Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,826
Hi, ready to order?
2
00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,744
Do you have anything
that's really special?
3
00:00:06,746 --> 00:00:09,998
Not according to my
high school guidance counselor.
4
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,866
I'll have the veggie plate.
5
00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,835
But instead of beets,
I want kale.
6
00:00:13,837 --> 00:00:16,337
And instead of broccoli,
more kale.
7
00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:18,339
I want the veggies steamed.
8
00:00:18,341 --> 00:00:20,074
And instead of dressing,
I want lemons.
9
00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:22,010
Don't you need
to write this down?
10
00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:23,845
I'm afraid if I start
writing that down,
11
00:00:23,847 --> 00:00:27,131
it'll turn into a suicide note.
12
00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,550
I'm assuming
this table's gonna have
13
00:00:28,552 --> 00:00:30,185
a lot more of those requests.
14
00:00:30,187 --> 00:00:33,221
Yes, I could tell by the hats.
15
00:00:43,182 --> 00:00:46,401
Earl, I have something new
I want you to try.
16
00:00:46,403 --> 00:00:48,319
That's the exact same sentence
17
00:00:48,321 --> 00:00:51,272
that got me hooked
on cocaine in the '80s.
18
00:00:51,274 --> 00:00:53,708
It's my new cupcake flavor.
19
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:57,295
Delicious dark chocolate
the ladies can't help but love.
20
00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,497
I'm calling it
"The Earl."
21
00:00:59,499 --> 00:01:02,383
I know you got that right.
22
00:01:02,385 --> 00:01:03,635
Hi, I'm here.
23
00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,786
I was running late
so I decided to hail a cab.
24
00:01:05,788 --> 00:01:07,955
And then I remembered I didn't
have any money on me.
25
00:01:07,957 --> 00:01:10,341
And then I remembered
I didn't have any money at all.
26
00:01:10,343 --> 00:01:13,011
So I walked the whole way here.
27
00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:15,263
The apartment's
three blocks away.
28
00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:16,314
Yes, I know.
29
00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:18,799
Three blocks
and 15 "Hola chicas" away.
30
00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:21,352
Well, you can't be late again.
31
00:01:21,354 --> 00:01:23,271
I'm already worried
about me being late...
32
00:01:23,273 --> 00:01:25,473
every month.
33
00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:28,526
On my way here, a homeless man
asked me for money.
34
00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:30,945
And I told him
that I usually always give,
35
00:01:30,947 --> 00:01:33,414
but that my father was indicted
in a Ponzi scandal
36
00:01:33,416 --> 00:01:36,417
and I've lost my family fortune
and my Manhattan townhouse,
37
00:01:36,419 --> 00:01:38,819
so I've been sleeping
on a couch in Brooklyn,
38
00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,788
but, in spite of it all,
I'm still optimistic
39
00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:42,540
that you and I
will achieve success
40
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:45,326
in our exciting new cupcake
business venture.
41
00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:52,884
I prefer to think
of Bob near the bridge
42
00:01:52,886 --> 00:01:54,469
as our first investor.
43
00:01:54,471 --> 00:01:57,355
Pickup!
Special sandwich.
44
00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:59,724
I can think
of even more special sandwich.
45
00:01:59,726 --> 00:02:04,362
You, me
and the hot blonde giraffe.
46
00:02:04,364 --> 00:02:07,031
Well, she recently
lost her dignity,
47
00:02:07,033 --> 00:02:08,666
so you might have a shot.
48
00:02:08,668 --> 00:02:11,736
Hello today!
49
00:02:11,738 --> 00:02:13,404
I have nametag for you.
50
00:02:13,406 --> 00:02:16,374
Only your second day
and look, nametag already.
51
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,993
As new owner, I am killing it.
52
00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:20,027
Thank you.
53
00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:21,462
Oh, it says "Carolin."
54
00:02:21,464 --> 00:02:23,414
It's Caroline.
With an "E."
55
00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:25,199
I'm Caroline.
56
00:02:25,201 --> 00:02:27,719
As new owner, I am sucking it.
57
00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:29,704
Just put it on.
58
00:02:29,706 --> 00:02:31,389
You can't tell an Asian
he made a mistake.
59
00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:34,359
He'll go in the back
and throw himself on a sword.
60
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,010
Thank you,
Mr. Lee.
61
00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:37,395
You may call me Han.
62
00:02:37,397 --> 00:02:39,013
H-a-n.
63
00:02:39,015 --> 00:02:40,932
No trap in my name.
64
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:43,234
I'm thinking we should take
65
00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:45,486
the first step
in our new cupcake business
66
00:02:45,488 --> 00:02:47,555
by writing
"Max's Homemade Cupcakes"
67
00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:48,890
up on the specials board.
68
00:02:48,892 --> 00:02:50,558
No, I can't have
my name up there.
69
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,745
Everyone I owe money to
thinks I live in Seattle.
70
00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:57,999
Oh, we used to own Seattle.
71
00:02:58,001 --> 00:03:00,251
Max, we've got to get
the name out there.
72
00:03:00,253 --> 00:03:01,285
Create a buzz.
73
00:03:01,287 --> 00:03:02,370
Ooh, good idea!
74
00:03:02,372 --> 00:03:03,287
Let's create a buzz.
75
00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:04,555
Exactly,
in order to launch--
76
00:03:04,557 --> 00:03:07,041
I'm mocking you.
77
00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,926
When in doubt,
I'm always mocking you.
78
00:03:08,928 --> 00:03:10,428
Seriously, Max.
79
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,797
This new cupcake business
is our lifeline.
80
00:03:12,799 --> 00:03:14,549
A way out for both of us.
81
00:03:14,551 --> 00:03:17,552
And I wanna thank you again
for letting me move in.
82
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:19,804
If there's anything
I can do to help you--
83
00:03:19,806 --> 00:03:22,473
You mean besides
starting to wait on tables?
84
00:03:22,475 --> 00:03:23,891
I meant, anything I can do
85
00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:26,527
to help you through
your breakup with Robbie.
86
00:03:26,529 --> 00:03:29,947
Oh. Thanks,
but I'm fine.
87
00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,015
And we're working.
88
00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:33,401
Well, one of us is.
89
00:03:33,403 --> 00:03:35,253
Are you sure you're fine?
90
00:03:35,255 --> 00:03:37,455
'Cause I heard you
crying last night.
91
00:03:37,457 --> 00:03:38,790
I don't cry.
92
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:43,294
I sold my tear ducts to an organ
bank for cash two years ago.
93
00:03:43,296 --> 00:03:44,862
I was on the couch.
94
00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:47,715
And I heard you crying alone
in your bedroom.
95
00:03:47,717 --> 00:03:50,551
Really?
What did the crying sound like?
96
00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:55,807
Like...
97
00:03:57,292 --> 00:03:58,676
I wasn't crying.
98
00:03:58,678 --> 00:03:59,894
Well, then what
were you d--
99
00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:03,464
Oh! So none of
my business.
100
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:05,933
That's right.
And remember that.
101
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,301
Got it.
102
00:04:07,303 --> 00:04:08,603
In fact, let's just say
that anything having to do
103
00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:11,489
with my bedroom, my tables,
or my life--
104
00:04:11,491 --> 00:04:12,573
you should stay away from.
105
00:04:12,575 --> 00:04:13,974
Boundaries.
Got it.
106
00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:17,645
And please
don't tell anyone at work
107
00:04:17,647 --> 00:04:19,147
I let you move
into my apartment.
108
00:04:19,149 --> 00:04:21,649
That is one boundary
we both don't want crossed.
109
00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,618
Why?
110
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,620
Hey, roomies.
111
00:04:25,622 --> 00:04:27,805
That's why.
112
00:04:34,052 --> 00:04:35,384
Hope those sheets are okay.
113
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,626
Oh, don't worry about it.
114
00:04:36,746 --> 00:04:38,161
I know they're the best
you could afford.
115
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,946
Not really.
The good ones are on my bed.
116
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,198
Max, that oven is so hot.
117
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,517
Could you do me a favor
and open the back door?
118
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:47,618
We've known each other two days
119
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,020
and you're already
asking for back door?
120
00:04:57,462 --> 00:04:59,463
Dear God!
121
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,799
I forgot
you're Equestrian Barbie.
122
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,485
You came with a horse.
123
00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,304
No.
124
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,206
Out, horse, bad!
Bad horse.
125
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:15,096
Chestnut.
126
00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:18,482
No need to yell,
he's a champion.
127
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,434
Champion stink bomb.
128
00:05:20,436 --> 00:05:22,520
It's smelling pretty ripe
out in that yard.
129
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,656
That's not Chestnut,
that's Brooklyn.
130
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,058
Okay, well, I'm watching
"The Champion"
131
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:33,364
drop some steaming hot
"Brooklyn" right now.
132
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,484
Max, I've been thinking about
how you completely overreacted
133
00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:38,502
to your name
up on the specials board.
134
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,538
Do you think it's
a fear of success?
135
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:44,091
I am too poor
to have a fear of success.
136
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,710
At Wharton Business School,
we learned
137
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,179
that every new venture can bring
up a certain amount of fear.
138
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,348
Is there any way
to do a yelp review
139
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,633
of Wharton Business School?
140
00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:55,970
Maybe you're having
a hard time imagining
141
00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:57,938
this cupcake business
could ever even happen
142
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,275
because nobody ever believed
in you or your dreams.
143
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,510
I'm guessing.
144
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,429
I can make this happen, Max.
145
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,765
For me, for you, for us.
146
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,900
Just keep making
those amazing cupcakes.
147
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:12,603
And I'll do the rest
till you believe.
148
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,071
I believe
everything you just said
149
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,291
and that children
are the future.
150
00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:38,546
Max, it's me!
151
00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:41,632
I know it's you.
152
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,651
You sleep with a knife
under your pillow?
153
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,938
It's the only home security
system I can afford.
154
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,140
And I'm a cutter.
155
00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:52,827
I can't sleep on that couch.
156
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:56,997
I think Ikea might be the
Scandinavian word for sciatica.
157
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:59,483
And there's weird sounds
in the street.
158
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,836
And I don't have
my white noise machine.
159
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,454
Well, that's
Puerto Rican noise.
160
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,655
You'll get used to it.
161
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,925
Can I just lay down here
and get a little sleep?
162
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,845
I don't even let the men
I sleep with sleep with me.
163
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,597
I can't get into
your issues right now.
164
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,633
I just need to sleep!
165
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:19,270
Fine, get in then.
166
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,805
What is that?
167
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:24,442
Potato chips.
I sleep-eat.
168
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,927
Cool ranch and bacon?
169
00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:29,012
Dude, they're delicious.
170
00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:31,115
Because of your breakup
with Robbie?
171
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,399
Just get in.
172
00:07:32,401 --> 00:07:35,653
I have to be in the city
to babysit in five hours.
173
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:42,526
Oh, great,
you're like a nightlight.
174
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:47,298
You're so blonde.
175
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,000
Thank you.
176
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,723
Max, someone's
in the living room.
177
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,392
Max, someone's in the bedroom!
178
00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,810
Robbie!
179
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,612
What's up, babe?
180
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,314
Robbie, what are you
doing here?
181
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,715
We broke up.
182
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,684
Still?
183
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,569
Yes, still.
You hit on me.
184
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,321
And then she caught you
with someone else
185
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,722
in these very sheets.
186
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,608
Which I'm hoping she washed.
187
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:15,826
Oh, I get it.
188
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,496
You blew me off
'cause you like the ladies.
189
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,198
Which is cool.
I like the ladies, too.
190
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,834
And right now,
it's the two ladies I like.
191
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,836
Robbie, if I were
gonna go lesbian,
192
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:29,456
she would be the last "les"
I'd "bian."
193
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,091
Listen, babe--
194
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,242
You really hurt her.
195
00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,344
Stop.
196
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,347
She sleep-eats trans fats
thanks to you.
197
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,415
Here, stuff all of these
in your mouth.
198
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:43,086
Got it, your thing.
I'll be quiet.
199
00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:45,105
Robbie, this isn't cool at all.
200
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,257
Mm-mm.
201
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,426
Showing up here
after what you did?
202
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,261
You go, girl.
203
00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:54,565
I have something to say to you
and you had better listen.
204
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:58,602
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
205
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,939
What are you,
the relationship ghost?
206
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,407
Robbie, just go!
207
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,377
I can't say what I need to in
front of the relationship ghost.
208
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,212
I'll call you
to come get your stuff
209
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,330
and we can talk then.
210
00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:10,614
Leave the key.
211
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,718
Straight up, Max,
you're breaking my heart.
212
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,838
You're the only woman
that I feel this way about.
213
00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:24,094
Here.
214
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,347
Ladies, I don't know
what's going on here,
215
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:29,567
but it would've been
a lot sexier if I was in it.
216
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,905
Are you okay?
217
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,307
If you wanna talk, I'm here.
218
00:09:37,309 --> 00:09:40,494
Can I get a hit off that?
219
00:09:45,984 --> 00:09:49,653
You think these are good?
220
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,773
God, we're poor.
221
00:09:57,979 --> 00:09:59,046
Morning!
222
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,664
It's a beautiful day.
223
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:04,285
These shades belong down.
224
00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,387
From now on, think of me
as a vampire
225
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:09,139
without all
the annoying marketing.
226
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,391
Bad news.
227
00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:12,977
A pipe broke in the street
so the water's off.
228
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,729
Good news, when I went out
to get us two coffees,
229
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:19,016
I spoke to Juan and Javier,
two city workers.
230
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,119
And they assured me the water'll
be on no later than 3:00.
231
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,570
I also stopped
at the health food store
232
00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:25,356
and got us
a fresh-squeezed juice to split.
233
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,124
It's ginger-apple-strawberry.
234
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,358
That was the name of the hooker
235
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,662
who had this apartment
before me.
236
00:10:33,531 --> 00:10:34,832
What is this?
237
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,250
From me.
238
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,469
It says "Thanks for letting me
sleep in your bed last night."
239
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:42,006
I prefer my usual cash
on the bedside table.
240
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,042
When I went
to the cute coffee place,
241
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,377
I spoke to the counter girl,
Nabulangi--
242
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:50,147
If someone named Nabulangi
is making an appearance
243
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,132
in the first sentence,
I have to sit down.
244
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:55,218
And she said
her manager'll be in at 11:00.
245
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,721
So I thought I'd chanel it up,
246
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:58,889
walk on over there,
247
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,558
introduce myself
and your fabulous cupcakes.
248
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,778
That's exactly what
I was gonna do.
249
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,531
I'm just gonna go say good-bye
to Chestnut and get going.
250
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,416
You know, having
only one cute outfit
251
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:14,855
takes hours off
getting dressed.
252
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:18,625
Oh. That is a lot
of fresh Brooklyn.
253
00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:20,077
Morning, Chestnut.
254
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,046
It's a beautiful--
255
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:26,249
No. Way.
256
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:40,981
Look, Chanel Number Two.
257
00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:44,601
Tell me it's mud.
258
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,269
T-tell me it's mud.
259
00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:48,789
It's mud?
260
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,207
What is that?
261
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,627
A carrot?
262
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:56,830
There's carrots in the mud?
263
00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:02,970
There's no water.
264
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,339
Oh, get it off me, please.
265
00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:06,340
Please do something.
266
00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:08,475
Just get it off me,
get it off me.
267
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,510
Stop!
268
00:12:09,512 --> 00:12:10,961
This is dry-clean only.
269
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,130
Max, please, please take me
270
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:16,183
somewhere they have
a hot shower, I beg of you.
271
00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,636
Calm down, it's just mud.
272
00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:19,153
Max, please--
273
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,739
Don't touch me!
274
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,037
Thank you so much
for taking me to shower
275
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,222
at your babysitting job.
276
00:12:29,224 --> 00:12:31,073
Well, I didn't have
much of a choice.
277
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:33,509
You pulled the pillow knife
on me.
278
00:12:33,511 --> 00:12:34,710
I'll just introduce myself
to your boss
279
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,695
and tell her what happened.
280
00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:37,713
Look, I don't want Peach
to know you were here.
281
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,832
This is a job.
Not a meet-and-greet.
282
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,033
Got it.
283
00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:42,552
You get in there, you
take a five-minute shower,
284
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,036
clean it up and go.
285
00:12:44,038 --> 00:12:46,656
Fine, I'll hide in the hallway
till she's gone.
286
00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:50,059
No need, just follow me in.
She never really looks at me.
287
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,394
Morning!
288
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,013
Hi, Max.
289
00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:56,682
Go!
290
00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:57,716
Hey, Peach.
291
00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,602
Uh, hair and makeup.
292
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:00,853
What's the big occasion?
293
00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,105
Pilates.
294
00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:05,224
Max, good news.
295
00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:08,160
They found a way
to make diamonds more sparkly?
296
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:12,031
I got Brad and Angelina
a playdate
297
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,333
with another set of twins
in the building.
298
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,668
It starts in five minutes.
299
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,786
Cool, what are their names?
300
00:13:16,788 --> 00:13:18,904
6B.
301
00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:20,873
Bye-bye,
Brangelina.
302
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,341
Mommy loves you.
303
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,427
Guys?
Before you leave,
304
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,678
stop at this one.
305
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,079
Angelina could
use a little help.
306
00:13:27,081 --> 00:13:30,099
Contour that neck,
she's a fatty.
307
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,884
Peach, come on,
that's baby fat.
308
00:13:31,886 --> 00:13:34,387
Still, kids can be cruel.
309
00:13:34,389 --> 00:13:37,189
Don't you listen
to your mommy, Angelina.
310
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,358
She never eats.
311
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,528
Oh, no, she doesn't.
312
00:13:44,231 --> 00:13:45,915
Here it is.
313
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,400
Caroline with an "E."
314
00:13:47,402 --> 00:13:49,601
I have your new
and correct nametag.
315
00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:50,987
Oh, thank you, Han.
316
00:13:50,989 --> 00:13:53,939
Oh.
317
00:13:53,941 --> 00:13:56,158
I've seen something
I should not have.
318
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,778
I will just put correct nametag
here on counter.
319
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:04,250
So sorry, but many thank yous.
320
00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:05,751
What are you doing?
321
00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:07,970
I know you said
you don't want it up there.
322
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,955
But now that you see it...
323
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,641
How does it feel?
324
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,225
It feels like
you're not listening to me
325
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,727
at this job or at my other job.
326
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,646
I said a five-minute shower
and get out.
327
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,230
Did you take a nap at Peach's?
328
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,815
The thread count
was calling to me.
329
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,601
Peach found blonde hairs
in her bed
330
00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:24,570
and thought her husband
was cheating on her.
331
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,356
Which he is,
but that's not the point.
332
00:14:27,358 --> 00:14:30,026
You almost ruined
a perfectly happy fake marriage,
333
00:14:30,028 --> 00:14:31,694
and there are
innocent children involved.
334
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,196
Well, I have some good news.
335
00:14:34,198 --> 00:14:35,815
Look, it's Nabulangi.
336
00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:37,833
I invited her in
to taste your amazing cupcakes.
337
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,453
And when she loves them,
we'll have an in at her bakery.
338
00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:42,038
Come over and say hello.
339
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,323
No, I can't now. I wanna call
Robbie before we get too busy.
340
00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:46,008
Tell him when to come over
and get his stuff.
341
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,209
Max, wait.
342
00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:48,778
No, don't distract me.
343
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,429
I wanna sound cool and hot
and all like,
344
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,332
"You can't have me
anymore, sucka."
345
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:54,433
Max--
346
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,018
Robbie, it's me.
347
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,188
Classy burp
on your outgoing message.
348
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,506
Max, I--
349
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,557
No.
350
00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:03,442
I need you to come
get your stuff tomorrow.
351
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,061
I don't know how
you've been surviving
352
00:15:05,063 --> 00:15:08,230
without your chin-up bar
and Axe body spray.
353
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:09,198
Max, hang up.
354
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,650
I already called him.
355
00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:13,703
You called Robbie?
356
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,787
You've done so much for me.
357
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,622
I wanted to do
something for you, too.
358
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,124
So I called Robbie
and I had him come over,
359
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,575
and I gave him his stuff.
360
00:15:19,577 --> 00:15:21,827
Now you won't have to go through
with all that mess.
361
00:15:21,829 --> 00:15:25,531
And I think you'd be pleased,
I really let him have it.
362
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,867
What is with you
and boundaries?
363
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:30,553
You're in my bed,
you're in my boss' bed,
364
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,004
and now you go and call Robbie?
365
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,806
You're like--
you're like your big-ass horse.
366
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,707
Charging in everywhere
you don't belong.
367
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,876
I thought I was
doing you a favor.
368
00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:40,813
In spite of what you say
about the sounds I heard
369
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,264
coming from your bedroom
the other night,
370
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:43,899
I know you're upset.
371
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,553
I was masturbating.
372
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:51,690
I love my job.
373
00:15:51,692 --> 00:15:55,044
I need to see you
outside. Now.
374
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,079
Don't get involved with her.
375
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,064
She takes money
from the homeless.
376
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,117
Not true, Bob's an investor.
377
00:16:01,119 --> 00:16:02,334
Be right back.
378
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,538
Good cupcake, right?
379
00:16:08,508 --> 00:16:10,042
Max, I don't know
how smart that was,
380
00:16:10,044 --> 00:16:12,678
blowing by our only potential
business contact.
381
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,048
You stole my breakup scene.
382
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:17,933
The only remotely good thing
about breaking up with a guy
383
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,918
is telling him how much better
you are than him
384
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,604
when you give him back
his stuff.
385
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,222
I don't know if you noticed,
386
00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:25,107
but my entertainment budget
is pretty low
387
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,859
and I was really
looking forward to that.
388
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,395
And then you went and stole it.
389
00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:30,946
But I guess
you couldn't help it,
390
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,749
'cause that's what you channings
do, you steal things.
391
00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:36,452
Huh.
392
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,870
Interesting.
393
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,706
Okay, you wanted
a breakup scene?
394
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,907
You're in one.
395
00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:43,242
I'm breaking up with you.
396
00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:44,443
Oh, okay.
397
00:16:44,445 --> 00:16:46,912
The cupcake business is over,
the dream is dead.
398
00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:49,948
Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi
will be devastated.
399
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:52,635
I don't need you
or your cupcakes to survive.
400
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,836
I'll figure something else out.
401
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,639
Because, aside from your
constant Wharton putdowns,
402
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,057
I'm a business genius
403
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,925
and I will always land
on my feet.
404
00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:01,227
Oh, really?
405
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,479
'Cause today you kind of
landed on your front.
406
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,181
We're done.
407
00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:07,466
After work tonight,
I'll get my things and be gone.
408
00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:09,819
Ooh, you gonna load up
your dream-filled wheelie bag
409
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,471
and ride away
on sir muds-a-lot?
410
00:17:12,473 --> 00:17:15,357
Go ahead.
Be as negative as you want.
411
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,461
'Cause you're in charge
of your own future again.
412
00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:20,344
Oh, joke's on you.
I don't have a future.
413
00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,309
Max...
414
00:17:34,311 --> 00:17:36,078
Are you up?
415
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,813
No.
416
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:40,465
Max, are you mad?
417
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,466
Yes.
418
00:17:41,468 --> 00:17:44,252
Are you up and mad?
419
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:46,722
No and yes.
420
00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:49,174
Oh, your bed's so soft.
421
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,678
That's my boob.
422
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,148
I know I moved out,
but I came back.
423
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,633
I took the rest
of our dead dream money
424
00:17:58,635 --> 00:18:01,653
and bought some cocktails
for myself and some people.
425
00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:03,939
And myself.
426
00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:05,574
Did you bring me back
any of those?
427
00:18:05,576 --> 00:18:07,859
'Cause I can't
listen to this sober.
428
00:18:07,861 --> 00:18:10,278
Max...
429
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,615
I have nothing.
430
00:18:13,617 --> 00:18:16,451
I really need
the cupcake business.
431
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:19,654
I can be different.
432
00:18:19,656 --> 00:18:20,906
No, you can't.
433
00:18:20,908 --> 00:18:23,792
No, I can't.
434
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:27,379
But I can be better.
435
00:18:27,381 --> 00:18:28,830
Please?
436
00:18:28,832 --> 00:18:31,600
Please, let's do this.
437
00:18:31,602 --> 00:18:33,802
I know you have
a fear of success.
438
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:37,505
You do, because no one
ever believed in your dreams.
439
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:41,176
But I believe in your dreams.
440
00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:43,195
We have a dream.
441
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,680
God, you are so drunk.
442
00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:49,618
So you probably
won't even remember this.
443
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:54,423
I'm sorry I said that stuff
about your father.
444
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,124
Did you hear me?
445
00:18:56,126 --> 00:18:59,861
Max, are you up?
446
00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:05,801
Hey, do you have any more
of those poor people chips?
447
00:19:05,803 --> 00:19:10,038
What's up, hangover three?
448
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,306
Why are these up?
449
00:19:11,308 --> 00:19:14,810
I thought we were vampires.
450
00:19:14,812 --> 00:19:17,929
Here, I took the rest
of last night's cupcake money,
451
00:19:17,931 --> 00:19:21,867
and brought you a coffee
and a fresh juice.
452
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,102
Which means that,
after two days in business,
453
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:27,522
we are $23 down
from where we were.
454
00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:31,109
So we're still building
our cupcake business?
455
00:19:31,111 --> 00:19:32,327
Sure.
456
00:19:32,329 --> 00:19:34,329
All we need is how much?
457
00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:36,865
$250,000.
458
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:39,835
Which is awesome.
459
00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:43,121
Max, I'm sorry
I crossed all those boundaries.
460
00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:44,339
It's cool.
461
00:19:44,341 --> 00:19:46,291
Me and drunk Caroline
worked it all out.
462
00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:48,293
In fact...
463
00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:53,265
She signed this paper.
464
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:57,202
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a..."
465
00:19:57,204 --> 00:19:59,020
What's that word?
466
00:19:59,022 --> 00:20:02,023
Punk ass ho.
467
00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:03,475
Thanks.
468
00:20:03,477 --> 00:20:07,028
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a punk ass ho.
469
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,531
"I promise to keep
my big mouth shut,
470
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:12,451
"and replace all
of Max's poor people chips.
471
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:18,439
I will no longer meddle
in her relation-chips."
472
00:20:18,441 --> 00:20:21,793
You laughed about that
until you threw up.
473
00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:23,078
Oh, and if you're wondering,
474
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,331
no, the puke stains
will not void this contract.
475
00:20:29,618 --> 00:20:32,453
God!
476
00:20:32,455 --> 00:20:34,806
I forgot again
that we have a horse.
477
00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:36,308
Max, get him out of here.
478
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:38,538
He doesn't know I'm a waitress.
479
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:42,308
Chestnut.
480
00:20:47,636 --> 00:20:48,737
He is a champion.
481
00:20:48,739 --> 00:20:50,523
He learned that a lot
faster than you did.
33767
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof