Original subtitles

[ Rooster crows ]

Ever since there have been fathers and sons,

There have been father-and-son traditions,

Rituals that bond man to boy and knit boy to man.

In my family, there was one tradition

That outranked all others in sheer gross ritual tonnage.

The triennial Arnold three-day fishing trip.

That everything?

- Think so. - Yeah.

Ah, let me check.

Every few years, Dad would round up the poles and boots

And his old army tent from the attic

And pack us off for a weekend at Berlinger Falls.

Not that we had a choice in the matter.

Okay. Looks like we got it all.

Everybody ready?

No.

Yes.

Right, Dad. We're ready.

Good. Let's get started.

So, that fall of 1972,

We headed off for our first expedition since I was 12.

- I get the front seat. - I get the front.

Just get in the car!

Fine. Then I get the backseat.

[ Chuckles ] sucker.

[ laughs ]

Butthead.

[ Engine turns over ] The funny thing is,

Of all the trips we ever made, it's the one I remember most,

Not because it was the best or the worst...

Are we there yet?

Wayne.

Hey, just asking.

But because it was the last.

[ Joe Cocker's "With a Little Help From My Friends" plays ]

♪ Baby ♪

♪ high with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ said I'm gonna make it with my friends ♪

♪ try with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ oh, oh, I'm gonna keep on tryin' ♪

♪ get by with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on tryin', now, babe ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Berlinger falls...

Fresh air, trees,

A suburban outdoors-man's Valhalla.

Where men could kick back in the company of men...

Such as they were.

It was a place where Dads could be Dads

And kids could be kids.

Where fathers and sons could share things... Together.

Three men in a tent.

[ canned heat's "going up the country" plays ]

♪ I'm going up the country ♪

♪ babe, don't you want ♪

Trouble was, to get there, first you had to be...

Three men in a car.

Gee, Dad. Think you could drive a little bit slower?

What are you talking about? I'm driving 55.

Whoa.

[ Chuckles ]

Not that bickering in the bucket was anything new to us.

Kevin, I said turn down that music.

Why?

- It's too loud. - It is not.

♪ Tastes like wine ♪

Still, this time,

It was clear something had changed,

Something hard to define.

Who thought of this stupid trip, anyway?

What's that supposed to mean?

[ Sniffs ] means why are we going?

Fortunately,

When it came to questions of cosmic dimensions,

The old man was a pro.

Look, I took a day off, I got you two a day off,

And now we're going fishing.

And that's all I want to hear. Understood?

Got it.

And, given the circumstances,

It was probably as good a reason as any.

- [ whistling ] - ♪ Got to get away ♪

After all,this was ritual.

This was tradition.

This was...

Ed's bait shop. Remember?

Ed's bait shop.

The last outpost before the wild.

Night crawlers, inchworms, grubs.

What kid could forget it?

Okay, fan out. We need hooks, leader, waders, and lures.

Wait a minute.

Uh, Dad? How 'bout some food?

- Food? - Yeah.

- You know, to eat. - What are you talking about?

We don't need food! We're gonna catch fish!

Get beans.

- Yeah. And beer. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - And soda for Kevin.

[ Buzzer ]

Wait a minute.

Dad... I'm 16 years old.

So?

So... I can handle a brew.

Figured I'd get the priorities straight from the get-go.

Fine.

Get him root beer.

Seemed clear

This tradition business was gonna have its drawbacks.

Hi. This it?

And not just for me.

Where's Ed?

Ed?

You know, Ed.

Runs the place. Nice old guy.

Oh. He's dead.

Boating accident couple of years ago.

Hmm.

Well... Send him our regards, anyway.

So... Doing a little fishing.

Yeah.

Fortunately, not in a boat.

We're heading up to Berlinger falls...

A little secret spot I found.

Oh. Can't go up there anymore.

Not by car, anyway.

They closed that road last summer.

The only way in's by foot.

8 miles.

It was a major setback... for tradition, for memories...

Well...

We're going anyway.

But not for my father.

After all, we were campers, not hikers.

I can't believe this.

Dad, are you sure you know what you're doing?

What are you talking about? It's just a few leaves.

Even though it was more like the whole forest.

You know what?

Maybe we ought to scrap this plan, head for home.

What do you think? Yeah, I think he's got a point.

Seemed clear to us...

Some things were meant to be, some weren't.

Don't be ridiculous.

We've come this far. We're not turning back.

But, Dad, we don't even know where we are.

Of course we do. I never get lost.

And so... Thanks to Dad's built-in compass

And a lot of good luck...

[ wings fluttering ]

We finally arrived, three hours later.

Well, we're here.

Oh, good.

Yeah. Great.

So? What do you think?

But what could we say?

We'd been shanghaied from our beds,

Hauled through the woods, and dumped here.

And for what?

It's perfect, isn't it? Just like it always was.

And the funny thing is,

At that moment, seeing it through Dad's eyes...

Suddenly that stupid little spot didn't seem all that bad.

It's okay.

Not bad.

And there was only one more thing to say.

Let's get moving. Time to make camp.

And so we set to work

Carving out our place in the great outdoors,

Following a ritual we'd known since we were kids.

It's funny, but setting up that old tent

Was kind of like going back in time.

And somehow, working like that,

We recaptured something we'd almost forgotten.

Beans.

This is the life, isn't it?

Don't worry.

Tomorrow we'll get up early and catch us a mess of fish, right?

Sure, Dad.

[ Belches ]

It was great.

Old times, good times...

Sitting around the fire...

Dad and me skinning Wayne at cards...

Gin.

What?!

It was kind of like

Finding out your pet hamster could do calculus.

- Dad, pop me a beer, will you? - Yeah, me too.

What the hey? It was worth a shot.

Never mind.

You know... I've been thinking.

One of these days, I'm gonna chuck it all.

Find us a place to retire... like this.

We could build us a cabin, logs, maybe.

Wouldn't have to be much.

It was the same old dream

Dad had talked about since I was 3 years old.

We could come here in April and stay till it snowed.

We could catch fish all summer,

Live off what we caught.

It was like a litany.

We'd heard it a hundred times before.

Still, that night, for some reason...

Yeah, what about your mortgage?

What's that got to do with it?

Well...

Don't you, like, owe the bank a pile?

Yeah. I mean, is that really practical?

I mean, with what you make and everything?

Of course, looking back, our two cents

Might not have been exactly in the spirit of the moment.

[ laughs ]

Gin. [ Chuckles ]

Another hand, huh?

Uh, I don't think so.

Maybe we ought to hit the hay, huh?

Yeah, sure!

Sure, Dad.

Good call.

After all, if things were a little rough around the fire,

At least we always had the comfort of the old tent.

My sleeping bag.

Hey, come on.

Watch it!

- You watch it. - You can wait.

Wayne.

Hey, that's my spot. You're in my spot.

- Okay, okay! - Get out!

Wait! Wait a minute! Let's think this out!

What happened?

But it wasn't gonna take a genius to figure this one out.

Stated simply, we were 38 square feet of family

In 32 square feet of tent...

Which added up to one thing.

Who thought of this stupid trip in the first place?

Knew we should have stayed in a motel.

Wayne.

- You know, I'm gonna sleep outside. - No, I'll sleep outside.

No. I'll sleep outside.

And, of course, it was the only solution.

[ thunder crashes, rain falling ]

And I guess at that moment, it was clear...

The horrible unvarnished truth.

We were caught, trapped... three men in a tent...

With no way out.

And not only that...

Dad.

Yeah.

There's a leak.

The next morning, the clouds had cleared.

By some miracle of physical engineering,

We'd made it through the night... Alive.

And as the sun rose, hope once again

Sprang full-blown in the Arnold manly breast.

After all, this was fishing. This was tradition.

This was...

[ insects buzzing ]

Carnage.

Does anyone have any bug spray?

We ran out an hour ago.

Seemed the only thing biting around here

Were the mosquitoes.

So it was time to fall back on the oldest technique

Known to fishermen in times of trouble.

Kevin, you got to cast it out further

If you want to catch anything.

Give the other guy advice.

Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing.

Even though I didn't.

Dad!

Dad, I got a bite.

Need any help?

No. I got it.

And I did. I had it.

The first catch of the day.

Ease her in.

[ Water splashes ] ease her in.

It was big, all right... big, mean, tough.

It was...

Totally humiliating.

[ laughter ]

Personally, I'd throw it back. It's flat.

Nah, keep it. It'll look good on the wall.

[ laughter ]

Pretty funny.

Hey, Kev!

Hey, I hear the tires are really biting around here.

Shut up, butthead.

Okay, then. If that's the way they wanted to play it,

I could play rough, too.

After all, if I couldn't catch a fish,

There was always a chance I might snare myself

A 140-pound large-mouth bass.

Hey, Wayne, come over here.

I got to show you something. It's really cool. Yeah?

- Yeah, you got to see it. - Okay. In a second.

[Chuckles] it was mean. It was rotten.

It was irresistible.

What is it, Kev? You find something?

Uh, no, Dad. It's nothing.

It's for Wayne.

Wayne!

No, really. Let me take a look.

Uh-oh.

No! Dad!

[ laughs ]

Dad?

I'm really sorry, Dad.

Yeah.

You know, it wasn't supposed to happen like that.

Uhhuh.

I hope you're not mad.

Of course, this was my father.

He, of all men, could appreciate the humor in this.

How could you pull a stupid stunt like that?

Kevin, someone could have been hurt!

Okay, I knew what was required here...

An honest apology...

Straight, simple, and heartfelt.

I'm sorry, Dad. I tried to warn you.

And you were there, and...

[ chuckling ] then you weren't.

But maybe it was the lack of sleep

Or maybe it was seeing him

Standing there in wet boxer shorts.

And, uh... I'm also sorry

About losing your hat.

But I bet it's caught a lot of fish by now.

It was awful.

The madder he got, the funnier it seemed.

- And then... - Hey, you guys!

I got a fish! I got a fish!

From the brink of annihilation...

- Get the net! - I'll get the net.

Came salvation.

Hurry up. Get the net. Get the net.

Suddenly, we knew, to a man, exactly why we had come.

- I got it. - Let me get my pants on!

It didn't matter that Wayne made the initial strike.

Oh, man! It's a big one!

We were all one unit now, a well-oiled machine

Working in harmony to bring glory to our quest.

Easy, now!

Whoo!

[ laughs ] yes! Yes! - Got it!

Whoo!

Man, look at the size of that sucker!

It must be like a 12-pounder.

That baby's a fighter!

Man, he was strong! I thought it was gonna rip off my arm!

Finally, we had what we'd been waiting for...

Something we could tell our grandchildren about...

The day we caught a 30-pounder together.

[ crickets chirping ]

[ Owl hooting ]

I don't believe it. Beans again.

Let's face it.

We were failures as campers...

As anglers...

As men.

Well, I know.

Why don't we cook up Kevin's catch?

Nothing like the taste of barbecued steel-belted radial.

[ laughs ]

Or how about filet of Firestone?

[ laughter ]

Not to mention stand-up comedians.

Very funny.

I hope you're all enjoying yourselves.

Because I wasn't. I was fed up.

Whoa. Where are you going?

I'm getting a beer.

- Kevin. - Dad.

I'm tired, I'm hot, and I'm sick of soda.

So I'm having a beer, okay?

And there it was. A challenge even Dad couldn't ignore.

You know...

Maybe the problem is we've been using the wrong lures.

The stuff you buy in the stores is no damn good.

Tell you something.

When I get my place up here, things are gonna be different.

I couldn't believe it.

I was trying my best to assert my manhood,

And this guy was ignoring me, like I was a little kid.

And I wasn't gonna take it anymore.

Get off it, Dad, will you?

What?

All this stuff about building a cabin.

You're never moving up here. Not in a million years.

I see.

It was possibly the meanest thing I'd ever said to the man.

But right then, I didn't care.

The way I saw it... Turnabout was fair play.

[ laughs ]

I don't believe it! That was great!

Hey, Kev. This bud's on you!

Get your hands off me.

Oh, why don't you make me, scrote?

- I'm warning you, Wayne. - Oh, I'm trembling.

Wayne.

That's enough! What's the matter with you two?!

I bring you all the way up here to fish, and all you do is fight!

Honest to god, why can't we all just try and...

Get along, the way we used to?

But the thing was...

I don't think we could tell him any more than he could tell us.

Hey...

There's foam on your head.

That's it.

[ Both grunting ]

Hey! Break it up! Knock it off!

And that's when it happened.

Break it up.

Things got a little...

- Dad! - ...Out of hand.

Dad!

It was 18 years of memories.

And there was nothing we could do

But stand there and watch.

[ snoring ]

Need any help?

Nah.

I wasn't sure quite what to say.

I wanted to make things right, but...

I knew I couldn't.

Sorry about the tent.

It's okay.

But I knew he was lying.

I knew Wayne and I had let him down.

We'd gotten older.

And the sad thing was...

It was nobody's fault.

Why did we come on this stupid trip anyway?

Well...

We planned it.

You got a day off, and you got us a day off.

So we came.

Besides...

It's only Saturday.

Let's stay up here till tomorrow.

Where are we gonna sleep?

Maybe the hardest part of growing up

Is having those you always counted on

Look to you.

I don't know.

We'll think of something.

[ Sighs ]

Come on.

We'll see what happens, okay? Okay.

After all, we'd come this far.

No sense turning back now.

[ Taj Majal's "Fishin' Blues" plays ]

[ Snoring ]

We fished the rest of that day.

- Whoa! - That wasn't bad.

We didn't catch much.

♪ bet your life, your sweet ♪

Dad said he'd like to move up here and open a bait shop.

I told him it was a great idea.

I think he believed me.

♪ tip that I would like to relate ♪

And, in the end, I guess we finally figured out

Why we'd come here in the first place.

♪ my baby's going fishin', too ♪

We'd come to say goodbye.

♪ to my favorite fishin' hole ♪

♪ baby grabbed me a pole and line ♪

♪ throw my pole on in, caught a 9-pound catfish ♪

♪ now, you know I brought him on home ♪