Original subtitles

♪ What would you do if I sang out of tune? ♪

♪ Would you stand up and walk out on me? ♪

♪ Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ♪

♪ I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪ ♪ By with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ All I need is my buddies ♪

♪ High with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ -♪ Try with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Somebody who knows quite sure ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ By with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ♪

♪ Try with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ♪

♪ High with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Sarge...

I'm scared.

So am I.

Not you!

Fowler, I'm always scared.

All right, landing departure. Get down!

Lock and load!

[ "Colonel bogey march" plays ]

Adolescence is a battle...

a life-or-death mission into hostile territory.

You tiptoe through minefields, dodge bullets,

try to do the right thing in a crazy time.

But war has another side...

the noble side...

Forging friendships between improbable comrades,

uniting men,

bringing together the good... The bad...

[ Whistle blows ]

The ugly.

Men, listen up!

Today we're gonna educate your hearts, your minds,

and your bodies.

Uhoh.

You'll need catlike reflexes...

nerves of steel...

And most of all...

Intestinal fortitude,

I.E...

guts.

Along around ninth grade, one thing was clear...

in the battle of growing up,

junior high school was basic training.

It's time to separate the men from the boys, men.

The object...

survival.

The game...

deathball.

Any volunteers?

♪ War, huh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ What is it good for? ♪

- ♪ Absolutely ♪ - ♪ Nothing ♪

♪ Uhhuh ♪

♪ War, huh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ What is it good for? ♪

- ♪ Absolutely ♪ - ♪ Nothing ♪

Not that any of us

had actually enlisted in this army.

Still, we'd learned one thing...

we'd learned how to survive.

Who's next?

♪ Ohhh, war ♪

♪ I despise ♪

It was all a matter of balance...

Poise...

Keeping your head down...

Avoiding the war.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Until, that is...

Ugh!

The war came to you.

Smell this.

- Go ahead. - Ugh.

Go on.

It's perfume.

Not just perfume.

Eau de Donna Pescarelli.

That was Walter McCafferty, "Mr. hormones"...

a real hound.

Wait. The Donna Pescarelli?

- The 10th-grader? - Uh-huh.

She was in the car when my sister dropped me off this morning.

I told her she had a bug on her.

She let me take it off.

I touched the back of her neck for at least...

man, it seemed like forever.

Wow.

And that's not all.

I got information.

Pescarelli's having a party.

At her house.

So?

A party. So what?

A slumber party?

Hold on. Did he say, "slumber party"?

And we're invited.

- What?! - What?! -What?! -What?!

Fiesta del Chiquitas, guys!

Ponytails, pillow fights, negligees.

Wait a minute.

You're saying high school girls invited us?

Well, almost.

Practically.

Okay, so we don't have a formal letter of introduction.

Who cares?

We know when, we know where...

So we crash it!

McCafferty, you're dreaming.

Yeah, he's dreaming.

When is it?

Tomorrow night... late.

No, we can't make it.

We're going camping tomorrow night in my backyard.

Right, Paul?

Oh. Yeah.

Right.

Suit yourself.

You're not the men I thought you were.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

Maybe not, but we weren't fools.

We were... Campers...

men who camped.

Paul.

Forget it.

Sure.

[ Cash register dings ]

I wonder what they actually wear

at a 10th-grade slumber party.

Paul.

Oh.

Do they wear negligees?

Do they wear anything?

[ Sighs ]

Sorry. Just thinking.

Yeah, well, don't.

We've been thinking...

maybe we should go to that party.

- Yeah, why not? - Yeah. -Yeah.

I couldn't understand it.

These were guys I'd known all my adult life.

Now they were acting like... 14-year-olds.

Look, Randy...

Yeah, we know.

But that's before we heard about the beer.

What beer?

Well, Walter's sister says all we have to do

is show up with a few brewskis and it's babe-o-rama.

Uh-huh. That sounded like Walter's sister.

Beer?

Where are you guys gonna get beer?

Hmm.

You could almost hear the wheels grinding.

It's not gonna work.

Of course it's not gonna work.

Sure, it will,

once we find a place to tell our parents

we're spending the night.

Any ideas?

Uh-oh.

I could sense my quiet evening of camping

about to go up in a blaze of total futility.

No. Nobody has any ideas.

Paul.

[ Cash register dings ]

Nobody.

[ Chips crunching ]

This is a great idea.

Pass the cookies.

Made you wonder if Daniel Boone had nights like this.

Look at these.

Not that I couldn't be hospitable.

Guys, get out.

What?

That's not very nice.

You heard me.

This tent isn't big enough for all of us.

Don't worry.

We're only staying till Walter shows up with the beers.

[ Scoffs ] Rand, it's not gonna happen.

Make way for the suds!

Hey, hey! Thataway, Walter.

Way to go!

It was beer...

actual barley and hops,

the kind cowboys and ballplayers drank.

Here it is...

our ticket to paradise, gents.

- Oh! - All right!

Yeah!

All right. That's it.

I'd had enough.

It was time to set these guys straight once and for all.

You guys are nuts. You know that?

I mean, you don't have a chance.

You'll never make it to the party,

and you'll probably get caught, and you'll never get in!

I mean, this idea's completely... Stupid.

It was a bitter pill, maybe,

but something any idiot could understand.

Almost any idiot.

Maybe he's right.

Of course I am.

And I was,

except, at that moment, something happened...

Something that made me realize

some things were bigger than logic,

mightier than reason.

- Look out! - Wah ha ha!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Laughs evilly ]

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

A rabbit? A fox?

Why, no! It's a Kevie!

Wayne, get off, you butthead!

Can't do it.

- Get off him. - Yeah!

Hey! Back off.

One move and he dies.

Wayne!

Lucky thing for you girls,

I just happened to be strolling by.

Seems I overheard something about a slumber party?

Oh, and beer?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Wayne, leave him alone.

Oh, well, these, of course,

will have to be destroyed.

Oh, no.

Let's see. Anything else?

Ah, yes... the address.

You're crazy.

[ Grunting ]

Go ahead. I'm not gonna tell you anything.

Wayne! It was a desperate moment.

- G-get off, butthead! - Still, lying there,

ground into the mud...

Wayne!-...I understood for the first time

what the guys had been telling me all along.

[ Laughs ]

Get off!-That some things were worth fighting for,

no matter how stupid.

No, don't! I'll tell you! It's 720 Goodwin Avenue!

Paul!

Thanks, Mr. Pfeiffer.

Gentlemen.

Better not see you at the party.

Unh!

[ Laughs ]

[ Bottles clanking ]

It was kind of a low moment.

There goes the beer.

There goes the whole night.

I can't believe you told him the address.

I had to. He was gonna kill you.

Yeah, except that's not where Pescarelli lives.

My Uncle Arnie, the herpetologist.

All we have to do

is show it to them, and we're in.

And in that moment, I made up my mind.

Let's go!

We're out of here.

[ Crickets chirping ]

There's something about battle that quickens the pulse.

As we waited for the bus to Donna Pescarelli's house,

we felt a surging in our blood,

the thrill of the mission.

[ Horn honks ]

Sure, it was dangerous.

Some of us might not come back.

At least we hoped so.

But united in struggle,

bonded by a common cause,

we awaited our destiny.

Well... Let's start walking.

[ "Colonel bogey march" plays ]

Heading through the darkness

towards Donna Pescarelli's slumber party that night,

there seemed to be something magical, mythical

about being out in the empty streets

in an unknown part of town.

[ Frogs croaking ]

We were like a band of soldiers,

a lost brigade marching though these foreign lands,

away from all civilization.

With an occasional stop for refueling.

- Let's go. - Number 58.

Number 58, pickup.

Still out there under the silent stars,

alone with our thoughts,

our minds naturally turned to the greater issues.

[ Music stops ] - Ugh.

My feet are killing me.

Well, why'd you wear those stupid shoes?

Hey, look, I didn't know I was gonna be walking.

Besides, babes notice things like shoes.

Put your shoes back on.

- [ Sneezes ] - Shh!

I must be allergic to something in this part of town.

Come on, guys! We got to move!

Oh, no.

Now I'm in trouble.

I forgot my inhaler.

It was kind of like Napoleon forgetting his hat.

Oh, well, what do you want to do now, Paul?

Well, I don't know.

Could we go back?

Our first major setback.

Someone had to act before our morale was crushed.

Oh, come on, Paul. Don't be such a wuss.

Oh. Nice, Kev.

Real nice.

Sure, it was rough but absolutely necessary.

Let's go.

After all, someone had to keep this company moving.

[ Tires screeching ] Someone like...

[ Siren wailing ]

The cops! Run!

Run! Not the cops!

Not the cops!

- Run! - Oh, no. No, not the cops.

- Come on! - Jump!

Come on!

[ All groaning ]

Okay, it was only a station wagon,

but it could have been the cops.

Anyway, it was our first real taste of action.

Everybody okay?

Yeah.

I think I'm hurt.

Let me see it.

How's it look?

Not too good. It's starting to swell up.

No, it always looks like that.

So, now what are we gonna do?

We'll just have to carry him.

Are you nuts?

Carry Doug? Who's gonna do that?

Step back.

Randy Mitchell... a real buddy,

the kind of guy you could count on,

the kind of guy who could move mountains.

Aah. Oh.

Gentle now. Gentle.

Half a block later,

we understood why mountains don't move.

Maybe we should leave him.

No. Not that! Anything but that!

All right.

Here. Hold these.

I'll go find him a crutch.

And suddenly, right under those bleachers, it hit me...

something was happening to us,

something... Important.

Right here, right now,

events were bringing out our true personalities...

the leader.

The wounded.

The stalwart.

[ Sneezing ]

The allergic.

The klutz.

The beer.

Nice play, Shakespeare.

Sorry, guys.

Great.

Now we're down to one lousy beer.

Tell me about it.

It was terrible.

I'd single-handedly wrecked the mission.

Well, there's only one thing to do now.

Stop by my house.

[ Indistinct whispering ]

It was a desperate gamble...

about six streets out of our way...

but we needed more ammo.

In here! Get in!

Okay, here's the plan.

I sneak into the house,

grab some more beers, and we head out.

Everybody understand?

Sounds simple enough.

Don't we need a signal?

Why?

Well, I don't know.

Seems like we ought to have a signal.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Okay?

All right.

It's the last one, man.

Guard it with your life.

Don't worry.

I will.

Well... I'm out of here.

- Hey, Walt? - Yeah?

I guess Doug was gonna speak what was in all our hearts.

Could you maybe grab some...

some peanut butter and some bread while you're in there?

I'm starving.

As we watched that baby-faced rascal

make his way into enemy turf,

we felt a lump welling in our throats.

[ Sneezes ]

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

- Cuckoo! Cuckoo! -Cuckoo! Cuckoo! - Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Looking back,

it's more than likely we got a little carried away.

In any case...

Walter! What do you think you're doing?!

Oh, no!

Mom, I wasn't doing anything.

It's 10:00 at night! I won't stand for it!

It was horrible.

Not more than 20 yards from where we stood,

Walter McCafferty was being grounded by his mother,

and there was nothing we could do about it.

Right now, young man... right to bed!

And then... It was over.

I don't believe it.

Maybe he'll come back.

He's not coming back.

So, we did what all good troops do

when they lose their leader.

We started whining...

I'm hungry.

You're always hungry, Doug.

Which turned into bickering.

Leave him alone. This isn't his fault.

No, it's your fault for doing that stupid signal.

Hey, look, we wouldn't even be here

if you hadn't dropped the beer.

Yeah? Well, for your information,

I didn't even want to come on this stupid trip.

That's obvious.

That's why you sabotaged the beer.

What are we gonna do?

How should I know?

We were near total meltdown,

and there was no one to save us.

And then... It happened.

What are we gonna do?

I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna go.

And we're gonna keep going.

We're gonna get to Donna Pescarelli's house,

not because we have to or even because we want to...

But because...

well...

[ Dog barking in distance ]

Walter would have wanted it that way.

The funny thing is,

he didn't sneeze once.

Come on. Let's move out.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Let's go!

Wait for me!

I'm not sure how long we walked.

Maybe days, maybe hours...

Maybe about 15 minutes.

All I knew was we weren't the same bright-eyed kids

who'd started out all those hours ago that autumn night.

We were veterans.

We'd seen the worst, and we'd survived.

And now...

[ Young women talking indistinctly ]

I think we're here.

[ Giggling ]

Definitely!

We made it.

I got to rest.

You guys wait here. I'll go scout it out.

They say that soldiers are never so close

as on the Eve of battle.

While standing there with Paul, waiting for the signal,

I could feel that closeness.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Hey, Paul, look...

Sorry about what I said back there.

Hey.

The "wuss" stuff, you know.

Forget about it.

So...

We're really going in there.

Mmhmm.

I'm scared.

What are you scared about?

And then Paul said something I'll never forget.

Kev?

I'm a virgin.

It was possibly the deepest secret

Paul had ever revealed to me.

And I knew I had to say something to reassure him.

Yeah, well...

Y-you know, a lot... a lot of guys are.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Doug, let's go.

[ Snoring ]

Doug?

The events of battle are never quite clear.

Smoke obscures the battlefield.

Things get confused.

Go ahead. Knock on the window.

Only later do historians sort out the facts.

It's enough to say that that night... We met the enemy

face to face.

Who is it?

It's just a bunch of ninth-graders.

[ Door closes ] And the rest...

Who's out there?!

Is history.

The old man! Scatter!

But it was an honorable retreat.

In some way we couldn't exactly express,

we'd accomplished our mission.

We'd done what we had to do.

[ Indistinct shouting in distance ]

By the time we got back together,

our adventure had become an epic.

Babes!

Oh, my God, and the father was at least 300 pounds!

And he had a shotgun. I swear he had a shotgun.

We were entitled to a little exaggeration.

Every soldier is.

After all, if growing up is war,

then those friends who grew up with you

deserve a special respect...

the ones who stuck by you, shoulder-to-shoulder,

in a time when nothing was certain...

When all life lay ahead...

And every road led home.