All language subtitles for Saturday.Night.Live.S14E19.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-M29_4_text1

Okay, everyone,
as soon as you
are finished voting,

drop your ballots
in this box, eh?

That’s right.
Bueno. Bueno.

Right this way.
Sí. Sí.

Vote here.
Vote here.

That’s right.
That’s right.

Take your time.
No rush. No rush.

Choose
the best candidate.

Hi, everybody.
Hi, everybody.

How y’all doing?
How y’all doing?

I’m just stopping by,

making sure
everything’s in order.

Just, uh, hitting
every polling place,

making sure, everybody.

Just go on
with your business.

Just act like
I’m not even here.

How you doin’?
You look very nice.

How are you?

Just making sure --
How you doin’?

-- the democratic process
is being protected.

It’s our sacred duty,
so don’t mind me.

I smell chicken.

Uh, excuse me!
Excuse me!

What is going on
down here?

This is highly
irregular.

Will someone explain
this to me, please?

- Pipe down!
- I will not pipe down!

You are using ballots
to cook chicken.

Well, don’t you know
who I am?

Yeah, yeah,
you’re Carter,

the big failure
from the ’70s.

Señor Malaise.

Yeah,
the hostage crisis.

( laughing )

I can’t permit you
to do this.

What are you going to do,
boycott our Olympics?

El hombre attacko
el conejo.

Oh!

What’d he say?
What’d he say?

He call you the man
the rabbit attacked.

Listen, I am
an official observer

sent by the President
of the United States,

and I have a note here.

I have a note here,
I’ll have you know,

signed by George Bush,

and it gives me the power
to observe and report

anything I see down here,
anything --

Give me that back!
Come on, now, give me that back!

That’s mine!
The president...

Come on, now!
I don’t like this.

That’s it!
That’s it!

All right, all right,
you’ve done it.

You’ve done it.
Okay, I’ll write your name down.

I’ll write your name down.
I see right there

on your nametag, Rosario.

I’m gonna get my government
behind me

and make sure that you
are tried for election fraud

and see that you,
my friend,

are in prison right now
and right here.

( cocks rifle )

Yeah, well, I --
I have an appointment.

I’ll just, uh,
I’ll keep in touch.

- ( scuffling )
- No, no, no!
Hey, I didn’t mean it!

Oh, ho, hey! Easy now!
Come on, now, don’t do that!

Don’t do that!
Oh, hey, hey!

Oh, please!
Please don’t make me go --

Oh! Ooh, hey,
don’t do that!

Whoa! Whoa!

Live from New York,
it’s Saturday night!

ANNOUNCER:
It’sSaturday Night Live!

With Dana Carvey,
Nora Dunn,

Phil Hartman,
Jan Hooks...

Victoria Jackson,

Jon Lovitz,

Dennis Miller,

and Kevin Nealon.

And featuring
Al Franken,

Mike Myers...

G.E. Smith and theSaturday
Night Live band...

musical guest
Fine Young Cannibals...

and starring
Wayne Gretzsky!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Wayne Gretzsky!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

It’s great to be here.

But, you know,
before we begin,

there’s something
I better tell you.

I’m not really much
of a performer.

I’m not an actor,

I can’t sing,

and I can’t dance.

The fact is I was asked
to host the show tonight

basically because
I’m a good hockey player.

It’s true.

All right, then.

It’s true.
That’s why they asked me.

It was the hockey.

I sort of suspected it
for a while,

but then last night
one of the producers was drunk,

and he kind of
blurted it out.

Well, I wanted to know
where I stood,

so I asked
the other guys,

"Do you think
I have any talent

as a comic actor?"

and they said,
"No, Wayne, we don’t,

but we love the way
you play hockey."

Now, when I heard that,
my first reaction was denial.

"They’re just jealous."

Then, later
last night, anger.

I was tricked.

But, finally,
early this morning,

anger gave way
to acceptance.

I was able
to accept the fact

that, as a hockey player,
I’m pretty good...

but as an actor,
I’m a hockey player.

But that’s okay
because there are lots

of other funny actors
on the show tonight,

and they’ll be great,

even though
if we played hockey,

I’d just cream them.

Anyway, we’ve got
Fine Young Cannibals...

so stick around,
and we’ll be right back.

Sometimes it seems
no matter how hard you scrub,

no matter how hard
you clean,

you just can’t rid
you home of...

Ohh...

...sewer rats!

Who needs it?

Not you, not anymore,
not with Sleepytime Rat Control.

Sleepytime?
How does it work?

It’s not a poison;
it’s not a trap.

It’s a powerful sedative
that puts rats to sleep.

( echoing )
Deep sleep.

Six full hours
of sleep.

And a sleeping rat,
while admittedly not ideal,

is a whole lot better
than a wide-awake rat.

BOTH: Mm-hmm!

So why live
with this...

when you can
have this?

That’s more
like it.

Sleepytime.

You’ll sleep better
knowing they’re sleeping.

Sleepytime Rat Control.

For deep sleep.

The following program
is brought to you

but a grant
from the Chubb Group.

Hello, and welcome
to The Anal-Retentive Sportsman.

I’m Gene,
and today we’re fishing

in the beautiful waters
off of Montauk Point,

and joining me is celebrity
sportsman Wayne Gretzky.

Hello, Wayne.

Hello, Gene.
Great day to fish,
isn’t it?

It’s a perfect day,
and what will we

be fishing for
today, Wayne?

The Montauk bluefish.

That’s right, so let’s
get started, shall we?

Now, if you’re using
live bait,

here’s what you’ll need
for a day’s fishing:

38 medium shrimp,

eight pounds of mackerel
cut into two-ounce cubes,

and two dozen mullet
exactly 6 1/4 inches long.

It’s the perfect size
for our needs,

so don’t be afraid
to take a tape measure

to the bait shop.
Now, Wayne,

what do you feel like
starting with today?

Let’s go
with the mullet, Gene.

I’ve had
good luck with that.

All right, so let’s go
to our bait caddy,

and we look under "mullet,"
and here we are.

Thanks, Gene.

Now, do you see
what we’ve done here?

I’ve attached
a pre-moistened towelette

to the edge
of the bait bag

so that when Wayne
is through baiting his hook,

he can clean his hands --
there we are.

And then the towelette
and the foil packet

can go back
into the bag.

We seal it and we file
it under "T" for trash.

There. Isn’t that nice?

I think so.

You know, the key to landing
a Montauk bluefish

is proper bait organization,
but we know that, don’t we?

By the way, Wayne,
do you know why they call it

a Montauk bluefish?

Because it’s blue?

That’s right, Wayne!

And, guess what,
that’s what I’ve prepared

for our lunch today,
a bluefish fillet.

Now, doesn’t this
look nice

on a teal
or an aubergine plate?

We have our fillet,
a trio of lemon wedges,

and a carrot rose.
Beautiful.

Hey, Gene, I think
I’m getting a nibble.

Whoa, this feels
like the big one!

Well, they must
be biting,

so let’s get down
to business.

Now, I’ll just lean
my fishing rod

against our outboard
motor cozy --

and isn’t that
a nice idea?

We don’t scratch
the finish,

and we don’t
have to look

at that dirty old motor
when it’s not in use.

All right, let’s open
our fishing tackle box now.

And how do we organize
our tackle box?

Well, we do it
from left to right

in alphabetical order
according to size

and frequency of use.

Now, I’m opting
for an artificial lure

which I made myself.

I built it around this
treble-hook-spoon type lure,

and, as you can see,
I’ve added

some little trinkets
from a charm bracelet here

because fish like
shiny things, and don’t we all!

We have
a dancing couple here,

and they’re dancing
to our little orchestra.

You can see we have
an accordion

and a little saxophone
and a French horn,

and The Spirit
of St. Louis,

which really doesn’t have
anything to do with music,

so let’s take
that right off.

Whoa, look at
this monster!

Gene, get the net!
Get the net!

Okay, Wayne
has a bite.

There’s the net.

Well, then, it’s time
to get out our wax paper...

- Gene!
- ...and our masking tape.

- Gene!
- Because we don’t
want our catch

rubbing up against
our cooler, now, do we?

That wouldn’t
be very good.

Now, I didn’t bring along
the masking tape dispenser...

- Gene! Gene!
- ...because we’re
roughing it today,

but that’s okay
because as you can see,

I fold it over,
the tape here,

and that way it’s easy
to start time after time.

You know, some people
just tear the tape off

without making a tab, and then
you have to dig and dig...

ANNOUNCER: This has been...

This has been
a pretty strange year for me.

After playing
all my life in Canada

where hockey
is the national sport,

I was traded
to the Los Angeles Kings.

Now, the fans in Los Angeles
are real enthusiastic,

but they’re still
learning the game.

It’s very different --

not worse,
it’s just very different.

- Wayne, Wayne!
- Oh, hi, Bruce.

Hey, sorry about
the loss, but, you know,

another sellout!

Oh, great.

Listen, Wayne,
I know you’re tired,

but we got some big fans
who really want to say hi.

You mind?

Gee, I’d really like
to kind of leave, Bruce.

It’ll only take
a few minutes, Wayne.

- I’d really appreciate it.
- Well, okay.

Hey, don’t obsess
about this loss!

Come on. Sly?
Hey, Sly?

Yeah. Hey.

How you doin’?

Hi.

Hey, Wayne, sorry about
the loss tonight,

but you know they say --
no pain, no gain.

Uh-huh.

Well, listen,
I hope I’m not being
presumptuous or nothing,

but John Travolta and I
had some ideas...

that is, if you don’t mind
us talking hockey with you.

- Oh, gee, I just --
- Yo, John! Get in here.

It’s all right?
Great!

Hey, Wayne! Wayne!
Like, how you doing here?

How you doing here?
Yeah. This is so great.

This is so great, man,
I can’t stand this.

So, like, Sly and I
were watching.

It just seems like, you know,
that you could skate,

- you know, you could skate...
- Faster.

Yeah, faster, you know,
very much faster.

You know, like,
you could get,

like, three guys just
to skate down the ice,

like, super fast,
you know.

’Cause, you know, imagine,
like, if you were the goalie

and, like, three guys
were coming right at you.

It’d be so weird,
so weird.

You know, like, three guys
coming right at you,

just, like, super fast.

Yeah.

We’re just
throwing this out.

Yeah, we’re just, like,
giving you the basic idea
right now here.

Yeah.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Wayne, I’m Ed Begley, Jr.,
from St. Elsewhere,

and I just want
to congratulate you

- on some super hockey, and...
- Thanks.

It’s too bad
the way the game turned out.

Just one quick thought.

I just thought
that your team should’ve

passed the puck
over the blue line
a little bit more.

Really? That’s
so weird,

’cause I kind of thought
they should pass it

- over the red line more.
- Yeah, red line. Now beat it!

Oh!

Hey, John, tell him
our other idea.

Well, yeah, it’s just,
you know, like, okay.

Here, I just put
some ideas here.

I don’t even know
what I was doing,

but look at here, okay.

It just seems like,
you know, the goalie

could use
a bigger stick, you know,

a bigger stick,
more like a board,

you know, a board that could
cover the whole goal.

Then, like, the goalie
could, like, be inside the net.

You could get, like,
a midget or something in there.

He could, like, hold
the board from the inside

and they could shoot
all they want,

but there’d be
no board there.

They could never score.
It’d be impossible.

It’d be, like,
really weird.

You know, I’m not
a very good drawer, but...

Wayne, Wayne,
this is Tina Yothers
from Family Ties.

How do you do?

Hey, Tina had
a good idea.

Oh, is it okay?

Yes, fine. Yes.

Well, I just thought
that, you know,

why don’t you guys
make a circle

around the other team’s
best player?

Yeah, smart girl!

Yeah, you could, like,
all that the Tina Play.

Excuse me, Tina, fellas,

just wanted to say a word
to the captain.

Great One, I don’t know much
about your country,

and I don’t care much
for your sport.

I find it brutal,
ungraceful,

and difficult
to follow.

But I did happen to catch
tonight’s game on the tube,

and I did happen
to come up with an idea --

giant board
for the goalie.

Little midget
holds it up.

Just seems to me that way
you got the whole net covered.

Just throwing it out.

Just there
for your approval.

Bye, see you all later.

That’s the same idea,
same idea.

It’s like we’re E.T.
or something here.

SLY: Yeah,
it’s spooky.

Wayne,
George Hamilton.

Delighted to meet you,
delighted.

It was a marvelously
entertaining game,

marvelous.

This, of course,
is Miss Bette Davis.

Sit down,
men, sit down.

Hello, Raymond,
how are you?

My name is Wayne.

Well, I know that,
but I’m calling you Raymond.

GEORGE: ( laughs )
What a --

At my age, I can call you
anything I want!

What a delightful
grande dame she is!

Well, Raymond, I’ve just
come from a hockey game.

Why must they play
in such a miserably
cold building?

( laughs ) I have no comment
other than encore, more.

And why must the game
start so late, Raymond?

You know, looking
at you it occurred to me

if I hit you
as hard as I could,

your head would probably
turn to dust.

It’d be like hitting
a mummy’s head.

Excuse me, has anybody
seen Howie Mandel?

- HOWIE: What? What? What?
- He’s right over --

It’s like, you know,
on the power play,

you should’ve,
you know, what? What?

You know? What?

Great, thanks.

So, Wayne, you know,
Wayne, I was just

thinking while I was
standing here,

what if instead
of skates, you know,
you wore cleats?

Then you wouldn’t have
to be so much slipping

and sliding
all over the place.

I like it!

I do.

Hello, everyone.

Wayne, I was just
watching the game --

Sly, what are you
doing here?

Oh, my God,
it’s Brigitte!

Hey, I thought
we agreed

I go to Kings games,

you go
to Laker games.

You can’t tell me
which games I could go to!

You really enjoy
hurting me.

Oh, man!

Okay, could we
have some privacy,
please, everybody?

Hey, Wayne.
Come on. Come on, Wayne.

They really gotta
talk about this.

It’s really
important.

Yes, young love must be
allowed to blossom!

Bruce, Bruce, could we
please go home?

It’ll just be
a few more minutes.

Is everybody comfy?

Can I get
anybody anything?

I would like
a drink.

Here’s a tray.

I would like
a drink.

Raymond, are you
a Libra?

Walter Huston
was a Libra.

He would always remind you
of your shortcomings.

ED:
Howie?

Now, I should’ve...

( Canadian national anthem
playing )

And now, "Weekend Update"

with anchorperson
Dennis Miller!

Thank you, good evening,
and what can I tell ya?

On Thursday
President Bush announced

he was sending
2,000 additional troops

into Panama to protect the lives
of American citizens there.

I don’t know, I hope
somewhere in that 2,000

there’s a national guard unit
from Indiana, huh?

It’d be nice to see Danny
guarding a canal

instead of hitting
a T-shot over one, right?

Bush said this is part
of a two-pronged policy --

one, to ensure a stabilizing
presence in Panama,

and, two, to cut off
Noriega’s Retin-A

and Minoxidil shipments.

Noriega, seen here

skinny-dipping
at a Panamanian beach,

could not be reached
for comment.

A group
of conservative supporters

is pushing a plan
to add Ronald Reagan’s head

to the Mt. Rushmore
National Memorial

in South Dakota.

One possible hang-up
to the plan

is that artists
and mineralogists

are not sure if granite
is a dense enough material

to accurately portray
the former president’s head.

MYSTICAL VOICE:
If you build it,
he will come.

*

President Bush
was pronounced

in extremely sound
physical condition this week

after a routine physical
turned up no surprises.

Here we see the president
answering reporters

when they asked him
which test he liked the least.

MYSTICAL VOICE:
If you build it,
he will come.

*

What the hell?

Every vice president’s wife

has to take up
some meaningful cause,

and Marilyn Quayle
has already opted

to work hand-in-hand
with the National Park Service.

Some of her touches
are already being seen

on some of the wildlife
that roam

through our nation’s forests
and mountains.

You know,
not too long ago,

it was announced
that due to an increase...

MYSTICAL VOICE:
If you build it,
he will come.

*

You know, I graduated
from college in 1975.

In 1978, I moved
to New York

and tried stand-up comedy
for a year.

I went back to Pittsburgh.

I worked in local TV
for a couple of years.

I moved to L.A. and eventually
I got on Saturday Night Live,

and here I am today,
the "Weekend Update"
news anchor.

Up until this point,
until I heard the voice...

I’d never done anything crazy
in my whole life.

But, folks, I gotta
build that damn field.

( hammering )

*

( electricity zaps )

You know, what I have
just done here

is completely illogical.

Soviet president
Mikhail Gorbachev

put political pressure
on the United States this week

after announcing yet another
unilateral military cut,

this time
in short-range nuclear weapons.

President Bush announced
that he views Gorbachev’s

latest arms gambit
with skepticism,

saying, quote, "He’s just
doing it to get chicks."

C. Everett Koop
announced he’s resigning
as surgeon general

and plans to write
his autobiography,

which will be a don’t-kiss-
and-tell entitled Koop O.

The surgeon general then
said that effective July 13th

he’ll be represented
by the William Morris Agency

in the field
of literary properties,

broadcasting,
lectures, and films.

Koop also announced
that as far as medicine goes,

he’ll heretofore
be represented

by Reuben Kincaid
of The Partridge Family.

The Air Force revealed
its new confetti missile.

This weapon will replace
the piñata missile

sometime next year.

The rock group The Who this week
announced upcoming dates

for their 1989
25th anniversary tour.

The Who, who are getting
up there in years,

had to change
some of their lyrics.

One specific
will now read,

"Hope I die
before I get oldest."

You know, my theory is
that Morton Downey, Jr.,

always had
a swastika on his face;

it’s just the first time
we’ve seen him without makeup.

The Venus probe
was launched last week

from the Kennedy Space Center
in Florida,

and it is expected to take
15 months to reach Venus.

It could’ve gotten
there sooner,

but, as you know,
all flights out of Florida

have to hook up
with a connecting probe
at the Atlanta Airport.

And now, with a new
"Update" feature

called Al Franken’s
New Ideas,

here is Al Franken.

- Hi, Al.
- Hi, Dennis, thank you.

Thank you.

You know, uh...

Al, I’m sorry
about the ball field.

I hope it doesn’t
get in your way.

What --
what ball field?

You don’t see
that ball field?

No.

*

Thanks again, Dennis.

You know, Gary Hart
ran for president

in 1984 and 1988
on a platform

of new ideas.

Unfortunately,
his candidacy self-destructed

when he had one
of man’s oldest ideas.

But it’s time for someone

to pick up the mantle
of new ideas,

and that person
is me, Al Franken.

Tonight, a new idea
which addresses

two concerns of mine
in the nation:

the high cost
of manned space exploration,

and euthanasia,

the right of the individual
to die with dignity.

Think of how much
NASA spends

trying to take the risk
out of manned space flight.

Imagine the savings
to NASA and the country

if we could simply hurl
terminally-ill volunteers

into space without regard
to their safety.

How much of the cost
of our manned space vehicles

is spent simply
on making sure

that the things
get back to Earth?

And what more dignified
way to die

than by adding
to man’s body of knowledge.

For example,
would aluminum foil alone

protect a human being
during a spacewalk?

Or...

or would he cook
like a baked potato?

And what would
that look like?

I’m sure a pay-per-view
cable audience

would like to know.

We’ve got
a national debt, folks.

Now, how would you
rather die --

in a hospital bed
with tubes stuck up your nose,

or watching
the Earth recede

as you take part
in man’s great adventure?

How far could a man
propel himself in space

with just
a fire extinguisher?

Let’s -- let’s see!

Would an old Plymouth Valiant
make a good space capsule?

Let’s find out.

And how close
to the sun’s surface

can a man get
before he bursts into flame?

How about a fat person?

Would it make
a difference?

I say we’ll never know
until we try.

Thank you,
I’m Al Franken.

( indistinct )

The British
journal Naturethis week

reports the discovery
of a 60,000-year-old

two-inch neck bone
in a cave in Israel,

and suggests that modern man’s
brutish predecessor,

the Neanderthal man,

may have had the physical
capacity to speak.

The Journalalso
concluded, though,

that he probably
had nothing to say.

You know, Sting’s
been in town this week

talking about
the ecological problems

with the Brazilian
rainforest.

He was photographed
yesterday

with this Brazilian
Indian tribesman.

You know, I saw this guy
later last night at Nell’s,

and he seemed
to be doing pretty well

with the European women.

A self-portrait of Picasso
sold for $47.9 million

at Sotheby’s this week.

The painting,
entitled Yo Picasso

was bought by actor
Sylvester Stallone,

who hopes to turn
the property

into a movie
by next summer.

According to Atlanta Falcons
offensive lineman Bill Fralic,

who appeared before
a Senate committee this week

on the use of steroids
in professional sports,

many participants
in the NFL

are using steroids
at this point.

Ooh-ooh, there’s
a surprise, huh?

I thought it was normal
to have an 87-inch neck.

I thought I
was the freak.

And Aunt Jemima’s
100 years old this year,

and in an effort
to update the image,

the old logo
was done away with

and a new logo,
Axel Jemima is being used...

as part of their
Guns ’N’ Flapjack campaign.

Guess what, folks,
that’s the season,

and I am out.

Hello, I am
Penny LeBlanc,

and if you have
a problem or a question,

or you just want
someone to talk to,

pick up the phone,

because we’re taking calls
right now on Point Blank!

Hello, and welcome
to Point Blank.

We have an exciting show
tonight because

our guest is National
Hockey League superstar
Wayne Gretzky!

Yay.

It’s great to have
you here, Wayne.

I know the viewers
are gonna have

a lot of questions
for you.

Well, it’s a pleasure
to be here.

Oh, I see
the phones lighting up,

so let’s get right
to the calls.

Okay! Point Blank.
You’re on the air.

WOMAN: Yes, hello, Penny.

I have to talk
to somebody about this.

I just don’t
know what to do.

Well, Wayne
and I are here,
so go right ahead.

I work
in a marketing firm.

I’ve been here ten years,
and I can’t get a promotion.

The firm is male-dominated,

and I know the reason
I’m not moving up

on the ladder
is because I’m a woman.

- I don’t know what to do!
- Uh-huh.

I’m afraid
to make waves.

I just don’t want
to risk my job,

but I just can’t
stand it anymore!

Uh-huh.

Well, what do you
think I should do?

Well, you’ve got
a big problem there,

and, I gotta tell you,

I don’t know.

Wayne, you’re at the top
of your profession.

How did you get there?

Well, hockey is different
from marketing.

It’s more of a sport.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I practice a lot,
and my father coached me,

and that helped.

Do you think that
if you practiced

a little more
that would help?

No, I don’t.

Could your father
coach you?

Well, no.

Well, I don’t know,
but thanks for calling.

Okay, next call!
Point Blank,you’re on the air.

MAN: Uh, yes, my son’s
going through a messy divorce,

and now my daughter-in-law
is refusing

to let me or my wife
see our own grandchildren.

Don’t grandparents have
any legal rights in a divorce?

Uh, Wayne, why don’t
you field this one?

Look, I’m a hockey player,
not a lawyer. I don’t know.

Well, thank you for calling,
and good luck!

Point Blank,
you’re on the air.

- WOMAN: Penny...
- Yes?

I just love
your show.

Thank you.

You can have Phil
and Oprah.

Your show is like
a breath of fresh air.

I just love to stand
in front of my TV

and watch your show
and do my ironing.

It’s so relaxing!

Thank you.
Keep watching.

I just love
your show.

Wayne, why don’t you
take the next call?

All right. Hello, Point Blank.
You’re on the air.

WOMAN: Wayne? Listen,
my son’s a hockey player,

and he’s quite good.

And I’ve got
this question.

Every time I drink something
very hot or very cold --

it doesn’t matter,
hot or cold --

I get this shooting pain
right through my tooth

and into my jaw.
Oh, it hurts, Wayne!

What do you think it is?

I don’t know, but I would
go see a dentist about it.

Wayne, that was
really good advice!

You know what...

Yeah.

Let’s take a break
from our calls

and let’s get
to know our guest
a little better!

- Are you married?
- Yes, I am.

- Where do you live?
- California!

The Sunshine State,
hooray!

If you have questions
about California,

you can call in.
We have an expert here!

Wayne Gretzky,
expert on California!

No, I just moved
from Canada.

I really don’t know
much about California.

Okay, let’s take
another call!

Point Blank.
You’re on the air!

( feedback )

Turn down
your set, please.

Turn it down!
Thank you.

MAN: Wow, what causes that?

I don’t know.

Do you have a question?

Yeah. How do I get
tickets to your show?

Hmm. I’m not sure.

Should I call
the station?

That’s a good idea.

Well, who would
I talk to?

Well...

I don’t know,

but thanks
for calling.

Okay. Oh, another call.

Point Blank.
You’re on the air.

MAN: Yeah, um, when you see
a package of food

already open
in the grocery store,

can you eat it
without paying for it?

Gee.

Gee, I don’t
know, Wayne.

I wouldn’t.

Okay. Well...

Oh, we only have time
for one more call.

Okay, hello.
You’re on the air.

MAN: Wayne,
I just wanna say

you’re one heck
of a hockey player.

You’re the world’s best.

Thank you.

My question is
how did you get on the show?

I don’t know.

I could find out.

Okay, we have to go.

Let’s see
if we can squeeze
in a few questions

from our studio
audience before --
Yes, young man!

Wayne, what’s the name
of those little yellow flowers

that grow along
the side of the road
in Canada?

I don’t know.

You? You have
a question?

Thank you very much.

I had a great time tonight.

Happy Mother’s Day.