All language subtitles for Saturday.Night.Live.S14E16.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-M29_4_text1

Raymond?
Your friend is here
to see you.

Yeah, yeah.
It’s definitely 3:30,
yeah.

Yeah, yeah.
Definitely time
to see my friend.

Definitely 3:30.
You can come in now.

Hi, Raymond!
Yeah.

It’s me, Pete.
Yeah, yeah, Pete.
Yeah, Pete Rose.

Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, yeah,
Pete Rose, yeah.

Yeah, definitely
Pete Rose, definitely
Charlie Hustle, 3:30.

Right, right, great.
All right, Raymond,
here’s your cheese balls.

Now, what’ve you got
for me on opening day?
Yeah.

Yeah,
definitely.

Okay.
Yeah, yeah,
opening day,

Kansas City,
opening day.
Yeah, yeah.

You’re up against
a left-hander on
artificial turf, yeah.

Yeah, 21
and nine last year

against left-handers
on artificial turf,
yeah.

You sure?
Yeah, I’m sure,
yeah.

Yeah, course--
course, I’m an
excellent driver.

Good, good.
Okay, Raymond,
what else you got?

Yeah, definitely--
definitely San Diego Padres
over Cincinnati.

Yeah, Cincinnati.
Yeah, definitely,

Padres are a very
strong road team.

52 and 29 last year
on the road, yeah.

Yeah, Padres over--
over Cincinnati.

Hmm...
that’s okay, Raymond.

I can’t bet against
my own team.

They’d ban me
from baseball forever.

Yeah,
it’s a sure-- sure thing.
Padres over Cincinnati.

Yeah, sure thing.
Definitely, definitely.

Definitely?
Yeah, definitely Padres
over Cincinnati.

Sure thing, yeah.
Yeah, d-- don’t
wuss out, yeah.

Yeah, def--
definitely
a sure thing.

Okay, maybe I’ll
just lay down a grand
on that one.

Yeah, smart bet,
Charlie Hustle.
Smart man.

Course-- course,
it’s against the rules
of baseball.

Yeah, violation
of Major League
Baseball rules.

Section two,
article four--

All right,
all right, all right.
Look, Raymond--

there’ve been some leaks
to the press about
my gambling,

and if people found out
about it, it would be very,
very bad.

Now, you haven’t spoken
to anyone about this,
have you?

Uh-oh.

What’s that?
What’s--?
Uh-oh.

Well, what do you mean?
You spoke to someone?
Yeah.

You told them
I’ve been gambling?
Yeah.

Raymond, no!
Yeah, yeah,
definitely gotta
watch Wapner.

Definitely Wapner, yeah.

Definitely
Judge Wapner, yeah.

Raymond, who--
who’d you talk to?

Yeah,
Sports Illustrated.
Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, def-- definitely
Sports Illustrated.

March 27th, 1989 issue,
page 13, column three--

quote, "An unnamed
source said that Rose
had definitely bet

"on exactly 562
baseball games,
and earned $61,405

and 31 cents."
Definitely 31 cents.

Oh, God.
Who else?

Baseball Commissioner
Pete Uberroth, yeah.

Wha--?
Yeah, had to tell him.
Had to tell Uberroth.

Raymond, no!
Who else?
Who else?

Yeah, Cooperstown
Hall of Fame Committee,
yeah.

Yeah, Hall of Fame
Committee, Cooperstown,
New York.

They weren’t happy.
Definitely let down.

Raymond, you idiot moron!
You ruined my whole career.

Damn you and your
stupid cheese balls!

Yeah, definitely
87 cheese balls, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, 87.
Definitely 87.

Raymond, I oughta
murder you for this.
Ow, ow, ow!

Raymond!
Raymond.

Uh-oh, uh-oh,
uh-oh!

Charlie Babbit’s here.
Charlie Babbit.

What is this?
You can’t touch my brother.
This is-- he’s my brother.

Just stay the hell
out of this, Babbit.

Yeah, Charlie Babbit’s here.
Charlie Babbit’s my brother.

Charlie Hustle’s
my friend, yeah.

Look, who is this guy?
He’s my brother, all right?

I-- I went on the road
with him.

We-- we went to Vegas,
all right?

All right,
he counted cards for me.

He’s grown more in the week
he spent with me

than in all the years
he’s been in here!

Hey, listen, Babbit,
he’s grown more
in the past year

helpin’ me bet
on baseball games

than he did the week
countin’ cards with you!

Actually,
you’re both wrong.

He’s grown more in the past
eight years speculating
on gold futures for me

than in the time he’s spent
with either one of you.

This is-- this is--
look, Raymond, Raymond--

just tell ’em
who you wanna
be with, Raymond.

Yeah, tell ’em,
Raymond.
Go ahead,
Raymond.

Well, what’s on first,
who’s on second, yeah.

You know
what to say.
Come on,
Ray, just--

Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Yeah.

Yeah,
live from New York,

it’s definitely
Saturday Night.

*

It’sSaturday Night Live!

With Dana Carvey...

Nora Dunn...

Phil Hartman...

Jan Hooks...

Victoria Jackson...

Jon Lovitz...

Dennis Miller...

and Kevin Nealon.

And featuring
Al Franken...

Ben Stiller...

G.E. Smith and the Saturday
Night Live Band.

Musical guest
Living Colour.

And starring
Mel Gibson.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Mel Gibson!

( music ends )

( applause, cheers )

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much for that.
It’s great to be here.

Well, actually, it’s kind
of weird to be here.

I’m not really
accustomed to doing TV.

Uh, see, basically,
I’m, um, a movie star.
And, uh...

But that’s a great job,
though, you know?

You travel
around the world,

you work
with beautiful women,
you drive fast cars,

and they pay you
ridiculous amounts
of money.

And this
is the good bit--

this part will
really kill you--

I don’t have to work
very hard.

And it’s fun.
I do my own stunts.

If you see my character
jump from a building,
hey, that’s me.

And when you see me land,
that’s-- that’s the stunt man.
Yeah.

Now, before I was
a movie star,

I had other jobs, you know--
low-paying, menial jobs.

And I can tell you
the best job I ever had

was being a professional
movie star.

Because, as a movie star,
I get paid a ridiculous
amount of money

and I don’t have
to work that hard.

So...
to sum it all up,

being a movie star--
high reward, low effort.

Now, for this show,
I’m getting paid next
to nothing,

and it’s been a tremendous
amount of hard work,

so right away I know
I don’t like television.

And, as I stand here,
I realize that in a live
broadcast like this,

something could go
terribly wrong,

and I could end up
alienating millions
of movie-going patrons.

Basically, hosting
Saturday Night Live
is, for me--

high risk, low reward.

As opposed to movies,
which is, once again,
high reward, low effort.

And you may be wondering
why I would jeopardize all
that I’ve worked for.

Well, actually,
it’s just fallen
into my lap.

Uh-- is it because I want
to stretch as an actor?

No, no, no,
that would be work.

Is it because
I really love comedy?

Well, no,
not particularly.

So, why did I agree
to host this show?

Because sometimes
I just don’t think
things through.

I mean, if someone calls
and says, "Hey, you wanna
host Saturday Night Live?"

I think, "Sure"
without even considering

the potentially disastrous
effect on my real job--

uh, movie star.

So, if tonight I should
appear inadequate, ordinary,
not larger-than-life,

or, which is worse,
un-movie-star-like,
just say to yourself,

"Hey, he might not be
a great TV star,

but I just can’t wait
to see him in
Lethal Weapon 6."

Well, we’ve got
a great show tonight.

Danny Glover is here.
How’s that?
He is.

( cheers, applause )

And I can tell you,
because I talked to him,

that he feels pretty much
the way I do about all this.

Living Colour is here.
Hey.
( cheers )

So, stick around.
We’ll be right back.

Tales of Ribaldry.

Tonight-- "The Woodsman
and the Lady."

Hello, and welcome
to Tales of Ribaldry.

I’m your host,
Evelyn Quince.

Tonight, I would like
to share with you
a naughty tale

of a lusty woodsman
and a wanton lady,

and possibly
a cuckolded husband.

Oh, it’s high ribaldry
at its best!

And it’s about to start.
Let’s watch.

Excuse me,
Lady Cicily.

I’ve finished
chopping the wood,

and if there won’t
be anything else,

I’d like to go back
to my cabin and take
a cold bath.

You see, a vigorous
wood chopping

always makes me feel hot
and sweaty and bit randy.

Please, Woodsman,
come in.

You see, my husband
is in town and will be
gone for several hours.

I’m quite alone.

There’s a few things
you could... do for me.

Oh, my.

Our little story is
unfolding quite nicely.

A handsome woodsman,
and a beautiful lady,

with the husband
conveniently in town.

Perhaps at
the haberdashery,

being fitted for
the cuckold’s horns?
Yes!

Woodsman, could you
open the window?

It’s suddenly very hot
in here, and I need a breeze.

Certainly, my lady.

There you are,
my lady.

Woodsman,
you’ve ripped your shirt.

Oh!
My face is crimson.

( giggles )
It appears we’re having
a bawdy fest tonight.

Hmm...
narrow in the waist,
broad in the shoulders.

Much larger
than my husband’s.

You’ll never fit
any of his shirts.

Not to worry, my lady.
I’ll just put on my coat.

Oh, Woodsman,
would you mind helping me
move that chest over there?

Certainly not,
my lady.

It’s very heavy.

I’ll help you out,
but first I’ll change into
something more... appropriate.

Oh...!

Is he thinking
what I’m thinking?

Well, it might
have been naughty.
Let’s find out.

Woodsman, you can push
the chest, and I’ll pull.

Oh!
Oh... oh!

Oh, oh, tonight’s tale
is particularly naughty.

Lusty, bawdy,
deliciously risque.

Rather, that is to say--
I’d say bordering on
indecent-- a saucy, randy,

suggestively off-color
tale of ribaldry!

Isn’t it?

I didn’t see a thing,
my lady.

Thank you, Woodsman.

Now, would you help me
light the chandelier?

My lady,
may I be so bold
as to speak freely?

Why, yes.

I mean,
I could help you fix things
around here all night.

And maybe during the course
of the evening, my pants
might fall down.

Or a mysterious draft might
come through that window

and blow your skirt up
over your head,

giving us brief
but titillating glimpses
of one another.

But what are we
waiting for, eh?

I’m a very lusty woodsman,
and you’re a wanton lady.

Hey, let’s just do it, eh?
Let’s just have hot,
passionate sex.

Oh, I’d like
nothing more!

Oh, I don’t like this.

This is becoming
less randy

and more sexually explicit
at every moment.

Our once-bawdy tale
is turning into a tawdry
tale of pornography.

I don’t like it!

No, no, no, no,
we’ll have none of this!

You’ve gone too far.
You’ve ruined it for me!

( sobs )

Well, this tale is over,
but you must admit

this was an especially
ribald tale, wasn’t it?

Join me next week when
a rakish yardsman meets
a lascivious lady

whose husband is
conveniently traveling
in erotic Istanbul.

I’ll trust they behave
themselves.

Until then,
I’m Evelyn Quince.

Goodbye, everybody.
Goodbye.

Sandwiches again?

( monotone voice )
You know we can’t afford
steak on our income.

Why don’t you get
a good-paying job?

You know I’ve been fired
four times

and I can’t get a good job
in this town.

What am I supposed to do?

Why don’t you enter
the Exxon School of
Supertanker Steering?

Yes, now you can earn
good wages

and enter an exciting,
challenging career

in Oil Supertanker
piloting

by enrolling
in The Exxon School

of Supertanker Steering.

You’ll be trained
on the job

by real oil tanker
captains,

and once you’ve
completed the course,

Exxon will help you
in job placement,

so that in as soon
as six months

you could be
behind the wheel

of the largest vehicle
ever built by man.

There’s nothing like
that feeling of power,

sailing these big babies
through exotic waters,

as you earn up to $15
to $20 per hour.

Hi, hon, I’m home.
What’s for dinner?

Sirloin steaks,
dear--

now that you have
graduated

from the Exxon School
of Supertanker Steering.

So, if you think
you’re ready

for an exciting
new career

in the high-paying world
of supertanker steering,

call this number now.

Approved for vets.

*

The following program
is brought to you

by a grant
from the Chubb Group.

Hello and welcome to
The Anal Retentive Chef.

I’m Gene.

Today, we’re going
to be making pepper steak.

Now, you’re going
to need...

one large bell pepper,

three onions exactly
two inches in diameter,

and 17 and a third
ounces of lean beef
cut into 43 pieces.

Okay, let’s get started.

Now, I’ve already cut up
my bell pepper.

Look at this.
Isn’t this nice?

See how all the pieces
are the same size?

People try to tell you that
the secret to pepper steak
is the seasoning,

but we know
different, don’t we?
Uh-huh.

It’s getting all the pieces
the same size.

That’s right.
And that’s what
I’ve done here.

They’re beauti-- uh-oh.
All right, this one’s a little
bigger than the rest,

so we’ll just discard
that one.

And I don’t think
this little wrinkly one
belongs in here.

And this...
well, I just don’t like
the look of that one at all.

All right,
let’s take that out--
as a matter of fact,

why don’t we just start over
and throw this out?

And how do we
throw things out?

Okay, we take our
paper toweling.

Two pieces, unbroken.

Lay it out neatly,
dump the refuse inside,
arrange neatly.

Let’s take these
little nasties
we separated earlier,

put that back,
fold over carefully,

making sure the corners
are square.

And we take a piece
of aluminum foil,

and we place our refuse
onto the foil,

and fold over
very carefully.

This way, it won’t leak
onto the other garbage.

Aluminum foil is such
a miracle product.

It’s really an
extraordinary product.

All right, and then we take
a brown paper sandwich bag...

place the refuse inside,
and...

oh, now, this bag is torn.
Well... no, that’s all right.

We’ll just fold over,
and no one will see.

We’ll fold it over
twice to be careful.

Then we get our tape.

And... we tape it shut,

being very careful to center
the tape on the bag.

I like to keep my tape
dispenser right here
on the counter.

There we go.
All ready for the trash.

Now, there’s some garbage
you can live with.
( chuckles )

All right, I noticed
some of you were admiring
my tape dispenser cozy.

Isn’t that pretty?
I made it myself
out of toothpicks,

felt, plain old buckram,
a couple of pearl buttons,
and some eyelets.

Now, isn’t that better
than looking at an old
tape dispenser?

I think so.
All right.

Let’s set this--
set this over here.

Okay, where were we?
We were going to dice
the bell pepper.

But-- oh, so we’re going
to need our chopping block.

But we can’t put that down
because there’s some water
there from the bell pepper,

so let’s clean that up.

As a matter of fact,

this stovetop could use
a lick and a promise
while we’re at it.

So, how do we clean?
Well, we take our bucket--

but first, let’s remove
the food products.

Because we don’t want to
get any caustic substances
on the food, of course.

Place these neatly
in the background.

This floor will be
cleaned later.

Okay, so,
we’re ready to clean.

And, oh,
we’ve got our glove
to protect us.

Oh, we don’t want
to ruin our manicure.

And we’ve got
a clean white cloth
and abrasive cleanser.

None of that non-abrasive
cleanser for us-- just good
old-fashioned cleanser.

That’ll get us started.
I think I’ll clean these
cabinets while I’m at it.

And-- oh!
Look at this.

Aluminum foil
is filthy.

I’m going to have
to replace that.

So, we might as well
pull that up right now.

I don’t when I
cleaned that up last.
I’d hate to think.

And God knows what those
mopboards look like.

But we start at the top
and clean down,
so as not to drip...

This has been Cooking With
The Anal-Retentive Chef.

*

And now,
Weekend Update

with anchorperson
Dennis Miller.

Well, good evening,
and what can I tell ya?

Aril fool.

It was revealed this week
that Benjamin Quayle,

the 12-year-old son
of Vice President
Dan Quayle,

who attends St. Albans
prep, the poshest school
in the nation’s capital,

found a cockroach
in his chicken nuggets
earlier this week.

Benjamin, who is played
by Saturday Night Live’s
Dana Carvey,

plucked the cockroach
from the nugget and said,
"Isn’t that special?"

So that’s why there’s
two Xs in "Exxon".
They slur their words.

Exxon, uh...

Exxon Valdez Captain
Joseph Hazelwood’s
blood alcohol level

measured 0.61 percent
six hours after his ship
hit a reef

off the coast
of Alaska.

Though this level would
prohibit the Captain from
operating most vehicles,

he is still within
the limit considered
advisable

for a Bush Cabinet
Secretary.

Hazelwood was relieved
of his duties by Exxon
yesterday.

Mr. Hazelwood said
he plans to return
to his former job

driving a cab
in New York City.

And remember, kids,
if you’re gonna go out
drinking with your buddies,

make sure one of them
is the designated
supertanker driver.

The 11-million-gallon
Exxon oil spill

is the biggest
in U.S. history,

but there have been worse
in the world.

Here are the top five
oil spills of all time.

March 16th, 1978,
Amoca Cadiz, France.

68.7 million gallons.

August 6th, 1978,
Castillo de Bellver,
South Africa.

78.5 million gallons.

February 4th, 1983,
Nowruz Oil Field,
Arab Gulf.

80 million gallons.

June 3rd, 1979,
Ixtox, Mexico.
140 million gallons.

And the number one
oil spill of all time--

Jerry Lewis’s hair,
Labor Day 1988,
Caesars Palace.

165 million gallons.

In reaction
to the Exxon oil spill,

those two whales
have returned inland

and are taking
their chances
with the ice.

As you know, we here
at Weekend Update

often call upon prominent
commentators to shed light
on the events of the day.

One of the most distinguished
ones we have is here tonight.

Please welcome Weekend Update
correspondent Al Franken.

Hello, Al.
Hi, Dennis.
Thank you.

Thank you, Dennis.

Uh, actually, I didn’t
expect to be here
on Update tonight,

but on the way to
the studio this afternoon,

I think I left my wallet
in the taxi.

So, if anyone
in New York City
has found my wallet,

please send it to me.

Send it to Al Franken,
care of NBC,

30 Rock, New York,
New York, 10112.
Thank you.

That’s it?

Well, you know,
all my credit cards
are in it,

pictures of my kids--
and I figure, you know,

a lot of people
in New York watch the show,

so on the odd chance that
whoever found the wallet
is-- is watching,

maybe you’ll realize
that most of it is really
only of value to me,

and you’ll send me the wallet.

Just send it to me,
Al Franken, NBC,

30 Rock, New York,
New York, 10112.

Thank you.
Thank you.

No, thank you,
Dennis.

( applause )
Al Franken.

The warring nations
of Iran and Iraq

decided to settle
the whole thing this week

with a huge pillow fight
at the Iraqi-Irani border.

Now, you kids
go to bed!

If I have to
come up there...

( audience laughs )

Sorry.
I’ve been having
these night sweats

since that Rob Lowe
production number
at the Oscars.

( chuckles )

Will I ever be able
to forget?

Wednesday marked the 61st
annual Oscar presentations,
and, uh...

( laughs, applause )

Don’t feel bad
for Felix, though,

because in a few months,
we’ll be having the Tonys.

A disconsolate Glenn Close,
friend of this show,

lost her fifth chance
at the Best Actress Oscar
on Wednesday night,

and in an insane rage,
went backstage

and boiled Roger Rabbit
to death.

In an Oscar aftermath,
Disney’s Snow White is
suing Oscar’s Snow White

for copyright infringement
and unauthorized portrayal.

And in a related story,
Gort, the robot from The Day
The Earth Stood Still,

is suing the Oscar
statue itself.

In a carefully worded
statement, Gort said
"Klaatu varada nikto",

which means
"You like me!
You really like me!"

Here now with commentary
on the Middle East situation

is Weekend Update
correspondent Tommy Flanagan.

Hi, Tommy.
Hello.

Uh, hello.

My name is Tommy Flanagan,
of Pathological Liars
Anonymous.

And, uh, I recently
received a letter
asking where I’ve been.

Well, I’ve been...
I’ve been, uh...

I’ve been very busy.

Yeah, in fact,
just this morning,
I was doing my wash

in-- in--
in Washington, D.C.
Yeah.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.
And I was sittin’ in the
White House--

which I painted.
Yeah.

With my, uh-- with my la--
my do-- my secretary,
Barbara Bush.

Yeah.
Who I’ve seen naked.

Yeah, I’ve seen her
completely naked.
In the buff.

Nude!
And, uh--

and then I got cold,
so I put on a robe.

Yeah.

Then the President himself
walked in, and he asked me,
"What are you doing?"

And I said, "I’m--
I’m-- I’m having
a dangerous liaison."

Yeah, and he said,
"Well, I could use
a liaison myself."

"Yeah, Yasser Arafat,
’cause you’re both members
of the P.L.O.--

yeah-- Pathological
Liars Ononymous."

Then the phone rang,
and it was the unemployment--

I mean, it was the p--
it was Donald Trump.

Yeah.

And he invited me to sail
to Palestine on his yacht...

with his wife Ivana...

who-- who I--
I haven’t seen naked.

But believe me, Ivana.

So, we, uh-- we scooted
on down to Egypt
to pick up Arafat.

And I said, "Yasser?"
He said, "Yessir?"

I said, "Yasser?"
He said, "Stop it."

And then he hit me
in the mouth.

He knocked out
my front tooth.

So-- so that night,
I put it under my pillow,

hopin’ I’d get a dollar
from the Tooth Fairy.

When I woke up in the morning,
I looked under my pillow.

What do you think was there?

Big puddle of drool.
My mouth had been open
all night.

Yeah.
And next to it was
the Tooth Fairy.

Yeah, and she had a dent
in her wing.

Yeah, ’cause, uh, apparently
my tooth still had a little
bit of nerve in it,

and it bit her.
Yeah.

Why, the nerve
of that tooth.

( laughs )

I meant for you to groan.
Yeah.

Anyway, you can-- you can
read all about it in my--
in my new autobiography,

which I wrote under
my pen name, yeah.

Uh... Sean Penn.
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Yeah.

Tommy Flanagan.

Thanks, Tommy.
( applause )

Yeah.
Thanks, Tom.

Don’t make it so long
between visits, Tommy.

Nice to see you again.
Thanks, Dennis.

Philippine President
Cory Aquino changed
her first name this week

because too many horrible
kid actors in Hollywood
are using it.

Uh-- Dennis,
I found it.

It was in
my other coat.
I’m sorry.

Thanks, though.

Got it.

And a shipment
of Cheez Whiz bound
for the Soviet Union

has been found defective,
and the FDA has rec--
what?

( chuckles )
Oh, chess whiz!

I was-- I’m sor--
sorry.

I just go too damn fast
sometimes.

This is the new
international symbol
for "yes".

And it was announced
in Mexico City this week

that Mexico’s President,
Carlos Salinas de Gortari,

has enough room
on his forehead
for another face.

And tonight’s the night we go
to Daylight Savings Time,

so move the expiration date
on your condom ahead one hour.

Guess what, folks?
That’s the news.

*

I’m Colleen Walsh,
and I have a 10:00
appointment with the doctor.

I’m a new patient.

Take a number.

Take a number?
Wow.
Okay.

( phone rings )

Yes?
No, I’m sorry,
the doctor’s booked solid.

No, I wouldn’t advise
just coming and waiting.

No, we never get
a cancellation.

Boy, this doctor’s
busy, huh?

Oh, yeah.
( chuckles )

I hope I don’t have to wait
too long, or I know
I’ll chicken out.

I hate going to
the gynecologist,
don’t you?

Not really.

Uh-- Miss Stevenson?

And now,
another episode

of Mel Gibson:
Dream Gynecologist.

Um, I hope you didn’t
have to wait too long.

Oh, no,
not at all, no.
Come this way.

Oh.

I’d like to book my next
appointment now, please.

That’s a good idea,
Mrs. Scott.

Okay, the doctor
should-- he should
see you in six months--

No.
Next week.

Please, Mrs. Scott.
We go through this
every time.

I need another
breast exam.

You just had one.

I’m extremely
cautious.

Okay, look--
September 4th, 9:00 AM.

Six months.
Take it or leave it.

All right,
all right.

Uh, ladies, I just--
Oh...
Oh.

I just want to say
I’m sorry I’m running
a little late today.

Uh-- it seems I’m
running late every day.

I just didn’t foresee
the practice growing
this quickly--

That’s okay.
That’s okay.
That’s all right.

No, that’s
all right.
That’s all right.

So, today I’ve added
a new doctor-- Dr. Green.

Dr. Green here will be
available for anybody who
would like to see him,

and you can avoid
the wait.

So, just feel free
to give your name
to, uh...

Thank you.

Next?

Well, I’ll, uh--
be in my office
all afternoon.

Join us next week

for Mel Gibson:
Dream Gynecologist.

Well...
that’s about it.

( audience cheers )

I’d like to, uh--
to thank you all

for watching me--
what, me-- I mean us--

make total fools of ourselves
on live television.

Total.
Total.

I might say now that
I’m no wealthier than
when I started.

Um, and I’d like
to thank Living Colour.
They were fabulous.

( cheers, applause )
Give ’em a big hand.

And each and every
one of you.

Bye!

Thank you.

*