All language subtitles for Saturday.Night.Live.S14E06.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-M29_4_text1

DON PARDO: It’s
Saturday Night Live.

With Dana Carvey.

Nora Dunn.

Phil Hartman.

Jan Hooks.

Victoria Jackson.

Jon Lovitz.

Dennis Miller.

And Kevin Nealon.

And featuring
A. Whitney Brown.

Al Franken.

G.E. Smith and the Saturday
Night Live band.

Musical guest
Tracy Chapman.

And starring
John Lithgow.

- Where is Fred?
- I don’t know.

It’s too late.
We just lost the account.

- What do we do now?
- I know.

I’m sorry, guys.
I hope--

When someone’s
kept you waiting,

there’s no better way
to let them know

than with
a long white beard.

Gruber’s
long white beard

is the fast,
efficient way

to show them you’ve been
held up for literally ages.

Whatever your predicament,

you can strike
the perfect tone

with the long
white beard.

You’ll make your point
without ever having to grope

for that perfect
sarcastic phrase.

Mr. President.

Gentlemen,
I know I’m late,

but I believe I...

Ouch.

Long white beard,
by Gruber.

Hey, guys, how much
time do I have?

Still a few minutes
to Mass, father.

Oh, good.
Then we can finish.

Let’s proceed.

Bless me, father,
for I have sinned.

It has been
seven months since
my last confession.

Seven months
is a long time, my son.

That’s seven months
for me, father.

Just one month
for you.

Ah, yes. Go ahead.

These are my sins.

I walked on the furniture
when no one was home.

I chased squirrels
three times.

I chewed on shoes
four times.

And are you
heartily sorry
for your misdeeds?

Yes, father, I am.

Then for your penance,
you will receive one
"That was bad,"

and three "Bad dogs."

Bad dog, bad dog,
that was bad, bad dog.

Now go in peace, my son.

Go on, get out.
Get out, get out.

Uh, just
a minute, father.

These are
my sins, father.

I barked at
the cat late at night.

I got sprayed
by a skunk two times.

I jumped out of
my flea bath
and ran away.

Go on.

( BARKS )

( BARKS )

Excuse me, father.
Excuse me.

You see, I ate my dinner,
but I was still really hungry,

and something
smelled really good,

so at 3:00
in the morning...

Excuse me a minute.

I knocked over
the garbage can, father.

Garbage can.
And did you
eat anything?

Yes, father.

Bless you.

( BARKS )

I... I ate two
chicken bones.

Chicken bones.
I see.

Do you know what
the penance for that is?

Do you know
what this is for?

I should give you
five newspapers for that.
That is so bad.

You know you are not
supposed to eat chicken bones.

But since this is
the holiday season,

your only penance
is to roll over ten times

and to perform
five good works for
the cats in your neighborhood.

Oh, thank you, father.
Thank you.

I will now absolve you
of your sins.

May the Lord
have mercy on you,

scratch you
between the ears
and on the belly,

and keep you out of
the neighbor’s yard.

May your barking
fall silent at night...

There’s a flea
in here, father.

And may you never
beg for table scraps.

Bless you, father.

- Now go in peace,
you bad dog! Bad dog!
- Bless you, father.

You are not to bark.
You’re in a sketch.

The Mass
is starting, father.

Thank you,
thank you.

Thank you, my son.

Good afternoon, and welcome to
St. Bernard’s church.

Our entrance hymn
is on page 32.

"A Mighty Fortress
Is Our God."

( DOGS HOWLING )

And now, we bring you
another page

from the diary of
the world’s greatest actor,

Master Thespian.

It is I,
Master Thespian.

Ah, Baudelaire,
I heard you had
become deathly ill.

due to the fact
that you had lost
the part of Hamlet to me.

But not to worry.

I’ve just the thing
to cheer you up.

A ticket to see
my performance

as the melancholy Dane.
Opening night.

Baudelaire.

Baudelaire?

Baudelaire!

Baudelaire!

I have come too late.

My mentor is dead.

His great heart
is cracked with grief,

because I am
more talented.

Maybe I shouldn’t have
rubbed it in so much.

May I help you?

Oh, no, thank you, doctor.
I feel fine.

Baudelaire is hanging
by a thread.

His only hope is for
Master Thespian to yield up

the role of Hamlet
that is rightfully
his due.

But Hamlet was meant to be
played by an actor, not a ham.

- Oh, really?
- Yes!

And he is
barely one, at that.

Why don’t you try
saying that...

to his face!

Oh, you fooled me!

Acting!

- Genius.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Protege, let me
play Hamlet.

It will never happen.

( GROANS
DRAMATICALLY )

Betrayal!

My heart doth fail me.

Oh, Baudelaire.
Baudelaire.

Sans breath.

Sans warmth.

Sans pulse.

Oh, I have killed
my mentor!

( SCREAMS )

He’s already decayed.

- Acting!
- Oh, you fooled me.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Now give me
that part.
- No!

- Upstart.
- Pipsqueak.

I’m a Taurus.

Spear carrier!

Ring, ring.

Yes?

Ah, Thespian,
it’s for you.

Thank you.
Yes?

(FALSETTO VOICE:)
Thespian, sorry
to bother you.

There will be no show
tonight due to--

Excuse me.

Do you mind
keeping your voice down?

I am on the phone.

- Yes?
- Yes, this is
the theater.

There will be no show
tonight in honor of
the imminent death

of the great Baudelaire.

Oh, how sad.
Thank you.

But how did
they know I was here?

Ring, ring.

- Yes?
- Acting! Again.

- You fooled me again.
- Thank you.

Two can play
at this game.

Ring, ring.

Yes?

( FALSETTO)
There’ll be no show tonight.

Ah, thank you.

There’s no show--
Oh! I fooled myself.

- Genius.
- Acting.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you!
- Thank you!

By the way, Thespian,
who was that on the phone?

Oh, the theater.
There’s no show tonight,
in honor of your death.

Ah, yes, my death.

Oh, sweet angel of death.

Kiss me on the cheek

whilst your blade
of deathly death

doth death me.

My heart hails not
the sweet cab of life.

Oh, Thespian,

I’m slipping away.

What can I do?

Let us quickly squeeze in
the final lesson du jour.

Oh, yes, yes.

Go, Baudelaire.
I am all ears.

The death scene
is the life blood
of the theater.

You must learn it
in three stages.

The first stage
is denial.

No, no!

- Good.
- Thank you.

The second stage
is realization.

My God, I’m dying!

- Excellent.
- Thank you.

And the final stage
of death is acceptance.

Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen
of the academy.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Thank you!

Oh, Baudelaire,
I am dying.

I’m dying.
I’m finished.

The show must go on,
and so I, the great Baudelaire,

shall assay Hamlet
tonight myself.

- Would you mind?
- Not at all.

For I am already
in costume.

Oh! Oh, if only I could
be there to see it.

This is your lucky day,
for I just happen
to have a ticket.

Loge. Loge!

My audience awaits.

But Thespian,
how can you come?
I thought you were dying.

Don’t be silly.
Acting.

Brilliant!

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

It’s...

With your host,
Pat Stevens.

Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the Pat Stevens Show.

I’m Pat Stevens.

You know, I’m not just
reading my Vogue.

I’m smelling it, too.

Ahhh!
That was Cher.

I think we’ve smelled
Catherine Deneuve

and Liz Taylor, too,
but one scent has been missing.

My own.

Well, this month,
you can smell me

in the privacy
of your own Vogue,

because now I’m debuting
my very own fragrance.

I call it
Uninhabited.

It’s all mine.

If I can...

Oh, that’s the essence
that says,

Hi. I’m Pat Stevens.

Actually, mine is a mixture
of Cher and Liz

with a little twist
of Old Spice.

It works.

And it’s available
at all fine Zayre stores.

I’m uninhabited.

You can be
uninhabited, too.

Stocking stuffers.

Well, it’s time to welcome
my very special guest,

all the way from
jolly old England,

welcome please
Margaret Thatcher.

I believe
you sit first.

My, you are some tall
drink of water.

Have you ever
tried modeling?

Oh, why, thank you.
No, Pat, I have not.

Now, Princess Margaret,
this is the first time

I’ve had royalty
on my show.

So tell me, is it true
that Charles and Di

are leading separate lives?
It’s such a shame.

Pat, I am the prime minister
of Great Britain,

and I did not come here
to engage in gossip

about the royal family.

Their lives are
under an incredible
amount of scrutiny,

and being a public
figure myself--

Oh, tell me about
being a public figure.

I can’t walk through
this studio without
people saying,

"Hi, Pat.
How are you today?"

Sometimes, I just
don’t have the answer.

The purpose of my visit
here in the United States

was to bid farewell
to a close friend
and ally,

Ronald Reagan.

Oh, so you’ve
been to the White House.

Quite a place,
isn’t it?

What am I telling
you for? You live
in a castle.

No, no. I do not
live in a castle.

Buckingham Palace
is occupied by
the queen of England.

My residence as prime minister
is 10 Downing Street.

Oh, please, forget
that she said that.

Margaret, don’t ever
give your address
on television.

The amount of crank mail
you’ll get will boggle
your senses.

My address
is not a secret.

Not anymore.
This is syndicated television.

Well, let me hurl
a tough one at you.

Why didn’t you pipe up
when Fergie named
the baby Beatrice?

Nobody likes the name.

Pat, if you would
just listen to me
for one moment,

perhaps I could
straighten this out.

- My runway is yours.
- Thank you.

I am not a member
of the royal family.

I am the prime minister
of England,

which is to say,
the political head
of the government.

While Queen Elizabeth
is our revered monarch,

she is without
political power.

In other words, I make
the important decisions.

Oh, don’t ask me
to make a decision.

I was in Bloomingdale’s
three hours trying to decide
on a skin care system.

Are you oily or dry?

Actually, I have
a combination skin.

Really? Whoa, that’s
one scratchy surface, lady.

Are you moisturizing?

Yes, of course.

I have a very strict
skin care regime.

First I cleanse,
then I moisturize.

Next, I use mild
clarifying tonic

to seal everything in.

What about
the eye area?

Oh, yes, that’s
a good question, Pat.

There are no
sebaceous glands
under the eye,

so when using
an eye cream,

we have to gently pat
around the eye area.

Otherwise,
you’ll puff up.

Well, you are
one fascinating woman.

Finally, a world leader
who has something to say.

Thank you, Pat.

And I might add,
I never vary my routine.

I didn’t even change it
during the Falklands war.

Well, I didn’t either,

but of course, I didn’t
even know it happened.

And, Pat,
let me tell you,

an old remedy to reduce
that puffiness around
your eyes, tea bags.

Puffiness? Please!

Let’s not be
that fascinating.

I think we’re
running out of
a little time.

We don’t wanna go
into my puffiness.

There you have it.

You’ve been watching...

With your host,
Pat Stevens.

Now wait a minute.
That’s not a tester.

You can pick that up
on your way to the airport

at the duty-free shop.
I wasn’t giving you that.

And now,
Weekend Update,

with anchorperson
Dennis Miller.

Good evening,
and what can I tell you?

George Bush this week
also met with

British prime minister
Margaret Thatcher.

Right after
this photo was taken,

Mrs. Thatcher said,
"The president-elect

"was remarkably candid
about himself.

Maybe a little too candid
for my taste."

Here’s a rare photograph
that includes

Prime Minister
Margaret Thatcher’s

seldom-seen husband
Denis Thatcher.

You don’t usually see
this guy out in public.

Maggie likes to keep him
running around 10 Downing Street

barefoot and pregnant.

This week,
President-elect Bush

started filling out
his administration

by appointing as his
White House chief of staff

New Hampshire governor
John Sununu.

Sununu will go down
in history

as the first
presidential staff member

whose name reads exactly
the same upside down.

Having appointed Sununu,

and Treasury Secretary
Nicholas Brady,

and Secretary of State
James Baker,

President-elect Bush streamlined
the process this week

when he appointed
Mr. Drysdale’s assistant,

Miss Hathaway, as the secretary
of everything else.

She said her first
endeavor in the White House

would be to get Granny
to move the still

away from the cement pond.

On Wednesday, Massachusetts
governor John Kerry

apologized for
telling a joke

about Vice-President-elect
Dan Quayle that offended some.

At a breakfast
the day before,

Kerry retold a joke
he had heard,

saying that
if Bush was shot,

the Secret Service
is under orders

to shoot Quayle.

Kerry apologized
for his mis-statement

and said what he meant
to actually say was

that if Bush is shot,
everybody else in the country

should kill themselves.

President-elect Bush
received a call

from former president
Nixon this week,

reportedly asking for
a presidential pardon.

When Bush pointed out that Nixon
had already received a pardon

from Gerald Ford,
Nixon replied, "I know,

but I’ve done some
bad things since then."

And if it’s Wednesday night
on the big island,

it’s gotta be
the Marcos’ dance night.

Here we see the kids
just about to step out

for an evening
on the town.

Well, she’s stepping.
He’s rolling out.

And Benazir Bhutto,

leader of the opposition
party in Pakistan,

won a big victory
this week.

Bhutto scored heavily
on the issue

of her opponent’s
weekend furlough

of a convicted Hindu murderer,
Rasheed Mohandas Horton,

who terrorized a Muslim
couple in Islamabad.

Horton stabbed the husband,

and ripped the veil
off the wife.

On Thursday in
London, England,

the Miss World pageant
was held,

and the winner
for the fourth consecutive year

was Night Court’s
John Larroquette.

And now, here to share
one of his special poems with us

is the legendary
Jimmy Stewart. Hello, Jimmy.

Hi there, Dennis.
It’s good to see you.
Good to see you.

This is a little poem
I wrote for my dog Blue.

This is the story
of my old dog Blue.

Man’s best friend,
me and you.

Old Blue would scratch at
me and Gloria’s door at night.

It meant he wanted
to sleep with us,

and he’d had a fright.

His bark was worse than
his bite, was my belief.

Maybe that’s because Blue
no longer had any teeth.

One day, Blue was
very still where he lay.

You’d say,
Come here, boy,

and he’d just stay.

You see, poor old Blue
had passed away.

At night now, I wait to hear
that little scratch at the door,

and I wait,
and I wait,

and then I realize
Blue isn’t with us anymore.

I miss his little
doggy nose,

his floppy ears,
and his teeny head.

It doesn’t
much matter now.

He’s just dead.

Jimmy, that’s beautiful.

Well, that was Blue.
That was Blue.

It’s not
that bad, Dennis.

He’s resting.
He’s just resting.

He was pretty
sick, you know.

He’s better off.

He wasn’t
that good a dog.

He couldn’t do
any tricks or anything.

He smelled a lot.

Real smelly.
Kind of a urine-y smell.

Lotsa doggy poo
everywhere.

Gloria’s still trying
to clean the carpets,

for cryin’ out loud.

He was a nasty dog.
Used to bite children.

You couldn’t wait
for him to die.

Would you quit
cryin’, Dennis?

I never had a dog.
Are you happy?

What are you,
a woman here?

Maybe you should
name yourself
Denise Miller.

Your hair’s
long enough for it.

You can make three pigtails
outta what you got
hangin’ back there.

Cool it with
the hair, Jimmy.

Sorry, Dennis.

It’s just
a poem about...

my dog Blue.

Don’t start with
that again.

You’re just a wussy.

You’re like
a little girl
or something.

Just cry, cry, cry.

Little girl. Wussy.

Jimmy Stewart.

Probably why you don’t see me
acting more on the show.

Recurring doubts surrounding
the death 25 years ago

of John F. Kennedy,

prompted a Senate committee
this week

to reopen an investigation
into the assassination.

The new inquiry will
be headed up by Angela Lansbury,

who says she expects
to solve the caper

in a special two-hour
Murder She Wrote

later this season.

After a landmark consumer
protection ruling this week,

lawn darts, the popular
outdoor target game,

was removed from
department store shelves.

A nationwide compliance
with the ban

has a leading toy manufacturer
worried about the future

of its latest creations,
Scissor-Chuck and Razor-Bee.

And today, there was
a tragic new development

in the continuing story
of those two Alaskan gray whales

recently released
from the ice.

Apparently, the little
Texas child, baby Jessica,

has now gotten
herself trapped

in one of the whale’s
blow holes.

Settle down.
She’s okay.

It’s just a joke.
I know she’s okay.

I read it in People.

Okay, reporting the news
is one thing,

but understanding
is something else.

Here with a commentary
on this subject

is Weekend Updatecorrespondent
Jon Lovitz. Hello, Jon.

Thank you, Dennis.

As you know, George Bush
will be our next president,

and like
all presidents before him,

he has promised
a brighter future

for all Americans.

Poppycock!

You wanna get ahead
in this life?

Then I have one piece
of advice for you.

Get to know me!

Get to know
my ups, my downs,

my smiles, my frowns.

What makes me walk,
what makes me talk,

what makes me think,
what makes me stink.

Get to know me.

Now here’s one of the first
letters I ever received.

"Dear Jon,
before I got to know you,

"I was nothing,
nowhere, nobody.

"I was small and wrinkly.

"I didn’t like people,
and they didn’t like me.

"Then I got to know you.

"Well, I’m still
pretty shriveled,

but today, they call me
Mother Teresa."

Get to know me!

How do I swim so fast?
Are my feet really webbed?

Why do I love
the letter "Ssssss"?

Get to know me!

Now here’s a letter
from a man

who started to get
to know me, then stopped.

A very dangerous
thing to do.

"Dear Jo--

"I started to get
to know you, then stopped.

"The following day,
I was completely bald.

Signed, Sy Sperling
of the Hair Club."

Coincidence?
I think not.

Get to know me.
How old is my liver?

Do I dye my teeth?

Why are women
crazy about me?

What do I have in common
with an elephant?

If you tickle me,
do I not throw up?

Get to know me.

And now, here’s a letter
from a resident of the east.

"Dear Jon,
before I got to know you,

"I was nothing,
nowhere, nobody.

"I was short
with black hair,

"and was told
I’d amount to nothing.

"Then, I got to know you.

"Well, I’m still
not too tall,

"and my hair’s
still black.

But today,
they call me Japan."

Get to know me!

- Thank you, Jon.
- Thank you, Dennis.

Thank you, Jon.

Good news for couples
with fertility problems.

Scientists at Stanford
University have developed

the first laboratory-synthesized
sperm cells.

The medical breakthrough
is expected to be on the market

early next year
under the brand name...

You gotta feel for
Mickey Mouse.

Poor rodent.
His whole life,

he’s got Donald and Goofy
trying to steal his thunder.

Finally, he has
his 60th birthday,

and he has to share
the limelight

with some kid who turns 40
and has even bigger ears.

It was revealed this week
that every building in Manhattan

is now either
a fax machine outlet,

a Benetton,
or a comedy club.

And by now,
TV viewers are well aware

that Oprah Winfrey
has lost 67 pounds

on a four-month
supervised liquid diet program.

Not to be outdone,
her competitor Phil Donahue

secretly went on
a super-crash diet,

and today announced
he’s down to 25 pounds.

Guess what, folks?
That’s the news.

Oh, Marge honey,
you outdid yourself.

Oh, I don’t know.
That turkey was
a little dry,

and I know the rolls
could’ve been better.

Oh, nonsense. It was
the best darn Thanksgiving
we’ve ever had.

Oh, you’re the sweetest.

Oh, look at what
those boys are doing.

Donny, Carl, Dwayne,
all of you come
out of there.

Donna and Beverly and I
are gonna do the dishes.
Go on in.

( ALL LAUGHING
AND GROANING )

Your wife’s gotta be
the best cook in Indiana.

Oh, yeah, Mom knows
how to cook, all right.

Oh, you know it.
My eyes are bigger
than my stomach.

Let’s see if
the game’s on here.

No, not yet.

Well, we might as well
just sit here and wait
for it to come on.

( ALL GROANING )

Gosh, that was
a great meal.

That’s
a good idea.

You know, you three kids ate
like you had a hollow leg.

You know what?
It’s on the wrong station.

Oh, don’t get up.
I got the remote
right here.

Yoo-hoo. Hello.

Would my boys
like a beer with the game?

- Dwayne?
- No.

Oh, okay.

- Carl, Bob, Donny?
- Sure.

Help yourselves.
Take it on down there.

There you go. And I know
my Dan wants one.

- Oh, yeah.
- Here we go.

Thank you, darlin’.

I’ll be back to check
on you in just a minute.

It’s so good to have
my boys with me again.

Oh!

Boy, you’re
a lucky guy, Dan.

If you weren’t
my brother,

I’d try to steal
Margie from you.

( LOUD BELCHING )

Oh, boy,
that felt good.

Oh, I envy you that one.

I’m tellin’ you, Bob.

Diet starts tomorrow.

You better believe it.

I’m on that see food diet.
I see food, I eat it.

ALL: Oh, yeah.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi.

Hey, Kitten.

Mom sent me out with
some bridge mix

and some beer nuts
for the ball game.

Thanks, sweetheart.

- Thanks.
- You’re welcome.

Holler if you need
anything.

That was real
sweet of her.

Oh, boy, Dan,
this is the life.

Oh, yeah.

Dontcha wish you could live
like this every day?

- Oh, yes, sir.
- Oh, it doesn’t get
any better than this.

Yoo-hoo. Would anyone like
a sandwich

before I put
the turkey away?

ALL: No.

Then how about a big slice
of pumpkin pie

with some whipped
cream on it?

- Oh, all right.
- Okay.

Why don’t I just bring
everyone a slice,

and you can choose
if you want it or not?

Okay? Okay.

And, um, what would
you like to drink with your pie?

Another beer.

Okay. Beer and pie
all the way around then?

- Okay.
- Let me help
you, sweetheart.

No, no, no, no.
Now it’s no trouble.

I love to do
for my family.

When I see my boys
like this,

I know why God
made mothers.

Boy, Dan, you got
the life of Riley here.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, look here.
The game’s about to start.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, wasn’t this
your alma mater?

Oh, yeah.

I guess I’m gonna be
the last one

that’s gonna be
awake for this game.

It’s gonna be
one hell of a game.

Oh, look at this.

It feels so good

to have the family
together for Thanksgiving.

Just makes the house
seem alive again.

And having discussed
the smallest bone,

the cochlea
in the inner ear,

let us turn now
to the largest bone,

the femur,
or the thigh bone.

Now the femur in
the adult male

can range from
18 to 32 inches,

whereas the female,
a length of 12 to 24 inches,

is more common.

The femur is, of course,
located right here...

( SHRIEKS )

Oh, excuse me.

At one end of the femur,
the bone thickens

into a pulpy,
bulbous protrusion,

which fits neatly into
the pelvis,

creating a ball
and socket joint

known as the hip.

As you can see,
the hip is...

( SHRIEKS )

Excuse me.

Okay, directly
above the pelvis,

we find the ribs
and the vertebrae.

The ribs join at
the sternum,

which is the flat area...
( SHRIEKS )

Look, uh,
class dismissed.

It’s been six years, Dan.

Haven’t you licked
this problem yet?

I can’t help it.
I get so scared
every time I see it.

You’ve got to get
a grip on yourself.

You’re the finest professor
of osteology on the east coast.

Remember, a skeleton
is a very natural thing.

Every one of us
has a skeleton
in his body.

( SHRIEKS )

Oh. Oh, right.
I knew that.

I’ve given this
some thought, Dan.

Maybe you should
get yourself a skeleton

that is less scary.

Hmm.

Yes, I can do that.

The vertebrae then serves
two functions.

They form the trunk,
or main support of
the entire skeleton,

and they protect
the spinal cord.

As you will notice,
they are connected by

a series of soft,
flexible...

( GASPS )

Uh... ligaments,
known as disks.

But even the vertebrae
are not as complicated

as the wrist.

If we examine the wrist
closely...

( WHIMPERS )

Excuse me.

We see thousands
of tiny bones.

Look, tomorrow,
we’ll discuss the foot.

Class dismissed.

Any improvement at all?

Well, maybe a little.

It used to be scary.

Now it’s just...
startling.

But I do have a lead
on a place that makes
tiny skeletons.

Oh, Dan, I don’t think
that’s the answer.

You know, sometimes,
in situations like this,

a silly costume
can help.

Silly costume.

Yeah.

Now the kneecap
is a small, bony plate

which is not attached to
any other bone directly

but rather is held in place
by four muscles

which are located here.

( LAUGHTER )

Oh, that’s great!

Oh, man.
All right.

So the lowermost
of these muscles

is anchored to
the top of the tibia,

or shin bone,
which we can find over here.

Oh, that really
cracks me up. It’s great.

( KNOCKING ON DOOR )

- Hi, Dan.
- Hi, Dean.

I’m sorry to interrupt.

I just wanted to drop by
and see how you were doing.

Well, Dan, I think
I’m cured.

Here. Take a look.

( SCREAMS )
A pirate!

Help me!

No, Dan, Dan,
it’s not a real pirate.

Here, look.

Thanks, everybody.
Thanks for watching.