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00:00:02,079 --> 00:00:03,314
♪ MTV. ♪
2
00:00:13,857 --> 00:00:15,492
♪ ♪
3
00:00:15,592 --> 00:00:17,861
CARTMAN:
Ow. Ow!
4
00:00:17,961 --> 00:00:19,363
Ah, God!
5
00:00:19,463 --> 00:00:21,365
I'm just taking
your blood pressure, Eric.
6
00:00:21,465 --> 00:00:23,033
It's too tight. Stop.
7
00:00:23,134 --> 00:00:24,601
(air hisses)
8
00:00:24,701 --> 00:00:26,470
Ms. Cartman,
I'm extremely worried
9
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:28,305
about your son's health.
10
00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:30,307
His blood pressure,
his cholesterol.
11
00:00:30,407 --> 00:00:32,309
I think it's time
for some drastic measures
12
00:00:32,409 --> 00:00:33,810
to bring down his weight.
13
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,846
Oh, God, here we go
with this shit again.
14
00:00:35,946 --> 00:00:38,449
Doctor, we try to have Eric
eat right and exercise,
15
00:00:38,549 --> 00:00:41,452
but it just doesn't seem
to work for him.
16
00:00:41,552 --> 00:00:43,720
Well, there might be
another answer.
17
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,690
Have you heard of semaglutides?
18
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:49,160
Semaglutides?
19
00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:51,128
They're the active ingredient
in Ozempic,
20
00:00:51,228 --> 00:00:53,264
a drug originally made
for people with diabetes
21
00:00:53,364 --> 00:00:54,931
but we've now discovered
22
00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:58,135
they can help obese people
lose vast amounts of weight.
23
00:00:58,235 --> 00:01:00,504
Really?
24
00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:02,105
It's a whole new era
of medicine.
25
00:01:02,206 --> 00:01:03,674
A miracle, really.
26
00:01:03,774 --> 00:01:07,678
Young man, how would you like
to not be fat anymore?
27
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,316
Not be fat anymore?
28
00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,017
Me?
29
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,019
Not fat anymore?
30
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,155
♪ ♪
31
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:22,459
Hey, guys!
32
00:01:22,559 --> 00:01:25,462
How's it going?
Good to see you guys.
33
00:01:25,562 --> 00:01:27,364
Hey, Wendy,
you want to know something?
34
00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:29,132
- What?
- You're a dumb bitch.
35
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:30,634
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
36
00:01:30,734 --> 00:01:32,603
You're a dumb bitch
and you got saggy tits.
37
00:01:32,703 --> 00:01:34,671
Oh, yeah, Cartman?
Well, you're a...
38
00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:37,040
You're a...
(groans)
39
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,075
(laughs)
Sweet!
40
00:01:39,176 --> 00:01:40,877
Oh, hey. Hey, Kyle.
41
00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:43,046
Kyle, guess what?
You're a totally ugly ginger
42
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,848
and your religion
is fucking bullshit.
43
00:01:44,948 --> 00:01:46,750
Oh, yeah? Well, you're a...
44
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:49,586
You're a... uh... Damn it!
45
00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:52,456
(laughs)
Yeah! Awesome!
46
00:01:52,556 --> 00:01:55,359
Hey, hello there, Pakistan.
47
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:58,662
Your whole country is fucking
dumb and it smells like ass.
48
00:01:58,762 --> 00:02:01,398
Okay, Pakistan? Why don't you
get your shit together?
49
00:02:01,498 --> 00:02:02,666
(crowd booing)
50
00:02:02,766 --> 00:02:05,536
Oh, yeah?
Well, you are normal person!
51
00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:08,872
You are... very average-looking.
52
00:02:08,972 --> 00:02:11,542
Fuck yeah, dawg.
This is fucking nice!
53
00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:13,344
♪ ♪
54
00:02:13,444 --> 00:02:16,146
Wow. Could this really happen?
55
00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:19,383
Doctor, is it really true
I can not be fat?
56
00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,452
It's really true, young man.
57
00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:23,987
How much
do these new drugs cost?
58
00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:27,558
Well, they aren't cheap.
It's about $1,200 a month.
59
00:02:27,658 --> 00:02:30,461
Oh, I don't know
if we can afford that.
60
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:31,795
Oh. All right.
61
00:02:31,895 --> 00:02:33,964
Well, never mind, Eric.
Have a good day.
62
00:02:34,064 --> 00:02:35,399
Never mind?
63
00:02:35,499 --> 00:02:37,133
You can't just tell me
there's a new miracle drug
64
00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:39,603
that'll make me not fat anymore,
then say fucking "never mind"!
65
00:02:39,703 --> 00:02:41,505
Insurance companies
only cover the medication
66
00:02:41,605 --> 00:02:43,240
for diabetes,
not for weight loss.
67
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,676
So if you can't afford them,
you're just kind of out of luck.
68
00:02:45,776 --> 00:02:48,979
Doctor, please,
I've been fat my whole life.
69
00:02:49,079 --> 00:02:50,647
I hate how I look.
70
00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:54,718
Please, there has to be
something you can do.
71
00:02:55,652 --> 00:02:57,020
(sighs)
All right.
72
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,590
I'm gonna write you
a prescription for Lizzo.
73
00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:01,792
- Lizzo?
- She's a really good singer
74
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:03,827
who talks about body positivity
and just being happy
75
00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:05,228
with the way you look.
76
00:03:05,329 --> 00:03:07,264
I want you to listen to Lizzo
five times a day
77
00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:09,300
and watch her videos
just before bedtime.
78
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,835
Oh, and I'm afraid
you'll have to be on Lizzo
79
00:03:11,935 --> 00:03:13,870
for the rest of your life.
80
00:03:14,705 --> 00:03:17,140
No! Lizzo, no!
81
00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:20,377
WOMAN:
(screams) Oh, my God!
82
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,546
REPORTER: A new weight-loss
drug, one that's been described
83
00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:24,147
- as a game changer...
- REPORTER 2: Patients
with obesity
84
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,350
lost up to 17.5%
of their body weight...
85
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:28,652
MAN: The drug works by mimicking
a naturally carried hormone
86
00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,253
that is released from the gut...
87
00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:32,188
♪ Well, I'm going down
to South Park ♪
88
00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:35,326
♪ Gonna have myself a time... ♪
89
00:03:35,426 --> 00:03:37,093
WOMAN: One hot topic
everyone in Hollywood
90
00:03:37,193 --> 00:03:39,229
still seems to be
talking about is Ozempic.
91
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,097
♪ Yeah, I'm going down
to South Park ♪
92
00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:43,534
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind... ♪
93
00:03:43,634 --> 00:03:45,235
WOMAN:
Obesity is a biological
condition...
94
00:03:45,336 --> 00:03:47,904
Are these new drugs
a silver bullet for weight loss?
95
00:03:48,004 --> 00:03:49,706
♪ Heading on up to South Park ♪
96
00:03:49,806 --> 00:03:52,275
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind... ♪
97
00:03:52,376 --> 00:03:54,845
It will be the most
lucrative drug ever made.
98
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:57,714
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
99
00:03:57,814 --> 00:04:00,216
♪ And meet some friends
of mine. ♪
100
00:04:02,486 --> 00:04:03,920
(woman screams)
101
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:19,302
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where are you going?
102
00:04:20,337 --> 00:04:22,038
I'm going to school.
103
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:24,408
Not looking like that
you aren't.
104
00:04:24,508 --> 00:04:26,477
Not looking like what?
105
00:04:26,577 --> 00:04:27,844
We've talked about this,
Shelley.
106
00:04:27,944 --> 00:04:29,513
You don't go to school
wearing shirts
107
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:31,348
that show off
your body like that.
108
00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:34,284
All the girls at school
dress like this, Dad.
109
00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:36,086
Mom already said it was okay.
110
00:04:36,186 --> 00:04:39,956
- What?
- It's really just
the fashion now, Randy.
111
00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:41,658
I don't care
if it's the fashion,
112
00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:43,660
I don't want
my innocent little daughter
113
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,697
going to school
dressed like a cum whore.
114
00:04:46,797 --> 00:04:48,198
Go put on a different shirt.
115
00:04:48,298 --> 00:04:49,766
No. I don't have to.
116
00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:51,635
My body's not a distraction,
it's perfect,
117
00:04:51,735 --> 00:04:53,504
and you can't tell me
what to do.
118
00:04:53,604 --> 00:04:55,606
You're gonna get stared at
all day.
119
00:04:55,706 --> 00:04:57,608
Little boys are perverts.
120
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,643
Mom already said
I could wear it!
121
00:04:59,743 --> 00:05:01,645
(nasally): Mom already said
I could wear it!
122
00:05:01,745 --> 00:05:03,079
You're stupid.
123
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:04,915
The school says girls
can wear shirts like this
124
00:05:05,015 --> 00:05:06,450
so I can do what I want!
125
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:08,351
(regular voice): Okay, cool,
then maybe I'll just wear
126
00:05:08,452 --> 00:05:11,422
whatever I want to school
to come pick you up later!
127
00:05:11,522 --> 00:05:12,923
Go ahead!
128
00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:15,225
Ugh.
129
00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:18,629
She's gonna be fine, Randy.
She's just growing up.
130
00:05:18,729 --> 00:05:20,330
Oh, she's gonna be fine?
131
00:05:20,431 --> 00:05:22,633
Okay. Mark my words.
132
00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:26,036
If you walk around wearing
a shirt that exposes your belly,
133
00:05:26,136 --> 00:05:27,938
you end up with a bad group
of people
134
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:29,806
doing a bunch of drugs.
135
00:05:29,906 --> 00:05:32,042
You'll see.
136
00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:37,814
♪ ♪
137
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,785
Randy was really upset,
but I don't know,
138
00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:43,654
I just don't see
what the big deal is.
139
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:46,122
Do you let Wendy
wear crop tops to school?
140
00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:47,357
Yeah, sometimes.
141
00:05:47,458 --> 00:05:49,025
I think it's fine
when girls wear them.
142
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:51,127
What I can't stand
is all the middle-aged moms
143
00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:53,129
wearing them now
'cause they're all on Ozempic.
144
00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:56,467
- Who's on Ozempic?
- Oh, Butter's mom, Craig's mom.
145
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,835
A bunch of women use it
to lose that last five pounds
146
00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:01,004
and show off their stomachs.
147
00:06:01,104 --> 00:06:03,006
Oh, hey, guys. How's it going?
148
00:06:03,106 --> 00:06:04,708
Just getting some coffee?
149
00:06:04,808 --> 00:06:07,410
Hi, Linda.
You're, uh, looking good.
150
00:06:07,511 --> 00:06:09,379
Oh, yeah, you know,
just working out a lot,
151
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,314
doing Pilates and stuff.
152
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,749
Uh-huh, sure.
153
00:06:12,849 --> 00:06:14,718
Kind of cold out,
isn't it, Linda?
154
00:06:14,818 --> 00:06:16,219
Oh, no, I'm not cold.
155
00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:18,021
Not with all the running
I'm doing lately
156
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,156
- to work on my core.
- Hey, ladies.
157
00:06:20,256 --> 00:06:22,292
Boy, it sure is chilly out
this morning, huh?
158
00:06:22,392 --> 00:06:25,596
Yeah, I sure hope
summer comes soon.
159
00:06:25,696 --> 00:06:27,798
Yeah, uh, we, uh,
we got to get going.
160
00:06:27,898 --> 00:06:29,966
We'll see you guys around.
161
00:06:30,066 --> 00:06:32,102
Linda, you look really good.
162
00:06:32,202 --> 00:06:34,070
Which obesity drugs
are you taking?
163
00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:36,907
Drugs? I-I'm not
taking any drugs.
164
00:06:37,007 --> 00:06:38,842
I'm just hiking
and lifting weights.
165
00:06:38,942 --> 00:06:41,211
Oh, Linda, you don't have
to be shy with us.
166
00:06:41,311 --> 00:06:44,414
I'm using Ozempic
and Laura's using Mounjaro.
167
00:06:44,515 --> 00:06:46,016
Come on, what are you on?
168
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:49,820
Oh, well, the truth is,
Ozempic gave me the shits
169
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,788
so I switched to Zepbound.
170
00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:53,557
Ooh, Zepbound's the same
as Mounjaro,
171
00:06:53,657 --> 00:06:55,992
but you don't have to have
the diabetes to get it, right?
172
00:06:56,092 --> 00:06:58,762
Yeah, I think Zepbound
is the one Tweek's mom is doing.
173
00:06:58,862 --> 00:07:00,931
Who had the half-caff
venti chai latte?
174
00:07:01,031 --> 00:07:02,699
Oh, that's me.
175
00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:03,967
Listen, girls,
we're doing the party
176
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,368
at my house
this afternoon, okay?
177
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:08,204
- Okay, sounds good.
- The-the party?
178
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:11,041
Yeah, you know, the obesity
drugs are so hard to get,
179
00:07:11,141 --> 00:07:13,610
all the girls meet up and share
drugs and talk about them.
180
00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:16,146
- You got to come.
- Okay, I will.
181
00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:18,749
(laughter)
182
00:07:18,849 --> 00:07:21,084
♪ ♪
183
00:07:22,519 --> 00:07:23,854
Hey, Kyle.
184
00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:25,556
Kyle, can you come
talk to Eric for a minute?
185
00:07:25,656 --> 00:07:26,823
He's really upset.
186
00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:28,792
Cartman's upset? So what?
187
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:30,794
He's been crying all day
and now he's just sitting
188
00:07:30,894 --> 00:07:33,129
on the merry-go-round
all by himself.
189
00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:35,265
♪ ♪
190
00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:42,072
(sniffles)
191
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,774
What's wrong with you?
192
00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:45,441
(sniffles)
193
00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:46,943
Nothing.
194
00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:51,014
Okay, Cartman,
obviously something's wrong.
195
00:07:51,114 --> 00:07:53,784
(sniffles)
I'm just fat.
196
00:07:53,884 --> 00:07:55,786
And I'm always gonna be fat.
197
00:07:55,886 --> 00:07:58,088
(sniffles)
198
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:00,356
Is this a trick?
199
00:08:00,456 --> 00:08:01,892
I'm just...
200
00:08:01,992 --> 00:08:03,794
there's these new medications
that can treat obesity,
201
00:08:03,894 --> 00:08:05,762
but my mom can't afford them.
202
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:09,499
I'm-I'm just a poor, fat kid.
203
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,202
Poor little fat kid.
204
00:08:12,302 --> 00:08:14,705
Okay, Cartman, if your doctor
wants to put you on medication,
205
00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:16,339
your insurance will pay for it.
206
00:08:16,439 --> 00:08:19,475
No, they said the insurance
won't pay for it 'cause, um,
207
00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:21,477
they're kind of new drugs,
and so the only people
208
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:24,514
that can get them are people
who can pay 1,200 bucks a month
209
00:08:24,615 --> 00:08:27,017
and the rest of us get this.
210
00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:29,419
- What's this?
- It's a prescription for Lizzo.
211
00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:32,488
Rich people get Ozempic,
poor people get body positivity.
212
00:08:32,589 --> 00:08:34,825
They can't just give medication
to rich people.
213
00:08:34,925 --> 00:08:36,259
Well, that's what they're doing.
214
00:08:36,359 --> 00:08:37,928
Well, did you talk
to the insurance company?
215
00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:39,262
Did you file a claim?
216
00:08:39,362 --> 00:08:40,864
Let's go down there
and talk to them.
217
00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:42,565
See? I knew Kyle could help.
218
00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,601
When it comes to your health,
you got to be tough, dude.
219
00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:47,938
You got to have
some fucking willpower, okay?
220
00:08:48,038 --> 00:08:50,941
(sniffles)
Okay.
221
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:53,109
(school bell rings)
222
00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,818
Oh, hey! Hey, Shelley!
223
00:09:01,918 --> 00:09:04,788
Over here, Shelley.
224
00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:06,857
Yeah, right here. It's Dad!
225
00:09:06,957 --> 00:09:08,725
I'm here to pick you up!
226
00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:10,827
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:12,729
Oh, what?
What's the problem, Shelley?
228
00:09:12,829 --> 00:09:16,066
Come on, sweetheart.
Daddy's just here to get you!
229
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:19,302
Tweek, come on, let's go, honey.
Get your stuff.
230
00:09:20,637 --> 00:09:23,339
Oh, hey, Randy. Look at you.
231
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:24,775
Huh?
232
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:28,211
So, you're, uh, you're doing
the thing, too, huh?
233
00:09:28,311 --> 00:09:30,380
- Doing-doing what thing?
- Oh, come on,
234
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,582
we can all be honest
with each other.
235
00:09:32,683 --> 00:09:34,084
Those of us that can afford it
236
00:09:34,184 --> 00:09:36,787
have nothing
to be ashamed of, right?
237
00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:40,323
You're, uh,
you're into the drugs?
238
00:09:40,423 --> 00:09:43,526
- Well, yeah, I'm into drugs.
- Yeah, me, too.
239
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,996
- Whoa, really?
- Yeah, I love them.
240
00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:48,732
Well, I'm more into drugs than
probably anyone in this town.
241
00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:50,200
Well, then, what are you doing?
242
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,635
- You got to come join the group.
- There's a group?
243
00:09:52,736 --> 00:09:54,805
Yeah, a bunch of the girls,
we get together and talk
244
00:09:54,905 --> 00:09:57,107
about all the different drugs
and where we can get them.
245
00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:59,409
They're way harder
to get these days.
246
00:09:59,509 --> 00:10:02,112
At Laura Tucker's house
tomorrow, lunch.
247
00:10:02,212 --> 00:10:05,315
Come hang with the girls
and we can share drugs.
248
00:10:13,356 --> 00:10:16,392
BUTTERS:
Wow, look at this place.
249
00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:19,629
Well, hello there.
Looking to get some insurance?
250
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:22,165
No. My friend's mom already has
insurance with your company.
251
00:10:22,265 --> 00:10:24,600
Oh, great. You're here
to pay your bill.
252
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:26,669
No, no, we're not here
to give you money.
253
00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:29,005
We're here to file a claim
for my friend's medication.
254
00:10:29,105 --> 00:10:30,874
Oh, you want money from us.
255
00:10:30,974 --> 00:10:32,642
Right through that door
over there.
256
00:10:36,312 --> 00:10:38,348
(printer whirring)
257
00:10:39,382 --> 00:10:40,650
Hello.
258
00:10:40,751 --> 00:10:43,086
We want to file a claim
to get my friend's
259
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,454
weight-loss drugs paid for.
260
00:10:44,554 --> 00:10:46,957
Oh, okay.
261
00:10:56,432 --> 00:10:58,935
Do you want to know
his policy number or anything?
262
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:03,673
Let me-- let me just speak
with our medical director first.
263
00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:19,222
Yeah, yeah, okay.
264
00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:23,359
Sorry, but we don't pay
for medicines for obesity
265
00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:24,828
because it's not a disease.
266
00:11:24,928 --> 00:11:26,462
Who was that?
267
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,498
That was the medical director.
268
00:11:28,598 --> 00:11:30,266
The medical director decides
what claims are valid
269
00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:31,601
for us to pay for.
270
00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:32,903
But you didn't say
who the patient was
271
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:34,137
and what was wrong with him.
272
00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:36,840
Right.
The medical director's job
273
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,508
is just to say no.
274
00:11:38,608 --> 00:11:41,577
Look, my friend's mom has been
paying you people for years,
275
00:11:41,677 --> 00:11:44,547
and his doctor says his weight
is a medical concern,
276
00:11:44,647 --> 00:11:47,217
and obesity is a disease.
Oprah Winfrey says so!
277
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:50,320
Okay, okay, calm down.
Calm... down.
278
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,722
I didn't realize
I was dealing with someone
279
00:11:52,823 --> 00:11:54,224
who had so much determination.
280
00:11:54,324 --> 00:11:55,926
If you do a little more work,
I think we can get
281
00:11:56,026 --> 00:11:57,327
your medications paid for.
282
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:58,862
W-We can?
283
00:11:58,962 --> 00:12:00,696
Yeah, you see, the doctors
and the pharmaceutical companies
284
00:12:00,797 --> 00:12:03,199
and the insurance companies
all kind of work together.
285
00:12:03,299 --> 00:12:05,435
So all you have to do
is navigate
286
00:12:05,535 --> 00:12:07,770
the American health care system.
287
00:12:08,905 --> 00:12:11,707
♪ ♪
288
00:12:11,808 --> 00:12:13,944
BUTTERS: * We're gonna navigate
the American ♪
289
00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:15,711
♪ Health care system ♪
290
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:17,147
♪ It's there for you and me ♪
291
00:12:17,247 --> 00:12:18,348
Just fill out these forms.
292
00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:19,682
♪ We're gonna get better ♪
293
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,117
♪ And we're gonna be strong ♪
294
00:12:21,217 --> 00:12:23,219
♪ And as healthy as can be ♪
295
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:24,520
I need to send you to Imaging.
296
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,256
♪ Let's navigate the American ♪
297
00:12:26,356 --> 00:12:27,290
♪ Health care system ♪
298
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,791
Just fill out these forms.
299
00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:30,593
I just-- I just filled 'em out
at the last place.
300
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:33,096
♪ It's so much fun
to be getting it done ♪
301
00:12:33,196 --> 00:12:34,764
I can't sign this for insurance.
302
00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:36,366
His original doctor needs
to sign this.
303
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:38,334
♪ We go back to the doctor ♪
304
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:40,070
♪ To get that thing
for insurance ♪
305
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,838
♪ Then go back to insurance... ♪
306
00:12:41,938 --> 00:12:44,374
(printer whirring)
307
00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:50,346
We need you to get
a second opinion
308
00:12:50,446 --> 00:12:52,883
- from a doctor who's in network.
- Ugh.
309
00:12:52,983 --> 00:12:56,219
♪ We're navigating the American
health care system ♪
310
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:59,022
♪ Now just watch us go ♪
311
00:12:59,122 --> 00:13:02,358
♪ We're getting things done,
taking care of our health... ♪
312
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,960
We need these filled out
and then faxed
313
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:05,261
to your insurance company.
314
00:13:05,361 --> 00:13:06,897
♪ We're filling out forms ♪
315
00:13:06,997 --> 00:13:08,631
♪ And we're scanning
those forms ♪
316
00:13:08,731 --> 00:13:10,300
♪ And then we're
emailing those forms ♪
317
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,935
♪ To get them back
to insurance. ♪
318
00:13:12,035 --> 00:13:14,237
(printer whirring)
319
00:13:18,408 --> 00:13:21,011
We need confirmation
from a different specialist.
320
00:13:21,111 --> 00:13:23,513
♪ Let's go and navigate
the American ♪
321
00:13:23,613 --> 00:13:25,048
♪ Health care system ♪
322
00:13:25,148 --> 00:13:27,951
♪ It's the best system
of them all... ♪
323
00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:29,452
No, we already talked
to the insurance company.
324
00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:30,921
They were supposed to
talk to you.
325
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,023
♪ And we go back to the doctor ♪
326
00:13:33,123 --> 00:13:34,857
♪ We go back to the specialist ♪
327
00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:36,526
♪ Who talks to
the insurance company ♪
328
00:13:36,626 --> 00:13:38,028
♪ That faxes the medical
advisor ♪
329
00:13:38,128 --> 00:13:39,695
♪ Who's on a boat
in the Maldives ♪
330
00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:41,531
- No.
- ♪ And were going in one place ♪
331
00:13:41,631 --> 00:13:42,765
♪ And we're coming out
the other place ♪
332
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,234
♪ And we're back over here now ♪
333
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:46,002
♪ And I was just over there ♪
334
00:13:46,102 --> 00:13:47,837
♪ And I'm getting confused,
and it's getting dark ♪
335
00:13:47,938 --> 00:13:49,372
♪ And my mind is
all different colors ♪
336
00:13:49,472 --> 00:13:50,873
♪ And I think I'm lost. ♪
337
00:13:50,974 --> 00:13:52,375
(echoing):
Hey, fellas, I think I'm lost
338
00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:53,776
in the American
health care system.
339
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,545
Fellas? Fellas?!
340
00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:57,547
Help!
341
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,252
So my doctor says,
"I don't think you really need
342
00:14:02,352 --> 00:14:03,719
"these drugs, Mrs. Stotch.
343
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,555
They're more for people
with morbid obesity."
344
00:14:05,655 --> 00:14:08,391
I was like, "I have to be
in a bikini on Wednesday.
345
00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,493
You can morbid obesity my ass."
346
00:14:10,593 --> 00:14:12,362
I heard most doctors
will still prescribe
347
00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:13,863
the ten milligram
Zepbound shots.
348
00:14:13,964 --> 00:14:15,932
No, they're cracking down
on those, too, because
349
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:18,901
- people with diabetes need it.
- (doorbell rings)
350
00:14:20,603 --> 00:14:22,505
Hey!
351
00:14:23,773 --> 00:14:25,108
Oh, hey, Randy.
352
00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:27,177
Girls, Randy says
he has a hookup
353
00:14:27,277 --> 00:14:28,878
on some really good shit.
354
00:14:28,979 --> 00:14:30,646
- Oh, wow, let me get
some of that.
- (excited chatter)
355
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:33,883
Welcome to the club, Randy.
Which drugs are you on?
356
00:14:33,984 --> 00:14:35,285
Well, I'm on whatever.
357
00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:37,954
I brought a little appetizer
for everybody.
358
00:14:38,054 --> 00:14:40,156
Everyone. Everyone,
359
00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:41,691
we have a little surprise
for you all.
360
00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:44,594
So, Alexis Testaburger
just decided
361
00:14:44,694 --> 00:14:46,196
to start taking the drugs.
362
00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:48,364
She went to Mexico
and was able to get
363
00:14:48,464 --> 00:14:51,301
a 12-injection sample
through customs.
364
00:14:51,401 --> 00:14:52,935
Party time, guys.
365
00:14:53,036 --> 00:14:54,770
- No way.
- How can you get it?
- How much can you get?
366
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,539
- Oh, my God.
- How much is it?
- I need it now.
367
00:14:56,639 --> 00:15:01,477
- Oh, I want some.
- I need it now.
- I'm all out.
368
00:15:03,013 --> 00:15:04,247
Here you go, Randy.
369
00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,449
Oh, thanks, yeah.
370
00:15:06,549 --> 00:15:08,985
That's, uh, yeah, awesome.
371
00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:12,955
Is something wrong, Randy?
372
00:15:13,056 --> 00:15:15,525
No. No, I'm not a-scared.
373
00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:16,959
Well, go ahead, Randy.
374
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:21,831
ALL (chanting):
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!
375
00:15:21,931 --> 00:15:23,966
♪ ♪
376
00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:26,969
Bravo!
377
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,671
(all cheer)
378
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:31,274
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy...
379
00:15:31,374 --> 00:15:34,544
♪ Cry, little sister ♪
380
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:37,513
♪ Thou shall not fall ♪
381
00:15:37,613 --> 00:15:41,151
- (indistinct chatter, laughter)
- ♪ Come, come to your brother ♪
382
00:15:41,251 --> 00:15:44,454
♪ Thou shall not die ♪
383
00:15:44,554 --> 00:15:47,557
♪ Unchain me, sister ♪
384
00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:50,660
♪ Thou shall not fear ♪
385
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,696
♪ Love is with your brother ♪
386
00:15:53,796 --> 00:15:59,702
♪ Thou shall not kill ♪
387
00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:01,037
WHISPERING VOICE:
Randy...
388
00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:05,508
Randy...
389
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:21,191
Oh, you're finally up.
390
00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:23,025
You got home late last night.
391
00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:24,627
Oh, uh, yeah.
392
00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:28,098
I was just out
doing some hiking.
393
00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:30,166
You were hiking at night?
394
00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:32,935
Yeah, I was hiking really a lot.
395
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,970
Well, here, I made you
some bacon and eggs.
396
00:16:35,071 --> 00:16:37,940
Uh, no, thanks.
I'm really not that hungry.
397
00:16:43,746 --> 00:16:45,915
Towelie. Towelie.
You're not gonna believe this.
398
00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:49,385
Dude, have you ever done
GLP-1 peptides?
399
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:51,221
GLP pep what now?
400
00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:53,656
There's these new,
crazy drugs people are doing.
401
00:16:53,756 --> 00:16:56,359
It's like cocaine and molly
mixed together.
402
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:58,294
They make women go crazy.
403
00:16:58,394 --> 00:16:59,462
No, really?
404
00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:01,997
Yeah. Last night I was partying
405
00:17:02,098 --> 00:17:03,433
with nine hot MILFs,
406
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,568
and this morning I woke up,
and guess what.
407
00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,337
I don't feel like total shit.
408
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:09,004
It's like a miracle drug.
409
00:17:09,105 --> 00:17:11,907
You partied all night and
felt fine the next morning?
410
00:17:12,007 --> 00:17:13,276
Totally fine.
411
00:17:13,376 --> 00:17:14,910
There's, like,
nothing wrong with me.
412
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:17,780
Wow. You want half
a breakfast burrito?
413
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,749
No, I'm good.
I seriously thought
414
00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:21,151
maybe I couldn't do
hard drugs anymore
415
00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:23,353
'cause of all the downsides
the next day,
416
00:17:23,453 --> 00:17:24,987
but this, like,
changes everything.
417
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,557
There's another rager at Mable
Thompson's house tomorrow.
418
00:17:27,657 --> 00:17:29,892
I can't fuckin' wait.
419
00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:38,134
Stan, Kenny, we need your help.
420
00:17:38,234 --> 00:17:39,669
Hey, where have you guys been?
421
00:17:39,769 --> 00:17:42,338
We've been out navigating
the American health care system.
422
00:17:42,438 --> 00:17:43,873
I almost died.
423
00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:46,075
It's so fucked up,
you guys don't even understand.
424
00:17:46,176 --> 00:17:47,343
What's fucked up?
425
00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:48,678
They just purposely
make it difficult
426
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:49,945
for people to pay for
what they need.
427
00:17:50,045 --> 00:17:51,714
The insurance companies,
the hospitals
428
00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:53,383
and the drug companies,
they're making obesity drugs
429
00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:56,586
more expensive in America than
anywhere else in the world.
430
00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,120
There are celebrities
and rich people
431
00:17:58,221 --> 00:17:59,855
using these new drugs
to lose a few extra pounds,
432
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,524
and meanwhile,
Cartman's fat as fuck
433
00:18:01,624 --> 00:18:03,559
- and can't get any help.
- Dude, what do you want us
434
00:18:03,659 --> 00:18:04,994
- to do about it?
- Yeah.
435
00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:06,996
I was watching a bunch
of videos online.
436
00:18:07,096 --> 00:18:09,765
They show how you can order raw
semaglutide from a factory
437
00:18:09,865 --> 00:18:11,601
in India and mix
your own injections
438
00:18:11,701 --> 00:18:13,135
for next to nothing.
439
00:18:13,236 --> 00:18:15,205
You mean, like, we're gonna get
powder from India,
440
00:18:15,305 --> 00:18:18,441
and make it into obesity shots
for Cartman ourselves?
441
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:20,476
Who needs hospitals
and insurance
442
00:18:20,576 --> 00:18:23,479
when we have TikTok and YouTube?
443
00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:26,616
♪ ♪
444
00:18:32,188 --> 00:18:35,691
♪ It's my life,
whatever I wanna do ♪
445
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:37,460
♪ It's my life ♪
446
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,128
♪ Wherever I wanna go ♪
447
00:18:39,229 --> 00:18:46,168
♪ It's my life,
whom I wanna love, uh-oh ♪
448
00:18:46,269 --> 00:18:50,373
♪ It's my life,
whatever I wanna talk ♪
449
00:18:50,473 --> 00:18:54,043
♪ It's my life,
wherever I wanna walk ♪
450
00:18:54,143 --> 00:18:55,811
♪ It's my life ♪
451
00:18:55,911 --> 00:19:00,683
♪ Whom I wanna leave,
uh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪
452
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:05,087
The semiglutides are here!
453
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:08,391
♪ People think that
I'm somewhat mental ♪
454
00:19:08,491 --> 00:19:12,795
♪ They don't know I am
very sentimental ♪
455
00:19:12,895 --> 00:19:14,297
♪ Na, na, na, na ♪
456
00:19:14,397 --> 00:19:15,831
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
457
00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:19,902
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na ♪
458
00:19:20,002 --> 00:19:21,571
♪ ♪
459
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,616
♪ ♪
460
00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:38,087
Is something wrong
with the food, Randy?
461
00:19:38,187 --> 00:19:41,156
No, no, it was great.
462
00:19:41,257 --> 00:19:42,925
You're done?
463
00:19:43,025 --> 00:19:44,494
You want to just
skip to dessert?
464
00:19:44,594 --> 00:19:45,528
I made your favorite pie.
465
00:19:45,628 --> 00:19:47,730
Ooh, pie?
466
00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:50,132
Yeah, maybe later.
467
00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:55,438
Kids, can you leave the table
so I can have a talk
468
00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:56,872
with your father?
469
00:19:56,972 --> 00:20:00,776
What? What'd I do?
Don't leave.
470
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:04,880
Randy, I think I know
what's going on.
471
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,316
You do?
472
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:09,485
Yeah. You keep saying
you're going to the gym
473
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:13,088
and doing Pilates, but then
you aren't eating anything.
474
00:20:13,188 --> 00:20:16,225
Are you doing those new drugs
everyone's doing?
475
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:19,662
What? Oh, my God.
476
00:20:19,762 --> 00:20:21,263
What? Sharon.
477
00:20:21,364 --> 00:20:24,099
I am not doing drugs.
478
00:20:24,199 --> 00:20:25,768
Just be honest, Randy.
479
00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:28,904
Sharon, I smoke weed
and drink beer. That's it.
480
00:20:29,004 --> 00:20:32,642
I can't believe you would
even think I would--
481
00:20:32,742 --> 00:20:35,578
- Sharon!
- Then how are you not eating?
482
00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:36,946
What--? I ate.
483
00:20:37,046 --> 00:20:38,948
Just 'cause I don't eat
as much as you.
484
00:20:39,048 --> 00:20:41,116
Just 'cause I'm doing Pilates,
working out and stuff.
485
00:20:41,216 --> 00:20:43,353
Sorry, I don't eat
as much as you do.
486
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:46,389
I'm just trying to be better.
Not on drugs.
487
00:20:46,489 --> 00:20:48,591
Why would you even suggest
that I'm doing drugs?
488
00:20:48,691 --> 00:20:50,159
Are you drunk?
489
00:20:51,561 --> 00:20:53,796
♪ ♪
490
00:21:15,418 --> 00:21:16,819
(doorbell rings)
491
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,455
Randy.
492
00:21:19,555 --> 00:21:21,424
Thank God.
We have a big problem.
493
00:21:21,524 --> 00:21:23,258
There's no more drugs!
494
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:24,994
No more drugs?
495
00:21:25,094 --> 00:21:27,029
- Do you have any?
- Well, no.
496
00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:29,599
- I thought you guys
always had plenty--
- Shit.
497
00:21:29,699 --> 00:21:31,233
Randy doesn't have any either.
498
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,703
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no, no.
- Goddamn it.
499
00:21:33,803 --> 00:21:35,438
We've been totally cut off.
500
00:21:35,538 --> 00:21:36,872
W-W-What, what happened?
501
00:21:36,972 --> 00:21:38,841
There's been
a nationwide crackdown
502
00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:40,109
because doctors are saying
503
00:21:40,209 --> 00:21:42,177
some people are abusing
the drugs.
504
00:21:42,277 --> 00:21:44,680
Well, what else are you
supposed to do with drugs?
505
00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:46,616
What are we gonna do?
506
00:21:46,716 --> 00:21:48,250
I know what we should do.
507
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,986
Let's go knock off a pharmacy.
They have plenty of drugs.
508
00:21:51,086 --> 00:21:52,388
- Good idea.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
509
00:21:52,488 --> 00:21:53,989
I know for a fact
510
00:21:54,089 --> 00:21:55,858
the pharmacy on Tanner Street
has a whole new supply.
511
00:21:55,958 --> 00:21:57,627
So we'll break in and take 'em.
512
00:21:57,727 --> 00:21:59,161
(overlapping agreements)
513
00:21:59,261 --> 00:22:00,830
- We can do it.
- Yes.
- Uh, I think, ladies,
514
00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:02,598
we can get in a lot of trouble
for doing that.
515
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:04,066
That's right.
516
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:06,836
So we have to make sure
nobody knows it's us.
517
00:22:12,007 --> 00:22:14,577
Nobody move.
This is a holdup.
518
00:22:14,677 --> 00:22:16,579
Stay calm and nobody gets hurt.
519
00:22:16,679 --> 00:22:18,013
Keep your hands up.
520
00:22:18,113 --> 00:22:19,949
This will all be over soon.
521
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:23,218
Go make sure
the back doors are locked.
522
00:22:23,318 --> 00:22:25,688
Ah... Okay. God.
523
00:22:25,788 --> 00:22:27,923
Oh, come on, Mrs. Tucker,
Mrs. Neely,
524
00:22:28,023 --> 00:22:29,291
how many times
do I have to tell you
525
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:30,993
these drugs aren't meant
for people like you.
526
00:22:31,093 --> 00:22:33,095
How do you even know who we are?
527
00:22:33,195 --> 00:22:35,230
Because you ladies can't help
but expose your stomachs
528
00:22:35,330 --> 00:22:38,033
everywhere you go, no matter
how inappropriate it is. Ah!
529
00:22:38,133 --> 00:22:41,336
Come on, get the drugs
and let's get out of here.
530
00:22:41,437 --> 00:22:42,872
That's all of it.
531
00:22:42,972 --> 00:22:44,607
- All right, come on. Let's go.
- All right. Come on.
532
00:22:44,707 --> 00:22:46,175
- Let's go!
- Let's get out of here.
- Let's go. Let's go.
533
00:22:46,275 --> 00:22:47,843
Hey, there's
some OxyContin and Vicodin,
534
00:22:47,943 --> 00:22:49,344
should I grab that, too?
535
00:22:51,681 --> 00:22:53,282
No?
536
00:22:57,386 --> 00:22:59,188
(whirring)
537
00:23:02,057 --> 00:23:04,126
All right, that should be good.
Kill the switch.
538
00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:07,062
- (clicks)
- Okay, Kenny, bring over
the injector.
539
00:23:12,334 --> 00:23:13,368
It's done?
540
00:23:14,336 --> 00:23:15,505
It's done.
541
00:23:15,605 --> 00:23:17,039
You know, Cartman,
this could be dangerous.
542
00:23:17,139 --> 00:23:18,574
If you don't want to--
543
00:23:18,674 --> 00:23:21,376
To hell with danger.
This can change my life, Kyle.
544
00:23:22,645 --> 00:23:24,179
Let's do it.
545
00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:25,481
Kenny.
546
00:23:29,351 --> 00:23:30,753
Well...
547
00:23:32,488 --> 00:23:33,889
Here it goes, guys.
548
00:23:41,664 --> 00:23:42,832
Cartman?
549
00:23:42,932 --> 00:23:44,700
Do you feel anything?
550
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,836
I think so.
551
00:23:46,936 --> 00:23:48,604
- Get me some Cocoa Puffs.
- What?
552
00:23:48,704 --> 00:23:50,239
I need to make a cereal bomb.
553
00:23:50,339 --> 00:23:53,108
Get me Cocoa Puffs, Cap'n Crunch
and a bucket of KFC. Hurry.
554
00:24:04,554 --> 00:24:06,656
- So, what's going on?
- We don't know.
555
00:24:06,756 --> 00:24:08,591
Cartman's been in the bathroom
with the bucket of cereal
556
00:24:08,691 --> 00:24:09,859
for almost 30 minutes.
557
00:24:09,959 --> 00:24:11,894
Dude, Cartman,
what are you doing?
558
00:24:12,762 --> 00:24:14,163
(lock clicking)
559
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:21,203
Look at this.
560
00:24:21,303 --> 00:24:22,938
Look at what?
561
00:24:23,038 --> 00:24:25,340
There's two chicken thighs
in there.
562
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,942
So?
563
00:24:27,042 --> 00:24:30,212
So? Do you know the last time
I couldn't finish a cereal bomb?
564
00:24:30,312 --> 00:24:32,114
I think these drugs
totally work!
565
00:24:32,214 --> 00:24:33,248
They do?
566
00:24:33,348 --> 00:24:34,449
My favorite thing
in the world is
567
00:24:34,550 --> 00:24:35,785
eating a cereal bomb
and taking a shit
568
00:24:35,885 --> 00:24:37,452
at the same time
to make more room.
569
00:24:37,553 --> 00:24:39,121
But I got to the last two thighs
at the bottom and I was like,
570
00:24:39,221 --> 00:24:41,356
"Wait a minute,
I think I'm full."
571
00:24:41,456 --> 00:24:44,359
I've never known that feeling
before in my life, you guys.
572
00:24:44,459 --> 00:24:45,561
But I'm full.
573
00:24:45,661 --> 00:24:46,762
You really can feel
a difference?
574
00:24:46,862 --> 00:24:48,430
I totally feel a difference.
575
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,132
I always drink the chocolatey
chicken milk left at the bottom,
576
00:24:50,232 --> 00:24:51,533
but it's still sitting there.
577
00:24:51,634 --> 00:24:53,035
Wow!
578
00:24:53,135 --> 00:24:55,838
Dude, I think we did it, Kyle.
What do we do now?
579
00:24:56,839 --> 00:24:58,040
Now?
580
00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,142
Now, we're gonna make
a whole lot more.
581
00:25:00,242 --> 00:25:02,044
We're not gonna just
help Cartman,
582
00:25:02,144 --> 00:25:03,946
we're gonna help
everyone in America
583
00:25:04,046 --> 00:25:06,215
who can't afford obesity drugs.
584
00:25:12,722 --> 00:25:16,959
All of us in the sugar business
have a big problem.
585
00:25:17,059 --> 00:25:18,460
We designed our cereals
586
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,363
so that people would always
crave more and more.
587
00:25:21,463 --> 00:25:23,866
But now obesity drugs
are making people
588
00:25:23,966 --> 00:25:26,568
less cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
589
00:25:26,669 --> 00:25:28,037
Ain't that right, Sonny?
590
00:25:28,137 --> 00:25:31,506
We're talking a 60% hit
to the business.
591
00:25:31,607 --> 00:25:34,977
These obesity drugs are
an attack on all of us.
592
00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:37,146
Even you, Cap'n Crunch.
593
00:25:38,380 --> 00:25:40,349
The drugs are moving in
on our turf.
594
00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:42,551
And we'll all be
in trouble soon.
595
00:25:42,652 --> 00:25:44,754
Trix Rabbit...
596
00:25:44,854 --> 00:25:46,722
Tony le Tigre
597
00:25:46,822 --> 00:25:48,323
and Sugar Bear.
598
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,259
We're only losing
all the rich people.
599
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,061
We'll be fine as long
as lower-income people
600
00:25:52,161 --> 00:25:53,663
keep taking Lizzo.
601
00:25:53,763 --> 00:25:55,097
- Lizzo, yeah.
- Lizzo, that's right.
- Yep, yep.
602
00:25:55,197 --> 00:25:56,431
- Lizzo.
- BOSS: We can't just keep
603
00:25:56,531 --> 00:25:58,868
pushing body positivity
on people
604
00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:00,836
because there's a new threat--
605
00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:02,938
compounding pharmacies.
606
00:26:04,139 --> 00:26:05,975
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your new friends
607
00:26:06,075 --> 00:26:07,476
at South Park
Compounding Pharmacy.
608
00:26:07,576 --> 00:26:09,679
We are now taking orders
for our affordable
609
00:26:09,779 --> 00:26:12,648
obesity drugs
available to everyone.
610
00:26:13,515 --> 00:26:14,650
We're not here
to just make money,
611
00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:16,418
we're here to make things fair.
612
00:26:16,518 --> 00:26:18,654
- And to make some money.
- Our semaglutides are safe
613
00:26:18,754 --> 00:26:20,790
and even cheaper
than a Little Debbie snack cake.
614
00:26:20,890 --> 00:26:23,125
Motherfucker.
615
00:26:23,225 --> 00:26:24,359
So just "Like and Subscribe"
616
00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:25,928
if you want to get on the list
617
00:26:26,028 --> 00:26:27,029
and we will get everyone
who wants it
618
00:26:27,129 --> 00:26:29,264
their semaglutides.
619
00:26:29,364 --> 00:26:31,834
These people think
they can just come in
620
00:26:31,934 --> 00:26:34,336
and mess with everything
we've built?
621
00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:38,073
I say we kill every last
fucking one of 'em.
622
00:26:47,516 --> 00:26:49,551
♪ ♪
623
00:26:58,293 --> 00:26:59,929
(groans)
624
00:27:00,029 --> 00:27:01,563
(gasps)
625
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,002
Oh, my God!
626
00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:12,041
Mom, Mom! Look at me.
627
00:27:12,141 --> 00:27:14,276
Eric! Oh, my goodness.
628
00:27:14,376 --> 00:27:17,079
It worked, Mom. I'm normal.
629
00:27:21,483 --> 00:27:24,854
- Kyle, Kenny!
- Whoa. Cartman?
630
00:27:24,954 --> 00:27:26,488
It worked, you guys.
Check me out.
631
00:27:26,588 --> 00:27:28,090
(muffled):
It's amazing, dude.
632
00:27:28,190 --> 00:27:29,859
- Yeah, and guess what, Kyle?
- What?
633
00:27:29,959 --> 00:27:32,661
You're a big dumb Jew
and your breath stinks like ass.
634
00:27:32,762 --> 00:27:33,996
- What?
- Yeah.
635
00:27:34,096 --> 00:27:35,497
And, Kenny, you have greasy hair
636
00:27:35,597 --> 00:27:37,332
'cause your family's too poor
to afford shampoo.
637
00:27:37,432 --> 00:27:39,769
- Dude, fuck you.
- What are you gonna say back?
638
00:27:39,869 --> 00:27:41,904
Nothing.
Oh, my God, it worked!
639
00:27:42,004 --> 00:27:43,438
Hey, you guys.
640
00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:44,706
Wow, Cartman?
641
00:27:44,807 --> 00:27:46,909
Yeah. You all have zits
on your tits.
642
00:27:47,009 --> 00:27:49,011
You have big zits but tiny tits.
643
00:27:49,111 --> 00:27:50,712
Oh. Oh, yeah?
644
00:27:50,813 --> 00:27:53,148
What you got?
You got nothing!
645
00:27:53,248 --> 00:27:55,117
You want to know what else,
Pakistan?
646
00:27:55,217 --> 00:27:57,086
You all have stupid haircuts.
647
00:27:57,186 --> 00:27:58,754
- (crowd exclaiming)
- CARTMAN: Yeah.
648
00:27:58,854 --> 00:28:00,122
You're haircuts are dumb
649
00:28:00,222 --> 00:28:02,291
and that's why your women
cover their heads.
650
00:28:03,258 --> 00:28:06,228
Yeah! Yes...
(gasps)
651
00:28:08,330 --> 00:28:10,365
The-the fuck is this?
652
00:28:14,536 --> 00:28:16,371
Hmm.
653
00:28:16,471 --> 00:28:17,606
Oh?
654
00:28:17,706 --> 00:28:19,308
Oh...?
655
00:28:22,277 --> 00:28:23,645
Yeah, well, it's official.
656
00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:26,081
It's been one week
and Eric's lost 1.3 pounds.
657
00:28:26,181 --> 00:28:27,749
1.3 pounds?
Is that good?
658
00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:29,018
I'd say it's good.
659
00:28:29,118 --> 00:28:30,552
This is so great, you guys.
660
00:28:30,652 --> 00:28:32,788
Last night, I had a dream
about all the amazing things
661
00:28:32,888 --> 00:28:34,089
I'm gonna do when I'm skinny.
662
00:28:34,189 --> 00:28:35,357
Thank you, guys, so much.
663
00:28:35,457 --> 00:28:37,126
We just got
another order, fellas.
664
00:28:37,226 --> 00:28:38,928
50 more cases heading out.
665
00:28:39,028 --> 00:28:40,329
50 more? That's great.
666
00:28:40,429 --> 00:28:41,897
How's it going
on the injectors, Kenny?
667
00:28:41,997 --> 00:28:43,933
(muffled): It's going good,
just trying to keep up.
668
00:28:44,033 --> 00:28:45,567
Well, it's been a week, Cartman.
669
00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:47,202
So, are you ready
for your second dose?
670
00:28:47,302 --> 00:28:49,471
I'm so ready, Kyle.
It's really working.
671
00:28:49,571 --> 00:28:51,140
This morning, for breakfast,
I couldn't even finish
672
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,842
half a cereal bomb
on the toilet.
673
00:28:52,942 --> 00:28:54,309
Okay, tomorrow, maybe let's go
674
00:28:54,409 --> 00:28:56,011
for no cereal bombs
on the toilet.
675
00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,546
All right, here's
your next dose, Cartman.
676
00:28:57,646 --> 00:29:00,182
- You know the drill.
- I sure do.
677
00:29:01,550 --> 00:29:02,551
(guns click)
678
00:29:02,651 --> 00:29:03,953
- Hands up!
- This is a holdup.
679
00:29:04,053 --> 00:29:05,955
Nobody move
and nobody gets hurt.
680
00:29:06,055 --> 00:29:08,657
- Hand over the obesity drugs.
- What?
681
00:29:09,524 --> 00:29:10,826
I got 'em, I got 'em!
682
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,528
Get it all.
There's more over here.
683
00:29:15,364 --> 00:29:17,599
- No, this is mine.
- Give it to me, fatso.
684
00:29:17,699 --> 00:29:18,901
Fuck you, I need that.
685
00:29:19,001 --> 00:29:21,203
Give me the peptide,
you little fat fuck!
686
00:29:22,071 --> 00:29:24,606
- We got it.
- Let's go.
- Let's get out of here.
687
00:29:24,706 --> 00:29:26,575
- Okay, go!
- Drive, drive, drive!
688
00:29:26,675 --> 00:29:28,477
(tires screeching)
689
00:29:32,214 --> 00:29:34,149
Come on, give me some
of that shit!
690
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:45,127
I'm telling you, Sheila, these
new drugs are pretty amazing.
691
00:29:45,227 --> 00:29:47,529
I was feeling
so ashamed of myself.
692
00:29:47,629 --> 00:29:49,965
Watching Randy go out
and exercise all the time
693
00:29:50,065 --> 00:29:51,533
and not eating as much.
694
00:29:51,633 --> 00:29:54,303
But I just don't have the same
kind of willpower he has.
695
00:29:54,403 --> 00:29:56,171
Which of the drugs
are you on, Sharon?
696
00:29:56,271 --> 00:29:57,639
Ozempic? Mounjaro?
697
00:29:57,739 --> 00:29:59,841
(chuckles)
Oh, no, I talked to my doctor.
698
00:29:59,942 --> 00:30:03,178
He said insurance would only pay
for those if I had diabetes.
699
00:30:03,278 --> 00:30:04,579
But if you can't afford them,
700
00:30:04,679 --> 00:30:06,381
then how are you
managing your weight?
701
00:30:06,481 --> 00:30:08,050
Don't you know, Sheila?
702
00:30:08,150 --> 00:30:09,985
Now there's
a whole new obesity drug
703
00:30:10,085 --> 00:30:12,721
for those of us who can't
afford Ozempic and Mounjaro.
704
00:30:12,821 --> 00:30:15,057
I've controlled all my cravings
to be thinner...
705
00:30:15,157 --> 00:30:16,525
with Lizzo!
706
00:30:16,625 --> 00:30:19,294
♪ Oh, oh, oh, it's Lizzo ♪
707
00:30:19,394 --> 00:30:20,963
NARRATOR: FDA-approved Lizzo
708
00:30:21,063 --> 00:30:23,132
makes you feel good
about your weight.
709
00:30:23,232 --> 00:30:24,533
And it costs
90% less than Ozempic.
710
00:30:24,633 --> 00:30:27,802
I've lowered my standards
and my expectations.
711
00:30:27,903 --> 00:30:29,404
♪ It's Lizzo ♪
712
00:30:29,504 --> 00:30:30,805
NARRATOR: In case studies,
70% of patients on Lizzo
713
00:30:30,906 --> 00:30:33,042
no longer cared
how much they weighed.
714
00:30:33,142 --> 00:30:34,543
I don't give two shits.
715
00:30:34,643 --> 00:30:36,378
♪ Oh, oh, oh, it's Lizzo. ♪
716
00:30:36,478 --> 00:30:38,880
NARRATOR: Lizzo helps you
eat everything you want
717
00:30:38,981 --> 00:30:40,449
and keep physical activity
to a minimum.
718
00:30:40,549 --> 00:30:41,516
Some patients report
constipation
719
00:30:41,616 --> 00:30:42,751
while listening to Lizzo.
720
00:30:42,851 --> 00:30:44,286
Stop listening to Lizzo
721
00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:46,655
if you experience
suicidal thoughts.
722
00:30:46,755 --> 00:30:48,457
Serious side effects
may include pancreatitis,
723
00:30:48,557 --> 00:30:51,593
hypothermia and literally
shitting out your ears.
724
00:30:51,693 --> 00:30:53,028
(screams)
725
00:30:53,128 --> 00:30:54,896
Are you living
with concerns of obesity?
726
00:30:54,997 --> 00:30:58,800
Ask about the power of
not giving a fuck, with Lizzo.
727
00:31:06,208 --> 00:31:08,810
Oh, hey, Randy.
How was the party?
728
00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:10,245
It was, uh...
729
00:31:11,013 --> 00:31:12,381
It was not great.
730
00:31:12,481 --> 00:31:14,183
Oh, you didn't rage?
731
00:31:14,283 --> 00:31:16,051
Oh, we raged.
732
00:31:16,986 --> 00:31:20,189
I think there's something
wrong with these drugs.
733
00:31:20,289 --> 00:31:23,058
I was there raging again
with a bunch of hot women
734
00:31:23,158 --> 00:31:25,760
and then suddenly, I was like,
735
00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:28,763
I don't know if I feel
like doing this anymore.
736
00:31:28,863 --> 00:31:31,100
Like, I felt satisfied.
737
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,103
With any drugs, I always want
to do more and more and more.
738
00:31:34,203 --> 00:31:35,404
But suddenly with these drugs,
739
00:31:35,504 --> 00:31:38,440
I feel like I actually
want things less.
740
00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:40,042
Does that make any sense?
741
00:31:40,142 --> 00:31:41,276
Not at all.
742
00:31:41,376 --> 00:31:43,045
It's like, you know,
with good drugs,
743
00:31:43,145 --> 00:31:44,846
they make you just
want and lust,
744
00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:47,549
but those drugs
also make your dick not work.
745
00:31:47,649 --> 00:31:51,086
But with these drugs,
you don't really crave anything
746
00:31:51,186 --> 00:31:53,055
and your dick totally works.
747
00:31:53,155 --> 00:31:55,157
Look, man, you're talking crazy.
748
00:31:55,257 --> 00:31:56,958
I think maybe
you've just fallen in
749
00:31:57,059 --> 00:31:59,228
with a bad group of people.
750
00:31:59,328 --> 00:32:02,431
Yeah. In a bad group of people,
751
00:32:02,531 --> 00:32:04,499
doing a bunch of drugs.
752
00:32:04,599 --> 00:32:09,271
Randy, you've got to get away
from those MILFs.
753
00:32:12,907 --> 00:32:13,908
(phone rings)
754
00:32:14,009 --> 00:32:15,844
South Park Compounding Pharmacy.
755
00:32:15,944 --> 00:32:17,379
Oh, yes, ma'am, we'll
have your obesity drugs
756
00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:18,580
to you really soon.
757
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,116
We had a bit of a... robbery.
758
00:32:21,216 --> 00:32:23,318
Well, we're not
really sure when.
759
00:32:23,418 --> 00:32:25,387
Yes, ma'am, we understand
how serious it is.
760
00:32:25,487 --> 00:32:26,755
No, no, don't take the Lizzo.
761
00:32:26,855 --> 00:32:28,657
We'll-we'll have
a new supply shortly, okay?
762
00:32:28,757 --> 00:32:31,293
- Fellas! You gotta come quick!
- What's wrong?
763
00:32:31,393 --> 00:32:33,162
It's Eric.
He says he's giving up.
764
00:32:33,262 --> 00:32:34,429
H-He bought a bunch of junk food
765
00:32:34,529 --> 00:32:35,664
and he's gonna
mix it all together!
766
00:32:35,764 --> 00:32:37,399
Cartman's making
another cereal bomb?
767
00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:39,634
It's a cereal bomb, but topped
with Twinkies and gravy.
768
00:32:39,734 --> 00:32:41,636
He said it's called
an Oppenheimer.
769
00:32:48,443 --> 00:32:50,179
Cartman, what are you doing?
770
00:32:50,279 --> 00:32:51,580
The drugs are wearing off, Kyle.
771
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,315
I didn't get my second dose.
772
00:32:53,415 --> 00:32:54,583
I just want to make
an Oppenheimer
773
00:32:54,683 --> 00:32:56,251
and forget the whole thing.
774
00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:59,988
That's it?
You're just gonna give up?
775
00:33:00,089 --> 00:33:01,523
I don't want to hope anymore.
776
00:33:01,623 --> 00:33:03,092
Well, you got to hope, Cartman.
You hope
777
00:33:03,192 --> 00:33:05,660
and you work instead
of turning to shit like that!
778
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,863
It's all just making it worse,
Kyle. Don't you get it?
779
00:33:08,963 --> 00:33:10,332
Knowing there's a cure.
780
00:33:10,432 --> 00:33:13,502
Knowing I can have willpower
injected into my body.
781
00:33:13,602 --> 00:33:15,036
It's all just made me
dream about
782
00:33:15,137 --> 00:33:16,805
what my future can be like.
783
00:33:16,905 --> 00:33:18,373
But I realize now
that those dreams
784
00:33:18,473 --> 00:33:20,041
are never gonna come true.
785
00:33:20,809 --> 00:33:23,445
Cartman, your dreams
are going to come true.
786
00:33:23,545 --> 00:33:25,647
- No, they won't.
- Yes, they will.
787
00:33:25,747 --> 00:33:27,249
You'll do everything
you dreamed about,
788
00:33:27,349 --> 00:33:29,351
you just have to fight
for those dreams.
789
00:33:30,985 --> 00:33:32,854
I don't have the willpower
that you do.
790
00:33:32,954 --> 00:33:35,157
Just come back
to the pharmacy with us.
791
00:33:35,257 --> 00:33:36,391
We're not gonna quit.
792
00:33:36,491 --> 00:33:37,759
But all our shit got stolen.
793
00:33:37,859 --> 00:33:39,361
My obesity drugs
are with some women
794
00:33:39,461 --> 00:33:40,429
who don't even need them.
795
00:33:40,529 --> 00:33:41,863
So, are we gonna let them win?
796
00:33:41,963 --> 00:33:43,632
People can be as unfair
as they want.
797
00:33:43,732 --> 00:33:45,567
But as long as
there's a factory in India,
798
00:33:45,667 --> 00:33:48,770
I will never stop making
obesity drugs for the needy.
799
00:33:54,042 --> 00:33:56,077
(machinery whirring)
800
00:33:57,045 --> 00:33:58,647
♪ ♪
801
00:34:03,285 --> 00:34:05,387
This is the place.
802
00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,509
Little Debbie!
803
00:34:33,047 --> 00:34:36,851
You think you can sell
your drugs on our fuckin' turf?
804
00:34:36,951 --> 00:34:39,688
Only one drug
is king in America.
805
00:34:39,788 --> 00:34:41,790
And that drug is sugar.
806
00:34:47,996 --> 00:34:51,099
One of the largest
manufacturers of semaglutide
807
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,369
was attacked today
by body positivity activists.
808
00:34:54,469 --> 00:34:56,605
Our own Bill Norman has more.
809
00:34:56,705 --> 00:34:59,408
Tom, the advocates
for body positivity
810
00:34:59,508 --> 00:35:01,910
broke into this
obesity medicine facility
811
00:35:02,010 --> 00:35:04,346
and opened fire
on everyone inside.
812
00:35:04,446 --> 00:35:07,516
The terrorists claimed
that obesity is not a disease
813
00:35:07,616 --> 00:35:09,251
and that every body is beautiful
814
00:35:09,351 --> 00:35:11,586
as they then burned
the factory to the ground.
815
00:35:11,686 --> 00:35:14,623
The identity of the attackers
is still unknown,
816
00:35:14,723 --> 00:35:16,391
but one member
of the militant group
817
00:35:16,491 --> 00:35:18,460
sent this anonymous message.
818
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,529
(distorted):
Now instead of obesity drugs,
819
00:35:20,629 --> 00:35:22,397
people will have to rely on
good things,
820
00:35:22,497 --> 00:35:25,300
like self-esteem
and body positivity.
821
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,768
They're grrreat!
822
00:35:26,868 --> 00:35:29,304
Does this mean I'm not
gonna get my next dose?
823
00:35:29,404 --> 00:35:30,639
I'm just gonna stay fat?
824
00:35:30,739 --> 00:35:32,006
What the hell
is wrong with people?
825
00:35:32,106 --> 00:35:34,175
Am I just gonna
stay fucking fat, Kyle?
826
00:35:34,276 --> 00:35:35,677
- No, we're gonna do
something else.
- But the body positivity people
827
00:35:35,777 --> 00:35:37,479
are just gonna
destroy all the drugs
828
00:35:37,579 --> 00:35:39,113
- and I'm gonna be fat.
- You are not gonna be
fat, Cartman.
829
00:35:39,214 --> 00:35:40,815
- I'm gonna be fat. Yes, I am.
- Listen to me.
830
00:35:40,915 --> 00:35:42,217
- I'm gonna be fat forever!
- You're not gonna be fat!
831
00:35:42,317 --> 00:35:43,718
You can't do anything.
They have all the power.
832
00:35:43,818 --> 00:35:44,786
We'll get the drugs
somewhere else.
833
00:35:44,886 --> 00:35:46,087
They want to keep me this way.
834
00:35:46,187 --> 00:35:47,389
We just have to keep
working harder.
835
00:35:47,489 --> 00:35:48,657
I'm gonna be fat as fuck, Kyle!
836
00:35:48,757 --> 00:35:48,957
We're gonna fuckin'
figure it out!
837
00:35:50,925 --> 00:35:52,794
Ugh. Ooh.
838
00:35:52,894 --> 00:35:54,128
Cartman?
839
00:35:54,229 --> 00:35:56,598
I just got to get
my next dose soon, you guys.
840
00:35:56,698 --> 00:35:58,933
Something's going on down there.
841
00:35:59,033 --> 00:36:01,135
(farting)
842
00:36:02,237 --> 00:36:04,138
(farting continues)
843
00:36:06,708 --> 00:36:09,944
(farting loudly)
844
00:36:10,044 --> 00:36:11,613
It's okay,
you're just experiencing
845
00:36:11,713 --> 00:36:14,449
some side effects
from your medication.
846
00:36:16,785 --> 00:36:20,522
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
847
00:36:20,622 --> 00:36:21,790
It's all right, Mrs. Marsh.
848
00:36:21,890 --> 00:36:23,024
We've been seeing
a lot of this lately
849
00:36:23,124 --> 00:36:24,693
with people taking Lizzo.
850
00:36:24,793 --> 00:36:28,597
Now, are you mostly defecating
out your anus or out your ears?
851
00:36:28,697 --> 00:36:30,465
M-My ears.
852
00:36:30,565 --> 00:36:32,534
Yup, all right,
let's take a look.
853
00:36:33,402 --> 00:36:35,537
Uh-huh. Yep.
854
00:36:35,637 --> 00:36:36,838
Okay.
855
00:36:36,938 --> 00:36:38,373
Well, that confirms it,
Mrs. Marsh.
856
00:36:38,473 --> 00:36:40,575
I'm afraid with all
the Lizzo you've been takin',
857
00:36:40,675 --> 00:36:42,877
you've given yourself
"diabeartes."
858
00:36:42,977 --> 00:36:46,114
- What? I have diabetes?
- Diab-ear-tes.
859
00:36:46,214 --> 00:36:49,651
It's a mild form of diabetes
that occurs mostly in the ears.
860
00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:51,286
It's something
you'll have to manage
861
00:36:51,386 --> 00:36:52,554
for the rest of your life.
862
00:36:52,654 --> 00:36:54,122
But that's really good news.
863
00:36:54,222 --> 00:36:56,224
H-How the hell
is that good news?
864
00:36:56,325 --> 00:37:00,128
Because! Now I can write you
a prescription for Ozempic!
865
00:37:00,228 --> 00:37:02,030
With your condition,
you're finally eligible
866
00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:03,865
for semaglutides.
867
00:37:03,965 --> 00:37:06,935
I-I can get on Ozempic now?
868
00:37:07,035 --> 00:37:08,337
Yes, ma'am.
869
00:37:08,437 --> 00:37:10,004
Congratulations on
your diabeartes, Mrs. Marsh.
870
00:37:10,104 --> 00:37:13,041
We'll see you back here
looking skinny in a few weeks.
871
00:37:16,678 --> 00:37:19,381
All right, next.
Come on in, Mrs. Munoz.
872
00:37:20,148 --> 00:37:22,551
Experiencing some side effects
with your Lizzo?
873
00:37:22,651 --> 00:37:23,885
- Yes.
- (farts)
874
00:37:23,985 --> 00:37:25,019
(moans)
875
00:37:26,788 --> 00:37:29,391
Come on, dude.
You don't want to do this.
876
00:37:29,491 --> 00:37:30,992
CARTMAN:
Yes, I do.
877
00:37:31,092 --> 00:37:33,362
Eric, there's so much
to live for.
878
00:37:33,462 --> 00:37:34,663
What's he doing?
879
00:37:34,763 --> 00:37:35,930
Cartman's in there
with a cereal bomb
880
00:37:36,030 --> 00:37:36,831
that he says is ten times
more destructive
881
00:37:36,931 --> 00:37:38,099
than an Oppenheimer.
882
00:37:38,199 --> 00:37:39,401
He says it's called
a Stormy Daniels.
883
00:37:39,501 --> 00:37:40,635
Cartman!
884
00:37:40,735 --> 00:37:42,571
Cartman, stop!
I have a solution!
885
00:37:42,671 --> 00:37:45,640
CARTMAN:
Forget it. I'm going down
with a Stormy Daniels.
886
00:37:45,740 --> 00:37:47,308
No, Cartman, stop eating!
887
00:37:47,409 --> 00:37:48,810
I found more semaglutide.
888
00:37:48,910 --> 00:37:51,446
It's gonna be here
within the hour.
889
00:37:51,546 --> 00:37:53,247
(lock clicking)
890
00:37:59,854 --> 00:38:01,322
Go easy, Cartman.
891
00:38:01,423 --> 00:38:03,592
What do you mean it's
gonna be here within the hour?
892
00:38:03,692 --> 00:38:05,694
I found another supplier
in North Carolina.
893
00:38:05,794 --> 00:38:07,862
They make raw semaglutides
for all the other drugs.
894
00:38:07,962 --> 00:38:10,231
They let me order a whole truck
of raw powder wholesale.
895
00:38:10,331 --> 00:38:13,334
The app says the truck
is already almost here. See?
896
00:38:13,435 --> 00:38:15,570
As soon as it gets here,
we can make you another dose,
897
00:38:15,670 --> 00:38:17,606
and you'll have
your willpower back.
898
00:38:17,706 --> 00:38:20,174
You just gotta hang on
a little bit longer.
899
00:38:21,910 --> 00:38:24,546
Fine. I won't eat it just yet.
900
00:38:24,646 --> 00:38:25,814
Kenny, put this
in the refrigerator
901
00:38:25,914 --> 00:38:27,248
so the skin doesn't get soggy.
902
00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:28,783
KENNY:
Ew, gross.
903
00:38:28,883 --> 00:38:31,085
Okay, let's be totally ready
when the truck gets here.
904
00:38:31,185 --> 00:38:32,421
Stan, get the biostatic
water ready.
905
00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:34,022
Butters, prepare
another syringe.
906
00:38:34,122 --> 00:38:36,458
The delivery is gonna be here
in the next 40 minutes.
907
00:38:37,225 --> 00:38:40,194
♪ Now I can't help myself
at all ♪
908
00:38:40,294 --> 00:38:45,767
♪ And I get whiskey bent
and hell bound ♪
909
00:38:45,867 --> 00:38:47,602
(truck downshifts)
910
00:38:47,702 --> 00:38:51,773
♪ Play me some songs
about a ramblin' man. ♪
911
00:38:52,807 --> 00:38:54,643
(air brakes hiss)
912
00:38:54,743 --> 00:38:57,011
Got some construction going on.
913
00:38:59,614 --> 00:39:00,949
Seems kind of inappropriate
914
00:39:01,049 --> 00:39:03,952
to wear a midriff shirt
while working, don't it?
915
00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:05,353
Take your foot off the pedal!
916
00:39:05,454 --> 00:39:06,821
How much semaglutide
you got in the back?!
917
00:39:06,921 --> 00:39:09,591
- Hey!
- Get him, girls!
918
00:39:09,691 --> 00:39:10,992
(screams) No!
919
00:39:11,092 --> 00:39:13,127
- (blows landing)
- Stop.
920
00:39:13,227 --> 00:39:14,763
Stop!
921
00:39:14,863 --> 00:39:16,164
Fuck this!
922
00:39:18,032 --> 00:39:19,601
What the hell are you doing?
923
00:39:19,701 --> 00:39:21,002
You're bad people!
924
00:39:21,102 --> 00:39:23,104
I'm getting the fuck
away from you!
925
00:39:23,204 --> 00:39:24,338
Hey!
926
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,408
(screams)
927
00:39:27,509 --> 00:39:28,843
He's taking the drugs!
928
00:39:28,943 --> 00:39:30,311
Get that motherfucker!
929
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:31,980
(tires squealing)
930
00:39:36,685 --> 00:39:37,919
Shit!
931
00:39:52,467 --> 00:39:53,735
Oh, goddamn it.
932
00:39:53,835 --> 00:39:55,369
- What's wrong?
- The truck was almost here
933
00:39:55,470 --> 00:39:57,138
but now it's going
the wrong way again.
934
00:39:58,106 --> 00:39:59,708
What the fuck is this guy doing?
935
00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:10,184
(tires screech)
936
00:40:13,555 --> 00:40:14,523
KYLE:
Oh, for fuck's sake.
937
00:40:14,623 --> 00:40:16,024
Now it's doing that thing
938
00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,626
where it just keeps
spinning around in circles.
939
00:40:17,726 --> 00:40:19,027
Oh, I hate that.
940
00:40:19,127 --> 00:40:21,763
Come on, we got to go
track this asshole down.
941
00:40:23,665 --> 00:40:25,567
- (shouts)
- (tires screech)
942
00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:27,001
Whoa!
943
00:40:27,101 --> 00:40:28,402
Oh!
944
00:40:33,241 --> 00:40:35,176
What the fuck?
945
00:40:35,276 --> 00:40:37,712
The truck went west by Target.
946
00:40:37,812 --> 00:40:39,781
And then went east again.
947
00:40:39,881 --> 00:40:41,916
I think it's over this way now.
948
00:40:42,016 --> 00:40:43,518
I don't get it.
949
00:40:43,618 --> 00:40:45,486
It says the truck is right here.
950
00:40:45,587 --> 00:40:47,121
Uh, there it is.
951
00:40:47,221 --> 00:40:48,489
(Randy shouting)
952
00:40:48,590 --> 00:40:50,224
Oh, shit!
953
00:40:50,324 --> 00:40:52,460
- (brakes squeal)
- (tires screech)
954
00:40:55,697 --> 00:40:56,798
Dad, what are you doing?
955
00:40:56,898 --> 00:40:58,833
Uh, oh, uh...
956
00:40:58,933 --> 00:41:01,469
I'm in deep, Stan.
957
00:41:01,570 --> 00:41:02,771
Daddy's a drug addict.
958
00:41:02,871 --> 00:41:04,673
I should have never worn
959
00:41:04,773 --> 00:41:06,374
this midriff shirt to school.
960
00:41:06,474 --> 00:41:09,377
Certain things just aren't
appropriate to wear.
961
00:41:09,477 --> 00:41:11,479
Oh-oh, look, fellas!
962
00:41:12,647 --> 00:41:14,015
Give us the drugs!
963
00:41:14,115 --> 00:41:15,550
Aw, not them again.
964
00:41:15,650 --> 00:41:17,285
Get in the truck!
965
00:41:18,653 --> 00:41:20,955
Whoa, whoa, wait!
966
00:41:23,057 --> 00:41:25,293
(shouts)
Fellas, help!
967
00:41:29,463 --> 00:41:30,531
You guys, look.
968
00:41:30,632 --> 00:41:31,700
Is that the cops?
969
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,434
What is that?
970
00:41:35,937 --> 00:41:38,039
Destroy that shipment!
971
00:41:38,139 --> 00:41:39,774
Dude, it's Cocoa Puffs bird.
972
00:41:39,874 --> 00:41:42,276
(gunfire)
973
00:41:43,144 --> 00:41:44,646
And-and Cap'n Crunch.
974
00:41:44,746 --> 00:41:46,414
I think that's Cap'n Crunch.
975
00:41:47,181 --> 00:41:50,218
You ain't taking this shit
to your compounding pharmacy!
976
00:41:50,318 --> 00:41:53,087
What's a compounding pharmacy?
977
00:41:54,122 --> 00:41:56,290
- Aah!
- Whoa!
978
00:42:00,929 --> 00:42:03,497
Those are our drugs, fuckos!
979
00:42:15,576 --> 00:42:16,878
(horn blaring)
980
00:42:23,417 --> 00:42:25,053
(screams)
981
00:42:26,287 --> 00:42:28,957
- Aah!
- Tony the Tiger killed Kenny!
982
00:42:37,565 --> 00:42:40,835
Stan, take Daddy's gun
and shoot those MILFs!
983
00:42:40,935 --> 00:42:42,871
No, Dad,
I'm not shooting anyone's mom.
984
00:42:42,971 --> 00:42:45,206
I'll fucking shoot them.
985
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:56,217
♪ Dat-doobie-doobie-dat,
Golden Crisp. ♪
986
00:42:57,218 --> 00:42:59,420
Butters, what are you doing?
987
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:00,955
Oh, hey, Mom.
988
00:43:01,055 --> 00:43:04,592
Butters, you give Mommy
those obesity drugs right now!
989
00:43:04,693 --> 00:43:07,095
But I thought you didn't use
obesity drugs, Mom.
990
00:43:07,195 --> 00:43:09,330
I thought you were
doing Pilates and stuff.
991
00:43:09,430 --> 00:43:11,465
♪ ♪
992
00:43:20,608 --> 00:43:22,043
(shouting)
993
00:43:31,619 --> 00:43:33,554
(screaming)
994
00:43:37,926 --> 00:43:39,527
(tires screeching)
995
00:43:45,734 --> 00:43:47,969
(shouting)
996
00:43:54,909 --> 00:43:57,211
Ooh!
997
00:44:01,950 --> 00:44:03,417
(screams)
998
00:44:04,485 --> 00:44:05,920
Fuck you!
999
00:44:06,020 --> 00:44:07,488
Koo-koo!
1000
00:44:07,588 --> 00:44:09,557
Koo-koo! Koo-koo!
1001
00:44:19,901 --> 00:44:21,936
♪ ♪
1002
00:44:23,071 --> 00:44:25,206
- STAN: The fuck are you doing?
- I can reach it.
1003
00:44:25,306 --> 00:44:26,941
Cartman, get your fat ass
back in the truck.
1004
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:28,442
No, I can get them.
1005
00:44:28,542 --> 00:44:30,311
I can get the obesity drugs.
I can have my hunger
1006
00:44:30,411 --> 00:44:32,246
suppressed for another week.
1007
00:44:34,883 --> 00:44:37,185
(all screaming)
1008
00:44:44,358 --> 00:44:46,027
No!
1009
00:44:46,127 --> 00:44:47,595
Dad, look out!
1010
00:44:48,596 --> 00:44:49,630
Whoa!
1011
00:44:52,967 --> 00:44:55,303
(screaming)
1012
00:45:02,777 --> 00:45:04,813
(tires screeching)
1013
00:45:04,913 --> 00:45:06,680
(air brakes hiss)
1014
00:45:06,781 --> 00:45:08,817
Get the drugs in the garage!
1015
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:10,384
We'll make Cartman's shot first.
1016
00:45:10,484 --> 00:45:13,121
Kyle, what the hell is going on?
1017
00:45:15,323 --> 00:45:16,557
We've got a full order
1018
00:45:16,657 --> 00:45:18,326
of semaglutides
to be given to the needy.
1019
00:45:18,426 --> 00:45:19,794
They're all trying to take it,
but everything in here
1020
00:45:19,894 --> 00:45:21,462
belongs to us.
1021
00:45:26,167 --> 00:45:28,202
(printer whirring)
1022
00:45:32,907 --> 00:45:34,642
Hello.
1023
00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:37,946
Where's our drugs?
1024
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:41,549
Yeah, the, uh,
pharmaceutical company
1025
00:45:41,649 --> 00:45:43,684
you ordered from
was insured with us.
1026
00:45:43,784 --> 00:45:46,387
What do you mean?
We-we don't get them?
1027
00:45:46,487 --> 00:45:47,889
You'll-you'll be able
to get them.
1028
00:45:47,989 --> 00:45:49,991
See, we just work in tandem
with the suppliers,
1029
00:45:50,091 --> 00:45:52,326
so all you'll have to do
is navigate...
1030
00:45:52,426 --> 00:45:54,662
BOTH: ...the American
health care system.
1031
00:45:58,699 --> 00:46:00,734
(crickets chirping)
1032
00:46:01,735 --> 00:46:04,072
♪ ♪
1033
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:13,614
Oh, my God, stop!
1034
00:46:13,714 --> 00:46:17,151
Sharon, you don't want
to mess with that stuff.
1035
00:46:17,251 --> 00:46:20,188
Randy, why are you wearing
one of Shelley's shirts?
1036
00:46:20,288 --> 00:46:23,057
It's time for me
to tell you the truth.
1037
00:46:24,225 --> 00:46:26,560
I told you that
I've been going out on hikes
1038
00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:28,762
and doing Pilates.
1039
00:46:28,863 --> 00:46:30,798
But it's not true.
1040
00:46:30,899 --> 00:46:32,901
I've just been...
1041
00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,403
doing that shit.
1042
00:46:35,503 --> 00:46:36,737
You have?
1043
00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:39,207
Why didn't you just admit it
when I asked you?
1044
00:46:39,307 --> 00:46:41,575
Well, 'cause I thought
you'd be pissed.
1045
00:46:41,675 --> 00:46:44,778
I had no idea you'd...
want to do 'em, too.
1046
00:46:44,879 --> 00:46:46,680
But how have you been
getting them?
1047
00:46:46,780 --> 00:46:48,816
They're so hard to get.
1048
00:46:49,850 --> 00:46:51,819
A, uh, a group of women
1049
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,988
were sharing theirs with me.
1050
00:46:54,088 --> 00:46:56,157
I'd go to their houses
and, uh...
1051
00:46:56,257 --> 00:46:58,159
do it with them.
1052
00:46:58,259 --> 00:46:59,860
Oh, and what do you think?
1053
00:46:59,961 --> 00:47:02,496
Are you seeing any improvements?
1054
00:47:02,596 --> 00:47:04,065
Wha--? Wait.
1055
00:47:04,165 --> 00:47:06,034
You're-you're not pissed?
1056
00:47:06,134 --> 00:47:08,069
No, I'm not pissed, Randy.
1057
00:47:08,169 --> 00:47:09,770
Everyone wants to do this stuff.
1058
00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:12,040
How can you say no to it?
1059
00:47:12,140 --> 00:47:14,608
You are so much cooler
1060
00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:17,178
than any other woman out there,
you know that?
1061
00:47:17,278 --> 00:47:20,448
And I do not want you
to change one bit.
1062
00:47:21,983 --> 00:47:24,185
You don't? Really?
1063
00:47:24,285 --> 00:47:25,786
The truth is, Sharon,
1064
00:47:25,886 --> 00:47:27,755
I think these are bad drugs.
1065
00:47:27,855 --> 00:47:30,124
They just made me
crave everything less
1066
00:47:30,224 --> 00:47:32,493
and yet my dick still worked.
1067
00:47:32,593 --> 00:47:35,763
Hey, let's say just you and me
1068
00:47:35,863 --> 00:47:38,967
go to the Holiday Inn tonight
and do some molly.
1069
00:47:39,067 --> 00:47:41,602
What? Like we did
back in college?
1070
00:47:41,702 --> 00:47:43,237
Yeah, sweetheart.
1071
00:47:43,337 --> 00:47:45,706
Let's go do some good drugs.
1072
00:47:46,474 --> 00:47:48,709
(Randy and Sharon
laughing, clamoring)
1073
00:47:51,312 --> 00:47:53,847
RANDY: Hey, oh, hey, Sharon,
look, my dick doesn't work!
1074
00:47:53,948 --> 00:47:56,417
- SHARON: Oh, wow.
- Yeah! Ha-ha, this is great!
1075
00:47:56,517 --> 00:47:58,752
(indistinct chatter)
1076
00:48:04,025 --> 00:48:07,795
Well, I guess that's it
for our compounding pharmacy.
1077
00:48:07,895 --> 00:48:11,265
Yeah, I'm just kind of glad
it's all over with.
1078
00:48:11,365 --> 00:48:13,534
I was wrong.
1079
00:48:13,634 --> 00:48:16,904
I used to think fat people
just needed more willpower.
1080
00:48:17,005 --> 00:48:20,508
But now I see what it's like
to have willpower not be enough.
1081
00:48:20,608 --> 00:48:23,011
We got sugar companies,
pharmaceutical companies
1082
00:48:23,111 --> 00:48:25,279
and insurance companies
all just trying to figure out
1083
00:48:25,379 --> 00:48:27,548
how to make money
off of our fucking health.
1084
00:48:27,648 --> 00:48:30,118
How can anyone have willpower
when all these forces
1085
00:48:30,218 --> 00:48:31,952
are manipulating us every day?
1086
00:48:32,053 --> 00:48:33,387
It's impossible.
1087
00:48:33,487 --> 00:48:35,189
And I've learned
one very important thing.
1088
00:48:35,289 --> 00:48:38,692
It isn't fair to put the blame
on anyone for their weight.
1089
00:48:38,792 --> 00:48:39,793
Yeah.
1090
00:48:39,893 --> 00:48:40,961
ALL:
Yeah.
1091
00:48:41,062 --> 00:48:42,196
What do you say, guys?
1092
00:48:42,296 --> 00:48:43,564
Let's all agree as a school--
1093
00:48:43,664 --> 00:48:45,933
no, as a society--
that we won't make fun
1094
00:48:46,034 --> 00:48:48,036
of obesity anymore.
1095
00:48:48,136 --> 00:48:49,970
(cheering and applause)
1096
00:48:50,071 --> 00:48:51,639
Wait, what did you say?
1097
00:48:51,739 --> 00:48:53,541
I said we're not going
to be critical
1098
00:48:53,641 --> 00:48:55,509
of anyone for their weight
ever again.
1099
00:48:55,609 --> 00:48:57,411
- ("Free Ride"
by Edgar Winter playing)
- Are you serious?
1100
00:48:57,511 --> 00:48:58,979
But, you guys,
1101
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,949
that's all I've been wishing for
this whole time.
1102
00:49:02,050 --> 00:49:03,417
It all worked out, you guys.
1103
00:49:03,517 --> 00:49:05,353
- Kyle, guess what?
- What?
1104
00:49:05,453 --> 00:49:07,255
You're a fucking dipshit ginger.
1105
00:49:07,355 --> 00:49:10,291
You've got fucking freckles and
your religion is a goddamn lie.
1106
00:49:10,391 --> 00:49:12,093
Shut up, Cartman.
1107
00:49:12,193 --> 00:49:13,894
You... you...
1108
00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,696
Oh, my God, yes!
1109
00:49:15,796 --> 00:49:16,930
Fucking yes!
1110
00:49:17,031 --> 00:49:18,966
Wendy, you've got
little tiny saggy tits
1111
00:49:19,067 --> 00:49:20,401
and your breath stinks.
1112
00:49:20,501 --> 00:49:21,935
- What?
- That's it!
1113
00:49:22,036 --> 00:49:24,538
That's it, you can't
say anything, and you...
1114
00:49:24,638 --> 00:49:27,275
♪ Come on
and take a free ride... ♪
1115
00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:29,210
Hey, Mr. Rollins,
you dress like a bitch.
1116
00:49:29,310 --> 00:49:31,379
Hello, ma'am,
you've got a big nose.
1117
00:49:31,479 --> 00:49:33,514
Hey, do I know you? Fuck you.
1118
00:49:33,614 --> 00:49:35,249
Nice hair, cheesedick.
1119
00:49:35,349 --> 00:49:36,817
Ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair.
1120
00:49:36,917 --> 00:49:39,220
Hey, ugly,
I'm checking in, please.
1121
00:49:40,020 --> 00:49:43,224
You're flying to Pakistan
all by yourself, young man?
1122
00:49:43,324 --> 00:49:44,558
That's right.
1123
00:49:44,658 --> 00:49:47,495
I've got a lot
of catching up to do.
1124
00:49:49,897 --> 00:49:52,133
Yes!
1125
00:49:52,233 --> 00:49:53,667
♪ Free ride ♪
1126
00:49:53,767 --> 00:49:56,604
♪ Come on and sit here
by my side ♪
1127
00:49:56,704 --> 00:50:01,142
♪ Come on and take
a free ride. ♪
1128
00:50:01,242 --> 00:50:03,477
♪ ♪
1129
00:50:24,031 --> 00:50:26,066
♪ ♪
78417
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