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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:06,072
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
2
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,019
- IT'S ALIVE !
3
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:39,806
- YEP.
4
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:40,740
[SIGHS]
5
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,375
[DING DONG]
6
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,210
- OH, WILL IT HURT?
7
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,845
- ONLY IF GOD HATES YOU.
8
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:46,980
- HEY, MAMA MIA!
9
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,581
THE CANNOLI, EH,
LASAGNA!
10
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:52,051
- HEY, PASTA FAZUL,
A SPICY MEATBALL!
11
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,257
[WHISTLING]
12
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,258
[DING DONG]
13
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,594
- DUDE, IT'S TIME TO
PIMP YOUR SISTER.
14
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,429
- OH, YEAH!
15
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,196
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE--
16
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,364
YO, MAN, MY SISTER
RIGHT IN THERE.
17
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,566
COME PIMP THAT BITCH OUT!
18
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,103
- WAIT! W-WAIT!
19
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,071
WAIT! I HAVE HOMEWORK.
20
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,074
- HEY, LADIES!
21
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,076
- WE GON' PIMP YOU OUT!
22
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,313
- GIRL, YOU GOT SERIOUS
LIBRARIAN HAIR.
23
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,682
- YOU EVER SEE A HO
SHOP AT THE GAP?
24
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,485
- YOU GOT THE POSTURE
OF A LAMP POST, GIRL.
25
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:27,387
WE GOT TO GIVE YOU
SOME PROSTI-TUDE.
26
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,789
- IF WE GO WITH
A LEOPARD PRINT TANK TOP,
27
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,991
THAT'S A LITTLE TOO
SOUTHEAST NEWARK.
28
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,694
SO WE'RE GOING WITH
MORE OF A CHEETAH PATTERN.
29
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,764
- GARTER BELTS
AIN'T JUST FOR WEDDINGS,
HONEY CHILD.
30
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,899
YOU CAN TUCK
A WEAPON IN THERE.
31
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,868
AT FIRST,
I WAS PRETTY NERVOUS,
32
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,305
BUT THESE HOS
ARE ALL ABOUT CLASS.
33
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:48,475
- SOMETIMES A JOHN
WILL WANT TO DO THAT WITH YOU,
34
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,076
AND THAT'LL COST $10.
35
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:50,910
- EWW.
36
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,745
- THIS ONE--$50.
37
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:53,646
- UGH.
38
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,449
- AND THIS ONE
GON' REQUIRE A CREDIT CARD.
39
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,985
- AGAIN!
- DON'T PLAY ME!
40
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:00,253
- AGAIN!
- DON'T PLAY ME!
41
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,556
- ALL RIGHT, ALEX,
NOW WE AIN'T HAD A LOT
TO WORK WITH HERE,
42
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,625
BUT, YO,
CHECK OUT YOUR NEW SISTER!
43
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,893
- ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE.
44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,861
[GASPS]
45
00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:09,461
OH, DAMN!
46
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,295
OH, YOU PUT THE HEELS--
47
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,731
AND, OH,
YOU GOT THIS GARTER--
48
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,533
DAMN...
49
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,401
OH, DAMN!
50
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,402
IT'S THE NEW ME--
51
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:20,673
NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE,
BUT ON THE INSIDE, TOO.
52
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,476
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
53
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,311
- IT'S SO HARD
WHEN THEY LEAVE.
54
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,312
IT'S SO HARD.
55
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,313
- HEY, Y'ALL!
56
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,081
HEY, YO, MAN!
57
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:29,315
YO, COME GET A PIECE
OF MY SISTER!
58
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,117
WHO WANTS TO GET UP
IN MY SISTER'S ASS?
59
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,820
- OH, HELLO, MR. JOHNSON.
60
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,621
- HELLO, AMY.
61
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,323
DO YOU TAKE CREDIT CARDS?
62
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,828
- EWW.
63
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,831
- WE'LL BE DEAD SOON.
64
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:48,234
- OW.
65
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,336
I'M TELLING MY DAD.
66
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:54,007
- WELCOME TO
"THE SURREAL LIFE."
67
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,577
- COME ON, COME ON.
68
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,078
GET DOWN.
69
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:03,383
- LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT
"THE SURREAL LIFE" GANG
HAS BEEN UP TO RECENTLY.
70
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,151
- WE WERE REALLY EXCITED
TO PARTICIPATE
71
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,220
IN THE IDITAROD
DOGSLED RACE...
72
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,857
TILL ONE OF THE DOGS
FELL IN LOVE WITH MANNY MO.
73
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,525
- HELP! THE DOG--
74
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,393
AAH!
75
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:14,761
- LET'S SEE
WHAT'S IN STORE
76
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:17,030
FOR OUR
"SURREAL LIFE" FOLKS TODAY.
77
00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:18,831
- WE HAVE TO TAKE
THE ONE RING
78
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:22,168
AND DESTROY IT
IN THE FIRES OF MOUNT DOOM.
79
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,038
- OOH!
80
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:31,044
- WAIT, SOMETHING'S COMING!
81
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:38,551
- AAH!
82
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:47,927
- THERE'S NO WAY
I'M DOING THIS.
83
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,629
SOMEBODY BETTER
GET ME A CAB
84
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,564
BECAUSE I'M GOING--
85
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,520
- WE MUST HELPS THEM.
86
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,289
THEY'S OUR FRIEND.
87
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,192
THEY HATES MANNY MO.
88
00:04:19,257 --> 00:04:22,428
NO, THEY LOVES US.
89
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:26,332
IF THEY DIES,
WE GO GET PIZZA.
90
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,268
AAH! AAH!
91
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,472
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
92
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,573
[URINATING]
93
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,274
- AHH.
94
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:40,079
[ROARING]
95
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,281
- AAH!
96
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:48,588
- BACK TO THE FIRES
THAT FORGED YOU, EVIL TRINKET!
97
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,589
WHOA!
98
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,290
- OH!
99
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,132
- COREY, YOU SAVED ME, BRO.
100
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:00,166
- YOU CAN BURN IN HELL.
101
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,501
I JUST WANT THE RING.
102
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,902
- COREY, NO!
103
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:03,903
[SPLAT]
104
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:04,704
OH, BRO!
105
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,974
- OH, FRIENDS,
REMEMBER ME FONDLY...
106
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:12,378
IN "STAND BY ME"
AND IN "THE LOST BOYS"--
107
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:13,346
ONLY THE FIRST HALF.
108
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,049
WAIT, AND "FRIDAY THE 13th"
WAS PRETTY GOOD--
109
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,351
- NEXT TIME
ON "THE SURREAL LIFE"...
110
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:23,222
- WELL, RON AND I
HAD TO CHECK OUT
A SUSPICIOUS METEOR.
111
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,091
[BEEPING]
112
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,326
[ROARS]
113
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,199
- BOO !
114
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,002
HEH HEH HEH.
115
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,073
[SCREAMING]
116
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:44,844
- YOU DIDN'T THINK
IT'D BE THAT EASY, DID YOU?
117
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:48,347
CHOCOLATE CHICKEN EGGS
FOR EVERYONE!
118
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,615
- 1, 2, 3, 4!
119
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,884
WE LOVE IT WHEN
OUR PLAYERS SCORE!
120
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,286
5, 6, 7, 8!
121
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,954
DOUBLE ENTENDRES
ARE REALLY GREAT!
122
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,157
- I WANT TO GO TO DALLAS,
BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
123
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,425
- WE'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS,
124
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,928
WE'LL HAVE SEX
WITH PEOPLE FOR MONEY
125
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:03,129
AND GIVE IT TO YOU.
126
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:03,796
- YEAH!
127
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,665
- OH, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
128
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:10,503
- WE'RE SOAKING WET
FROM WASHING YOUR CAR,
MR. THRUSTBONE.
129
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:13,439
- IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?
130
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:17,343
- I'LL GIVE YOU $20
FOR ALL OF US TO GO CRAZY.
131
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,044
- WOW!
132
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,180
$20 IN 1978 DOLLARS
IS A LOT.
133
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:22,215
- YEAH! UH-HUH!
134
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:23,649
UNH! UNH! UNH!
135
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,584
- YEAH!
136
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,285
OH, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE
MY DAUGHTER'S FRIENDS.
137
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,320
OH, YEAH.
138
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:28,187
OH! OH!
139
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,490
- WATCH OUT FOR THE ICING.
140
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,357
DANG IT.
141
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:32,692
- WE RAISED $39.
142
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:36,729
- THAT'S EXACTLY ENOUGH
TO GET TO DALLAS.
143
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,430
YAY!
144
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,533
I'M FINALLY IN DALLAS.
145
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,433
- MOO.
146
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:45,738
- OH, I WONDER HOW MUCH
IT IS TO GET BACK.
147
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,317
- I'M STEPPING DOWN
THE LADDER AND--
148
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,652
UH-OH! OH.
149
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,721
UH-OH, I'M FALLING.
150
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:02,588
YEAH.
151
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,223
YEAH, I'M FALLING
ON THE MOON.
152
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:09,095
YES, I'M FALLING
ON THE MOON.
153
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,898
[THUD]
154
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,599
- AAH!
155
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:19,806
OK, UH, HAILING FREQUENCIES
ARE OPEN.
156
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,608
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
157
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,613
[TALKING STOPS]
158
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,951
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
159
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,055
[SIGHS]
160
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,790
- IS HE GOING TO
DO IT AGAIN?
161
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,558
- WRONG,
YOUR RESERVATIONS ARE.
162
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,027
FOR US TO LISTEN
TO RAY GRIFFITHS,
163
00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:44,263
THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED
THE POWER DROID
IN "EPISODE IV,"
164
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,665
THIS IS ROOM IS SCHEDULED.
165
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:46,532
- I RESERVED ROOM A-2
166
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,800
TO WATCH THE "STAR TREK"
BLOOPER REEL
167
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,203
WHERE DeFOREST KELLEY
GRABS MAJEL BARRETT'S CHEST.
168
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,572
THE PRIME DIRECTIVE DEMANDS
THAT YOU LEAVE THE PREMISES.
169
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,340
- THE PRIME DIRECTIVE SUCKS.
170
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,475
- YOU SUCK,
YOU NERF HERDER!
171
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,711
- OOH, SEVEN OF NINE...
172
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,446
- I HEARD ONE WILLIAM SHATNER
173
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:03,282
IS GOING TO DO
A GUEST SPOT ON "ENTERPRISE"
174
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,884
AND NOT AS KIRK!
175
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:05,685
[GASPING]
176
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:06,953
- YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
177
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:10,656
[MAKING SWOOSHING SOUNDS]
178
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,791
- GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN,
179
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:15,161
WE COULD DISCUSS THIS
LOGICALLY.
180
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,662
[ALL SHOUTING]
181
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,865
- EXCUSE ME,
I'M RAY GRIFFITH.
182
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,832
OH, MY FACE!
183
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:22,869
- YOU KIDS STOP.
184
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:23,736
NO FIGHTING.
185
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,770
OH, GET OFF ME. OW.
186
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:25,705
MY NECK, MY SPINE.
187
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,507
OH, NO, NOT LIKE THIS.
188
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,279
- EXCUSE ME,
BUT ARE YOU GENTLEMEN
189
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,147
ENGAGED IN A GAME OF LARP--
190
00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:36,315
LIVE ACTION ROLE-PLAYING?
191
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:38,351
I HAPPEN TO BE
AN OLD HAND AT IT.
192
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,652
AAH!
193
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,054
LIGHTNING BOLT!
LIGHTNING BOLT!
194
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:42,889
FIRE--FIRE--
195
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:45,358
- EXCUSE ME,
THAT'S IMPOLITE.
196
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,159
OW!
197
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,028
STOP!
198
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,864
OH, THAT'S IT!
199
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,534
- ALL SYSTEMS READY.
200
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,678
- DON'T WORRY,
MR. SCHUMACHER,
201
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,146
WE'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE.
202
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,147
[GASPS]
203
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,783
- JOEL SCHUMACHER IS
HISTORY'S GREATEST MONSTER.
204
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:11,717
- GET HIM!
205
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:12,585
LET'S GET HIM!
206
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,621
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
207
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:16,622
- GOT HIM!
208
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,391
I GOT HIM!
209
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,426
- KEEP IT COMING.
210
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,427
- OK, GOT IT. GOT IT.
211
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,063
- GET ANOTHER ONE.
GET ME ANOTHER ONE.
212
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:32,705
- SHAME ON YOU.
213
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,708
YOU'VE ALL FORGOTTEN
THE TRUE MEANING OF FANDOM.
214
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,444
WE SHOULD TAKE JOY
IN OUR LOVES,
215
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,347
NOT ARGUE ABOUT THEM.
216
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,214
[LAUGHS]
217
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,483
SON OF A BITCH!
218
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,086
[GUNSHOTS]
219
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:14,547
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
220
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:18,250
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
221
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:22,188
[CHICKENS CLUCKING THEME SONG]
13158
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