Original subtitles

Oh, good, Reba, you're here.

You wanna see Henry's new trick?

Sure, if it means makin' his mommy disappear.

[laughing]

Well, it looks like somebody already made your manners disappear.

Okay, Henry, what do we do when we see a stranger?

- [shouts] - [groans]

[screaming]

[laughing] Okay.

Barbra Jean, why didn't you warn me that he was gonna do that?

Well, strangers don't get a warning.

Strangers only get pain.

[shouts]

Great. Now I have bruises on both my shins.

Do you know what purple looks like on white skin?

- Where you goin'? - To get some ice.

The safe word is "pickles."

Why do I need a safe word?

- [Henry shouting] - [Reba] Pickles! Pickles!

Good job, sweetie.

Oh, no, Barbra Jean, you, you've gotta leave.

Oh, my gosh, is it the supermarket cops?

I swear, I only ate one frozen burrito.

Why is it that they don't get mad if you eat one grape...

but they do if you eat a watermelon?

[Barbra Jean] I know.

Okay, look, seriously.

Barbra Jean, you gotta get out of here because we have a surprise for Mom

and I don't want you to ruin it.

Well, I'm not gonna ruin it.

Why would you think I would ruin it?

What is it? Can I tell her?

No, Barbra Jean.

Look, if you love Mom,

you're gonna let her have this moment without ya.

Well, when you put it that way.

Oh, thank you.

- You know, I'm torn, you know. - What...

On the one hand, sure, I love your mother,

but what does that mean

if I'm not here for her in every big moment of her life?

Oh, stay. Stay.

- Reba, they got you a big surprise. - Oh.

They bought you a car.

I'm just guessing.

You know what? You sit down and you shut up.

Okay. Yeah.

You know, Mom,

the weirdest thing...

You know who I was thinking about the other day,

was that Dr. Morgan.

- Oh, really? - Mmm-hmm.

Well, Cheyenne, I mean, why would I have to leave,

you know, just cause you, you wanna talk about Dr. Morgan.

Uh, I'm so over him.

[chuckles]

I'm over his warm smile,

his kind eyes,

his firm, tight buttocks.

[chuckles]

[scoffs]

Because, Barbra Jean,

Dr. Morgan and Mrs. H

had that intense middle-age love affair.

[shudders]

Just saying it makes my skin crawl.

So, you ever think about him?

Yes, I have a few fond memories.

- Van, flick the porch lights. - Mmm-hmm.

What are you guys up to?

I know.

- Dr. Morgan is outside. - [Cheyenne] Oh, boy.

[Barbra Jean gasps]

[Barbra Jean sighs]

Oh.

- [yelps] - You've come back for me!

Okay, now.

- Barbra Jean. Barbra Jean? - Huh?

I'm here to see Reba.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Just, uh...

[sniffs]

[moans]

Oh, you smell terrific.

Hello, Reba.

Hello, stranger.

Stranger! [shouting]

[groaning]

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey, hey.

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Sorry about that.

I forgot we had an attack child.

Does it hurt?

Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?

Barbra Jean, we've talked about this.

You are still married to Brock, aren't you?

I guess.

Come on, Henry, let's go home and see Daddy.

Same old Daddy who does the same old thing

every same old day.

[door closes]

So.

So.

So. [chuckles]

So.

Do you guys mind giving us a little privacy?

Oh.

Okay, sure.

Privacy. [chuckles]

Come on, Van. Let's go.

I am not leaving him alone with her.

Last thing we need in this house is another baby.

[Cheyenne] Van!

Gross. That is my mom.

Come on. Let's go.

All right.

Hey. Just 'cause you're a doctor...

doesn't mean you get to play doctor.

Van, come on.

- So that's what's considered good-looking? - Mmm-hmm.

Wait till I'm 60.

[Cheyenne chuckling]

So, you're, you're probably wondering

why I haven't called the last couple of months.

Well, I was trying to stay positive.

I assumed you were dead.

I know I told you I'd only be in Boston for a month or two,

but it turned into a job offer,

a-and some things came up,

and, well, uh, I struggled with--

Your phone?

Yes.

It's way too fancy.

It takes pictures, but I don't know how to make phone calls.

Although I'm pretty sure that it accepts calls.

Stop trying to get out of trouble

by pointing out that I was equally at fault.

There's no excuse.

I should have called, and I'm sorry.

And believe it or not, I really missed you.

I missed you too.

So I moved back to town,

and I was thinking maybe we could start seeing each other again.

[sighs] Oh, gee.

I don't know!

You gotta realize how hard it was on me not hearin' from you.

I know.

And I don't know if I should give you another chance.

I mean, I don't know if I wanna risk gettin' hurt again.

But on the other hand,

you do smell awfully good.

And you're just smelling me from a distance.

Well, I'm just giving myself a running start.

[screams]

My eyes!

Well, that was great.

Sorry we had to beat you guys so bad.

Well, guys versus girls wasn't exactly fair.

Well, I didn't say it was fair.

I said it was great.

Next time, it'll be you and me against Cheyenne and Van.

Then I'm not goin'.

Well, good.

Then we won't have to use the bumpers.

[groans]

I'm just gonna put the bowling stuff in the closet.

I'll give you a hand.

So...

People think you're good-looking.

Are you hitting on me?

[laughing]

Nope, not me. I said people. People.

I said people, damn it.

Well, you two seem to be gettin' along.

I know.

Feel like a high school girl...

trapped in a college girl's body.

Oh, Mom, I am so glad that you're happy.

I mean, seriously,

for years, you have been moping around this house,

depressin' everyone.

Seriously, Van and I were thinking about moving out at one point.

Sorry, dear, I didn't know it was so hard on you.

Aww.

Yeah, well,

you were kinda wrapped up in yourself there.

[laughs]

Oh, but, Mom, seriously, hold on to this one.

I don't want my little cloud of doom comin' back again.

So you guys were thinkin' about moving out?

No, no, not anymore, now that you're happy.

[whispering] She likes you.

- I'm gonna take her to the prom. - Oh!

[laughs]

You know, I really like Cheyenne and Van.

But he's a little obsessed with looks.

Oh, they're all vain at that age.

No, he's obsessed with my looks.

Oh. [laughs]

He gets that from me.

Plus, Van's a little worried

that if a good-looking guy like you could be divorced,

he better behave himself.

Oh, well, that's not technically the case.

Are you telling me you're not handsome?

Oh, I'm handsome.

I meant the divorce part.

How's that again?

Uh, I mean that my soon-to-be ex-wife

just hasn't signed the papers yet.

So, so, technically, we're not divorced.

You knew that.

No, I'm pretty sure I would've remembered that.

So legally, you're still married?

Yeah, but it's not like there's some divorce police

that are gonna come arrest me.

Is there?

- This isn't funny. - [sighs]

I'm datin' a married man.

No, you're looking at this all wrong.

You're dating a very-soon-to-be divorced man.

But you're still married.

Do you know what that makes me?

Barbra Jean.

[muttering indistinctly]

I don't wanna be Barbra Jean.

Barbra Jean doesn't even wanna be Barbra Jean.

I'm sorry, Reba.

I wasn't trying to hide anything.

I can't believe we haven't had this conversation.

I'm Barbra Jean.

I am Barbra Jean.

Am I turning into tall, blonde and crazy?

I had no idea this was gonna affect you this way.

And you know what? I'm gonna take care of it.

It's time I got it over with anyway.

Oh, no.

I don't wanna be the reason your marriage is breakin' up.

First of all, you're not the reason my marriage is breaking up.

And secondly, you'll never be Barbra Jean.

I can't say why, but, remember, I was her therapist.

[door closes]

You're not Barbra Jean.

You are Reba.

You're different.

You are Reba.

Geez, Mom, stop talkin' to yourself.

You're soundin' like Barbra Jean.

Hey, what you doin'?

Whatever I'm doing, you can't relate to because I'm nothing like you.

So before you jump to conclusions and start asking what I'm doing,

you better look in the mirror,

'cause you won't see me, I can tell you that!

Uh-oh.

Trouble with Dr. Hunky?

No.

And if there was any trouble, I don't wanna talk to you about it.

Did you fight?

Were you needy?

Was there uncomfortable adult touching?

Barbra Jean, you make me wanna burn my ears.

Reba, don't let him get away.

I really want this to work out for you.

And I know you've forgiven me, but...

I've never really gotten over my part in the destruction of your marriage.

Oh, I remember your part.

You played Godzilla.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

It's a bad feeling being the other woman, Reba.

Bad, bad feeling.

Can I help you?

- Are you Reba Hart? - Yeah.

I'm Cheryl Morgan,

Jack Morgan's wife.

Oh, you mean ex-wife.

I mean wife.

A bad, bad feeling.

Oh.

Jack's wife.

I don't know what to say.

Never been on this side before, huh, Reba?

Cheryl, please come in. Come on.

Why did you invite her in?

This is gonna be terribly awkward.

Well, we don't know that.

Let's just hear what the woman has to say.

- I still love Jack. - Sorry.

Look, Cheryl, I just want you to know...

that I had no idea your divorce wasn't final

when I started going out with Jack.

Hey, you don't have to justify yourself to her.

He's a good-looking man, so he's fair game.

I think we can still work it out,

which is why I want you to stop seeing him.

Well, that's not gonna happen.

Okay?

Barbra Jean, would you stop it?

I want this to be over with.

Well, it's not up to her.

It's up to Brock.

I mean Jack. Jack.

[muttering]

- She's not speaking for me. - No.

I'm speaking for all the other women.

There are more?

Oh, no, no, not with Jack.

I mean figuratively.

You know, women who do what we do.

Cheryl, I'm sorry, but I won't see Jack again.

[scoffs] What?

Are you out of your mind?

If you keep talking, nobody's gonna see you again.

You know, this wasn't easy for me, Reba.

And I hope I don't have to do it again.

All righty, then. [chuckles]

Thanks for droppin' by.

[mocking] "Thanks for droppin' by."

Well, I told you it was gonna be awkward.

Well, of course it's awkward! It's adultery!

Now all right, Reba,

this is not too late to save this, all right?

Now, we just call Jack,

tell him to come on over here, burst into tears,

tell him that she threatened you

and then, let him get to second base.

Stop it.

I'm not gonna see Jack again.

- You were serious? - Absolutely.

That was humiliating.

I feel horrible.

I feel dirty.

That'll pass.

She still loves him.

Well, he doesn't love her.

- You don't know that. - [scoffs]

And I don't think I could be with him

if I thought I was gonna hurt somebody the way I was hurt.

Do you love him?

- I don't know. - Do you?

Well, I could.

Well, then you need to get off your little pompous high horse

and get out there and fight for him.

Oh, of course, you would think that.

Yeah. I do.

Reba,

this is your one chance for happiness.

Just like I was Brock's one chance for happiness.

Do you even know who you're talking to?

Yeah, I do.

And as your best friend, I gotta tell you something.

Your marriage to Brock was over,

just like theirs is over.

Don't lose Jack just because you won't fight for him.

Reba, you deserve this.

[sighs] I need some air.

[door closes]

Reba and a married man?

Honest to God, you think you know somebody.

Hey, Brock, you got a minute?

Sure, what can I do you for?

I need to talk to you about your affair.

[sarcastically] Oh, good.

I was worried we were finally gonna talk about something else.

I just found out that Jack's divorce is not quite as final as I thought it was.

No reaction?

Not until I figure out which one you're lookin' for.

I don't know what to do.

He says his marriage is over,

but his wife says she still loves him.

Well, how do you know that?

She dropped by.

Well, could've been worse.

Barbra Jean could've been there.

Oh.

Okay, look.

What I need to know is,

if she's willing to fight for him,

does their marriage have a chance?

Reba, there's no way I can know that.

I mean, every situation is different.

- Yeah, I guess you're right. - Yeah.

Well, Brock, let me ask you this.

Would it have made a difference if I'd been willing to fight for you?

I don't know.

Crap.

[knocking]

Okay, okay.

Reba, I am so sorry.

I just talked to Cheryl,

and I can only imagine how uncomfortable that was.

[door closes]

Look, Jack, I just need to ask you one question.

Do you have any feelings left for her?

Because if you do, and if you guys tried--

No.

Are you sure?

I'm sure now.

What the heck did that mean?

Uh, apparently, it meant,

"Stop me before I kiss you."

No.

You're sure now?

You became sure after you met me?

Well, I meant it as a good thing.

I told you.

I didn't wanna be the reason your marriage broke up.

- You're not. - But you said it was my fault.

Yes. No.

You keep saying that.

Th-Then what are you saying?

Nothing. You know, I regret ever talking.

Okay, can we just start this over?

Wasn't quite the same, was it?

No.

Look, I care for you.

I really do.

But I had the same thing done to me by the person

listening on the other side of that counter,

and I just can't do it to someone else!

It's not the same thing.

Well, it sure feels like it.

Is there anything I can say, because I'll say it.

I don't wanna lose you.

Say you're single.

I will be.

Call me then.

I'll talk to you later.

Take care, Barbra Jean.

Kisses.

[door closes]

I'm sorry, Reba.

I saw him drive over and had to see what was going on.

Oh, that's okay.

I probably would've done the same thing.

Oh, Lord.

Okay, Cheyenne, you can come out too.

Oh.

Thank God. It was gettin' hot in there.

You okay, Ma?

I guess so.

You know, there's that old saying that goes,

"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

[softly] Yeah.

Amen.

Hey, Barbra Jean.

I got your message.

Thanks for coming.

Well, you said it was important.

It is.

I don't think you should just walk away from Reba.

I think you should fight for her.

She might be your one chance for happiness.

I don't think I can do that.

Why not?

Because she's not the one I want.

You are.

Me?

Come on, you've known it all along.

The whole time I was kissing Reba, I was really kissing you.

Damn!

Why must all the men in Reba's life desire me?

Isn't it obvious?

You're better than she is.

I hate myself for it every day.

Kiss me, Barbra Jean.

I can't.

- Okay. - Where are you going?

Get back here.

Barbra Jean, what are you doing?

[coughs]

These, um...

These pillows just aren't as fluffy as they used to be.

It's like the same old person sitting on them

the same old way every same old day.

[closing theme music playing]

Acme! [coughing]