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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,924 Okay, Mrs. H, are you ready for a healthy breakfast? 2 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,509 I got egg whites, 3 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,262 plain wheat toast, an assortment of fruit. 4 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:13,680 You're gonna love this. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,890 This is really good to lower your cholesterol. 6 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,767 And it's all... 7 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:18,685 [sneezes] 8 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,450 You like doughnuts? Doughnuts are good. 9 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,203 Mom, I can't go to school. 10 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:38,580 I'm sick. 11 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,789 Oh, honey. 12 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,416 Wow! 13 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,042 A hundred and twenty. 14 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,670 Yeah, that is high. 15 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,046 Wow, that sounds serious. 16 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,423 You know, we'd better double-check. 17 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,049 Okay, Jake... 18 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:51,801 bend over. 19 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:55,930 Yep. 20 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:56,848 Bend over. 21 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,476 I'm goin' to school. 22 00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:03,521 Hey, guys. 23 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,315 - Is Cheyenne still here? - [Reba] Yeah. 24 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,150 You didn't tell her about the internship, did you? 25 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,152 No, no, I was waitin' on you and Barbra Jean. 26 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,320 Where's Barbra Jean? 27 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,446 Oh, don't tell me. 28 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,239 The circus came and recaptured her. 29 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,203 No, she's getting ready for jury duty. 30 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,120 Oh, man. 31 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,581 It's too bad Barbra Jean is gonna miss the look on Cheyenne's face 32 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,166 when you ask her to intern at your office. 33 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,584 I think it's gonna be like this. 34 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,294 [squeals] 35 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,046 [moans] 36 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,130 Or this. Or this. 37 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,381 [sputters] 38 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,050 [sobs] 39 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,386 Or a combination of the two, when Miss USA wins, like, the award, 40 00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,471 and she's all happy! 41 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:37,889 And then sad! 42 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,391 [squeals] 43 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,519 [moans] 44 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,355 Oh, y'all, here's Cheyenne. 45 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,356 [Brock] Hi, sweetie. 46 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,440 Hi, hottie. 47 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,483 [Cheyenne] What's goin' on? 48 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,400 Tell her, Brock. 49 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,654 Well, we all know how important an internship is for dental school, 50 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,531 so, um, here's the thing. 51 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,991 How would you like to intern at my office? 52 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,034 [squeals] 53 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,455 Honey? 54 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,876 Why am I the only one makin' this face? 55 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,255 What's the matter, Cheyenne? Aren't you excited? 56 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:13,550 Well, um, I'm not sure that I'm gonna have time for an internship. 57 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,467 Why not? 58 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:19,305 Well, I've been spending a lot of time volunteering down at the senior center. 59 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,182 Well, what do you think an internship is? 60 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,433 I wasn't gonna pay you. 61 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,563 Yeah, about that. I'm... 62 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,649 I'm not sure that I want to be a dentist anymore. 63 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,650 What? 64 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,318 Wait, wait, I got a face for this. 65 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,403 D'huh? 66 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,285 What do you mean you don't want to be a dentist? 67 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,120 Well, becoming a dentist 68 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,455 just seems like something you do to just make money. 69 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,917 And I kinda think that I might want to help people instead. 70 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,420 Oh, you, you don't think dentists help people? 71 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,337 Yeah. 72 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,048 Guess it's time to show you the gingivitis video again. 73 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,677 [vehicle horn honks] 74 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,721 [Barbra Jean] Brock, justice waits for no one! 75 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,638 [sighs] 76 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,516 I have to take my wife to jury duty, 77 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:04,767 and after that, 78 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,394 I am gonna go to the office, 79 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,355 where I will help people fight deadly gum disease... 80 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,607 and win! 81 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:13,651 [door closes] 82 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,028 Chey... 83 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:18,823 Cheyenne, you're springin' a lot on everybody here, so-- 84 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,534 What is goin' on in that pretty head of yours, woman? 85 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,577 Okay. 86 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,580 I was on my way home from another boring day at school 87 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,124 where I spent hours studying biology, 88 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,459 and I thought to myself, 89 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,669 "What does that have to do with life?" 90 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:38,718 So I was driving, 91 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:41,846 and this old lady in a walker just darted out in front of me. 92 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224 So I hung up the phone, and I thought to myself, 93 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,520 "Somebody has got to do somethin' about these old people." 94 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,692 I think nature takes care of that, honey. 95 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:58,321 Okay, look, well, I walked her home to the center, 96 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,740 and the whole place was just crawlin' with 'em. 97 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,535 And I looked at their faces, and... 98 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,287 All of a sudden, I just... 99 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,581 I knew that there was something that I could do. 100 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,251 But, honey, givin' up on dentistry, 101 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,378 after all the work that you put into it, 102 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,213 seems a little impulsive. 103 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,423 Yeah, what happened to our ten-year plan, 104 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,260 where we work and save enough money to afford our own place? 105 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:23,930 Ten-year? 106 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,558 - It's not all about money, Van. - [laughs] 107 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,228 Look, after we helped those people who were in the hurricane, 108 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,188 I realized why people do it. 109 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,898 It felt really good. 110 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,901 I think that maybe this is what I'm meant to do. 111 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,237 Wow, it sounds like you really mean it. 112 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,613 [coughing] Baloney. [clears throat] 113 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,200 Did you just cough, "baloney"? 114 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,285 Yeah, I might have... 115 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,204 caught somethin' when you were off ruinin' our lives! 116 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,456 - Oh, Van. - No. I'm her husband. 117 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,792 And you do not make decisions like this alone. 118 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,294 [Cheyenne] Well, the only reason I didn't tell you 119 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,879 is 'cause I knew you'd overreact and storm off. 120 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,424 Well, a lot you know, I'm not stormin' off. 121 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,218 I'm gonna stand my ground and forbid you 122 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,679 from makin' this knuckleheaded decision to help old people. 123 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:05,888 Fine, Van. 124 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,850 Well, I have important work to do, so I'm storming off. 125 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,767 Oh, yeah? 126 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,020 Well, you storm off like a girl! 127 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,026 What are you doin'? 128 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,694 Trying to save our future. 129 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,362 You're going about it wrong. 130 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,990 What she's doin' is crazy, we need to stop her. 131 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,992 Which is why we're gonna go down to the center 132 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,577 - and see what's she's up to. - Okay. 133 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,704 Either what she's doin' is a really good thing, 134 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,581 or it's silly and pointless. 135 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,458 Then we'll calmly talk her out of it. 136 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,500 All right. Fine. 137 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,919 But don't expect me to be all Miss USA and... 138 00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:37,837 [squeals] 139 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:38,921 No, it's not gonna happen. 140 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,051 [theme song playing] 141 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,302 [Reba] Hey, hey. 142 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,764 {\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪ 143 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,141 {\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪ 144 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:54,020 ♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪ 145 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,065 {\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪ 146 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,776 ♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪ 147 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,444 ♪ With gentle hands ♪ 148 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,446 {\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪ 149 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,911 {\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪ 150 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,377 Thanks for walkin' me to my jury service, honey. 151 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,963 Yeah, well, if you wind up getting sequestered, 152 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:23,382 I just want the guys here to know that you're taken. 153 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,885 I love it that you're so jealous. 154 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,596 {\an8}Wouldn't it be great if some guy looked at me, 155 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:29,972 {\an8}and then you beat him with a chair, 156 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,641 {\an8}and then I was on your jury? 157 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,061 {\an8}Yeah, that'd be great. Listen... 158 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,355 {\an8}- Barbra Jean-- - Uh, uh, uh. 159 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,524 {\an8}Call me by my number. 160 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,360 {\an8}- Barbra Jean, I'm not gonna-- - Not hearing you. 161 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:47,156 {\an8}Okay, Juror Number 1-5-3-6, listen... 162 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,700 {\an8}During selection, it's important that you say the right thing 163 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,202 {\an8}to get out of being put on a jury. 164 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,787 {\an8}But I want to serve. 165 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:53,830 {\an8}Come on, Barbra Jean, 166 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,873 {\an8}the guy's on trial for stealing a garden gnome. 167 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:56,833 {\an8}[chuckles nervously] 168 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,376 {\an8}You're not supposed to know that. Now, shoo. 169 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,044 {\an8}[muttering] No one's goin' to prison. 170 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,338 {\an8}Hi. Excuse me. 171 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:03,673 {\an8}Hi. 172 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,508 {\an8}Thank you all for coming. 173 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,468 {\an8}- Oh, this is so excitin'. - We're going to begin 174 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:08,845 {\an8}- the selection process. - I hope I get picked. 175 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,847 {\an8}I wore my lucky bra. [laughs] 176 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,517 {\an8}Juror Number 13-22. 177 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,352 Did you say 15-36? 178 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,270 No. 179 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,396 [softly] Okay. 180 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:20,773 Juror Number-- 181 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:21,983 15-36? 182 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,317 Let me say it. 183 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,198 Juror Number 12-42. 184 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,116 Oh. 185 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:31,826 I hate my stupid number. 186 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:32,785 What number you got? 187 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,288 Juror Number 12-89. 188 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,372 Oh, that's your number. 189 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,374 Switch with me. Come on, yeah. 190 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,169 12-89. That's me, that's me. [chuckles] 191 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,254 I thought you were 15-36. 192 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,006 No, this loser's 15-36. 193 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:46,591 I'm foreman! 194 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,508 I call it! 195 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,426 Ha! 196 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,019 Okay, if anybody asks why we're here, 197 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,146 we're signing you up for a ceramics class. 198 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,776 What? 199 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:09,280 [loudly] We're signing you up for ceramics class, Grandma. 200 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,615 [chuckles] 201 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:11,657 How you doin'? 202 00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:14,577 Van, we don't have to sneak in here. 203 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:15,703 Cheyenne's expecting us. 204 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788 Hey, guys. 205 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:18,789 [quietly] Ow. 206 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:20,833 Thanks for callin'. [strains] 207 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,754 Man, I can't wait to see what would make someone give up the dental dream. 208 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,381 Oh, Brock, get off your high horse. 209 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,217 You're just a glorified toothbrush. 210 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,387 Man, I hate places like this. 211 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,473 Reminds me how one day I'll be old. 212 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:36,933 One day? 213 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,605 Ha, ha, you're gonna be old one day too, Van. 214 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,898 Let's see who's laughin' then. 215 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,316 Well, it won't be you, 'cause you'll be dead. 216 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,234 You know... 217 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,194 Come on, guys. 218 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,780 Let's knock it off. 219 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,240 Oh! 220 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:53,574 [gasps] 221 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,743 As I live and breathe! 222 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,621 Errol Flynn! [giggles] 223 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,458 It's, it's Errol Flynn. 224 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,086 Hi. Can I help you? 225 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,588 Oh, yes, we're here to see Cheyenne, my daughter. 226 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,382 She says she's been volunteering here. 227 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,967 [relieved] Oh, you're here to take her home. 228 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,009 - Great, I'll get her. - [Reba] Oh, no. 229 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,219 No, no. 230 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,303 No, no, no. 231 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,681 No, we're just, we just come down to see what she's up to. 232 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:17,598 Oh. 233 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,934 - And then you'll take her home? - Oh. 234 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:22,728 Oh, hey, guys. 235 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,188 I'm so glad you're here. 236 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,356 Yeah, we're so excited. 237 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,566 We're here to be supportive 238 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,693 and not push you in any one direction. 239 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,236 [Cheyenne] Oh. [chuckles] 240 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,572 Okay, I've gotta show you some of the work I've been doing. 241 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,574 You are gonna be so proud. 242 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,659 I'm sure we will, honey. 243 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,286 Look, we need to keep an open mind. 244 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,538 There's a very good possibility that Cheyenne could be doin' 245 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,707 something very meaningful with her life here. 246 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,418 Florence, Ida, ladies, 247 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,795 come on out. [giggles] 248 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,339 You're so beautiful. 249 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,515 Okay, now will you take her home? 250 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,198 Ooh, lovely, lovely. [giggles] 251 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,117 See, Florence? Slimming. 252 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,119 Oh, and, Ida, 253 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:23,706 that lipstick is really gonna show off your teeth once you put 'em in. 254 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,502 Van, Van. 255 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:29,837 Check it out. 256 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,798 That nice old lady's got, "workin' it," on her butt. 257 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,346 You don't think she's got a thong under there, do you? 258 00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,519 Cheyenne has been giving them makeovers 259 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:48,105 from top to saggy bottom. 260 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,233 Do the ladies like this? 261 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,319 Oh, yeah, they like it, and the men like it, 262 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,320 and I hate it. 263 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,031 See, two weeks ago, someone would yell, "bingo," 264 00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:00,242 and they'd all have tea and take naps, and I had the afternoon off. 265 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,203 And now Cheyenne gets 'em all dolled up 266 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,413 and it's like Grannies Gone Wild around here. 267 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,290 Sorry. Excuse me one second. 268 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,333 Dickie, no! 269 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,377 No, Dickie, no. 270 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,003 No, Dickie. 271 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,296 U-turn. 272 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:13,381 No, Dickie. 273 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,508 [inaudible] 274 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,429 So, what do you think? 275 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,723 Yeah, Reba, what do we think? 276 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,975 - Well, we think that it's-- - Oh, it's so great. 277 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,520 You should have seen them before I got here. 278 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,980 I really feel like I've found my calling. 279 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,108 I, I don't know how to describe the feeling, other than it's-- 280 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,192 It's stupid. 281 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,570 It's the dumbest thing ever. 282 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,572 No, wait, I take that back. 283 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,699 You givin' up dentistry to do this... 284 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,410 is the dumbest thing ever. 285 00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:44,703 [shudders] 286 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,208 Well... 287 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,252 that was interesting. 288 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,171 Ladies... 289 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,090 [choking up] I'm gonna be giving a seminar, 290 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,217 on, um, waterproof mascara. 291 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,427 Meet me in the sunroom. 292 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,606 And then we moved to Lubbock, 293 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,692 which was tough on my family. 294 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,445 But it didn't matter, because I still made the volleyball team. 295 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,071 And we went 11 and 0, 296 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,824 which is how I got the nickname, "White Thunder." 297 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,452 - And-- - So, in answer to the question, 298 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,580 "Have you ever been accused of committing a crime?" 299 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,957 The answer would be no. 300 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:30,875 Yes. 301 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:36,088 Although, I was accused of, "stealing the show," in the school play. 302 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,923 - I was Tevye. And-- - Miss Hart. 303 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,842 [inaudible] 304 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:44,054 If you're trying to get out of your jury duty by being annoying, 305 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,556 it's not going to work. 306 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,266 But that's not what I'm trying to do. 307 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:51,020 Your Honor, I want nothing more than to serve on this jury. 308 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,023 I am a huge John Grisham fan. 309 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,525 And I've seen every episode of Law and Order, 310 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,735 and my favorite part... 311 00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,278 is the Order. 312 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,405 Okay. 313 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,617 Now I would like to ask a question... 314 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:07,244 to any other juror. 315 00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,580 - Request a sidebar. - What? 316 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,832 Your Honor, you said if we had anything personal to discuss, 317 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,125 we could request a sidebar. 318 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,252 Oh, no, no, no. 319 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,212 Oh. 320 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,380 Now I regret saying that. 321 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,091 I regret my whole career choice. 322 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,385 Approach the bench. 323 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,056 [chuckling softly] 324 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:32,853 What? 325 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,149 [whispers] Nothing. 326 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,694 I just always wanted to be involved in a sidebar. 327 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:41,820 [chuckles excitedly] 328 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,780 Miss Hart... 329 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:43,906 Uh, uh, uh. 330 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,033 Call me by my number. 331 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,954 Remember what I told you earlier about being annoying 332 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,248 - would not get you dismissed from service? - Yes. 333 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,374 I'm changin' my mind. 334 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,251 What? 335 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,210 No, you can't do that. 336 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,836 I thought justice was blind. 337 00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,256 Yeah, but unfortunately it's not deaf. 338 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:01,590 You win. 339 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,259 You are dismissed from service. 340 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,969 [whining] But I don't wanna go. 341 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,345 Bailiff Ron. 342 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,847 [huffs] Okay. 343 00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,391 You better watch it, Mister. 344 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,684 Okay. You know what? 345 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,895 You know, this jury will be nothing without me. 346 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,147 You know, I declare a mistrial. 347 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:19,817 Okay, you know what, 348 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,861 my boob just popped out of my lucky bra. 349 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:32,413 Cheyenne hasn't made it back yet? 350 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:36,166 No, she's probably settin' up a wet shawl contest by now. 351 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,962 Look, I know what Cheyenne's doin' over there is kind of-- 352 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:40,880 Ridiculous. 353 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,798 Laughable. Insane. 354 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:43,841 Yes. 355 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,384 But, you have to admit 356 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,845 that it made those little old ladies pretty happy. 357 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,763 - Hi, Mom. - Hey. 358 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,056 You don't get a, "hi." 359 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,433 Oh, look, Mrs. H. 360 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,184 It's Mother Teresa with lip gloss. 361 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,185 Aww. 362 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,729 Clever, Van. 363 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,899 But just for your information, Mother Teresa knew nothing about makeup. 364 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,275 [gasps mockingly] 365 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,443 Really? 366 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,028 What a loser! 367 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,573 Come on, guys. 368 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:10,034 But, Cheyenne, we do have to talk about what you're gonna do 369 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,827 before you make any big decisions. 370 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,078 Oh, I already made my decision. 371 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,288 To do what? 372 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,415 Write, "workin' it," on old ladies' butts? 373 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,917 That's a great idea. 374 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,627 That's a great idea. 375 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,546 You could have a whole series of inspirational butt sayings. 376 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,426 Eventually, I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor. 377 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,679 I was only doing it to see if I liked helping people, and I do. 378 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,932 But, Cheyenne, why did you have to pick somethin' so-- 379 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:33,849 Insane? 380 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:34,975 Van. 381 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,686 Wait, I didn't pick it, the ladies did. 382 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,480 I was down there talking to them, 383 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,358 and they were telling me how long it's been since they felt pretty. 384 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,109 They asked me to do it. 385 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,027 Oh. 386 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,695 But, honey, being a drug counselor, 387 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,322 you're gonna have to have a lot of training for that. 388 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,239 No, I know. 389 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,867 I know, and if I change my major to social work now, 390 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,703 I can still graduate in two-and-a-half years. 391 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:55,996 Do you know that for a fact? 392 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,248 Yes, I already planned it out with my counselor. 393 00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,500 Oh, terrific. 394 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,294 You're getting advice from the school counselor. 395 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,713 Do you see the cars they drive? 396 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,052 So wait a minute. 397 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,971 You've actually... 398 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,389 thought this out? 399 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,848 Yes, I have. 400 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,518 Well, Van, 401 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,854 we may have to face the fact that Cheyenne has changed. 402 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,606 Yeah, don't you think I know she's changed? 403 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,483 Well, guess what? I liked her the way she was... 404 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,651 hot and ditzy. 405 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,990 I was never ditzy, Van. 406 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,700 I mean, what does, "ditzy," even mean? 407 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,535 Okay. 408 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,164 All right. 409 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,083 Listen to me, both of you. 410 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,336 I'm gonna give you the secret to a long marriage. 411 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,421 You? 412 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,553 Well, forgive me, Mrs. H, but I find that slightly ironic. 413 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,472 I thought you might say that. 414 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,350 But I am the person to learn this from. 415 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,978 See, Brock and I had to learn it the hard way. 416 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,021 People change. 417 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:02,980 They grow. 418 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,606 But if the people grow 419 00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,233 and the marriage doesn't... 420 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,902 that's when you sprout a Barbra Jean. 421 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,369 Mom, it is so cool 422 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,039 that the tragedy that is your life can help others. 423 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,792 Right back at ya. 424 00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:27,087 Now, I'll leave and let you two talk. 425 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:30,799 So... 426 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:34,053 you feel better now that you know I actually thought it through? 427 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,554 No. I feel worse. 428 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,766 Where was I during this big process, Cheyenne? 429 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,434 When were you gonna allow me in the loop? 430 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,269 Well, I was definitely gonna tell you, Van. 431 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,187 - I just-- - Hmm. 432 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,313 I wanted to be sure. 433 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,857 Look, I've been going through a lot of changes lately. 434 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,776 I know, and these changes are taking you 435 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,652 farther and farther away from me. 436 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:53,238 You talk to everybody about your problems at your meetings. 437 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,741 You talk to your school counselor about your future. 438 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,952 What is there left for you to talk to me about? 439 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,245 Where do I fit in? 440 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:01,789 Van. 441 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,166 I'm sorry. 442 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,420 - But I'm really happy with my decision. - [sighs] 443 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,713 Look, for me... 444 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,423 it's about this: 445 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,842 I want to become a better person. 446 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,221 Well, for me, it's about this: 447 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,224 What if this better person doesn't want me? 448 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,023 [door closes] 449 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,326 [snoring] 450 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,164 Van. 451 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,085 Happy birthday, Van. 452 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,796 [muttering, hawks] 453 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,050 Oh. 454 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,386 I think I soiled myself. 455 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,054 Aww. 456 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,181 Okay. 457 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,599 Van. 458 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,394 - It's your 80th birthday today. - What? 459 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,604 You know what you want for a present? 460 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:09,773 Yeah. 461 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,569 - Oh, Van. - Yeah. 462 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:14,611 Yeah. 463 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,947 Don't you ever want anything else? 464 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,031 [Van] Ah. 465 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,493 You're the one who's got, "workin' it," on your butt. 466 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,169 [laughing] 467 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,087 So, Van... 468 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,261 you're 80 today, 469 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,430 and that means you're old. 470 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,682 You're an old man, 471 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,225 and I'm alive to see it. 472 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,644 So who's laughin' now? 473 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,354 [laughs loudly, stops] 474 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,276 Oh, crap. 475 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,911 Huh. Did you see that, Mother? 476 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,246 He died. 477 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,167 That miserable old coot got what he deserved. 478 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,170 [laughs] 479 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,547 Who's laughin' now? 480 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,299 I'm laughin'. 481 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,218 [laughs, wheezes] 482 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,473 Crap. 483 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,519 Jake? 484 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,024 Jake, get in here, I think Van died. 485 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,863 I think we better make sure. 486 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,375 [closing theme music playing] 487 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,363 {\an8}Acme! [coughing] 33783

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