All language subtitles for Reba.S05E01.Where.Theres.Smoke.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

[door opens]

Howdy-ho, Reba.

I made you a Bundt cake
for your party tonight.

The Germans call it "Boondt." [laughs]

[snorts] Oh, those funny Germans.

So, what time should I be here tonight?

The cake can stay, but you gotta go.

This party is business,
as in none of yours.

Yes, but like so many things,
I've made it my business

and prepared a speech
to give to your clients. [clears throat]

"Reba is not just the best
real estate agent in town,

she's also my best friend."

"I do not know
what I would do without her."

"Sometimes I lie awake at night

and I thank God that her husband
made a pass at me."

I bet God really loves to hear from you.

[Cheyenne] Hey.

Oh.

Cheyenne, how was your 12-step meeting?

Uh, Reba, those meetings are anonymous.

She's not supposed to talk about them.

Oh, no, no, no,
I can talk about my meetings.

And they're going really well.

I mean, like, really, really, really well.

I don't know why, but I just,
I don't feel the need to drink at all.

So how was your day?

Give me that thing.
Oh! Hot, hot.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm smoking.
Look, it's no big deal.

I'll quit before it affects my looks.

I'm a little more worried
about your health,

and the health of everybody around you.

Well, almost everyone.

Okay, look, I do not think
smoking is that bad for you.

I think tobacco's a vegetable.

- [mouthing words]
- Yeah.

Cheyenne, take it from me.

It is not worth it.

I mean, sure,
you look cool and sophisticated,

especially if you got
a sterling silver case

and a holder like I did.

- Wait, you used to smoke?
- Pack a day.

And I'm telling you,
smoking makes you a social pariah.

Nobody wants anything to do with you.

Are you sure they knew you smoked?

Ha, ha, Fräulein.

Okay, look, I know it's bad for me,
but it helps me not want to drink.

Honey, if you're having
a hard time with this,

maybe I shouldn't have
this party for my clients.

I mean, there'll be
a lot of drinking there.

No, Mom, look, I told you,

I cannot live in some fake world
and pretend that alcohol doesn't exist.

I just need to smoke right now
to help me get through this.

Look, let's work something out.

Cheyenne, I'm sure if you quit smoking,

Reba will let you
have a snort now and then.

No.

She will not smoke,
and she will not drink.

As for you, you can smoke and drink
and go skydivin', for all I care.

I bet she's the life of Oktoberfest.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey, hey.

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Hey, Mrs. H.

Oh, Van, good.
I'm just finishing you up a grocery list.

Sorry. Don't have time.

I got our party later on,

and I still have to work
on my conversational pieces.

- Conversational pieces?
- Hey.

It's hard work being witty.

And I don't want to step
on my tongue like the last party.

I don't know why pregnant women
get so touchy

when you ask them when they're due.

That's because she wasn't pregnant.

And she wasn't a she.

Well, I'm pretty sure
he was wearing maternity pants.

Van, look, Cheyenne's
going through some stuff--

Yeah, I know, I know.
Watch her like a hawk.

I was going to say--

Be supportive.
I know, I got it.

Man, you take stuff so seriously.

Stop it.

It's just that I'm worried

that she's having a harder time
with all this than we thought she would.

Now, we need to be aware

and pay attention
to what she's going through.

Man, Mrs. H, life does not
have to be a constant,

"Grr, look at me, I'm Reba."

"What obstacle do I
have to overcome today?"

Just go with it, man.

Da, da, da, da, da, da.

Da, da, da, da, aah.

Man, Cheyenne,
your mom's got a bug up her nose.

She's all over me, how I should be
watching you like a hawk,

and what a tough time you're going through

and, "Grr, I'm Reba."

You know how she is.

Wait, why are you supposed
to be watching me?

Was she asking about my drinking again?

Yeah. Like I don't pay attention.

I should have been, "Look, Red,

I'm her husband."

"I got this."

"I know what she's up to."

But I didn't.
You know why?

'Cause I'm afraid of her.

You know...

this is really starting
to get on my nerves.

I mean, you, you admit
that you have a problem,

you take the steps to deal with it,

and then, all of a sudden,
everybody treats you

like you're a completely different person.

You know? Why...

can't everyone realize that I'm just
the same old Cheyenne as I always was?

Exactly.

I realize it because I'm aware.

Hey, can I have one of those vitamins?

Give me a Wilma and a Dino.

You know what, I had a Dino yesterday.
Make it a Barney.

No. Van, those vitamins are not for you.

Are those chick vitamins?

- Will I grow boobs?
- No.

Okay, I'm gonna tell you something,
but you cannot repeat it.

It's called disulfiram.

You're right, I can't repeat that.

It's a prescription medicine
for alcoholics.

It makes you violently ill
if you drink alcohol.

A pill that makes you sick if you drink?

Doesn't that ruin drinking?

Well, that's the point.

It's called, "Booze Away."

- Oh. Cool.
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

I know that if I have one of these,
I can't have a drink.

So why are you hiding them from your mom?

'Cause I don't want her to find out.

She's been on my case about everything.

She's always snooping around,
looking for signs of trouble.

So promise me, Van, if she asks you,

as far as you're concerned,
those are just vitamins.

- Got it.
- Mmm.

- Thank you, honey.
- [coughs]

H-Have you always smoked?

[Brock] Hey, guys. Listen.

It's about Cheyenne.

You know, I think we should
all be impressed

that she hasn't had a drink in two weeks.

Hey, I haven't peed in six hours.

But when somebody gives up something
like Cheyenne has done,

well, sometimes, they do other things,

things that we might wish
they weren't doing.

- Like what?
- Well, like, for instance, smoking.

Smoking what?

Cigarettes.

I just wanted to make sure that you guys
weren't gonna look at Cheyenne smoking

and think, "Oh, wow, she looks so cool."

"Maybe I should try that."

Oh, man.
That last sip topped me off.

Did you honestly think I'd start smoking
just because Cheyenne is?

You know, I just didn't want for you
to be curious about cigarettes,

and for that to lead to you tryin' 'em.

Here. You want to take a look?

I've seen 'em before, Dad.

These are nasty little buggers.

I know how seductive
these things can be, Kyra.

I used to smoke.

I didn't know that.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I quit before Cheyenne was born.

I haven't smoked since.

Good for you.

You know, you might find yourself
in a situation

where somebody
offers you one of these things.

I have.

That's when I used that powerful,
"just say no," technique.

"Just smell that tobacco," they might say.

Thanks for the advice.
You can throw those away now.

[chuckles] You're darn straight
I'm throwin' 'em away,

because smoking is bad and evil, Kyra.

Bad and evil, I tell ya.

Oh, baby.

Geez, Mrs. H,
you sure did get a lot of booze.

Well, Van, a lot of people
feel uncomfortable

at these business-type get-togethers.

So a few drinks, kind of, help
break down the barriers.

That way, they can relax

and get right
to their conversational pieces.

It is hard work being witty.

Oh, look.
There's Cheyenne's purse.

You know, I'm halfway tempted
just to go through it

to make sure she got rid of those
stupid cigarettes.

Oh, who am I kiddin'?

You know, I'm just doin' this
because I'm trying to protect her.

What do I care?
She goes through your purse.

Nope. No cigarettes.
Just a bottle of vitamins.

Vitamins?

No, no, no, no, no.

Van, what are you doing?

Th-These vitamins are for women.

Van, I'm a woman.

Don't you have special vitamins
for people your age?

You know, for...

bone loss.

- Fork 'em over.
- Seriously, Mrs. H.

You don't need these vitamins.
You look terrific.

I'm serious. You're hot.

If I wasn't married to your daughter,

- I would totally--
- Ah! Stop it!

Look, Van, we're fixing to have a party,

and I don't have time
for these silly games, come on.

All right, I'll tell you what.

If you can snatch this out of my hand
before I close it...

Probably won't be needing
my conversational pieces.

In our real estate dealings,
Van and I focus on being positive.

Like I always say,

if life gives you lemons,
make yourself a screwdriver.

[laughs]

Oh! [chuckles]

- Hey.
- Van, what are you doing?

I, I think this bottle of vodka is bad.

Yep, it's flat.
Let me get you a fizzy one.

Cheyenne, where have you been?
I need your help.

- What are you doing?
- Oh!

Trying to keep your mom
from drinking this vodka.

Honey, you could just
pour it down the drain.

Mmm. Yeah.

I could.

Wait, why are you
trying to keep Mom from drinking?

Because before the party,
your mother snooped through your purse,

found your bottle of Booze Away pills,
thought they were vitamins and took one.

- What?
- Now, if she takes a drink,

she's gonna blow like Mount Rushmore.

You have to tell her.

Now? In the middle of her big party?

I can't pound this whole bottle of vodka!

I barely got down the scotch.

Look, Van,

if I tell her,
I'm just gonna get some big, old lecture.

We'll just keep her from drinking, okay?

Keep your mom from drinking?

Have you even seen her at parties?

It's like she's sponsored by Smirnoff.

Van, quick, she's got wine.

Go, go, go.

As I was saying, Van is my son-in-law,

and I thought, "Well, I'll just
bring him in to work with me,"

and, and he's been doing
a really good job.

[sneezes]

Van!

Oh, my gosh.
Is that my gum?

Here, let me get it out.

Wine's a little corky.
You should probably switch to juice.

I'll just have a beer.

I think we're out.

No, there's one right over there.

Excellent beer spottage, Mrs. H.
Good eye.

Good eye.

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm, like I said, we're out.

Well, if anybody wants a beer,
we can just squeeze Van. [laughs]

If you'll just pardon us
just for a sec here. [chuckles]

Van, what's wrong with you?

I'm a little buzzed there, Redster.

Look, Mom.

We found out
that alcoholism is hereditary,

which means you could
easily get it from me.

I appreciate your concern,
but I have to give a speech,

and I don't have anything to toast with.

Well...

Just say you'd like to make a toast,

then hold up a piece of bread!

You see?

Booze doesn't make you charming.

- Humor does.
- Yeah.

[chuckles]

Move.

Everyone.

- Pardon me.
- [clinks]

[chuckles]

I'd like to thank you all
for coming out today.

You know, real estate
isn't about houses and land.

It's about people.

And Van and I feel like our...

our clients are the best
darn people in all of Houston.

So, cheers.

Mrs. H, no!

Um...

[chuckles nervously]

Real estate's also about, um...

family.

- I-I-It's family togetherness.
- [Cheyenne] Mmm-hmm.

You know? And, um, looks like someone
starting their own family.

Ma'am, when are you due?

- Van, she is not pregnant.
- What?

- So, everyone, cheers. Cheers.
- [glasses clinking]

So, stick around, have a great time.

Relax. Enjoy yourself.

And when you go home tonight,
think about who...

Th-Think about who put you there.

Think about...

Oh, God, excuse me.

Oh. Oh.

Well.

- This has given us a lot to think about.
- Yeah.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Ah.

[sniffs]

[Barbra Jean] Brock?

Did you just spray yourself
with canola oil?

Did I what?

No, of course not.

- Oh, you mean that?
- Yeah.

- Yes. Yes, I did.
- Oh.

You mind telling me why
you just sprayed yourself with canola oil?

They say it's very good for the skin.

And every time I walk into a room today,

you are spraying yourself with something.

Cologne.

Air freshener.

Cookin' spray.

I find that odd.

And it makes me
want to ask you a question.

Oh?

What's her name?

- Whose name?
- The skirt you been runnin' around with.

The one whose perfume
you're trying to cover up.

Is it that tramp Kathy Tillman?

- Oh, Brock!
- Oh! Barbra Jean!

Look! There's nobody.

- I sw--
- You liar!

Barbra Jean. Look.

It's...

It's this.

I've been smoking.

- Smoking?
- Yeah.

Who got you hooked on smoking?

That tramp Kathy Tillman?

Barbra Jean.

Think.

What would I need with another woman
when I have these?

Honey, this is not okay.

We have two children living in this house.

You cannot smoke.
This has got to stop.

It will. It will. I swear.

You know, I'm...

I'm just gonna finish this pack,

- and then I'll--
- Brock.

Fine.

I'll go to the store and get some patches.

And, honey, I, I'm sorry.

- I got so crazy back there.
- Mmm.

And just so you know,

Kathy Tillman is one of my
nearest and dearest friends.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Don't worry, Mrs. H.

I told everybody
you'd been drinking all day.

Van.

Your breath is making me nauseous.

Right back at ya.

Oh! Good Lord.

Van, leave Mom alone.

And quit breathing on her.
She's sick.

I don't, I don't understand it.
I was feeling terrific.

Yeah. It doesn't make any sense.

I mean, you eat right, you work out,

you take your vitamins.

- [continues laughing]
- Knock it off, Van.

Oh, I'm just making a little joke.

She has no idea what I'm talking about.

What are you talking about?

Oh. Oh, I'm not telling.

[singsong] Not telling. Not telling.

Seriously, you'll be mad.

Cheyenne, what is he talking about?
Tell me right now.

All right.

All right, clearly the hens
need some time to cluckety-cluck.

This rooster's gonna be upstairs.

[clicks tongue, sighs]

What is he talking about?

Okay, you're probably
not gonna think this is funny now,

what with all the vomiting
and stuff, but...

when you feel better, I promise you,
you are gonna see the humor.

Step it up, Cheyenne.

- I'm about to wreck your blouse.
- Okay.

Here's the thing.

That vitamin that you took earlier,

well, it's not exactly a vitamin, it's...

It's called Booze Away,

and it makes you sick
if you drink alcohol.

And I didn't realize how sick. So...

[chuckles] Boy, that is a warnin'.

So you take a pill so you don't drink?

What do they think about that
down at the meeting?

Oh, okay, about the meetings,

I stopped going.

Cheyenne, why would you stop
going to the meetings?

Well, because I had to.

They got a bell.

What?

Well, you used to be able
to talk about yourself

for as long as you wanted,
and everyone had to listen.

But now, when they think
you talk too long, they ring a bell on ya.

And I'm the only one they do it to.

Oh, honey,
I'm sure it just seems that way.

Oh, they call it, "getting Cheyenned."

Well, what are those people thinkin'?

The whole point of having the meeting is
so you'll talk about your drinkin'.

Okay, well, that's not exactly
what I talk about.

Okay.

What is it you do talk about?

I talk about lots of stuff.

You know, like...

shopping and makeup and shoes.

American Idol.

Cheyenne, it's a 12-step meeting,
not a slumber party.

Why don't you talk about the drinking?

- Well, because that's embarrassing.
- Really?

More embarrassing than getting Cheyenned?

I just want this to be over.

I know you do, honey.

But it's gonna be a struggle,

and something you're gonna have
to deal with for the rest of your life.

Well, thanks for the pep talk.

I'm through giving you pep talks.

You're gonna have to stop
taking the easy way out.

So I'm supposed to go to those meetings
and have them ring a bell on me?

If that's what it takes to get you better,

then, yes, ma'am,
you're gonna have to do it.

Fine.

I'll go, but I'm gonna start
by telling 'em how mean my mom is.

Okay.

Cheyenne.

I need you.

[affecting Hispanic accent]
I need you to come upstairs with me...

and clean the lamp that I broke.

[chuckles] Reba!

Reba! Reba! Reba! Reba!
[shouts, laughs]

[shouts] Reba!

Why is this bed so high?

Why are there so many pillows?

[grunts]

Hey, Van.

So, I decided that I'm gonna go back
to my meeting tomorrow.

And I cannot wait,
because I have so much to talk about.

Which reminds me,
I gotta pick out an outfit.

I was shopping at the mall
today at my favorite store,

and I saw this really cute pair of pants.

I mean, they were a little trashy.

Not trashy on me,
but trashy on other people.

But it turns out
they didn't even have my size.

You know what?

It is so cool that I can talk to you
about stuff like this,

since I can't talk about it
at my meeting anymore.

- I totally forgot to tell you.
- [ringing]

I was with Elizabeth.

We were walking through the mall,
and this girl came up to us,

and she wanted us to take
pictures of Elizabeth,

- 'cause she said she was beautiful...
- [loud ringing]

[closing theme music playing]

Acme! [coughing]