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1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:04,254
There it is.
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,673
Kill it.
3
00:00:06,966 --> 00:00:08,342
Dewey, a spider has
just as much right
4
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,218
to live as you or I.
5
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:13,263
Besides, it's unlucky to
kill it in the house.
6
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,892
Okay.
7
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,143
Hello, little fella.
8
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,061
Come on, sweetheart.
9
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,355
Oh!
10
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,070
Go! Go! Go!
11
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,532
Open the door! Open the door!
12
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,074
Front or back or side?!
13
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,953
Side. No, back. No, front!
Front!
14
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,082
Oh, my God, did we just...?
15
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,083
Go.
16
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,335
She can only ground me.
17
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,796
Get your keys and go.
18
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:47,088
But... Go!
19
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,721
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
20
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,139
♪ I don't know ♪
21
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,393
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
22
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,687
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
23
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,105
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
24
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,483
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
25
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,527
♪ And you're not so big ♪
26
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,905
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
27
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,114
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
28
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,575
♪ You're not the
boss of me now ♪
29
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:18,412
♪ And you're not so big ♪
30
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:23,375
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
31
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,383
My dad's company
picnic is tomorrow.
32
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,176
Laurie Millbrook is
going to be there.
33
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,930
I've kind of had a crush
on her since third grade.
34
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:42,019
I haven't seen her since she
moved across town last year.
35
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,145
I've grown about four
inches since then,
36
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,023
but I can't just count on that.
37
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,983
If I do, like, 10,000
of these tonight,
38
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,360
I should have something
to show by tomorrow.
39
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,447
Dewey, no candy tomorrow.
40
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,740
Do you understand?
41
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,824
But I'll be fine.
42
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,034
No, you won't.
43
00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,619
What happened at the
last company picnic?
44
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,163
I got in a fight with
that redheaded boy.
45
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,498
And why did you do that?
46
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,167
'Cause I ate candy.
47
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,169
Because you ate candy.
48
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,881
You do not metabolize
sugar well.
49
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,173
You get mean and crazy,
50
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,175
you get into fights and
you end up crying.
51
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,219
Do you want that to
happen again this year?
52
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,638
No. No.
53
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,056
Now go get ready for bed.
54
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,432
Okay.
55
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,267
What do you think? This..
56
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,394
or this?
57
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,229
What are you doing?
58
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,356
This is an important
office function, Lois.
59
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,067
It's a company picnic.
60
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,819
A picnic attended
by my new boss,
61
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,194
whom I haven't met yet.
62
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,656
I have to start off
on the right foot.
63
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,491
Hal, you're making
too much of this.
64
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,492
No, I am not.
65
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:39,576
If I've learned one thing
66
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,870
it's that you have to make
a good first impression.
67
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,581
It sets a tone for the
entire relationship.
68
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,207
Hal, this is your new supervisor
69
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,793
Ms. Plum.
70
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,210
Great to meet you, Hal.
71
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,005
I'm really looking forward
to working with you.
72
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,297
Same here.
73
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,010
Oh, and what do we have here?
74
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,430
My big fat stomach.
75
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,517
You know, I'd like you
to meet your staff
76
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,226
but I'm not quite sure
where everyone went.
77
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,237
It is great to meet you, Mr.
Jacobson.
78
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,405
I just want you to know
79
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,241
that I am going to do a
terrific job for you.
80
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,910
Well, that's great, Hal.
I'm sure you are.
81
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,662
Have you met my daughter
and son-in-law?
82
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,080
No, I haven't had the pleasure.
83
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,082
Kelly? Steve?
84
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,376
I want you to meet somebody.
85
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:31,045
Hi, I'm Hal.
86
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,253
Hi, Hal.
87
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,672
So, nice...
88
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,423
Oh, oh!
89
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,299
Oh, my God!
90
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,553
There's a toothpick in my eye!
91
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,971
She's gushing blood.
92
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:43,515
For God's sakes, somebody put
a tourniquet on her neck!
93
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,518
I'm outside of my body.
94
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,436
I can see a light.
95
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,313
Grandma, is that you?
96
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,899
You son of a bitch!
97
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,274
I'm going to chew off your face!
98
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,359
I'm going to spit it out
99
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,569
and I'm going to dance on it!
100
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,904
I'm going to kill you!
101
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,279
I'm going to drag your carcass
102
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,447
through the streets!
103
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,449
She's got a toothpick
in her eye!
104
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,870
It's like a chess game, Lois.
105
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,288
Every subtle move is vital.
106
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,750
Eight...
107
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,797
Oh, my God!
108
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,298
What'd you do? You're huge!
109
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,300
Shut up. I'd be careful.
110
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,511
You might frighten Laurie
with your savage manliness.
111
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,097
Who says I'm doing
it for Laurie?
112
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,140
Oh, so Laurie's fair game, then?
113
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,308
I wonder if she likes older men.
114
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,309
Reese, don't.
115
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,686
Look, I really like this girl.
116
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,312
Please.
117
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,898
It's my first chance to see her
118
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,899
since she moved away.
119
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,316
I'm asking you as a brother.
120
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,318
Please don't be a jerk
and screw this up.
121
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,989
Wow, this desperate
groveling is new for you.
122
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:42,574
Keep it up.
123
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,329
You call yourselves
a hockey team?
124
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,207
If we're going to
beat McAllister Oil,
125
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,332
you're going to have to play
126
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,918
a hell of a lot
better than that.
127
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,335
You're making stupid mistakes.
128
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,712
You're missing opportunities.
129
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,714
You got to keep your
mind on the game.
130
00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,300
Are our paychecks here yet?
131
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,511
Aren't you done
with that sink yet?
132
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,554
Are you kidding?
133
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,514
There's more in here
than when I started.
134
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,349
You're not leaving till
that sink is finished.
135
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,852
It would go a lot faster
if Eric were helping.
136
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:14,148
I'm not letting my star player
anywhere near that toxic filth.
137
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,941
I slave away all day by myself
138
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,734
just because he plays hockey?
139
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,361
He doesn't just play hockey.
140
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,822
He skates like the wind.
141
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,365
And he's got a
70-mile-an-hour slap shot.
142
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,367
Well, indoors... fresh ice.
143
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,412
We're going to teach those thugs
from the oil rig a lesson
144
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,039
they'll never forget.
145
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,624
Those chicks won't
know what hit 'em.
146
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,293
You're playing girls?
147
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,378
Well, the men won't play us
till we beat their ladies team.
148
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,797
We're fed up with those girls.
149
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,091
They play dirty,
they make fun of us
150
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,592
and they steal our women.
151
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,386
Wow. People who are actually
more humiliated than me.
152
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,763
I'd love to see that.
153
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:47,848
Wish granted.
154
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,390
You're our new
equipment manager.
155
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,391
What?
156
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,186
Renaldo came down
with jock lung.
157
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,313
Here's your check.
158
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,647
Here you go, Eric.
159
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,607
There's a little something
extra in there for you.
160
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,483
Thanks.
161
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,442
Wait a minute.
162
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,236
There's no money in this check.
163
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,403
It says I owe you $14.
164
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,405
I didn't even buy
anything last week.
165
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,783
There's been some cost
of living increases.
166
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,409
Your room, your board,
your pillow rental,
167
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,911
then there's those rubber gloves
168
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,412
you insist on wearing, princess.
169
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,998
This is insane.
170
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,916
I'm not going to
work 60 hours a week
171
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,835
and still end up
owing you money.
172
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,836
I quit.
173
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,629
Fine. Just give me the
$604 you racked up
174
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,422
since you got here,
you're free to go.
175
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,008
What?
176
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,469
How could I possibly have $604 when
you keep taking all my money?!
177
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,846
Well, then shut up!
178
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,264
And get back to work.
179
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,724
And you better not
180
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,517
let your equipment
manager duties
181
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,644
get in the way of
your real work.
182
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,399
Man, that sucks.
183
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,364
Hello.
184
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,447
Malcolm, great.
It's me-- Francis.
185
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,949
Listen, I'm in a
real bind up here...
186
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,450
Francis, I don't have any money.
187
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,451
Wait, hear me out.
188
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,619
Tell Mom they're sending
189
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,747
all the smart kids
to Washington, DC.
190
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,166
Hit her up for $600
and then just spend
191
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,334
a long a weekend at Stevie's...
192
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,668
Reese, phone.
193
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,461
Hello.
194
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,462
Reese, great.
195
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,673
Um, you know that
hardware store on Second?
196
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,176
Okay, they've got a real
slippery entryway...
197
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,845
Dewey, phone.
198
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:09,846
Francis?
199
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:10,764
Yep.
200
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,182
Money? Yep.
201
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,530
I don't know why I
go to these things.
202
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,699
I am so nervous.
203
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:32,744
My stomach sounds like a
bunch of dogs fighting.
204
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,870
Listen to this.
205
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,496
Put your ear down there.
206
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,790
Hal, you'll be fine.
207
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,711
What are you doing?
208
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,963
Just keep moving.
209
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,173
Hal, do you even know
your new boss is here?
210
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,925
Are you kidding?
They're all here.
211
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:47,968
There's Landon.
212
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,511
He's the head of
the whole company.
213
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,763
Of course the new guy's here.
214
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,764
Don't talk nonsense!
215
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,433
Well, you've never met the man.
216
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,517
Do you even know who
you're hiding from?
217
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,478
That's a good point.
218
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,522
Barry, is the new boss here yet?
219
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,358
Yeah. He's right over there.
220
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,694
Let me know when you're going
to introduce yourself.
221
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,196
Most of us figure
222
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,906
you're going to set him on fire.
223
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,616
Hey, no fair giving him ideas.
Bet's off.
224
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,618
Come on, fellas, I'm
nervous enough as it is.
225
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,912
Hal, we're just teasing you.
226
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,622
Come on. You'll do fine.
227
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,791
You and I both
know that's a lie.
228
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,043
Yeah, well, I tried.
229
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,722
Oh, hi, Mom.
230
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,808
Splendid day for a picnic.
231
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,352
You want to do this the easy way
232
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,394
or the hard way?
233
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,646
The hard way.
234
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,857
Spread 'em.
235
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:53,658
Honey, I'm not always going
to be around to do this.
236
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,785
You have to control yourself.
237
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,412
I know.
238
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,292
Undies.
239
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,009
Malcolm?
240
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,593
Laurie, hi.
241
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,554
It's so good to see you.
242
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,599
Yeah... good to see you, too.
243
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,520
Wow, I can't believe
how tall you are.
244
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,812
Yeah... well, you know.
245
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,105
Oh, man,
246
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,606
I've missed you guys so much.
247
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,983
I've missed you, too...
248
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,403
I mean, we've all missed you.
249
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,112
Everyone. Not just me.
250
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,198
Hey, are you doing that
three-legged scavenger hunt?
251
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,699
The what? They tie your leg
252
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,410
to another person
and send you off
253
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,618
into the woods to find stuff.
254
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,538
It might be fun. Plus
you can win $100.
255
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,081
I just need a partner.
256
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,333
Do you want to do it?
257
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,625
Really?
258
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,919
Yeah. It sounds great.
259
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,712
Cool.
260
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,630
Is that your brother?
261
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,840
Hi, Reese.
262
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,300
Sorry, I'm gay.
263
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,094
Okay.
264
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,438
You work for the company
or are you a drag-along?
265
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,813
Definitely a drag-along.
266
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,940
Oh, me, too. Me, too.
267
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,443
My husband drags me along
to these functions,
268
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,445
then he runs off and
talks to his friends.
269
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,071
I hide. Hide?
270
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,282
From my kids.
271
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,242
It's so great to have
somebody to talk to.
272
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,160
I'm really so bad at
social situations.
273
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,496
My psychiatrist says
274
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,498
that I'm emotionally detached
275
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,708
and that I have
paranoid fantasies
276
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,753
about what people are
thinking about me.
277
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,172
Uh-huh.
278
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,673
Yeah.
279
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,759
Sometimes it can
get really ugly.
280
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,678
False accusations, crying jags.
281
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,680
I don't know why my
husband married me.
282
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,558
Oh, I mean, I know why I
married him, of course.
283
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,269
Because I'm addicted
to disapproval.
284
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,686
Ah. Really?
285
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,730
Oh, yeah, yeah.
286
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,983
Of course, I only
have myself to blame
287
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,277
because he's exactly
like my father was.
288
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,572
Oh, my God, he was
so judgmental.
289
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,781
Every time I opened my mouth,
290
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,699
I felt like I was torturing him.
291
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,996
Go! Good hustle!
292
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,706
Nice slashing!
293
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,334
Guys, let's go!
294
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,793
Keep it moving!
295
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,711
Keep your legs moving!
296
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,298
Good!
297
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,716
Push it!
298
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,801
Good move, Wendy!
299
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,136
Don't relax!
300
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,804
Wow, they're good.
301
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,140
They got nothing on my boy.
302
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,517
How's the diarrhea?
303
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,643
You feeling all right?
304
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,726
Tip-top.
305
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,562
Hey, Coach, there's Lavernia.
306
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,524
I hear she might actually
have a team this year.
307
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,317
You think we ought to
adjust the front line?
308
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,653
Clarence... Clarence.
309
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,530
What?
310
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,739
Oh, hey, Lavernia.
311
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:39,824
I was afraid
312
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,742
you'd show your face.
313
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,662
Not that I was afraid
you'd play me--
314
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:46,914
just that you'd show your face.
Ha!
315
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,333
Hello, Clarence.
316
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,752
I thought you only gave
your pep talks in your van.
317
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,754
Ah, you'll get a boyfriend
one of these days.
318
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:57,133
You'll have that
moment of bliss,
319
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,759
and then you'll
bite his head off
320
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,221
and lay your rotten eggs
down his decapitated body.
321
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,682
Come on, was that
comment necessary?
322
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:05,850
That's exactly why
people don't like you.
323
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,686
People like me.
324
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,770
Who doesn't like me?
325
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,772
I got a good feeling
about today.
326
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,940
Look at these girls.
327
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,150
They're not so tough.
328
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,485
Wait till I get out there.
329
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,570
I'm going to go...
330
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,586
How's my breath?
331
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,003
It seems fine.
332
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,796
Not too minty?
333
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,173
'Cause that can be just as bad.
334
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,008
Please give me back my compact.
335
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,724
Okay, get in, get out.
336
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,766
Just say hello and go.
337
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,686
Nope.
338
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,188
Mr. Landon, hello.
339
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,398
Hey, Hal.
340
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,982
I told you about the first
time I met this guy, right?
341
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,817
The urinal cake guy.
342
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,028
Unbelievable.
343
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,614
But I didn't fire him.
344
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,657
He's turned out to
be one of our finest
345
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:03,824
systems managers.
346
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,702
Just goes to show you that
even a gibbering idiot
347
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,203
can surprise you.
348
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,872
Oh, you know, sir, that would
make a great chapter heading
349
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,831
for your new book.
350
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:14,001
I thought he dropped
his pill case.
351
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,837
Excuse me for being considerate.
352
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,757
Hi. John Pratt!
353
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,467
It is a pleasure to meet you!
354
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,551
Hi.
355
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,677
You are a hard man to find.
356
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,012
I finally had to have
someone point you out.
357
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,848
Well, it's not like
I'm avoiding you.
358
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,853
I had heard you had a
great sense of humor.
359
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,566
I know it's just going to
be great working with you.
360
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,485
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
361
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:43,573
Well, I-I should get
back to my family now.
362
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,532
Oh, right, right.
363
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,866
I'm sorry to hold you up.
364
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,369
It is a real pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Landon.
365
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,622
Same here.
366
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,469
All right, boys, you
got ten minutes.
367
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,887
Leave your wallets and
other valuables in here.
368
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:07,888
And hustle up.
369
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,266
We got to get out on
the ice and warm up.
370
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,892
I don't think I can play.
371
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,354
My glute cramped up
on the ride over.
372
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,355
You have to play.
373
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:18,065
Go lay down on that table.
374
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,484
You.
375
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,819
Get over there.
376
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,153
Give him a good, strong massage.
377
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,405
Work that knot out of his glute.
378
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,199
Out of his what?
379
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,829
No way!
380
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,413
He's our goalie. We need him.
381
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:33,206
No!
382
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,834
Look, you owe me $604.
383
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,753
You do this, I'll take
off a dollar fifty.
384
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,087
A dollar fifty?!
385
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,088
And if you don't,
386
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,800
I'll charge you 50 bucks
for the ride home.
387
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,635
The rest of you get out there!
388
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,846
Show them what you got.
389
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,930
Here, you're responsible
for these valuables
390
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,474
till after the game.
391
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,936
Don't be afraid to dig in deep.
392
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,773
If it helps, I'll
unhitch the trapdoor.
393
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,031
Get up, you idiot!
394
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,949
What, are you stupid?!
395
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,539
I said hustle to the crease!
396
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,207
Hustle!
397
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,418
Hey, I was just hanging
out in the locker room
398
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,960
and the other coach
approached me.
399
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,047
What's that gin-soaked,
reptilian sack of dog logs
400
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,424
trying to pull now?
401
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,342
He wants to make a
little wager with you
402
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,968
on the outcome of the game.
403
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,597
$642 to be exact.
404
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,972
I don't bet.
405
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,183
I earn my money, and
I hold on to it.
406
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,895
Yeah, he said you'd be afraid.
407
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,646
Oh, he did?
408
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,815
He also said that John
Grisham was a hack
409
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,984
with no sense of plot and
a tin ear for dialogue.
410
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:44,985
What?!
411
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,487
He said that about Mr. Grisham?
412
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:50,199
All right, he wants
to bet, we'll bet.
413
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,910
Tell him to make it $700.
414
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,162
He was pretty adamant
about the $642.
415
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,372
Fine.
416
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,998
Hey, Chuck!
417
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,376
I need you to hold on
to some bet money.
418
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,629
Okay.
419
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,005
That idiot Clarence has no idea
420
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,508
what we've got in store for him.
421
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,927
Go, go!
422
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,844
Go!
423
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,053
Oh, ho-ho!
424
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,309
Easiest $700 I ever made.
425
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,019
I don't know what's
with my skates.
426
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:19,938
The blades are so dull.
427
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,064
Hey, somebody unscrewed mine.
428
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,610
I got Vaseline all
over my grip tape.
429
00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:29,029
Go, go, go, go!
430
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,535
He is never home.
431
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,203
The last time that we
had dinner together
432
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,455
was six months ago.
433
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,915
And that was with his boss.
434
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,250
Oh, and did I tell you
about our anniversary?
435
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,877
I bought $30 worth of candles.
436
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,044
$30 worth.
437
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,339
And I was wearing a negligee
the size of a postage stamp.
438
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,842
He walks in an hour late,
goes straight to the computer
439
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,718
and spends the next six
hours in a chat room.
440
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,554
I drank an entire
bottle of champagne.
441
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,056
Then I passed out and I
woke up the next morning
442
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,058
with the dog licking my face.
443
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,895
And I actually thought
it was my husband.
444
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,355
I'm going to go see
what my boys...
445
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,273
I mean, as if he
would ever show me
446
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,525
any kind of affection.
447
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,067
I mean, as far as
he's concerned,
448
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,528
I am still the fat lady
449
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,070
that answered his
psychiatrist's phone.
450
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,073
I mean, in my mind
451
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,284
I do see myself
as a 200-pounder.
452
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,287
But I have seen the way
that other men look at me.
453
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,539
Wanda!
454
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,081
Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
455
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,542
Wanda, this is Meg.
Meg, this is Wanda.
456
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,335
Why don't you two get
to know each other.
457
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,004
I'm going to get
something to drink.
458
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,087
I'll be right back.
459
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,464
Um...
460
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,091
So, how do you know Lois?
461
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,053
Que?
462
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,098
I like you. You're fun.
463
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,976
I like you, too.
464
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,644
Want some of my candy?
465
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:47,817
But he... My... my candy!
466
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,111
You fill up on that bread.
467
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,907
Better you get sick on
that than on candy.
468
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,115
You understand me?
469
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,117
I got enough to worry about
470
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,453
without you going crazy on me.
471
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,042
Stay here!
472
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,133
Hi, Lois.
473
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,427
Are you hiding back here?
474
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,596
No, no. Just enjoying the shade.
475
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,138
Did you meet your new boss yet?
476
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,849
Yep. Well, how did it go?
477
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,018
Fine. Good guy. We
really hit it off.
478
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,811
What happened?
479
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,229
What do you mean,
"What happened?"
480
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,564
It went well. He likes me.
481
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,148
Is that such a hard
thing to imagine
482
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,609
I made a good first impression?
483
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,985
Hey, Mr. Landon!
484
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,236
You should give me
a little credit.
485
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,154
Mr. Landon! Hey, boss!
486
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,197
Is that man call...
487
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,240
Of course he isn't.
488
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,158
Whatever you were going to say--
489
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,994
whatever that was-- he isn't.
490
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,955
Hal, I'm not going
anywhere until you ex...
491
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,414
Lois! Lois!
492
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,751
Excuse me.
493
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,502
Mr. Landon!
494
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,840
So, did I tell you
495
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,802
that his mother is coming
to visit me this week?
496
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:59,179
I mean, she despises me, but
at least she talks to me.
497
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,974
My husband, on the other hand
498
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,601
hasn't said two words besides
"Where's the remote?"
499
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,186
and "How far are
those going to sag?"
500
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,563
This really isn't a good time.
501
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,189
And every year
502
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,900
he has to go to this
stupid get-together
503
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,234
for his old friends
from college.
504
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,987
We're about to walk
into this party
505
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,071
and he turns to me
506
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,864
and he tells me not to
say anything stupid.
507
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,199
Well, how's a person
supposed to respond to that?
508
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,200
I embarrass him one time.
509
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,201
I mean, big deal
510
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,411
I didn't know who
Ernest Hemingway was.
511
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,163
I mean a lot of people don't.
512
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,834
All right, girls. Secure.
513
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,628
Okay, Pete and
Kathy, you're next.
514
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,923
It's so great to see
you again, Malcolm.
515
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675
Great to see you, too.
516
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,927
For those of you
without partners
517
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,720
we've done a random pairing.
518
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,221
Mike and Cristina.
519
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,141
Reese and George.
520
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,642
I'm Reese.
521
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,435
I'm George.
522
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,228
You can call me George.
523
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,898
I can eat eight hot dogs.
524
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:54,152
That's good, George.
525
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,904
You've got to be kidding me.
526
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,280
It's really weird being away
527
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,033
from all my friends
I grew up with.
528
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,492
I'll bet.
529
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,912
Malcolm, can I ask
you something?
530
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,040
Sure.
531
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,290
If you liked somebody
532
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:11,251
and you had no idea if
they liked you back,
533
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,046
would you say something?
534
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:16,256
I've always thought
honesty was a good thing.
535
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,633
Me, too.
536
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,260
But... what if they
lived too far away
537
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,847
and it'd be really hard?
538
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,932
I like you, too, Laurie.
539
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,767
I really, really like you.
540
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,769
Honestly, you have no idea.
541
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,104
I've liked you for years.
542
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,065
I think about you all the time.
543
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,315
Oh, no.
544
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,275
What?
545
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,360
Oh, my God.
546
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,487
I am so sorry.
547
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,281
I was talking about
Gary Spindler.
548
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,533
Oh, no.
549
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,284
Oh. It's okay.
550
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,286
No. This is so humiliating
551
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,287
and it's all my fault.
552
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,332
Oh, Malcolm, I am so sorry.
553
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,085
Really, it's not that...
554
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,045
Malcolm and Laurie.
555
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,215
Now remember,
556
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,134
you're only going to be tied
together for three hours,
557
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,969
so let's get hopping.
34905
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