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THE PACK

Honey, I need to piss, can you help me?

I can't carry heavy objects.

Shit!

Friends of yours?

You're right, yeah.

May I get in?

I warn you, if you don't forget about your cock, you'll get your knuckles rapped.

Don't worry, it's too cold.

Where are we going?

I don't know. But I'm going towards the sun.

Straight on until my CDs get finished.

I come from over there,

and I'm going somewhere over there.

Is there a problem?

Where are you from? The '80s?

Tell me your story.

I love other people's problems. It's like dope to me.

- Oh yeah? - Hmm Hmh.

For me, it's when a guy my age loses his hair.

Oh, damn!

Do you know the story of the masochist,

the sodomite, the sadist,

the murderer, the necrophiliac and the arsonist?

No.

In a mental asylum, a masochist, a sodomite,

a sadist, a murderer, a necrophiliac and an arsonist are bored.

What?

They are bored.

The sodomite said: "What if we fucked the cat?"

Then the sadist replies:"Oh yeah! Let's rape and torture the cat! "

The assassin adds:

"Cool! Let's rape, torture and kill the cat. "

Then the necrophiliac says, "Oh yeah!

We'll rape, torture and kill the cat, and then rape her again. "

Then the arsonist said: "Cool!

Let's rape, torture and kill,

rape again and then burn the cat. "

Silence. They all look at the masochist and ask him:

Hey, and you? You say nothing?

The masochist answers:

"Meow. "

- Yeah, not bad. I knew the story, but with a caribou.

6 hours of bullshit....

I don't want to bother you,

but my dick wants a girl's butt,

and I don't like to keep him waiting!

I'm Bazooka Joe.

And those two are John Grizzly and Jordan Minnesota.

May we join you?

Wanna dance, sweetie?

Your breath would curdle the yogurt, honey.

And besides, I don't like the music.

Don't worry. I just want to feel your ass.

Get lost!

I'm gonna kiss you.

Just try, asshole!

Let me go, shit sack!

Asshole!

Let me go!

I prefer him.

He has a smaller asshole.

Yeah!

I'll fuck him in the ass in the mouth...

...and under the arms.

You'll crash!

Go!

I want no mess at my place!

Get the fuck out!

Otherwise?

Otherwise, I'll paint my floor with the juice from your balls.

Funny, right?

Let's go, guys.

Are you OK?

Go ahead. I'll make you collapse.

Damn!

Shit, I'm down to my underwear!

Come on...

Jump!

Are you lost or what?

Damn!

Shit!

Have you seen a guy in the bathroom? - What?

A guy with long hair, in the toilet?

No.

Sure you haven't seen him?

I didn't see anybody.

Are you in here?

Are you there?

Jean Jean!

For once, I find someone who isn't too dumb--

Hey you!

Jean Jean?

He isn't really gone, is he?

You wouldn't be the first girl abandoned by a guy here.

I saw your very nice photo wall in the toilet.

What's that door for?

Oh! It's been locked for years.

Shouldn't it be opened? - No reason to.

We're closed!

Damn!

Is Jean Jean there?

No, no. Jean Jean's not here.

We had an appointment. It's called "La Spack" here, right?

Yes. Yes, but now "La Spack" is closed.

I'm cleaning. Get lost!

Please!

Are you cleaning for a reason? - Not your business!

Oh, what a jewel!

Is there a problem, Miss?

Can I help you?

At first glance, not much.

You're the sheriff?

Yes. Well, not really.

Now I'm retired.

But if you want some help, I'm right for the job.

Cool.

Call me Chinaski, like everyone else.

So what happened?

Well, I lost a friend. Though...

I haven't really lost him, and he's not really a friend.

He went to the toilet,

and pouff! He disappeared.

You have a relationship with him?

No. I just gave him a lift.

It's not a good idea

for a girl to pick-up hitchhikers.

People are nasty nowadays.

They rape everything that moves. Large, small,

elderly, children, skinny ones, tall ones--

Fat ones?

Yeah. The fat ones too, yeah...

They rape even corpses hanging from the ceiling!

The range of possibilities is vast, miss.

I know, yeah...

Is the fellow... is he an adult?

Of course he's an adult!

Well, I can't do anything for you.

I'm surprised.

When an adult disappears,

you can't do anything.

That is The Law!

Great laws we have!

And if his corpse reappears floating on the surface of a canal?

You overreact. Give me your name and phone number.

- Charlotte Massot. MAS-- - Wait, wait!

MASSOT, Charlotte.

Charlotte...

Char-lot-te.

Phone?

06-1 4-81-1000.

1000...

OK.

Goodbye, miss.

Oh, la la, what a jewel!

Shit!

- I can spot small cuties like her, from miles away.

Here. You take my place in the shed with the rest.

So, my little darling?

Too bad you came back!

That's my boy?

Huh?

Do you like my boy, huh?

Hmm... ?

Here.

John Wayne, John Wayne...

- You should eat, my 'little heart.'

It's not appetizing,

but it's rich in iron.

Here...

...you'll need it!

A good yum yum!

He wasn't well prepared, that one.

OK then?

Go...

Well, anyway!

Go...

John Wayne...

John Wayne... John Wayne... John Wayne...

Hey, you!

Ho!

Hey, you! Untie me!

John Wayne can't help, idiot, untie me!

Look!

Come on!

Hurry!

Ahh, Shit!

Hey, John Wayne, let's see what you can do.

Ah, yeah, John Wayne! John Wayne!

C'mon, c'mon--

Go!

Yes... Yes!

Go ahead, shoot!

Shhh!

Yes!

Yes.

You take care of the stuff--

Shit!

Go ahead.

I'll take care of it here.

I practiced catching in my younger years.

You must be pretty good to get one on me.

Move!

Hello?

Hello...

You won't do this again. Tomorrow's your time for the chair.

John Wayne, John Wayne...

Is there a problem with the toilet?

Yeah.

There was a brawl with a couple of bikers.

So if we want to.... Go outside?

Well, yeah. No choice.

Yeah...

Until tomorrow, Jean Jean. I beat your score.

Uh...

I talked with a Miss Charlotte Massot.

She reported the disappearance of a friend.

Really?

Yes. She came from your place.

When?

Last Saturday.

On the weekends, my mother is here.

Ah...

You'll have to ask her yourself.

Is she here? - No.

She takes care of the farm.

He doesn't look very well.

There was a cop in the bar.

He asked lots of questions.

Who cares about that old fart?

Go and take care of the new ones.

They won't be long now.

I like the little girl.

She's nice.

She's really pretty.

I'm talking to you!

She hasn't always been like that, you know.

When my brothers died, she became crazy.

The authorities preferred to let them die in the mine,

rather than risk the possibility of a gas blast.

We can't do anything against them.

The village people talked about creatures...

...born of mud and the blood of the dead.

Miners were killed underground.

We laughed a lot about that, I can tell you.

It's really weird who they chose, you know.

We dug too deep, I think.

My mother says that the earth wants blood,

and we have no right to refuse.

Bonjour, Madame!

Oh, my God!

Pardon. I did not want to scare you.

It's OK. It's only that I get so few visitors these days.

What can I do for you?

I want you to tell me about Charlotte Massot.

Don't know anything.

But if--

I met her in your yard, not long ago.

Yes, I remember her well...

...pretty little things like her, don't come around here very often.

Oh yes...

small, dark-haired? - Yes.

Pretty girl. - Yes.

It may be that something has happened to her.

What makes you say that?

How about coming in for 5 minutes?

You're standing there looking lost, and I've forgotten my manners!

Sit down.

Thank you.

I'll make a coffee for you.

Although my road--

They're just out there, huh?

All right, all right!

You took me for a coward, eh?

But frankly, I don't blame you.

OK. Come here.

Come here...

I told you it wasn't safe to give a lift to hitchhikers.

Come.

Give me a good reason not to shoot you.

I don't know one.

You?

I'll kill them all!

What are you looking for? -Maybe we have a chance!

They stay below when the moon is descending.

Hidden in the earth! It sends its monsters to us!

We have to go back to the heap.

They can live below the ground.

Well 'La Spack'?

Laughing any less now?

You fat slut!

This isn't the day to quit smoking.

Chinaski? Chinaski!

Forget it. We gotta be there before nightfall.

Chinaski!

Ha!

Look what I found! - Perfect timing.

We're lucky! - We're what?

I wanted to fuck this little slut.

That's right!

It's a mania! - Yeah, but I like it.

The old Spack!

Oh, damn!

She sucks! Why did she throw this head at us?

We're going to fuck her, or shall we start with you?

What's this crap?

We must barricade ouselves.

We must barricade ourselves!

Tonight, she'll let them out, and they'll kill us all.

Out? Let who out?

Believe me, you don't wanna know.

You gonna believe me?

We'll have to break out guys. Do you hear me, you bitches?

You, shut up!

The old one is kidding with us, and we're just trembling like empty cans.

What's that?

It was my father's. He did shooting competitions.

Well, you're well equipped! - Should be enough until dawn.

Does she always wear the metal mesh?

She never takes off her coat of mail, yeah.

Hey!

Max! Get out of there!

The girl has confused you, huh?

It's a 50", granny, you like it?

You really have a problem, you know?

When I shoot you, you have to yell!

Come on, once more!

Even on this side of the barrel...

...you're still the same...

...jerk mouth!

You've got a large mouth for a crazy old bitch!

You're so crazy, that you don't even know when you're being fucked!

It's you who's fucked!

What's that crap?

She wants blood...the earth...

I'll give it to her myself.

Holy shit!

Damn!

That son of a bitch!

Do you want to hear a funny story?

- Yes. - Yeah?

Do you know the story of the masochist, the sodomite...

...the necrophiliac, the sadist the arsonist and the murderer?

- No. - No?

It's really funny.

I'm going to piss, and then I'll tell you the story.

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