Original subtitles

Itzhak Shani - Yosef Diamant Present

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Deshe to Halfon, do you copy, over?

This is Halfon, we copy like hell, attention, over.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

Attention to at ease, I'm tired, over to her.

What happened? -She came over. -Ahhh...

"If your life is a disaster, if you are nervous as hell,

"Get immediately in a Taxi and go to the Reserves.

"If the heart is going crazy and the pressure goes up,

"Take a patriotic vacation and go to the Reserves.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming we run to the Reserves.

"If someone calls us from the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill doesn't answer.

"The wife goes to sleep at 6 between cream and sheets,

"Give her a hug over the rollers and go to the Reserves

"if you haven't given up and you believe

"that the Hatikva is not only a song, Go to the Reserves.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming we run to the Reserves,

"If someone calls us from the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill doesn't answer.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming we run to the Reserves,

"If someone calls us from the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill doesn't answer."

Is there something to eat? -No.

What do you mean, no? I'm hungry, is there any food?

Come at noon. -What noon?

It's already after noon, give me food.

You want Shakshuka? -Shakshuka? -Please. Take a tomato.

What are you doing? What are you doing?!

With the tomato,

you take an egg

and put them together, put it in the oven, three minutes.

A great Shakshuka Please, leave me alone.

Leave me alone now.

Listen, this cannot go on like this.

I'll write to the ombudsman about you. -To whom?

The Chief of Staff. -Go away, jerk.

Go peel the potatoes.

Gingi! Can I tell you what happened in the kitchen?

No. -So, what about my leave? -What? -My leave to go home.

Home! Report at one to the fortifications detail.

All last week I was on the fortifications detail.

So! Listen, Gingi, Hilik got a 24 hour leave.

Yes. Shulka got a 36 hour leave. -Ok, get off of my back!

Now, an invasion of troops to the central sector...

Looking good. Ready for action? -What action?

Gingi, believe me,

all this chase after girls is just a waste of energy.

What girls, Shamgar.

I'll go home, eat, see my girlfriend and retorn.

First sergeants don't need a sergeant on their shoulder,

they need a sergeant major grade on their hand.

Ok, give me the order.

This guy has been avoiding reserve duty for 15 years,

so, take care of it. Everything is written here.

Name of Sergio Constanza, he lives in 55, Hayarkon st.

Why are you laughing? -Hayarkon (whore's street)?

Maniacs. This unit is full of maniacs.

Gingi, bring him here, whatever the cost,

and if he makes trouble, use force.

If the Force makes trouble, switch to Darth Vader.

It will be alright.

So? -For how long did you came?

Just a few hours, | came to pick up a Reserve a.w.o.l.

With leaves like yours I wouldn't stay in the army.

No, I'll be promoted to sergeant major

then I'll have an apartment and mortgage, it will be o.k

You know that I agree. But my father...

It will be alright. I'll talk to him.

Are you crazy? You don't know him.

It's time I did. I'll talk to him now,

you'll see, it will be alright.

I'll go and after minutes, I'll come out and he will

wish us a happy life. Don't be scared.

Don't tell him we met. -It will be alright.

Seat down!

36.6 degrees. Liars,

this thermometer runs behind at least two degrees.

Why don't you buy a swiss thermometer, They are exact.

Maybe you want me to order a cuckoo thermometer?

Mr. Hason, I wanted to talk to you...

I came to talk. to ask for the daughter of your hand

The hand of your daughter.

The hand is ok.

About the other parts, I have to switch to a suit.

Shifra, he is here. -Who is here?

Remember that we wrote to the Find-a-Mate agency?

No. -Never mind.

They sent a soldier-groom.

At this very moment he is asking for your hand.

But, father, there isn't anybody in the living room.

Never mind. Do me a favor, put on something modern,

wear something to hide your face

when I call you, come in but shut up like a mute fish.

Victor Hason, Real Estate and Properties Ltd.

First sergeant Raphael Moked

White? (also: privileged)? -Black number.

Drop-outs recruits. -Strong recruits. what's the net?

After all the deductions and the combat extra pay,

3,200 and six cents.

Round figure. Moked. -Moked.

Any relation to Moked (a program) from the TV?

Maybe, we are a big family. Tanks? -Infantry. -Infantry.

Central Command. -Sinai. -Regards to Arik (Sharon).

He is not there anymore.

Find him. -With pleasure, Mr. Hason.

Mr. Hason, I promise that your daughter will have

a happy life with the new family of your daughter.

I say that your daughter is A. the acme of perfection,

B. the top of beauty, C. the joy of my life.

First sergeant Moked, your daughter is mine.

My daughter is yours? -Do you have a daughter? -No.

For the last time, Moked. My daughter is yours.

Thank you very much, Mr. Hason.

I saw immediately that you are one those fathers

that puts his daughter in front of him, his.

You are a good flatterer.

With your permission, I'd like to invite the bride.

She is outside. -She is inside.

First sergeant Moked, allow me

to introduce your wife, my future daughter,

Shifra Hason-Moked.

You are a soldier?

But... excuse me, I think there is a mistake here.

Why, you are not a soldier? -Yes, but, I mean...

I thought more in the direction of Yaeli.

Yaeli! Why don't you think in the direction of the door

before I slap you in the direction of the cheek.

I wanted a soldier so much.

Don't cry, Don't cry.

There are many soldiers. We'll get you a soldier.

One call to Motta (Chief of Staff), all Zahal is here.

Why are you worried? You don't know me?

Yaeli? Yaeli?

Have a good time, Eric. -Yes.

Jaqueline, take good care of him.

He is a friend of mine. He's cute.

High ranked officer in the UN. Rich. Let's play.

Five thousand.

Ten thousand. -Full.

Let's see, sweetie.

Full ace. -Wait a minute, that not good.

One, two, three, four. Carre takes it all. Let's go home.

Sit, continue to play.

Wait a minute, we said that with a seven carre,

the player has the right to finish the game. Who said?

According to the Las Vegas Convention. -What?

You stay here and continue to play. Take the money.

Al right.

Zuzi, bring two Blue Martini's, on the rocks.

Chicho!

Two. -Yes, two.

Sergio! The police!

Let's hurry, go out through the red curtain!

Those are the guys from Vice, the hit hard.

Police! Business permit! -What do you want?

What did I do?

You have a gambling club here.

No, the guys come to drink here!

Gambling!

It's alright.

Good boys. Good work!

You deserve something, like we agreed.

This is for you and this is for you. Good bye. -See you.

Hi, sweetie, this is Sergio Constanza.

How are you? -How am I?

Where is the money, Canttata?!

I have the good luck of having the money in my hand.

I'n going to see you, Concert,

and if you are not there, I'll get you,

I'll eviscerate you and hang you from your guts!

It's alright, sweetie, I'm there even if they put there

in there, I'm here. See you.

Hi, boys.

Long time no see, ah? Do you want a drink?

Who was it? -One son of a...

Sold me two dunam in front of Herzelia Pituah.

He made a fool of me.

What's so bad about 2 dunam in front of Herzelia Pituah?

Very bad. He sold them to me on the side of the sea.

I cruised a whole day in a glass bottom boat looking.

You can build a condominium for newlywed fish there.

Fish... Better get me the threat suit.

Let me go, you are strangling me.

Let me go!

And the rest! -The rest?

Here is the rest.

Is there someone here by the name of Constanza?

Yes, I'm Constanza.

That's a Reserve Duty order,

you're going to Sinai.

Zahal is alright. Zahal calls, Sergio goes.

Come here.

Soldier, ah? How much did he pay you for this charade?

What do you mean? Get your hands of Zahal property.

Get out of here.

Ok, don't move. Don't move.

Mr. Constanza, get on the jeep, I'll cover you.

Don't move!

Do you know him? He is the father of my girlfriend.

He is also the father of my debt. Go, go.

Sergio?

Where is he? -Fled to the Reserves.

Which army will agree to take him?

This is his order. Read it.

There is no army in the world that would stop me

from parcelling the face of this concertina!

Yes. -Good morning. -Where to? -338.

Are you a civilian? -Reserve.

The suitcases? -The suitcases are mine.

Good thing you didn't bring the sofas.

Listen, I'll tell you a story,

in World War Two I fought with the partisans,

1 didn't have long underwear... -Go, go!

Gingi, I forgot the slippers at home. -Really.

Go already!

Gingi! What about my leave?

You got another two hours on the observation post!

Hilik! This is Sergio and the other way around.

Get the suitcases, find him a bed and working clothes,

I'll be right back. Hurry up!

Hurry!

Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, Hilik.

Tell me, Hilik, whose land is this? -The army.

The army? Way to go, Zahal. Where are the rooms?

Way to go.

This is my room?

So? Plenty of ventilation, water flows freely.

Nice!

This is for you, Hilik. -Forget it. -Here.

Forget it. -Hilik, buy yourself a Kit-Kat.

You don't have something a bit more elegant?

We plan to use disposable clothes in the future.

Way to go.

Now, put on uniform and report to me for a rifle.

Hilik, come here! What kind of watch do you have?

Doxa. -Doxa! Did you hear about Fuji? -No.

It's high time you did.

I know about these things.

This is also an alarm clock, do you see? Here.

200 Pounds. 36 Stones. -Enough! Go fight a windmill

you gave me a headache.

Where did I arrive?

Are there any girls here? Hell.

What's going on? Where am I? Must be full of snakes.

Forgive me for asking, I don't remember I took you.

Where is Gingi?

What do you need him for, maybe I get in with you

and we do a Tours de France. -Sergio!

Sergio, come on, the commander wants to see you.

Tell him I'm busy. -Come on already...

You have a wig? -No, this is my own hair.

The wig there. -Where? That's... a story,

I'll tell you.

When I served with the partisans,

we used to perform in front of the soldiers in the army.

So I thought that I could do eh

something here for the guys.

Yaeli!

Yaeli, what are you doing here?

I won't leave you until my father lets us marry.

No, no, Yaeli, you can't stay here.

Yaeli, this is against orders.

Stop. -This is an army base, that's enemy territory.

There are snakes, scorpions and all sorts of maniacs,

you can't stay here. -I don't care!

Yaeli, please, stop crying!

Wait a minute, please.

Gingi, don't yell, sit down.

I have an idea.

To Sergio you turned, you made no mistake.

What's your name, sweetheart? -Yaeli.

Yaeli, nice to meet you.

You know the perfume Fuji? -No.

I had some in the suitcase. Never mind.

What is the idea... Do you know how to juggle? -No.

No? -No. -Striptease?

What do want? -Hang on a minute, I've an idea.

Can you sing? -No. -A little.

She can, why do say no?

All girls can sing.

Why do I say this? -Why?

You heard about the singer Zizi Triffo? -No.

Well, who made her? -You.

You guessed right. Why do I say this? -Yes?

I'll teach Yaeli a song

from the repertoire of Zizi Triffo.

Now, you go to the commander, you say,

Hello, commander. I'm glad to inform you,

that a singer arrived from Tel Aviv and she...

Out of the question.

Why not?

Impossible.

Yaeli, you are going home!

I won't go...

Stop crying. You know what?

You know what? Affirmative.

No? Why not? -l said, affirmative, alright.

Alright, say affirmative.

Sweetie!

Where to? -338. They told me it's somewhere near here.

You are Constanza? -You are Constanza.

Get out, the entrance to civilians is forbidden.

Get me Talik on the phone,

tell him that Victor Hason wants to go in.

Which Talik? -Colonel Talik Brodik (Basketball player).

Really?!

I'll talk to Talik, he'll promote you, gate keeper.

Go away.

You'll be a house keeper. -Get out of here!

Nobody shuts at Victor Hason.

I'll show you, you s.o.b.!

You'll see what I'll tell in headquarters!

Wait!

Great! There you go, doll. There you go, great.

She is nice. -Maniacs!

This unit is full of maniacs. -Shamgar. -Yes.

This is Sergio Constanza.

Nice to meet you, Sergio Constanza. -Salute!

Nice to meet you, sir.

Where were you 15 years?

You know how it is, sir. In the French Riviera, Europe,

you wake up, have dinner with Jaqueline.

Go to the pool, have a drink with Eveline,

go to your room, open the door,

Susan in a provoking pose.

Mr. Constanza? -Yes, sir? -Are you laughing at me?

Jaqueline, Eveline.

What do you think lam? Rummy?

I pass, sir.

This is the army, don't mess around.

Gingi, tell this joker what to do.

Yes, these...

No, these are confiscated.

Keep the change, sir.

Yes, Gingi,

where do we go now?

Sergio, as you see,

we are here at point 702, 707.

North of here is the sea, known as Mediterranean.

East of here is Israel, known as the State.

Israel, I know.

And to the West, the egyptians.

Where are the egyptians?

In an Early warning station

three km from here.

Our job is to protect, to observe,

to keep...

Never mind, Gingi, that is secret. You are a radioman?

What? I'm an impresario, Morse. -Morse!

I serve with the partisans, with Tito.

Tito in Headquarters? -No, in Yugoslavia.

He took a vacation, the s.o.b. -Never mind,

take him to the radio hut,

show him what he has to know,

what he doesn't.

and get on with it

and get out of here.

Come with me.

Gingi, tell him about the singer.

Shamgar, remember we asked for entertainment? -Yes.

So, the entertainment command sent us a singer.

Singer? Tell her to report immediately to me.

That it, she doesn't want to be bothered

until the end of the show. Her request is fine.

But ask your maniacs to leave her alone, Ok?

Affirmative. -No? -Affirmative.

Alright, good for you, sir.

It's alright, go to the radio hut.

After me.

After him! See you, sir.

Here, honey. I'll repair you in a moment.

It's alright. Have a good time and get on with it.

Sir, can we start?

Sergio, get on with it.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Bon soir, good morning.

I'll open with a series of international jokes.

Paris. Hershale came one day to the doctor, and said:

Doctor, my stomach is full of gas.

He answers, you came just in time,

fill the soda-maker!

Well... After we had some laughs,

we get to the artistic part.

Permit me as an impresario in civil life,

I was glad to meet in army life,

a singer from the first class, row 23,

folk singer, state dancer,

and acrobat of the Occupied Territories!

Are you ready?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Raging Sylvia!

Why did you deceive me,

The laundry doesn't help.

They tell in Uganda,

That I'm just a floozie.

I finished the detergent

and the soap is gone too,

But the stain in my heart is never gone!

I finished the detergent and the soap is gone too,

But the stain in my heart is never gone!

Are you taking me to the shower?

Now the hat. Yes, like that.

Wash my hair

I finished the detergent and the soap is gone too,

But the stain in my heart is never gone!

I finished the detergent and the soap is gone too,

But the stain in my heart is never gone!

I finished the detergent and the soap is gone too...

Sergio!

Mr. Hason is coming as a tractor!

Tell Yaeli that her father is coming here, hurry!

Sweetie, let's do something else.

What's going on?

Where are you going?

We want Sylvia! We want Sylvia!

Give me music for some magic, please.

There you are, gentlemen. The colors change as you can see.

And now, gentlemen, we are going to have a sing-along.

I want everybody to sing for the good of the morale.

Sergio! Sergio!

Victor, don't be crazy, get me down!

Victor, get this thing down!

What about the debt? -What debt? The money?

Of course, the money.

It will be alright,

in 24 hours it will be in your pocket.

24 Seconds, and even that is too much.

Hey, you. Yes, friend?

Come here. -You come here.

Listen, you. -Yes.

If you don't come here, I'll count to three

and you'll get a nasty surprise.

I like surprises.

One.

You started without telling.

Two.

You continue without telling.

Action. -What... Who gave the order?

What are you doing? Come here...

I'll get you in an inquiry commission!

You're in deep, Victor! -You...

Let me go!

I'm warning you, believe me.

Gingi, call the Division and tell them we caught a fish.

Sir, what about my leave? -Not now, Jahnun,

get the shower down... the... you know what I mean.

And return the vehicle to HQ and see if...

Ask there if someone lost a tractor.

And tell everyone that everything is Ok.

Hey, Victor! You're in deep shit! Good bye, Victor!

Deshe, this is Halfon, do you copy?

Gingi, what is going on out there?

Deshe, this is Halfon.

What are you doing to my father?

Do you hear me? Over.

Answer me when I'm talking to you.

What is this suppose to mean?

All this bule-bule?

Raging Sylvia! -What do you want, Sergio gave it to me.

Sergio, he will pay for this.

This is Deshe, over.

We caught a fish and wheels in the net, over.

The commander is on his way over there, over.

Gingi, they will send him to jail.

Your father is a certified loony.

Because of him, I will loose the sergeant major.

If you don't cut him loose, he will spoil everything.

How do want me to cut him loose, what do want from me?

Talk to your commander.

No, he won't accept this.

Leave this to me. -What do you mean?

I will take care of him. -What do you mean?

Put something on.

Gingi, did you notify HQ?

Yes, the commander is in a meeting

and will be here at one.

Alright, you are dismissed.

I said, dismissed.

So what, Sylvie? You dance? Sing, entertain?

Gingi, dismissed.

Say, aren't you hot? -Very hot. It's very hot here.

You probably aren't hot with this outfit. Good fabric.

Why the israelis are always in a hurry?

I'm not in a hurry.

I also know how to be late when that's needed.

In Africa it's different. The negroes are big.

Yes, they know how to do it.

How do they do it, Sylvia?

They dance.

They have a long spear in their hand.

I know these dances,

I learned to dance with Sami.

African dances?

Hold the spear in your hand, really tight.

This is a song.

They say, Bule-Bule, where are you?

Bule-Bule, where are you?

No matter, Sergio.

The hand is opened and the book is writing.

The wedding officer. Sergeant Moked.

Mr. Hason, put on this uniform.

What will I do with a uniform?

Mr. Hason, please. The brigade commander will come

and court-martial you in a hurry and in absence

as a civilian in suspicious circumstances...

Please, take this uniform, it's your size.

How do you know my size?

The size of your big heart is known everywhere.

Take this.

Shulka, come quickly, help me get him out of here.

Give me a hand. Sergio, give me a hand.

No, I have to go, I have an appointment with HQ.

I have an appointment.

Mr. Hason, stop it.

He is completely crazy. -Soldier, move.

Soldier! Leave me alone! Let me go!

Mr. Hason, please.

Until this garbage does not put 20,000 cash on my hand,

I'm not moving.

Look, Victor, there is no problem with the money,

but I don't have the cash right now.

You ignorant!

The Brigade commander is here! Mr. Hason,

do me a favor, put on the uniform

and go to the observation post.

Thank you very much, Mr. Hason.

I eat twenty like him for breakfast.

Forget it, Victor, we are joking.

Bule-Bule! Where are you?

Bule? Where are you? Bule?

My sweet.

Captain Shamgar, do you remember me?

I'm your brigade commander, Bondie.

This is not what you think. -No need to apologize,

I understand. The heat, the desert, the stress, the war.

Come with me.

Bondie, let me explain. -Yes, yes.

Bule-Bule came here. -Yes, Bule-Bule, I know.

She came here and taught me to dance African dances.

She danced like the africans.

Gingi, tell him it's Bule-Bule.

Do you want a sandwich, sir?

Get out.

Sir, I think this is an acute case of schizo-babe.

I think we'll leave this to the doctors.

In the meantime, gather the men. -Yes.

Shuka! Shuka!

Nice balloons! When are you going into town (also: blond)?

If I stay some more in the sun, I will be more blond.

Nice, Waserman.

Hilik, Waserman!

Are you going? -Yes. -See you.

Are you going to stay here? - don't know,

Maybe I'll go back with the commander, I don't know.

Can you get me an interview with the commander?

I have to talk to him.

What's the problem? 4 need to speak to him.

Wait, don't go,

what's your problem?

I've been here three weeks without leave

and Waserman got 24 hours and Hilik got 36 hours.

I understand. You are very nervous, relax.

No problem, I'll get you an appointment.

Can you?

I can arrange an interview.

That's what I wanted, I want to talk to him,

there are many problems here,

Yosifun in the kitchen... -It will be alright, Hilik.

My name is Jahnun. -Jahnun.

You know that you are good looking, Jahnun? -Me?

Attention!

Attention, Shuka!

I won't talk about what happened to your commander.

So don't talk.

I'm sure that we all wish him a speedy recovery.

In the meantime, we have to go on.

Moked. -Yes, sir.

You will be the commander until we send an officer.

No problem.

There is a problem.

I've been looking for the water tank for an hour.

Mr. Hason, I asked you to go to the observation post.

I went there, I looked through the binoculars,

I didn't see anything, so I went to the toilet.

Who is that? -Private Hason, sir. -Hi, there.

Private Hason? -Yes, what's up?

What's your job in the unit?

I'm under the recommendation for sergeant.

Sergeant, sir. -No, you are the sir, I'm recommended.

Alright. What do you do as a sergeant? -Give an example.

What do you do if the egyptians come here?

What we did in '56.

What did you do in '56? -What we did in '48.

Nothing better than that. -And what did you do in '48?

That was before 30 years, who can remember.

Sir, I think we have a case of helplessness

and distress

and I suggest that you let him be, the others are Ok.

Yes? -Yes.

And who is this clown?

Sir, Sergio Constanza, the radioman.

Sergio Constanza, at your service, sir.

Salute, Sergio! -Yes, sir.

Don't believe him. -Shut up, Victor.

Tell me. -Yes, sir.

The egyptians are getting close to the post,

what message do you radio out?

Radio out? -About the fact they are getting close.

Who is? -The egyptians!

The egyptians? -Yes, the egyptians.

I don't understand why they would want to come here

in this heat. -Let's suppose they are coming.

Suppose! So let's suppose that I sent the message.

What do you think, sir? Cigarette, sir?

Don't take the cigarette.

Throw a grenade. Throw the grenade!

At whom?

Throw it! -Where to?

At the Egyptians.

The Egyptians? Long live Israel! Hurray, Zahal!

We will strengthen our brothers... (Partizan song)

Get up, jerk. This is how you throw a grenade. Look,

First, you take out the pin,

you use force and take the pin out,

now you take... How many seconds do you count?

Three seconds, hurry up!

In '48 they counted more. -Throw!

Where is everybody?

This mess cannot go on. -Yes, sir.

Do you hear, I've been here for three weeks,

Hilik got 24 hours, and Shuka got 36 hours

and I'm here...

Malmilian is strong, ah? -Malmilian? Great soccer player

I flew over the game in Beer-Sheva on Saturday,

what a great show.

Cancel all leaves. -Of course, sir.

Tomorrow, a night march.

Of course. -In a week, you'll get shooting practice.

Bondie, why are you doing this to me?

You've known me for years, I'm not like that.

Relax, Shamgar, nothing happened.

In a mess like this, any commander would get sick.

Where is Hermona? -She is updating facts,

she'll be back with the supply track.

Hilik, I won't let you forget this.

You'll pay dearly.

You and Waserman will begin by erecting the tent again.

Gingi, I swear, it wasn't me,

they did it, believe me. ~Jahnun.

I swear. -Jahnun,

First, you got 4 more hours at the observation post.

Now.

Saturday leave, the tri-monthly and the yearly.

But, Gingi... -Go!

Gingi, I want to talk to you about something.

Listen, this whole thing was their idea, they did this.

Get out of my sight! -I didn't do anything. -Go!

I want to... -Go!

Victor, don't be crazy! -Sergio,

I wasn't joking. -Mr. Hason, please.

Mr. Hason, I beg you, go home. -Yes, go home.

The request is denied until the debt is returned.

He'll return it. -I swear on my life, Victor.

When are you going to pay him? -In 24 hours.

In 24 hours he'll pay up the debt.

Now, go to Yosifun and tell him you're on kitchen duty.

Yes! -Kitchen duty? -Kitchen.

Are you Yosifun? -That's me.

I'm on kitchen duty. -As what?

As an expert on Shakshuka.

You are responsible for the tomato as HESOF.

What's a HESOF? -Head Salad Officer.

I was a HESOF when you were still YOMOW, sweetie.

What's IYOMOW?

In Your Mother's Womb.

Now I'm HEKOF-ALURA.

What's that? -That's Head Kitchen Officer...

Who gives orders to Yosifun

and comes only to taste. So? -So.

What can I tell you. -It's written in the orders.

Yes? -Something new? -Yes, brand new.

And you always follow orders, ah?

The one that wrote the order is standing right here.

If you wrote the order, I refuse to comply.

Quickly, the oil. -By all means.

What a mess!

What a mess, you are going home now.

I won't go home.

You won't go, your father won't do,

so who will go, Jahnun?!

Gingi, really, relax.

What will you do in your honeymoon if you fight now?

Honeymoon? Vinegarmoon! Her father won't give us

his consent until his older daughter gets married.

Very nice. With all due respect, Mr. Gingi,

I think that is a reasonable consideration on his part.

On his part, maybe, but she's unmarriageable.

There is no such thing! Nobody is unmarriageable.

Every cork has a bottle, every bucket has a mop.

Yes, every bucket has a mop.

Tell me, from what does your sister suffer?

She's not ill. -How does she look? How's her face?

Disaster Day. -And the breasts?

Market Day. -And the legs? -Halloween.

So the the bride is very festive,

what she needs now is a happy groom, right?

She is very nice. And whoever marries her,

will receive the money that father put in the mattress.

That's interesting. Listen, sweetie,

I have here a small company

for young couples.

Double-Couple Ltd.

Sergio you asked, mistaken alone, you won't be.

What I need now is this. First, leave.

Forget it. -I forgot. Second, you go to the telephone,

telephone your sister and say,

hello dear sister, this is Yaeli,

come quickly, we have a surprise.

There aren't any surprises. -Why not?

This isn't a match making agency, it's the army.

Gingi.

You can't telephone and do whatever you want.

But this is our last chance.

I don't want any chances, this won't do any good,

I beg you, I ask you, please, stop it.

Wait a minute, what's your sister's name? -Stop.

Shifra. -Shifra! -Shifra, yes. Shifra the best.

Lunch, first call!

Come on!

Please, start with table number one.

For first course we have chicken curried soup,

or a tomato stuffed with liver and onions.

I want the tomato with the curry, liver and onions.

Jahnun, don't you see he is pulling your leg?

Yosifun, two first courses to table number one.

Permit me to recommend the main course.

We have osso-bucho with rice and curry.

There you go, hon appetit.

Say, Jahnun, are you sure we are in the army?

Can't you see?

Come on, guys, sit in table number two.

Good work, Mr. Hason. You are OK.

Come, Waserman. -Can we have some bread?

Yes, give them bread. Bon appetit.

Very good work!

Will you leave' please? -What do you mean?

Without a jacket, a tie and the debt, you have to leave.

What are you talking about, I'n in the army, yes?

You are in the Victoria Regional Council. Please.

I don't want to leave...

I'm in the army, I want to eat!

Sergio! -Victor! -Yosifun! -Yosifun! Go to hell.

How is the food? Bon appetit.

Your face looks like my behind.

You'll pay me.

I win con you good.

This evening, come a little earlier.

There is an excellent cold plate. -Thank you.

Bon appetit.

Sergio! What?

Come, I spoke to Mr. Hason, it's alright.

Do you think I need him? His food?

Come and sit down.

I'm not hungry at all.

Yosifun, bring Sergio's main course.

What's this? Are you laughing at me?

What's this book?

Every question has an answer, by Itzhak Levanon.

Every question has an answer? -Yes, by Itzhak Levanon.

-That's interesting. If you want, I'll test you.

Do you want to test me? -Yes. -Alright.

I'll ask you a question,

what's the capital of Argentina?

What page?

What do you care, page 22. -I haven't got to that page.

Ask me from page 20 down.

Who was the first president of Israel? Haim Weitzman.

He is completely crazy. The capital of Argentina

The capitol is... Buenos Aires.

Maybe I can win the lottery

and travel around the world. -You know something, Waserman?

I have an idea for you.

You want to travel around the world? -Yes.

Tomorrow, a girl will arrive here. -Yes.

She is beautiful, with long hair and breasts.

I don't know her. -I'll introduce you,

she will take you around the world and back,

and when you come back, you receive an apartment.

What do you say? -Affirmative. -No?

He is crazy. What do you think you are?

Look at you, I told you

I'll get a pretty girl for you!

But he said, affirmative.

Alright, so say affirmative. -Affirmative.

What's that? -Mig's. Photographing.

Photo flight?

I won't let them photograph me in working clothes.

If there's a war now, I loose the business.

What business? -Nothing. -What nothing, Sergio.

1 got a permit to look for oil here.

What oil, Sergio?

There's probably just sand here. I got screwed up.

Where is it, Sergio?

Over there, 4 dunam, nothing. -Where is it, Sergio?!

I told you, there's nothing here.

Right and left, just sand and sewage.

Really, Sergio, there's no oil here, just sand.

Victor, what can I say,

I paid 25,000 pounds for this.

25,0007 That's crazy, I wouldn't invest one pound.

Let's go. -One thousand pounds for the place?

What do you need the sand for?

I have a friend in Switzerland,

he manufactures sand clocks,

I'll send him a gift.

You have free sand all around.

This sand is good for him,

awakening sand, exact sand.

I don't know.

20,000 Pounds, wipe out the debt?

Are you crazy?

What about the debt? You found money on trees?

Well, 1,500, can I have it?

If you want to pay 20,000, pay 20,000, what can I say.

You have a paper for the transfer of a dune?

Yes, I have the contract right here, wait a minute.

I'll read this.

Do you have a pen? -I also have a pen.

The family of the groom... -Where do we sign?

No, that party A.

Sergio, please. That's party A, that's B.

What party do you want? -Party A.

Then come here, stand here.

Get out before I break your bones.

Well, Victor, how are things with the swiss sand?

Swiss sand? You better start inquiring about stock

in Victor Oil Company Ltd. -Really.

Yes, you can read about it in the sunday paper.

I hope it will published in the Nostra (Rumanian News).

Nostra, really!

The oil flows in Victor's Field,

Like in Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Algeria.

Honey! What are you doing tonight?

I'm sorry, you are late, I've already got a date

with the commander, you know, the Bule-Bule.

See you, Victor.

Sergio? -Yes, dear, did you speak with your sister?

Yes, she'll come tomorrow. -Great, I'm glad.

Sergio? -Yes, dear? -I can't resist anymore.

I can't either, sweetie. -I have to go out.

Where do have to go, sweetie? -To the toilet.

To the toilet!

I can't go out! -Why? -Because my father is there!

Your father! That's true. Maybe you can wear my robe.

I remember from yesteryears when there was only sand...

And she climbed up the hill to install the pipes...

Hanna got suddenly mixed up...

Honey! Wash my back.

Hanna... got mixed up,

And found gas... oil...solar...

It has to be refined, maybe the profit is smaller,

But I have to refine it twice...

You have to wait for a short moment,

Then it flows up to the sky

the oil from the pipes.

I'll come and say good evening...

Yaeli!

Yaeli! Yaeli!

Yaeli! Yaeli! What are you doing?

What happened, Victor? -Sergio. -I saw Yaeli.

Who's Yaeli? -My little daughter. -Your daughter, here?

It can't be, right?

Victor, relax. Open your mouth, say Aahhh.

This explains everything. -What does it explain?

I studied medicine for three years

but I'm not certified. You are certified, Sergio, speak!

This is what is called in medicine,

you got hit by the sun. Sun stroke? -Exactly.

You... you heard about fata-morgana? -No.

It's like this, you see what you think you see,

but you don't see what you really think. You understand?

This happened before? -It happened many times.

What can be done, Sergio, tell me.

The best thing is a sand bath.

A bath in the sand?

Well, Victor, how do you feel? -Extraordinary, Sergio.

Much better. Now take this pill,

it will do a complete renovation of your head.

Sergio, maybe there is something else?

Sergio! What are you doing? That's quick sand,

he might disappear in there. Sergio! Sergio!

Victor, where are you going?

Mr. Hason! Can you hear me?

Victor, it was only a joke!

Mr. Hason! Can you hear me?

Make a sign if can hear me. -Hello is Ok?

At least you could put a sign, Quick Sand,

that's the minimum you can expect.

Victor, get back to the observation post.

Sergio! Get back to the observation post.

Hilik, prepare the watch detail for tonight,

the password today is Moses is happy.

I can't go on.

Let us put our heads on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here,

Let Zahal be honored.

So let us put our heads on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here,

Let Zahal be honored.

Wars abound here,

Problems are plentiful,

So between a missile and a rocket,

Let us relax a bit in the shade.

So, let us put our heads on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here,

Let Zahal be honored.

The pen rips the paper,

When I dream about you,

And a tear of longing

Shines in my eyes.

Let us put our heads on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here,

Let Zahal be honored.

Don't say, among the tanks,

Outside, among the canons,

That the guys are having a good time here,

You might wake up the neighbors.

So, let us, -Let us put our head on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here,

Let Zahal be honored.

So, let us put our head on a dune,

Let the muses shout,

Let us rest here, Let Zahal be honored.

What are the plans for today?

I thought maybe we could surprise the guys

with a yogurt, eggs over easy and a salad.

What's the main course?

Why don't we pamper the stomach with a good mullet?

The sea here is great. -But the guys are so lazy,

they only go to the gate, and not even that.

You are crazy.

Where to?

At home, I don't end the day

without at least two hours on the pier.

I'm going, I'll be back with the main course.

Be careful not to cross the border, it's right there.

This is 338? -Yes, this is 338.

You are Shifra! -Yes. I'm pleased to meet you.

Sergio Constanza. -Yes.

We've been waiting for you for a long time.

Do you see the tent there? -Yes.

Drive to that tent, Yaeli is waiting for you there.

Yes. -Alright? See you, sweetie. -See you.

It happens.

A good thing you don't have a license to drive a truck.

Shifra! You look great!

Yeah? A lot of hitchhikers asked what do I do tonight.

Did you shower? Did you comb your hair? -Yes.

What did you put on your hair?!

It's natural.

Stand behind me and shut up. Affirmative?

Yaeli, let's go. -Shifra, good luck.

Where is she? Hello, Shifra.

Permit me, in my name and that of my friends,

to award you the prize for careful driving.

After we laughed, let's move on to the serious part.

Shifra, sweetie, permit me to introduce you to a nice guy,

from a good family, very festive.

His father was one of the water founding fathers,

really a good guy. Very good looking.

So why didn't you bring him?

Who, Waserman?

Waserman! There he is. Introduce yourselves.

Nice to meet you. -ldiot.

Give me your hand. Well, young couple,

you have 10 minutes and 20 questions after the bip.

Bip! Good luck, Waserman. Go for it.

Waserman!

Well, it goes well, ah? Stupid!

What did I do? -What did you do? Nothing!

You sit there in silence like a fish.

Why did I say fish, a fish is a musical next to you!

What did you want me to do?

What do I want?

You show her your teeth. Are you a gynecologist?

You played with your teeth, Waserman?

Shut up, Gingi! Let me work. Look carefully. I'll go in

and you'll see the system in 2 installments.

Then I go out, you go in and pay the first installment.

Remember, Sergio you ask, a girl for life you...

Sergio you ask, a girl for life you...

Move already!

Shifra, sweetie!

Give me your hand. -Why?

Give me your hand, don't ask questions. Give me your hand!

Feel how my heart dances foxtrot for you. -Why?

Just because, Shifra, sweetie.

Shifra!

Your mountains are like the storms that flows from the...

Danube. And your eyes are like... -What a nudge!

And your cheeks are like...

Sergio. -What, sweetie?

Sergio, it's me. -Who is it? -Me.

What do you want? -It's alright.

What's alright? -I got the system. -What system?

The system for quick conquests.

What are you talking about?

Give me your hand.

Right in the aching tooth.

Get out, maniac! Go bite Gingi!

Well, Waserman?

No, she gives me a toothache. -Really?

Gingi! Come quick! Hurry up!

What happened? -Look!

Do you see what I see? -He crossed the border.

I've been looking for the sea for an entire hour.

They haven't learnt to put up a little sign, Sea.

Take me to the beach, please.

Thank you very much.

Golani unit? -Gammasi (Egyptian Chief of Staff).

Gingi, what happened? -Never mind.

Sergio!

What is it, Gingi? -Come here. -Where?

Come here! -Can't you see I'm busy?

Sergio, come on, we are in trouble! -What happened?

Ciao, bambina! -Ciao.

Listen, Mr. Hason...

Forget the first installment. -Get out!

Mr. Hason crossed the border and was taken prisoner.

Really. -We have to free him, Sergio.

That's very bad, when is he coming back?

When is he coming back? If at all, in the year 2000.

Wait, why don't you speak with your commander? -Who?

That one, what's his name... -The officer?! -Yes.

Forget it, if he frees him, he will jail me

for recruiting a civilian in vane.

Wait a minute. -What do we do, Sergio?

Did you hear about the UN? -Yeah.

Why don't you speak with what's his name, the swede?

Who? -The blond, the belgian!

Who? -The one from Denmark, Silaswoe. Waldheim!

Silaswoe. -Operation Waldheim!

What happened to Nasser?

That's Saadat.

| know, I just wanted to see if I know.

Leave it!

Nobody. I just went to get a few mullets

for lunch. -Mullets?

Grey mullets. -Grey mullets? -Enough!

no mullets, just say it. -The Israeli intelligence sent you

What's their job? -They are listening.

Where are they? -In area code busy.

Not bad!

What do you want to drink? Coffee? Tea? -Coffee.

Attalah, two coffees.

What are you doing, are you crazy?!

What are you?

That the way to make coffee?!

Attalah, bring the stove.

Jahnun, let's go over everything.

UN jeep? -Yes. Grades? -Yes.

Point seven? -Yes. Swede girl? -Yo.

There's no more color, I dipped in plaster.

Really, how can I wear this?

It's Ok, it's an armored shirt. -That's it.

Hilik, you are insane.

Gingi, maybe you can leave me here,

I think I'm not feeling very well.

I think that you feel very well.

Yes, dear, why don't we go already.

Yosifun! Do something!

Slowly, slowly!

Ciao, sweetie. Write!

Just don't send the letters via the army,

they steal the stamps.

Go!

Victor, I don't remember such a good coffee

since they closed the Mansour Restaurant.

They closed the Mansour Restaurant? -Mansour died.

Died? -Wait, how do you know Mansour?

Mansour? Mansour and I had a ball in Alexandria

when you were still YOMOW! Where do you live?

Al-Safah street. Al-Safah?! An officer like you there?

Why don't you get a mortgage and move a bit north?

Who am I, Rothchild?

Rothchild... If you were Rothchild....

Stop! Check point!

Do have documents?

Gingi, whack him.

UN. -Yes.

Everything is expensive.

Now, we to have VAT.

I'm Colonel Hammershlag. And this is Major...

Bergman. -Bergman.

The israeli soldiers send us to change the israeli...

soldier and the egyptian soldier. Change.

How did Muhamad arrive to the israelis?

Bergman? -Yes. -Report the B.S. of the guards.

Mr. Hason, we came to free you. Did you have lunch?

Yes, we had. -Yosifun prepared something?

Thank you very much.

You see, at 9 o'clock A.M arrived this soldier to

Israel and asked for a 4 room apartment in Kiriat Malachi.

They offered him 3 rooms in Rishon LeZion.

Yes. And the soldier got nervous. And start shooting.

So the israelis took him to UN post. -Post? -Yes.

Mr. Bergman. -Yes, sir. Come here, please.

Thank you.

Hands up. -Hands up, yes.

No fire!

Silaswoe, good friend. -I know.

Made in swedish. -Maybe you want a watch, Fuji.

35 Stones, very good.

Let's see. Soldier, come.

Erik! -Sergio, how are you? -Fine, fine.

Tell this officer that we're soldiers. -Their my soldiers.

Yes? -Of course. Hamid!

I'm sorry.

We must go because the israeli wait for us.

Thank you very much. -See you.

Erik, see you in my club. You know, Jaqueline.

Give my regards to Sana, and come visit for the holidays.

And don't forget. Coffee, a minute before it boils,

take it of the stove.

Good bye, Victor.

The Jews are running away!

Gingi is coming this way, goes left, changes gear,

changes gear again, this a special fare,

and with a great push, they are here,

they have arrived!

Sergio. -What happened? -Let go! -What happened?

Let me be! Let go! -What do you want?

You sold me an empty dune!

Let go of Shifra!

You have to thank me that I saved you from the arabs.

Bule-Bule, where are you?

My field! -Mine.

Shifra, we are rich!

If the oil flows suddenly, miracle of miracles,

Open a big account in the bank and retire.

If everything ends up alright

Take off your hat, and thank the Reserves.

Zahal, Zahal we are coming, we run to the Reserves,

If someone call us from the bank or the IRS,

We answer in our code,

Halfon Hill doesn't answer.

Oil, Oil!

Sergio, help sell it.

Five o'clock in the morning, even the birds are sleeping.

Why don't we accept the offer from Rabinowitz?

Sergio, believe me, alone, without partners.

Can after can after can. -We'll end up in the can.

Shut up and yell, alright?

To Sergio you go, oil you got.

Every octane is better than the other.

Every octane is great, the oil is cheap.

Subtitles: Elrom Studios