Original subtitles

♪ ♪

TINA: Hey.

Mm. Hey. Mm. Hey?

Uh, Tina, do you have a fly in your hair?

And are you high-fiving it?

No, I was trying to figure out a more mature look.

I mean, you smell mature.

Tammy's having a post-Thanksgiving

bonfire beach party on Saturday,

and rumor has it that her older cousin is coming

and she's bringing boys from her high school.

Whoa, real-life high school teens? In the wild?

- With their iPods and goatees? - Yes.

And that's why I have to look extra mature.

Which I hope this is. Or this?

You should wear a business suit

and tell everyone you're on a conference call.

Do Mom and Dad know about this mature older teen people party?

Well, I'm kind of waiting for the perfect moment

to ask them permission. I tried when Mom was asleep,

but I'm not sure it really counted as asking.

That's how Dad proposed. I assume.

Lot of Thanksgiving food in here, Bob.

We're just one family, right? (short chuckle) God.

It's exactly the right amount, Lin.

Are you worried about the meal being too amazing?

I just can't find the milk.

Do you think the turkey drank it?

If it did, that's fine. It's allowed to do

- whatever it wants in there. - Oh!

Found it. I don't know how we're getting it back in there,

so we got to finish this. Oh, look,

that coupon for the mini-golf place expires today.

We meant to take the kids all summer and never did.

Oh, well. It's into the trash for you, little coupon thingy.

- Zoom. Poop. - Mother. Father.

Thanksgiving, huh? Did I RSVP yet?

I mean, we were hoping you could make it.

Speaking of RSVP'ing, there's something coming up this weekend

- that I would like to ask... - Wait, what's happening here?

- Um... um... - Don't throw that out. That's a 50% off

Mystery Planet World mini-golf coupon.

That's the most valuable thing we own.

I know, hon, but it expires today. Sorry.

We'll do something fun one day, I promise.

But giant centipedes? This tentacle thing?

Rudy says this dancing yeti is amazing. We have to go.

What if we went right now?

Nothing big's happening today.

I know you're kidding. You're kidding, right?

Think about it. Going on Thanksgiving means

not many people will be there.

Yeah, because it's cold outside

and people are at home doing a much better thing.

Dad. We could potentially have

an entire mini-golf course to ourselves,

like it's ours,

like we're a bunch of mini madcap millionaires

running around at our private mini-golf estate.

I think that was an episode of Succession.

I mean, we could go for a little bit and then come back

and you'd still have plenty of time to stick the turkey

in the oven when we got home.

I don't just stick the turkey in the oven, Lin.

- Yeah. First you kiss it all over. - Gene.

Wait, they have a snack bar?

With taquitos? Get me in there!

No. No taquitos. If you ate taquitos,

- you wouldn't have any room for dinner. - I will make room.

Tina, what do you say-- Thanksgiving mini-golf?

Uh, I mean, only if Mom and Dad want to.

I just respect them both so much.

Well, it could be a sort of fun Thanksgiving family thing to do.

Ooh, I could sneak wine in a thermos.

No, no. I won't do that. Maybe. I don't know.

- Please? - Please?

Fine, as long as we go for, like, 20 minutes,

and then come right back home so I can cook.

Between 20 and 95 minutes.

- Okay, yeah. - Yay! - Yay!

Let me just say goodbye to the turkey.

LOUISE: Yes! Look how empty the parking lot is.

That's a good sign, right?

BOB: Yeah, like, maybe it's closed?

- LOUISE: Dad. No. - BOB: Sorry.

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

I'm not gonna run, but trust me, I am very excited.

(gasps)

This is my new home.

Oh, people. Welcome.

- Hi. - Every year I stay open, thinking

mini-golf on Thanksgiving will become a thing,

like going to the movies on Christmas

or bowling on Mother's Day. And then I wait and wait,

and just as I'm about to give up, someone comes.

And it's us. Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, great, the one family that comes today has a coupon.

That's great.

Yeah, sorry. Coupon.

Excuse me, I'm wondering where the snack bar is located.

And are your taquitos locally sourced?

- Gene. - Here's your putters, golf balls,

scorecard, and your little pencils.

And remember, here at Planet Mystery World,

your balls won't know what hit 'em.

- Love it. - Okay.

All right, yeti, time to eat some spaghetti.

Your little dancing legs aren't gonna stop me twice.

Wait, this is your third putt though, right?

Shush, shush, shush. (grunts)

Yes! There it is.

YETI: Mini-golf, yum!

Now your ball can be friends with all our balls

that have been on that side, waiting patiently.

I still don't understand why the yeti

says, "Mini-golf, yum." He's not eating the balls.

They're basically going between his legs.

Because he's the full package, Dad.

When you putt through there, his legs go superfast.

When you putt through there, that gets his arms going.

And when you putt through there, his head spins.

And no matter what hole you get it through,

he says, "Mini-golf, yum" because he's a gentleman.

Geez, wouldn't it be great to see him do all that stuff

at the same time? I know we're all

- thinking that. - BOB: Mm-hmm.

Okay, yeti hole done. On to the next one.

Wait, Lin, you-you didn't tell me what you got.

- Probably same as you. - Well, I got two.

Yeah, so did I. Plus two. So, four.

I-I don't think you did, but fine.

No, I did. Oh, look at the next hole.

Ooh, army guys being attacked by giant ants. Political.

- Come on. Here we go. - Wait, wait, people.

Seems like we're kind of at the best hole already.

What if we just stayed here and kept the yeti party going?

But what about the rest of the course?

Come on, Mom. This is the kind of thing you can do

when there's no one else here.

I mean, we can do whatever we want.

When else do we get to experience this type of freedom?

Naked Thursdays?

I keep telling you we're not doing those.

You're not doing those.

Anyway, Tina, Gene and I will catch up to you guys.

Go warm up those crazy mystery monsters for us.

As long as we're home when we said we'd be home, I'm good.

All right, fine. But be safe.

Don't hit each other with your putters.

You know that's why my Great Uncle Joe

can't count to more than 15.

Was a putter. In the head. And quitting school.

Okay, see you soon. Family!

- (exclaims) - Sounds good. Love you.

Okay, here's what I'm thinking, guys.

What if we try to get our three balls

into the three tunnels at the exact same time?

yeti gets sweaty because now he's got to do

head-spin, arm flap, and his little dance all at once.

Think about it. This is like the next stage of his evolution.

It'd be criminal not to help this yeti

- reach its full potential. - I'm in.

It sounds like important work and a little less walking.

Um, I think I'm gonna just play

the actual game with Mom and Dad.

Ha! You're kidding, right?

Look, you can do whatever it is you want to do here,

but I need to stay clean.

Stay clean?

Yes. I want to get permission to go to

Tammy's possible high school boys bonfire party.

You want to do that more than do this cool fun thing

I just made up with the yeti?

I mean, is it going to be that fun?

- (gasps) - Oh, my goodness.

Okay, Tina, I think you're having, like,

a "boring" flare-up right now or something.

Or maybe I'm just having a maturity flare-up.

And you're having a maturity... flare-down.

- Excuse me? -'Cause you're immature.

Oh, really? Then maybe it's better

if we just don't play together.

Yeah. Maybe it is.

Okay, well, enjoy your dumb game

of regular mini-golf, I guess.

Have fun being immature and messing something up, probably.

- We will! - Perfect.

Oof, that was intense. Taquito break?

Tina calling me immature. I'm not immature.

She's the immature dumb-dummy-boob-head.

Yeah, what about wanting to see a yeti

do a funny dance is immature?

We're basically scientists.

(grunts) Little ball, why must you mock me?

Ugh, we wouldn't have needed to find a third ball

if a certain sister wasn't messing everything up.

(grunts) Got it.

You know, I bet once Tina sees how much fun we're having,

she'll come crawling back.

I'm already having fun. Although this ground has

a distinct vomit smell that I don't love.

Oh, yeah. All right, let's go.

So, Tina, you didn't want to hang back

with Gene and Louise and the Bigfoot?

Yeah, I guess I'm just a little too mature

for that kind of kid stuff. And, totally hypothetical,

- Yes. Yes... - what's your stance on bonfire beach parties with...

- Yes! Hole in one! - Oh.

I got a hole in one! Ha-ha!

- Um... - Wow, Lin. Good job.

Still behind, but, you know, it helps your score.

A little. Not really.

Hey, I get to ring this bell.

MANAGER (on P. A.): Ha-ho! That's a hole in one!

Unless you cheated or you just ring any old bell you see.

- I can't tell from here. - Ha-ha!

Okay, I'm gonna go hit another hole in one.

Um, Tina and I are still on this o...

Oh, you're walking away. That's fine. We'll catch up.

'Cause we're so much quicker than you. N-never mind.

- Damn it. - Seven. Lucky number seven.

You know, the ground here is weird. They need to fix that.

- Damn it. Stupid ground. - Eight. Eight is great.

I guess you're probably not looking to have anyone

ask you any questions about weekend plans right now.

Um, because you're busy being mad at the ground.

- Which makes sense. - What's that, honey?

You wanted to ask me something?

- Yeah, um... - Damn! (grunts)

- Oh. No. - Nine.

- You hush. - Is fine.

Okay, on three.

One, two, three!

- Ugh. - YETI: Mini-golf, yum!

These dang legs are driving me nuts.

'Cause they're gorgeous or 'cause they

- keep getting in the way? - Both.

If Tina wasn't being such a matur-a-nerd,

we'd have three people, one for each hole,

and we wouldn't be having this problem.

Should we give up? Shake the yeti's hand

and hope we can still all be friends?

No. Gene, get your ball.

Get in position, soldier. Get ready to geti this yeti.

♪ Grab your putter, grab your ball ♪

♪ Do it all at Planet Mystery World ♪

♪ Grab your putter, grab your ball ♪

♪ Do it all at Planet Mystery World ♪

♪ Putt, putt, putt, putt, putty, putt-putt, putt-putt ♪

♪ Putt, putt, putt, putt, putty, putt-putt ♪

♪ Putt, putt, putty, putty, putt-putt ♪

♪ Putt-putt, putt, putty, putt-putt. ♪

Okay, I think if I bank it off the side here,

hard but not too hard, I've got a shot at it.

I think that's the secret to this hole.

That's the secret to this one for sure, I bet.

Lin, I think maybe you're chasing the dragon a little bit.

You don't need to get another hole in one.

At this point, just be happy

to get the ball in the hole at all.

I do need to get another hole in one, Bob.

I've tasted it. I can't go back now. You don't know.

Tina, your mom's losing it. But we still love her.

Yeah. And we'd love for her to get another hole in one

so she could be happy and open to talking about stuff.

Like, I don't know, maybe cool bonfire stuff.

- Oh, come on. - Or not.

How did I do it before?

I feel like I had something pure about my swing.

- Now I'm all tight. - You do look a little stiff.

Did you see how when I did it I had this loose motion...

- J... Dut, dut, dut, dut. - Sorry.

That hole in one. It was effortless. So free.

Who was that Linda? I want to be that person again.

Don't beat yourself up, Lin.

We're beating you so badly already.

Tina, what were you saying?

That you wanted to go home

and watch me make Thanksgiving dinner?

Uh, no. I mean, yes, so much.

But, uh, yeah, I was just talking about

a gathering this weekend, with, um, high school boys.

- High school boys? - What?

High school boys? What? (laughs weakly)

No, I was saying, "Hi, school boys."

Um, oh, where'd they go? Uh, thought they were right there.

(chuckles weakly) I'm just gonna, uh, run to the bathroom.

I'll-I'll meet you guys at the next hole.

Damn it! Bob, let me try your putter.

- And your ball. Don't look at me. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Ugh! Is it too much to ask - YETI: Mini-golf, yum!

to get all three balls in at the same time

to see a yeti do a bunch of crazy stuff?

- Who said that-- Lincoln? - Hmm.

It'd be easier if we could get those legs to stop moving.

That's what they said about that Road Runner.

What if we stick a putter in there?

That could work, right?

They shouldn't have given us putters if they

didn't want us to stick them places.

Yeah. Now we won't need Tina at all.

So, if she just never wants to play with us again,

I guess that'd be... (scoffs) totally fine.

There's the Thanksgiving spirit.

I'll stick the putter in, we'll roll the balls,

and then I'll pull it out before it starts to dance.

And then our lives change forever

- and we never look back. - (grunts)

Okay, let's get into position.

Aye aye.

Ready? Roll!

- Mini-golf, yum! - Yes!

Oh, wait, crap-- the putter.

Yum... Yum!

- Yum. Yum, yum! - Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Gene, a little help? Gene, a little help!

Uh...

- (gasps) - Oh, no.

You can barely tell.

Okay, looking good. Dang it!

Why do they have to make these things

so darn easy to break

when you shove a metal object in them?

Oh, God. I don't want to go to mini-golf jail.

I bet the cells are diabolical little worlds unto themselves.

With Astroturf everywhere.

Oh, this day could not get any worse.

Whose idea was it to go mini-golfing

on Thanksgiving, anyway?

Wait, what if we sort of wedge it in here?

Aah! Yeti, why can't you hold yourself together?

- You're better than this. - Ugh. Well,

Tina will be thrilled. She said

we were gonna break something, and now she's right

and I hate when I'm not the one who's right.

Maybe we make a sign that says

"Out of order, but not because two great kids broke it."

Oh, crap, it's Tina. Quick,

make the legs look not broken.

Oh, hey, you.

- Hey. Just going to the bathroom. - Great. Great. Love it.

Don't make the same mistake I did and assume that outhouse

over there with a wolfman peeking out of it

is fully functional, because it is not.

(forced laugh)

How's your yeti game going?

Uh, amazing, actually. (chuckles)

Really, really fun. And amazing. And great.

- All of those things. - We're just taking a little break.

Because it's so fun. Actually, you know...

(scoffs) exhausting.

From the hooting and the hollering. Just got to recharge.

Wait, is something wrong with the legs?

You mean, why do they look perfect?

Aren't they supposed to be moving? Are they broken?

- Did you break them? - What? No.

Well, it looks like you're holding them up.

Holding them up is part of the game?

Oops. We lost.

I knew it. I knew you would break something

doing whatever it is you were doing over here.

Well, I'd rather have fun and be immature

and accidentally break something

than be a "too grown up to hang out

"with her super cool siblings

who invent life-changing games" person.

Okay. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see it

and go back to Mom and Dad.

Well, go to the bathroom first, obviously,

but then back to them. So, good luck with this.

Yeah, just go pee. Or poop. Whatever you're gonna do.

- It's pee. Number one. - We know what number pee is.

So, Mexico? You, me and the legs? On the run?

We try to stay one step ahead of the federales?

Maybe we end up learning a thing or two?

About life? About ourselves?

(sighs)

Come on. You got this, Linda.

Clear your mind.

Nothing in there at all.

- Bob, don't breathe. -'Kay.

Aah! You know what it is?

It's those aliens eating pizza. They're distracting me.

Really? They didn't distract me. I like them.

They're interested in our culture.

They're not interested in anyone but themselves.

Linda, I'm a little scared to talk to you right now,

but, um, we lost our kids.

And now we're just two middle-aged people

playing mini-golf on Thanksgiving.

One normal, and one... you.

So, how about we just call it, find the kids, and go?

And then I can cook dinner.

And we could possibly never do this again.

Bob, I need this. And I'm going to get

another hole in one and as soon as I do, we can go.

Also, we're not playing by ourselves.

Tina still likes us.

She's just in the bathroom.

Oh, crumb bums! This is your fault.

- I miss Tina. - And your fault, other alien.

So smug.

- Ugh, poor, dumb mini-golf goofs. - (both grunting)

Nope, nope. Going back to Mom and Dad.

Not gonna get involved in this.

I've got a teen party on the line.

Oh, crap. The manager. He's gonna see them.

Uh...

Oh, um, uh, excuse me, mister, uh, mini-manager.

That's my name, ha-ha. No, it's not. It-it's Michael.

- Uh, what can I do for you? - Uh, I'm... I was just

wondering, um, could you tell me

what's the story behind... that?

- And keep looking this way while you do it? - Oh, that?

I had it made for my wife

for our tenth wedding anniversary.

She didn't want it in the house, so I brought it out here.

Wow. That's really, really great and interesting.

Yeah, turns out her and I have very different ideas

about what makes a great gift, apparently.

- Uh-huh. - Oh, that reminds me.

I got to go wipe the bird poop off the mermaid sculpture.

I made a promise to her years ago and I'm keeping it.

The mermaid, not my wife. But my wife

and the mermaid are friends, so it's fine.

Yeah, you should definitely go in that direction

and do that right away. And, uh, take your time.

(chuckles weakly) Okay, I'm done helping.

(groans) Fine, still helping.

This is so stupid.

Are we gonna have to hold these dumb legs up

for the rest of our lives?

I'm sick of holding up my own legs.

Ugh, let's put them down.

Gene, I don't think we have any other choice.

We're just gonna have to

go and tell Mom and Dad that we broke the yeti.

And then Tina will say, "I told you so"

and then we'll go to mini-golf jail

and probably have to make mini license plates.

Do you think we'll still be allowed

to have Thanksgiving dinner tonight

before the cops take us away?

Maybe Mom will pack us a little jail turkey or something.

- Oh, God. - Guys, wait.

What do you want, Tina?

Yes, we broke this thing

and now we're gonna get into huge trouble.

You were right, we were dumb. Happy?

No. Listen, don't tell Mom and Dad anything.

What? We have to. There's no way to fix that yeti.

Turns out we're not the savvy mechanical engineers

- I assumed we were. - We've leaned it, tilted it,

and leaned it again. What else is there?

And don't say leaning. We've tried that.

We need something to replace this broken rod in here

that the legs rest on like, um...

oh, this.

That tiny pencil? But it's so wee.

No, we get a whole bunch of them.

Oh, my God, Tina, you're a genius.

Gene, pencils. Quick, let's go.

I've never run towards a pencil in my life, but okay!

- Okay, here's the goods. - And I kept one for myself

to put behind my ear like an old-timey newspaper man.

Great. So, I'm gonna jam a bunch of pencils

into this gear thing until it works again. Fingers crossed.

Oh, God.

I love it.

Are you sure you're not moonlighting for NASA?

You can tell us, we're cool.

Nice. Got it in two. Two for Bob.

Yeah, yeah, Tommy Two-Strokes.

Get ready for Linda Look-at-my-Hole-in-One.

Just as long as you don't

permanently change your name to that.

Okay. Feeling really, really good about this one.

No! I-I...

I hit it by accident. Redo, redo.

Okay, I'll just put a little asterisk

on the scorecard and write "redo".

But go ahead and start again.

I will. And if I get it in one, it counts as one.

Yup. Just gonna put that asterisk.

We're doing everything we can. Stay calm.

- You're gonna dance again. Oh, how you'll dance. - (bell rings)

MICHAEL: Ooh! More customers.

Thanksgiving mini-golf is officially happening.

Oh, crap. More people showed up. We got to fix this quick.

- MICHAEL: Welcome, welcome! - Hide.

Planet Mystery World at your service.

I'm coming right over.

- LOUISE: Hurry, Tina. - I know, I know.

GENE: Push in those pencils, pencil pusher.

It's the final hole.

This is my last chance.

The power is inside you, Linda. Find that power again.

Shoot, did I take the butter out of the fridge before we left?

- Bob! Putting! - Sorry.

Yes, yes, yes.

No. No. Are you kidding me?!

- (grumbling, moaning) - You're still a wonderful person, Lin.

Don't let mini-golf destroy you.

Hey, you got a hole in one in life?

- And at the fourth hole. - And at the fourth hole.

Which I will remember forever.

Yes. Can we go home now so I can finally make dinner?

- And have wine? - And have wine.

All right! Let's get the kids

- and get the hell out of here! - Oh, thank God.

M'kay, this seems like the right amount of pencils,

because that's all we had. Let's put the legs on.

(all grunting)

LINDA: Hey, kids, wherever you are!

It's time to go home and eat.

Okay, great. Quick, quick, quick.

And don't bother asking about the score

because I threw out the scorecard

and it doesn't matter, no one cares.

My score was really good, though.

- Just saying. - No.

Please let this work.

Legs, don't fail us now.

Okay, let's slowly let go and step back

and act like everything we're doing right now

is totally natural.

Yes! I mean, yeah, this is how his legs work.

And this is how I stand when I'm being super normal.

Okay, let's wrap it up so we can head back home to Turkey Town.

Where we belong.

- Ready. - Sounds good. - Yep, yep.

I want to go do the yeti!

Okay, okay, slow down. (chuckles) She loves the yeti.

What's not to love? Great hole. Great yeti.

Yup, yup.

- YETI: Mini-golf, yum! - (metal clanking)

- GIRL: Oh, no! - (gasping)

MOTHER: Oh, God. Is that supposed to happen?

Uh, and we're walking to the car...

(sighs) No, wait.

Mom, Dad, Gene and I have to tell you something.

When I said we'd pay for it I was really hoping

he would say, "That's okay." But now we're paying for it.

The kids are paying for it.

Right, but that means we have to start paying them

so they can pay us. So, really, we're paying.

- Well, they're grounded. - And banned.

Banned from a mini-golf course.

- (scoffs) - Should we leave them somewhere?

Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for a good spot.

I'd just like to mention again how sorry we are.

And how Thanksgiving is a time of forgiveness.

And also, Tina was right.

Gene and I shouldn't have been messing with the legs.

It was an accident and it could've happened to anyone.

I mean, dancing yetis?

A lot of moving parts. A lot that can go wrong.

- Yeah, I guess that's true. - Yeah, maybe.

- Thanks, T. - Dancing yetis is what I'm gonna call my S-Corp.

There you are. You look amazing.

I missed you so much while I was at mini-golf.

(high-pitched): You played mini-golf without me?

(normal voice): Wait, you like mini-golf?

(high-pitched): Of course I like mini-golf. I'm a turkey.

(normal voice): Right, right, sorry. I'll-I'll take you next time?

- (high-pitched): Good. - Next year, I'm just gonna

sit on the couch, have some wine, not shower

and watch the parade on TV like a normal person.

Happy Thanksgiving, Bob.

(normal voice): Happy Thanksgiving, Lin.

Mwah.

Ooh, you already have mashed potatoes

in your mustache, somehow.

Oh, God, I do.

- Ha! Mash-stache. - Mm.

Sorry we got you grounded

and you have to miss the party, Tina.

With the high school boys farting

their high school farts all over the beach.

Yeah. But there will be other high school boys parties.

In high school, I'm assuming?

Hey, um, also sorry for, uh,

sort of being jerky earlier.

And for calling you a dumb-dummy-boob-head.

You called me that?

Not to your face, but yeah.

I'm sorry too. I was a little on a high horse today.

And not just 'cause of that one hole we played that

had that really big horse being ridden

by another smaller horse.

You were kind of amazing today.

I mean, it didn't work for long. But it worked for a minute.

Thanks. And, hey, it was pretty mature of you

to tell Mom and Dad the truth.

We're grown-up folk now. I drink seltzer.

Louise, I know we're not always going to want

to do the same things, but I'll always have your back.

- Same here. - And I've got all your backs, too.

I'll never put anything ahead of my sisters.

- BOB: Kids. Dinner. - Turkey!

- Get out of my way! - TINA: Hey. Ow!

- LOUISE: Gene, watch it! - (Gene babbling)

LOUISE: ♪ Three, two, one, roll ♪

♪ With just one goal ♪

♪ Got to get it just right ♪

♪ To make the yeti go ♪

♪ Head spin, arm flaps ♪

♪ Legs do their tippy-tap ♪

♪ All at once is a vision ♪

♪ But only with precision ♪

♪ Three, two, one, roll, just one goal ♪

♪ Got to get it just right to make the yeti go ♪

- ♪ Sometimes the legs fall off ♪ - ♪ Say what? ♪

♪ But then Tina comes and saves your butt ♪

- YETI: ♪ Mini-golf, yum! ♪ - LOUISE: ♪ Three, two, one, roll ♪

♪ With just one goal ♪

- ♪ Got to get it just right to make the yeti ♪ - TINA/GENE: ♪ Yeti go ♪

- ♪ Three, two, one, roll ♪ - YETI: ♪ Mini-golf, yum! ♪

- ♪ Y-Yum, y-yum ♪ - ♪ Mini-golf, yum! ♪

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