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1
00:00:04,734 --> 00:00:07,767
( theme music playing )
2
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MAN:
Yo! Cab!
3
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Taxi!
4
00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:35,834
Where to?
5
00:01:37,334 --> 00:01:39,267
51st street, please.
6
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,033
Oh, right.
7
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:48,167
Do you mind the dog
being in the cab, do you?
8
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No. He doesn't mind me
being in it, does he?
9
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,667
Don't worry about him.
10
00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:54,267
He's very well trained.
11
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He just got out
of obedience school.
12
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I take him everywhere with me.
13
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,767
I just won him in a poker game
a few weeks back.
14
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It's a beautiful dog, isn't he?
15
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:02,234
Yeah, he sure is beautiful.
16
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:03,534
Name is Hamlet.
17
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:06,133
You can probably guess
why I call him Hamlet.
18
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,267
Grew up in a small town?
19
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,133
No. Because he's
a Great Dane.
20
00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,901
You know, Hamlet,
the Dane in the play.
21
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:17,901
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,000
Very intelligent dog, too.
23
00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:21,434
Watch, I'll show you.
24
00:02:21,467 --> 00:02:23,868
Speak, Hamlet. Speak.
25
00:02:26,534 --> 00:02:28,934
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
26
00:02:28,968 --> 00:02:30,968
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
27
00:02:31,033 --> 00:02:36,267
"O, what a rogue
and peasant slave am I!"
28
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:40,234
Come on, Hamlet, speak,
you stupid dog.
29
00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:41,601
Come on, speak!
30
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:43,467
That's okay. If he thinks
of something to say later on
31
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:45,367
he can call me.
32
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,901
Uh, it's a buck 65.
33
00:02:50,934 --> 00:02:52,234
There you go.
34
00:02:52,267 --> 00:02:53,968
Ah, that's all right.
35
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,234
Thank you.
36
00:02:55,267 --> 00:02:57,467
You know, he really is
a very smart dog.
37
00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,234
I don't know
what's wrong with him today.
38
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,000
Hold out your hand,
he'll give you his paw.
39
00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,634
Uh, no, I don't
think I better.
40
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,033
No, no, no.
Come on, hold out your hand,
41
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:05,534
he'll give you his paw.
42
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,234
Give him your paw, Ham.
43
00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,467
I said paw, not floor.
44
00:03:09,501 --> 00:03:10,467
Ah, that's okay.
45
00:03:10,501 --> 00:03:11,601
No, it isn't okay.
46
00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:13,767
Get up from there,
you stupid dog.
47
00:03:13,801 --> 00:03:15,300
Come on,
get up from there!
Hey, that's o...
48
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:16,467
Hey, mister, what
are you doing?
49
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:18,334
Get up from there.
Well, he's got to learn.
Hey, what are...
50
00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:19,400
Get up from there.
51
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:20,601
( dog whimpers )
Hey, don't hit the dog.
52
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,667
You-- It's my dog.
I'll hit him if I want to.
53
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,467
Get up from there
you stupid dog.
Come on, it's my cab.
54
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:26,300
Don't hit the dog
in my cab.
I said, get up from there!
55
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:27,834
Hey, mister, you hear
what I said?
When I tell you to get up
56
00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:29,234
Will you cut it out?
get up from there.
57
00:03:29,267 --> 00:03:30,601
Hey, mister, will you
cut that out?
Get up from there,
58
00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:32,234
you stupid dog.
Hey, give me that.
Give me that.
59
00:03:32,267 --> 00:03:33,667
What...?
Get out of my cab.
60
00:03:33,701 --> 00:03:34,667
Go on. Get out of here.
61
00:03:34,701 --> 00:03:36,767
All right.
Come on, Hamlet.
62
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:38,534
Hamlet, come out here!
63
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:40,033
Come...!
64
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:43,133
Hey, you got
my dog in there!
( barking )
65
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:45,467
( tires screeching )
66
00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:52,400
( brakes screeching )
67
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:03,501
Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler.
68
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,834
Any messages?
69
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:07,667
Well, a-are you sure?
70
00:04:07,701 --> 00:04:13,601
Yeah, okay, well,
just check again, all right?
71
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:15,734
O-okay. Now, listen.
I'm down at the garage.
72
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:18,133
If anybody calls,
you give them the number.
73
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:19,167
All right.
74
00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:27,467
Hey, what are you doing, man?
75
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,834
Let me go, Tony.
I got to hit something.
76
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:29,834
Hey, what are you crazy?
77
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:31,868
I can see you're upset,
but, uh, don't hit that.
78
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,033
You could really hurt yourself.
79
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:34,033
Yeah, well,
I don't care, man,
80
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,133
'cause I got to hit something.
81
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,334
All right,
all right. Here.
82
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:38,734
Hit me. Here,
in the stomach.
Go ahead.
83
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:39,834
I can't do that.
84
00:04:39,868 --> 00:04:42,367
Come on, don't worry about it.
I'm hard as a rock.
85
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,701
I do 200 sit-ups a day.
86
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:45,734
I go to the gym, guys
hit me all the time.
87
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:47,601
It's part of my training.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
88
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:48,934
You're sure now, right?
89
00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:50,300
Go ahead. Hard as
you can. Go ahead.
90
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,167
Oh, Tony!
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,601
Are you okay?
92
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,033
I'm fine. I'm fine.
93
00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,534
Hey, listen, if it makes you
feel any better,
94
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,601
I feel great.
95
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,968
Great.
Anytime I can help.
96
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,367
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry, Tony.
97
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,467
Hey, hey, John?
98
00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:08,834
John, don't use
that phone, okay?
99
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,501
John, I said
don't use that phone!
100
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,467
LOUIE:
Hey, Bob.
101
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:23,901
Is it all right if
John uses the toilet?
102
00:05:23,934 --> 00:05:25,767
Just lay off, Louie, okay?
103
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:28,267
I got a lot of things
on my mind.
104
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:29,634
Hi, boys.
105
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:30,934
Hi, Alex.
106
00:05:30,968 --> 00:05:32,067
Hi.
107
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,601
Hey, listen, um, could
you do me a favor?
108
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,667
Yeah?
I'm expecting a call
any minute, you know.
109
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,133
And could you wait with me?
110
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:38,834
'Cause I don't want to
be alone when I get it.
111
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:40,501
Yeah, sure.
What kind of phone call?
112
00:05:40,534 --> 00:05:42,000
Well, you see...
113
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:43,000
LATKA:
Alex. Yo.
114
00:05:43,033 --> 00:05:45,834
I find...
I find in your cab.
115
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:47,067
Yeah, I know.
116
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:49,501
Oh, my gosh.
Look at him.
117
00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,133
Wow. Where'd you find him?
118
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,501
I took him away from
some guy in my cab.
119
00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,000
He was whipping him
with his leash.
120
00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:56,367
Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy.
You could hurt somebody.
121
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,701
ALEX:
Not him.
122
00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,534
Hey, Alex...
123
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,534
He's so gorgeous.
124
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,801
What's his name?
125
00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:02,801
Alex, you see,
this phone call...
126
00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,100
His name is Hamlet.
127
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:05,434
Are you going to him?
128
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:06,434
Well, I guess so.
129
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:07,968
Till I can find
a better home for him.
130
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,367
Hey, Latka, will you do me a
favor and get Hamlet some water?
131
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,200
Come on.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby.
132
00:06:14,234 --> 00:06:16,634
Uh, you were telling me
about this phone call.
133
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:17,634
Yeah, it...
Hey, so what's doing here?
134
00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:18,968
Are we getting
breakfast or what?
135
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,501
Hey, what's this phone call
you're waiting for?
136
00:06:20,534 --> 00:06:23,000
It's about an acting job.
137
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:23,801
Oh...
138
00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:25,000
Yeah, I'm up for the lead
139
00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:26,300
in an off-broadway play.
140
00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:27,667
That's something.
All right!
141
00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:29,033
Yeah, but the thing is
142
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:30,834
it's down between me
and two other guys
143
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,300
and they said they'd let me know
this morning. So...
144
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,834
Stuff like that's
always happening to you.
145
00:06:34,868 --> 00:06:36,200
This is special?
146
00:06:36,234 --> 00:06:39,234
Yeah. See, that's why I wanted
to talk to you, Alex.
147
00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:42,033
I've got this whole
thing like, I...
148
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,567
All right, all right.
Everybody sit down.
149
00:06:45,601 --> 00:06:46,601
I'll tell you
150
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,501
See, when I first came
to New York...
151
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:54,033
Where did you
come from, Bobby?
152
00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:55,367
The Bronx.
153
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,868
I made this deal with myself.
154
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:03,968
I mean, I knew how
there were thousands
155
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,601
of starving actors here
156
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,167
and how it's a rotten life
and how very few make it
157
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,667
and how you can get old trying,
you know?
158
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,767
So I gave myself
a strict time limit.
159
00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:14,400
Three years.
160
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,033
Three years to get started
as an actor.
161
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,300
Now, I promised myself,
if in that amount of time
162
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:20,100
if I didn't get
a paid acting job
163
00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:22,968
I'd give it up,
get a regular full-time job
164
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,601
and never think
about acting again.
165
00:07:24,634 --> 00:07:26,534
I mean a guy
can't go on
166
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:27,701
like I've been doing forever.
167
00:07:27,734 --> 00:07:29,734
You know, beating my brains out
here six nights a week.
168
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,200
Spending my days trying out for
something that might not happen.
169
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,968
I mean, there's got
to be a limit.
170
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,701
I figured three years.
171
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:38,367
I mean, how could I not get a
job in three years, you know?
172
00:07:42,267 --> 00:07:44,834
Three years are up today.
173
00:07:44,868 --> 00:07:47,367
I mean, my life is riding
on this job, you know?
174
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,667
I got to get this part, Alex.
175
00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:51,667
You see, that's-that's why
I wanted you to be with me.
176
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:52,868
Yeah, I know.
Well, listen...
177
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:55,501
'Cause you know how
much I want to act.
178
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:59,767
It's the only thing
in the world that...
179
00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:02,000
that really matters to me.
180
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,033
Yeah, I know...
181
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,100
I mean, if they call
up and they tell me
182
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,701
that they're gonna pick
one of those other guys,
183
00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:07,400
Alex, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
184
00:08:07,434 --> 00:08:08,601
W-What are you going to do?
185
00:08:08,634 --> 00:08:10,467
So, they pick another guy. I
mean, It's not the world, is it?
186
00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:13,100
MAN:
All right, I
want my dog.
187
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,133
Where's my dog?
188
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:15,467
I'll right back to you,
Bobby.
189
00:08:15,501 --> 00:08:16,634
I got to deal
with this guy first.
190
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,868
Come on, where is he?
Hamlet?!
191
00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:19,901
Hamlet?!
192
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,133
Oh, there he is.
193
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,801
Would you give me
that dog, please?
194
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:23,968
What dog?
195
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,968
Well, that dog.
196
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,133
That's my dog.
197
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:28,567
I don't see any dog.
What dog are you talking about?
198
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:29,868
ELAINE:
Yeah, I don't see
any dog either.
199
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,167
Dog? What dog?
200
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,834
Hey, Fred, do you see a dog?
What dog?
201
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:35,234
There isn't
any dog here.
202
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:36,300
Oh, I get it.
203
00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:37,467
You guys are looking
for trouble, huh?
204
00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:38,667
LOUIE:
Hey!
205
00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:40,033
What's going on out here?
206
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:41,968
Are you in charge here?
207
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:45,868
Do old ladies get mugged?
208
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:52,634
Well, that dog is my dog,
and I want him now.
209
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:55,300
Hey, Louie, we don't know
what this guy's talking about.
210
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,701
You don't see
no dog here, do ya?
211
00:08:57,734 --> 00:09:01,501
Uh... yeah...
I got something in my eyes.
212
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:02,801
I can't see anything.
213
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,133
I can't see if there's
a dog here or not.
214
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:06,234
Anybody got a dollar bill
215
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:09,200
I could wipe the sweat
out of my eyes?
216
00:09:09,234 --> 00:09:11,300
ALEX:
Here, Louie.
217
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:15,467
There's no dog here, mister.
218
00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:18,167
You guys think
you're pretty cute, don't you?
219
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,133
Well, you'd better
give me that dog
220
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,801
and you'd better
give him to me right now,
221
00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:23,067
because if you don't,
222
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,300
I'm going straight from here
to the police.
223
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:26,200
Oh...
224
00:09:26,234 --> 00:09:27,200
Now, does anybody want
225
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,400
to talk to me about that or not?
226
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,033
Sure, you want somebody
to talk to you?
227
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:31,267
MAN:
Yeah.
Latka.
228
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:37,000
Hi.
229
00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:42,300
( speaking native language )
230
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,567
Go, Latka!
231
00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:49,033
( phone ringing )
232
00:09:57,534 --> 00:09:58,834
Hi.
233
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:00,167
Yeah, yeah.
234
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,868
This is Bobby Wheeler.
235
00:10:04,868 --> 00:10:08,167
Uh, no, uh...
that's okay, you know.
236
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:12,868
Right. I-I-I, uh...
I appreciate the call, really.
237
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,067
( sighing )
238
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:31,067
I didn't get the part, Hamlet.
239
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:44,033
Here are my
bookings, Louie.
240
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:45,534
( barking )
241
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,033
( laughing )
242
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,033
That's a good Hamlet.
243
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,200
That's good, Hamlet.
244
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,267
Hey, Louie... Louie...
245
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,434
for God's sake, man,
it's my turn.
246
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,501
Let me have him, huh?
247
00:10:53,534 --> 00:10:55,868
All right, All right.
248
00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:57,901
I'll let you have him,
249
00:10:57,934 --> 00:11:00,467
but only 'cause your dreams
are crashing around you.
250
00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:01,801
Thanks.
251
00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:03,234
Good boy.
252
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:04,767
Good boy. Yeah.
253
00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:08,400
( groans )
254
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,968
Hey, Bobby, listen,
don't worry about it.
255
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,300
Everything's going
to be okay.
256
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:15,801
Will you stop talking
to him like that, Elaine?
257
00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:17,567
How is everything be okay?
258
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:19,133
Look, I don't know
much about acting,
259
00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:21,067
but what I do know is,
if you want a good job
260
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,567
you got to go
stand in line.
261
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:26,534
If you want to find a good job
acting, find a line to stand in.
262
00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:29,067
Bobby, you're
not going to get anywhere
263
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,601
sitting here
feeling sorry for yourself.
264
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,667
BOBBY:
Damn it, Alex, you're right.
265
00:11:34,701 --> 00:11:36,767
There's still 14 hours to gobefore midnight.
266
00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:39,834
I'm gonna knock on every doorin New York if I have to.
267
00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:41,200
I don't care what it is--
268
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,601
bit part, commercial, walk-on--
269
00:11:43,634 --> 00:11:45,601
but I'm going to get something.
270
00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:50,767
Hi, Tom.
271
00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:51,767
Hi, Bobby.
272
00:11:51,801 --> 00:11:52,934
Oh, gee, thanks a lot.
273
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,834
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate it. Really.
274
00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:55,868
Oh, don't mention it.
275
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:56,868
Now, it's just a lucky thing
276
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:58,367
that you happened
to come by today.
Yeah.
277
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,367
Now, look, Bobby, you do
understand that the director
278
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,300
is doing the casting
on the commercial.
279
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:03,801
I can't influence him
for you.
280
00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:05,167
Yeah, of course,
but, you know,
281
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,868
any tips on how I might
be able to catch his eye?
282
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,567
Just, uh, be yourself.
283
00:12:10,601 --> 00:12:12,400
I better go rehearse a little.
Okay.
284
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,067
MAN:
Tom?
285
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,000
Tom, okay, I'm ready.
286
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,868
Everybody, everybody,
287
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,534
this is Peter Nicholson
our director.
288
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,767
Thank you.
289
00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:38,901
Okay, now, I'm sure
you're all familiar
290
00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:40,234
with this commercial.
291
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,400
I'd like Tom over here.
Yeah.
292
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:45,167
And I'd like you all to form
a loose semicircle behind him
293
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,033
with your backs
towards him, please.
294
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,033
Okay?
295
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,534
Now I will cue Tom
296
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:53,033
and I want you
to react naturally for me, okay?
297
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,067
And... Tom.
298
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:59,567
"My broker is EF Hutton,
and EF Hutton says... "
299
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,100
PETER:
Great!
300
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,133
Okay, thank you.
301
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:06,701
We'll be in touch.
302
00:13:11,234 --> 00:13:12,400
Thank you.
303
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:16,400
Uh... Tom,
h-how did I do?
304
00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:19,133
You did fine, just fine,
Bobby, really.
305
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,067
You, uh, think I got a shot?
306
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,000
Yeah, you got a shot!
307
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:24,767
Gees, thanks, Tom.
308
00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:48,133
( chimes tinkling )
309
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:49,133
I'll be right there in a minute.
310
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,601
I'll be right there,
right there.
311
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:52,100
( chimes tinkling )
312
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,934
All right, coming, coming.
313
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:55,434
Hey, come on in.
314
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,934
Hey, did you get the commercial?
315
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,434
Hey, did you get
your commercial?
316
00:13:58,467 --> 00:13:59,934
Just wait
a minute.
317
00:13:59,968 --> 00:14:02,367
Are you going
to tell us or not?
318
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,367
Well, wait till
everybody's inside.
319
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,734
ELAINE:
Did you get it?
320
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:07,968
I didn't get it!
321
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:08,901
( all cheering )
322
00:14:08,934 --> 00:14:09,901
What?
323
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:11,434
What?
324
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:13,267
So what are we
celebrating, then?
325
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,367
Oh. Well...
326
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,868
My first acting job.
327
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:17,601
Oh...
328
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:19,400
You got your first
acting job?
329
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:20,534
Not yet!
330
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,100
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
331
00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:23,601
What?
332
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:26,334
What is this, some kind
of a new party game here?
333
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:28,767
Hey, it's okay
that I didn't get a job,
334
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,667
because I'm going to get one.
335
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:31,734
( cheering )
336
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:32,834
Wait a minute.
Are you sure?
337
00:14:32,868 --> 00:14:34,200
Oh, positive.
338
00:14:34,234 --> 00:14:35,200
( soft cheering )
339
00:14:35,234 --> 00:14:38,133
And it's gonna be
before midnight tonight.
340
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,467
Come on,
I'll tell you
all about it.
341
00:14:39,501 --> 00:14:40,567
Let's everybody
have a drink.
342
00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:41,767
Yeah, let's have a drink.
343
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:43,601
Hey, Latka, come on.
Let's go.
Come on, come on.
344
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,033
( mumbling )
345
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,901
Okay, all right,
somebody make a toast
346
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,367
and we're set.
Okay, um...
347
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,767
Toast, toast.
348
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,033
Eh...
349
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:56,300
( speaking native language )
350
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:57,868
No, no.
351
00:14:57,901 --> 00:15:00,434
Everybody must do toast.
352
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,534
( all speaking native language )
353
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:06,467
No, no, no, no.
354
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,534
( speakingnative language )
355
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:10,367
( all repeating )
356
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,801
No, no, no.
357
00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:13,434
( changing words )
358
00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:16,634
Latka, if you don't mind,
I'll make the toast.
359
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,400
To Bobby's new job.
360
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:20,567
Hear, hear.
361
00:15:20,601 --> 00:15:22,501
Ni-nice toast.
362
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:26,200
Okay, come on, come on.
Everybody, sit down.
363
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,467
Yeah, come on.
Okay.
364
00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:30,767
ELAINE:
Well, Bobby,
why don't you just tell us
365
00:15:30,801 --> 00:15:32,000
about the job
you're going to get.
366
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,701
Oh, well...
367
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:36,434
When I found out I didn't get
the commercial this morning
368
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:37,701
I really started hustling.
369
00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:39,901
I went into every
casting office in this town.
370
00:15:39,934 --> 00:15:41,667
Some guys even
had me read for parts, you know?
371
00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:44,334
And that's pretty good when
you're going in cold, you know.
372
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,567
Yeah, I'll say.
373
00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:46,601
Who am I kidding?
374
00:15:46,634 --> 00:15:48,200
That's great when
you're going in cold!
375
00:15:48,234 --> 00:15:50,400
And some of them even told me
that I was in the running.
376
00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:52,400
So one of them
should come through, right?
377
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:53,968
Sure.
378
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,234
I'm gonna get a call on my phone
before midnight tonight
379
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:57,901
when the three years are up,
380
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,767
and I'm not going to have
to give up acting.
381
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:02,200
Oh, you know, it's just so great
382
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:03,667
when you know it
in your heart, man.
383
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,067
You don't have
to sweat it anymore.
384
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,634
( soft agreements )
385
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,300
Well, maybe somebody
is going to call you, Bobby,
386
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,200
but how do you know they're
gonna call before midnight?
387
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:12,033
Well, that's simple logic.
388
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,667
You see, when you're
good at something
389
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:17,534
you end up doing it.
390
00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:18,901
Now, I'm not going
to end up acting
391
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,434
unless I get a phone call
before midnight. So...
392
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:23,133
I'm gonna get a call
before midnight.
393
00:16:26,534 --> 00:16:27,901
Isn't it wonderful?
394
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:31,434
I mean, so what if he
doesn't get a call tonight?
395
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,901
He's feeling really
great right now.
396
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:35,234
Yeah. So what if you're
falling off the cliff?
397
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:37,334
The view is wonderful
on the way down.
398
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,667
What does that mean?
399
00:16:38,701 --> 00:16:40,000
Somebody better tell this guy
400
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,167
that he's setting himself up
for too big a fall.
401
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,367
Alex, don't.
402
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,968
Sure. We all leave here
at 11:59
403
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,234
with a song in our heart,
404
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,868
and hope we don't
hear the thud.
405
00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:49,067
I just don't think
it's appropriate
406
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:50,334
right now.
407
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,667
Hey, uh, what are you guys
talking about?
408
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,067
Nothing. Alex
is just getting
a little nervous.
409
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,834
Now come on, Elaine.
I got to tell him
what I'm thinking.
410
00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:56,968
I'm his friend.
411
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:57,968
Hey, don't worry, Alex.
412
00:16:58,033 --> 00:16:59,033
I just explained to you
413
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,200
why I'm gonna get the call
before midnight, right?
414
00:17:01,234 --> 00:17:02,167
Yeah, yeah, I know--
415
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,467
because you're
so good at acting.
416
00:17:03,501 --> 00:17:04,634
Exactly.
417
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:06,200
Great actors get jobs.
418
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,567
I'm a great actor.
419
00:17:07,601 --> 00:17:09,934
Bobby, we got
to be rational here.
420
00:17:09,968 --> 00:17:10,968
I am being rational.
421
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,067
I'm good.
422
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,434
Good people do what
they're good at and I'm good.
423
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,033
Bobby...
424
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,234
I got to act, Alex,
425
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:17,334
because I'm good.
426
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:18,467
Bobby, listen...
427
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:19,634
I'm good!
428
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,200
Look, just because
someone doesn't call you
429
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:22,234
by midnight doesn't mean...
430
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:24,100
The only way that
phone's not gonna ring
431
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:25,200
before midnight, Alex,
432
00:17:25,234 --> 00:17:26,834
is if I'm not good enough.
433
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:28,367
And you're not going to tell
me...
434
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,834
Maybe you're not that good.
435
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,067
Yet.
436
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,234
Doesn't mean that
437
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:36,868
with a little more experience,
you couldn't get there.
438
00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:38,133
All right, Just stop it.
All right?
439
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,300
Now you've said
what you had to say.
440
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,367
Now let me talk, all right?
441
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,567
Well...
442
00:17:45,601 --> 00:17:48,467
When I was six years old,
Alex...
443
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,701
my father died,
444
00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:52,968
and I never had
any older brothers.
445
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:57,634
Had a couple of older sisters,
but, uh...
446
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,000
till I met you
447
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:02,033
I don't think there was
ever a man in my life
448
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:03,968
that I felt was on my side.
449
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,033
I mean, I had lots
of friends and everything,
450
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,334
but I always felt
451
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,701
there was something special
between you and me.
452
00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:14,167
And you
knew that, Alex.
453
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,067
You knew how I...
how I looked up to you
454
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,534
and respected you,
and counted on you.
455
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,067
Oh, come on, Bobby...
456
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,267
Please, just...
let me finish all right?
457
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:28,200
What you just said just now--
458
00:18:28,234 --> 00:18:32,267
I mean, it would have been okay
coming from a friend,
459
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:35,000
but not from somebody
I felt about
460
00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:37,601
the way I feel about you.
461
00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:42,033
I don't know
how to tell you, I...
462
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,234
you just hurt
me now, Alex...
463
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:46,334
Except to say that...
464
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,701
it feels like, uh...
465
00:18:48,734 --> 00:18:52,400
like my father just died again.
466
00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:53,868
Oh, come on, Bobby.
467
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,033
No, it's a little
late for that, man.
468
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,000
I needed you
and you let me down.
469
00:18:58,033 --> 00:18:59,467
I needed you, Alex.
470
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:01,534
Bobby, Alex is only
trying to...
471
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:02,934
You stay out of
this, Elaine!
472
00:19:02,968 --> 00:19:05,667
It's between
Alex and me.
473
00:19:05,701 --> 00:19:07,367
There's only one thing
474
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,868
that I want
from you right now, Alex.
475
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:13,200
And that's for you
to get out of here.
476
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:16,868
( voice breaking ):
I don't want to see you again.
477
00:19:16,901 --> 00:19:18,968
I don't want to talk to you.
478
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,234
I don't want to know you, man!
479
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:23,000
Bobby...
480
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:24,501
All right, come on,
all right?
481
00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:25,801
Just get out, all right?!
482
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,367
Just get the hell
out of here!
483
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:36,734
You still say I'm
not such a good actor?
484
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:53,100
Hey, that
was something.
485
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,968
( laughing )
486
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:59,834
You bastard.
487
00:20:05,534 --> 00:20:08,000
Now, baby, ring.
488
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:10,868
Come on, ring.
489
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:13,367
Blap. Blap.
490
00:20:17,734 --> 00:20:20,067
It's two minutes to 12:00,
Bobby.
491
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,934
Yeah, I know what time it is,
Elaine,
492
00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:24,601
but please stop telling me
what time it is.
493
00:20:24,634 --> 00:20:26,334
I mean, it's going to ring
before midnight
494
00:20:26,367 --> 00:20:27,701
and then that's that, you know?
495
00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:30,367
I haven't said this yet,
but it's going to ring.
496
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,367
Okay, now hold it down
497
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,467
because it's, like,
only 40 seconds left.
498
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,734
It's going to ring.
I just know it.
499
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:39,033
It's going to ring.
500
00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:46,868
Maybe your watch is off.
501
00:20:46,901 --> 00:20:48,234
No.
502
00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:52,601
It has to be by my watch.
503
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:54,834
Ten, nine,
504
00:20:54,868 --> 00:20:58,601
eight, seven, six,
505
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,934
five, four,
506
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,434
three,
507
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:03,767
two,
508
00:21:03,801 --> 00:21:05,267
one,
509
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,501
zero.
510
00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:07,734
Zero.
511
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,133
Zero.
512
00:21:13,534 --> 00:21:14,801
Zero.
513
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:33,033
I-I promised myself
that I'd quit acting...
514
00:21:33,067 --> 00:21:36,601
and get a job in three years.
515
00:21:36,634 --> 00:21:39,634
Well, it's...
it's been three years.
516
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,000
Aw, what the hell.
517
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:45,601
I'll give myself
another three years.
518
00:21:57,367 --> 00:21:58,934
MAN:
There he is.
519
00:21:58,968 --> 00:22:00,767
That's my dog.
520
00:22:00,801 --> 00:22:02,734
( clearing throat )
521
00:22:02,767 --> 00:22:03,968
Excuse me.
522
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,634
Hamlet, come over here.
523
00:22:05,667 --> 00:22:06,901
( Hamlet growls )
524
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,334
I'll teach you
to growl at me.
525
00:22:08,367 --> 00:22:09,367
Wait till I get you home!
526
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,000
Officer, where
is this insane man
527
00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:12,100
going with my dog?
528
00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:13,100
Your dog?
529
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:15,067
See, he admits it.
530
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:17,234
Officer, this is my dog
and I'm taking him.
531
00:22:17,267 --> 00:22:20,000
Officer, this is my dog
and he's not going anywhere.
532
00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:21,868
Why don't you just
stand them at a distance
533
00:22:21,901 --> 00:22:23,033
and let them call the dog?
534
00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:25,200
Whichever one he goes
to gets the dog, right?
535
00:22:25,234 --> 00:22:26,868
This guy ought to run
for borough president.
536
00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:29,000
All right, Officer,
where do I stand?
537
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:30,601
You stand over there.
Fine.
538
00:22:30,634 --> 00:22:31,968
Where do I stand?
539
00:22:32,033 --> 00:22:34,000
And you stand over there.
540
00:22:39,534 --> 00:22:41,133
Sit, boy.
541
00:22:41,167 --> 00:22:43,400
Now, when I say so,
542
00:22:43,434 --> 00:22:45,300
I want you both
to call the dog's name.
543
00:22:45,334 --> 00:22:47,000
And whichever one he goes to,
that's the dog's owner,
544
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,200
and that's that, okay?
545
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,200
Okay.
546
00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:50,200
Okay.
547
00:22:50,234 --> 00:22:51,334
Okay.
548
00:22:51,367 --> 00:22:52,734
Oh, one second.
549
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:02,801
Huh?
550
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,801
What was that all about?
551
00:23:07,834 --> 00:23:11,267
I just want to make sure
no one's carrying any meat.
552
00:23:14,701 --> 00:23:16,934
Okay, call the dog.
553
00:23:16,968 --> 00:23:17,934
Hamlet.
554
00:23:17,968 --> 00:23:18,934
Hamlet.
555
00:23:18,968 --> 00:23:19,934
Hamlet.
Hamlet, come here.
556
00:23:19,968 --> 00:23:20,968
Come over here,
Hamlet.
Come on, Hamlet.
557
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,000
Hamlet.
Hamlet.
558
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:23,434
Hamlet, come over here.
559
00:23:23,467 --> 00:23:24,534
Come over here!
560
00:23:24,567 --> 00:23:25,634
Hamlet, come over here!
561
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:26,734
( muttering )
562
00:23:26,767 --> 00:23:27,834
Come over here!
563
00:23:27,868 --> 00:23:29,234
Wait till I get you.
564
00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:30,334
Come over here.
565
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,934
You come over here!
566
00:23:31,968 --> 00:23:33,934
Come over here
when I tell you.
567
00:23:33,968 --> 00:23:35,100
Come over here.
568
00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:36,300
( all sighing )
569
00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:38,100
Well, I guess
that's that.
570
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:39,634
Hey, man,
why would he do that?
571
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:41,501
Go with the guy
that beats him?
572
00:23:41,534 --> 00:23:42,667
( growling )
573
00:23:42,701 --> 00:23:44,300
MAN:
It's his dog!
It's his dog!
574
00:23:44,334 --> 00:23:45,834
It's his dog!
575
00:23:53,501 --> 00:23:56,234
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:20,534 --> 00:24:22,234
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:22,267 --> 00:24:23,434
( grunts )
39809
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