Original subtitles

♪ What would you do if I sang out of tune? ♪

♪ Would you stand up and walk out on me? ♪

♪ Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ♪

♪ I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪ ♪ By with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ All I need is my buddies ♪

♪ High with a little help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ -♪ Try with a little help from my friends ♪

- ♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ♪ - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Amazing Grace ♪

Once upon a time, our country was founded upon...

Faith.

♪ ...the sound ♪

♪ That saved... ♪

Faith in all its forms.

♪ ...a wretch like me ♪

But during the late 1960s,

people began looking heavenward

for new answers to old questions.

And we have liftoff, Apollo 13.

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪

The bravest among us journeyed into the unknown,

while the rest of us stood by with our support,

our goodwill, and of course...

Damn!

Our taxes.

[ Briefcase thuds ]

Already?

For my father, April was the cruelest month.

I bust my hump all year for this?

It wasn't that dad didn't have faith in Uncle Sam.

He believed in taxes.

Here you are, honey.

Mm.

It was just the part about paying them he resented.

So, from the moment the old 1040s arrived in the mail,

life around the Arnold house

shifted into a kind of state of emergency.

Here, daddy.

Have a seat.

[ Man speaking indistinctly on TV ]

We all knew the drill.

And each of us had an assignment.

[ Groans ]

Apollo 13 astronauts report smooth sailing

on day one of their mission to the moon.

Kevin, turn down the damn TV!

My assignment was to turn down the damn TV.

Wayne's assignment was to be...

Well... Invisible.

After that, it was all kind of up to mom.

I'll put these in the file with the other forms.

See, even though dad filled out the forms

and signed the checks,

it was mom who kept the receipts,

organized the paperwork...

- [ Groans ] - ...Stockpiled the bicarb,

and generally... Anyone for dinner?

Kept dad from eating us alive.

I bust my hump all year for this?

Still, for all his grumbling,

on some level, dad knew taxes were inevitable,

something you could depend on, like, say...

I want you to write your obituaries.

Death.

I think you'll find this very interesting.

Miss Stebbins was teaching us creative writing.

And we were learning that creative writing

wasn't a book report or how I spent my summer vacation.

Creative writing was...

The end of your life.

What will they say about you in the newspaper?

Yes. Harold.

Which newspaper?

Any newspaper you like.

What did you do?

What did you accomplish?

What's the point of this?

[ Slams chalk ] Good question, Kevin.

[ Chuckles ]

We became engaged in Captain Ahab's obsessive quest.

We cried when Jane and Rochester finally got married.

Why?

Yes, Harold?

'Cause they were dead?

[ Light laughter ]

Because you cared about the characters.

Now, how do we write a character?

We start with the one we've got to know about first...

ourselves.

Who are you, who were you,

and where are you headed?

Faced with such profound and disturbing questions,

one thought sprang immediately to our minds.

Yes, Susan.

How long does this have to be?

Oh... About a page.

[ All sigh ]

One page?

One page?!

Paul, it's not that bad.

How do you cram a full and productive lifetime

into one page?

Kevin, don't you realize how deep this is?

Paul, aren't you taking this a little too seriously?

Heck, this wasn't brain surgery.

We were just writing our obituaries here.

So many decisions to make.

For instance, do I go into practice with my dad,

or do I marry Marsha Brady?

Or both!

Kev?

I don't want to die.

My best friend had, what you might call, a malleable mind.

Me? I wasn't worried.

What was the big deal?

It was just a page... one lousy, little page.

33 lines.

290 words if you wrote big.

What's that?

Oh! Nothing.

Which was true.

I'd been staring at that page for an hour-and-a-half

without coming up with a single word.

Some kind of writer's block, I guess.

An obituary? Oh, let me see.

- Maybe I can help. - Wayne...

Let's see...

"Kevin Arnold.

"Born a butthead.

"Lived a butthead's life.

"Died...

A butthead!"

Did you get any of that down?

Wayne, stop teasing Kevin.

Your father's trying to watch the news.

Mom was serious.

Every year, the night before he paid his taxes,

my father had a ritual of watching the news.

We figured it made him feel better to know

that others were suffering,

and at least it helped keep his mind off of...

Astronaut John Swigert today

joked he'd forgotten to file his federal income tax returns.

Manned-spacecraft center officials

assured him they'd get an extension.

[ Groaning ]

Mm.

Oh, abandon couch.

Bicarb, Jack?

[ Door closes ] Too late. The beast was stirring.

Did you get those receipts together yet, Norma?

Don't worry, honey. Everything is under control.

That was mom. Always the picture of calm.

Saturday we'll fill out the forms.

We'll get it over with.

Norma?

Right.

I'll get your bicarb.

What's wrong with her?

Hard to tell.

I guess mom had problems of her own.

Meanwhile, I had a deadline.

- [ Sighs ] - And I do mean deadline.

Dad, have you ever thought about your life?

Huh?

Uh, well, it's for school.

I mean, if you had to write about it,

what would you say?

Okay. Time for a meaningful father/son exchange here,

a thoughtful summing up.

I get up at 5:00 in the morning.

I fight traffic.

I bust my hump all day.

I fight traffic again.

And I come home.

Then I pay my taxes.

The end.

[ Groans ]

In a way, it kind of made you feel like you knew the guy.

My only consolation was that I was pretty sure

nobody else was gonna do this assignment, either.

The world mourns the loss of a great poet, Susan Kelley,

whose work made her lots and lots of money.

The minute he got out of high school,

he joined the service to fight for his country.

After he won the Grand Prix,

there was a series of empty relationships.

When he spoke... People listened!

She brutally murdered her little sister

and was cleared of all charges.

Chapter 7, age 36.

The harvest ripens.

Poised on the very cusp of young adulthood,

I venture forth from the safe and secure hallways of academia

and into the cut-throat world of ophthalmology.

Before the age of 40, I invent the strapless sport spectacle.

Ah, thank you very much, Paul.

But we have to have time for everyone.

Yes!

Now, who's next?

Kevin?

How about you?

He was born of humble parentage

and grew up living a simple life.

He served several years in the Virginia legislature

and then went on to become President of the United States.

There. Short but sweet.

Honest, to the point.

That's very nice, Kevin.

That was also George Washington's life.

[ Light laughter ]

Rats!

Now, I suggest you get a life of your own and write about it.

Well, miss Stebbins...

It's just that...

I'm not sure I'm ready to write about my life yet.

I understand.

In that case, you may have over the weekend.

Turn it in on Monday.

Right?

Right.

All right, Harold, your turn.

Kevin Arnold... he lived a good life...

Until he got this writing assignment.

[ Sighs ]

It didn't seem fair.

When you're 13 years old,

the last thing you want to have to worry about is your life.

That's what you have parents for.

Sure.

Let her worry.

Only let's not overdo it here.

Mom?

Apollo 11 prepared for loi...

Everything all right?

I'm sorry, Kevin. What were you saying?

Something was wrong.

Mom could usually talk on the phone,

cook dinner, yell at Wayne,

and help you with your homework all without missing a beat.

Mom?

How could I be so stupid?

The whole point of taking them to make copies

was so that we wouldn't lose the receipts.

You lost the tax receipts?

They're just... Gone.

This was unbelievable!

My mother?

The most organized woman in the world?

Oh, don't worry, honey.

They're bound to turn up.

[ Sighs ]

You really think so?

I wanted to believe her. I did.

But something about the way she was staring at that TV

gave me the distinct impression that...

Well, to put it mildly...

We interrupt this broadcast for a CBS news special report.

Uh, Houston, this is Apollo 13.

We've had a problem here.

Okay, Houston...

This is a CBS news special report.

Trouble has developed aboard Apollo 13.

Trouble serious enough

to jeopardize the continuation of the mission.

So much for emergencies in space.

It was just a grocery bag full of receipts.

We had a few of our own right here at home.

No?

[ Sighs ] Oh, dear.

Well, thank you, anyway.

Tax day at ground zero.

Situation... grim.

Mom had turned the house upside down

looking for those tax receipts...

[ Door opens, closes ] ...With no luck.

Norma?

[ Clippers clacking ]

Time to get started.

Gee, what was he gonna do, hack those w-2s to death?

Got to sharpen these clippers out in the garage.

Oh. That's a good idea.

Sure. Good idea. Distract him with tools.

Then after dinner, we'll go to work on those taxes, hmm?

The astronauts do not appear

to be in any immediate danger.

- Honey? - Hmm?

I was just thinking...

Why waste a perfectly good Saturday night on paperwork?

Why don't we... Go out to a movie?

It's been ages since we all went out together.

Come on, dad. I think it'll be fun.

At a point where, even in an emergency,

it is more efficient to swing around the moon and return...

Maybe tomorrow.

We're doing taxes tonight.

[ Door opens, closes ]

It made you wonder... do moms ever actually sweat?

Are you okay, mom?

Oh.

I think I'll take a shower.

Well, that answered that.

Those poor astronauts.

Their families must be worried sick.

Well, somebody's family, anyway.

Still, maybe I was blowing this all out of proportion.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

He's gonna kill her.

[ Grinder buzzing ]

Kill her?

That sounded a little extreme.

After all, dad was a reasonable kind of... Guy.

Damn piece of tin.

Dad?

I was just wondering...

What happens if you don't pay your taxes?

What are you talking about?

Well... Say you forgot.

Or you couldn't, for some reason.

What would happen then?

There. A reasonable question.

You'd go to jail.

And a reasonable answer.

Oh.

Unless, of course, you got a legitimate excuse.

Okay. That might apply here.

What if, say, uh, like...

You...

Lose your... your receipts and stuff?

What?!

Well, I mean, if somehow by a freak accident.

Oh, my gosh. He knew.

Now I get it.

You know, Kev, you worry too much.

I do?

Your mom would never lose those receipts.

She guards them with her life.

Uh-huh.

That's exactly what I was afraid of.

[ Chuckles ]

It was becoming pretty clear

mine wasn't the only obituary that needed writing.

[ Door opens ] ...A loud bang, followed by a power loss

[ door closes ] In two of their three fuel cells.

They also reported seeing fuel...

Norma?

Time to get to work.

We put it off long enough.

What, honey?

You got all the forms together?

You got the state and federal, my w-2s,

the receipts?

Of course.

I'll get cleaned up, and we'll start.

Uh, Jack?

Well, the moment of truth had come.

Mom was gonna have to come clean.

She was gonna have to...

I have an errand to run in town.

I'll be back in a bit.

Run for her life.

It was kind of like watching ouster

turn tail at little big horn.

[ Door closes ]

I gotta go.

Can I have a ride?

And I alone was left to tell the tale.

Well, maybe I'll get started without her.

Where'd she leave those damn receipts?

Well, that was that.

In a matter of hours, my family was going to explode.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Except, of course...

Head for the hills myself.

I wasn't sure where I was going.

All I knew was... I couldn't go home.

[ Bell tolling ]

I guess mom was feeling that way, too.

It was strange.

I'd never seen her in church before,

except for weddings...

And funerals.

But there she was,

lighting a candle for those stupid tax receipts.

I wanted to help her,

to make everything right,

but I knew I couldn't.

All I could do was hope that, somehow,

she'd find an answer here.

Mom?

Mom?

Yes, honey?

Do you think your prayers will be answered?

One way or another.

We drove for quite awhile.

I guess neither of us were in a hurry to get home.

[ Engine shuts off ]

The emergency has ruled out

any chance of a lunar landing...

Faced with the inevitable, mom seemed so calm and brave.

Norma?

Norma, where the hell are those receipts?

Mission control has given no official word on what will be done,

but has declared that the Lem's descent rocket engine

will be used in aborting the mission

and getting the astronauts safely back to earth.

And now, the world holds its breath

as the brave astronauts of Apollo 13

prepare to swing around the dark side of the moon

in their disabled spacecraft.

[ Crickets chirping ]

I stood in the yard for a long time,

looking at the moon and thinking

about mom and dad and the receipts,

about those astronauts,

about how things in a life can get lost

without any certainty of finding them again.

I said a little prayer for all of us.

I was prepared for the worst...

tears, rage,

a family in shambles.

[ Norma laughs ] Or...

[ Jack and Norma laugh ]

That's when you went to Omaha.

Do you remember the plane fare?

150 bucks.

I couldn't believe it.

I'd never seen them quite so close...

What's so funny?-...Like they didn't have a care in the world.

But watching them together, loving each other,

re-creating the past year from memory,

I felt a bond,

a promise that things would work out.

So, where'd you go today?

Well, first I went by the post office

to see if anyone had turned in the receipts.

Ah.

Then I stopped by a church.

Said a prayer for the astronauts.

Uhhuh.

And suddenly, a lot of things made sense.

So, how many days were you in that hotel in Omaha?

- Three days. - Three days. What, at about $30?

30 bucks a day.

As I looked at that blank page,

I knew that whatever I wrote would be a lie

or, at best, a wild guess.

It didn't matter.

Whatever life lay ahead of me...

a life of hope, of possibility, of uncertainty...

I felt sure I knew what it would take to survive.

I guess what I'm saying is...

For the first time, I understood

that some things are bigger than death and taxes...

Like family...

Like faith.

I could only hope Miss Stebbins would understand, too.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Mom?

Hmm?

Do you think the astronauts will get home?

I don't know, Kevin.