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00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:06,282
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
2
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:11,521
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:17,460
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
4
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:21,164
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
5
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:25,368
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
6
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:26,836
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,906
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
8
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,378
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
9
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:40,806
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
10
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:49,492
-♪ HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY ♪
11
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,826
♪ ALTHOUGH YOU'RE WITH... ♪
12
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,595
-WHEN PAUL AND I
WERE LITTLE KIDS,
13
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:56,466
WE HAD OUR BIRTHDAYS
ONLY FOUR DAYS APART.
14
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,468
COME TO THINK OF IT, WE
STILL HAVE OUR BIRTHDAYS
15
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,236
ONLY FOUR DAYS APART.
16
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,572
BUT I GUESS BIRTHDAYS
AREN'T AS BIG A PART OF LIFE
17
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,307
AS THEY USED TO BE.
18
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,776
-♪ WOULD FIND ME BESIDE YOU ♪
19
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,947
-MAN, WE HAD SOME
CLASSIC PARTIES.
20
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:15,518
YEAR AFTER YEAR, WE REACHED
FOR MANHOOD TOGETHER.
21
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,722
-♪ BABY ♪
22
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:25,895
-♪ NO, I CAN'T CALL
YOU MY BABY ♪
23
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,964
♪ SEEMS LIKE YEARS AGO... ♪
24
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,134
-WHEN WE FELL SHORT,
WE FELL SHORT TOGETHER.
25
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,369
GOD...
26
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:34,804
WE COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OLDER.
27
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:39,975
-♪ ...WE FELL IN LOVE ♪
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-SO, WHAT THE HELL'S A
BAR MITZVAH, ANYWAYS?
29
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,849
-IT'S A CEREMONY WHEN
YOU BECOME A MAN, STUPID.
30
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,684
-A MAN? PFEIFFER? HA HA!
31
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,819
THAT'S GOT TO BE THE FUNNIEST
THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
32
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,120
STEVE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS?
33
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,555
PFEIFFER'S ABOUT
TO BECOME A MAN.
34
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,823
-WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT?
35
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,925
-YOU'RE NOT A MAN UNTIL
YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY.
36
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,894
-THAT'S RIGHT, SO I'D SAY
YOU GUYS ARE LITTLE BOYS
37
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UNTIL YOU'RE AT LEAST 45.
38
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,531
-OH, I THINK THAT'S OPTIMISTIC.
39
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,933
-WELL, I MEAN, IF
YOU'RE ACTUALLY
40
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,801
TALKING ABOUT HAVING
SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON.
41
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,370
-OH, SHUT UP, WAYNE!
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.
42
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,872
-YEAH, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.
43
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,973
-JEALOUS? WHY?
BECAUSE YOU GET TO WEAR
44
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,276
ONE OF THOSE LITTLE
BEANIES ON YOUR HEAD?
45
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,711
-IT'S CALLED A YARMULKE!
46
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,814
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT
HAPPENS TO BE A VERY BIG DEAL!
47
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,049
I GET TO STAND UP IN FRONT
48
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,683
OF ALL MY FRIENDS
AND MY WHOLE FAMILY
49
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,819
AND SAY PRAYERS AND MAKE
THIS BIG SPEECH AND STUFF.
50
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,521
-A SPEECH? A SPEECH?!
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00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,257
WELL, NOW I'M JEALOUS.
NOW I'M JEALOUS.
52
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,294
AND THEN WE HAVE
THIS HUGE PARTY.
53
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,896
-OH, I'VE HEARD OF
THOSE PFEIFFER PARTIES.
54
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,030
-VERY HOT. VERY HOT.
55
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,631
-CATERED, WITH ALL
YOU CAN EAT AND DRINK.
56
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,832
-OOH.
57
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,000
-AND HUNDREDS OF GUESTS
58
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,269
AND ALL THE GIRLS
I WANT TO INVITE.
59
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:40,670
-MAKE SURE YOU KEEP
'EM ON A LEASH, NOW.
60
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:41,938
-AND A BAND.
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00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,406
-A LIVE BAND?
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00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,908
-AND TONS OF PRESENTS.
63
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,176
WELL, IF YOU FIGURE
A HUNDRED PEOPLE...
64
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,878
AND THEY EACH BRING ONE...
65
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,681
-YOU'RE REALLY GONNA
GET A HUNDRED PRESENTS?
66
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,017
-YEAH, OF COURSE, AND THAT'S
NOT INCLUDING THE MONEY.
67
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,685
-LIKE HOW MUCH MONEY?
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00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,920
-IT'S NO SET
AMOUNT, BUT I'D SAY...
69
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,756
MM, MAYBE A THOUSAND BUCKS.
70
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,591
-DID HE SAY...
71
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,459
A THOUSAND BUCKS?
72
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,862
-YOU GOT TO BE CRAZY.
I'M NOT GONNA PAY THAT.
73
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,563
WELL, LET ME TALK
TO THE MECHANIC.
74
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:09,232
YEAH, YEAH. I'LL HOLD.
75
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,901
-SO, WHAT ARE YOU AND PAUL GONNA
DO FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR?
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00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,503
-NOTHING, I GUESS.
77
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,505
PAUL'S HAVING HIS BAR MITZVAH.
78
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,908
-IT'S NOT THAT I WAS
JEALOUS OF PAUL.
79
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,110
IT'S NOT THAT I WAS
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.
80
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,611
IT'S JUST...
81
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,648
MAYBE THERE WAS A MINIBIKE
IN THIS FOR ME SOMEWHERE.
82
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,684
-THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.
83
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,653
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY?
84
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,187
-I DON'T KNOW.
85
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,155
-WELL, IT HAS TO BE
SOMETHING GOOD.
86
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,124
YOU'RE TURNING
13. IT'S A BIG ONE.
87
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:38,128
-I GUESS.
88
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,830
-JUST NOT THE SAME
WITHOUT PAUL, HUH?
89
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,498
-EITHER THAT, OR IT'S
JUST NOT THE SAME
90
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,335
WITHOUT A HUNDRED
PRESENTS AND A LIVE BAND...
91
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,537
-AWW, HONEY.
92
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,839
-OKAY. GOOD, GOOD.
93
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,942
YOU GOT HER RIGHT
WHERE YOU WANT HER.
94
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,810
NOW HIT HER WITH THE TRUMP CARD.
95
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:57,680
-WELL, I'M NOT SURE I EVEN
WANT TO DO ANYTHING THIS YEAR.
96
00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,049
-THE MARTYR ROUTINE.
97
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,652
-I MEAN, UNLESS SOME...
98
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,888
-$500?!
99
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,056
SINCE WHEN DOES AN
ALTERNATOR COST $500?
100
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,225
WELL, WHAT THE HELL
DOES THE TRANSMISSION
101
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,460
HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?
102
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:13,162
-LIKE I WAS SAYING,
UNLESS WE COULD DO LIKE...
103
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,331
-LOOK, JUST DON'T
TOUCH MY CAR, ALL RIGHT?
104
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,567
LEAVE IT JUST LIKE YOU FOUND IT!
105
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,669
I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
106
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,171
BETTER GRAB YOUR COAT.
107
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:25,008
I'LL NEED A RIDE
DOWN TO THE GARAGE.
108
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,609
DON'T WORRY, HON.
109
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,579
-WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING
FUN FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
110
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,148
RIGHT, JACK?
- YEAH, HOW ABOUT WE GET KEVIN
111
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,252
A BRAND-NEW ALTERNATOR
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?
112
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,722
-HAVE SOME MORE CHICKEN, KEVIN.
113
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,056
I MADE IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
114
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,427
-THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHY
IT'S CALLED CHICKEN KIEV-IN.
115
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,933
-DINNER AT THE PFEIFFERS'. IT
WAS ALWAYS AN EXPERIENCE.
116
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,000
-OKAY, KEVIN...
117
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,801
WHAT'S THAT SAY?
118
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,504
-ALVIN PFEIFFER, OPTOMETRIST.
119
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,842
I THINK I WAS THE ONLY PERSON
HE KNEW WITH 20/20 VISION.
120
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,143
HE LOVED ME.
121
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,212
- "KETCHUP."
- INCREDIBLE.
122
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,847
WHAT A KID, HUH? WHAT A KID!
123
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,716
-AL, LEAVE HIM
ALONE. HE'S EATING.
124
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,084
SOME MORE POTATOES, KEVIN?
125
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:11,221
-IDA PFEIFFER, MOM
EXTRAORDINAIRE.
126
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:13,356
I THINK I WAS THE
ONLY PERSON SHE KNEW
127
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,625
WHO REALLY LIKED HER
SCALLOPED POTATOES.
128
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,893
SHE LOVED ME.
129
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,494
-DEBBIE, DON'T SLOUCH.
130
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,463
AND GET YOUR ELBOWS
OFF THE TABLE, PLEASE.
131
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,098
I JUST PUT THAT DOWN FRESH.
132
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,967
-DEBBIE PFEIFFER,
PAUL'S LITTLE SISTER.
133
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,369
THE ONLY GIRL I EVER KNEW
134
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:30,640
TO WHOM I WAS HER CONCEPT
OF THE IDEAL MALE FORM.
135
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,208
SHE REALLY LOVED ME.
136
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,844
UH, GREAT CHICKEN,
MRS. PFEIFFER.
137
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,212
-CHICKEN.
138
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,914
THAT REMINDS ME OF A STORY.
139
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,918
-AND GRANDPA PFEIFFER.
140
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,620
HE HAD A THOUSAND STORIES,
141
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,954
AND I WAS THE ONLY PERSON
142
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,490
WHO HADN'T HEARD THEM
ALL A THOUSAND TIMES.
143
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,793
AND SO, OF COURSE...
144
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,328
-KEVIN, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...
145
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,230
- HE LOVED ME.
146
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,232
- LIKE MY GRANDSON
TO YOUR RIGHT,
147
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,101
I, TOO, HAD A BAR MITZVAH.
148
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:02,171
COUSIN HESHY, COUSIN
MOSHE, AND MYSELF.
149
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,007
AND WE WERE VERY POOR,
150
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,444
SO ALL THESE FANCY-SHMANCY
GIFTS THAT YOU KIDS GET TODAY...
151
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,480
THEY WEREN'T AROUND.
152
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,415
SO, DO YOU KNOW
153
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,551
WHAT I GOT FOR MY BAR MITZVAH,
154
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,087
MY ENTRANCE INTO MANHOOD?
155
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,722
-A CHICKEN!
156
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,424
-THAT'S RIGHT! A CHICKEN!
157
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,560
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH,
158
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,462
BUT IN THOSE DAYS
IT WAS LIKE GOLD.
159
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,664
SO, I TOOK THIS CHICKEN,
160
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,200
AND I PUT HIM ON SOME
HAY OUTSIDE THE SHUL.
161
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,737
AND THEN I STARTED ON MY BARUCH.
162
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:37,306
I WAS VERY, VERY
NERVOUS, LET ME TELL YOU.
163
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,942
SWEAT POURING FROM
EVERY PART OF MY BODY.
164
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,077
-OH, DAD. DAD. DAD!
165
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,680
-I WAS STANDING UP
THERE, DOING MY THING.
166
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:47,684
IN WALKS THE CHICKEN.
167
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,520
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BIMA.
168
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:54,357
SITS DOWN, STARTS TO CLUCK.
169
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:57,860
AND OUT POPS AN EGG!
170
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,428
-YOU MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY MAD.
171
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,998
-MAD? NO, NO, NO.
172
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,400
I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE MAD.
173
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:08,604
IT WAS MY BAR MITZVAH GIFT,
AND AS MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID...
174
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,941
-NEVER LOOK A GIFT
CHICKEN IN THE MOUTH!
175
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,878
-MY FAMILY IS SO WEIRD.
176
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:19,048
-OH, THIS IS A GREAT OCCASION.
177
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,950
MY FAMILY IS HERE,
178
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,819
MY GRANDSON'S FRIEND IS HERE.
179
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,121
SO, PAUL, TELL ME...
180
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,155
-YEAH?
181
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,024
- YOU STUDIED HARD?
182
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,025
-YEAH.
183
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,593
-YOU KNOW ALL YOUR PRAYERS?
184
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,950
-MM-HMM.
185
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,933
-THEN, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
186
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,234
-I WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE.
187
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:42,794
MONEY? STOCK
OPTIONS? HIS OWN CAR?
188
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,379
-THE PRAYER BOOK THAT I
USED TO DELIVER MY BARUCH...
189
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:54,717
ON THAT FATEFUL
NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN.
190
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:58,721
MY GRANDFATHER GAVE IT TO ME.
191
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,556
AND TONIGHT...
192
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,582
I WISH TO GIVE IT TO YOU.
193
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,463
-WOW!
194
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,800
-POP, HE'LL GET
STAINS ALL OVER IT.
195
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,603
CAN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL WE
CLEAR THE TABLE AT LEAST?
196
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,372
-NO, IT CANNOT.
197
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,630
MY GRANDSON...
198
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:25,548
YOU ARE ON THE VERGE
OF BECOMING A MAN.
199
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:30,452
YOU ARE ABOUT TO
INHERIT THE LOVE, THE JOY...
200
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:32,021
THE BITTERNESS OF OUR PEOPLE,
201
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,478
THE TRADITION.
202
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,830
FROM MY GRANDFATHER,
TO MY FATHER...
203
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,332
TO ME...
204
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,434
TO MY SON...
205
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,326
AND NOW TO YOU.
206
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:55,178
MAZEL TOV.
207
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,013
-MAZEL TOV.
208
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,848
-MAZEL TOV.
209
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,718
-2,000 BUCKS FOR A '66 IMPALA?
210
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,241
THAT'S A JOKE.
211
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,892
-MAYBE IT WAS THE GLOW OF
THE HALF-GLASS OF MANISCHEWITZ,
212
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,662
BUT I FELT A SUDDEN
RUSH OF FAMILY PRIDE.
213
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,431
I MEAN, MY FAMILY HAD
A RICH TRADITION, TOO.
214
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:18,167
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS
FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS.
215
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,535
-DAD?
216
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,736
-HMM?
217
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,104
-WHERE'S GRANDPA ARNOLD FROM?
218
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:26,142
-LOOK AT THAT. HIGHWAY ROBBERY.
219
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,443
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
220
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,246
-I SAID, UM, WHERE DID
GRANDPA ARNOLD COME FROM?
221
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,681
-NEWARK.
222
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,182
YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THESE DAYS I'M JUST GONNA
223
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:36,652
GET RID OF THE DAMN CARS AND
WE'LL ALL TAKE THE DAMN BUS.
224
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,989
-WELL, LIKE I WAS SAYING...
225
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,056
-MOM?
226
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,258
-YEAH?
227
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,527
-I WAS JUST THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING.
228
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,794
-MM-HMM?
229
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,531
-OH. I-I DON'T KNOW.
230
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:52,101
SEE, UM, I WAS OVER AT PAUL'S
HOUSE TONIGHT FOR DINNER.
231
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,871
AND, SEE, GRANDPA PFEIFFER
WAS TELLING ALL THESE STORIES
232
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,539
ABOUT HIS BAR MITZVAH
233
00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,142
AND WHEN HE LIVED IN
RUSSIA AND EVERYTHING,
234
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,112
AND, UM, I STARTED
THINKING ABOUT OUR FAMILY,
235
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,813
AND I W...
236
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,215
IS IT SOME KIND OF LAW
237
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,183
THAT THEY HAVE TO RUN
THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
238
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,252
AT CRITICAL MOMENTS OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT?!
239
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,587
-MOM?!
240
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,022
YEAH?
241
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:17,126
-I-I WAS JUST ASKING YOU ABOUT
WHERE OUR FAMILY CAME FROM.
242
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,862
I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE?
243
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,264
-WHAT ARE WE?
244
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,934
-YEAH, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, PAUL'S JEWISH,
245
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,803
AND WINNIE'S IRISH,
SO, WHAT ARE WE?
246
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:30,105
-OH, WELL, GOSH, KEVIN,
247
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,107
THAT'S KIND OF HARD TO...
248
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,676
WELL, LET ME... LET ME SEE.
249
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,944
JACK'S MOTHER IS ITALIAN.
250
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,813
WELL, ACTUALLY,
SHE'S HALF-ITALIAN
251
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,280
'CAUSE HER MOTHER'S ROMANIAN.
252
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:42,084
AND THEN, HIS FATHER'S
POLISH. PRETTY SURE ABOUT THAT.
253
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:45,420
THEN, MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER
CAME OVER FROM SCANDINAVIA.
254
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,156
HE CAME OVER A LONG TIME AGO
255
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,091
AND MARRIED MY
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER,
256
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,593
WHOSE PARENTS WERE WELSH.
257
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,428
BUT, OF COURSE,
SHE GREW UP IN OHIO
258
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,030
BEFORE THEY MOVED TO DETROIT.
259
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,198
-AND AS MY MOTHER TRIED
TO PUT TOGETHER THE STRANDS
260
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,068
OF OUR OLD AND
FADED FAMILY TREE,
261
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,604
I CAME TO REALIZE WHAT
SO MANY AMERICANS DO
262
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,138
IN SEARCH OF THEIR ROOTS...
263
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,840
-OR WAS IT NORWAY?
264
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:08,110
- I WAS A MUTT.
265
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,579
-SO, THE INVITATIONS
ARE GOING OUT TODAY!
266
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,615
OH, YEAH. I FORGOT.
267
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,016
I HAVE ONE FOR YOU.
268
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,852
SPECIAL DELIVERY!
- THANKS.
269
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,621
-THERE'S GONNA BE SO MANY BABES
AT THIS THING YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
270
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:19,955
I'M INVITING SANDY McCLOUSKEY,
271
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,391
JODIE HART, AND
CHRISTINE CAPONE.
272
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,775
AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THE
BAND PLAYS PLENTY OF SLOW SONGS.
273
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,162
-AHEM!
274
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,866
"PLEASE SHARE OUR JOY,
AS OUR SON, PAUL JOSHUA,
275
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,491
IS CALLED TO THE TORAH
ON SATURDAY, MARCH EIGHT..."
276
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,508
WAIT A MINUTE.
277
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,108
IT'S ON THE 18th?
278
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:43,501
-WELL, YEAH, I THOUGHT
YOU KNEW THAT.
279
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,405
-YEAH, BUT...
THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
280
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,152
-YEAH, I KNOW, BUT...
281
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,088
-Y-Y-YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME IT WAS ON THE 18th.
282
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:55,158
-YES, I DID. IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE ON THE FIRST SATURDAY
283
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,325
AFTER I TURN 13.
284
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,559
-I TOLD YOU THAT.
285
00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,262
-YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE...
286
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,098
-I DIDN'T PICK FOR IT TO BE
ON THAT DAY OR ANYTHING.
287
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,700
IT'S JUST THAT'S WHEN
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.
288
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,868
-I-I KNOW.
289
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,037
-I MEAN, I'D CHANGE
IT IF I COULD,
290
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,907
BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
IT'S, LIKE, REALLY IMPORTANT.
291
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,042
IT'S LIKE... IT'S
LIKE TRADITION.
292
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,780
-YOU'RE NOT MAD, ARE YOU?
293
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:20,783
-WELL... NO, I'M NOT MAD.
294
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:24,386
IT'S JUST I-I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO COME, IS ALL.
295
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,755
-YOU'RE NOT?
296
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,224
-WELL, NO.
297
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,827
I MEAN, MY PARENTS HAVE
THIS WHOLE, BIG, HUGE THING
298
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,284
PLANNED FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
299
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,366
-NOT EVEN FOR THE CEREMONY?
300
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,668
-WELL, PAUL, I CAN'T HELP IT
301
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,137
IF YOU'RE HAVING YOUR STUPID
BAR MITZVAH ON MY BIRTHDAY!
302
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,072
I MEAN, I'M REALLY
SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS,
303
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,377
BUT YOU'RE NOT THE CENTER
OF THE WHOLE STUPID WORLD!
304
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,884
-♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪
305
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,809
♪ TO ME ♪
306
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,449
-WRENCH.
307
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,199
NO, NOT THE CRESCENT.
THE THREE-QUARTER.
308
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,071
- HERE.
- KEVIN, HONEY?
309
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,439
PAUL'S ON THE PHONE. AGAIN.
310
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,941
-JUST TELL HIM I'M BUSY!
311
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,409
-IT'S THE THIRD TIME HE CALLED.
312
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,911
-WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO HIM.
313
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,080
I'M HELPING DAD!
314
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:28,350
-I GUESS THE OLD GUY MUST HAVE
SENSED SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
315
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,585
GO AHEAD, DAD, ASK.
316
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,287
"I HAVEN'T SEEN
PAUL AROUND LATELY.
317
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,089
YOU TWO HAVING A
FIGHT OR SOMETHING?"
318
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,223
-SCREWDRIVER.
319
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,359
-OKAY, SO HE DIDN'T SENSE IT.
320
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:39,628
I MEAN, WHAT DID I EXPECT?
THE MAN WASN'T A MIND-READER.
321
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,664
I'D JUST TELL HIM WHAT
WAS BOTHERING ME.
322
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,032
-WE AREN'T REALLY TALKING
TO EACH OTHER THESE DAYS.
323
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,135
- HUH?
- PAUL AND ME.
324
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,736
WE AREN'T REALLY
TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
325
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,404
-OH.
326
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:52,341
-SO, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA BE
GOING TO HIS STUPID BAR MITZVAH.
327
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,876
-YOU DON'T SAY...
328
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,212
-IT'S ON THE SAME
DAY AS MY BIRTHDAY.
329
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,181
MY 13th BIRTHDAY.
330
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,948
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
331
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:02,417
I MEAN, THE WHOLE
POINT OF A BAR MITZVAH
332
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,052
IS SO DUMB, ANYWAYS.
333
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:05,855
I MEAN, HE'S ONLY 13 YEARS OLD,
334
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,190
AND EVERYONE'S TELLING
HIM THAT HE'S A MAN.
335
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,126
AND THAT'S REALLY STUPID.
336
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,261
I MEAN, HE'S JUST A LITTLE
KID, DON'T YOU THINK?
337
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:14,630
DAD?
338
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,598
HUH?
339
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:18,662
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S PRETTY STUPID.
340
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,072
-DAD?
341
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,274
-HUH?
342
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,077
-WHEN DID YOU FIRST
LEARN TO WORK ON CARS?
343
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,478
-I DON'T KNOW.
344
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,680
IT'S JUST SOMETHING I PICKED
UP ALONG THE WAY, I GUESS.
345
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,251
-WAS GRANDPA GOOD
AT WORKING ON CARS?
346
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:39,710
-OH, SURE. I GUESS I
LEARNED MOSTLY FROM HIM.
347
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,951
-THE FAN BELT
LOOKS A LITTLE LOOSE.
348
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,798
-HUH?
349
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,333
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
350
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,934
IT'S HALF-ROTTEN.
351
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,937
I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T
THINK TO CHECK THAT.
352
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,673
HEY, LOOK, THERE'S A EXTRA
FAN BELT IN THE TOOLBOX.
353
00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,443
WHY DON'T YOU HELP
ME TRY TO PUT IT ON?
354
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,201
-OKAY!
355
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:08,084
-AS I WORKED ON THE
CAR WITH MY FATHER,
356
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,454
I BEGAN TO REALIZE WHAT I'D
BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG.
357
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,722
I JUST NEEDED RECOGNITION,
358
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:17,226
SOMETHING TO TELL ME
THAT I WAS GROWING UP.
359
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,296
- GO AHEAD. ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
360
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,798
-THAT'S GOOD. HEY, WAYNE!
361
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,466
GET OUT HERE AND START THE CAR!
362
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,934
-I-I CAN DO IT!
363
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,504
-NO, I DON'T THINK SO, KEV.
YOU'RE NOT TALL ENOUGH.
364
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,873
HERE, START IT UP NICE AND EASY.
- YES, I AM!
365
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,677
-STEP ASIDE, LITTLE SPROUT.
366
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,245
-DON'T GIVE IT TOO
MUCH GAS TILL I TELL YOU.
367
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,547
I DON'T WANT TO
FLOOD THE ENGINE.
368
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,884
-THE STORY OF MY
12-AND-THREE-QUARTER-YEAR-OLD LIFE.
369
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,586
AS MUCH A MAN AS THE NEXT GUY
370
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,287
UNTIL THE CARDS
WERE ON THE TABLE.
371
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,155
THEN IT'S A FINE
"HOW DO YOU DO,"
372
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:48,490
A "PAT HIM ON THE HEAD," AND...
373
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,426
-DAMN IT, KEVIN! GET THE
HELL AWAY FROM THAT ENGINE!
374
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,960
THAT THING WILL
TAKE YOUR HAND OFF!
375
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,587
-NOT ANYMORE.
376
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:08,477
-♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KEVIN ♪
377
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,179
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪
378
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:15,351
-♪ AND YOU SMELL
LIKE ONE, TOO, YAY ♪
379
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,853
-WELL, MY ENTRANCE
INTO THE TEEN YEARS.
380
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,821
THE BIG 1-3.
381
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,191
COULD IT GET ANY
SWEETER THAN THIS?
382
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,726
-DARN! YOUR DAD WANTED
TO HAVE THE CAR BACK IN TIME
383
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,163
FOR THE PARTY SO WE COULD
ALL GO FOR A RIDE AFTER.
384
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:31,266
-YEP... PAUL GETS A BAND
AND A THOUSAND BUCKS...
385
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:35,037
AND I GET A RIDE IN AN
IMPALA WITH A NEW FUEL PUMP.
386
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,973
-WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST
START? HE'LL BE ALONG.
387
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,310
-HERE. OPEN MINE FIRST.
388
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,847
-A POEM.
389
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,883
-HERE. I'LL READ IT OUT LOUD.
390
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,085
IT'S CALLED "THE PAIN OF YOUTH."
391
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,655
THE PAIN OF YOUTH...
392
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,857
ALL ITS SLINGS AND ARROWS...
393
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,292
STANDS BREATHLESS, FACING TIME.
394
00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:00,496
EDGING ITS WAY TO
THE RIM OF THE NEST.
395
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,232
HE IS PUSHED, LEFT TO FALL.
396
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:05,500
FALL.
397
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,335
FALL TO THE EARTH.
398
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,639
AND BREAK, WRITHING IN PAIN.
399
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,175
OOPS!
400
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,568
THAT'S MY RIDE. I GOT TO
GO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEV.
401
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,683
-WHY DON'T YOU OPEN THE
REST OF YOUR PRESENTS?
402
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,119
-YEAH, PRESENTS.
403
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,588
WHO NEEDED A RITE OF PASSAGE?
404
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,556
WHO NEEDED A FATHER'S SUPPORT?
405
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,325
I HAD...
406
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,859
-A TURTLENECK.
407
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,361
A BATHROBE.
408
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,762
A WALLET.
409
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,232
- AND FINALLY...
- A THESAURUS.
410
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,600
-WELL, I JUST THOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE
WRITING A TERM PAPER OR SOMETHING,
411
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,469
AND YOU WANTED TO SAY
SOMETHING IS "GOOD," FOR EXAMPLE,
412
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,437
WELL, THEN YOU
JUST TURN TO "GOOD"
413
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,306
AND YOU CAN SAY "CONSIDERATE,"
414
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,541
"UNBLEMISHED," OR "PURE."
415
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:50,946
-ANY SYNONYMS FOR "EXTREMELY
DISAPPOINTED" IN THERE?
416
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,195
-♪ AMEN ♪
417
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,717
-♪ YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY,
I GOT LOVE IN MY TUMMY ♪
418
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,708
♪ AND I FEEL LIKE
I'M LOVIN' YOU ♪
419
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,456
♪ LOVE, YOU'RE
SUCH A SWEET THING ♪
420
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,858
♪ GOOD-ENOUGH-TO-EAT THING ♪
421
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:20,162
♪ AND THAT'S JUST
WHAT I'M GONNA DO ♪
422
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:23,465
♪ OOH, LOVE TO HOLD
YA, OOH, LOVE TO KISS YA ♪
423
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:28,837
♪ OOH, LOVE, I LOVE IT SO ♪
424
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,574
♪ OOH, LOVE, YOU'RE SWEETER,
SWEETER THAN SUGAR ♪
425
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,609
-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
426
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,944
-♪ I WON'T LET YOU GO ♪
427
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,146
-HI!
428
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,348
-HI.
429
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,582
-THANKS FOR COMING.
430
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,751
-SORRY I WAS SO LATE.
431
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,019
-THAT'S OKAY.
432
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,055
I FELT LIKE SUCH
A JERK UP THERE.
433
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,223
-NO. YOU WERE GOOD.
434
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,625
YOU HAD THIS BIG THING
HANGING FROM YOUR NOSE,
435
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:52,794
BUT YOU WERE GOOD.
- STOP IT, BUTTHEAD.
436
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,129
HEY, PAUL!
437
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,764
COME ON OVER HERE!
COME ON. DANCE NOW.
438
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,099
- COME ON!
- WHAT?
439
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,267
-JUST COME ON!
440
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:21,590
-AND SO IT TURNED OUT TO BE
A GREAT BIRTHDAY AFTER ALL.
441
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,859
I SLOW-DANCED WITH
PAUL'S AUNT SELMA.
442
00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:28,296
I ATE MORE THAN MRS. PFEIFFER
COULD HAVE DREAMED POSSIBLE.
443
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:32,200
AND IN A FUNNY WAY,
WHEN I LOOK BACK ON IT,
444
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:36,560
I SORT OF FEEL LIKE IT
WAS MY BAR MITZVAH, TOO.
445
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:59,215
-♪ TIME IT WAS, AND WHAT
A TIME IT WAS, IT WAS ♪
446
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:04,299
♪ A TIME OF INNOCENCE ♪
447
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:09,604
♪ A TIME OF CONFIDENCES ♪
448
00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:13,308
♪ LONG AGO, IT MUST BE ♪
449
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:16,711
♪ I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPH ♪
450
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:19,781
♪ PRESERVE YOUR MEMORIES ♪
451
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:23,474
♪ THEY'RE ALL THAT'S LEFT YOU ♪
32900
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