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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,209
Whoa! For once I come in here
and something smells good.
2
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,479
It's Beverly Rose's
first day of kindergarten.
3
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,514
I wanted to do
something special,
4
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,683
so I'm making her
Cap'n Crunch pancakes
5
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,052
with whipped cream
and strawberries on top.
6
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,253
Good idea.
7
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:21,155
Get her jacked up on sugar here
8
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,956
then hand her off
to her teacher.
9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,528
Where's the pack
of frozen strawberries?
10
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,898
Oh, I was using it
as a cold pack in bed
11
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,866
for my sore shoulder.
12
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,070
If you need a cold pack,
use the frozen broccoli!
13
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,872
That's the only reason
we buy it.
14
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,342
I don't like having broccoli
that close to my mouth,
15
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,476
but okay.
16
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,747
So, the big day is finally here.
17
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,916
I have a little present
for Beverly Rose.
18
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,454
Oh, my gosh. You're giving her
a pencil case.
19
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,157
Yeah. It's my old one. See?
It says, "Trust no one."
20
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,594
Wow. You looking
to hit on the teacher?
21
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,263
'Cause that
car-wash perfume says,
22
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,931
"Buy me a sandwich
and I'm yours."
23
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:08,969
No. I just want to make
a good impression on him.
24
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,304
And if he's rich and single
25
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,306
and only teaching
to ease his guilt
26
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:15,042
about the money, that's a bonus.
27
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,444
Okay.
So you're sucking up.
28
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,879
You know that sends a message
to your kid, right?
29
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,982
There is nothing wrong with
trying to be the teacher's pet.
30
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,718
You gotta work the system
to succeed.
31
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,563
Is that why you always
dressed like your teacher
32
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,556
when you were a kid?
33
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,659
First of all, I look great
in knit separates.
34
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,926
And it worked.
35
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,563
She loved me so much,
I doubled my wardrobe
36
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,532
after her husband left her
and her new love became pie.
37
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,569
When's Beverly Rose coming up?
38
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,304
I'm here to document
the big day.
39
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,273
Aww! That's so sweet!
Yeah.
40
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,008
I want her to have good memories
of her first day of school.
41
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,144
My mom said
I was too plain to like,
42
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,246
so she told me
to put on a skirt,
43
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,148
climb up to the top
of the jungle gym,
44
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,816
and, that way,
at least I'd be popular
45
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,951
with the boys on the bottom.
46
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,287
But it didn't work,
47
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,355
so she made sure
I had a wad of dollar bills
48
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:04,792
I could pass out
so the boys would talk to me.
49
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,960
So it was like the opposite
of being a striper.
50
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,663
You showed them your underwear
and gave them money.
51
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,332
You are correct!
52
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,336
I'm putting a note
in Beverly Rose's lunch.
53
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,604
Aww.
54
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,006
I made sandwich
in the shape of a heart.
55
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,008
Tell me if this is too much.
56
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,312
"When you eat this,
57
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,980
my heart will be
in your tummy all day."
58
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,487
You know, I knew this would be
59
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,389
a really emotional morning
for you...
60
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,226
...so I cleared
my schedule
61
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,661
so I could ride with you
to school for support.
62
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,130
You're just trying
to co-opt my moment.
63
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,665
I'm prepared for today.
64
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,137
Oh, my God!
You're really going?!
65
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,474
I'm not gonna see you till noon!
66
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,476
I knew this would happen.
67
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,581
So, just off the top of my head,
you want a ride?
68
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,915
Yeah.
69
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,703
Captions by VITA...
70
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,211
Ooh! Man.
71
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,354
Gah! Unh!
72
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:41,789
Aah! Unh!
73
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,261
You know, they sell
ketchup in stores.
74
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,630
You don't have to make your own.
75
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,764
Don't make fun of the guy
76
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,200
holding the skillet.
77
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,568
I'm almost old enough
to kill you
78
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,405
and not care about
doing the time.
79
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,148
But you'd have to kill me
with your left hand,
80
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,875
which I don't think you can do.
81
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,412
So, I see your bursitis
is still acting up.
82
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,480
It'll be fine.
Fine?
83
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,115
A tomato just beat you
84
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:11,118
in a fight, old man.
85
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,253
You know, I might be able
to help you out there.
86
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,823
I've had some training in Reiki,
87
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,492
and they say that I have
healing powers.
88
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,733
You're not gonna touch me,
are you?
89
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,501
No, no. I'll just...
90
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,438
My hands will just hover
over the area where it hurts,
91
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,274
and then I'll use my energy
to remove the blockage
92
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,345
and so the healing
can take place naturally.
93
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,313
Okay, but no touching!
No, no.
94
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,515
No, you just close your eyes
and try and relax.
95
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,317
Alright.
96
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:47,154
Now, my hands are just
applying the vibration.
97
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:52,092
Right there. Okay. So...
98
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,761
Here we go. Hm.
99
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,700
Fbpht!
100
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,271
Fbpht!
101
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,507
Wow! Whoa!
102
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,311
Anything?
No.
103
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,946
No?
Allow it in, Dan.
104
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,048
I'm allowing it, Jackie!
105
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,486
Skepticism is
the barrier to health.
106
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,153
Alright.
107
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:23,491
So... I'm just
gonna have to extend
108
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,860
the frequency of my energy
and dig a little deeper.
109
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,304
You're not gonna
touch me though, right?
110
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,564
No, you big baby.
I'm not gonna touch you.
111
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:31,832
Hey, guys.
112
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,834
Ow! You touched me!
113
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,536
What are you freaks doing?!
114
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,338
Your grandfather is suffering
from severe bursitis
115
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,974
in his shoulder,
and I'm just trying to heal him.
116
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,152
I don't know why you boomers
are waving your hands around
117
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,679
when you could just
smoke some weed.
118
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,716
I do it every morning to
loosen up before I exercise.
119
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,250
Then I don't end up exercising
120
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,252
and I just watch TikToks
of people falling down.
121
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,187
But I still feel great.
122
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,689
He doesn't need more drugs.
123
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:59,527
No, his old veins, they can
barely transport the blood.
124
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,095
And knock it off
with the old-guy stuff.
125
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,764
I used to smoke weed
in high school
126
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,700
when I hurt myself
playing football.
127
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,769
I kinda forgot about it
'cause I used to smoke weed
128
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,038
in high school when I hurt
myself playing football.
129
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,606
Yeah. That was then.
130
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,742
Now you drink like a fish.
You eat like crap.
131
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,510
You don't need to throw
any more trash
132
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,947
onto that landfill
you call a body.
133
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,749
Well, the weed today
isn't trash.
134
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,417
You can walk into a dispensary
135
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,252
and get carefully
cultivated stuff.
136
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,254
It might help your pain,
Grandpa.
137
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,458
We're going to the weed store.
138
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,692
Jackie:
Oh, great. Yeah.
139
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,527
I'm going with ya.
'Cause you're gonna need
140
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,464
somebody from the streets
who can speak the lingo.
141
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,867
Oh, that'd be nice,
but I think Snoop Dogg's busy
142
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,436
making cupcakes
with Martha Stewart.
143
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,640
I was talking about me.
144
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,276
You haven't even taken a toke
of the jazz cabbage,
145
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,945
you can't follow
a simple conversation.
146
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,817
Okay, Littles,
now, what is this shape?
147
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,151
Triangle.
148
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,753
Thank you, Beverly Rose.
149
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,589
And this is a...
150
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,657
Rectangle.
151
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,326
She's kind of a chip
off the old block.
152
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,328
Don't let the spaghetti stains
fool you.
153
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,297
Honors Society.
Three years running.
154
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,966
Massive underachiever.
155
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,167
And I really hope we can hear
156
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,336
from some of the other kids
tomorrow.
157
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,906
Clean-up time!
158
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,609
Beverly Rose's mom,
can I speak to you for a second?
159
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,344
I know what you're gonna say.
160
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,346
Beverly Rose does seem to be
161
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,948
mopping the floors
with these kids.
162
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,250
But it's not a contest.
163
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,952
She's clearly very bright.
164
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,921
I know.
And vocal.
165
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,255
Maybe too vocal.
166
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,624
I'm sorry?
167
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,458
This is supposed to be
a time for the Littles
168
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,595
to not only learn,
but to gain some self-esteem.
169
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:45,165
But Beverly Rose isn't giving
any of the other kids a chance.
170
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,800
She only feels free to talk
171
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,469
because you have created
such a safe environment.
172
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,972
And that is a testament
to your teaching.
173
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,541
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
174
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,309
Teacher of the Year.
175
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,845
Unfortunately, I've had to move
176
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:01,682
Beverly Rose's clothespin
from green to yellow.
177
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:05,786
Whether or not they turn it
around is all about the parent.
178
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,956
Oh. Wow. Okay.
179
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,824
Well, you are looking
at a parent
180
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:14,027
who is great
at turning things around.
181
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,496
By the way,
love the knit separates.
182
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,537
I am so proud of you
183
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:26,206
for having such a good
first day of school.
184
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,675
I answered all the questions.
185
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,176
Yes, you did.
186
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,679
And that's what
we're gonna talk about.
187
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,014
Even if you know
all the answers,
188
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,750
it might be nice to give
the other kids a chance.
189
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,986
But it takes so long
for them to answer.
190
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,888
And then they do it wrong!
191
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,992
Well, it's okay to be wrong.
192
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,328
They can't help it
if they're not as smart as you.
193
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,798
That's what I told them
so they wouldn't feel bad.
194
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,570
If you don't let
the other kids answer,
195
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,839
your clothespin
is gonna stay on yellow.
196
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,041
And we don't want that.
197
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:04,011
You are a green clothespin
daughter.
198
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,546
And I am a green clothespin
mommy!
199
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,383
Okay.
200
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,420
Okay. I gotta get back
to The Lunch Box.
201
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,688
Which is evidently
202
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,057
what a green clothespin
gets you in life.
203
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,228
I have boobs and blond hair,
and that just kills you.
204
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,467
Did you ever get a yellow
clothespin?
205
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,112
Uh, well, I passed through
yellow...
206
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,104
...on my way
to permanent red.
207
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,576
Does it bother you that
you got a yellow clothespin?
208
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,445
I guess so.
209
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,913
But...?
210
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,149
I like knowing all the answers.
211
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,117
Well, then you keep answering.
212
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,687
And if somebody tells you
to stop, you do it louder.
213
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,859
Look, I love your mom
like a sister, but...
214
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,264
...the clothespin thing
is just a scam.
215
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,800
I mean, you don't feel like
you did anything wrong, do you?
216
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,835
No, but when I say
too many answers,
217
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,304
I don't get to go
to the prize bucket.
218
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,507
Well, the prize
is knowing that you rock
219
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,744
and those other kids are losers.
220
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:14,081
Now, speaking of losers,
221
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,916
you want to sit in on a meeting
222
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,886
of a bunch of really pathetic
green-clothespin people?
223
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:23,223
Oh!
I wasn't muted.
224
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,930
Whoa.
Look at all this.
225
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,066
It's like Seth Rogen
and Willy Wonka had a baby.
226
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,370
Kinda sad.
It's so corporate.
227
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,140
There was something sweet
about buying drugs in the park.
228
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,644
- Can I help you?
- Easy, slick!
229
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,513
He may look like
a decrepit old fool,
230
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,850
but he's got me with him,
'cause he is.
231
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,219
I just need something for pain.
232
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,554
The pain of living
in an unjust world
233
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,989
where the planet's burning up
234
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,825
and we're losing our rights
to fascist rule?
235
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,193
Or, like, a hurt foot?
236
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,297
The foot one, but it's
in my shoulder. Yeah.
237
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,166
I used to smoke a little
in high school.
238
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,336
Oh, yeah, we both did.
A couple of hop heads, yeah.
239
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,904
And I tell you,
we didn't get our grass
240
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,706
from some doobie warehouse
like you softies.
241
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,507
We had to go to the other side
of the tracks
242
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,909
to see the doodah man!
243
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,314
I've tried a lot of stuff
with CBD in it,
244
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,516
and it just doesn't seem
to be helping.
245
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,918
You're a pretty big guy.
246
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,592
I think you can handle
some strong flower.
247
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,156
This is Nightmare.
248
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,992
It's, uh, very high in THC.
249
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,761
Or there's this one.
250
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,962
It's called Brain Bleed.
251
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,766
It's strong, but you can
play tennis on it.
252
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,536
I just need something where
I can't feel my shoulder.
253
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,705
This one's called
I Can't Feel My Face, but...
254
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,351
...it'll probably work
on the shoulder.
255
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,576
Do you want gummies or flower?
256
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,078
Candy!
257
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,013
Okay.
That will be $40.
258
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,381
Holy crap.
40 bucks.
259
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,349
Don't you have a barrel
where he can just bag
260
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,285
a couple of loose ones?
261
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,753
Sorry, ma'am.
This isn't taffy,
262
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:03,090
and this isn't Coney Island
in the '30s.
263
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,892
Listen, Harry Pothead.
264
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,129
I've destroyed
more opportunities with drugs
265
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,898
than you'll ever hope to.
266
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,938
Oh, dude, you gotta be high.
267
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,420
Beverly Rose, go downstairs
and wash your hands
268
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,714
and I'll make you a snack, okay?
269
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,082
We need to talk.
270
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,819
Alright. Fine.
Hang on. I'm at work.
271
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,655
I agree with what Anne said.
272
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,294
Go.
273
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,896
When I picked up Beverly Rose,
274
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,397
her teacher said that she was
275
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,267
twice as aggressive
as she was yesterday.
276
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,402
"Aggressive" or "assertive"?
277
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,271
'Cause there's a big difference.
278
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,606
Before, she was just answering
all the questions.
279
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,776
Now she's actively calling
out the kids for being dumb.
280
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,614
And when her teacher threatened
to give her a red clothespin,
281
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,050
she said it was a scam!
282
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,520
Well, that is very perceptive
for a 5-year-old,
283
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,756
and you should be proud.
284
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,358
You told her that!
285
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,426
She asked me if I ever got
a yellow clothespin.
286
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,328
And she asked me 'cause
she didn't understand
287
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,297
why she was in trouble
for being smart.
288
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,932
All I told her
was to be herself.
289
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,367
It was none of your business.
290
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,768
You should have
stayed out of it.
291
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,137
Well, Beverly Rose shouldn't
have to hide her light.
292
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,939
You want her playing stupid
all her life
293
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,540
just so people like her?
294
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,677
It's not playing stupid.
It's being strategic.
295
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,280
Angry little ball-busters
who alienate everybody
296
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,049
don't get rewarded
in school, Darlene.
297
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,852
Uh, they made me
crossing guard, Becky!
298
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,689
Yeah, on the most
dangerous street
299
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,925
the farthest away
from the school!
300
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,829
Don't you wonder why they never
gave you the reflective vest?
301
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,101
They told me
they ran out of them!
302
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,007
Asking Beverly Rose not
to answer is wrong, Becky.
303
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,009
No, it's not.
She needs to learn
304
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,044
how to get along with people
in the real world.
305
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,479
Get along or know her place?
306
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,648
I cannot believe
you didn't defend her.
307
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,526
You know, Mom had her problems,
but she would have
308
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,752
gone down there and ripped
that teacher's head off.
309
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,888
Yeah, and then you're the kid
with the crazy mom.
310
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,090
How'd you like that?
311
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,993
Well, I wanted to crawl into
a hole while she was doing it,
312
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,229
but it made me feel protected
and more confident,
313
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,231
and that made me stronger.
314
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,109
You have to think about what
kind of person you're teaching
315
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,867
Beverly Rose to become.
316
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:31,404
Yeah, you want her to be less
like me and more like you,
317
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,373
and that's
the last thing I want.
318
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,009
Oh, really? You think it's
better for her to be like you?
319
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,011
You were so anxious to please
320
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,613
that you gave up your education
and your family
321
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,516
so that you could move
with Mark to Minnesota!
322
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,219
Wow. You have nothing else
to say to me.
323
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,487
Get out of my face!
324
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,358
You know, maybe if you were
easier to get along with,
325
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,393
they wouldn't make you
work at home!
326
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,630
They don't make me!
It's my option!
327
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,307
- What's going on?
- Nothin'.
328
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:12,812
Okay. How many gummies
did you take?
329
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,114
I don't know.
330
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:17,150
I took one, and it didn't work,
331
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,585
so I took a second one.
332
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,387
Then the first one kicked in,
333
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,455
then I got hungry
and I took a third one.
334
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,593
Don't ever take the third one.
335
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,261
Okay.
336
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,073
You're gonna sit down
on the couch right here,
337
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,965
and everything's gonna be fine.
338
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,700
I can't walk.
Huh?
339
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,636
My feet are on the wrong feet.
340
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,907
You mean they're not your feet?
341
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,610
No. What's wrong with you?
Of course they're my feet!
342
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,079
They're on the wrong legs! They
don't want to walk together!
343
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,523
Okay, well,
I can help you with that.
344
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,349
I can just switch them back.
345
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,485
They're all back! Okay?
346
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,821
Now let's go...
347
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,189
Go over to the couch.
348
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,629
Lie down.
349
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,831
Ohh. Ahh.
How long were we walking?
350
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,344
For like an hour, right?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
351
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,370
Oh, God. You guys
got the edibles, huh?
352
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,704
Yeah.
353
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,341
It's not candy, children!
Get him some carbs!
354
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,876
Yeah.
Hey.
355
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,811
Uh, let's put something
on the TV for you, yeah?
356
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,248
Something soothing and familiar.
357
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,685
Go back.
Go back to the first one.
358
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,220
That's the screen saver.
359
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,289
Stay there.
360
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,024
Okay.
Don't tell me how it ends.
361
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,563
And which one of my Littles
knows what animal this is?
362
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,730
A dog.
363
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,732
Good try.
364
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,568
Look at the picture.
Read the word.
365
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,569
What does it say?
366
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,736
Dog.
367
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,110
Okay, everyone. Good job.
See you tomorrow.
368
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,081
Hey, sweetie.
How was your day?
369
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,349
We've got a green
clothespin now.
370
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,917
That's great!
371
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,652
I didn't talk all day,
372
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:03,056
and the teacher said
that was a good thing.
373
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,757
Wait.
You didn't talk at all?
374
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:08,895
No, even when I knew all
the answers, like you said.
375
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,064
It was really hard.
376
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,832
And now the teacher likes me,
377
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,002
and I got a yo-yo
from the prize bucket.
378
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,038
Well, there's
a Pavlovian nightmare.
379
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:22,008
Honey, wait for me
in the hall, okay?
380
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,743
Oh, hi, Becky!
381
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,546
All my Littles got to talk today
and it was a much better day.
382
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,183
Beverly Rose participated
in a non-disruptive way.
383
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,851
What do you mean "participated"?
384
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,087
She just sat there
shut down all day.
385
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,290
Oh, no. She was a very lively
listener and observer today.
386
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,426
Good job, Mom!
387
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,194
Is that what we're
raising here...
388
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,231
Girls who are good little
listeners and observers?
389
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,100
You're also teaching her that
if she shows how smart she is,
390
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,068
she'll get punished!
391
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,871
She's learning from you right
now that she should be a woman
392
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,141
who keeps quiet
in the board meeting
393
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,876
even if the CEO
is calling a cat a dog!
394
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,411
And I'll tell you another thing.
395
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,213
I don't give a damn
whether you think
396
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,215
I'm a good mom or not.
397
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,252
My kid will decide that
with her therapist in 20 years.
398
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:10,923
But right now she is going
to answer whenever she wants,
399
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,293
and you will deal with it.
400
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,494
Oh, my God.
401
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,364
I just realized you're
one of those Conners.
402
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,134
I remember your mom coming
into my third-grade class
403
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,769
and losing it on the teacher
404
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,273
because your sister Darlene
got a "D" on her diorama.
405
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,775
She said, "How could
she get a 'D' on it
406
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,612
when Becky got an 'A' on it
when she turned it in?"
407
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,249
Oh, yeah, you're right.
You just got Conner-ed!
408
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,084
And the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree,
409
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,353
so buckle up, buttercup!
410
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,592
Hey.
How ya feeling?
411
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,160
Well, the pain's back.
412
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,361
Maybe I gotta face the fact
413
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:52,865
that at my age
pains just don't go away.
414
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,035
You really just didn't know
that you're old?
415
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,339
No, when I wake up
in the morning
416
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:02,642
I'm still the same guy playing
football in high school.
417
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,311
Then when I try
to get out of bed,
418
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,721
there's a lot of
rocking and screaming
419
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,348
until I get the momentum
to stand on my feet.
420
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,016
It's a shame because
it sounds like
421
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,451
the weed worked for the pain.
422
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,320
You could pick a strain
that's not too strong
423
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,654
and grow it yourself.
424
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,156
You already own a water bed.
It's the next logical step.
425
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,392
And I'd save 40 bucks a week.
426
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,394
Well, you could grow it
in your closet.
427
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,863
I'll show you how.
428
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,234
Yes, I could move all my tuxedos
and cashmere driving coats
429
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,869
to the washing machine
in the driveway.
430
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,805
Okay.
Let's do it.
431
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,508
Would ya like to grow drugs
with your old grandpa?
432
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,078
Aw, shucks, Grandpa.
That'd be swell.
433
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,614
Hee-hee-hee!
434
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,418
Go ahead and eat that
in the kitchen, hon.
435
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,555
But don't let Grandpa see it,
or the clogged artery monster
436
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,323
will come and get him
in the night!
437
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,725
Okay.
438
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,503
Ice-cream cone right
before dinner?
439
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,695
Bad day, Mom?
440
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,697
Horrible.
441
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,132
I found out Darlene
was right about something.
442
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,237
And now I'm putting down
my phone.
443
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,574
You had a point.
444
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,277
I didn't listen.
445
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,012
I was so anxious
to please the teacher,
446
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,048
I made Beverly Rose
scared to talk.
447
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,884
Oh, well, you don't
have to apologize.
448
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,886
I didn't apologize.
I said you were right.
449
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,567
Well, I shouldn't have
gotten involved.
450
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,426
You know what I think
you both learned?
451
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,529
Is that Beverly Rose
shouldn't be you or you.
452
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,931
She'll figure out who
she's supposed to be... me.
453
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,069
Yeah, if you strip away all
the layers of self-loathing.
454
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,707
And the crazy that
chills you to the bone,
455
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,974
you have...
456
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,576
A shirt and a haircut
that belong
457
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,545
on a sculpture in New Mexico?
458
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,615
Fbpht!
459
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,450
Fbpht!
460
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,393
Grandpa, I brought you
an ice-cream sandwich.
461
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,995
I want to see the clogged
artery monster come and get you.
462
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,597
Where did you hear that?
463
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,500
Mommy, Aunt Jackie,
Aunt Darlene.
464
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,602
Were they planning something?
465
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,170
Because if they were
hoping to see
466
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,573
the term life insurance monster,
467
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,809
I transformed him into
a mortgage payment monster
468
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,078
and a new sewer line!
469
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,448
And now
I'm a new kind of monster.
470
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,916
Give me that ice-cream sandwich!
471
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,118
And you're awful sweet.
I'm gonna eat you up, too!
35141
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