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All language subtitles for Taxi - 2x01 - Louie and the Nice Girl

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,734 --> 00:00:07,767 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,834 Zena's here to fill the candy machine. 3 00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,501 Hi, gang! 4 00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,000 I got it, man! I'm in! 5 00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,133 ( shouting ) 6 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,567 I got here for the first time. 7 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:32,000 Can you believe this? 8 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,801 A bunch of adults fighting over a candy bar. 9 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,234 Hold that thought, Bobby, she's brought malted balls. 10 00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,400 Oh, yeah? 11 00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,801 Bobby, seniority, seniority... 12 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,367 No, wait, I'm second. 13 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,300 Hey, Zena, how you doing? 14 00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:44,467 Terrific, thanks. 15 00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:45,734 Hey, Tony-- 16 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:47,801 here's that organic shampoo I was telling you about. 17 00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:49,968 Oh, thanks, Zena. What do I owe you? 18 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,767 First one is free. Then after I get you hooked... 19 00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:54,467 You know, Zena, my kids just love 20 00:01:54,501 --> 00:01:56,133 those puppets you made for them. 21 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:57,167 Thanks again, really. 22 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,400 Oh, that's okay. Bobby, you know, I went to see 23 00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,667 that O'Neill revival you were telling me about. 24 00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,100 Oh, yeah? What did you think? 25 00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,567 I thought that the only thing that could 26 00:02:04,601 --> 00:02:05,834 have made it better was you in it. 27 00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:08,667 Oh, you noticed that, too, huh? 28 00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,300 Out of the way, out of the way! 29 00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:12,501 No! Hey! No! 30 00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:15,434 Out of the way or I'll call you last for a cab. 31 00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,567 Oh! Oh! 32 00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:26,067 It's so easy. 33 00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:32,000 Whoo! 34 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:35,534 The first Baby Ruth. 35 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,400 M-m-m-mm! 36 00:02:45,801 --> 00:02:49,534 Why does the first one always taste the best? 37 00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:51,133 How should we know? 38 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:53,534 You always eat the first one. 39 00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,000 Oh, silly me. 40 00:02:56,033 --> 00:03:01,334 You may now resume fighting over the stale ones. 41 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:04,133 Well, it's something. 42 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,400 Oh, hey, Zena? 43 00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:08,133 Have you got change for a dollar because...? 44 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,167 Zena? Hey! 45 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,300 Oh, sorry. 46 00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,701 Boy, he's really something, isn't he? 47 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,067 Louie? 48 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,834 Hoo! There's an exterminator who wants him to pose 49 00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:20,834 for the side of his truck. 50 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,467 He must take a lot of ribbing from you drivers. 51 00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,400 Yeah, none of it's good-natured. 52 00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,033 Now, I guess that's natural 53 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,200 making fun of the boss. 54 00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:31,901 Bet you don't even notice how cute he is. 55 00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:32,901 Louie? 56 00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:34,000 Yeah. 57 00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:35,434 Louie?! 58 00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:36,868 Yeah! 59 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,901 I don't know, maybe it's me. 60 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,834 Maybe I just get turned on by powerful men. 61 00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:45,200 Louie!? 62 00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:49,367 Yeah. You know, all these weeks watching him up there 63 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,067 keeping this huge operation humming. 64 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,501 Boy, if I wasn't so shy, I'd... 65 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,467 Uh, you'd what? 66 00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:58,601 Oh, Elaine... 67 00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:00,868 would you introduce me to him? 68 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,267 Louie? 69 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:06,234 Oh, Zena, um, that's not a good idea. 70 00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:07,267 Why not? 71 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,067 It's a bad idea. 72 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,934 Oh, I see what you're trying to say. 73 00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,033 Yeah. 74 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,868 You want him for yourself. 75 00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:16,767 ( screams ) 76 00:04:16,801 --> 00:04:18,200 Hey, what happened? 77 00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:20,767 Zena says I want Louie for myself. 78 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:21,868 ( screams ) 79 00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:23,033 What are you talking about? 80 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,434 Then I take it you don't. 81 00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:25,534 No! Then there's no problem. 82 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:26,734 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 83 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,968 What's the problem there isn't one of? 84 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,734 Zena wants to meet Louie. 85 00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:32,534 I could never do it on my own. 86 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:34,434 I need somebody to introduce me. 87 00:04:35,834 --> 00:04:37,501 I'm trying to save her from herself, but... 88 00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,267 I mean, I got nothing to worry about, right? 89 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,767 I mean, who in this garage is going to introduce her to Louie? 90 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:45,801 Elaine, damn it, she's an adult. You don't lead people's lives. 91 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:49,133 Hey, Zena, I'll introduce you to Louie. 92 00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,767 What would you like me to say? 93 00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,133 Say you think we'd like each other. 94 00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,334 Okay. 95 00:04:57,501 --> 00:04:59,067 You're going to say that? 96 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,634 That's what she wants me to say, and that's what I'm going to say. 97 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,100 Come on, Zena. 98 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,734 Stay close by me. 99 00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:07,667 He's not in a cage for nothing. 100 00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:10,834 All right, listen up here, everybody! 101 00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:12,334 New rule here, 102 00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:13,467 new rule. 103 00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:17,801 Yes, we do take out cabs with bald tires. 104 00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,033 We do. 105 00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:23,567 Hey, uh, Louie... Louie? 106 00:05:23,601 --> 00:05:24,667 What? 107 00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:26,534 Louie, I'd like you to meet Zena Sherman. 108 00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,501 Zena, Louie DePalma. 109 00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,434 Zena wanted to meet you. 110 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,434 Oh, yeah? 111 00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:33,701 Yeah. 112 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,834 I think maybe you'll, uh... like each other. 113 00:05:40,234 --> 00:05:42,000 Oh. 114 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,901 How do you do? 115 00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,234 Hi. 116 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,033 All right, if you'll excuse me now, 117 00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,334 I'll leave you two alone. 118 00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,567 I have to get some bald tires on the road. 119 00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,033 I like your goodies. 120 00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:11,667 How long you been in this sweets field? 121 00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:13,200 Almost a year now. 122 00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:17,334 You do it very well. 123 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,834 Um... my cousin is getting married tomorrow night. 124 00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:30,400 Would you like to go to the wedding? 125 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:31,868 It's a free dinner. 126 00:06:31,901 --> 00:06:33,267 Thank you. 127 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,534 I'd really like to. 128 00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:37,000 Swell. 129 00:06:37,033 --> 00:06:41,968 Uh, oh, and it is a wedding, so dress up a little, okay? 130 00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,100 What are you looking at me for? 131 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,033 She wanted me to introduce her, 132 00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,334 so I introduced her. 133 00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:00,834 So, what's the big deal? 134 00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:02,033 It's just one date. 135 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,534 What's the worst thing that can happen? 136 00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:05,934 She could have his baby. 137 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,033 ( screams ) 138 00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:14,934 Ooh! 139 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,701 Sorry I'm late... 140 00:07:16,734 --> 00:07:18,267 ( chortles ) 141 00:07:20,234 --> 00:07:23,534 but Zena and I had another one of those nights. 142 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,767 I didn't even have time to change. 143 00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:28,734 You'll have to excuse my attire. 144 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,767 She ripped the shirt off my back. 145 00:07:32,434 --> 00:07:34,901 But I guess when you're burning 146 00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:36,767 the candle at both ends 147 00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:41,567 for five weeks straight, you're going to have to pay the price. 148 00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:43,000 Give me three cards, all right? 149 00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:45,667 He's driving me crazy. 150 00:07:45,701 --> 00:07:48,934 There's only one consolation in this whole sordid affair. 151 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:49,767 Yeah, what's that? 152 00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,734 I didn't introduce them. 153 00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:55,634 All right, now remember our agreement: 154 00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,467 Nobody asks him nothing. 155 00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:58,901 ALEX: Right. 156 00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:00,901 I don't know how much longer 157 00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,367 I can keep this up. 158 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,634 I'm only human, I mean. 159 00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,300 ( chortles ) 160 00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:09,601 How much pleasure can one man endure? 161 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:16,000 Isn't anybody the least bit curious 162 00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:19,334 as to why I didn't have time to change this morning 163 00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:20,934 or yesterday, 164 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,133 or the day before, ad infinitum? 165 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,167 What do you got, what do you got? 166 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,367 I got nothing. 167 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,000 Alex, I thought at least you would be interested 168 00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:32,868 in the intimate details. 169 00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:35,434 After all, you are kind of responsible. 170 00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:36,567 ( chortles ) 171 00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:38,934 I don't want you to do that anymore. 172 00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:39,934 Do what? 173 00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:42,133 ( mimics chortling ) 174 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,367 I don't do that. 175 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,000 Yes, you do, you do it almost continuously. 176 00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:47,334 I don't! 177 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,901 Yes, you do. You do it every time you mention Zena. 178 00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:51,000 ( chortles ) 179 00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:52,934 You just did it. 180 00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:54,167 I did? Really? 181 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,701 I don't even know 182 00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:56,868 I'm doing it. 183 00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,567 I'll tell you what: 184 00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:00,701 The next time I do it, hold up your hand. 185 00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,167 Look, I don't have to hold up my hand. 186 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,501 You do it every time you mention her name! 187 00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:06,067 You're crazy! 188 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,467 Zena. 189 00:09:08,634 --> 00:09:11,100 ( chortles ) 190 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,300 I don't even realize I'm doing it. 191 00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,567 But I'll tell you one thing, Rieger, 192 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:18,767 you'd be hee-hee-heeing, too, if you were having 193 00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,901 experiences with a woman like... 194 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,801 Go away. 195 00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:27,067 I got to tell somebody. 196 00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:35,734 I don't even let people I like touch my hair. 197 00:09:42,534 --> 00:09:47,934 Whisper in my ear and you'll be whispering for life. 198 00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:13,100 Nah! 199 00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,734 Hey, Louie, they want you upstairs. 200 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:18,067 Okeydoke. 201 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,067 Listen, Zena is going to be in any minute now. 202 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,534 Tell her that I'm going to pick her up 203 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,067 tonight at 8:00 sharp. 204 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,367 We're going to go out to dinner. 205 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:33,000 At least, we're going to try to go out to dinner. 206 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,367 That's what I say every night. 207 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,634 * Macho, macho man 208 00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:42,667 * I've got to be a macho man 209 00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,667 * I'm a macho man... 210 00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:48,901 I'll tell you, I just can't understand Zena. 211 00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,634 You know what my theory is? 212 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:53,868 My theory is that, since she's not a stupid person 213 00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:57,701 she must see some quality in Louie that we've always missed. 214 00:10:57,734 --> 00:11:00,167 Yeah, my theory is that Louie must have 215 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,367 some redeeming virtue that we've always overlooked. 216 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,701 My theory is, Zena is nuts. 217 00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,267 That makes more sense. 218 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,501 Hi, everybody! 219 00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:12,667 Hey, Zena, how you doing? Oh, hi, Zena. 220 00:11:12,701 --> 00:11:16,167 Hey, Alex, could I talk to you for a minute, alone? 221 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,300 Yeah, sure. 222 00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,267 Hey, would you guys...? 223 00:11:21,601 --> 00:11:22,968 Okay, shoot. 224 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,300 I know I'm imposing, but I hoped you wouldn't mind. 225 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,167 I mean, you did bring Louie and me together. 226 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,234 I have a feeling when I die, they'll put that on my stone. 227 00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,367 Yeah? 228 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,234 Uh, it's kind of personal. 229 00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:40,267 It embarrasses me to talk about it. 230 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,667 Well... 231 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,200 All right, we've been seeing each other for five weeks, 232 00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:47,734 and, uh, being normal, healthy adults 233 00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:51,133 it's natural we'd have some physical involvement. 234 00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,834 Yeah. 235 00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,334 So why haven't we? 236 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,901 I mean, you know Louie. 237 00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:00,267 What is it? 238 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300 Why won't he touch me? 239 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:10,100 You mean he hasn't touched you? 240 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,434 I can't even get him to hold my hand. 241 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:17,667 ( stifled laughter ) 242 00:12:19,734 --> 00:12:22,634 Gee, Zena, that's too bad. 243 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,601 ( stifled hysterical laughter ) 244 00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,467 Good evening, everybody. 245 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:43,634 ( chuckles ) 246 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:46,634 Sorry I can't join you, but I got a hot date tonight. 247 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,501 ( imitates sizzling ) 248 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,801 Well, maybe I'll stick around for just one. 249 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,133 Tommy? 250 00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,200 Yeah-- beer? 251 00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:54,968 Yeah, beer. 252 00:12:58,267 --> 00:12:59,501 Thanks. You're welcome. 253 00:12:59,534 --> 00:13:02,334 Zena doesn't expect me for another half hour, 254 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,300 and I like to be a little late 255 00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:06,701 so she's really chomping at the bit. 256 00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:07,801 ( chortles ) 257 00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:08,834 Uh, Louie... 258 00:13:08,868 --> 00:13:11,133 I know. I did it on purpose. 259 00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:13,467 Boy, oh boy, I finally found 260 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,067 a girl who can keep up with me. 261 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,734 Ugh! Jeez! 262 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,801 She's jealous! 263 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,167 ( chuckles ) 264 00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:28,434 Louie, Zena and I had a long talk today 265 00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,400 about things that happened 266 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:33,200 and about things that didn't happen. 267 00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:35,567 You did? 268 00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:37,767 Uh, excuse us. 269 00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,534 Alex has this problem. 270 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:42,167 It'll be okay. Don't worry, relax. You... 271 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,300 She's lying. 272 00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:44,667 Yeah? Why would she lie? 273 00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:46,400 I don't know-- she just is. 274 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,133 Alex, it's me against her. 275 00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:51,167 How do you know I'm lying? 276 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,467 Oh, yeah. 277 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,467 All right, Louie, it's over. 278 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,801 No more talk about Zena, you understand? 279 00:13:57,834 --> 00:14:00,067 Alex, Alex, I don't want you to leave with the wrong idea. 280 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,334 Let me explain. Now look, Louie, 281 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,067 I heard enough out of you today, all right? 282 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,067 Alex! 283 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,467 I got to open up to someone. 284 00:14:05,501 --> 00:14:08,467 You're the only one I almost can stomach. 285 00:14:08,501 --> 00:14:09,901 Aah, come on. 286 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,634 Alex, if you won't do it out of compassion-- 287 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,467 out of pure humanity-- 288 00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,033 would you do it for money? 289 00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:22,334 You want to pay me to listen? 290 00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:23,868 I want you to do for me 291 00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:26,267 what you do for Bobby and Tony and the other guys. 292 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,701 Well, I am a little short this week. 293 00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:31,701 Well, all right... 294 00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,367 Great! How much you want? 295 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,334 Well, that depends on what you have to say. 296 00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,267 Sit down. 297 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,300 All right. 298 00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:40,868 All right, here it is. 299 00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:42,067 Here's the truth. 300 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,167 It's her fault. 301 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,067 20 bucks. 302 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,834 20 dollars? Are you crazy? For "her fault"?! 303 00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:48,934 20 bucks. 304 00:14:48,968 --> 00:14:50,567 ( groans ) 305 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,334 You see, it's because she's... 306 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,267 I mean, how do I put this? 307 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:08,567 Alex... she's my first. 308 00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:11,033 Oh, come on, Louie, she's not your first. 309 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,968 Everybody knows that when you were driving a cab 310 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,167 and tourists wanted to find out where the women were, 311 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,400 you didn't tell them, you took them. 312 00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:22,601 And whenever possible, you joined them. 313 00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:25,300 Hold on, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 314 00:15:25,334 --> 00:15:27,634 I've had my share of women, and then some, 315 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,434 and I've always left them happy. 316 00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:31,367 I can't tell you how many told me, 317 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,501 "Louie, this is crazy, I should pay you!" 318 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,167 That'll be another ten. 319 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,601 That's fair. 320 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:49,801 Look, you see, my thing with Zena is different. 321 00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:53,234 I mean, it's the first time I ever had a girl 322 00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:57,000 who calls me to find out if I got home all right. 323 00:15:58,033 --> 00:16:00,000 The first one 324 00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,033 to just take a walk with me. 325 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:08,167 The first one to surprise me with little gifts. 326 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,300 She's the first girl that ever did this to me. 327 00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:16,501 Don't do that. 328 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:17,968 I had to show you. 329 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,200 You haven't got enough money in your pocket for that one. 330 00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:28,400 Alex, what I'm trying to tell you 331 00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:31,100 is that Zena is the first girl 332 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:34,200 I've ever been out with... who... 333 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,701 ...the first girl I've ever been out with twice. 334 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:47,467 Oh, Zena's not your first girl, she's your first nice girl. 335 00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:50,334 Yeah! And I can't handle it! 336 00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:53,100 I mean, I was brought up 337 00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:55,400 believing that there was nice girls 338 00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:57,167 and girls you had fun with 339 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,534 and there was no mixing of the two. 340 00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:03,367 I like Zena... 341 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,234 I really do. 342 00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:08,734 But I can't even bring myself to kiss her. 343 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,534 Well, there's only one thing you can do, Louie: 344 00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,801 Break up with this lovely, warm person 345 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:16,200 who obviously feels a great deal for you 346 00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:18,067 and spend the rest of your life 347 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,200 floating through meaningless affairs 348 00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:22,801 with cheap strangers who you'll have to pay 349 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:26,567 to satisfy your disgusting physical lust. 350 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,133 Great advice. 351 00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,834 ( knocking at door ) 352 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:43,534 Coming! 353 00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:47,667 Hi, I'm almost ready. 354 00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:49,501 I got you some flowers. 355 00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:50,734 Thanks. 356 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:51,968 I threw them away. 357 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,100 Why? 358 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,334 Because that's the kind of guy I am. 359 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,100 We're not going out tonight. 360 00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,267 Why not? 361 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,100 Because that's the kind of night this is. 362 00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,434 I think you better sit down. 363 00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:02,567 You look tired, Louie. 364 00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:04,267 Want me to rub your feet? 365 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,300 No. 366 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,567 Your shoulders? No. 367 00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:09,200 That little vein in your head? 368 00:18:09,234 --> 00:18:10,601 No rubbing. 369 00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:13,434 I... I got something to say. 370 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,467 Sounds serious. 371 00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:15,501 What is it? 372 00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:19,601 Zena, I'm going to be straight with you. 373 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,200 We're splitting up. Good-bye. 374 00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:27,601 Why? 375 00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:31,701 You really want to drag this out, don't you? 376 00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,767 I just want to know why. 377 00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:36,200 Why! 378 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,400 There's someone else. 379 00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:43,434 Oh, I see. 380 00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:45,701 Who? 381 00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,501 ( mutters ): Who? 382 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,501 Donna Summer. 383 00:18:57,033 --> 00:18:58,868 We had a little spat before I met you. 384 00:18:58,901 --> 00:19:01,334 I couldn't take the pressure of the racial thing. 385 00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:04,434 And besides, she's always shaking it in front of other guys. 386 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,167 It got to me. 387 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,234 I told her, "I don't want you moaning on records anymore." 388 00:19:09,267 --> 00:19:11,167 This morning she gave me a call, we... 389 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,667 Stop it, Louie. Just don't make up stories. 390 00:19:14,701 --> 00:19:17,868 I think I deserve better than that. 391 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,667 I know what it is. 392 00:19:36,734 --> 00:19:38,701 You think I'm too good for you. 393 00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,667 Nah, you crazy? 394 00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:44,567 It's just that you're too good, period. 395 00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:51,534 I'm used to another kind of woman. 396 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,267 You're so nice. 397 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:58,501 I can't ever even think of... 398 00:19:58,534 --> 00:20:02,601 relating to you in a nonverbal manner. 399 00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:08,634 Oh, I see. 400 00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:16,367 Louie, you know, when people like each other a lot 401 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,400 they should be able to work things out. 402 00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:21,767 I'm willing to try. 403 00:20:23,334 --> 00:20:25,234 I'm nuts about you, Louie. 404 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,501 Well, you-you're hocking me all the time, right? 405 00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:32,667 I mean, let me ask you a question. 406 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,667 Why are you nuts about me? 407 00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,400 To tell you the truth, 408 00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:41,400 I've been asking myself that question. 409 00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:44,701 My friends have been asking me that question, my parents. 410 00:20:44,734 --> 00:20:47,334 The doorman's been asking me that question. 411 00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:51,267 I don't know what to tell them. 412 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,000 But I know what to tell you. 413 00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,767 You touch me. 414 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,701 Holy crap! 415 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:12,767 You know, all those nights 416 00:21:12,801 --> 00:21:15,834 when you left me at my doorstep 417 00:21:15,868 --> 00:21:18,767 I'd go into my bedroom and cry. 418 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,968 Take me to the place you cry. 419 00:21:49,868 --> 00:21:50,901 What's going on? 420 00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:52,667 I can't go in there, Zena! 421 00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:55,033 Oh, open it! 422 00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:57,501 No... I'm sorry. 423 00:21:57,534 --> 00:22:00,133 ( banging on door ) 424 00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:02,801 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but this is really the end. 425 00:22:02,834 --> 00:22:04,200 Okay, Louie! 426 00:22:05,667 --> 00:22:07,000 All right. 427 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:16,067 Louie, would you just do me one last favor? 428 00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:17,534 What's that? 429 00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:21,334 How about a good-bye kiss? 430 00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:31,100 Women! 431 00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:34,000 It would mean a lot to me. 432 00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,868 "It would mean a lot to me..." 433 00:22:43,901 --> 00:22:45,901 All right! 434 00:23:07,667 --> 00:23:10,000 Well, so long... 435 00:23:24,634 --> 00:23:26,667 ( moans ) 436 00:23:28,634 --> 00:23:31,834 You can go now, Louie. 437 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:34,334 That's easy for you to say. 438 00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:36,167 ( chuckles ) 439 00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:44,601 Louie? 440 00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:47,234 Yeah? 441 00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:49,267 ( chortles ) 442 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,701 ( theme music playing ) 443 00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:30,000 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 444 00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,367 ( grunts ) 30155