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Bernard.And.Huey.2017.
720p.WEBRip.x264-[YTS.AM]
2
00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:00,893
Jenna, Allie, Genevieve, Lucia,
3
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,129
Allison, Tricia, Zoe,
4
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,366
Allie.
5
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,001
No one likes my poetry.
6
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:10,536
Here's a good one for you, Bernard.
7
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Name's Irene.
8
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,339
I don't read poetry.
9
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,474
You read Bukowski.
10
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,209
He's an icon.
11
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,945
I hate the name Irene.
12
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,613
I hate everything about my life.
13
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,048
I'm not progressing.
14
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,717
Where am I gonna be in,
in 25 years?
15
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,785
Dead.
16
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:27,686
At 49?
17
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,689
I don't even exist now.
18
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,158
How can I be dead at 49?
19
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,461
I'll be a failure because no one wants me.
20
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,829
We'll all be dead, man.
21
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:37,896
Jesus, you're depressing.
22
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,231
Nuclear winter, man.
23
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,365
I'm not political.
24
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,534
It's outta your hands.
25
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,903
Don't you want to do anything
with your life, Huey?
26
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,071
Until the bomb?
27
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,339
Get laid.
28
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,640
Is that it?
29
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,242
Is that bad?
30
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:51,577
Do you get laid?
31
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,429
I think that I...
32
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,280
I am waiting to fall
in love first.
33
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,015
So who's this Irene?
34
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,351
Student.
35
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,586
Overachiever.
36
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,754
But in a good way.
37
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:06,024
Why did you write "loose cannon?"
38
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,092
Yeah.
39
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,494
You'll find out.
40
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,311
You know what I miss?
41
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,646
Is the '80s chick.
42
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,981
A certain kind.
43
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,917
Radical in the streets.
44
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,652
Experimental in bed.
45
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:38,924
So feminist she'd fuck anybody
46
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,226
and she didn't care for me any
more for me
47
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,961
than I care for her.
48
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,230
The '80s chick.
49
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,500
Mmmm.
50
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,801
You're a pig.
51
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,939
My ex-wife, Suzanne,
she was compassionate,
52
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,007
but not really.
53
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,276
Like she was compassionate
to a point.
54
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,644
Pseudo-compassionate.
55
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,946
I mean, what I mean to say is,
my ex-wife
56
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,315
was compassionate when
it suited her purposes.
57
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:06,385
More a tactic than an ethic.
58
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,490
My ex-wife's compassion
had an agenda.
59
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:17,963
But I don't need to tell you,
compassion is superficial.
60
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:21,767
Cheryl?
61
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,770
Hi.
62
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:25,938
Adorable man.
63
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:34,279
I hate you.
64
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:41,386
Yeah.
65
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,088
Yeah, I got him.
66
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,157
I told you I would.
67
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,158
The fuck kinda question is that?
68
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,461
He looks fat, and bald,
and sweaty.
69
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,697
Hey-hey-hey-hey!
70
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,466
Hey, get back!
71
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,902
Get back here,
you son of a bitch!
72
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:57,869
You fucker.
73
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,643
So, I will call you tomorrow.
74
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,211
Actually, tomorrow is
a busy day.
75
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,379
I don't pick up,
so I'll call you.
76
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,081
I'm actually gonna be
out of the office all week,
77
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:12,584
so I tell you what,
why don't I text you?
78
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,418
I'll text you.
79
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,820
I'll text you.
80
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,132
Dammit.
81
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:30,335
I start doing something
with this place tomorrow.
82
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,372
I start doing something
with this place tomorrow.
83
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,075
Hmmm.
84
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,979
She must have
forgotten something.
85
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,583
Or maybe she loves me.
86
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,954
Every 25 years, right?
87
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,455
I drop in, right?
88
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:53,759
Uh...
89
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:54,593
What are you staring at?
90
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,778
I'm...
91
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:56,962
Why are you standing there
with your finger up your ass?
92
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,597
Sorry, I think you
have the wrong apartment.
93
00:04:58,599 --> 00:04:59,598
Oh, shit!
94
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,569
You don't fuckin' know who I am.
95
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:05,737
Okay, look, I, I don't...
96
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:09,474
I can't fucking believe
this one, Bernard!
97
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,144
I shouldn't fuckin' know you!
98
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,846
That is the kind of
friends we were.
99
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,481
If anybody's gonna
forget somebody
100
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:20,452
in this fucking friendship,
it's me, you, all right?
101
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,286
Wait.
102
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,120
Huey?
103
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,221
Huey!
104
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,122
Yeah!
105
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,492
What's going on?
106
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,660
You've changed.
107
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,228
Not in a mean way.
108
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:32,531
It's good to see you!
109
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,565
It's good to see, oh...
110
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,366
Jesus!
111
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,200
Huey!
112
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,935
Hey, do you have any Black Flag?
113
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,670
Circle Jerks?
114
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,638
Minutemen?
115
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,472
Some vinyl.
116
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,305
No, I know what you're
talking about.
117
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,624
No, I do not.
118
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:43,941
Y'know, you still have
your cassettes?
119
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,477
'Cause those are comin'
back, haven't you heard?
120
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,345
No, I don't have cassettes.
121
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,713
Huey, I don't even have a bed!
122
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,580
Not for you.
123
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,681
I just have one.
124
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,582
And I...
125
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:53,418
Shit.
126
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,319
I'll tell you what.
127
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,620
I will...
128
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:56,455
Jesus, Huey!
129
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,522
I'll buy a bed!
130
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,323
What?
131
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,157
No.
132
00:05:59,159 --> 00:05:59,991
No no no.
133
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:00,826
No.
134
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,660
You don't have to buy
me furniture,
135
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,830
just because I don't have any.
136
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:05,664
Oh.
137
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,232
That's no problem.
138
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,034
Did you just move in?
139
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,703
Five years?
140
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,606
Yeah, it's a...
141
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:15,607
What?
142
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,310
It's been five years.
143
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:21,246
But there's a reason for that.
144
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,315
I'm going to get furniture.
145
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:26,284
Why do I always end
up with girls who are neurotic?
146
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,086
Oh, you dig that chick?
147
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:28,920
Where?
148
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:29,855
Some piece!
149
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,590
She's on a little magazine kick.
150
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,525
Y'know, in the
beginning, they seem so normal.
151
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:34,493
Who?
152
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,761
The girls I go out with!
153
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,562
I never know they're neurotic.
154
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,397
I love it, man!
155
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:39,331
It kills me!
156
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,682
Hey, baby!
157
00:06:40,683 --> 00:06:42,032
In the beginning, they
tell me how different I am.
158
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,070
I'm not crude and demanding
like the other men they know.
159
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,271
I dig the culture, baby.
160
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,839
I dig the scene.
161
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,875
Peace in Central America?
162
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,578
I've got a piece for you
in my Central America.
163
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,681
Smile, you phony little-magazine
tease, smile for Huey.
164
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:57,582
Huey!
165
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,485
She's hiding yawns when I'm in
the middle
166
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,888
of talking about my childhood.
167
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,322
Soon, it's all over between us,
168
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,525
with her telling me that it's
her fault.
169
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,360
Like I'm the only boy
she ever respected.
170
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,663
Shit, look at that
preppie airhead smile.
171
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,231
That skank's too fucking much.
172
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,966
I've lost a lover.
173
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,369
A potential lover,
174
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,238
and won a friend.
175
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,139
Yay.
176
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,443
Christ, what do I do wrong,
Huey?
177
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,710
Loan me a five, Bernie.
178
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,112
I got to travel.
179
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,749
Don't you ever respect girls,
Huey?
180
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:34,419
If I had any respect for
chicks, I'd never make out.
181
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,054
Dig it, man!
182
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:36,955
Uh...
183
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,692
Hey.
184
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,228
I'm Huey.
185
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,362
God!
186
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:47,499
Barnard girls, Sarah
Lawrence girls, Radcliffe.
187
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:50,402
The classier, the more
independent, the more liberated,
188
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,603
the more Jewish.
189
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,938
Oh!
190
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,606
He was my hero, and oh my God,
you should
191
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,292
see him now.
192
00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:59,977
He's fat and bald and
old and really defeated.
193
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,580
Really bad looking.
194
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,482
Really awful looking.
195
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,016
And he once smelled of prowess,
196
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,319
and now he smells like a wino.
197
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,687
And he doesn't have a
place to live,
198
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,721
but he's got a roll of bills
199
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,556
that could get you indicted.
200
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:12,691
I mean, he's camped
out of my place,
201
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,758
and clearly he needs help,
202
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,729
and I'm just thinking,
you're a shrink, and...
203
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:18,630
Oh, no.
204
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,498
Please.
205
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,499
No.
206
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,600
No.
207
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,700
Just talk to him and
give him some advice.
208
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,535
No.
209
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,370
He could be a potential suicide.
210
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:26,204
You don't know that.
211
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,672
We don't not know that,
212
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,139
and I don't want to come
home to a dead body.
213
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,843
I have too much going on.
214
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,311
Just talk to him.
215
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,719
Really awful looking.
216
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,921
He's aging terribly.
217
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:49,728
Huey?
218
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,864
Huey?
219
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,934
I guess he's asleep.
220
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,370
He doesn't sound suicidal.
221
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,437
Well...
222
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,474
In that case, as long as
we're here...
223
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:04,309
Oh, I see.
224
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,144
The old suicidal-friend gambit.
225
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:06,978
What?
226
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,146
No!
227
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,214
Coincidence.
228
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,317
Oh!
229
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,552
Oh, my God!
230
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:14,386
Oh!
231
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,888
Oh my God, I love that!
232
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,323
Yes!
233
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,658
Yes!
234
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,625
Oh!
235
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,694
Oh, you do that so well!
236
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,330
Oh.
237
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,267
You gotta be kiddin' me.
238
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,502
Yes!
239
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,740
What about your friend?
240
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,475
It's probably
best not to wake him, I guess.
241
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,944
In his condition.
242
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,779
Right.
243
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:41,613
I'm serious.
244
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:42,747
I don't know.
245
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,483
Looks like he's still breathing.
246
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:19,517
Hello?
247
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,456
He's gone!
248
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,807
Hey!
249
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,209
Hey!
250
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,912
Where did this stuff come from?
251
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,714
Some dude down the street.
252
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:50,548
Will you pour the wine?
253
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,383
What?
254
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:52,217
Oh, Huey, I don't...
255
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,485
Hey, uh, so last night.
256
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,221
What, uh, what was goin'
on up there?
257
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,422
You never made out!
258
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,323
What?
259
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,190
That's not true!
260
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,959
Don't tell me.
261
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,594
I made the scene, you
never made the scene.
262
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,428
I made the scene.
263
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,696
You were scene-adjacent.
264
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,064
Now, you're pinning
more tail than a donkey
265
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,533
at a kid's birthday party.
266
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,969
Thank you.
267
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,804
I'm duly impressed.
268
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:13,638
I'm confounded.
269
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,006
It's not implausible.
270
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,308
It's improbable.
271
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:21,246
I don't know whether to
shit or go blind.
272
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,214
It was beautiful, man.
273
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,283
I mean, I'd never seen anything
like it.
274
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,485
What this chick accomplished
is like the Versailles
275
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,287
of greeting cards.
276
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,188
Angie.
277
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,924
Village chick.
278
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,193
Oh, my God, the curves.
279
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,162
Oh...
280
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,130
But a Matisse when it came
to fucking greeting cards.
281
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:39,964
But who wants 'em?
282
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:40,999
Nobody.
283
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,234
So, no, my family's in
the printing trades.
284
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,336
My brother Marty runs the
business, right?
285
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,404
I didn't know that.
286
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,238
Oh, yeah.
287
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,106
I grew up in the
printing trades.
288
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,074
You never met Marty?
289
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:49,908
No.
290
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:50,741
Oh, he's the brains
of the operation
291
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,143
really hard worker.
292
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,145
No, wait, your wife
designed the greeting cards?
293
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,313
Well, the wife shit came later.
294
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,948
First came the success shit.
295
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,316
Like Bombshell City.
296
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,517
Like what's happening.
297
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,119
How fast can you count?
298
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,089
She makes 'em, I print
'em, and it's, like,
299
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,190
six-figure heaven.
300
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,891
I'm talking zillionaire time.
301
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,493
Stamford, Connecticut, time.
302
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:09,728
150 employees.
303
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,529
Expansion.
304
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,564
Refinancing.
305
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,132
Rolling over of moneys.
306
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,834
I have to say, in all
the years I knew you,
307
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:19,771
I never thought of you
working for a living.
308
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,272
Style!
309
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,407
The scene is what?
310
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,576
I won't lie, Fortune 500.
311
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,212
And then what?
312
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,549
I mean, her midlife crisis.
313
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,318
I'm cool.
314
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,120
But after 10 years of marriage,
315
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,322
she objects to me
fucking around?
316
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:38,990
Then she storms out on me?
317
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,226
Talk about a violation
of the wedding vows.
318
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,061
Huey, I mean, technically,
you were the first
319
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,330
to violate the wedding vows.
320
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,532
♫ She was a teenage debutante ♫
321
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,435
♫ A George F. Will sycophant ♫
322
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,669
Ahhhhh!
323
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,304
Jeez!
324
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,372
Punk rock!
325
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,144
I will take the leather
jacket and sweaters now.
326
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,879
When will the suits be ready?
327
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:01,946
10 days, sir.
328
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,181
How would you like to
pay for this?
329
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,315
Cash or credit?
330
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,884
Cash.
331
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,769
Great.
332
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,653
Where would you like it
delivered to?
333
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,922
360...
334
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,524
370.
335
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,625
West 11th.
336
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:14,726
12th.
337
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,127
Apartment 4...
338
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:17,862
N.
339
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:18,763
N, N.
340
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,901
It's on the north side
of the building.
341
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,170
A lot of light in the morning.
342
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,538
And there are no curtains.
343
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:27,438
Nope.
344
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,743
You're insulting my work?
345
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,611
You just couldn't stand to
give me anything, right?
346
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:34,612
You lost him!
347
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,446
What am I?
348
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,581
In the CIA or something?
349
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,415
It's not my responsibility!
350
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,433
I did what I could!
351
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:39,450
And then you lost him in New
York City?
352
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,052
And, of course, you
have to insult my art,
353
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,287
because it just about
keeping me down below you.
354
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,555
Of course I have to insult
your art.
355
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:44,823
You won't get out of
this penis phase, baby!
356
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,759
So what is the deal with all
the cash?
357
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,027
Just business.
358
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:49,861
Okay.
359
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,095
And what is business?
360
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,765
It's kinda like a new retail.
361
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:54,766
New retail?
362
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:55,733
Be more specific.
363
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,337
I'm just curious what you
do for a living.
364
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,138
Um...
365
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,773
What?
366
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,909
Capture an old fat man that
left us...
367
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,044
Let's go the other way.
368
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:06,878
Why?
369
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,413
What are you...
370
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,247
Wait.
371
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,315
Are you on the lam?
372
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,449
Is that what's happening?
373
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,717
Define lam.
374
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,285
Why should...
375
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,487
You know what I mean.
376
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,322
You're absurd!
377
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,740
It's your father...
378
00:14:18,741 --> 00:14:20,157
What do you care about
some old sweaty misogynist?
379
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,159
I should never have
trusted you with this.
380
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,327
You never do anything right.
381
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,528
Yes, you're right.
382
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,728
You should have hired
a private investigator
383
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,965
instead of your child,
and then made her feel
384
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,567
like an idiot for telling
the truth in her art.
385
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,401
Yes.
386
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,437
Yes, I should have.
387
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,672
I would lead with John Irving.
388
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,773
Milan Kundera.
389
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,408
Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
390
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,743
Fucking far out.
391
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,145
Tom Stoppard was hip city.
392
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,680
August Wilson.
393
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,048
Tony Kushner.
394
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,351
I would talk
Existentialism to hipsters.
395
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,185
I know.
396
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,019
You act like I wasn't there.
397
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,854
Well, I never paid.
398
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,122
Chicks always paid.
399
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,223
Didn't need money.
400
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,691
Huey, I get it.
401
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,126
What's the problem?
402
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,563
I haven't read a book
in 15 years.
403
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,831
That doesn't mean
that you can't...
404
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:00,665
Bad boy!
405
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,200
Oh, hey!
406
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,768
Now I've found you!
407
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,003
Yes, Huey, this is Stephanie.
408
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,104
And Flo and Samantha.
409
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:06,938
Hi.
410
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,805
We just flew in from L.A.
411
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,640
Nice to meet you.
412
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:09,507
My God, I need a drink.
413
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,341
Let's do that.
414
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,776
I can take care of that.
415
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:12,610
Let's go!
416
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,213
No, I don't go there anymore.
417
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,348
Oh, God, I miss London.
418
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,940
The Brits.
419
00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:21,330
But for me, you know,
that's the bottom line.
420
00:15:21,331 --> 00:15:22,720
I won't go anywhere they bust
you for bringing in drugs.
421
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,455
It's a matter of principle,
right?
422
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,257
I mean, so what does
your friend do?
423
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,091
I don't know.
424
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:27,926
Why don't you ask him?
425
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,160
You brought him, you ask him.
426
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,296
It's easier to kick
drugs than booze.
427
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,664
I think that's generational.
428
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:33,498
How old are you?
429
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,332
How old are you?
430
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,166
Huey!
431
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,000
Bangkok is ruined.
432
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:36,834
Ruined!
433
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:37,669
And Vietnam is ruined.
434
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:39,237
Ruined!
435
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,804
I mean, they get ruined
because they to Westernize.
436
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:41,639
I mean, wherever you
have capitalism,
437
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,840
you have Westernization,
438
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,842
but without capitalism,
there's no prosperity.
439
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:45,777
So then the people don't eat.
440
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,945
And of course people
have to eat...
441
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:47,779
Gotta eat...
442
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:48,947
So then they have to Westernize.
443
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,315
It's a tragic dilemma.
444
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,149
Tragic.
445
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,116
Do they let you bring in drugs?
446
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,418
Okay, I know you're gonna laugh,
447
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,053
but I still like St. Barts.
448
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:55,987
Yes.
449
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,555
The people of St. Barts
are the nicest.
450
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,389
Oh, St. Barts is ruined.
451
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,223
What?
452
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,341
St. Thomas is nicer, I think.
453
00:16:00,342 --> 00:16:01,458
I don't want to
upset anyone, but we're talking
454
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,127
about a colonial culture here,
and I feel
455
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,263
very uncomfortable in a
colonial culture.
456
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,497
The Virgin Islands
isn't colonial!
457
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,565
Well, post-colonial.
458
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,600
What does that even
mean, "post-colonial"?
459
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,552
Here's what we're gonna do.
460
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,503
Why don't we go and travel
together, and we'll see
461
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:14,339
which is the nicest?
462
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,173
St. Barts?
463
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,007
St. Thomas?
464
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,047
Nice.
465
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:28,119
Nice is overrated, and the
only island I dig is New York,
466
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,222
because it is no-frills mean.
467
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,724
Maybe you're having dinner,
you ask for
468
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:35,526
a little water, your waitress,
six times,
469
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,829
finally, you order a vodka
with water,
470
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,030
and maybe if you're lucky,
471
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,432
you'll see her next Tuesday.
472
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,067
The meanest salespeople
in the world?
473
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,135
New York City.
474
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,036
Help you?
475
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,105
They'd rather have their tongues
cut out.
476
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,224
Jesus.
477
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,342
Mean queers define
the meaning of meanness.
478
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,478
Top in Pops, mean queers.
479
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,382
Mean queers as sales personnel?
480
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:01,252
That is hands-down,
state-of-the-art meanness.
481
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,390
Meanness of a higher sphere.
482
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,726
Do you really believe this shit,
483
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,795
or are you just talking?
484
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:16,267
Why don't we go to
your place and find out?
485
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,803
Do me a favor, will you?
486
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,204
Disappear.
487
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,006
Come on, girls.
488
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,509
I apologize for Huey...
489
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:25,343
Enough.
490
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,177
Bye.
491
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,011
Sorry.
492
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:27,912
Flo.
493
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:30,715
What?
494
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,418
You are unbelievable.
495
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,786
No, seriously, seriously, Huey?
496
00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:36,120
Why even speak?
497
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:39,057
Hey, Roz, where are you?
498
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,792
It had to be said.
499
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:42,660
Nice.
500
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,532
Isn't this amazing?
501
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,433
Mm-hmm.
502
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:53,337
On a scale of one to
10, how amazing is this?
503
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,939
Um...
504
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:55,773
Amazing?
505
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,607
Yeah!
506
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,508
Okay.
507
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,314
Oh, Roz!
508
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,182
Yeah!
509
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,450
Yeah, Yeah!
510
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,584
Oh Roz!
511
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,585
Yeah!
512
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,087
Yeah!
513
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,488
Say my name.
514
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,322
Say my name.
515
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,256
Yes, Bernard.
516
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,091
Bernard!
517
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:13,925
Oh Roz!
518
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,393
Woo, hoo, hoo!
519
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,256
Hey, what am I doing here?
520
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,191
This whole thing was your idea.
521
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,960
If it wasn't for you,
I'd be drunk in Denver.
522
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,995
It was Mom's idea,
and second of all,
523
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:54,432
I didn't find you in Denver,
I found you in Aspen.
524
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,100
What the fuck were you
doing in Aspen?
525
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,268
How should I know?
526
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,570
I bought a pot farm in Colorado.
527
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,405
Aspen's in Colorado.
528
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,573
Thank you.
529
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,342
So, you livin' with some dude?
530
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,376
Drop dead!
531
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,946
If you think hating me's
gonna get on my nerves,
532
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,548
don't give it a thought.
533
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,083
I don't even know you, man.
534
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,451
Yes, you do.
535
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,419
Like it or not,
you're part of me.
536
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,587
Oh, God.
537
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:17,522
So, yes or no?
538
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:18,756
Boyfriend?
539
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,491
You're not married, are you?
540
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,792
How old are you?
541
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,661
You don't even know
how old I am?
542
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,530
I'm not great with details,
okay?
543
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,732
But before I left, I
was a very good father.
544
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,534
Did your mother tell you that?
545
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,868
It must have slipped her mind.
546
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:31,869
Do you like your name?
547
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:32,703
Why?
548
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,971
Was it your idea?
549
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,374
As a matter of fact.
550
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,709
Your mother wanted to
name you Virginia,
551
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,611
after Virginia Woolf.
552
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,079
I said, well, if we're
going to name her after
553
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,116
a crazy female writer,
dig this, let's name
554
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:47,919
her after an American crazy
female writer.
555
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,887
Thus, Zelda Fitzgerald.
556
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,424
Is that supposed
to be endearing?
557
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:56,127
Why, I think it has
a great pedigree.
558
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,595
Y'know, people say she
was the brains behind
559
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:00,331
the operation with old F. Scott.
560
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:04,101
Sadly, she was a bit
schizophrenic.
561
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,938
Spent years in the sanatorium.
562
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,806
It seems I'm headed for the
same fate.
563
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:09,640
Well, I hope not.
564
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:10,808
She died in a fire.
565
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:11,976
I'd be open to that if it
would get me
566
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,011
out of here any quicker.
567
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,047
When is your mother
getting here?
568
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,115
Not soon enough.
569
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,517
My ex-wife, Suzanne.
570
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,351
Suzanne.
571
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:21,184
She didn't know me the way you
know me,
572
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,120
so why did I marry her?
573
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,455
It wasn't her fault.
574
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,289
Y'know what?
575
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,190
Yeah, it was.
576
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,792
No, not really.
577
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,360
I wasn't there for her to know.
578
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,996
I only let her know
parts of myself,
579
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,231
don't ask me why.
580
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,432
Fear of commitment.
581
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,533
No, that wasn't it.
582
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,703
It just seemed too much
of an effort.
583
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,805
So when we split up, she
wasn't splitting up with me.
584
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,641
She was splitting up with
this fragment, this segment.
585
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,943
So the loss I felt was
no more or less a loss
586
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,012
than say, my little toe.
587
00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:56,387
Losing my wife was like
losing my little toe.
588
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,291
The shit I say to you.
589
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,693
I wonder why.
590
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,001
Are you staying up?
591
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,135
I think so.
592
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,904
Hm.
593
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,805
All right.
594
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:24,548
It's so bizarre!
595
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:25,516
The cards that I think are gonna
do well
596
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,085
just die on me,
597
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,653
and the cards that I do just
for the hell of it, like...
598
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,122
Zelda, what was that card, two
years ago,
599
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:34,292
you remember, it was so bizarre
600
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,861
it sold hundreds of thousands?
601
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:40,831
I dunno.
602
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,467
Could it have been about a cat?
603
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,671
No, Zelda, cats always sell.
604
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,441
Cats sell better than
almost anything.
605
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,243
It's just not a challenge
to do a cat card.
606
00:21:52,245 --> 00:21:54,679
Anyone that does a cat card,
even not very good one,
607
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,080
they sell millions.
608
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:56,947
You know what I call it?
609
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,917
I call it "catsism,"
like "sexism."
610
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,354
Oh, I am so bored of cats.
611
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,623
But, I just cannot, for
the life of me recall
612
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,525
the what, that card...
613
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:11,896
A baby!
614
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,533
How bizarre!
615
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:18,035
An ugly, little wrinkled baby.
616
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,603
That was the card!
617
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,206
Oh, no.
618
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:25,710
Huey, do you know that
your daughter has the
619
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:28,979
makings of a truly
brilliant cartoonist?
620
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,381
Graphic novelist!
621
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:31,582
Please!
622
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,051
You been published.
623
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,186
Nothing long-form.
624
00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,087
Yet!
625
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:38,656
Then you're still a
cartoonist, dear.
626
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:39,757
Oh, Christ!
627
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:40,791
I can't do this anymore!
628
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:42,593
What are you doing?
629
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:43,427
Look at you!
630
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:44,528
Look at him!
631
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,697
You're acting like a, like a,
632
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,165
like a damsel in distress
633
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,902
about a fuckin' fat little
fringy man!
634
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,004
I can't, I can't sit
here anymore!
635
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:55,072
It's insane!
636
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:00,745
I'm sorry.
637
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:04,915
I'm sorry that I drink so much
638
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:07,385
and I talk so much gibberish.
639
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:11,689
She is very much her
father's daughter.
640
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,291
Well.
641
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,395
Thank you.
642
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,230
What is she?
643
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:20,131
22?
644
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:22,900
25.
645
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:23,801
Oh.
646
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,804
She's got balls.
647
00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,873
Well, she's strong,
if that's what you mean.
648
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:32,777
Oh, Huey, I was out to
make a good impression.
649
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:39,116
You know, I've got a
friend in publishing.
650
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:41,986
I've got friends in publishing.
651
00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:45,656
Well, I'm not making promises,
um...
652
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:47,158
She's not a dyke?
653
00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:49,527
No!
654
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,695
What kind of question is that?
655
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:53,764
She's ballsy.
656
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,933
What's her deal with men?
657
00:23:57,203 --> 00:24:00,438
She treats men like
you treat women.
658
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,607
She doesn't have much
faith in men.
659
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,943
And why should she?
660
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,378
Don't finish it, Aggie.
661
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:10,714
Her father left when she was 10.
662
00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:11,549
I'm sorry.
663
00:24:11,551 --> 00:24:12,416
Don't be mad at me.
664
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:13,317
Oh...
665
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,253
Oh, I, no, I'm not...
666
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:17,154
No, I...
667
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:23,127
You look great, by the way.
668
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:24,028
I mean it!
669
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:26,464
I do, I do, I do, I do.
670
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,532
As I live and breathe.
671
00:24:30,937 --> 00:24:34,972
I dunno why this
is such a surprise to you.
672
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:37,942
Huey, I didn't even
know you had a daughter.
673
00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:39,109
- Well, I have a son, too.
- What?
674
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,911
But that's a different story.
675
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:41,946
I mean, I've been with
a lot of women,
676
00:24:41,948 --> 00:24:44,181
and they're not all careful.
677
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:45,282
It was their fault?
678
00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:46,116
No problem.
679
00:24:46,118 --> 00:24:46,951
My fault.
680
00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:48,853
But it's their kid.
681
00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:49,987
You're a sociopath!
682
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,322
No!
683
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:53,891
Hey, uh, maybe you can help
my daughter.
684
00:24:53,893 --> 00:24:55,092
No, Huey, please.
685
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:56,961
I'm bad enough with my
own family.
686
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,996
She's a comic book writer.
687
00:24:58,998 --> 00:24:59,864
What do they call it?
688
00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:00,698
Graphic novelist?
689
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:01,532
Right!
690
00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:02,366
And you're at Norton, dig?
691
00:25:02,368 --> 00:25:03,551
So can't you?
692
00:25:03,552 --> 00:25:04,735
No, I have nothing to
do with that department.
693
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:07,171
No, I've got my own problems.
694
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,473
I don't want to help
your daughter.
695
00:25:09,475 --> 00:25:10,674
Wow!
696
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,676
I can't decide which one
of you is more narcissistic,
697
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:15,179
but I've got patients to see.
698
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:19,950
Why they're not either
one of you, I don't know.
699
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:21,085
- Bye.
- Bye.
700
00:25:24,423 --> 00:25:25,623
Hates men.
701
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,191
I can hear you!
702
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,193
What is your problem?
703
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:34,865
You know women chew more
gum than men these days.
704
00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:37,468
Maybe there's a cartoon in that,
705
00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:39,904
that could be kinda funny,
y'know?
706
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:41,171
The smart women.
707
00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:42,206
The smartest women I know,
708
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,641
the more they, um...
709
00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:44,575
The more they...
710
00:25:44,577 --> 00:25:45,476
Oh.
711
00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:52,616
Honestly, I don't know
what to say about these.
712
00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:53,450
Right.
713
00:25:53,452 --> 00:25:55,986
No, I'm...
714
00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:58,521
I'm not the most
visually-inspired
person in the world.
715
00:25:58,524 --> 00:26:01,091
My opinion, it hardly matters.
716
00:26:01,928 --> 00:26:06,797
I'm only associate publisher
for historical nonfiction.
717
00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:10,901
What I like doesn't count
for a lot around here,
718
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,136
so...
719
00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,938
But you don't like the stuff.
720
00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:14,838
No, no.
721
00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,375
I mean, it's definitely, y'know,
722
00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:19,977
full of bile against men,
723
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:21,478
not that that's...
724
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,347
That's totally fair commentary.
725
00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:24,882
That's, y'know, yeah...
726
00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,784
I mean you have a point of view,
you know,
727
00:26:26,786 --> 00:26:28,953
you definitely have a point of
view, so...
728
00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:32,890
Do you think someone so
young should be doing work
729
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:34,892
that's this bitter?
730
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:35,960
I'm not bitter.
731
00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:37,528
Well, uh...
732
00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:38,862
You're just afraid.
733
00:26:38,864 --> 00:26:40,230
Oh?
734
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:41,231
Is that right?
735
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:43,133
That's right.
736
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:44,802
You're afraid of the truth.
737
00:26:44,804 --> 00:26:46,270
So's everyone else.
738
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:47,671
That's why I'm not famous.
739
00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:53,544
How come someone like you
is friends with my father?
740
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,718
That's a good question.
741
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,820
Why am I,
at this particular moment,
742
00:27:02,822 --> 00:27:05,623
still friends with your dad?
743
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,041
Oh, here's another one!
744
00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:08,458
Maybe this is, no,
that's more penises.
745
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:10,260
Yeah, I don't get it.
746
00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:14,298
What was I supposed to do?
747
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,066
Stay with her mother
after she takes
748
00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:17,468
the greeting-card business
to another printer?
749
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,370
She was mad at you for
playing around, Huey.
750
00:27:19,372 --> 00:27:21,705
Yeah, well I made those
fucking cards, all right?
751
00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:24,008
She couldn't sell shit
until I started printing,
752
00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,576
promoting, and placing them.
753
00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:28,278
I got her into fucking Wal-Mart!
754
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,113
Why?
755
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,347
'Cause I love the art.
756
00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,016
I mean, I loved her, too!
757
00:27:32,018 --> 00:27:33,984
I busted my balls.
758
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:35,285
And yeah, I get it!
759
00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,621
You know, she finds me in
bed with the cleaning lady.
760
00:27:37,623 --> 00:27:39,790
Okay, fire the fucking
cleaning lady,
761
00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:41,925
you don't fire your
husband's business.
762
00:27:41,927 --> 00:27:43,460
You had a child!
763
00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:44,428
Do you have a child?
764
00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:45,596
You know I don't.
765
00:27:45,598 --> 00:27:49,800
Don't know nothin', so don't
lecture me.
766
00:27:49,802 --> 00:27:53,704
She humiliated me, and
nobody humiliates Huey.
767
00:27:57,209 --> 00:27:58,075
All right.
768
00:27:58,077 --> 00:27:59,410
Got it.
769
00:27:59,412 --> 00:28:01,311
Just don't judge me.
770
00:28:02,548 --> 00:28:03,380
You know what?
771
00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:04,248
Let's just go home.
772
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:05,382
No problem.
773
00:28:08,788 --> 00:28:09,920
Hey, baby.
774
00:28:09,922 --> 00:28:10,754
Hey, baby.
775
00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:12,022
You wanna go out, sugar?
776
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,190
Wanna have a good time?
777
00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:15,025
Bargain rates tonight, baby.
778
00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:17,027
Two for one, sugar.
779
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,495
Are you alive, sugar?
780
00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,831
I've never paid for it
in my life.
781
00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:21,665
Oh.
782
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:24,618
No.
783
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:25,868
Hookers used to give it to me
for free.
784
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:28,138
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
785
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:29,139
I don't do free, baby.
786
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:30,274
Sorry, honey.
787
00:28:31,577 --> 00:28:35,079
All right, well, I'm
sorry to disappoint you.
788
00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:36,814
I'm, I'm, I'm Huey.
789
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:38,782
Who?
790
00:28:38,784 --> 00:28:40,250
Huey Beauchamp!
791
00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:41,985
No.
792
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:45,222
I am Huey Beauchamp!
793
00:28:46,826 --> 00:28:49,526
I have never paid for it
in my life!
794
00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:50,761
Are you shittin' me, sugar?
795
00:28:50,763 --> 00:28:51,595
No.
796
00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:53,664
C'mon, let's go.
797
00:28:53,666 --> 00:28:54,732
Night night.
798
00:28:56,469 --> 00:28:58,535
I remember Huey Beauchamp...
799
00:28:58,537 --> 00:28:59,737
A little tiny boy...
800
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:00,704
How much?
801
00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:06,610
I like tiny boys.
802
00:29:06,612 --> 00:29:07,511
They don't hurt.
803
00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:11,181
Let's go.
804
00:29:12,852 --> 00:29:13,751
Let's go.
805
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,755
They used to give it to me.
806
00:29:17,757 --> 00:29:19,089
All right.
807
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:20,691
I'm not...
808
00:29:20,693 --> 00:29:22,826
That's not even bragging.
809
00:29:22,828 --> 00:29:24,595
That's just true.
810
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:25,429
All right.
811
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:27,498
No problem.
812
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:28,966
Ahhh.
813
00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:30,167
Huey, ow!
814
00:29:30,169 --> 00:29:31,735
Ow, you're drunk.
815
00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:32,903
Stop.
816
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:35,038
You're not getting it
from me for free either.
817
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:40,978
You know what we are living
in, man?
818
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,780
The age of the urban chick.
819
00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:43,614
They're hip.
820
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:44,448
They know it all.
821
00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:45,749
I feel like a schmuck.
822
00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:48,285
The urban chick is
trained for combat, man.
823
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:49,119
What do I do?
824
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:51,155
I'm not basically competitive.
825
00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,190
You take the urban chick on
her terms, man, you're dead!
826
00:29:53,192 --> 00:29:54,825
How many times can I feel like
a schmuck
827
00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:56,760
without also feeling
like a loser?
828
00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:58,996
There's only one way I
know to get through the armor
829
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:00,597
of the urban chick.
830
00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:01,431
How?
831
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,366
How?
832
00:30:02,368 --> 00:30:03,500
Talk dirty.
833
00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:05,536
Talk dirty?
834
00:30:05,538 --> 00:30:07,304
I don't mean
self-conscious dirty,
835
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:08,772
like it's a current in thing.
836
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:09,873
She does that herself.
837
00:30:09,875 --> 00:30:11,575
I'm talking animal dirty.
838
00:30:11,577 --> 00:30:14,011
Like you got to make her
believe she's in a jungle
839
00:30:14,013 --> 00:30:17,548
and the rules she learned at
Smith or Barnard don't apply.
840
00:30:17,550 --> 00:30:19,250
Talk dirty?
841
00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:20,951
You mean, like,
really, like, talk dirty?
842
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:22,319
Talk "asshole."
843
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,153
Talk "shit."
844
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:24,388
Talk "pussy."
845
00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:25,823
Talk "fuck."
846
00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:27,424
Never ask a personal question
847
00:30:27,426 --> 00:30:29,526
and never pick up a check...
848
00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:32,596
To the urban chick, goons
like me are a status symbol.
849
00:30:32,598 --> 00:30:33,630
This works?
850
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:34,932
Works every time.
851
00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,600
Put the urban chick on the
defensive, man,
852
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,836
she'll think she's in love.
853
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,070
And with all that armor,
854
00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:43,740
how's she gonna
know the difference?
855
00:30:43,742 --> 00:30:46,710
I didn't even know
Huey had children.
856
00:30:46,712 --> 00:30:48,445
A daughter, that is.
857
00:30:49,615 --> 00:30:52,916
What's it like to see him
for the first time in, what?
858
00:30:52,918 --> 00:30:53,817
15 years?
859
00:30:53,819 --> 00:30:58,856
I don't really think about
it one way or the other.
860
00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:01,658
Are you really this tough?
861
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:03,527
I mean, my mom wanted
to see him.
862
00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:04,461
You know?
863
00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:06,463
And once she gets an
idea in her head,
864
00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:08,332
it's like a whole thing, so...
865
00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,901
Plus, it was a good excuse for
me to kind of travel around,
866
00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,303
and go into some cons,
and meet publishers,
867
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:15,706
show 'em some of my stuff, so...
868
00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:17,574
How did you even find him?
869
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,943
I mean, he's fat, and loud,
870
00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:22,679
and slings money
around like crazy,
871
00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:25,182
So it's kind of hard
to miss him.
872
00:31:25,184 --> 00:31:28,585
It's almost as if he wanted to
be found.
873
00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:32,222
Y'know, you're not
macho like him, are you?
874
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:33,123
Well...
875
00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:37,194
No one's macho like Huey, so...
876
00:31:37,196 --> 00:31:38,562
Y'know, most of the guys I meet,
877
00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:42,866
I kind of bring out the
macho in them, but not you.
878
00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:45,736
Is that right?
879
00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:48,171
Yeah, that's right.
880
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:49,406
I'm too old.
881
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:53,543
I get the feeling you
were never really that way.
882
00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:56,113
What were you like when you were
my age?
883
00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:57,581
I wasn't very mature.
884
00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:58,482
Hmmm.
885
00:31:59,385 --> 00:32:01,485
Late developer, huh?
886
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,054
If only.
887
00:32:04,924 --> 00:32:07,224
I was an early developer.
888
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:12,663
I bet you were some kind
of, like, wimp, huh?
889
00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:14,431
I was a wimp.
890
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,833
I was a classic wimp.
891
00:32:16,835 --> 00:32:17,668
Well.
892
00:32:17,670 --> 00:32:19,102
Just goes to show.
893
00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:20,003
What?
894
00:32:21,173 --> 00:32:24,074
That there's hope for wimps yet.
895
00:32:24,877 --> 00:32:25,776
Married?
896
00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:28,912
Uh, not anymore.
897
00:32:28,914 --> 00:32:30,213
Hm.
898
00:32:30,215 --> 00:32:32,082
Did you abandon your wife, too?
899
00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:35,385
We were only married
for six weeks.
900
00:32:35,387 --> 00:32:36,286
You got kids?
901
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:37,621
After six weeks?
902
00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:38,588
No.
903
00:32:38,590 --> 00:32:40,157
Oh, that's good.
904
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:43,627
Why is that good?
905
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:51,735
I wouldn't feel right about
it if there were children.
906
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:55,138
Feel right about what?
907
00:32:57,876 --> 00:32:59,109
You tell me.
908
00:33:02,915 --> 00:33:05,215
You're my best friend's
daughter, uh...
909
00:33:05,217 --> 00:33:07,718
Uh-huh.
910
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,253
Doesn't that make
you feel awkward?
911
00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:11,154
Mmmm...
912
00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:14,324
No.
913
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:17,728
Should we split?
914
00:33:20,432 --> 00:33:21,331
Uhhh...
915
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:24,334
Blah...
916
00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:26,903
C'mon.
917
00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:32,542
Trust me.
918
00:33:35,881 --> 00:33:37,948
We call ourselves the
Katrinka Kollective.
919
00:33:37,950 --> 00:33:39,249
And who's Katrinka?
920
00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:40,717
You're old you should know.
921
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,119
Coming through, guys!
922
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,021
You promised to help me
on my app deadline, Zelda!
923
00:33:44,023 --> 00:33:45,022
Five minutes, Celia!
924
00:33:45,024 --> 00:33:45,889
Your ass, Zelda!
925
00:33:45,891 --> 00:33:47,057
And don't use your room, Zelda.
926
00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:48,325
Harry's in there.
927
00:33:48,327 --> 00:33:50,394
Why can't Harry sleep
in your room, Celia?
928
00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:51,361
Because your room doesn't get
929
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:52,195
the Bushwick traffic.
930
00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:53,030
Okay, Zelda?
931
00:33:53,032 --> 00:33:55,065
Yo, Harry, out!
932
00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:57,100
While we're young, buddy!
933
00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:58,001
Let's go!
934
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:00,737
All right!
935
00:34:01,607 --> 00:34:02,439
Okay!
936
00:34:02,441 --> 00:34:03,340
All clear!
937
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:05,108
Bernard!
938
00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:07,711
Uhhh...
939
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,612
Bye.
940
00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:56,927
This is really good.
941
00:34:58,030 --> 00:34:59,463
Here you go, buddy!
942
00:34:59,465 --> 00:35:00,297
Awesome!
943
00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:01,665
Thank you.
944
00:35:02,501 --> 00:35:03,333
Thank you for my meal!
945
00:35:03,335 --> 00:35:05,235
My pleasure.
946
00:35:27,693 --> 00:35:28,758
What's this?
947
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,660
It's a present.
948
00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:31,761
Who is she?
949
00:35:31,763 --> 00:35:33,597
Roz, come on.
950
00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:34,498
No, that's...
951
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,367
It's a tenth
anniversary present.
952
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:40,837
It's 10 years since we started
breaking up with each other.
953
00:35:40,839 --> 00:35:41,738
Open it.
954
00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:44,241
I'm sure it's the perfect gift.
955
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:45,075
Yes.
956
00:35:45,077 --> 00:35:47,010
I know it's the perfect gift.
957
00:35:47,012 --> 00:35:48,912
But, whatever it is,
I don't want to
958
00:35:48,914 --> 00:35:51,581
get into a fight tonight.
959
00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:52,582
Roz.
960
00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:53,683
It is just a gift.
961
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,819
But there is something,
962
00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:57,487
a favor,
963
00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:58,955
to make me like you again.
964
00:35:58,957 --> 00:35:59,856
What?
965
00:36:00,726 --> 00:36:02,492
Ah, you like me.
966
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:05,195
That's something I never
have worry about ever.
967
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:10,000
I don't know Huey.
968
00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:13,503
Clearly he's not a person that
knows how to ask for help.
969
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,639
But I just thought it
would mean a lot to him
970
00:36:15,641 --> 00:36:17,674
if you saw his daughter.
971
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:20,143
Zelda?
972
00:36:20,145 --> 00:36:22,078
Yeah, Zelda.
973
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,748
You know, just give her some
advice on publishing, and...
974
00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:26,483
No, no, no, yeah.
975
00:36:26,485 --> 00:36:27,317
Something.
976
00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,151
Yeah.
977
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:28,985
That's not too much, is it?
978
00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:29,819
No.
979
00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:30,654
That's great.
980
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:32,222
I will meet Zelda.
981
00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:34,691
Mmmm.
982
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,992
Good.
983
00:36:35,994 --> 00:36:38,061
And take your gift back.
984
00:36:39,097 --> 00:36:40,997
Oh, it's a good one.
985
00:36:43,001 --> 00:36:45,602
I mean, if you start to depend
on the compassion of others,
986
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:46,503
you can get hurt.
987
00:36:46,505 --> 00:36:47,337
I know that.
988
00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:48,638
Still...
989
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,474
If you spend your life
avoiding hurt,
990
00:36:51,476 --> 00:36:53,510
you spend your life avoiding
life, y'know.
991
00:36:53,512 --> 00:36:55,011
Hey!
992
00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:55,845
Oh!
993
00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,581
That's pretty good!
994
00:36:57,583 --> 00:36:58,415
Huh?
995
00:36:58,417 --> 00:36:59,916
I just made that up.
996
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:01,518
Huh?
997
00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:03,119
Doesn't that sound like
something I've said
998
00:37:03,121 --> 00:37:05,121
a million times before?
999
00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:07,424
No, I just, uh...
1000
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,395
You inspired that, Zelda.
1001
00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:16,032
No, it's true, it's true,
it's true.
1002
00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:17,867
This whole evening...
1003
00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:20,637
If I was with someone without
your appeal,
1004
00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:24,874
I don't think I could have
come up with that line.
1005
00:37:25,777 --> 00:37:29,179
Because, you know, usually
when I'm with a girl...
1006
00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:31,414
A woman, at least of late,
1007
00:37:32,517 --> 00:37:35,452
I don't get that sense of,
what the hell.
1008
00:37:35,454 --> 00:37:37,687
What the hell, just go for it.
1009
00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:39,422
But I get that with you.
1010
00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:46,062
So, are you currently involved?
1011
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:49,299
No.
1012
00:37:49,301 --> 00:37:50,133
What are you laughing at?
1013
00:37:50,135 --> 00:37:50,967
Involved?
1014
00:37:50,969 --> 00:37:51,852
No.
1015
00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:52,736
What, I thought that was, like,
1016
00:37:52,738 --> 00:37:55,405
one of your old man
nonfiction words.
1017
00:37:55,407 --> 00:37:56,239
Old man?
1018
00:37:56,241 --> 00:37:57,073
No.
1019
00:37:57,909 --> 00:37:58,808
Yes, that's my word.
1020
00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:00,694
What about
"committed?"
1021
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:02,579
Are you, uh, committed
to anyone at this moment?
1022
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:03,780
No.
1023
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:04,681
Mm-Mmm.
1024
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:06,583
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
1025
00:38:06,585 --> 00:38:07,751
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
1026
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,187
I mean, what about
our communication?
1027
00:38:11,189 --> 00:38:12,889
Do you think we'll still
be able to communicate,
1028
00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:15,258
given our age difference?
1029
00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:16,493
Yeah.
1030
00:38:16,495 --> 00:38:19,929
Yeah, we can, we can
talk about books, hmm?
1031
00:38:19,931 --> 00:38:20,764
What's a book again?
1032
00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:23,166
Okay, there you go.
1033
00:38:23,168 --> 00:38:24,234
I'll introduce it to you.
1034
00:38:24,236 --> 00:38:26,736
That'll be a good conversation
to have.
1035
00:38:26,738 --> 00:38:28,471
Man, I bet I know what you love.
1036
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:29,439
Hmm.
1037
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:32,208
I bet you love rock 'n' roll,
baby.
1038
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:33,043
Ow!
1039
00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,911
I bet it's really your style.
1040
00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,746
Yes, you know me
so well already.
1041
00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:39,716
Rock 'n' roll and books,
that's me.
1042
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,587
You know, I think one day,
1043
00:38:43,588 --> 00:38:45,855
I'm actually really gonna
surprise you.
1044
00:38:45,857 --> 00:38:47,791
You already are surprising me.
1045
00:38:47,793 --> 00:38:50,427
No, I mean it, Bernie.
1046
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:53,163
I wanna be a great
graphic novelist.
1047
00:38:53,165 --> 00:38:55,332
I'm gonna be famous.
1048
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:58,668
I feel like I'm gonna be
the voice of my generation.
1049
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:00,904
I know you will be, hmm?
1050
00:39:02,274 --> 00:39:03,506
No, not her.
1051
00:39:04,376 --> 00:39:08,011
Not Maxine, not Debbie,
not Danielle, no...
1052
00:39:08,013 --> 00:39:09,079
No?
1053
00:39:09,081 --> 00:39:10,180
Here's a possibility.
1054
00:39:10,182 --> 00:39:11,014
Who?
1055
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:11,848
Her name's Audrey.
1056
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:12,682
Built like a brick shithouse.
1057
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:13,516
Lives in the Bronx.
1058
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,351
What?
1059
00:39:14,353 --> 00:39:15,736
The Bronx!
1060
00:39:15,737 --> 00:39:17,120
Don't you have anything
in the City?
1061
00:39:17,122 --> 00:39:18,355
Jezebel.
1062
00:39:18,357 --> 00:39:19,756
Okay.
1063
00:39:19,758 --> 00:39:20,657
Not for you.
1064
00:39:20,659 --> 00:39:21,725
Now, wait, no, no.
1065
00:39:21,727 --> 00:39:22,826
Who is Jezebel?
1066
00:39:22,828 --> 00:39:24,394
She'd destroy you, Bernard.
1067
00:39:24,396 --> 00:39:25,228
Great.
1068
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:26,029
Great.
1069
00:39:26,031 --> 00:39:26,863
Give me Jezebel!
1070
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:27,697
The real stuff.
1071
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:28,531
A dancer.
1072
00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:29,366
What kind of dancer?
1073
00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:30,200
Modern.
1074
00:39:30,202 --> 00:39:31,034
Sounds limber.
1075
00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:31,868
Lives in the Village.
1076
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:32,702
Call her now.
1077
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:33,536
Now?
1078
00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:36,306
But, it's after midnight, Huey.
1079
00:39:36,308 --> 00:39:39,209
To Jezebel, man,
it's only lunchtime.
1080
00:39:39,211 --> 00:39:41,077
Oh, hello, Jezebel.
1081
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:42,579
Uh, my name is
Bernard Mergendeiler.
1082
00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:45,215
A friend of mine, Huey
Beauchamp, gave me your number
1083
00:39:45,217 --> 00:39:48,084
because he thought that you and
I might...
1084
00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:51,721
No, yes, yeah, no, he, he's
fine, uh, but,
1085
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,390
Huey thought that, uh, it'd be
good if you
1086
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:55,943
and I could...
1087
00:39:55,944 --> 00:39:58,495
No, I'm sorry, I don't
have his new number,
1088
00:39:58,497 --> 00:40:01,331
but what I do have
are two tickets
1089
00:40:01,333 --> 00:40:05,034
to the Tom Waits concert
on Monday.
1090
00:40:05,036 --> 00:40:06,836
No, Huey will not be there.
1091
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:09,239
He's out of town, I think.
1092
00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:10,807
So...
1093
00:40:10,809 --> 00:40:13,476
Jezebel, Jezebel, on Tuesday...
1094
00:40:14,546 --> 00:40:15,912
Tuesday night...
1095
00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:20,450
I was invited to a Robert
Mapplethorpe opening...
1096
00:40:20,452 --> 00:40:22,485
Oh, oh, okay...
1097
00:40:22,487 --> 00:40:24,788
Um, are you free Wednesday?
1098
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:28,091
There's a new French
film screening.
1099
00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:29,225
It's "Shoah."
1100
00:40:30,395 --> 00:40:32,562
I don't know anything about it,
but, uh,
1101
00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:35,131
sounds like a musical.
1102
00:40:35,133 --> 00:40:36,166
Uh, you're free!
1103
00:40:36,168 --> 00:40:37,400
Uh, great.
1104
00:40:37,402 --> 00:40:38,234
10 pm.
1105
00:40:38,236 --> 00:40:39,402
Cinema Studio.
1106
00:40:39,404 --> 00:40:41,504
Yeah, I'll meet you out front.
1107
00:40:41,506 --> 00:40:42,872
I will be the one
carrying a copy
1108
00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:45,375
of "Lady Chatterley's Lover."
1109
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:48,378
You know, actually I just
started it, but,
1110
00:40:48,380 --> 00:40:51,281
um, I'm really so far
enjoying the whole...
1111
00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:52,115
Oh.
1112
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:52,949
No, sure.
1113
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:53,783
No, of course.
1114
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:54,617
Great.
1115
00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:55,452
Fine.
1116
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,352
Fine.
1117
00:41:00,158 --> 00:41:01,324
Hey, man.
1118
00:41:01,326 --> 00:41:04,127
I'm totally gonna stick it to
that skank.
1119
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,196
I dig it, man.
1120
00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:07,931
I think I do, too.
1121
00:41:09,201 --> 00:41:10,567
Roz, just, c'mon Roz!
1122
00:41:10,569 --> 00:41:11,734
No, just get out of here...
1123
00:41:11,736 --> 00:41:12,569
Get out!
1124
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:13,703
Roz, let me explain!
1125
00:41:13,705 --> 00:41:15,371
Oh, you've come here
to tell me you're in love
1126
00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:18,208
with a 25-year-old
underground cartoonist?
1127
00:41:18,210 --> 00:41:19,476
Graphic novelist.
1128
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:20,743
And no, I don't know
what it is yet.
1129
00:41:20,745 --> 00:41:21,678
It's the fucking present!
1130
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:22,512
What?
1131
00:41:22,514 --> 00:41:23,346
Ow!
1132
00:41:23,348 --> 00:41:24,180
The present you gave me!
1133
00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:25,181
You always give me presents!
1134
00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:26,015
Ow!
1135
00:41:26,017 --> 00:41:27,500
Roz! Roz! Roz!
1136
00:41:27,501 --> 00:41:28,984
Look, I'm not any more
happy about it than you are!
1137
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:30,053
Oh, you think I'm stupid?
1138
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:30,887
No...
1139
00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:31,721
You want my understanding?
1140
00:41:31,723 --> 00:41:33,056
You want my compassion?
1141
00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:34,324
No, I, you're a therapist.
1142
00:41:34,326 --> 00:41:35,825
You're a prick!
1143
00:41:38,363 --> 00:41:39,662
You know, you were the
one who asked me to meet her
1144
00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:41,631
in the first place!
1145
00:41:45,637 --> 00:41:46,936
We never go to your place?
1146
00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:47,770
No, I'm just embarrassed
1147
00:41:47,772 --> 00:41:49,939
for you to see my apartment.
1148
00:41:49,941 --> 00:41:51,508
Because my father lives there!
1149
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:52,842
Zelda, I do...
1150
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:56,145
If you don't want Huey to
know about us, that's fine.
1151
00:41:56,147 --> 00:41:57,146
You just have to tell me.
1152
00:41:57,148 --> 00:41:58,815
It's complicated.
1153
00:41:58,817 --> 00:42:01,417
Mainly, it's really
because of my apartment.
1154
00:42:01,419 --> 00:42:02,752
I just don't want you to see it
1155
00:42:02,754 --> 00:42:05,889
until I've had a chance
to do something with it.
1156
00:42:05,891 --> 00:42:09,092
I don't think you're being
straight with me, Bernard.
1157
00:42:09,094 --> 00:42:10,593
Y'know, it's shaping up like
you're gonna
1158
00:42:10,595 --> 00:42:12,829
have to make a choice.
1159
00:42:12,831 --> 00:42:13,830
Huey or me?
1160
00:42:17,068 --> 00:42:18,668
Hey, man!
1161
00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:19,569
Hey.
1162
00:42:24,442 --> 00:42:25,675
Y'know, I'm...
1163
00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:30,346
I'm kinda surprised
we're still friends.
1164
00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:32,415
You hurt me.
1165
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:33,383
You know that, right?
1166
00:42:33,385 --> 00:42:34,584
Bullshit.
1167
00:42:34,586 --> 00:42:35,752
No, really.
1168
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:39,756
That's bullshit, dude,
1169
00:42:39,757 --> 00:42:42,091
practically every girl
you ever had, I gave you.
1170
00:42:42,093 --> 00:42:43,526
Yeah.
1171
00:42:43,528 --> 00:42:45,762
Do you remember Jezebel?
1172
00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:48,831
I know 17 Jezebels.
1173
00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:50,099
You see, I still still think
of her,
1174
00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:51,200
and you can't even remember.
1175
00:42:51,202 --> 00:42:53,570
The dancer, Jezebel.
1176
00:42:53,572 --> 00:42:57,040
Huey, she was the girl
of my dreams.
1177
00:42:57,042 --> 00:42:59,142
You know that, right?
1178
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:00,543
Yeah, no, I,
everything about her,
1179
00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:02,162
the way she looked at me.
1180
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:03,780
The way she made me feel
smarter than myself.
1181
00:43:03,782 --> 00:43:06,099
Even witty.
1182
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:08,417
She brought out, she
brought out, like depths,
1183
00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:09,252
that I didn't even...
1184
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:10,086
Okay, you know what?
1185
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:10,920
I'm not...
1186
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:11,754
You're gonna judge me.
1187
00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,022
We were inseparable, okay?
1188
00:43:13,024 --> 00:43:14,824
I was addicted to her.
1189
00:43:14,825 --> 00:43:16,625
And then you told me
that I was pussywhipped.
1190
00:43:16,628 --> 00:43:17,827
No, not just,
1191
00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:20,763
you have to know the kind
of influence you had on me.
1192
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,599
That stayed with me, for years.
1193
00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:23,733
Still with me.
1194
00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:27,503
And then, over nothing,
over some dumb issue,
1195
00:43:27,505 --> 00:43:29,238
something that meant
absolutely nothing,
1196
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:30,239
I stood up to her.
1197
00:43:30,241 --> 00:43:31,074
I mean, I knew,
1198
00:43:31,076 --> 00:43:33,309
I knew I was in the wrong.
1199
00:43:33,311 --> 00:43:36,045
But I didn't want Huey to
think that I was pussywhipped.
1200
00:43:36,047 --> 00:43:37,447
So, we broke up.
1201
00:43:39,584 --> 00:43:40,883
One year later,
she's married to someone
1202
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:43,753
who looks exactly like me.
1203
00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:45,088
Apparently, they live
in New Jersey.
1204
00:43:45,090 --> 00:43:46,789
They've got three kids,
1205
00:43:46,791 --> 00:43:48,691
and everyone says she
runs the family.
1206
00:43:48,693 --> 00:43:51,594
And all I do some
mornings is hope
1207
00:43:52,697 --> 00:43:54,163
her husband dies.
1208
00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:58,134
Do you know what you
suffer from, my friend?
1209
00:43:58,136 --> 00:43:59,869
What?
1210
00:43:59,871 --> 00:44:01,337
Pussywhip envy.
1211
00:44:03,241 --> 00:44:04,273
Okay, you know what?
1212
00:44:04,275 --> 00:44:05,174
Don't...
1213
00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:08,444
I'm just saying, Huey, if...
1214
00:44:08,446 --> 00:44:10,146
Just don't...
1215
00:44:10,148 --> 00:44:12,081
Break me up with a woman again.
1216
00:44:12,083 --> 00:44:12,982
Please.
1217
00:44:14,285 --> 00:44:15,184
Okay.
1218
00:44:16,755 --> 00:44:17,987
Put on your shoes.
1219
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:19,455
I'll walk you to the subway.
1220
00:44:19,457 --> 00:44:20,823
Honestly, don't bother.
1221
00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:23,926
Okay, I've never met
anyone so crude in my life.
1222
00:44:23,928 --> 00:44:24,927
Yeah, crude.
1223
00:44:24,929 --> 00:44:25,962
Now put on your shoes.
1224
00:44:25,964 --> 00:44:27,230
I'll walk you to the subway.
1225
00:44:27,232 --> 00:44:29,065
I mean you want everything
your own way, okay?
1226
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:30,033
You're spoiled.
1227
00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:31,518
Yeah, spoiled.
1228
00:44:31,519 --> 00:44:33,002
Now put on your shoes, I'll
walk you to the subway.
1229
00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,404
I mean, I have needs, too,
you know.
1230
00:44:34,406 --> 00:44:36,439
Yeah, you need to put on
your shoes.
1231
00:44:36,441 --> 00:44:38,307
I'll walk you to the subway.
1232
00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:39,575
You certainly gave me
a different impression,
1233
00:44:39,577 --> 00:44:40,543
that's all I'm saying.
1234
00:44:40,544 --> 00:44:41,510
I figured, go with the
Columbia guy,
1235
00:44:41,513 --> 00:44:42,345
they're not animals.
1236
00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:43,880
Now, put on your shoes.
1237
00:44:43,882 --> 00:44:45,581
I'll walk you to the subway.
1238
00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:47,784
Y'know, there's more to
life than self-gratification.
1239
00:44:47,786 --> 00:44:48,885
Uh-huh.
1240
00:44:48,887 --> 00:44:50,787
Okay, I hate to be
pushed into things.
1241
00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,388
We've barely said a word
to each other.
1242
00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:54,123
Even though, I admit
entirely too much time
1243
00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:55,391
is spent on talking now-a-days.
1244
00:44:55,393 --> 00:44:57,427
Okay, you talked.
1245
00:44:57,429 --> 00:44:58,695
Now put on your shoes.
1246
00:44:58,697 --> 00:45:00,430
I'll walk you to the subway.
1247
00:45:00,432 --> 00:45:02,398
We practically just met, okay?
1248
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,966
Women hate to be used.
1249
00:45:03,968 --> 00:45:05,301
I hate to be used.
1250
00:45:05,303 --> 00:45:06,335
I'm hip.
1251
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,837
Put on your shoes...
1252
00:45:07,839 --> 00:45:08,671
Mm-mm.
1253
00:45:08,673 --> 00:45:10,156
You're a very strange boy, Huey.
1254
00:45:10,157 --> 00:45:11,640
You're just used to women just
falling all over you, okay?
1255
00:45:11,643 --> 00:45:13,376
And I don't why you men
have to see beautiful
1256
00:45:13,378 --> 00:45:14,877
women as threats every time.
1257
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:16,312
I just, I need my coffee.
1258
00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:17,146
I'm out.
1259
00:45:17,148 --> 00:45:18,448
I have money.
1260
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,719
You got enough for breakfast?
1261
00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:24,287
Uh-huh.
1262
00:45:24,289 --> 00:45:28,291
Hey, bring me a couple
of bagels back, will you?
1263
00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:29,492
Any particular kind?
1264
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:31,227
Baby, I trust you.
1265
00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:38,701
So, why does Bernard say
that you've fallen apart?
1266
00:45:41,005 --> 00:45:43,372
I don't answer
analytic questions.
1267
00:45:43,374 --> 00:45:45,641
Analysts don't ask questions,
they wait,
1268
00:45:45,643 --> 00:45:47,677
and I'm not waiting.
1269
00:45:47,679 --> 00:45:48,644
Well, I could give
you a different answer
1270
00:45:48,646 --> 00:45:50,313
for every day of the week.
1271
00:45:50,315 --> 00:45:52,615
Um, my wife fucked me over.
1272
00:45:53,785 --> 00:45:55,051
Muscle tone.
1273
00:45:55,053 --> 00:45:56,319
Yeah, that's a good one.
1274
00:45:56,321 --> 00:45:59,088
A guy like me loses
muscle tone...
1275
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,924
So, why did you ask me
to dinner?
1276
00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:03,793
You need a reason
'cause you're an analyst?
1277
00:46:03,795 --> 00:46:04,761
No.
1278
00:46:04,763 --> 00:46:06,529
Motivation.
1279
00:46:06,531 --> 00:46:08,164
You wanna know my motivation.
1280
00:46:08,166 --> 00:46:09,165
Does this ever stop?
1281
00:46:09,167 --> 00:46:10,399
This performance?
1282
00:46:10,401 --> 00:46:11,234
The Huey act?
1283
00:46:11,236 --> 00:46:12,235
Oh, is that what you call it?
1284
00:46:12,237 --> 00:46:13,136
Mm-hmm.
1285
00:46:14,773 --> 00:46:17,140
This time in my life is what?
1286
00:46:17,142 --> 00:46:18,775
Reversal time?
1287
00:46:18,777 --> 00:46:21,310
Y'know, when I knew
Bernard, he never made out.
1288
00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:22,578
Never!
1289
00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:23,845
That no longer seems to be
his problem.
1290
00:46:23,848 --> 00:46:24,680
And now it's, like, what?
1291
00:46:24,682 --> 00:46:25,948
A fuckin' joke?
1292
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:28,518
It's like I'm him and he's me!
1293
00:46:31,856 --> 00:46:35,024
He's seein' a new chick,
you know.
1294
00:46:35,026 --> 00:46:38,027
So you wanna sleep with me.
1295
00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,796
She's young.
1296
00:46:39,798 --> 00:46:40,997
And I'm not?
1297
00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:42,398
I've got no frame of reference
1298
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,400
for any chick under 40.
1299
00:46:46,337 --> 00:46:48,571
I'm not gonna sleep with you,
Huey.
1300
00:46:48,573 --> 00:46:51,407
20 years ago, you would have.
1301
00:46:51,409 --> 00:46:52,375
Believe me.
1302
00:46:54,579 --> 00:46:57,113
Okay, can we talk about
something else?
1303
00:46:57,115 --> 00:46:59,515
How's your daughter?
1304
00:46:59,517 --> 00:47:01,350
That's who he's dating.
1305
00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:02,585
He told you?
1306
00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:06,756
You think you're the
only shrink in the room?
1307
00:47:06,758 --> 00:47:09,659
He brings up old grudges,
he's mad at me all the time.
1308
00:47:09,661 --> 00:47:11,661
He didn't have to tell me.
1309
00:47:11,663 --> 00:47:12,862
Well, does it bother you?
1310
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:15,097
Fuck yes, it bothers me!
1311
00:47:17,068 --> 00:47:20,403
You think I don't have feelings?
1312
00:47:20,405 --> 00:47:22,138
He's my only friend!
1313
00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,008
She's got my genes.
1314
00:47:28,213 --> 00:47:30,012
She will butcher him.
1315
00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:34,217
Okay, look.
1316
00:47:34,219 --> 00:47:36,085
Do you like this?
1317
00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:36,919
I don't.
1318
00:47:36,921 --> 00:47:38,354
You want me to be honest?
1319
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:40,590
I don't understand it.
1320
00:47:40,592 --> 00:47:41,791
Want some molly?
1321
00:47:41,793 --> 00:47:43,693
What? No.
1322
00:47:43,962 --> 00:47:47,029
All right. Suit yourself.
1323
00:47:48,066 --> 00:47:52,702
"Ich bin Scheisse.
Du bist Scheisse,
Mãnner sind Scheisse".
1324
00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:55,404
You're not supportive
of my work.
1325
00:47:55,406 --> 00:47:57,707
"Mãnner sind Hunde..."
1326
00:47:58,076 --> 00:47:59,041
Yes, I am.
1327
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:00,243
You're not.
1328
00:48:00,244 --> 00:48:01,444
You never ask to see what I'm
working on.
1329
00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,980
I won't understand it,
and then you get mad at me.
1330
00:48:03,982 --> 00:48:04,881
See!
1331
00:48:04,883 --> 00:48:06,482
You're not supportive!
1332
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:08,417
You want me to lie and
tell you I like something
1333
00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:09,485
I don't get?
1334
00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:11,354
See, I don't understand why
you say
1335
00:48:11,356 --> 00:48:12,521
that you're supportive,
1336
00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:14,523
and then you sabotage
me like this.
1337
00:48:14,525 --> 00:48:17,560
'Cause I am supportive of you!
1338
00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:19,462
Does it mean I have to
understand your work?
1339
00:48:19,464 --> 00:48:22,765
You just want me to be a
trophy, like an adornment.
1340
00:48:22,767 --> 00:48:24,700
All you ever do is talk
about is your career.
1341
00:48:24,702 --> 00:48:25,935
Because I'm young!
1342
00:48:25,937 --> 00:48:27,136
I have to talk about my career!
1343
00:48:27,138 --> 00:48:28,504
You don't have to talk about
your career
1344
00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:30,606
because you've already arrived!
1345
00:48:30,608 --> 00:48:32,275
I have not arrived, and,
frankly, you're standing
1346
00:48:32,277 --> 00:48:33,309
in my way.
1347
00:48:33,311 --> 00:48:34,610
That's just plain stupid.
C'mon.
1348
00:48:34,612 --> 00:48:37,513
I don't want us to
stay at my place anymore.
1349
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:40,750
"...Mãnner sind
Scheisse..."
1350
00:48:40,752 --> 00:48:41,851
So, what do you think, Mona?
1351
00:48:41,853 --> 00:48:43,519
All right, lets, this is...
1352
00:48:43,521 --> 00:48:44,687
This is shit.
1353
00:48:44,689 --> 00:48:45,688
Mona, c'mon...
1354
00:48:45,689 --> 00:48:46,688
No, why, why are you
showing me this shit?
1355
00:48:46,691 --> 00:48:48,090
Is it that bad?
1356
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:49,942
Oh, c'mon, Bernard, look,
1357
00:48:49,943 --> 00:48:51,793
look, I haven't seen you in the
graphic novel department in,
1358
00:48:51,796 --> 00:48:52,595
what, what is it?
1359
00:48:52,597 --> 00:48:53,429
Like 15 years?
1360
00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,263
Right?
1361
00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:55,097
I mean, what is it?
1362
00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:56,165
Slow day in nonfiction
down there?
1363
00:48:56,167 --> 00:48:57,784
Historical nonfiction.
1364
00:48:57,785 --> 00:48:59,402
Believe me, it's a lot slower
than actual nonfiction.
1365
00:48:59,404 --> 00:49:00,436
Why are you pushing this girl?
1366
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:01,270
I'm not pushing her, Mona.
1367
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:02,922
You're pushin' her.
1368
00:49:02,923 --> 00:49:04,573
I'm just soliciting
an objective opinion,
1369
00:49:04,575 --> 00:49:05,408
That's all.
1370
00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:08,110
Here, you got exploding penises!
1371
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:09,929
And what's this?
1372
00:49:09,930 --> 00:49:11,747
Oh, it's a penis that
ejaculates carbon emissions.
1373
00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:12,581
Huh!
1374
00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:14,133
Ooh, oh, here!
1375
00:49:14,134 --> 00:49:15,684
This guy's penis gets
cut off in a subway door!
1376
00:49:15,687 --> 00:49:17,286
Nice, nice...
1377
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,255
Your, uh, your girlfriend's
got a problem with men.
1378
00:49:19,257 --> 00:49:20,623
Stop calling her my girlfriend.
1379
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:21,457
Please.
1380
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:22,291
Oh, give me a break!
1381
00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:23,125
You like this stuff?
1382
00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:23,960
I don't know.
1383
00:49:23,962 --> 00:49:25,728
Bernard, look at this!
1384
00:49:25,729 --> 00:49:27,495
This guy has a cock that
turns into a hangman's noose.
1385
00:49:27,498 --> 00:49:30,099
This, uh, Zelda Beauchamp,
shomp,
1386
00:49:30,101 --> 00:49:31,867
she's got a problem.
1387
00:49:31,869 --> 00:49:32,935
She's a feminist.
1388
00:49:32,937 --> 00:49:33,769
A feminist!
1389
00:49:33,771 --> 00:49:34,937
Stop it!
1390
00:49:34,938 --> 00:49:36,104
I'm a feminist, and I
don't want to hang men
1391
00:49:36,107 --> 00:49:36,939
by their penises.
1392
00:49:36,941 --> 00:49:38,374
She's a sick-o!
1393
00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:39,808
It is the daughter of a
very old friend of mine.
1394
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:41,410
This is not her.
1395
00:49:41,412 --> 00:49:43,713
This is political for her!
1396
00:49:43,715 --> 00:49:46,248
Just use her, can you
use her, just please?
1397
00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:47,717
No, look, you know, no...
1398
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:49,051
In an ebook or something?
1399
00:49:49,053 --> 00:49:51,170
No, I don't like
the pressure, Bernard.
1400
00:49:51,171 --> 00:49:53,288
Need another intern, along
with the other ones you get?
1401
00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:55,958
Zelda... Beauchamp...?
1402
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:56,859
Beauchamp...?
1403
00:49:56,861 --> 00:49:57,693
Ya.
1404
00:49:57,695 --> 00:50:00,196
I knew a Beauchamp years...
1405
00:50:01,032 --> 00:50:01,998
Is that Huey?
1406
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,366
Huey's daughter?
1407
00:50:03,368 --> 00:50:04,200
Are you serious?
1408
00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:05,034
Huey Beauchamp?
1409
00:50:05,036 --> 00:50:05,868
You know Huey?
1410
00:50:05,870 --> 00:50:07,069
Are you fucking kidding me?
1411
00:50:07,071 --> 00:50:08,204
I can tell that you know Huey...
1412
00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:09,171
Are you kidding me!?
1413
00:50:09,173 --> 00:50:10,006
Damm it!
1414
00:50:10,008 --> 00:50:11,440
You bring that shit up here?
1415
00:50:11,442 --> 00:50:13,909
When I go out with, say, a
25-year old,
1416
00:50:13,911 --> 00:50:16,145
I mean, I know, I'm sure
people are whispering,
1417
00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:18,514
"What's that old man doing
with that young girl?"
1418
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,384
But put me in that same
restaurant with, say,
1419
00:50:21,386 --> 00:50:24,353
someone Roz's age,
and all I'm thinking
1420
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:27,423
is, "What's this boyish fellow
doing with this old woman?"
1421
00:50:27,425 --> 00:50:29,392
And, I know, that's horrible!
1422
00:50:29,394 --> 00:50:30,292
Augh!
1423
00:50:31,295 --> 00:50:33,229
I can't help it.
1424
00:50:33,231 --> 00:50:37,033
I'm addicted to youth and
I am bothered by age...
1425
00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:39,368
Mostly mine, I guess.
1426
00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:42,038
But these younger women,
1427
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:46,609
I mean I can't forget AIDS,
which I think is less of a risk,
1428
00:50:46,611 --> 00:50:48,711
I mean, y'know,
with older women because,
1429
00:50:48,713 --> 00:50:52,048
generally, they don't
sleep around as much.
1430
00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:55,584
But, with a younger woman
with experience,
1431
00:50:55,586 --> 00:50:56,619
I mean, how do you know?
1432
00:50:56,621 --> 00:50:59,055
I mean, a woman with
a lot of experience.
1433
00:50:59,057 --> 00:51:00,523
Does she know?
1434
00:51:00,525 --> 00:51:02,525
It's not heavy for them.
1435
00:51:02,527 --> 00:51:05,795
Do they even practice safe sex?
1436
00:51:05,797 --> 00:51:07,963
Y'know, safer sex?
1437
00:51:07,965 --> 00:51:09,065
Jeez.
1438
00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:12,034
I mean, I'd rather just
masturbate.
1439
00:51:13,805 --> 00:51:15,404
I mean, is that it?
1440
00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:17,473
Is that the bottom line?
1441
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,744
In order to play it safe,
1442
00:51:21,746 --> 00:51:23,345
I have to end up marrying
a woman who's old enough
1443
00:51:23,347 --> 00:51:24,580
to be my wife?
1444
00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:28,884
Okay, say, I invited someone to
join us
1445
00:51:28,886 --> 00:51:31,454
who says she used to know you.
1446
00:51:34,959 --> 00:51:36,592
"Put on your shoes."
1447
00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:39,161
"I'll walk you to the subway?"
1448
00:51:48,072 --> 00:51:50,239
You wanna grab a bagel?
1449
00:51:51,142 --> 00:51:53,075
Well, outside of this
particular material, Sid,
1450
00:51:53,077 --> 00:51:56,145
what do you think of her stuff?
1451
00:51:56,147 --> 00:51:58,147
She's very young, but
I don't think R. Crumb
1452
00:51:58,149 --> 00:52:00,516
is the worst influence
in the world, is he?
1453
00:52:00,518 --> 00:52:02,051
We're all influenced, Sid.
1454
00:52:02,053 --> 00:52:03,385
When Art Spiegleman started out,
I'm sure
1455
00:52:03,387 --> 00:52:07,156
his work looked like shit, too,
I suppose.
1456
00:52:07,158 --> 00:52:09,391
Just, sleep on it, please.
1457
00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:14,430
I think she could be an
innovative force at Penguin.
1458
00:52:14,432 --> 00:52:15,564
Just because.
1459
00:52:15,566 --> 00:52:17,933
Our Norton editors don't
understand Millennials,
1460
00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:18,934
that's why.
1461
00:52:20,638 --> 00:52:21,470
Thank you.
1462
00:52:21,472 --> 00:52:22,371
Thank you!
1463
00:52:24,342 --> 00:52:26,942
Well, I already picked
up the tickets, Zelda.
1464
00:52:26,944 --> 00:52:28,177
It's French...
1465
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:31,080
I dunno, I think it's a musical.
1466
00:52:31,082 --> 00:52:32,515
I don't understand.
1467
00:52:32,517 --> 00:52:33,916
Didn't you know about
this Kollective meeting
1468
00:52:33,918 --> 00:52:36,218
when we met at lunch?
1469
00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:37,753
Were you just gonna let me wait
out here
1470
00:52:37,755 --> 00:52:38,687
until the show started?
1471
00:52:38,689 --> 00:52:40,956
What if I hadn't called?
1472
00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:45,161
No, no, I don't think I'm
only thinking of myself.
1473
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:47,997
All right, no, yeah.
1474
00:52:47,999 --> 00:52:52,067
I guess I'm seeing a French
maybe-musical by myself.
1475
00:52:52,069 --> 00:52:53,369
All right, bye.
1476
00:53:00,912 --> 00:53:02,645
You want me to stop, Mona?
1477
00:53:02,647 --> 00:53:03,479
Huey, are you...
1478
00:53:03,481 --> 00:53:04,313
Oh, Mona!
1479
00:53:04,315 --> 00:53:05,147
Don't stop.
1480
00:53:05,149 --> 00:53:06,982
No, don't stop!
1481
00:53:06,984 --> 00:53:07,917
Wait! Wait!
1482
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:11,053
Jesus!
1483
00:53:11,055 --> 00:53:12,221
Give it to me baby!
1484
00:53:12,223 --> 00:53:13,455
Oh, Mona!
1485
00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:25,167
So, did, uh,
she say when she'd be back?
1486
00:53:25,169 --> 00:53:27,203
Not to me.
1487
00:53:27,205 --> 00:53:28,037
That's a cute dog.
1488
00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:28,871
Whose dog is this?
1489
00:53:28,873 --> 00:53:30,172
It's Zelda's.
1490
00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:35,978
She didn't tell me
she had a dog.
1491
00:53:38,115 --> 00:53:39,648
She didn't tell me
she had a dog.
1492
00:53:39,650 --> 00:53:41,383
She got it today.
1493
00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:46,288
Look, we don't know when
she's coming back, okay?
1494
00:53:46,290 --> 00:53:49,992
She didn't tell me she'd
bought a dog.
1495
00:53:53,130 --> 00:53:54,830
You're kidding.
1496
00:54:03,975 --> 00:54:04,807
Oooooh!
1497
00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:05,641
There we go!
1498
00:54:05,643 --> 00:54:06,842
Ooh!
1499
00:54:06,844 --> 00:54:07,810
What?
1500
00:54:07,812 --> 00:54:08,828
Zelda, what...
1501
00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:09,845
Nope, sorry, I'm not here.
1502
00:54:09,847 --> 00:54:10,913
Zelda, I was by your...
1503
00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:12,448
Please record your message.
1504
00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:13,716
Press 1 for more options.
1505
00:54:13,718 --> 00:54:15,017
Zelda, what the...
1506
00:54:15,018 --> 00:54:16,317
The option I want is
"Leave a fucking message!"
1507
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:17,152
At the tone,
1508
00:54:17,154 --> 00:54:17,987
please continue recording.
1509
00:54:17,989 --> 00:54:19,955
Zelda, please call me...
1510
00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:20,790
God, no, I just...
1511
00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:21,624
To continue recording where
1512
00:54:21,626 --> 00:54:23,109
you let off, press 4.
1513
00:54:23,110 --> 00:54:24,593
To send your message with
normal delivery, press 1.
1514
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:28,297
To send your message with
urgent delivery, press 2.
1515
00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:29,898
Bernie, please don't judge me.
1516
00:54:29,900 --> 00:54:30,733
Okay?
1517
00:54:30,735 --> 00:54:31,567
Don't judge you?
1518
00:54:31,569 --> 00:54:32,768
Standing me up, twice...
1519
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:34,303
I mean, you don't return
my calls or texts!
1520
00:54:34,305 --> 00:54:36,705
I'm sorry, it's something
I had to test out.
1521
00:54:36,707 --> 00:54:37,539
So this is a plan?
1522
00:54:37,541 --> 00:54:38,374
This is a plan?
1523
00:54:38,376 --> 00:54:39,842
Yes, yes, deprivation control.
1524
00:54:39,844 --> 00:54:40,860
What the fuck?
1525
00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:41,877
It's important for me to
graph how,
1526
00:54:41,879 --> 00:54:43,812
how much I would miss
you if you were gone.
1527
00:54:43,814 --> 00:54:44,647
So, this is an experiment?
1528
00:54:44,649 --> 00:54:45,481
That's what you're saying.
1529
00:54:45,483 --> 00:54:46,949
This is an experiment?
1530
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:48,416
Yes, yes, and, and
we did it for five days
1531
00:54:48,419 --> 00:54:51,120
and, and I got a lot done, okay?
1532
00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:53,088
I know that it was hard,
but I actually felt
1533
00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:54,290
really inspired during
that time.
1534
00:54:54,292 --> 00:54:55,090
Yeah, yeah.
1535
00:54:55,092 --> 00:54:55,924
You bought a dog.
1536
00:54:55,926 --> 00:54:56,992
Yeah, Fred!
1537
00:54:56,994 --> 00:54:58,394
Are you breaking up with me?
1538
00:54:58,396 --> 00:54:59,895
Is that what's happening?
1539
00:54:59,897 --> 00:55:01,664
Because, because I got Fred?
1540
00:55:01,666 --> 00:55:02,498
I don't know.
1541
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:03,666
Bernie!
1542
00:55:03,668 --> 00:55:05,000
I felt I knew you, I did.
1543
00:55:05,002 --> 00:55:06,235
Oh my God.
1544
00:55:06,237 --> 00:55:07,069
You're being so dramatic.
1545
00:55:07,071 --> 00:55:07,903
I just don't understand.
1546
00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:08,737
Relax!
1547
00:55:08,739 --> 00:55:10,122
Come here.
1548
00:55:10,123 --> 00:55:11,506
I am trying to find a way to
stay with you
1549
00:55:11,509 --> 00:55:13,275
and not go completely insane.
1550
00:55:13,277 --> 00:55:14,109
Okay.
1551
00:55:14,111 --> 00:55:15,010
It's a good thing.
1552
00:55:15,012 --> 00:55:15,978
No, no, stop.
1553
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,346
Come on, come on.
1554
00:55:17,348 --> 00:55:19,415
Look, I have to protect myself,
you know?
1555
00:55:19,417 --> 00:55:20,716
But what about me?
1556
00:55:20,717 --> 00:55:22,016
I don't want you to get hurt,
either.
1557
00:55:22,019 --> 00:55:23,619
Y'know, I'm just trying
to check in
1558
00:55:23,621 --> 00:55:25,688
and be healthy.
1559
00:55:25,690 --> 00:55:27,623
I'm not gonna let you
devour me, Bernie.
1560
00:55:27,625 --> 00:55:29,525
Oh, all right.
1561
00:55:29,527 --> 00:55:31,493
You know what the
hardest part was, though?
1562
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:32,461
What?
1563
00:55:32,463 --> 00:55:35,397
Missing your little ass.
1564
00:55:35,399 --> 00:55:36,231
And your little pot.
1565
00:55:36,233 --> 00:55:37,066
Pot?
1566
00:55:37,068 --> 00:55:38,467
Ohhh.
1567
00:55:38,469 --> 00:55:40,536
You know, my girlfriends
are always talking
1568
00:55:40,537 --> 00:55:42,604
about how old you are, but
I don't even notice it.
1569
00:55:43,507 --> 00:55:46,942
I mean, you tire easily, but I
do have that effect on people.
1570
00:55:48,312 --> 00:55:50,279
Well, we'll fix that.
1571
00:56:14,305 --> 00:56:15,237
Ah-ha.
1572
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:16,905
Can I look?
1573
00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:17,706
Don't tell me.
1574
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:20,075
You don't understand it.
1575
00:56:20,077 --> 00:56:24,546
Hey, you might be getting
a call from Penguin, hmm?
1576
00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:29,218
Hey, you really want
to make yourself useful?
1577
00:56:29,220 --> 00:56:30,552
Mmmm.
1578
00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:32,454
We could use some more beers.
1579
00:56:32,456 --> 00:56:34,189
Oh, it's kind of late.
1580
00:56:34,191 --> 00:56:35,124
You don't mind.
1581
00:56:35,126 --> 00:56:36,425
I just don't know what's open.
1582
00:56:36,427 --> 00:56:37,259
Oh hey, while you're going out,
1583
00:56:37,261 --> 00:56:40,062
could you take the
dog on a walk?
1584
00:56:42,867 --> 00:56:44,099
Thank you so much.
1585
00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:45,000
Yeah.
1586
00:56:46,637 --> 00:56:48,237
Hey, grab a couple cases, okay?
1587
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,705
Yeah.
1588
00:56:54,945 --> 00:56:56,211
Oh, oh.
1589
00:56:56,213 --> 00:56:57,045
Hi.
1590
00:56:57,047 --> 00:56:57,846
Bernard.
1591
00:56:57,848 --> 00:56:58,747
Mona.
1592
00:56:58,749 --> 00:56:59,848
Getting in late, huh?
1593
00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:00,682
G'night.
1594
00:57:00,684 --> 00:57:01,517
Night.
1595
00:57:01,519 --> 00:57:02,451
Morning.
1596
00:57:02,453 --> 00:57:03,352
Morning.
1597
00:57:07,825 --> 00:57:09,625
Later, man.
1598
00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:11,160
It's five a.m.!
1599
00:57:11,162 --> 00:57:13,128
Shank of the evening.
1600
00:57:19,086 --> 00:57:20,369
You're so lucky you get
be around Huey all the time,
1601
00:57:20,371 --> 00:57:21,570
you know?
1602
00:57:21,572 --> 00:57:24,673
He just, he emanates
such an aura.
1603
00:57:24,675 --> 00:57:27,376
I don't think he's changed at
all, do you?
1604
00:57:27,378 --> 00:57:28,610
I mean what, what'd you get?
1605
00:57:28,612 --> 00:57:29,511
Spinach?
1606
00:57:31,148 --> 00:57:32,114
Doesn't look any older.
1607
00:57:32,116 --> 00:57:33,449
I mean, not really.
1608
00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:35,267
He was never boyish.
1609
00:57:35,268 --> 00:57:37,084
He was manly at 23, he's
even more manly now.
1610
00:57:37,087 --> 00:57:39,721
He's just kinda settled
into himself.
1611
00:57:39,723 --> 00:57:41,824
You gonna eat those nuts?
1612
00:57:41,826 --> 00:57:44,059
Bruised, though, you can
tell, really bruised.
1613
00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:45,594
Years have bruised him.
1614
00:57:45,596 --> 00:57:48,764
He's a businessman who dared
to live like an artist.
1615
00:57:48,766 --> 00:57:51,333
But his art is himself.
1616
00:57:51,335 --> 00:57:53,702
He's way more intellectual
than either of my husbands,
1617
00:57:53,704 --> 00:57:57,005
both of whom were
associate professors.
1618
00:57:57,007 --> 00:57:58,640
Okay, well.
1619
00:57:58,642 --> 00:58:00,676
I probably should get
to finishing this salad.
1620
00:58:00,678 --> 00:58:02,344
It's so great to be with
him again!
1621
00:58:02,346 --> 00:58:04,313
I can't believe,
after all these years,
1622
00:58:04,315 --> 00:58:07,483
that our lives have
found each other!
1623
00:58:08,319 --> 00:58:10,085
And that we're still great
in the sack together!
1624
00:58:10,087 --> 00:58:11,120
I mean, it's great...
1625
00:58:11,121 --> 00:58:12,154
You know what, why don't
you just take this salad.
1626
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:13,589
Maybe just have it...
1627
00:58:13,591 --> 00:58:14,623
You sure?
1628
00:58:14,625 --> 00:58:15,457
You don't want it?
1629
00:58:15,459 --> 00:58:16,792
Yeah, I'm gonna get to work,
1630
00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:18,126
and that requires you
not to be here.
1631
00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:20,629
Wait, wait!
1632
00:58:20,631 --> 00:58:22,631
Yeah, lay down, lay down here.
1633
00:58:22,633 --> 00:58:23,465
Ow!
1634
00:58:23,467 --> 00:58:24,299
Oh, no!
1635
00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:25,133
Oh!
1636
00:58:25,135 --> 00:58:26,368
Oh, that's a good girl!
1637
00:58:26,370 --> 00:58:27,269
Huey!
1638
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:30,906
What is happening?
1639
00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:35,344
So, was that Mona last night?
1640
00:58:36,180 --> 00:58:37,679
Huh?
1641
00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:40,849
Last night, was that Mona?
1642
00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:42,184
Did she call?
1643
00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:45,120
No, the screaming, Huey,
the screaming.
1644
00:58:45,122 --> 00:58:47,556
Bernie, keep it down,
man. I'm a bit fragile.
1645
00:58:47,558 --> 00:58:51,193
The woman screaming, Huey.
1646
00:58:51,195 --> 00:58:54,630
That was just loud love-talk,
man.
1647
00:58:54,632 --> 00:58:56,265
Around 10:30?
1648
00:58:56,267 --> 00:58:57,833
That was Debbie.
1649
00:58:57,835 --> 00:58:59,568
Just loud love-talk.
1650
00:59:00,571 --> 00:59:02,271
I didn't get home
till past midnight.
1651
00:59:02,273 --> 00:59:03,739
Who's Debbie?
1652
00:59:03,741 --> 00:59:05,541
Oh, after midnight?
1653
00:59:07,778 --> 00:59:09,344
That was Francine.
1654
00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:12,681
Do you have any Ibuprofen?
1655
00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:13,515
You know I do.
1656
00:59:13,517 --> 00:59:14,349
It's upstairs.
1657
00:59:14,351 --> 00:59:15,784
I haven't been upstairs.
1658
00:59:15,786 --> 00:59:17,252
Well, then, tell the
half-eaten pizza on my bed
1659
00:59:17,254 --> 00:59:19,988
that you have not been upstairs!
1660
00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:21,657
Oh, that was Leigh.
1661
00:59:21,659 --> 00:59:22,491
What?
1662
00:59:22,493 --> 00:59:23,992
L-E-I-G-H.
1663
00:59:23,994 --> 00:59:25,527
Oh...
1664
00:59:25,529 --> 00:59:27,262
Hell of a life, huh?
1665
00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,633
Hell of a life.
1666
00:59:31,635 --> 00:59:32,701
Jesus.
1667
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:43,879
Hello?
1668
00:59:43,881 --> 00:59:44,713
Who am I?
1669
00:59:44,715 --> 00:59:46,448
Who is this?
1670
00:59:46,450 --> 00:59:48,383
Do you know what time it is?
1671
00:59:48,385 --> 00:59:50,235
No.
1672
00:59:50,236 --> 00:59:52,086
No, I don't know if Huey
is here and I don't care.
1673
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:55,290
He told you this was his cell?
1674
00:59:56,126 --> 00:59:56,959
All right. Well, don't cry.
1675
00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:57,859
Hold on.
1676
00:59:59,063 --> 00:59:59,962
Huey!
1677
01:00:01,899 --> 01:00:03,365
Huey!
1678
01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:04,266
Oh, hi.
1679
01:00:05,436 --> 01:00:08,270
Hey Roz, will you
grab me a beer on the way back?
1680
01:00:08,272 --> 01:00:09,571
There's a call for you!
1681
01:00:09,573 --> 01:00:10,906
On your "cell!"
1682
01:00:11,675 --> 01:00:12,641
All right, hey, man.
1683
01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:13,508
No problem.
1684
01:00:13,510 --> 01:00:14,343
You!
1685
01:00:14,345 --> 01:00:15,510
Need therapy!
1686
01:00:16,580 --> 01:00:19,881
♫ She was a
teenage debutante... ♫
So she says,
1687
01:00:19,883 --> 01:00:22,150
"No person should ever treat
another human being like you
treat me."
1688
01:00:22,152 --> 01:00:23,986
Well, your
actions were high-handed.
1689
01:00:23,988 --> 01:00:26,188
So I said, "Look, don't bug
me!"
1690
01:00:26,190 --> 01:00:27,956
"Nobody asked you to come over."
1691
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,558
No, that's perfectly true.
1692
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:32,628
So she says, "You rob me
of my dignity."
1693
01:00:32,630 --> 01:00:33,895
"Don't I mean anything to you?"
1694
01:00:33,897 --> 01:00:35,430
Well, no, I can see her point
of view.
1695
01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:38,133
I mean, you must admit
there's no real relationship.
1696
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:41,470
So I say, "Look, don't
bug me. I'm late for class."
1697
01:00:41,472 --> 01:00:43,572
See, I think you're
setting up a confrontation.
1698
01:00:43,574 --> 01:00:44,940
So, man, she goes wild!
1699
01:00:44,942 --> 01:00:47,175
Starts ripping open my
Circle Jerk bootleg tapes,
1700
01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:48,644
pulls 'em out like linguini.
1701
01:00:48,646 --> 01:00:50,178
That's
exactly what I mean, Huey.
1702
01:00:50,180 --> 01:00:51,146
That's not how I would have
handled the...
1703
01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:52,781
So I spanked her.
1704
01:00:54,418 --> 01:00:55,884
You didn't!
1705
01:00:55,886 --> 01:00:57,386
Fuckin' A, I did.
1706
01:00:57,388 --> 01:00:59,021
Over my lap.
1707
01:00:59,023 --> 01:01:00,455
A love pat, really.
1708
01:01:00,457 --> 01:01:01,523
I don't...
1709
01:01:02,693 --> 01:01:03,725
I do not think...
1710
01:01:03,727 --> 01:01:06,194
I mean, I think that is wrong,
Huey.
1711
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:08,430
I know you're gonna get
mad at me, but I think
1712
01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:09,631
that is very, very wrong.
1713
01:01:09,633 --> 01:01:11,767
Man, she loved it!
1714
01:01:11,769 --> 01:01:13,301
Fell all over me.
1715
01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:14,419
What?
1716
01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:15,536
I didn't get to class
for a week.
1717
01:01:15,539 --> 01:01:18,440
Jesus.
1718
01:01:20,310 --> 01:01:21,376
You want another beer?
1719
01:01:21,378 --> 01:01:22,277
No.
1720
01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:28,850
I thought you graduated.
1721
01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:31,253
It's as if the last
25 years never happened.
1722
01:01:31,255 --> 01:01:32,721
And my loft is a goddamn circus!
1723
01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:34,022
A brothel!
1724
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:35,624
And the phone doesn't
stop ringing!
1725
01:01:35,626 --> 01:01:36,625
And I have to take his messages!
1726
01:01:36,627 --> 01:01:38,226
And he has a cellphone!
1727
01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:39,761
I know he does!
1728
01:01:39,762 --> 01:01:41,295
But he just doesn't give
out the number?
1729
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:42,864
I think, I think out of spite
he's giving
1730
01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:43,865
them my home phone.
1731
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:44,700
I don't know.
1732
01:01:44,702 --> 01:01:45,718
You know?
1733
01:01:45,719 --> 01:01:46,735
And I put in a long day,
lemme tell you.
1734
01:01:46,737 --> 01:01:48,103
No matter what you all may think
1735
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:49,838
about historical nonfiction,
1736
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,506
I don't wanna come home
to the phone ringing
1737
01:01:51,508 --> 01:01:53,141
off the goddamn hook,
and I have to look for
1738
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:55,010
a goddamn pen and some paper.
1739
01:01:55,012 --> 01:01:56,244
And for who?
1740
01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:57,079
For who?
1741
01:01:57,081 --> 01:01:57,913
For Huey?
1742
01:01:57,915 --> 01:01:58,747
For your dad?
1743
01:01:58,749 --> 01:01:59,715
Fuck that!
1744
01:01:59,717 --> 01:02:01,016
Are you ser...?
1745
01:02:02,052 --> 01:02:05,053
How much poop can a
small dog have?
1746
01:02:05,923 --> 01:02:08,356
You know, one moment,
he is so attentive,
1747
01:02:08,358 --> 01:02:11,193
and the next, it's like he's
like he's the invisible man.
1748
01:02:11,195 --> 01:02:12,027
You know?
1749
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:12,994
I mean, is it something
I'm doing?
1750
01:02:12,996 --> 01:02:13,829
No.
1751
01:02:13,831 --> 01:02:14,663
I ask him if
something's wrong...
1752
01:02:14,665 --> 01:02:15,914
It's not you.
1753
01:02:15,915 --> 01:02:17,164
And he gives me that look,
that face, that's, that's
1754
01:02:17,167 --> 01:02:19,468
like straight from the grave.
1755
01:02:19,470 --> 01:02:20,719
Ohhh.
1756
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:21,969
Yesterday afternoon,
I called him.
1757
01:02:21,972 --> 01:02:24,873
He said hold on, never
came back to the phone.
1758
01:02:24,875 --> 01:02:25,674
Never.
1759
01:02:25,676 --> 01:02:26,508
No.
1760
01:02:26,510 --> 01:02:28,043
Never comes back.
1761
01:02:28,044 --> 01:02:29,577
And just when I think
I'm at the end of my rope,
1762
01:02:29,578 --> 01:02:31,111
he does something terrific or
he says something terrific,
1763
01:02:31,115 --> 01:02:32,147
and...
1764
01:02:32,149 --> 01:02:33,048
That's what he does.
1765
01:02:33,050 --> 01:02:34,149
I warned you.
1766
01:02:34,151 --> 01:02:35,517
It's a disease.
It's really a disease.
1767
01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:36,685
...hanging by his
own penis
1768
01:02:36,687 --> 01:02:39,755
I wish there was some drug,
some anti-Huey-biotic.
1769
01:02:39,757 --> 01:02:42,157
You ever experience anything
like this?
1770
01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:45,093
Hmm?
1771
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:46,027
Uh...
1772
01:02:46,029 --> 01:02:46,962
Okay, that's all right.
1773
01:02:46,964 --> 01:02:48,430
Yes.
1774
01:02:48,432 --> 01:02:49,831
I don't have to defend myself.
1775
01:02:49,833 --> 01:02:51,767
That's not why I'm here.
1776
01:02:51,769 --> 01:02:53,535
And I certainly
don't need to feel guilty.
1777
01:02:53,537 --> 01:02:54,903
Oh, but I do?
1778
01:02:54,905 --> 01:02:56,171
Is that it?
1779
01:02:56,173 --> 01:02:57,806
What do you see in him, Roz?
1780
01:02:57,807 --> 01:02:59,440
Because I keep playing it
over and over in my mind.
1781
01:02:59,443 --> 01:03:00,642
You're a victim.
1782
01:03:00,644 --> 01:03:01,910
You're an accident victim.
1783
01:03:01,912 --> 01:03:03,578
I am not a victim!
1784
01:03:03,580 --> 01:03:05,063
That would be,
1785
01:03:05,064 --> 01:03:06,547
it would be like
blaming a pedestrian
1786
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:08,216
for getting hit by a semi.
1787
01:03:08,218 --> 01:03:09,050
He's fat!
1788
01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:10,619
He's old, he's bald!
1789
01:03:10,621 --> 01:03:11,686
He looks 60!
1790
01:03:12,523 --> 01:03:13,355
So, what is it?
1791
01:03:13,357 --> 01:03:14,256
What do you see, Roz?
1792
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:15,257
He doesn't look 60.
1793
01:03:15,259 --> 01:03:16,358
Oh, please, okay, yeah.
1794
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:17,459
Take his side.
1795
01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:18,559
And don't you
dare call me a victim.
1796
01:03:18,562 --> 01:03:20,295
How could you let him?
1797
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:23,031
With our friendship is
at stake here?
1798
01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:24,366
What about Zelda?
1799
01:03:24,368 --> 01:03:25,200
What, no!
1800
01:03:25,202 --> 01:03:26,034
No.
1801
01:03:26,036 --> 01:03:28,270
What, Zelda and I
could never have
1802
01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:29,437
what you and I had.
1803
01:03:29,439 --> 01:03:30,906
Such as?
1804
01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:31,907
Companionship!
1805
01:03:31,909 --> 01:03:33,408
Fucking trust!
1806
01:03:33,410 --> 01:03:36,194
All right?
1807
01:03:36,195 --> 01:03:38,979
What Zelda and I have is
something completely different.
1808
01:03:39,783 --> 01:03:40,615
Are you all right?
1809
01:03:40,617 --> 01:03:42,467
Yes!
1810
01:03:42,468 --> 01:03:44,318
Look, Zelda is very
aware of what she's doing.
1811
01:03:44,321 --> 01:03:45,387
So am I.
1812
01:03:45,389 --> 01:03:46,988
We're working it out.
1813
01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:48,256
All right?
1814
01:03:48,257 --> 01:03:49,523
But you, you're the
only one I can talk to,
1815
01:03:49,526 --> 01:03:50,826
really talk to.
1816
01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:54,396
So ask yourself,
why did you do it?
1817
01:03:54,398 --> 01:03:56,097
It's some kind of a
reverse miracle.
1818
01:03:56,099 --> 01:03:59,000
No, don't! Aw, you, gaahhhh!
1819
01:03:59,870 --> 01:04:02,003
I hate your analyst's voice.
1820
01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:03,171
Huey set you up.
1821
01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:04,005
What?
1822
01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:05,307
Okay, yeah, Huey set me up!
1823
01:04:05,309 --> 01:04:06,208
How did Huey set me?
1824
01:04:06,210 --> 01:04:07,042
What?
1825
01:04:07,044 --> 01:04:07,876
You mean Zelda?
1826
01:04:07,878 --> 01:04:08,710
No!
1827
01:04:08,712 --> 01:04:10,378
You told me to see Zelda!
1828
01:04:10,380 --> 01:04:13,014
You're the only one I
listen to, so you ask.
1829
01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:14,449
What do you mean, hmm?
1830
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:15,550
What do you mean?
1831
01:04:15,552 --> 01:04:17,519
What do you mean,
Huey set me up?
1832
01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:18,653
Explain it to me.
1833
01:04:18,655 --> 01:04:20,622
You've gone back to being the
old Bernard.
1834
01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:21,456
No!
1835
01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,392
No!
1836
01:04:23,393 --> 01:04:25,327
And he's gone back
to being the old Huey.
1837
01:04:25,329 --> 01:04:26,761
Think about it!
1838
01:04:26,763 --> 01:04:29,331
And then you explain it to me.
1839
01:04:34,972 --> 01:04:35,871
Bernard!
1840
01:04:41,478 --> 01:04:43,011
Mmmmm...
1841
01:04:43,013 --> 01:04:43,912
Bernard!
1842
01:04:47,284 --> 01:04:48,183
Aha!
1843
01:04:49,953 --> 01:04:52,354
Two ships that pass
in the night.
1844
01:04:52,356 --> 01:04:55,090
Not good for a relationship.
1845
01:04:55,092 --> 01:04:58,293
I brought a little,
a little toast.
1846
01:04:58,295 --> 01:05:00,729
To lovin' 'em and leavin' 'em,
1847
01:05:00,731 --> 01:05:03,064
and lovin' 'em and leavin'
again, baby!
1848
01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:04,266
Huey, listen.
1849
01:05:04,268 --> 01:05:06,101
No, hey, you listen.
1850
01:05:06,103 --> 01:05:08,870
All I am is a fucking Machine.
1851
01:05:08,872 --> 01:05:09,704
Right?
1852
01:05:09,706 --> 01:05:12,007
Now, I'll admit, I'll grant you,
1853
01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:14,175
that machine was broken.
1854
01:05:14,177 --> 01:05:17,012
It needed to go into the shop.
1855
01:05:17,014 --> 01:05:18,413
You're the shop.
1856
01:05:19,616 --> 01:05:21,549
I offered you the
service contract,
1857
01:05:21,551 --> 01:05:24,819
and you could have said,
"Hey, man!"
1858
01:05:24,821 --> 01:05:26,488
"Get this Machine off my lot."
1859
01:05:26,490 --> 01:05:27,722
"It's totaled!"
1860
01:05:28,525 --> 01:05:30,592
"It's totaled!"
1861
01:05:30,594 --> 01:05:32,894
Hey, but now, I'm repaired.
1862
01:05:35,132 --> 01:05:36,798
Top gear.
1863
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:38,583
Huh?
1864
01:05:38,584 --> 01:05:40,367
I mean, not it's not,
I'm not state-of-the-art.
1865
01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:42,904
Y'know, that's Youth-City.
1866
01:05:42,906 --> 01:05:45,440
But I mean, you know, I mean,
I can't do
1867
01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:46,574
what I could.
1868
01:05:47,844 --> 01:05:49,311
But I can travel.
1869
01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:51,780
Y'know?
1870
01:05:51,782 --> 01:05:53,448
I can hug the road.
1871
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:56,851
I can still corner pretty well.
1872
01:05:59,423 --> 01:06:01,389
You put that thing in
cruise control.
1873
01:06:01,391 --> 01:06:04,159
Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, don't move!
1874
01:06:04,161 --> 01:06:05,694
Aughhh-hohhh.
1875
01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:08,463
I'm in tune.
1876
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:11,433
And I owe you.
1877
01:06:12,736 --> 01:06:14,502
Huey is tuned!
1878
01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:15,704
Great.
1879
01:06:15,706 --> 01:06:18,273
Then why don't you get
you and your Machine,
1880
01:06:18,275 --> 01:06:20,742
and get the hell out of here?
1881
01:06:29,686 --> 01:06:30,585
Wow.
1882
01:06:32,522 --> 01:06:34,522
That's fucked up.
1883
01:06:36,727 --> 01:06:39,127
I don't even like champagne!
1884
01:06:44,735 --> 01:06:45,767
This is more like it, Zelda.
1885
01:06:45,769 --> 01:06:47,902
This is really good stuff.
1886
01:06:47,904 --> 01:06:48,737
Really?
1887
01:06:48,739 --> 01:06:49,571
Yeah.
1888
01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:50,772
It's looser.
1889
01:06:50,774 --> 01:06:52,707
It's funnier, less angry.
1890
01:06:52,709 --> 01:06:55,243
It's more knowledgeable
about men,
1891
01:06:55,245 --> 01:06:56,111
seems to me,
1892
01:06:56,113 --> 01:06:58,713
and there aren't any...
1893
01:06:58,715 --> 01:07:01,249
Nope, nope,
no exploding penises.
1894
01:07:01,251 --> 01:07:03,985
So, yeah, this, this could sell.
1895
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:06,421
You really think so.
1896
01:07:06,423 --> 01:07:07,288
Yeah.
1897
01:07:07,290 --> 01:07:08,456
Oh, Bernie.
1898
01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:13,194
I have to say, I'm
kind of relieved, y'know.
1899
01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:15,363
I admit that
1900
01:07:15,364 --> 01:07:16,530
I let my imagination run away
with me,
1901
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:17,866
and I started to think that
1902
01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:21,102
work might be the only
reason that we're...
1903
01:07:21,104 --> 01:07:22,404
That maybe there was
somebody else.
1904
01:07:22,406 --> 01:07:23,505
And, um...
1905
01:07:23,507 --> 01:07:24,372
But now you show me this,
1906
01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:26,608
and it's wonderful, and...
1907
01:07:28,045 --> 01:07:30,345
I just take pride.
1908
01:07:30,347 --> 01:07:31,312
Such pride.
1909
01:07:33,016 --> 01:07:35,016
'Cause I kinda think that,
forgive me,
1910
01:07:35,018 --> 01:07:36,284
that I had a little,
1911
01:07:36,286 --> 01:07:38,553
a little something to do
with this,
1912
01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:40,188
this change in you.
1913
01:07:41,358 --> 01:07:42,190
Oh.
1914
01:07:42,192 --> 01:07:44,859
This kind of humanizing factor.
1915
01:07:44,861 --> 01:07:45,760
But I should tell you that.
1916
01:07:45,762 --> 01:07:47,462
Hold on, hold on!
1917
01:07:47,464 --> 01:07:49,731
That's not the best news.
1918
01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:51,399
I kicked out Huey!
1919
01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:52,500
Yeah, I kicked him out.
1920
01:07:52,502 --> 01:07:55,136
Now we can have my
place to ourselves,
1921
01:07:55,138 --> 01:07:58,039
and you can see my place
as it is,
1922
01:07:58,041 --> 01:07:59,741
and see me as I am.
1923
01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:00,575
It's kinda perfect.
1924
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:01,910
Wow.
1925
01:08:01,912 --> 01:08:05,246
Okay, uh, but, but, I should
tell you
1926
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:08,550
that, um, I have met someone,
in a way,
1927
01:08:09,352 --> 01:08:11,886
he's my new collaborator.
1928
01:08:11,888 --> 01:08:13,705
Oh.
1929
01:08:13,706 --> 01:08:15,523
If you check the, uh, the
signature there, on the...
1930
01:08:15,525 --> 01:08:16,524
"Zelda and Scott."
1931
01:08:16,526 --> 01:08:17,358
I was wondering...
1932
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:18,193
Yeah.
1933
01:08:18,195 --> 01:08:19,094
I thought it was a gag, or...
1934
01:08:19,096 --> 01:08:20,562
Well, um, his name is
Conrad Scott,
1935
01:08:20,564 --> 01:08:22,030
and that's where the yeah...
1936
01:08:22,032 --> 01:08:23,631
That was his idea.
1937
01:08:23,633 --> 01:08:25,733
He actually did most
of the dialogue.
1938
01:08:25,735 --> 01:08:27,635
The stuff that went in,
in the bubbles?
1939
01:08:27,637 --> 01:08:28,470
Yeah...
1940
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:29,504
Yeah, that was all him.
1941
01:08:29,506 --> 01:08:31,039
And, I mean, who knew I would
let a man
1942
01:08:31,041 --> 01:08:33,108
put words in my mouth, right?
1943
01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:34,559
Right.
1944
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:36,009
But, you know,
this guy is magical!
1945
01:08:36,012 --> 01:08:37,545
I mean, it just,
it flows out of him.
1946
01:08:37,547 --> 01:08:38,580
You, you won't believe it,
1947
01:08:38,582 --> 01:08:41,349
it's like this
incredible force...
1948
01:08:41,351 --> 01:08:42,617
No, it's great.
1949
01:08:42,618 --> 01:08:43,884
I mean, it can't just be me,
y'know.
1950
01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:45,820
You need a collaborator.
1951
01:08:45,822 --> 01:08:46,888
It's great that you need that.
1952
01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:48,022
And someone to
collaborate with...
1953
01:08:48,024 --> 01:08:48,857
Yeah.
1954
01:08:48,859 --> 01:08:50,726
I really, I just,
1955
01:08:50,727 --> 01:08:52,594
I think he's going to be the
most amazing partner for me.
1956
01:08:52,596 --> 01:08:53,428
Work partner.
1957
01:08:53,430 --> 01:08:55,213
Yeah.
1958
01:08:55,214 --> 01:08:56,997
I think he could really
take me all the way, y'know.
1959
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,968
We could, we could really
make it big together.
1960
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:01,936
Change the world.
1961
01:09:01,938 --> 01:09:02,770
So...
1962
01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:03,755
It's great.
1963
01:09:03,756 --> 01:09:04,739
And I know he wants to meet you.
1964
01:09:04,741 --> 01:09:05,640
Awesome.
1965
01:09:10,213 --> 01:09:11,112
Ahhh!
1966
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:13,615
Ohhh!
1967
01:09:13,617 --> 01:09:16,851
Y'see, Bernie, what,
what Zelda is
1968
01:09:16,853 --> 01:09:19,587
is the view from the female gut.
1969
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:22,991
She offers us pussy-vision.
1970
01:09:24,194 --> 01:09:25,026
Ah.
1971
01:09:25,028 --> 01:09:27,195
She is true and fearless beyond
1972
01:09:27,197 --> 01:09:29,063
the concept of a concept.
1973
01:09:29,065 --> 01:09:30,465
The Super Bowl of truth.
1974
01:09:30,467 --> 01:09:33,168
The kingdom of what is and what
ain't and
1975
01:09:33,170 --> 01:09:35,670
never, no, never,
what should be.
1976
01:09:35,672 --> 01:09:39,140
Take it down, my friend,
take it down.
1977
01:09:39,142 --> 01:09:41,376
Oh, her internal rhythms
1978
01:09:41,378 --> 01:09:45,346
are the syncopation of
ambivalent regard,
1979
01:09:45,348 --> 01:09:48,516
the duality of
improvisational karma,
1980
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:53,188
the existential corollary
of the four a.m. fuck.
1981
01:09:53,190 --> 01:09:54,822
She is deep, and she is dirty.
1982
01:09:54,824 --> 01:09:58,893
I love, and I mean truly
fuckin' love, the balls
1983
01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:03,364
on this here female.
1984
01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:09,904
Well, um, we should
probably get up from this...
1985
01:10:09,906 --> 01:10:13,675
It was, uh, awesome getting to
meet you.
1986
01:10:13,677 --> 01:10:15,176
Isn't he just outrageous?
1987
01:10:15,178 --> 01:10:17,145
He is something.
1988
01:10:17,147 --> 01:10:18,496
Absolute pleasure.
1989
01:10:18,497 --> 01:10:19,846
I heard you're a poet as well,
yeah?
1990
01:10:19,849 --> 01:10:21,416
Yeah yeah yeah.
1991
01:10:21,418 --> 01:10:22,317
Yeah, very nice.
1992
01:10:22,319 --> 01:10:23,151
I mean, that was a,
1993
01:10:23,153 --> 01:10:25,587
yeah, there, at the time,
I was...
1994
01:10:25,589 --> 01:10:26,788
I was doing poetry.
1995
01:10:26,790 --> 01:10:27,622
I would love to hear some.
1996
01:10:27,624 --> 01:10:28,607
Yeah, Bernie, do some!
1997
01:10:28,608 --> 01:10:29,591
Oh, I didn't bring it,
if I did, though,
1998
01:10:29,593 --> 01:10:30,625
it's very much like yours.
1999
01:10:30,626 --> 01:10:31,658
It's very sensual and sexual
and uh...
2000
01:10:31,661 --> 01:10:33,628
He is everything you told me
about.
2001
01:10:33,630 --> 01:10:34,462
Isn't he a gas?
2002
01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:35,580
Yeah.
2003
01:10:35,581 --> 01:10:36,697
Yeah, but I did
a lot of slams back then...
2004
01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:37,565
I love this guy.
2005
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:38,600
And open mic kinda things.
2006
01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,368
Very good.
2007
01:10:40,370 --> 01:10:41,269
Yeah.
2008
01:10:43,473 --> 01:10:44,639
Why do you want to know?
2009
01:10:44,641 --> 01:10:45,573
I'll tell you how much I make.
2010
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:46,674
I'm not interested.
2011
01:10:46,676 --> 01:10:47,842
Why, you think you make more?
2012
01:10:47,844 --> 01:10:49,310
Is that a turn-off?
2013
01:10:49,312 --> 01:10:51,879
You are suffering
from a serious illness!
2014
01:10:51,881 --> 01:10:53,314
It's a turn-on.
2015
01:10:53,316 --> 01:10:54,732
For a woman to make more?
2016
01:10:54,733 --> 01:10:56,149
Yeah, but I doubt if
you make more than I do.
2017
01:10:56,152 --> 01:10:56,985
Really?
2018
01:10:56,987 --> 01:10:57,969
What do you do?
2019
01:10:57,970 --> 01:10:58,952
You're dressed like a
government stiff.
2020
01:10:58,955 --> 01:11:00,121
There are people plotting
to kill us!
2021
01:11:00,122 --> 01:11:01,288
And this is the conversation
you want to have
2022
01:11:01,291 --> 01:11:02,690
milliseconds before?
2023
01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:04,025
DMV?
2024
01:11:04,027 --> 01:11:04,993
I'm in insurance.
2025
01:11:04,995 --> 01:11:06,127
What about you?
2026
01:11:06,129 --> 01:11:06,961
Oh, this is degrading.
2027
01:11:06,963 --> 01:11:08,329
I'm an attorney.
2028
01:11:08,330 --> 01:11:09,696
Christ, I'll bet you do
make more.
2029
01:11:09,699 --> 01:11:10,665
Public defender.
2030
01:11:10,667 --> 01:11:11,866
Oh, no, I probably do make more.
2031
01:11:11,868 --> 01:11:14,302
"Do you wanna fuck?"
2032
01:11:14,304 --> 01:11:16,304
Let's just get to that.
2033
01:11:16,306 --> 01:11:18,273
"Do you want to fuck?"
2034
01:11:18,275 --> 01:11:19,540
My clients, though.
2035
01:11:19,542 --> 01:11:20,608
Them, too.
2036
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,377
It's the judges, other lawyers,
2037
01:11:22,379 --> 01:11:23,611
it's just not what I'm used to.
2038
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,580
So I'm going into corporate law.
2039
01:11:25,582 --> 01:11:26,981
Christ, you'll clean up.
2040
01:11:26,983 --> 01:11:28,149
I expect to.
2041
01:11:28,151 --> 01:11:28,983
Otherwise...
2042
01:11:28,985 --> 01:11:30,151
You live alone?
2043
01:11:30,153 --> 01:11:30,985
Bullshit!
2044
01:11:30,987 --> 01:11:31,819
No.
2045
01:11:31,821 --> 01:11:32,887
- You don't?
- Bullshit!
2046
01:11:32,888 --> 01:11:33,954
Who can afford to live alone?
2047
01:11:33,957 --> 01:11:36,791
Where are my contemporaries?
2048
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,459
I live in a world without peers.
2049
01:11:38,461 --> 01:11:39,560
Where are my peers?
2050
01:11:39,562 --> 01:11:40,395
They are married,
2051
01:11:40,397 --> 01:11:41,529
with grown children...
2052
01:11:41,531 --> 01:11:42,697
I don't live alone either.
2053
01:11:42,699 --> 01:11:44,632
Whom I sleep with.
2054
01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:45,933
I've got three roommates.
2055
01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:47,101
How many do you have?
2056
01:11:47,103 --> 01:11:47,935
Roommates?
2057
01:11:47,937 --> 01:11:48,770
Yeah.
2058
01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:50,071
One.
2059
01:11:50,072 --> 01:11:51,371
I've lost the strength
to be as shallow at 49
2060
01:11:51,374 --> 01:11:52,974
as I was at 24.
2061
01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:54,208
One?
2062
01:11:55,111 --> 01:11:56,411
Oh.
2063
01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:57,745
You're married, right?
2064
01:11:57,747 --> 01:11:58,946
In a way.
2065
01:11:58,948 --> 01:11:59,781
Separated?
2066
01:11:59,783 --> 01:12:00,715
Practically.
2067
01:12:00,716 --> 01:12:01,648
But you haven't moved out yet?
2068
01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:02,884
I'm as good as moved out.
2069
01:12:02,886 --> 01:12:03,951
I'm just not a loner, you know?
2070
01:12:03,953 --> 01:12:05,887
I'm not good by myself.
2071
01:12:05,889 --> 01:12:07,405
You should get used to it.
2072
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:08,922
What is wrong with this picture?
2073
01:12:08,925 --> 01:12:09,757
So?
2074
01:12:09,758 --> 01:12:10,590
Just waiting to meet the
right girl
2075
01:12:10,593 --> 01:12:11,693
and then...
2076
01:12:11,695 --> 01:12:12,560
Then you'll move out?
2077
01:12:12,562 --> 01:12:14,028
What's to keep me?
2078
01:12:14,030 --> 01:12:15,363
Being such a tool.
2079
01:12:15,365 --> 01:12:16,931
I'm still in it.
2080
01:12:22,372 --> 01:12:26,307
It's been an hour, chief.
2081
01:12:26,309 --> 01:12:27,141
No problem.
2082
01:12:43,259 --> 01:12:44,258
Later, man.
2083
01:12:50,934 --> 01:12:53,935
Still a midnight worker,
eh, Marty?
2084
01:12:57,240 --> 01:13:00,541
You're supposed to be dead, you shit!
2085
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:03,845
Did you ever talk to her, huh?
2086
01:13:03,847 --> 01:13:04,746
Just once?
2087
01:13:07,484 --> 01:13:10,818
Just once in five years, huh,
you shit?
2088
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:15,523
Mama thought you were dead.
2089
01:13:15,525 --> 01:13:17,492
Mama hated me, Marty.
2090
01:13:21,998 --> 01:13:24,832
Of course she hated you,
you shit.
2091
01:13:24,834 --> 01:13:26,000
Everybody hated you.
2092
01:13:29,572 --> 01:13:31,038
You had more than all of us
2093
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:35,710
and you've done nothing with
your life but hurt people.
2094
01:13:37,447 --> 01:13:39,847
I wanted to be like you.
2095
01:13:39,849 --> 01:13:40,681
I imitated you.
2096
01:13:40,683 --> 01:13:41,783
Did you know that?
2097
01:13:41,785 --> 01:13:43,551
I imitated the way
that you walked
2098
01:13:43,553 --> 01:13:46,587
and how you talked and,
and I wanted to be you,
2099
01:13:46,589 --> 01:13:48,723
so I imitated you.
2100
01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:50,391
You're my fucking
little brother,
2101
01:13:50,393 --> 01:13:52,794
and I wanted to be like you!
2102
01:13:55,064 --> 01:13:57,899
You've had nothing but
contempt for all of us.
2103
01:13:57,901 --> 01:13:59,867
Where do you get off, huh?
2104
01:13:59,869 --> 01:14:00,701
Jesus!
2105
01:14:00,703 --> 01:14:01,602
Fuck you!
2106
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,407
You should be dead.
2107
01:14:07,677 --> 01:14:09,477
Where do you get off?
2108
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,880
By rights, you're dead.
2109
01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:31,232
You, uh, remember my little
girl, Zelda?
2110
01:14:32,402 --> 01:14:34,101
Yes.
2111
01:14:34,103 --> 01:14:36,204
Little Zelda's all grown up.
2112
01:14:36,206 --> 01:14:37,104
Good.
2113
01:14:38,208 --> 01:14:39,106
She, um...
2114
01:14:41,911 --> 01:14:44,545
She wants to do greeting cards.
2115
01:14:47,450 --> 01:14:50,251
I figured you could
use the work.
2116
01:15:11,508 --> 01:15:12,440
You run a lot?
2117
01:15:12,442 --> 01:15:13,341
Hi.
2118
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:17,311
Yeah, I just started
running again.
2119
01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:20,014
I stopped because I was
thinking too much, y'know.
2120
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,383
I was always getting
lost in my head,
2121
01:15:22,385 --> 01:15:24,819
and I don't need another
reason to be there, y'know?
2122
01:15:24,821 --> 01:15:26,287
I should get ear buds.
2123
01:15:26,289 --> 01:15:28,856
They say listening to music
will keep you out of your head.
2124
01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:30,525
I see you don't wear any.
2125
01:15:30,527 --> 01:15:31,592
I noticed you don't have them.
2126
01:15:31,594 --> 01:15:35,329
Maybe you don't have
the same problem as me.
2127
01:15:40,069 --> 01:15:41,636
Will you marry me?
2128
01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:49,010
I fucking hate running.
2129
01:16:06,696 --> 01:16:08,462
"If you spend your life
avoiding hurt,"
2130
01:16:08,464 --> 01:16:10,097
"you spend your life
avoiding life."
2131
01:16:10,099 --> 01:16:11,699
That's pretty good!
2132
01:16:11,701 --> 01:16:13,100
Christ Almighty!
2133
01:16:13,937 --> 01:16:15,169
You fucking...
2134
01:16:16,739 --> 01:16:18,973
"Zelda and Scott dot-com?"
2135
01:16:52,475 --> 01:16:53,441
Please enter your password,
2136
01:16:53,443 --> 01:16:54,976
then press pound.
2137
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,947
You have one new voice message.
2138
01:17:03,286 --> 01:17:06,187
Bernie, uh, you're
not answering your cell.
2139
01:17:06,189 --> 01:17:08,956
Listen, I know I gave
you a hard time, Bernie,
2140
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:11,125
and I really am sorry,
2141
01:17:11,127 --> 01:17:13,828
y'know, even if we don't
see each other again,
2142
01:17:13,830 --> 01:17:15,429
and I really hope we do,
2143
01:17:15,431 --> 01:17:19,066
I just want you to know
that I think in your own way
2144
01:17:19,068 --> 01:17:22,637
you actually brought my
family back together again.
2145
01:17:22,639 --> 01:17:23,471
Uuccch.
2146
01:17:23,473 --> 01:17:25,706
And me and Huey.
2147
01:17:25,708 --> 01:17:28,809
So, y'know, that's all I wanted
to say.
2148
01:17:28,811 --> 01:17:30,978
Um, oh, also, we're
going to brunch tomorrow
2149
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:33,814
and my father says if you
wanna come,
2150
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:37,151
and I would also like
that very much.
2151
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:39,220
And, ya know, whatever else,
2152
01:17:39,222 --> 01:17:42,323
you'll always be, uh an
important transitional figure
2153
01:17:42,325 --> 01:17:43,624
in my life.
2154
01:17:43,626 --> 01:17:45,793
So call me back.
2155
01:17:45,795 --> 01:17:47,662
Or, you know, don't.
2156
01:17:47,664 --> 01:17:48,562
Whatever.
2157
01:17:53,503 --> 01:17:57,104
Babe, V.I. Lenin accommodated
to circumstance, right?
2158
01:17:57,106 --> 01:17:58,906
Moammar Quadafi accommodated
to circumstance.
2159
01:17:58,908 --> 01:18:01,108
Idi Amin accommodated
to circumstance.
2160
01:18:01,110 --> 01:18:03,477
Take it down, bae, really.
2161
01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:05,546
They all maintained their
agendas, right?
2162
01:18:05,548 --> 01:18:09,250
You and me, through comic copulation,
2163
01:18:09,252 --> 01:18:11,886
we bugger the bourgeois consciousness.
2164
01:18:11,888 --> 01:18:13,587
Can I help you today, sir?
2165
01:18:13,589 --> 01:18:15,156
Uhhh...
2166
01:18:15,158 --> 01:18:16,223
No.
2167
01:18:16,225 --> 01:18:17,391
Sorry, I...
2168
01:18:17,393 --> 01:18:18,225
Hey, hey!
2169
01:18:18,227 --> 01:18:19,060
Oh, good.
2170
01:18:19,062 --> 01:18:20,561
Zelda said you might show.
2171
01:18:20,563 --> 01:18:21,796
Yeah, uh, wow.
2172
01:18:22,799 --> 01:18:23,898
Look at you!
2173
01:18:23,900 --> 01:18:24,732
You've changed.
2174
01:18:24,734 --> 01:18:26,534
Oh, yes.
2175
01:18:26,535 --> 01:18:28,335
The revived, revised,
newly-minted edition of Huey.
2176
01:18:28,337 --> 01:18:29,170
Good for you.
2177
01:18:29,172 --> 01:18:30,004
We're late.
2178
01:18:30,006 --> 01:18:31,138
Oh, this is Aggie, my wife.
2179
01:18:31,140 --> 01:18:32,073
This is Bernard.
2180
01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:36,477
For clarification,
I'm Zelda's mother.
2181
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:37,311
Yes.
2182
01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:38,145
Uh, hi.
2183
01:18:38,147 --> 01:18:38,979
Actually, you know what, I'm...
2184
01:18:38,981 --> 01:18:40,047
Oh, no, no, no no!
2185
01:18:40,049 --> 01:18:41,515
You will not believe
what's been happening.
2186
01:18:41,517 --> 01:18:43,367
No, Huey, don't.
2187
01:18:43,368 --> 01:18:45,218
Lenin wasn't doing
greeting cards, y'know, so...
2188
01:18:45,221 --> 01:18:48,055
Yeah, and Lenin didn't have
a daddy with a printing plant.
2189
01:18:51,894 --> 01:18:54,128
Your drawing is
getting marvelous, dear!
2190
01:18:54,130 --> 01:18:54,962
I like this one.
2191
01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:56,097
This one's very cute.
2192
01:18:56,099 --> 01:18:57,565
Yeah, that's nice.
2193
01:18:57,566 --> 01:18:59,032
So, Marty, my
man, the key is to seduce
2194
01:18:59,035 --> 01:19:00,968
the marketplace upwards.
2195
01:19:00,969 --> 01:19:02,902
Y'know, leverage
brick-and-mortar
into the transmedia space
2196
01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:05,539
all while maintaining an
authentic brand identity.
2197
01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:07,942
Conrad thinks I worry too
much about selling out.
2198
01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:09,377
You do.
2199
01:19:09,378 --> 01:19:10,811
Well, I, I, I think that
the stores are thrilled
2200
01:19:10,813 --> 01:19:12,379
that this is printed on hemp.
2201
01:19:12,381 --> 01:19:15,282
They just love it thanks to
the Mayor of Colorado here.
2202
01:19:15,284 --> 01:19:16,784
But you don't have anything to
worry about
2203
01:19:16,786 --> 01:19:18,352
these are all terrific.
2204
01:19:18,354 --> 01:19:20,054
The cards, they just
drive eyeballs to the site,
2205
01:19:20,056 --> 01:19:21,956
site to the app,
app to online sales.
2206
01:19:21,958 --> 01:19:23,791
See, the medium doesn't
define the integrity
2207
01:19:23,793 --> 01:19:25,659
of the artist, 'cause
the true artist knows
2208
01:19:25,661 --> 01:19:28,062
how to create with
whatever's at his fingertips.
2209
01:19:28,064 --> 01:19:30,264
Our aim is to maximize
the marketplace,
2210
01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:32,333
not compromise our integrity.
2211
01:19:32,335 --> 01:19:33,801
Take it down, yeah?
2212
01:19:33,802 --> 01:19:35,268
I don't understand a word
you're saying.
2213
01:19:35,271 --> 01:19:36,170
These are very different.
2214
01:19:36,172 --> 01:19:37,204
That's what I like about them.
2215
01:19:37,206 --> 01:19:38,217
I dig it.
2216
01:19:38,218 --> 01:19:39,229
It's generational, my friend.
2217
01:19:39,230 --> 01:19:40,241
I, I understand that, but I...
2218
01:19:40,243 --> 01:19:41,576
So bizarre.
2219
01:19:41,577 --> 01:19:42,910
Well, this is exactly why
we've already
2220
01:19:42,912 --> 01:19:46,080
started crowd-funding for
the graphic novel, as well.
2221
01:19:46,082 --> 01:19:47,581
Gutenberg, baby, Gutenberg.
2222
01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:50,818
It begins and it ends
with the printed page.
2223
01:19:50,820 --> 01:19:53,087
You see, when the sustainable
becomes artisanal,
2224
01:19:53,089 --> 01:19:56,223
then the analog becomes tactile,
eh?
2225
01:19:56,225 --> 01:19:59,493
Hold on to life, lover,
and don't ever let it go.
2226
01:19:59,495 --> 01:20:00,327
Okay.
2227
01:20:00,329 --> 01:20:01,162
Yeah.
2228
01:20:01,164 --> 01:20:01,996
Excuse me.
2229
01:20:01,998 --> 01:20:02,919
Ciao, baby.
2230
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:03,841
Y'know, obviously, none of
this is gonna
2231
01:20:03,842 --> 01:20:04,763
be at the expense of the
greeting cards.
2232
01:20:04,767 --> 01:20:06,066
That's what gave us our start,
y'know,
2233
01:20:06,068 --> 01:20:07,935
But I just think having a
graphic novel
2234
01:20:07,937 --> 01:20:09,336
could just build up the brand.
2235
01:20:09,338 --> 01:20:11,038
Just a shot of anything,
it doesn't matter.
2236
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:14,508
- Absolutely brilliant.
- It's hilarious,
hilarious!
2237
01:20:14,510 --> 01:20:15,509
You okay?
2238
01:20:17,246 --> 01:20:19,313
I'm barely holding on.
2239
01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:25,452
You're back in business.
2240
01:20:25,454 --> 01:20:27,822
Your wife and your daughter.
2241
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:32,059
Ah, the hipster scene is dead,
man.
2242
01:20:32,061 --> 01:20:32,960
La Boheme.
2243
01:20:34,564 --> 01:20:37,932
Shit, everything your mama
told you about sex is true.
2244
01:20:37,934 --> 01:20:39,333
Take it down.
2245
01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:40,167
Take it down...
2246
01:20:40,169 --> 01:20:41,001
Just stop, Huey.
2247
01:20:41,003 --> 01:20:42,603
Just stop.
2248
01:20:42,605 --> 01:20:44,972
God, you're exhausting.
2249
01:20:44,974 --> 01:20:46,807
You know that, right?
2250
01:20:48,811 --> 01:20:50,711
You have exhausted me.
2251
01:20:55,751 --> 01:20:57,084
Number one, I'm a schmuck.
2252
01:20:57,086 --> 01:20:58,652
Number two, I apologize.
2253
01:20:58,654 --> 01:20:59,987
Number three, I'm a schmuck.
2254
01:20:59,989 --> 01:21:00,821
Number four, I'm a schmuck.
2255
01:21:00,823 --> 01:21:03,490
Number five, I'm a schmuck.
2256
01:21:03,492 --> 01:21:05,259
"A transitional figure,"
that's what she called me.
2257
01:21:05,261 --> 01:21:06,961
Can you believe that?
2258
01:21:06,963 --> 01:21:10,464
I just, I just don't want
to get old, Roz.
2259
01:21:10,466 --> 01:21:12,700
Why is that so awful?
2260
01:21:12,702 --> 01:21:14,568
I knew you when you were young.
2261
01:21:14,570 --> 01:21:16,237
Oh, God, oh shit.
2262
01:21:17,173 --> 01:21:19,707
Shit, that was awful!
2263
01:21:19,709 --> 01:21:20,541
That was awful, wasn't it?
2264
01:21:20,543 --> 01:21:22,810
It was awful being young!
2265
01:21:24,847 --> 01:21:28,282
Am I a transitional figure in
your life?
2266
01:21:28,284 --> 01:21:30,684
You are a schmuck.
2267
01:21:30,686 --> 01:21:33,020
I'm a transitional figure in
your life.
2268
01:21:33,022 --> 01:21:33,921
Nooo!
2269
01:21:33,923 --> 01:21:34,855
No.
2270
01:21:34,857 --> 01:21:35,689
C'mon...
2271
01:21:35,691 --> 01:21:36,523
Do you want me to say it?
2272
01:21:36,525 --> 01:21:37,725
No!
2273
01:21:37,727 --> 01:21:38,926
You're my Zelda.
2274
01:21:38,928 --> 01:21:41,295
Where did you hear this?
2275
01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:43,063
But there is a saving grace.
2276
01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:44,398
Yes, please.
2277
01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:45,299
Please.
2278
01:21:47,637 --> 01:21:52,206
You are also a transitional
figure in your own life.
2279
01:22:00,216 --> 01:22:01,582
So, the irony is I screw around
2280
01:22:01,584 --> 01:22:03,484
for the fear of my
own mortality,
2281
01:22:03,486 --> 01:22:04,385
and now,
2282
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,324
and now,
2283
01:22:12,161 --> 01:22:13,060
and now.
2284
01:22:13,930 --> 01:22:16,597
That is the irony, all right.
2285
01:22:20,503 --> 01:22:21,568
I'm sorry.
2286
01:22:23,472 --> 01:22:24,705
I'm a schmuck.
2287
01:22:31,213 --> 01:22:32,713
But I look young.
2288
01:22:35,351 --> 01:22:36,216
Young-ish?
2289
01:22:40,990 --> 01:22:41,822
Hey!
2290
01:22:41,824 --> 01:22:43,123
Oh my God.
2291
01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:44,558
What?
2292
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:45,793
I just wanted to come
by and let you to know
2293
01:22:45,795 --> 01:22:47,227
I'm not mad at you.
2294
01:22:47,229 --> 01:22:48,195
Mad at me?
2295
01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:49,163
Why?
2296
01:22:49,165 --> 01:22:51,465
You called me exhausting.
2297
01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:56,503
Hey, uh, you ever been to
St. Thomas?
2298
01:22:56,505 --> 01:22:57,471
No.
2299
01:22:57,473 --> 01:22:59,139
Why?
2300
01:22:59,141 --> 01:23:00,040
Here.
2301
01:23:01,744 --> 01:23:02,943
I just don't want you to be mad
at me for
2302
01:23:02,945 --> 01:23:04,511
the next 25 years.
2303
01:23:06,315 --> 01:23:07,481
See you soon?
2304
01:23:17,059 --> 01:23:20,227
Welcome to Cyril E. King Airport
2305
01:23:20,229 --> 01:23:21,695
in St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands.
2306
01:23:21,697 --> 01:23:22,830
Is it posting?
2307
01:23:22,832 --> 01:23:23,964
No, it's not going to post.
2308
01:23:23,966 --> 01:23:25,332
I'm recording now so we
can have it...
2309
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:27,201
Well, we can't just record
it now and post it later,
2310
01:23:27,203 --> 01:23:28,202
that's not authentic...
2311
01:23:28,204 --> 01:23:29,036
Where are the bags?
2312
01:23:29,038 --> 01:23:30,104
Uh, up ahead.
2313
01:23:30,106 --> 01:23:31,338
Can you believe we're here?
2314
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,239
As a matter of fact...
2315
01:23:32,241 --> 01:23:34,842
It's so post-colonial.
2316
01:23:34,844 --> 01:23:36,844
Admit it, you were never
really attracted to Huey.
2317
01:23:36,846 --> 01:23:38,178
Just admit it, just admit it!
2318
01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:39,480
Ow!
2319
01:23:39,482 --> 01:23:42,116
Uh, sweetie, where are the bags?
2320
01:23:42,118 --> 01:23:42,983
They're on the shuttle,
remember?
2321
01:23:42,985 --> 01:23:43,884
Ah, yes!
2322
01:23:45,154 --> 01:23:48,355
Hey, I just wanna let you
know, I am so proud of you!
2323
01:23:48,357 --> 01:23:49,323
Is this your way of telling me
2324
01:23:49,325 --> 01:23:50,290
that you're gonna leave again?
2325
01:23:50,292 --> 01:23:51,125
No!
2326
01:23:51,127 --> 01:23:52,192
We'll see.
2327
01:23:55,097 --> 01:23:56,230
This is nice, huh?
2328
01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:57,331
Yeah, this it's nice.
2329
01:23:57,332 --> 01:23:58,431
Thanks for the tickets,
by the way.
2330
01:23:58,434 --> 01:24:00,200
Thanks for coming.
2331
01:24:00,202 --> 01:24:04,738
Y'know, I've been thinking,
uh, maybe I'll write a book!
2332
01:24:04,740 --> 01:24:06,306
About what?
2333
01:24:06,308 --> 01:24:07,241
Me!
2334
01:24:07,243 --> 01:24:09,176
Oh, God, no!
2335
01:24:09,178 --> 01:24:12,179
No, don't ever, ever do that!
2336
01:24:12,181 --> 01:24:13,247
We'll see!
2337
01:24:15,751 --> 01:24:18,085
Tanya... Sarah... Dani...
2338
01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:20,120
Mona!
2339
01:24:21,023 --> 01:24:22,089
Who's Mona?
2340
01:24:22,091 --> 01:24:23,457
She's an artist.
2341
01:24:23,459 --> 01:24:24,491
An artist?
2342
01:24:24,493 --> 01:24:25,359
Jesus!
2343
01:24:25,361 --> 01:24:26,527
Parsons.
2344
01:24:26,529 --> 01:24:27,995
How tall is she?
2345
01:24:27,997 --> 01:24:29,329
Does she put out?
2346
01:24:29,331 --> 01:24:31,131
No, Mona's too crazy.
2347
01:24:34,103 --> 01:24:36,537
I could give you Aggie.
2348
01:24:36,539 --> 01:24:37,805
Who is Aggie?
2349
01:24:37,807 --> 01:24:39,640
Great-looking chick.
2350
01:24:39,642 --> 01:24:40,474
Neurotic.
2351
01:24:40,476 --> 01:24:41,542
Confused.
2352
01:24:41,544 --> 01:24:42,876
Bennington.
2353
01:24:42,878 --> 01:24:43,710
Writes poems.
2354
01:24:43,712 --> 01:24:45,112
Paints watercolors.
2355
01:24:45,114 --> 01:24:47,714
Oh, she sounds perfect.
2356
01:24:47,716 --> 01:24:49,116
Should I give you Aggie?
2357
01:24:49,118 --> 01:24:50,484
Give me Aggie!
2358
01:24:52,688 --> 01:24:53,687
No.
2359
01:24:53,689 --> 01:24:55,155
I'm saving Aggie.
2360
01:24:56,926 --> 01:24:57,825
Okay.
2361
01:25:00,162 --> 01:25:01,962
Who've you got, Huey?
2362
01:27:48,564 --> 01:27:50,264
♫ She was a teenage debutante ♫
2363
01:27:50,266 --> 01:27:51,965
♫ A George F. Will sycophant ♫
2364
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:53,734
♫ Lived a life of
perfect health ♫
2365
01:27:53,736 --> 01:27:55,469
♫ Family of means and wealth ♫
2366
01:27:55,471 --> 01:27:57,404
♫ And when she charmed everybody
at the country club dance ♫
2367
01:27:57,406 --> 01:27:59,106
♫ They said honey,
you've got a chance ♫
2368
01:27:59,108 --> 01:28:01,008
♫ To be a conservative zit ♫
2369
01:28:01,010 --> 01:28:03,910
♫ Marry a Republican twit ♫
2370
01:28:03,912 --> 01:28:08,348
♫ And own many pairs of
designer pants ♫
2371
01:28:08,350 --> 01:28:10,050
♫ She had fun at the
society bash ♫
2372
01:28:10,052 --> 01:28:11,818
♫ Then she contently
took their cash ♫
2373
01:28:11,820 --> 01:28:13,654
♫ Her parents said they raised
her right ♫
2374
01:28:13,656 --> 01:28:15,322
♫ Albeit just a little tight ♫
2375
01:28:15,324 --> 01:28:17,190
♫ Her graduation gift was
a bright red Porsche ♫
2376
01:28:17,192 --> 01:28:19,059
♫ She ate caviar with
her borsht ♫
2377
01:28:19,061 --> 01:28:20,927
♫ Her dad made a wager ♫
2378
01:28:20,929 --> 01:28:24,331
♫ She'd be a business major ♫
2379
01:28:24,333 --> 01:28:28,235
♫ With his investment
broker on the porch ♫
2380
01:28:28,237 --> 01:28:30,003
♫ She turned 18 and
went to college ♫
2381
01:28:30,005 --> 01:28:31,838
♫ She thought that she
would seek some knowledge ♫
2382
01:28:31,840 --> 01:28:33,507
♫ She thought it was fine ♫
2383
01:28:33,509 --> 01:28:35,375
♫ To open more than
just her mind ♫
2384
01:28:35,377 --> 01:28:37,210
♫ She liked what she saw
at the student protest ♫
2385
01:28:37,212 --> 01:28:39,079
♫ Skipped class that day
and forgot her test ♫
2386
01:28:39,081 --> 01:28:40,847
♫ Then she became a Dead Head ♫
2387
01:28:40,849 --> 01:28:44,217
♫ Never went alone to bed ♫
2388
01:28:44,219 --> 01:28:47,020
♫ And turned her dorm
into a hippie love nest ♫
2389
01:28:47,022 --> 01:28:50,424
♫ One, two, three, four ♫
2390
01:29:06,608 --> 01:29:08,608
♫ One, two, three, four ♫
2391
01:29:08,610 --> 01:29:10,077
♫ Then on one Christmas break ♫
2392
01:29:10,079 --> 01:29:11,745
♫ She brought home a
garter snake ♫
2393
01:29:11,747 --> 01:29:13,580
♫ She gave her mom a
Ruskie bear hug ♫
2394
01:29:13,582 --> 01:29:15,415
♫ She gave her sister
a bag of drugs ♫
2395
01:29:15,417 --> 01:29:17,250
♫ She told her dad
she was a communist ♫
2396
01:29:17,252 --> 01:29:19,052
♫ But her boyfriend's
only a socialist ♫
2397
01:29:19,054 --> 01:29:20,821
♫ But it was the bright
red bra ♫
2398
01:29:20,823 --> 01:29:23,990
♫ That really, really shocked
her ma ♫
2399
01:29:23,992 --> 01:29:27,694
♫ Wasted money
at the orthodontist ♫
2400
01:29:27,696 --> 01:29:31,098
♫ One, two, three, four ♫
2401
01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:44,000
Credit #1: (Hearing Impaired Source)
Bernard.And.Huey.2017.720p.WEB-DL.x264.AAC-eSc
2402
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:49,000
Credit #2: ThanX, Subtitle Edit!
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