Original subtitles

[woman] Now, previously on Reba.

Van, what's this?

Uh...

Well, I, uh... I was gonna put a ship in it.

[chuckles]

Van.

You need to promise me that this is gonna end.

I promise.

Is this your bottle?

What?

[scoffs] Why would you think that is my bottle?

Well, it's not mine.

And if it's not yours, then our three-year-old

has a major problem.

What's going on, Cheyenne?

[sad music playing]

[theme music playing]

Adults are so weird.

Why are you guys having a party because you sold a house?

Isn't that your job?

We don't have a party for Dad when he pulls a tooth.

Still ticked he wasn't invited.

Okay, everyone's here. Let's go in.

All right. Hand on a second.

- Are you gonna be okay at the party? - Van...

There's gonna be drinking and stuff.

Honey, I've told you this.

I've had that bottle up there for like, two months.

Sometimes, when I'm studying, I'd have a glass of schnapps.

What is the big deal?

The big deal is that your mom thinks it was my bottle.

Ang by the way, schnapps?

What?

I mean, it's bad enough she thinks I have a drinking problem,

but now she thinks I'm the biggest wuss, ever.

- Just tell her. - No. No, Van.

I know my mom. If I tell her,

she's gonna freak out and make my life miserable.

It's possible, but look on the bright side.

She'll stop making my life miserable.

Okay, fine. I'll tell her.

I'd find the right time, okay?

Thank you. You gonna be okay at the party?

Yes, I'm gonna be okay. What do you think I'm gonna do?

Get drunk, start dancing on the coffee table and rip my top off?

No.

But that would be awesome.

[Reba] Ha, Hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And a heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

[theme music playing]

- I'm having wine. Honey, you want a beer? - Yeah, that's great.

- I'll take a beer. - No, Van.

I don't think that's a good idea. You know--

Soda? You on the wagon, Van?

Yes. But they shouldn't call it a wagon.

'Cause wagons are fun.

Well, if I'm gonna be drinking a soda, I'm gonna need some cheese.

Maybe I have a cheese problem too.

Oh, Van. Sneakin' drinks.

Well, in my defense, I tried to drink in front of you.

Look. I think you need to go

to one of those meetings so you can talk to people

who're dealing with the same thing you are.

Honey, as much as we love you,

we can't understand what you're going through.

I bet Cheyenne could.

[sighs] Look, I'm saying this

not only as your mother-in-law, but your boss.

I'm not gonna let up 'til you go to those meetings.

And I want you to bring me back one of those welcome chips

that they give out.

That way, I'll know you really went to the meeting.

- All right, fine. - Okay.

- I'll go in the morning. - Okay.

But not goin' without a hangover.

Give me that. Give me that, Van.

- Give me-- - Give me that bottle!

[theme music playing]

[groans] That pinhead in the idiot registration office

won't move my stupid Anatomy Lab in the stupid morning!

Oh, my gosh! Did Barbra Jean get a job at university?

It will wreck my whole schedule if I have lab in the afternoon.

What am I gonna do?

Cheyenne, Mom and I are doing something.

She's helping me pick artwork

for my band's demo CD.

Why not use a picture of a toilet? That's where your band's going.

Cheyenne!

That's actually not a bad idea. Thanks, Cheyenne.

Cheyenne, why don't you call back and politely ask to speak to a supervisor?

Tell 'em you're a mom, and you wanna change lab because of your child.

[sighs] I'll try.

But it's so hard to get men to do what I want when they can't see me.

- Van, did you go to the meeting? - Yeah, I went.

- Oh, how'd it go? - Oh, it was a blast.

A million laughs. Here.

They said to tell you I'm cured and you should leave me alone.

"One day sober." I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, me, too. I'm having a t-shirt printed up.

Oh, when's the next meeting?

The next meeting?

- Uh-huh. - [snickers]

- [sighs] Can you excuse me for a second? - Sure.

Cheyenne?

Hey, honey.

- How was your meeting? - It wasn't my meeting, Cheyenne.

It was your meeting.

Well, good. Now you've gone, and Mom will get off your back.

No, she won't! I'm telling you.

She won't stop busting my hump until you tell her the bottle was yours.

And then she can bust my hump?

About what?

Drinking a bottle of schnapps in two months?

Just go to the meeting and tell her you went

'cause you're being careful.

You can't say anything more 'cause it's anonymous.

Oh, I don't know.

Van, I think I'd feel uncomfortable around those people.

If you want, I'll go with you. Come on, Cheyenne.

This little misunderstanding got out of control.

It's baseball season, honey.

I need to drink beer.

[theme music playing]

Hey, Van. Where's Cheyenne?

She went out for a while.

I thought I was the only one at home.

So, you're just hanging out, huh?

Yep. Just hanging out.

Hanging out with a little refreshment?

Yep.

- And reading? - Trying to.

- I need to know what's that. - I don't want you to.

- Give it to me. - Okay, but...

Don't think any less of me.

[groans] What is that?

Prune juice and vinegar!

[laughs hysterically]

I got you!

- Sorry for barging in. - Oh, don't worry about it.

- Coffee? - Oh!

Yum.

[Van laughs]

- Reba, I got great news. - Yeah?

Kyra's band has been offered a gig, but it's out of town.

- She'd have to stay over. - No.

- Well, just hang on a second. - The answer is no.

We talked about this, Brock, when Kyra first started with the band.

No gigs on school nights, and none out of town.

- Reba, this is special. - Enjoy your coffee.

[chuckles nervously]

Lord, that's good coffee!

I can't believe you're even talking to me about this.

Well, would you let me finish? Look, the gig is through the USO.

They want her to go to Fort Hood.

Play for the soldiers leaving for Iraq.

Whoa, that is so cool.

Oh, for the soldiers?

[scoffs] How do I say no to that?

Yeah.

Hey, sweetie. How was school?

I wasn't at school. I was at a meeting.

A meeting for what?

Okay, Mom, Dad. Everyone.

I have wonderful news!

- I'm an alcoholic! - [silverware clatters]

I'm havin' a beer.

[theme music playing]

What are you talking about?

- You're not an alcoholic. - Yes, I am.

Remember the bottle you found in our closet

you thought was Van's? It was mine!

He was taking the fall for me.

My sweet, sweet enabler.

See, Mrs. H? I told you I didn't have a drinking problem.

So, honey, you've been drinking secretly?

Yeah.

Is it because of your mom's coffee?

Well, for right now, it doesn't matter why I'm doing it.

It just matters that I'm doing it.

A little something I picked up at my meeting.

I still can't believe this, Cheyenne.

When I thought it was Van, it made sense.

I mean, he's got a helmet with two beer cans on it.

[both whispering] Yeah.

- I've never seen you drunk. - I know.

Not only am I an alcoholic,

I'm really good at it.

Yeah, yeah. But honey, you're not really an alcoholic, right?

You just went to the meeting so you can get Ms. Dry County off my back?

Well, that's what I thought at first.

But then I learned that I really belong there.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Like an idiot, I am here drinking a beer in front of you.

Ah, well, no more.

I'll be in the garage.

- Van? Van? - [Van] What?

- No. Pour it out. - Okay.

Van!

If she thinks she has a drinking problem, then we'll support her.

From now on, this house is an alcohol-free zone.

- No-- - Yeah, yeah. Our house too.

I'm even gonna give up drinking coffee.

No, no. No. You guys can't do that.

That just creates a fake world.

The problem is not alcohol. The problem is Cheyenne.

I can't change the world, but I can change Cheyenne.

You learned all that from one meeting?

Yeah! Oh, okay. The meetings are the coolest.

First of all, you get to talk about yourself

for as long as you want.

Yeah. And the people have to listen!

They even clap for you when you're done.

Oh, yeah. They even clap to the losers.

And, believe me, there are a few losers.

[Brock] Wow.

So, listen, Cheyenne, honey. You're an amazing person.

- You are gonna beat this. - You will.

Yeah, I know. I know.

It's just so heartbreaking to think of all the people

who are out there, still suffering.

God. I remember what I was like before I got help.

You mean, an hour ago?

[theme music playing]

Reba, what a nice surprise.

So, what brings you by?

I just got through, uh, showing a house, and...

Thought I'd pop in to see what you guys are up to.

- Hm. - You know, just...

Say hello.

- You want a glass of wine? - Yes. Yes.

Things are tough at your place, huh?

Oh, my gosh. Look, I am completely, totally,

100 percent supportive of Cheyenne on this.

That being said, dear Lord,

that girl is driving me out of my flippin' bird.

Yeah. Tell me.

Every morning, I've got a new pamphlet on the windshield of my car,

and it always has some guy sitting in a bar,

holding his head like this.

I know.

Can I maybe, say something, that maybe I'm not supposed to say?

Don't you always?

Is it possible, just possible, mind you,

the Cheyenne doesn't have a drinking problem?

I don't know. She says she does, but I've never seen it.

Me either.

But apparently, she's been drinking more than any of us knew.

Scary thing is,

she's been hidin' it.

It's just that Cheyenne has a bit of a tendency

to jump on bandwagons.

Remember when she wanted to change her name to Condoleezza?

Is it possible she's over reacting?

Yeah, it's possible.

But if you're gonna be wrong about having a drinking problem,

Thinking you do when you don't

is a lot better than thinking you don't when you do.

- Amen. - Yeah.

[thuds]

Hey, Van. What's up?

Nothing.

I figured, I'd come by, see how you guys are doing.

- You want a beer? - Yeah!

I was watching the baseball game,

- having a beer, right? - Yeah.

So, then I decided to make a sandwich.

Then Cheyenne tells me it's dangerous to make a sandwich

while I'm under the influence.

Do you know anybody that's gotten killed by making a salami sandwich?

- I mean-- - [chuckles]

I do.

I do!

Whoop!

It's okay, it's only Kyra.

Since you're loaded, maybe this is the time to bring up the USO gig.

- Yeah, did you give more thought to it? - Yes, I have.

Kyra, I think this is something you really ought to do.

- You serious? You're letting me go? - Yeah, but one of us is going.

Great. I believe Mötley Crüe also tours with a parent.

Your mother's right, Kyra.

I'll fix my schedule and go with 'em.

- Great. - To Kyra and the band.

[all] To Kyra and the band!

To Cheyenne quitting drinking.

[all reluctantly] To Cheyenne quitting drinking.

So, what you guys up to?

Besides getting wasted?

Honey, we're not getting wasted.

We're just celebrating that Kyra's band's

- gotten their first out of town gig. - Oh, I see.

What better way to celebrate good news

that to drench your brains with poison?

- [sighs] - Cheyenne, relax.

It's not like we're making sandwiches.

Well, I'm glad that we're talking about Kyra's band

'cause I wanted to talk to her about that, too.

- Can this wait? I wanna call the guys. - No, it can't wait.

Okay. I've been working on my 12-step program

and I am up to step nine,

which is making amends with people.

You're on that program for two days, and you're already up to step nine?

I skipped a bunch of boring ones.

Anyway, I realized that back when I was using,

I said some horrible things to you, Kyra, about your band.

It's cool. Don't worry.

Kyra, this isn't about you. It's about me.

You just have to listen. You think you can do that?

- Yeah. - Mm-mm.

Anyway, even if you said ten billion mean things to me,

and I only said like, five mean things to you, I just want you to know,

I'm sorry.

- Hello? You could clap. - [Barbra Jean] Oh.

[theme music playing]

Be sure. And call me when you get there.

And before the show.

And after the show.

And, and to say good night. And in the morning.

Why not call you now

and we'll talk all weekend?

I know you're jokin' but that'd work for me.

Mrs. H, you got nothing to worry about.

Just going to a military base

with a rock and roll band. I mean, come on.

Hey, Kyra. I'm gonna talk to the people at my meeting

about having your band play at one of our alcohol-free dances.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Gee, I don't know.

We might already book at a barn raising.

I'll see them off. I'll be back later.

Okay. Oh, Kyra.

Tell the soldiers I know what they're going through.

I'm fighting my own war.

Don't tell them that.

Thanks for letting me do this, Mom.

Have I told you how proud I am of you?

When I'm a big rock star,

you'll be my realtor to buy a big mansion.

[laughs] Forget that. Just buy me a big mansion.

Oh, shoot. I forgot.

I got your band carrot sticks and juice boxes. Wait.

Carrot sticks. Rock and roll!

Hey, Cheyenne. Hand me that--

- What are you doing? - What?

Nothin'. Oh, this?

I'm just having a little glass of wine.

- Glass of wine? - Mm-mm.

Weren't you going to the meetings?

Yeah, in the morning.

You know, honey, I don't know much about this program you're going to, but...

Isn't drinking between meetings a little bit of a no-no?

Mom, I'm having a bad day, okay?

The school won't change my lab. I need a drink.

You need a drink?

Okay, Mom. I do not have a drinking problem.

Those people in the meeting,

tricked me to think I do, but I don't.

They want me 'cause I'm fascinating and I bring great donuts.

- So, you don't have a drinking problem? - No, of course not.

You're the type who needs a drink when they have a bad day.

I don't "need" it, need it.

You know, this is exactly why I used to drink in my room.

- Because I didn't want some big speech. - Oh.

Well, if you don't need a drink, give it to me.

You know what?

You don't know what the last year of my life has been like.

It's just one, big crap storm after another.

From Van moving to Denver, and then him getting injured?

And losing his job? Not knowing what's gonna happen to us.

All the pressures at school? It sucks.

When did this drinking thing start?

I don't know when.

At some point, this tiny, thought came into my head

that maybe if I had a drink, I'd feel better.

One, silly, little drink.

And you know what I found out?

- That it didn't work? - No!

No, it did.

I did feel better. And two drinks made me feel way better.

'Til I wake the next day with a headache

and I was really aware of how loud Van is.

So then, I'd tell myself that I wasn't gonna drink again.

And I wouldn't.

For a while.

Then something else bad would happen

and that freaking little thought would come back into my head.

You probably think this sounds really weird.

No, baby. I don't.

I think it sounds like a drinking problem!

I don't want a drinking problem!

I don't want Barbra Jean living down the street from me too

but crap storms happen.

What am I gonna do?

First thing you're gonna do is put that drink down, right there.

Here's the second thing.

I'm scared, Mom.

I really am.

I know, baby.

[guitar music playing]

[Cheyenne sobbing]

[theme music playing]

[voice over] Acme!

[coughing]