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1
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,180
[sighs]
2
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,559
[exhales in delight]
3
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,937
[exhales in delight]
4
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,106
I love you, Rhonda.
5
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,608
[Cheyenne] Van!
6
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,699
[door opens]
7
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,327
Ah, good morning, Van.
8
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,038
[whispering] Hey, Mrs. H,
9
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,499
if Cheyenne asks, I was not
out driving my new sports car.
10
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,460
She hates her.
11
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,465
- [Cheyenne] Van?
- [whimpering]
12
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,677
Hey, Mom, have you seen--
13
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,763
Van. Where have you been?
14
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,223
Here. The whole time. Reading.
15
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,558
- [Cheyenne] Wh--
- Yeah.
16
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,103
The caterpillar turns into a butterfly?
17
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,982
I did not see that coming!
18
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,571
Hey, Van, is that the book where
the caterpillar drives his fancy Mustang?
19
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,615
- I knew it!
- Mrs. H!
20
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,700
Van, you have to choose.
21
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,453
It's me or Rhonda.
22
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,831
- Rhonda?
- Oh. Van named his car "Rhonda."
23
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,084
You ever met a Rhonda
that wasn't after your man, Mom?
24
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,712
Nope.
25
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,632
And the worst part is,
he won't even let me drive it.
26
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,467
Her. Drive her.
27
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,472
And now we have to
go pick up Elizabeth, and since Rhonda
28
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,934
doesn't have backseat belts,
we have to borrow your car, again.
29
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,687
Oh, no. Not again.
You guys never fill it up.
30
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,607
And the other day, there was a taco
underneath my seat.
31
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,485
That doesn't make it yours.
32
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,740
Van, we are parents now.
We should have a car like Mom's
33
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:59,536
that's practical and boring
and responsible and beige.
34
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,372
- Uh-uh-uh. Harvest gold.
- Harvest beige.
35
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,668
It's true, Mrs. H.
Your car is a dull, beige...
36
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,546
yawn-mobile, but we need to borrow it.
37
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,215
Okay, fine. Take my beige, boring car.
38
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,466
It might not be hot and sexy,
39
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,511
but, by golly, you can put
three bags of fertilizer in the trunk.
40
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,723
[slurping]
41
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:23,518
That's real pretty, Jake.
By the way, chicks love that.
42
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,146
- Hey, Mom?
- Hey.
43
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,148
I need a ride to basketball practice.
44
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:32,777
Jake! Van and Cheyenne just took my car.
You gotta tell me these things.
45
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,695
Okay.
46
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,406
Mom, I need a ride to basketball practice.
47
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,910
Well, just take Van's car.
It's right outside.
48
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,163
Ha-ha, I don't think Van
wants anybody drivin' his car.
49
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,999
- Did he specifically tell you not to?
- No.
50
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,127
Then it's not a rule. Just like
you never specifically told him
51
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,504
he can't eat peanut butter
straight from the jar.
52
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,051
He uses a spoon, right?
53
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,262
He kinda makes one with his fingers.
54
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:02,056
No! Gross. Come on, Jake.
55
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,561
Soon as I drop you off, Rhonda and I
are gonna go buy some peanut butter.
56
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,398
Who's Rhonda?
57
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,281
Guy with a family buys
a silly car like this?
58
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,284
- I think it's cool.
- It's not cool.
59
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,201
It's...
60
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,578
[engine roars]
61
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,288
[engine revs]
62
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:26,956
...not bad. [chuckles]
63
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,002
[chuckling]
64
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,591
[giggling]
65
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:42,138
[engine revving]
66
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,475
Hey there, cowboy.
67
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,397
I'm gonna name you "Ron."
68
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,570
[theme song playing]
69
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,821
[Reba] Hey, hey.
70
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,741
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
71
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,077
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
72
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:08,081
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
73
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,042
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
74
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,795
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
75
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:14,921
♪ With gentle hands ♪
76
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:19,133
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
77
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,763
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
78
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:36,734
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey.
79
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,029
{\an8}So, Jake said you were driving
really fast.
80
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,614
{\an8}He thinks you're "cool."
81
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,824
{\an8}[chuckles] Well...
82
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,493
{\an8}I may have had to teach a punk in a Camaro
83
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,453
{\an8}a little lesson
when the light turned green.
84
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,790
{\an8}Hey, Mom. Guess what?
85
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,459
{\an8}We need to borrow
your car again. Guess why?
86
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:57,463
{\an8}Here are a few clues.
Van, Rhonda... dumb move.
87
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,634
{\an8}- No problem. Here you go.
- All right.
88
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,679
{\an8}We're family. And families share.
I share my car with you,
89
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,682
{\an8}and who knows, maybe Van,
one day, will share his car with me.
90
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,601
{\an8}[laughs] Apples and oranges.
91
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,482
{\an8}So, when are we goin' for a ride?
92
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,067
{\an8}[chuckles] Oh, no.
93
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,154
{\an8}Sneaking Van's car is my thing.
94
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,907
{\an8}Well, all right, but it would be a shame
if Van found out somehow.
95
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,161
{\an8}- You wouldn't.
- Why not? I'm from a broken home.
96
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,290
{\an8}Fine. But you gotta wear that.
97
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,459
{\an8}A scarf? Mom, come on.
98
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,377
{\an8}Oh, yeah. [laughs]
99
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,796
{\an8}Rhonda has a dress code.
100
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,134
[indistinct chattering]
101
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:47,138
Oh! Well, wow. Look who's back.
How'd it go?
102
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,308
I hate basketball. I had to guard a girl.
103
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:54,145
[chuckles] Yeah. Little Zoe Levin
lit him up like a Christmas tree.
104
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,981
So, uh, what's with the getups?
105
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,484
- Well, it's uh--
- Mother-daughter day.
106
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,694
- Yeah.
- Where, in the '50s?
107
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,906
No, uh--
108
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,366
At the scarf museum.
109
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,245
It... it's great if... if you're into scarves.
110
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,664
- I wanna go.
- No! You don't.
111
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,879
Yeah, well, we better hurry.
First hundred people get a new scarf.
112
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,216
[muttering]
113
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,133
But, Dad--
114
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,843
As long as you are my son,
115
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,054
you are not going to the scarf museum.
116
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,103
Jake's right. I am cool.
117
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,939
Did you see that guy's face?
He didn't wanna race me.
118
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,649
It was a school bus, Mom.
119
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,319
I had a kid with me, too.
It didn't make me a chicken.
120
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,824
Oh, wait a second.
It was closer to the garage.
121
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,745
- Be careful, Mom.
- Stop telling me to be careful.
122
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,580
Ooh!
123
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,667
Please tell me I hit you.
124
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,214
- How bad is it?
- Oh, I don't think it even made a--
125
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,716
- Oh, good Lord! There it is.
- Oh, no!
126
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,847
- What are we gonna do?
-"We"?
127
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,598
We weren't driving. You were driving.
128
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,725
Oh, no. You were my accomplice.
129
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,478
When we were on the road,
but when we're standing on the driveway,
130
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:20,273
I'm just an eyewitness.
"She did it, Officer."
131
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,066
But you distracted me.
132
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:25,194
If you hadn't taken the trash out,
those trash cans wouldn't have been there.
133
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,947
- You told me to.
- And you did it? What's up with that?
134
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,242
Fine. Blame the teenage daughter.
135
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,327
No. [sighs]
136
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:37,290
I'm the adult. I was drivin'.
I'll take responsibility.
137
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,208
Maybe you don't even have to tell Van.
138
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,752
Yes, I have to.
It's the right thing to do.
139
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,714
Is it really? Uh, think about it, Mom.
140
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,383
Van loves that this car
was in perfect condition.
141
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:50,344
And now that there's a scratch on it,
that love will be tainted.
142
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,805
Tainted love.
They've written songs about it.
143
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,232
Kyra, I've been stalling Van for an hour.
144
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:06,152
He wanted to go out to drive,
but I told him he had to clean the attic.
145
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,029
- Have you found a body shop yet?
- Yeah.
146
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,657
"Hank Bender, the auto mender. Guaranteed
to fix your fender. In under an hour."
147
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,993
Which didn't rhyme, but it's good time.
148
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,704
He can have it done by 5:00.
149
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,498
Let's go.
150
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,001
Where's the keys?
151
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,504
Where's the car?
152
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,672
Well, wherever they are,
I bet they're together.
153
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,384
If the car's not out there,
then he must be out driving.
154
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,387
- I'm not out driving.
- Van. Oh.
155
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,681
I thought you were up cleaning the attic.
156
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,849
Yeah, Mrs. H.
157
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,519
What's the rush
with the attic all of a sudden?
158
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,771
Well, Van,
159
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,858
if... if the stuff that I stored away
and forgot about is dirty,
160
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,860
then why would I bother keeping it?
161
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,072
[mouthing] What?
162
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:52,949
So, where's your car?
163
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,701
- Oh, I let Barbra Jean borrow it.
- Barbra Jean?
164
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,037
I thought you had a rule
nobody could drive your car?
165
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,957
Oh, there's no rule. You just
need to sign the Rhonda pledge.
166
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,334
It's a simple six-page document.
167
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,794
And do you know why she signed it?
168
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:09,006
- Because she gets it.
- Gets what?
169
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,717
About a week ago,
Rhonda and I spotted each other
170
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,928
across a crowded used car lot
171
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,055
and made a very special connection.
172
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,350
And yet everybody has been really
critical, especially you and Cheyenne.
173
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,060
Sorry. We didn't know Rhonda could hear.
174
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,395
Oh, we hear.
175
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,982
The comments, the looks of scorn...
176
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,984
We hear them, and they hurt.
177
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,487
You hear the looks of scorn?
178
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,989
I heard that one!
179
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,119
Van! Reba.
180
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:42,665
Van. Oh, thanks a million
for lettin' me borrow Rhonda.
181
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,918
No thanks necessary, Barbra Jean.
See page four of the pledge.
182
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,922
- Well, I'm gonna go for a spin.
- Oh, wait!
183
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,384
Van, did you, um, vacuum the attic?
184
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,428
Mrs. H, did I vacuum the attic?
185
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,805
- Yeah.
- [laughs] Did I vacuum the attic?
186
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:07,189
Oh, I put a huge scratch on Van's car.
187
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:09,233
- Where, back left?
- Yeah. How'd you know?
188
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,818
- Lucky guess.
- Oh.
189
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,364
Oh, Reba, why me?
What have I done to deserve this?
190
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:19,035
It's almost like God is punishing you
for stealing my mom's husband.
191
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,164
Kyra, I think we've moved past that.
192
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,291
Well, of course we have.
193
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,293
I mean, me taking Brock is...
194
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,086
is what brought us all together.
195
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,174
You know, it's what turned us
into one big, happy family, right?
196
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,510
- Yeah, until you wrecked Van's car.
- [whimpers]
197
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,899
Oh, gosh, Van is gonna lose it
when he finds out I wrecked his car.
198
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:54,028
He really is. He gets that look where
his two eyebrows merge together,
199
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,530
and he looks like that Muppet
that lives in the trash can.
200
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,242
Barbra Jean, even though I know
this is totally your fault,
201
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,452
I'm willing to help out.
202
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,536
Oh. Okay.
203
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,413
Now, go ask Van to borrow his car again.
204
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,667
We'll take it down to Hank Bender's
auto shop, he can have it ready by 5:00.
205
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,751
How do you know that?
206
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,631
Well, it's Hank Bender. He's a legend.
Go. And don't mention this to anybody.
207
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,841
- Not a word.
- Great. Great.
208
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,468
I scratched Van's car!
209
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,763
You scratched Van's car?
210
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,183
Yeah. Oh, why did I sign
that ever-lovin' pledge?
211
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,103
- Go ask Van for his car again.
- Okay, okay. All right.
212
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,312
Do I look guilty?
213
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,820
- Not at all.
- Good.
214
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:37,905
Good.
215
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,534
It was me. I scratched Van's car.
216
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,244
- Whoa.
- What? You?
217
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,288
Yeah, I was walking by her, and she
gave me one of those smug looks,
218
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,207
so I whacked her with my purse.
219
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,210
- On the back left?
- Yeah. How'd you know?
220
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,253
Lucky guess.
221
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,299
Look, Mom, Van is gonna freak out on me.
222
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,510
Okay, it doesn't matter
who scratched the car.
223
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:02,721
No matter who scratched the car,
Barbra Jean scratched the car.
224
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,599
Okay. Okay, got it.
225
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,309
Oh, I can't face him.
226
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,645
Oh, my jaw hurts.
227
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,149
Stop grinning. Okay, look,
we'll take it down to the body shop.
228
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,276
If Van comes down
from the attic, distract him.
229
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,238
All right, but hurry. At some point,
we're gonna run out of shiny objects.
230
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,452
You know, now that I look at it,
231
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,037
I don't see how that old lady
could have put that scratch here.
232
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,789
- Oh, yeah. They're cagey.
- Yeah.
233
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,583
Let's get out of here before Van--
234
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,792
- Hey.
- [both yelp]
235
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,586
Oh, Van. [laughs nervously]
236
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,380
- Yeah, it's me, Van.
- Oh. What are you doing?
237
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:40,176
Well, it's 2:15. Every, day at this time,
I wipe her down with a chamois.
238
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,344
Sweet.
239
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,431
- What are you guys doin'?
- Bird-watching.
240
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,475
Woodpecker. Nature's lumberjack.
241
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,438
Van, you need to go inside right now.
242
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,398
- Why?
- Bird-watching.
243
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,358
Look, a squirrel.
244
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,243
Uh, Cheyenne's got
a surprise for you inside.
245
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:08,078
- Really?
- Yeah.
246
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,206
- Well, I love surprises.
- I know.
247
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,415
Okay.
248
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,875
[kisses] Be back, honey.
249
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,796
- [exhales]
- Nature's lumberjack?
250
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,965
I know. That's the beaver.
251
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,258
I panicked. [groans]
252
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,429
Hey, there you are.
253
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,306
So?
254
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,518
- So?
- Well?
255
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,978
- Well?
- Ah?
256
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,271
Ah?
257
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,398
I think the score is tied.
258
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:39,985
Should I keep my eyes closed?
259
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,153
- Um, yeah.
- Okay.
260
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,696
- What?
- [indistinct whispering]
261
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,615
[indistinct whispering continues]
262
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,368
Hold on, honey.
263
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,914
We told him you were
gonna give him a surprise.
264
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,166
- But I don't have a surprise.
- Make up something.
265
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,212
Ta-da!
266
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,005
Oh, my gosh!
267
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,049
Tissues?
268
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,553
- This is my big surprise?
- [Cheyenne] Uh-huh.
269
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,180
Is there somethin' underneath there?
There's somethin' under--
270
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,894
- It's for your car.
- Yeah.
271
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,854
- [Reba] That's it.
- Yeah, for your car.
272
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,566
Uh, remember the other day
when we were driving,
273
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:21,485
and you... and you sneezed
and you didn't have a tissue?
274
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:23,320
Ta-da!
275
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,823
- Yeah. It's a great gift.
- Yeah.
276
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:29,034
You always see those people drivin',
havin' nose trouble.
277
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,119
Yeah.
278
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,830
What a better world it would be
279
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,957
if everybody had a tissue
when they needed it.
280
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,167
- [Cheyenne] Well, yeah.
- Achoo!
281
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,961
Oh. Oh. Uh--
282
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,880
- Yay!
- [chuckles]
283
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:46,594
- Hey, Van. Guess what I just saw?
- Not now. Okay, buddy?
284
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,805
I'd be in a bad mood, too,
if there was a huge scratch on my car.
285
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:51,974
What?
286
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,893
There's a huge scrape on you car.
287
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,686
Show me.
288
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,317
[door opens]
289
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,320
Hmm. Maybe he's okay with it.
290
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,114
- [Van screams]
- Oh, dear God! Go!
291
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,200
- Get it!
- All right.
292
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,086
- How could you?
- [crying]
293
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,424
- You're the one who scratched his car?
- [high-pitched] Yeah, I was.
294
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,218
Okay. All right. I have somethin' to say.
295
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,178
Kyra and I--
296
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,138
Went to the scarf museum,
297
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,390
which is not as exciting as it sounds.
298
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:37,561
Yeah, well, I was just about to say,
that's the original paint job...
299
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,479
I know.
300
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,438
...which means...
301
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,358
that it's... old paint,
302
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,777
which can't be very expensive,
so how's ten bucks?
303
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,947
Ten bucks? Ten bucks stinks!
304
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,658
Van, calm down. It's no big deal!
305
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,494
No big deal? Mrs. H, no big deal?
306
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,163
What if somebody borrowed your--
What is somethin' you love?
307
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,540
- Peanut butter.
- Well, there you go.
308
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,876
What if somebody borrowed
your peanut butter--
309
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,836
You threw me off by saying peanut butter.
310
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,631
And I know you know I use my fingers.
311
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,924
Ugh!
312
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,303
Van? Van, we will pay
313
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,722
whatever it takes to get your car fixed.
314
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,474
[Brock] Up to ten bucks.
315
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,645
Barbra Jean, who's gonna repair
the scratch in my soul?
316
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,940
Because you put that scratch there.
317
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,484
And the worst part is
you signed the Rhonda pledge!
318
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,152
I wanna hear it. Say it with me.
319
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,697
- I hereby--
- I hereby...
320
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,992
promise to, um, uphold sanctity--
321
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,119
- Say it!
- I didn't read it!
322
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,537
I just skimmed it!
323
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:42,001
Well, you should never sign anything
without reading it.
324
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,920
Van, stop torturing the woman.
325
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,422
- The truth is--
- It was me!
326
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,883
I scratched Rhonda, with my purse.
327
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,803
And I'm glad I did it.
328
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,014
- You did it?
- Mm-hmm.
329
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,850
My own flesh and blood by marriage?
330
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,480
Yeah, and... and you were
just gonna let me take the blame?
331
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,607
Oh, Rhonda was right about you.
332
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,986
Look, I was jealous, okay?
333
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,031
Van talks about this car
like it is another woman.
334
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,451
Okay, it... it's driving me nuts.
It's just a stupid car!
335
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,660
- [gasps]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
336
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,954
Easy. Honey, that's the man's car
you're talking about.
337
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,916
I shall never trust you
or forgive you again.
338
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,293
- Shall?
- [Van] Mm-hmm.
339
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,546
Shall? Since when
do you say "shall," you big jerk?
340
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,674
All right. All right. Everybody just
calm down. This has gone far enough.
341
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:34,261
I'm a jerk? I got a scratch
on my car, and I'm a jerk?
342
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:37,890
Well, I think anybody who puts a scratch
there with her purse, shall be a jerk.
343
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,727
- Stop saying shall!
- Shall. Shall. Shall. Shall. Shall.
344
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,773
Who are you, Cheyenne?
What else don't I know?
345
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:49,943
Oh, well, you obviously don't know
that I won't take a backseat to your car.
346
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,195
That's very confusing.
347
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,030
- You know what I meant!
- No, I don't!
348
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:56,700
- Oh, come on, Van. Lay off.
- Your wife skimmed my pledge.
349
00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,871
- Hey.
- Six pages, single-spaced? Oh, come on!
350
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,082
Rhonda is tearing us apart!
351
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,167
[all clamoring]
352
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,545
[whistles] I did it.
353
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,964
I did it. I scratched your car.
354
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,342
Not you. Not you. Not you. Me.
355
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,971
- I don't believe you.
- [sighs] I did, too!
356
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,642
I've been sneaking out your car.
I've been lying to everybody.
357
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,102
I'm the bad one.
358
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,021
Kyra was there. Ask her.
359
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,982
Kyra, is it true?
360
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:32,194
It's true. And there is no scarf museum.
361
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,237
What?
362
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,116
And even if there was, no.
363
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,955
You know, when I stepped on the gas peddle
and that engine roared,
364
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:44,540
it spoke to me.
365
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,501
It said, "Drive me, you sexy redhead."
366
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,338
It was you!
367
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,133
No way. She's too responsible.
368
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,218
That's why I did it!
369
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,179
You all see me as this
responsible, sensible person
370
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,640
that would never do
anything dangerous, wild or fun.
371
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,643
Well, guess what? I'm not beige.
372
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,938
There's a side of me
that has a need for speed.
373
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,484
- Reba?
- Oh, yeah.
374
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,821
A side of me that needs to burn rubber.
375
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,162
- You burned Rhonda's rubber?
- Oh, yeah.
376
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,248
Yeah. You put that baby into gear,
377
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,209
crank up the stereo,
forget all your troubles,
378
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,461
and show that punk in a Camaro
a thing or two.
379
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,049
- Mom?
- Reba?
380
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,677
I shall never look at you
the same way again.
381
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,638
Van. Van. I'm sorry I dinged your car.
382
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,224
But I get it now.
383
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,853
Rhonda and me, well, we're just
two bad girls lookin' for trouble.
384
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:54,359
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go
bake brownies for Jake's field trip.
385
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,742
Since when does Mom wear a scarf
when she bakes?
386
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:02,784
Never.
387
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,455
- Where are my keys?
- [engine starts]
388
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,624
Mrs. H, you have to sign the pledge!
389
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,086
Thelma, you're gonna need a Louise!
390
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,263
[closing theme music playing]
29733
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