Original subtitles

- Mom here? - Yeah. She's in the kitchen.

Who's got your nose? Who's got it?

Good way to make your kid feel safe.

Tell her parts of her body can get yanked off.

Hey there, neighbor! How's school?

It was like work, but without the money.

I got news for you. So is work.

So, what brings you around?

I was on my way home to Dad's, but then I remembered... Dad's there.

Dad and his third degree.

"Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing?"

Ooh, man. You'd think he's your father.

Then Barbra Jean's "reallys" start.

"Where were you really? Who were you really with?

How does the CD player really work?"

Maybe she's just naturally inquisitive. You know, like a chimp.

Look, they're just a little on edge right now,

what with your father tryin' to sell his practice

and tryin' to get this golf thing going.

Well, I wish they would stop. I can't keep hanging out at the library.

I'm getting a bad reputation.

- You want me to talk to them about it? - Ah, they wouldn't listen.

They might. I'll bring them some bananas.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey, hey.

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Cheyenne, you will never believe what happened to me today.

What?

I got asked to appear on The Huddle!

The team's cable TV show!

Oh, you mean that goofy thing on, like, channel 2,000?

- It's channel 200. - Oh.

And it's not goofy. It's very prestigious.

I'm the only rookie that's been asked to appear on it.

Oh! Hey! Look at you, Mr. Big Shot!

- It's 'cause you've been playing so well. - That's true.

And, because you're hot.

No.

Well, I mean, yeah, but that's not the only reason.

The team is startin' this big marketing campaign

to have more families come to games,

and I'm one of the few players with a family.

We are so lucky we got pregnant in high school.

Oh, yeah!

- I haven't even told you the coolest part. - What?

They asked me to have you come on the show.

Cheyenne! We're both gonna be on a TV show!

[both laugh]

[B.J.] I am gonna get you so ready for that TV show.

I can't do this.

We're just talking about it and I feel like I'm about to throw up.

They say, if you're nervous,

you should picture the people in their underwear.

- I don't recommend it. - No?

I always lose my train of thought when I do that.

- Barbra Jean. - Yes. Sorry. Anyway...

Believe me, the best thing to do when you're nervous is to talk slowly.

You should talk so slowly,

you think it... sounds... weird.

Okay...

Why do I have to be there?

Okay? I'm not on the team. I'm just your hot wife!

They're supposed to show me up in the stands

looking nervous when you get hurt!

[gasps]

I can't believe you don't want to do this! You love having people look at you.

Yeah, Van, look at me. Not ask me questions. Okay?

I was on the drill team, not the debate club.

Okay. It's okay.

- Hey! How's rehearsal going? - Great. Great.

- Go ahead, Barbra Jean. - Okay.

- Ask me a question. - [B.J.] All right. [clears throat]

So, Van, how do you balance your career with your family life?

After all, you have a fairly large extended family, don't you?

- Well-- - Not yet.

I understand that your father-in-law is remarried.

Talk about his new wife.

Can I take a crack at that one?

Okay. All right. [clears throat]

- Cheyenne's turn. - Oh, God.

Cheyenne, how has your life changed since Van turned pro?

Move. Move.

Barbra Jean, you don't ask a pretty blond hard questions.

You just admire them.

Speaking of pretty blonds, where's Brock?

Oh, upstairs. Brock!

Oh, wow, Barbra Jean, you got a new wall fairy?

Well, I had to.

Everybody knows fairies hang out in threes.

Jeez, Barbra Jean! When you yell like that, you sound just like--

Hey, Reba.

But you sure do scoot when you're called for, huh?

So, what's up?

Oh, nothin'. I was just at work today,

and Eugene was talking about you selling your practice.

He was saying that it must be kind of a tense time for you.

Yeah, well, you can tell weasel boy to mind his own business.

[laughing] Oh, I did.

But not before I made a bet with him, that even if things are tense,

that you two aren't givin' Kyra a hard time.

- You aren't, right? - [B.J.] Okay.

What is this really about?

My, you are inquisitive, aren't you?

Shoot, I meant to bring you a banana.

Okay. Wait a second. What happened? Did Kyra complain about somethin'?

No. Kyra wasn't complaining.

Then, why'd you come over here like there's some big problem to solve?

- Didn't say problem. - Good. 'Cause there's not.

The only problem is if we let Kyra play us against each other.

Right. And every time Kyra says boo,

you can't rush over here to make sure we're good parents.

Didn't rush.

You're the one who said it's important we present a united front, Reba.

I know! I know! Man, I wish I'd have brought a banana.

If I ran church, I'd have food there. Candy and hamburgers.

You'd probably have a big church.

And soda. And I'd have TVs all over the place.

And video games, and it would only be five minutes long.

[laughs]

That's the same way you said you'd run school.

That's the way I'd run everything.

Hey, wait up. We're going, too.

Cheyenne and Elizabeth are gettin' dressed.

You're going to church?

Wait a minute. What'd you do wrong?

Nothing. Church is just a good family thing to do.

Oh, this is for that show thing he's going on.

Show? What show?

Oh, right. [chuckling]

That TV thing. Jake, go grab the camera.

Mrs. H, I want you to take some pictures of us praying.

[knocking at door]

What? What?

Oh. Going to church? Good. 'Cause you got plenty to confess, sister.

If you don't change your tone, that might be true.

Dang it, Reba. We're not supposed to let her play us against each other.

Family, can't all this ugliness wait until after we've worshipped the Lord?

Brock, what are you babbling about?

Kyra and our united front.

It undermines our authority if you let her do things like this.

Things like what?

She can't come here in the middle of the night just because I yelled at her.

What? Kyra's not here.

Okay, everybody just calm down. Are you sure she's not at your house?

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh!

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

No, she's not at our house.

Maybe she got up early and went to a friend's.

Reba, I've been up since 5:00! She had to have left in the middle of the night.

What about her boyfriend, huh? That Scott kid! I will kill that kid.

- All right, what's his home number? - Um...

What if they ran away to Vegas?

Who knows Scott's home phone number?

- 555-0165. - That's it! Call him!

- 555... - 0165.

- [all] Kyra! - [B.J.] Oh, my gosh.

Come here, honey!

Oh, you are in big trouble!

Oh, my sweet baby!

It's busy. I'm gonna keep calling.

I'm sorry. Okay? I came in when everybody was asleep

and slept in my old room.

Without telling anyone?

Do you have any idea how scared we all were?

You little knuckle-bunny!

Thanks for makin' me sweat right through my church clothes!

- Oh, come here anyway! - Church clothes?

I jumped over a fire hydrant in my jammies.

Okay, Kyra. Funny joke.

Now, here's what you've won. You are grounded.

You are big-time, super-sized, new-and-improved grounded.

When you come home from school, you go to your room.

When you leave your room, you go to school. That's it.

That's not fair.

This wasn't fair.

Now you go home.

You see, Reba?

This is what I was trying to explain to you the other day.

She's just doing this to make us look like bad parents.

But we are not bad parents. In fact, we are really good parents.

And despite how this little stunt makes it look, we are totally on top of things.

Yeah!

Where's Henry?

[door slams]

Come on, Jake. We've got two more people to pray for.

[Van] Whoa! [giggles]

We're on the set. Isn't this exciting?

It doesn't match my clothes, Van. Let's go.

No, come on. There's nothing to it. You're gonna do fine.

Just remember what Barbra Jean said. [slowly] Talk...

It doesn't matter how I talk because I'm not gonna talk!

...slow.

Cheyenne!

Free doughnuts.

We've arrived.

There's our rising star!

Van Montgomery. Welcome to The Huddle. I'm Nick Marrone.

Whoa! Mad Dog Marrone.

It is an honor to meet you, sir.

Oh, this is my wife, Cheyenne.

- Cheyenne, it's nice to meet you. - [laughs nervously]

Can I get you anything before we get started?

Scotch?

Think we've got enough snacks for the Van and Cheyenne show?

Yup. Man, they are so lucky.

Don't you think it would be cool to be on a TV show?

A TV show? Nah.

I think it'd be cool to be a singer.

There you go.

You take all that in the living room, and I'll bring the drinks.

- Hey, Mom. - Hey! You here to see the big show?

Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to go directly home after school?

I'll just tell Colonel Klink I took the scenic route.

[laughs sarcastically]

Sorry, Kyra, but I'm with Colonel Klink on this one.

You scared the heck out of us the other night.

If you'd have woke me up when you got here, things would be different.

- But you handled this all wrong. - I know. I said I was sorry.

You know, the thing that kills me is that you did it knowing you'd get caught.

You did it deliberately.

- No, I didn't. - Oh, come on, Kyra. You're not stupid.

You knew, when they found out, that your father and Sergeant Schultz would freak.

I planned on waking up early and going back before they got up.

Yeah, right.

Like I did the other times.

- What? - Forget it. I'll just go home.

No, no, no. Sit down.

Are you saying you've come over in the middle of the night before?

Yes. Okay? I have.

Sometimes I just can't take the fighting and I need to get out of there.

What are you saying?

That they fight with you so much that you feel like you have to run away?

Honey, is that what's happening?

No.

They fight with each other.

Oh.

I I ...just can't stand listening to it.

It was two o'clock in the morning, and they were still yelling in their room.

I just had to get out of there.

When they come out of the theme music, they're gonna cue me.

Then it's our ball to run with.

How you feeling, Cheyenne? You nervous?

Um...

That's, uh... That's me on the monitor.

Oh, my God.

Uh, I... I look, um...

I look great.

[laughs]

Van. Van, check it out.

Look how goofy your head looks.

It's huge! [laughing]

I look great.

- Van? Van, honey? Honey? - [theme music plays on TV]

- You okay, buddy boy? - [music ends]

Welcome to The Huddle. I'm your host, Nick "Mad Dog" Marrone.

My very special guest today

is rookie stand-out linebacker and tight end, Van Montgomery.

Welcome, number 88.

[slowly] Hello. [echoing]

We're, uh...

We're also very excited to have Van's lovely wife here with us today.

- Cheyenne. - Oh, hello, Nick.

It's great to be here with you.

And with all you wonderful Houston fans. [chuckles]

Go, ThunderBears!

[snarling playfully]

- All right, Cheyenne. - Yeah!

You're the first player's wife we've had on this show.

Well, I guess that makes me a rookie, too, Nick.

[laughs forcefully]

So, Van, I know a lot of our viewers with families are just wondering

how you manage to balance the responsibilities

of professional athlete and father.

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

I got her pregnant. Uh, I play football. That's it.

[chuckles nervously, exhales]

Uh, well, Nick, Van is actually incredible at both jobs.

He gives it all he has on the playing field

and all he has at home.

You know, even after a tough practice,

he still comes home and reads Elizabeth her bedtime stories.

- Is that true, Van? - Oh, well... [chuckling nervously]

[spluttering] I...

- Why don't we take a phone call? - [Cheyenne] Okay.

You're on the air with rookie sensation number 88, Van Montgomery.

[woman on speaker] It's so nice to see a player who's a nice family man.

Cheyenne, I love your hair.

Where do you get it cut?

That is so sweet. [chuckles]

Actually, I get it cut at Salon Verona on Fair Oaks.

Now that you've given them a plug, I'm sure they're cut it for free.

Oh, really?

Well, in that case, I buy all of my clothes at Donna's Outlet on Oak.

I got her pregnant.

Back to the phones.

You're in The Huddle with Van and Cheyenne Montgomery.

[man on speaker] Yeah, hey! I think Van is a lucky guy.

I mean, he has a beautiful wife who's so supportive of him.

Well, makeup! I'm blushing! [laughs]

That's so nice!

Well, you shouldn't be. That guy was right on the mark.

Oh, Nick. Thank you.

- Let's take another call. - Okay.

You're on the air with, uh, Cheyenne Montgomery.

[B.J. on speaker] I understand that Van's father-in-law is remarried?

Talk about his new wife.

[sighs] Let's go ahead and save that one for Oprah, lady.

So, Van, you sure seem like a guy who just has it all.

I mean, you have a beautiful wife, wonderful child.

Tell us all what it's like to be a guy who's on top of the world.

[gasping]

- Hey. - Oh, did you see it?

- If you didn't, I taped it. - Yeah, I saw it.

Good job on coaching them.

Unbelievable. Kyra's 15 minutes late.

You know what that means? No TV for the rest of the week.

Well, that's great. Then she can just sit in the kitchen and stare at me.

- Actually, she's over at my house. - What?

She's not supposed to go anywhere after school. She's grounded.

I know that, Brock. Maybe we oughta talk about that.

About you undermining our authority?

Neato. Let's do talk about that.

Look, what Kyra did the other night was wrong. We all get that.

Kyra gets that.

But maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if she had some place to go to to chill out.

Oh, boy. How mad would you have been

if I'd suggested something like that when she was living with you?

[chuckles] Touché. But the point is, she's over at my house.

No, Reba. No, I don't think it's a good idea.

Now, would you please go ask Kyra to come home?

Pronto.

You're not the only one who speaks French.

I don't think I'm willing to do that.

At least not until we talk about this.

We have talked about it! Wha--

What is going on? What is she telling you?

- I really can't say. - Why not?

Because she--

Just because.

Well, gee! I thought you wanted to talk, Reba.

Touché back at ya!

She says that you guys yell at each other.

[laughing]

Us? Oh... Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's believable.

Barbra Jean, I'm not trying to get in your business here.

Well, it's not true.

The biggest argument we have is who loves the other one more.

I win.

- Barbra Jean. - No, we don't yell.

- It's okay. - We don't yell!

I think it's hard for her to listen to.

Maybe because, you know, how it was in the end between Brock and me.

Well, it's not like that with us, Reba.

It's always funny when we yell.

[chuckles] Yeah.

We've sure been laughing a lot around here lately.

I just want my daughter to feel safe.

And she does feel safe.

Why are we even talking about this?

Barbra Jean, if she's feelin' like she felt the other night

and can't come to my house, she's gonna go somewhere.

And I don't think I'm gonna let that happen.

So, what are we saying here?

[sighs] I'm gonna tell her she's allowed to come to my house when she needs to

as long as she tells you.

Fine. 'Cause she won't need to.

I mean, she's just makin' a mountain out of a molehill.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on the pot roast.

It's Kyra's favorite, although I bet she tells you she hates it.

You always think the kids don't hear it, you know?

Yeah.

Well, tell her it's fine with me.

Okay.

By the way, she really does hate pot roast.

Yeah, me too.

[closing theme music playing]