Original subtitles

Hey.

Remember when I said we could save money for Kyra's college fund

by growin' our own food?

- Uh-huh. - Well, crops are in.

- Well, that is amazing. - Hmm.

You spent months planting and weeding and fertilizing,

and next thing you know, you've... you've almost got a carrot.

Good morning, neighbors.

So, Kyra, you ready to hit the mall?

Yeah. Before we go, I need you to sign

this permission slip for a school field trip.

Sure.

This is to get your navel pierced.

Cool. I thought we were going to the science center.

All right.

Man, I gotta start reading those things.

Okay, I'm gonna go change, then we'll go.

- Why don't you just wear that? - My old gardening shirt?

- Uh-huh. - Shoot.

I've patched this thing a hundred times.

I only wear it to scare the crows away.

I never thought I'd say this, but what you're wearing is cool.

Wait. Are you saying I'm cool?

I'm saying your shirt is cool.

Kyra's right. Patchwork is the new silk.

I want to be cool.

I wish I'd saved my old rags and patched them onto a shirt.

I'll give you $20 for that shirt.

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Barbra Jean.

I'm not gonna sell you the shirt off my back.

Okay.

- I get it. Thirty. - No way.

- Forty. - Sixty.

- Sixty-five. - Sold!

Yeah!

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey-hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Hey, honey. What you doin'?

Oh, you look beautiful.

I bet you're in a good mood.

I got you a fudge-covered apple.

Wow.

This looks like an apology apple.

What'd you do?

Nothin'...

yet.

Hey. You know how when we're goin' somewhere,

and you get all mad because you're waitin' for me because I'm doing my hair?

Mm-hmm.

Well, those days are over,

'cause all the guys on the football team are shavin' their heads!

You want to shave your head?

If that's what it takes to make you happy. Yes.

Forget it, Van. You know how I freaked when you got that perm.

Which...

We don't talk about the perm.

Look, it's for work.

If I don't do it because my wife won't let me,

all the guys will make fun of me.

This isn't like high school taunting, okay?

They're pro football players. They're clever.

Mom, Van wants to shave his head.

For business purposes.

Why don't you practice by mowing the lawn?

I absolutely forbid you to do this. End of discussion.

[scoffs] But all the guys are doin' it.

I can't be the only one with soft wavy brown hair.

Well, whatever you do, don't get another one of those perms.

[exclaims]

So, Reba, I got good news.

What? Brock came to his senses about quittin' his job to play golf?

I have not come to my senses, Reba.

And I never will.

So, you remember that shirt that you sold me?

No refund.

No. I showed it to a friend who took it to a guy that he works with,

and he said that he thinks he could sell those shirts.

- We're gonna be rich! - Sure, we're gonna be rich.

And Brock's gonna beat Tiger Woods at the Fat Chance Desert Classic.

Reba, I'm serious. We should do this.

You know, a lot of people make money selling things they make.

And a lot of people lose money by selling things they make.

Yeah. But you don't hear about those people.

Well, maybe you got a point. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones.

So, um, you don't mind if I kind of take this and run with it?

[chuckles] Barbra Jean, you can run with this idea.

You can run with scissors.

You can run with the bad crowd, just so long as you run.

Why do you want to shave your head?

Because everyone else is.

Jeez!

So it's okay to do something just 'cause everyone else is doing it?

Yeah.

- To be cool. - Thanks.

- Hey, Jakey, where are you going? - Graveyard.

Hi, honey. You look really pretty.

I know. You're still not shaving your head.

Why do we always have to fight about stuff, huh?

I think the world would be a better place

if people with opposing views would just agree.

[blows raspberry]

Oh. Very mature. Listen, what I'm trying to say--

- [blows raspberry] - Cut it out.

[both blowing raspberries]

Ah, the roundtable.

Kyra, don't you think Van would look stupid if he shaved his head?

Yes. But are we gonna list all the ways that he would look stupid,

'cause I've only got a few years until college.

[blows raspberry]

Look, everybody's doing it to show unity.

- All right? - Oh.

To show we're all on the same team.

Oh, jeez.

If only there were a way to do that with matching jerseys!

- I can't talk to you. - [scoffs]

- Van, do you mind if I speak for you? - Yeah.

No.

I don't know. What?

Van's trying to say that playing on a team involves

complex group dynamics,

and seemingly self-destructive acts

are actually initiation rites that foster camaraderie.

Didn't I just say that?

Look, I know it's dumb. So what?

It was dumb when my high school team dressed in drag on game days.

You didn't say anything about that then.

Huh. That's the first time I heard those were game days.

Look, this is important to me. Okay?

Right now, I'm the new guy. Rookie.

I just want to feel like I belong.

But I don't want you to do it.

- Why not? - Just because.

- Well, that's not good enough. - Well, it used to be.

You don't even care what I think.

You just want me to agree with the decision you've already made.

Yes. Thank you for understanding.

You know what?

Do whatever you want. I don't care.

[door closes]

You were the prettiest on game days.

I thought so, too.

Good news, Reba. I shot a two under par.

I hit a 7-iron on 18... tap-in for birdie.

Oh, that's terrific, Brock.

Go in the kitchen and get yourself a cookie.

- Oh, good, Brock. You're here. - [Brock] Hey.

I have excellent news.

Can it top how Brock killed seven birdies with his 18-wood?

Oh, good job, honey.

And, I bet you're gonna be proud of me, too.

Three hundred dollars.

I sold the shirt.

That buyer loved them so much,

he ordered a hundred of them to sell in his stores all over town.

- This is just the deposit. - That's great, honey.

- Isn't that great, Reba? - Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And he said that this is just the first order.

He said that he can see all of Houston wearing these shirts.

And after that, all of Texas.

And after that...

he didn't say.

But if he did, I bet he would have said America.

Wow. This is just like me with golf.

Yeah. Except I've got a big fat check. Yeah.

No. I... I meant you have a lot of potential.

Oh, I do. And I have a big fat check. [chuckles]

Wow. This is somethin'.

So that guy said that my shirts could sell like that?

Well, you know, he didn't mention you, but... yes.

Wow. That's great. So fork over my $150.

- Why would I do that? - 'Cause it's my shirt.

My design is the hip new thing.

[chuckles] Who knew?

Well, not you. [chuckles]

And, uh, it wasn't so much your design he bought, as my salesmanship.

Oh. Well, does he want a hundred of your salesmanship,

or a hundred of my design?

You know, the way I see it, you guys did this together.

Hmm. We really didn't.

I recognized the potential of the shirt,

and Reba didn't want any part of it.

She told me to run with it. And I did.

Me. Not her.

Right. But it was my shirt.

Which I bought, which would make it my shirt.

[chuckles]

I bought a greeting card once. That doesn't make me Hallmark.

Well, I bought a lollipop once. Doesn't make me a sucker.

This is my idea, my business, my company, and my money.

Ah. Your idea, my design.

Your business, my design. Do you get where I'm going with this?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Why don't you guys just share?

No. She had her chance.

Oh, come on, Barbra Jean. It was Reba's design.

It's only fair that she gets half.

Now, you remember what your mother taught you.

Don't shave above the knee unless you're expecting company?

No. The other thing.

[clicks tongue]

He who is fair... [sighs] ...makes friends everywhere.

Okay. Fine. But if she gets half the money, she does half the work.

Well, of course I will.

I've been looking for a way to get some cash for Kyra's college fund.

Apparently I'll do anything.

Fine. You win.

We'll work together, but I'll call the shots.

[chuckles] If you hear any shots, they're comin' from me.

- [B.J.] Time to get started. - [door closes]

Barbra Jean, take a breath.

I mean, even if we do three shirts a night, we're still ahead of schedule.

[sniffs] What's that?

The stink of mediocrity?

Okay. Moving forward.

I have cut up a bunch of fabric for patches.

So, why don't you make a prototype for us to work from?

- What about the shirt I already made? - It was left with the buyer.

What? Why would you do that?

Hmm. Management made a decision. We're gonna have to live with it.

Okay. Fine.

Go back and get the shirt, we'll start again tomorrow.

And lose a whole day? Unacceptable!

[high-pitched] We've got shirts. We've got patches. Do that thing you do!

If you don't lower your voice,

I'm gonna do that thing I've always wanted to do.

Reba, I knew you were gonna ruin this for me.

Ruin what?

Barbra Jean, quit bein' so testy.

I am not testy.

I am a serious businesswoman.

Okay.

Well, I'll be glad when this company can afford a psychiatrist.

Hey, Cheyenne. What ya doin'?

Making a list of insulting names to call Van

when he gets back from shaving his head.

You know, I can't believe he's doing that

after I absolutely, positively told him not to.

Oh, my gosh.

This is the first husband who's ever had a problem with a direct order.

Did you happen to tell him why you didn't want him to do it?

No.

Ah. We may be on to something.

Look, I can ask you what's wrong, and eventually you'll tell me.

Then I'll go to Van and tell him.

Then he'll tell me his side of the story, and I'll just get you two to work it out.

But you know what? I still got dinner to make.

So go talk to him.

Yeah, but Van doesn't have a side, Mom.

Of course he does.

That's what marriage is, finding out each other's side.

Go talk to him.

- All right. I get it. It's just I-- - Go talk to him.

- I just feel like our marriage-- - Him! Him!

- [scoffs] - [whistles]

You know, you can be very annoying sometimes, Mother.

- The kid has a point. - Aw, shut up!

What's it gonna be?

Shave it.

- [razor whirring] - Bet you hear this a lot.

My old lady doesn't want me to do it.

[whirring stops]

But I mean, it's... It's my head.

- It should be my decision. - [razor whirring]

I just hate when she's mad at me.

[whirring stops]

I don't know. I don't know. What do you think?

[whirring]

Okay. Okay.

Let's do it.

Stop!

[whirring stops]

I guess there's no way to, uh...

comb that over, is there?

Van, I need to talk to you.

Could you give us a minute, please?

Sure. I'll go see if that stripy thing is turning.

What is it, Cheyenne? I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Whoa! That feels weird.

Do this, and then do this.

Look, Van.

My mom...

My mom said that I should, um,

tell you why I didn't want you to do this,

instead of just ordering you around.

- Well, I think that makes-- - Let me finish.

I didn't want you to do this because it made me feel left out.

Oh, Cheyenne.

You want to shave your head, too?

No. My hair's beautiful.

I felt left out because,

you know, you have this job, and it's...

It's taking up all these areas of your life.

And now, it's... it's taking your hair.

Yeah. But this... this... This doesn't mean anything.

This is just something I have to do for my job.

It's similar to how some people have to take a certain test to get a job.

Like when a bartender has to pass the bar.

Look, it used to be just you and me.

Now you have this whole other life, and I'm...

I'm not even a part of it.

Hey. I... I tried to make you a part of it.

I mean, I came to you two times.

I mean, I wanted your support. I... I... I wanted you to be here with me,

because I'm doing this for you and Elizabeth.

I'm doing this for our future.

I mean, do you think I really want to look like the mayor of Munchkinland?

Look, I'm sorry, Van. It's just...

You know, this is the only Van I've ever known.

Look... Look...

If you don't want me to finish, I... I guess I don't have to.

I mean, yeah, I...

I'm pretty sure we can afford a very narrow toupee.

Mm-hmm.

So, what's it gonna be?

- Okay. Jake's in bed. - [sewing machine whirring]

How's your head? Are you sane yet?

No. I feel like a failure. We failed.

I didn't fail. I ain't started yet.

- [sobs] Oh, God. - Barbra Jean.

Calm down. We got plenty of time.

No, we don't. We don't know how much time we have.

Sure, we do. The shirts aren't due till next Friday.

Reba, open your eyes. I'm not talking about the shirts.

I'm talking about Brock.

I mean, he's... he's selling the practice.

He wants to play pro golf.

I don't think he knows what he's doin'.

Oh, honey. Is that what you're worried about?

Of course he doesn't know what he's doin'.

He's making all these changes, Reba.

What if the next change he wants to make is me?

Aw, that's not gonna happen.

Look, you'll forgive me if I don't find much comfort

in the assurances of his ex-wife.

If the worst does happen, Reba,

I just need to know that I can be something other than Brock's wife.

But, apparently, I can't.

I can't even be the crazy lady that makes shirts.

Barbra Jean, he loves you.

Oh, Reba, he loved you, too.

The man's a pig.

The company finally agrees on something.

- Barbra Jean, look at me. - Mm-mm.

Look at me. Look at me!

Brock isn't goin' anywhere.

He loves you. He's crazy about you. Okay?

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Now, let's see what you got goin' here.

No.

Mm-mm.

[whines]

Barbra Jean, I gotta look at it sometime.

Come on.

If they like patches, they're gonna love these.

Oh, God, it's so ugly.

[door opens]

[sighs] Don't scream. It's me.

I know. You know, actually, I'm kind of getting used to it.

By the time it grows back, I might even miss it.

When's that gonna be, by the way?

Hey, honey, it's Daddy.

I didn't treat you like that when you were bald.

Cheyenne, I think I made a mistake.

No. You just have to remember why you did it,

to be like one of the guys.

[laughs]

Well, see,

the other guys didn't do it.

- What? - Yeah. They tricked me.

They're mean. Hold me.

Aw.

Oh, honey.

[closing theme music playing]