Original subtitles

- [tv playing in background] - Come on, Jake. Finish up.

- You didn't pour my milk. - That's because you never tip me.

Why didn't you say something?

I was waiting for a commercial.

You're watching a commercial.

Oh!

Then can I get one of those?

Jake, look, cereal!

Hey, Mom, can you pick Elizabeth up after work?

Oh, honey, I can't. I gotta get Jake from karate.

Oh, but I have a night class and Van has scrimmage.

Oh! Can I get one of those?

Okay, fine. I'll figure out a way to get Elizabeth.

- Oh, thank you, Mom. - You bet.

Oh, shoot. I am running late. Can one of you guys drop off Jake?

Oh, I can't. I've gotta take Elizabeth to her checkup.

- Van, what about you? - Sure.

Oh, wait. Today? No, I can't.

Oh, well, thanks for getting my hopes up.

- Jake, why aren't you eating? - I don't have a spoon.

Is this your first breakfast?

Here.

- Hey, Reba, you got a second? - Sure. It's my slow time.

I was wondering if Jake could come over to our house for dinner tonight.

It's kind of a special occasion. We're having cake and ice cream.

What, Barbra Jean's got a new Beanie Baby?

Seriously?

It's number 450, which is a state record. Can he come?

- Please? - I don't know.

It's a school night, and you'll have homework.

I'll pick him up after school.

Heck, I'll even drop him off now, if you want me to.

Okay, fine, but you owe me.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey-hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

- Hey. - Hey, Kyra. How was school?

Good. But I really missed you today.

Oh.

I know you want something,

but this is one fiddle that says, "Play me."

Look.

Is that a cat?

Can we keep her? Please?

Oh, Kyra, you know your father is deathly allergic to cats.

What's her name?

Well, she doesn't have one yet. Hey, maybe you--

Clap-Clap Kitty Cat...

Okay.

...the Third.

Well, Mimi found her and her dad said they had to get rid of it.

Oh, I don't know, Kyra.

I'm not even sure my dad's really allergic to cats.

He just doesn't want one.

He told my Mom once that he was allergic to minivans.

Oh, he is, Kyra.

We test-drove one.

Please, Barbra Jean.

I don't want to sound all mushy, but there's just something about her.

She seems like she's lonely, like she needs someone to love her.

Like a certain teenage girl?

Yes.

Well, okay.

We'll keep her hidden in the attic.

No...

The "cattic."

[laughing]

Oh, that is a great place to hide a cat.

In fact, it's almost...

Say it. Come on, Kyra.

-"Purr-fect"? - Yeah.

- Hey, Van. - Oh, hey, Mrs. H. How was work?

Oh, what can I say? It's a dentist's office.

People scream, and we take their money.

Hey, Mrs. H, if I were to tell my professor

that it's against my religion to study economics,

would you give me a note to back me up?

Van, for the fifth day in a row, no.

Where is everybody?

Oh, Cheyenne's over at Mr. H's,

and Jake took Elizabeth to a "Mommy and Me" class.

Switch that.

Jake's over at Brock's again?

Oh, man. Did he do his homework first?

Well, he didn't do mine. I can tell you that.

No, he didn't.

See, that's the bad thing about Brock and Barbra Jean

living right down the street.

That and the fact that Brock and Barbra Jean

live right down the street.

Oh, and Mr. H called.

He said that Jake's gonna be eating over there tonight,

and he'll walk him home later.

He's eating over there again? That's the fourth time this week.

Well, you know what economists say.

I have no idea. Please, write me a note!

And I'll bet they're not having healthy food.

Yeah, I bet they're having cake and ice cream

and cooking hot dogs on a stick in the fireplace.

Hot dogs on a stick?

Do you know that for a fact?

And I bet he's drinking sodas

and playing video games all night long.

Well, this is an outrage.

I should march over there, keep an eye on him.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll do it.

I was a little busy, and Brock took advantage of me.

I'm gonna put an end to this right now.

Be sure and bring back some hot dogs.

All righty, this has got to stop.

Thank you for your blessings, Lord.

- Amen. - [all] Amen.

Too late, Reba,

but maybe, if you hurry, you can stop the neighbors from saying grace.

- What's up, Mom? - Up? Oh, nothing.

I was just passing by and figured it would be really funny

if I just came running in here like a wild woman.

[laughing]

Wasn't that funny?

That was really funny.

Thank you, buddy. So. Dinner, huh?

What you having there, Jakey?

It's "Brock-oli." [laughs]

Is there something you need, Reba?

Like maybe a doorbell?

She can have my "Brock-oli."

[chuckling] Just eat your vegetables, bud. Reba?

Actually, Brock, I would like to speak to you privately in the other room.

About what?

I guess I'm going to tell you in the other room.

Excuse me.

- [sneezes] - Bless you.

What's going on here?

It's called family dinner.

It's a strange ritual that we do every night at 6:00.

Please don't report us to the authorities.

Brock, Jake has homework, and I don't want him doing it

when you finally drag him home when he's all tired out.

Yeah, me neither. That's why I had him do today's homework before dinner.

That's tomorrow's assignment.

Wait a minute.

You get him to do his homework and you get him to eat his "Brock-oli,"

and he still wants to come over here?

- Why? - Well, I don't know, Reba.

Maybe for the same reason that I like it when he comes over here.

- Yeah? Why's that? - Because...

Eh, forget it. It's silly.

Yeah, so were our wedding vows, but I listened.

Because it feels like it used to feel when we were all together.

It feels like a family.

Hey, well, last time I checked,

we were still a family over at my house, too.

Look, I think his coming over here is a good thing.

Now, can I please go eat my dinner?

You guys cooking hot dogs?

[imperceptible]

Hey, Ma. What are you doing?

Eating chips.

Look at this. "Family size."

Even the snacks are mocking me.

We're not the family we used to be, Cheyenne.

Oh, no. Grandma died.

No!

Brock moved out. Kyra moved out.

Jake would rather be over there.

My whole family is slowly moving three houses thataway.

Well, Ma, if you're feeling lonely, Van and I could have more kids.

It's just that at your dad's house,

they have the kind of life I always thought I'd have.

They sit down to meatloaf at six o'clock.

We have leftovers between commercial breaks.

We stink!

Like normal people.

Mom, look around. That's America.

Over at Dad's, they're like a bunch of French people.

I feel like Jake's missing out on the kind of life that you guys had.

I mean, you liked the way it used to be, right?

Of course I did, but we're all really busy.

I'm not gonna drop out of school to have meatloaf at six o'clock.

- And there's nothing we can do about it. - Nothing we can do about it?

There's always something we can do about it.

- We can try harder. - Try harder how?

- We can start having dinner together. - Ooh. Gotta take a rain check.

I got a study group, and Van, he's really busy.

- Love ya. - Well, don't plan anything for breakfast.

We're going French!

Just like those people three doors down.

[sneezes]

- Well, Clap-Clap's doing great up there. - Oh, yeah?

[in nasal voice] She's fine. I'm dying.

You're not "cat-tageous," are you?

Don't try to kiss up. Although, good one.

I'm allergic to her.

I thought you owned cats before? The other Clap-Claps.

No. Sadly, Clap-Claps I and II were imaginary.

Number one died, and number two ran away.

- Well, is Dad sick, too? - No.

You were right. He was lying, the cheat.

And if I wasn't keeping it secret from him, I would bust him on it.

I would let the cat out of the bag.

[laughing]

- How you feeling, honey? - [sneezes]

I told you...

I'm fine.

Ha. God help us if you ever get sick.

[laughs]

Kyra, were you just up in the attic?

We have an attic?

Well, we need to call an exterminator.

I just heard something running around up there.

- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.

I meant, "Yes, you did."

I said "No, you didn't,"

meaning, like, "No!

"You didn't!

Get out of town!"

You know, that sort of thing.

I've been forgetting to be more emphatic lately.

You really should get some rest.

And give the exterminator a call, okay?

Okay, I will!

Okay.

Okay, Kyra, I'm sorry. Look.

This cat has got to go.

I'm a puffy-eyed snot machine.

Just give me some more time.

Do it in loving memory of Clap-Clap the First.

You know, today would have been her birthday.

Hey, Van.

- Who's home? - Just me.

Wait. Don't tell me. You cut your hair.

Listen. I brought you a little something.

Whoa, a cat? You can't bring a cat in here.

Cheyenne is deathly allergic.

Nobody is allergic to cats.

Oh, yeah? Her eyes get all runny,

her face swells up if she's anywhere near one.

Even a pretty little thing like you.

Maybe she's just doing that because she doesn't want you

to have a cat.

Doing what? Swells her face?

Come on, Van, please. You've gotta help me.

[in high-pitched voice] Just take me for a "widdle" while.

I'm "vewy, vewy wuvable."

[coughs]

- She is awfully cute. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, and I always liked dogs.

- How different could a cat be? - [door opens]

Hello! Anybody home?

It'll be our little secret.

Hey, B.J. Hey, sweetie.

Hey, Cheyenne, you're ho-- You're home ear--

You're home-- [yelps]

Barbra Je-- [yelps]

He is such a good dancer.

[sneezes]

- [in nasal voice] Morning, Mom. - Oh, honey, you look terrible.

Van said I looked good.

Van lied.

Oh, you poor thing.

Here, have a seat and I'll make you some pancakes.

- I can't eat anything. - Oh, please.

We can't have a family breakfast without any family,

even if you are all yucky.

- Have a seat. - Okay.

And could you smile a little more?

See? Van was right. You do look good.

And there he is.

Now, as soon as Van gets here,

we'll all sit down to our nice family breakfast,

like the family that we are.

- What's wrong with you? - I'm being nice. Shut up.

There's your cereal, Jake, in a bowl, just the way you like it.

Good morning, everyone.

- Hello, dear. - Hi.

Hey there, sport.

What are you doing?

Cheyenne filled me in, and I want to show Jake

that there's still a daddy in this house.

The paperboy threw this

under the sprinkler again this morning.

[laughs] The little cuss.

This is all wet.

- Knock it off. And take off that sweater. - Well, not in front of the little ones.

- [sneezes] - Bless you.

So, isn't this nice?

It's been a while since we have all eaten together at the same time.

So, Jake, how's school going, little buddy?

- I'm done. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Nobody gets to leave until we're all done.

We're never gonna finish.

Can I turn on the TV?

No. We're not watching TV.

You know, I swear, young man,

you keep looking at that thing, and your head will turn into a boob tube.

We're going to talk.

Now, who wants to start off the lively breakfast conversation?

- Well, what are we having for dinner? - [Reba] Ah!

Good point. Good point.

Hey.

- Hey. - Why is everyone eating together?

Oh, my gosh. Grandma's dead.

No, we're having a family meal like families do.

Okay. Well, why is Van dressed like my science teacher?

- Kyra, why don't you join us? - I can't.

Barbra Jean told me she left my schoolbook with you,

and I'd like to get it back.

My schoolbook?

The black-and-white book?

The Cat in the Hat?

I don't know.

He's wearing a hat... The cat!

Oh! Right. Uh, the book.

Kyra, I want that book out of here. It's making me sick.

- [sneezes] - [both] Bless you.

Come on, Kyra. We're having family time.

Then turn on the TV.

That's what I said!

We're not turning on the TV.

Kyra! Kyra! [chuckles nervously]

Your, uh, schoolbook got out of its box.

- What? You lost my cat? - [splutters]

You brought a cat into this house?

[splutters] No.

[squeals]

Clap-Clap!

Was that some sort of dog?

- Van, you get back here. - This is better than TV.

Elizabeth, would you like a pancake?

Hey, Van. I got a joke.

Why is six afraid of seven?

I must admit, I'm stumped.

'Cause seven ate nine.

Ah, precious.

Hey, guys. Van, why are you still wearing that sweater?

Well, it's chilly in the house, and the sweater warms me.

And you lost your receipt from the thrift store.

And there's that, too.

Hey, Mom, what's for dinner?

Hot dogs on a stick?

- No. The three of us are having chicken. - [sighs]

But, Jake, if you want to go over to your dad's for dinner, it's fine.

- No. I'll stay here. - Honey, I mean it.

- You should be able to have a family meal. - I do.

Well, not over here. We're eating at all different times.

And I eat with all of you.

Sometimes I have four family meals a day.

I'm lucky.

Wow.

Well, that was a loaded "wow."

What's going on up there, Mrs. H?

Well, all this time I thought Jake was missing out on something.

Well, Mrs. H,

did you ever stop to think that maybe that wonderful little boy in there

has the best of both worlds?

I mean, he's got two great homes,

three wonderful parents and a whole mess of people who really love him.

And isn't that the most important thing?

I think so.

How can that pipe make you look so goofy but sound so wise?

"Goofy"? Well, someone needs to put a nickel in the swear jar, young lady.

Why don't I instead go make you a hot dog on a stick?

Yes!

[closing theme music playing]