All language subtitles for Reba.S03E07.The.Ghost.and.Mrs.Hart.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

Mom, you love me, right?

Sounds like a trick question, but, yes.

Great. Then pretend I called you
a bad name and ground me.

Why?

Hey, hey!

Who's ready to go to Teddy Bears On Ice?

I'm gonna wash
your mouth out with soap, young lady.

- You're grounded!
- I hate you, Mom! [softly] Thanks.

- Nice try, Kyra.
- [sighs]

Sorry.

Where's Jakey? I wanna get his picture
taken with all the Teddy Bears.

He must be upstairs
saying goodbye to his dignity.

What's the big deal?
I'm lookin' forward to it.

They have Heineken on tap, so...

I thought you said
you were gonna have Jakey ready to go.

He didn't sleep very well
last night, Brock.

He had nightmares. Any idea why?

Dad let him watch scary movies.

You and the Teddy Bears started it.

So, he's learning how to process fear.
It's a good thing.

It might not be the movies that
scared him. It might be because--

Kyra!

- Because what?
- Nothing.

- Dad's house is haunted.
- [sighs]

Wow. How bitter am I
about going to this thing?

Could we just let it go?

Well, the real estate agent told Dad
that a former owner died in the house.

He didn't die in the house.

He just happened to be home
at the time he passed away.

- You bought a haunted house?
- It's not haunted!

And next to toxic mold, death is one of
the best bargaining chips in real estate.

Now can we please stop talking about this
before Barbra Jean hears?

Fine by me. Making Barbra Jean nuts is
only fun when you don't live with her.

I don't live with her.

- No. No, Reba! You can't tell her!
- Oh, why not?

Because she might get scared
and keep you up at night?

It might help her learn to process fear.

I am not kidding, Reba.
She really believes everything.

I mean, ghosts, witches.

She even thinks the bag boy down at
the grocery store gave her the evil eye!

I like that kid.

Okay! We're all ready! [chuckles]

I don't wanna go!

I sat through your Christmas pageant.
You're going.

You'll never believe what I heard about
the people who used to live in your house.

Oh, really? What?

[laughing] We better get going
if we wanna beat the traffic.

Come on, Jake. Let's go.

Wow, I've heard of people dyin' to sell
their house, but, wow!

Okay, everybody in the car,
away from Reba.

Oh, Brock. I'm just teasing.

I'm not gonna tell Barbra Jean
that someone died in your house.

Unless it slips.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey-hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

[rattling]

She nailed the drawers shut.
And hid the knives.

Not that I was looking for one.

[rattling]

- Why did you do this?
- Ghosts like to open drawers.

So do I.

Since when?

Since your ghostly essence
entered my husband's weak vessel?

- Brock, can you hear me? Brock.
- [groans]

I am not possessed, Barbra Jean.

And there is nothing wrong
with this house.

For pity's sake, we've lived here for
three months, and nothing has happened!

What about all those noises
I heard in the garage last week?

Is that what you're
worried about, sweetheart?

I have good news. It was rats.

Well, how about when all
my Beanie Babies ended up in the attic?

That was--

- You're right. That was a little weird.
- Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

That's no way to answer
the door in a haunted house.

You're supposed to go...
[in deep voice] ..."You rang?" [groans]

- [laughs]
- Oh, that's very funny.

Well, I hope you're happy.
You've made Barbra Jean crazy.

Oh, Barbra Jean was born crazy, Brock.

I can't take credit for God's work.

All right, fine. You made your point.

I won't let Jake watch
any more scary movies.

Now, will you please tell Barbra Jean
there are no ghosts in this house?

- Why don't you tell her?
- Oh, she won't listen to me.

I still can't convince her
that the ghost won't get us

just because we're not
all in the same room.

[B.J.] Family safety count! One!

- Two.
- [B.J.] Kyra!

Three.

Please, Reba. Talk to her.
She'll listen to you.

Oh. Hi, Reba.

You are Reba, aren't you?

You're Reba, all right.

- Oh, and you can be number four.
- Okay.

What number is that lady behind you?

Oh, what lady?

- [screams]
- Barbra Jean!

No. No lady. There is no lady.

No, because she just
went through that wall.

Oh!

Oh, my gosh.
Is it suddenly chillier in here? Brr.

- Oh, gosh!
- Brr!

Like a grave! Oh, I gotta get out of here.

[laughing]

- What did you do that for?
- I can't help it. It's funny.

Funny? Funny? You think it's funny

that I had to spin around ten times
last night before I got into bed?

I broke a perfectly good lamp!

[chuckling] It's a little funny.

I can't stay here. We're gonna spend
the day at the mall.

- Reba!
- Yeah, you'll be safer there.

Or... or... or you could
just hang out at Reba's.

Ooh! Even better!
I'll see you at home, Reba.

Now it's a little funny.

[B.J.] And that's when I saw it.

All the sticks at the base of that tree,

spelled out the words, "Barbra Jean."

But not in a language
anyone's ever seen before.

Oh, my gosh. I know that language.

[speaking gibberish]

- [in English] What does that mean?
- Go home!

Well, where do you want me to go?

Brock's still at work,
and Kyra's not home from school yet.

You certainly don't expect me to be alone
in a house with a ghost.

- You have a ghost?
- Oh, yeah. Someone died there.

[laughs] That doesn't mean anything.

Where you get this crazy connection

between ghosts and dead people
is beyond me.

You know what?

- I wonder if anyone ever died here.
- People died in our house?

[chuckling] Not yet.

- Hey, Jake. You want a Popsicle?
- Oh, I ate the last one.

- Okay. How 'bout a cookie?
- Nope. Those are gone, too.

- Ice cream?
- Guilty.

I think the ghost
at her house starved to death.

All right. Henry and Elizabeth
are finally down for their nap.

Oh, you guys, thanks so much
for watching Henry.

I couldn't possibly let a baby
spend the night in a haunted house.

I don't believe in ghosts.
I believe in the circle of life.

Hakuna tatata-ta!

You know, it's great for Elizabeth to have
someone her own age to play with.

I mean, how much time
can an adult spend playing peek-a-boo?

Tell me about it. "Where's Elizabeth?"

- I know she's right there.
- [Cheyenne] Yeah.

Well, we don't play
those kind of games with Henry.

We give him toys that expand his mind.

- Henry plays with that?
- Uh-huh.

Isn't that toy for,
like, ages five and up?

Oh, yeah.

But they just put those ages on the box
to make dumb kids' parents feel better.

- So, what does Elizabeth play with?
- Mostly her feet.

- [B.J.] Oh.
- She can fit five toes in her mouth.

Anyway, I bet Reba's
looking for me by now.

[shouts] Reba! Hey, wait Reba!

We need to get Elizabeth a tutor, now.

Van. [chuckles]

So, that's why
I didn't become a zookeeper.

Because once a kangaroo
decides it doesn't like you, forget it.

[laughs] So, tell me some of
your unfulfilled dreams.

Most of them involve you.

And a train.

- Hey.
- [Brock] Well, isn't this cozy?

Reba, I've gotta thank you.
You know, I would have worried,

leaving Barbra Jean all alone
with that ghost you told her about.

Luckily, she was over here,
safe with you all day long.

Okay, then, I can see you two
have had enough fun.

Barbra Jean, honey, you can come home.

I found out that our house
can't be haunted,

because the man who died there
had a very peaceful passing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, and then his wife,
insane with grief,

killed herself and their pet dog.

Kyra!

[imperceptible]

She was on her way back to your house.

I know. I nipped that one in the bud.

Okay. So it's come down to this.

Barbra Jean, I got you a little something.

- Oh.
- Here ya go.

"Getting Rid of the Unwanted."

- I saw it and thought of you.
- Oh!

- [mouthing]
- What is it?

It's instructions for cleansing your house
of evil spirits.

But it's not that easy, though.
It takes two people all night.

- Do you really have to have two people?
- Yep.

One, two. [chuckles] Have fun, Brock.

Well, gee, thanks, Reba.

Unfortunately, I'm not
gonna be home this weekend.

What?

He's got a golf trip in Vegas
that he can't get out of.

Hey, I only get to play golf twice.

The rest of the time, I'm stuck in Vegas.

- Kyra?
- Well, don't look at me.

- I'm spending the night at Tammy's.
- You hate Tammy.

Yeah, but at least she doesn't walk around
with a bloody ax calling,

"Here, Spot."

- [exclaims]
- Hey, you know what?

Reba bought you the book. I bet
she could help you get rid of that ghost.

Oh, Reba. Would you? I just can't live
with an evil presence in my house.

Then you shouldn't have married him.

I'm sorry, Barbra Jean,
but there is no way

I'm gonna spend the night
at your house chasing ghosts.

Well, if you won't
help me cleanse the house,

I guess I'm just gonna have to stay here
until Brock gets back.

Oh, that'd be great.
Then I could take the later flight home.

I've just got one thing to say to you.

[cursing in gibberish]

- [continues cursing in gibberish]
- [in English] Oh, no, no, no, no!

Okay. Well, I'll call you
when I get to the hotel.

Which I think is one of those really
loud ones on the Strip.

I'm not gonna get any reading done.

- Okay, sweetums. I love you.
- I love you more, huggums.

Man, this house is scary.

Okay, Reba, I'm gonna go get the stuff,
and then we can get started.

Oh, if this weren't
so terrifying, it'd be fun.

[chuckles]

Brock, next time
you leave me for somebody,

make sure she's not a big old wimp.

[chuckles] It's too bad we can't all
be as brave as you, Reba.

- Hey, you got a spider in your hair.
- [scoffs] Nice try, Brock.

[whimpering]

Look out, ghosts!
Reba's bustin' a move! [shrieking]

[imitates lock clicking] Okay.

Can we just get this over with, please?

Okey-doke. Now, according to the book,

we need to perform a séance,

contact the lingering spirit
and politely ask him to leave.

He will then communicate his responses

through the supernatural powers
of the Ouija board.

"Made by Parker Brothers.

Fun for the whole family,
living and dead."

All right. [clears throat]

Hello, spirit world,

residin' here at 4282 Oak Avenue.

This is Barbra Jean and Reba callin'.

Say hello, Reba.

'Sup?

If there is an otherworldly presence
in this house, please speak to us.

It's movin'! It's movin'!

- 'Cause you're movin' it.
- I'm not! You're movin' it.

I'm not movin' it.

Are you movin' it?
You're movin' it, aren't ya?

Reba?

Reba?

- [in deep voice] I'm not Reba.
- [screams]

[laughing]

[B.J. screams]

All right. The kids are
all bathed and ready for bed.

And Elizabeth is waiting for you upstairs

to go sing your goofy opera version
of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Well, singin' opera
won't make her smarter.

What are you talkin' about?

I've been reading these
child development books.

- We've been doing it wrong with Elizabeth.
- I don't think so, Van.

Oh, yes, we have.
We've wasted so much time.

All that time I spent
blowin' on her stomach,

I could have been teachin' her
the periodic table of elements.

Van, Elizabeth laughs
when you blow on her stomach.

Well, there's plenty of time for laughter
later, when she's a chemist.

Okay. All right, look.

I do not know what
you are all worked up about.

I told you, it is completely normal
for kids to develop at different rates.

What if she's behind
the other kids to begin with?

- Why would she be behind?
- Because of me.

Maybe I'm not the sharpest tool
in the chandelier.

- You're plenty sharp.
- Yeah, right.

I couldn't tie my shoe
until I was five years old.

Yeah, and your Mom told me why.

Because when you put
the little rabbit through the rabbit hole,

all of a sudden, your shoes would turn
into a spaceship or race cars,

and you'd run off in your socks playing
this incredibly creative game.

Yeah. Those rabbits were kinda hilarious.

You are kinda hilarious.

- And inventive. And smart.
- Well...

And your daughter
is gonna be the same way.

[sighs]

I meant to say,
the sharpest tool in the shed.

I liked the way you said it
the first time.

- I'm gonna go check on the kids.
- Okay.

[in operatic voice]
♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪

[Reba] It wasn't a ghost.
It was a blown fuse.

Hey, by the way,
you got rats in your garage.

What are you doing?

You're not taking this seriously,
so the cleansing is off.

I'll just stay somewhere else
until Brock gets back.

- Where, my house?
- You're not my only friend.

I'll stay at... a motel.

Barbra Jean, I was just kiddin' around.

Well, I'm not laughin'.
And the ghost isn't laughin'.

And if he were laughin',
it would sound like... [laughs demonically]

And that's not funny.

You can't be afraid of ghosts.

You're brave. I've seen you eat
a Raisinet off the sidewalk.

It was a Junior Mint, and I caught it
before it hit the ground.

Besides, what do you know about fear,
Miss I'm-Not-Afraid-Of-Anything?

Why does everybody say that
I'm not afraid of anything?

Because you're not.

You're not afraid of the dark or thunder,

or wearin' pink with red hair,
which is not wise, but you do it.

You're fearless, Reba.

It's not that I'm fearless.
It's just that... [sighs]

...I think believin' in ghosts is silly.

Well, you wouldn't think it was so silly
if the ghost was after you.

What are you talking about?

If I tell you,
you're gonna make fun of me.

Barbra Jean, I'm already
making fun of you.

All right.

If you must know,

the ghost is after me
because I'm a bad person.

What?

I stole your husband,

I broke up your family, and now I have
a way better house than you do.

So, the reason you're afraid
of ghosts is because

you think they're gonna
punish you for what you did?

- Yes.
- [laughing] Oh, Barbra Jean.

If anybody's gonna punish you, it's me.

And I promise you, when I die,
I will haunt you.

Every noise you hear, every time you trip,

every bad hair day...
[in deep voice] ...it'll be me.

Oh, Reba, don't try
to make me feel better.

It just makes it worse.

Because this horrible thing
that I've done, that I can't undo...

I did to my very best friend.

[crying]

Barbra Jean...

we're not best friends.

Barbra Jean, things happen for a reason.

Like, maybe you're in my life because...

Reba?

I needed someone
to ruin everything for me.

[sighs] Well, yeah.

- I can see how that was helpful.
- No, no, no.

You know what? Maybe it was.

I've lived through my biggest fears.

My husband left, Kyra moved out,

and things seemed
to be just fallin' apart.

Nothing gets scarier than that.

But because of you, I know
that I can deal with anything now.

Wow.

I wish I had the kind of courage
brought on by deep, personal tragedy.

Well, you married Brock. That's a start.

So, can we call off
this whole house cleansing bit?

Okay.

Hey, Reba.

Do you wanna ask the Ouija board
if Brock's being a good boy in Vegas?

Oh, Barbra Jean, you don't think
that thing really works, do you?

[both squealing]

[closing theme music playing]