Original subtitles

[Reba] Now, previously on Reba.

We put a down payment on a house.

[gasps] You did it?

You're buyin' a house in San Antonio?

Well, not exactly.

- Where is it then? - [door opens]

- [panting] - [device beeps]

26 seconds, door to door!

[drumbeats playing]

Okay, Mom. Don't overreact.

[exhales]

[sighs] But Kyra is, um--

She's thinkin' about moving in with Dad and Barbra Jean.

What?

Yeah.

Oh, come on, Mrs. H. This is not like you.

What's not like me?

Well, you know, bein' all soft and mushy.

I mean, usually you're all, "Grr! You don't scare me! I'm Reba!"

[chuckles]

[sniffles]

- Would you pray with me? - Pray?

- You mean to God? - Yeah.

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[soft instrumental music playing]

Could I ask just this one little, bitty favor?

Lord, please don't let me lose my daughter. [quivering]

No, I've made my decision already.

Okay.

[sighs]

[whispers] No, just a second.

[exhales]

Tell me.

Van, quit breathin' in my ear. It tickles.

- [whispering] Really? - Hmm!

[whispering] Does this tickle?

- Luke, I am your father!" - Quit.

[grunting]

God, I wish they'd talk louder.

Yeah, I know. We're never gonna find out what's happening with Kyra.

Hey, what if I go downstairs and pretend to get a sandwich,

but really I'd be eavesdropping on 'em?

No.

Are you sure? 'Cause I'd really like a sandwich.

How could you be thinking about food at a time like this?

I don't know! Maybe I have a tapeworm.

Great. Now they're not even talking.

Do you think they heard us?

Pretty sure your mom did.

No way. She's totally losing her hearing.

And her memory, too.

Last week, she lost her keys three times.

I mean, she--

Hey, Mom.

Are you guys spyin' on us?

Cheyenne was. I have a tapeworm.

Why do all of my kids think

they can do whatever they want, whenever they want...

as long as it makes them happy?

Well, guess what...

[quivering] ...your happiness is not the only thing that matters!

Oh! [whimpers]

Van, she is really upset.

[door opens]

- [door slams shut] - I can't believe Kyra.

I'll say. I wonder who she picked.

[Reba singing] ♪ Ha, hey! ♪

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

[upbeat music playing]

Morning, Mom.

Hey, look, honey. Sorry I snapped at you last night.

Hey, you have every right to be upset.

I mean, what Kyra is doing is a huge slap in the face.

It's like she's saying she'd rather live with Dad than you.

That is what she's sayin'.

And it is a huge slap in the face.

- Good morning. - Good morning, honey.

[Cheyenne] Hmph!

So you're still talking to me?

Sure! We're still talking to her. Right, Cheyenne?

[Cheyenne] Hmph!

Well, good, because I was kind of afraid you'd be upset.

Ha! Why should I be upset?

You're the one that's gonna have to live with Barbra Jean!

So, I think the first thing we should do is talk to your dad,

so we can get you moved in over there before school starts.

You're being really rational about this.

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

Hey, once a decision has been made, I'm on board.

I'm rowin' the boat.

I'm rowin', rational Reba.

[Reba laughing]

Okay. I'll call him.

Good. Perfect.

- Bye, Cheyenne. - [Cheyenne] Hmph!

You look really nice today.

[Cheyenne] Hmph.

"Rowing, rational Reba"?

I ran out of stuff to say. This is killing me!

Then make her stay.

You can't make Kyra do anything.

I learned that during 56 hours of labor.

Plus, this is not the first time she tried to leave.

Kyra, honey,

it's gonna take a lot longer to move in if you keep repackin' all the boxes.

I'm gonna go back to our old house. I hate this one.

Oh, but, sweetheart,

a new family's already moved into our old house,

and they already have a cute little girl.

Not as cute as me.

Well, I can't talk to you. Reba!

Reba, we need you.

Oh, Brock, for the tenth time-- yes, I remembered the beer.

Kyra hates the new house.

What's wrong with it, honey?

It's too big!

Why do you think we bought it?

I say we just ground her until she gets happy.

Brock, this is Kyra. [in lower tone] She may never get happy.

- You're sure you wanna move out, honey? - Yes.

Well, good for you!

You know, it's about time you struck out on your own.

You're really gonna let me leave?

Sure!

Why not get a jump start on earning a living?

Have you thought about a career?

Maybe you can get a job singin' that alphabet song.

Why don't you think about it while you go pack?

I will.

I know you will. Go to it, girl!

You know, I love that little girl,

but part of me hopes she comes down with a suitcase packed.

So that's your plan? Tell her she can leave and hope she doesn't?

Well, if that fails, I can always go to my backup.

If I can't depend on Kyra's love for me,

I can always depend on your father's fear of me.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, Mom. What are you doing?

Oh, uh-- [chuckles]

Since you're movin' out, I'm just, uh, totaling up your bill.

Let's see. You've been here 13 years. You owe me $90,000.

Will you take a check?

[laughing]

No, I was jottin' down some things we need to talk to your dad about,

like how much of your stuff you want to move over there.

- You're being really cool. - Ah, because I am really cool.

You know, lots of kids don't get to live with a mom that's so cool.

Some kids just have to live with weirdos.

Mom, I-- I know this is hard.

Oh, it's fine. Your happiness is the most important thing.

If you're happy, I'm happy.

Well, I'm happy. Great.

I'm gonna change the name on the mailbox. We're "The Happys."

[pretend laughing]

[knocking on door]

Hey, Reba. I got your message.

- This is about Kyra, right? - Yes. She's made her decision.

- I'm not gonna hurt you. - Not if I keep my guard up, you're not.

So, did she pick me?

Don't say it like that. It's not a contest!

But, yes, you won.

[exhales in relief]

I don't know what to say.

I do. Tell her she can't move in with you.

I can't do that.

I'm not gonna reject my own daughter. There's no way.

Sure there is. I made you a list of reasons.

What?

You can say, "I can't afford it right now."

Or, "Think how it will make your brother and sister feel."

Or my favorite, "Barbra Jean drinks."

Get it straight, Reba. I'm the one who drinks.

And this sort of thing is the reason why.

Look, Brock, I know you have a hard time sayin' no to your children...

And other women...

And a second helpin' of cake.

[chuckles]

You know, I've said "no" to lots of other women.

Heck, some of 'em even came out of a big cake.

[mock laughing]

Kyra can't move in with you.

Look, we're havin' some issues right now,

and we need some time to deal with them. Please.

Now, when she comes in here,

let me do all the talkin', and you just nod.

- Yeah, but I don't-- - Zz-zz-zz!

Lips don't move when you're noddin'.

Zz!

Kyra? Honey, can you come out here for just a second?

- Your dad's here. - Hey, Dad.

[Reba] Your dad says hi.

Listen, I told him about your big decision,

which I support 100%.

You know how cool I am. [chuckles]

Your dad, well, he's not that cool.

He did bring up some good points, and I think we need to hear him out.

Kyra--

What your dad means is...

your moving in with him

is gonna make it really hard on your siblings.

And he doesn't think right now that he can afford this move

mainly because Barbra Jean drinks. [chuckles]

Dad, is my moving in a problem for you?

He thinks it might be, honey, yes.

- Dad? - [Reba] Yes.

I meant the other dad.

- The man. - Oh.

Kyra, honey,

it's no problem at all.

In fact, we'd be honored if you'd move in with us.

Great!

- [Brock chuckles] - Thanks a lot, Dad.

- Are we all good, Mom? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Just goes to show that any problem can be worked out.

[pretend laughing]

- [Brock exhales in relief] - Except the one between you and me.

Ow!

Well, I couldn't say no.

Now, you turn that big, old golf-tanned head towards me

and open up your ear.

You are banned from my life. Banned forever!

Say good-bye to Big Red!

For what?

For supporting my daughter?

She doesn't need your support. She's trying to get away from me.

Really? I find that hard to believe with your sunny disposition.

We'll talk about this later.

There is no later. We're done.

Oh, and one more thing.

If you weren't dead to me, I would say, "This is not over."

That girl is not moving out.

Why are you still standing there?

- I don't talk to dead people. Go on! Git! - Reba, look--

- Git! - [Brock] You gotta--

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

Did my dad leave?

I don't know. I can't hear.

[sighs] I just hope she does not lose her temper.

I mean, I swear, the older she gets, the shorter her fuse.

It's just it's--

Hey, Mom.

[chuckling nervously]

Would it help you to spy if I talk louder?

And slower.

Look, Mom, we're only listening because we're concerned about you.

Is there anything that we can do?

Well, funny you should ask.

You know how I always try not to put you between your father and me?

- Yeah. - Well, I need to put you

between your father and me.

I'm not talking to him anymore,

so if anything comes up about you kids,

I need you to be the go-between.

Look, Mom, before you blame Dad for all this--

Honey, honey, honey.

What goes on between your father and me is none of your business.

[exhales] Oh, except when you do that go-between thing.

Great. Now Kyra's wrecked Mom and Dad's divorce.

You guys want to see a human skull?

Jake, the adults are trying to talk.

But later I'd love to.

Van, we should tell him.

Okay, you're right. But you tell him.

No! No way! Why do I have to tell him?

'Cause I called it.

All right. I'll tell him.

Jake. Come here. Let's talk.

It might not be a human skull. It's only this big.

Forget the skull, okay?

Look, I-- I know that Mom probably wants to tell you this,

but I don't want you upsetting her more than she already is.

But, Jake,

Kyra's moving in with Dad.

- Okay! - Well?

Oh, Jakey!

You don't have to pretend it doesn't upset you.

- Okay! - [Cheyenne] No, hold it!

Hang on.

Look, she's gonna be right up the street,

and you can play with her anytime that you want.

Why would I play with her? She's a girl.

That is true. [chuckles]

Well, I mean, she's your sister,

and you want her to know you're not upset with her.

I'm not.

Well, you could be.

Uh-uh.

It's possible.

Nah.

Don't say "nah" like you don't care.

I don't.

[yelling] Well, you should, you little robot!

We're supposed to be making him feel better.

But he's gotta feel bad first, the little freak!

I'm out of here.

Yeah, yeah. Don't come back until you find yourself a heart, Tin Man!

Would you calm down? It doesn't even matter.

Of course it matters!

His sister is breaking his mother's heart.

All right. Listen to me. She is not gonna leave.

Wait a minute. You know something that I don't?

Oh, yeah.

- What is it, Van? You've got to tell me. - Okay, okay.

Look, everything is gonna be okay...

because your Mom and I, we prayed.

Did you pray that I wouldn't slap you?

Why would we pray that?

Don't give me hope and just take it away like that!

What are you talking about? It's a sure thing!

What makes you think praying for something makes it a sure thing?

Because I have only prayed for one thing before,

and it came through big-time.

- Oh, yeah? What'd you pray for? - I prayed for you.

Oh, Van.

Oh!

I gotta go see that skull!

[screaming] Jake!

[upbeat music playing]

Here, Mom.

Hey, Jake. What are those for?

I'm never leaving you, Mom, not even when I'm 40.

[laughing] Oh!

Honey, thank you.

When I die and get "ash-mated,"

I want my ashes put in a jar by your bed.

Then I'll be the first thing you see every morning.

[laughing]

That just went from sweet to creepy.

[knocking on door]

Hey, Reba.

[door shuts]

We need to talk about our situation.

[humming]

What are you doing?

Tryin' to make you disappear.

Fine. You got four sheets. Grab a corner and start yakkin'.

Reba, did you know the universe contains millions of planets?

And yet Earth is the one your ship landed on.

Millions of planets revolvin' around millions of suns...

revolvin' around millions of galaxies...

that all revolve around one point in the center of the universe.

And?

That point... is not you!

Folding's over.

You're being very self-centered, Reba.

And how self-centered would you be if your baby came over to live with me?

He went to you once. You had a cookie. Get over it.

And besides, Brock is not doing this to hurt you.

Oh! So, you think I'm being too hard on him

and I should forgive him.

Well, let's face it. You're going to eventually.

Everyone forgives Hunky Bear.

Ah.

[knocking on door]

[Brock chuckling] Oh, man.

It's that new girl you hired for the office.

She's a heapin' bushel of crazy.

Oh, Brock, give her a chance. I like her!

Hey, Mrs. Hart, Dr. Hart.

Call me Reba.

Well, Reba.

[giggles] I would've rung your doorbell,

but you don't have one, so--

Oh.

♪ Bing-bong Bing-bong, bing-bong ♪

♪ Bing-bong ♪

Well, here you go.

Happy housewarmin'.

It's 12 different kinds of barbecue sauces.

I figured you could get a lot of use out of those, Brock.

Call me Dr. Hart.

Dr. Hart. Sorry.

Um, well, anyway,

the salesman said that these would make a dead cat taste good.

Not to imply that you eat dead cats.

[whispering] Shut up, Barbra Jean. You're blowing it.

It's okay. It's okay, Barbra Jean.

You hate me, don't you? [chuckles sadly]

Dead cat. I'm so stupid!

Oh, hey, Mrs. Hart. I hear you eat dead cats! Oh!

[whimpering] Oh, man! Oh!

Barbra Jean, it's okay.

Oh, I can't lose another job.

The agency stops sending you out if you lose ten!

Barbra Jean, I hired you...

because I like you.

And no matter what you do or say, I will always like you.

Promise?

Cross my heart.

Then come here, you.

I'm gonna give you so much sugar, your teeth will hurt.

- [Reba gasping, coughing] Oh! - [Barbra Jean laughs, then sighs]

[grunting] Easy there, Gentle Ben. I'm breakable.

[Barbra Jean] Oh!

Are you okay with me, Dr. Hart?

Yeah, yeah. Sure. But my wife does all the hugging.

Oh, I do not! Jump in there!

[Barbra Jean] Okay.

[Barbra Jean grunts]

[Brock chuckles]

- [Brock gruntiung] - [Barbra Jean giggling]

I'm sorry. I'm... I'm very touchy-feely.

I think it's 'cause I felt like my parents never gave me enough love.

[laughing] Well, it's certainly not because you wouldn't open up.

So, uh, well, we've got a lot of unpackin' left to do...

and, uh, well, thanks for the dead cat sauce.

- Oh, right! - [Reba laughing]

And thank you for the hugs.

[Reba] You bet.

I have a feelin' we're gonna be great friends.

[singing] ♪ Bing-bong, bing-bong ♪

I don't know about this, Reba.

Are you really sure she's the right person to replace you down at the office?

She seems a little... ha! Extreme.

Yes. Yes, she's perfect.

She's big and silly

and makes a man want to come home to his wife.

Fine. Boy, I pity the poor guy that winds up marrying her.

Oh, man!

You know what? I did make a mistake.

Okay.

From now on, I don't want to see you either.

What?

You heard me! From now on, I want you both out of my life.

You're Mrs. Dead to me.

We were just comin' in. I mean, we didn't hear anything.

We sure didn't. But thanks for talkin' slower.

[indistinct audio from TV]

Okay, Kyra. Here's your collection of bowling balls.

Why is your stuff so heavy?

I have a lot of books, Van.

Oh, books. Right.

Ever heard of a thing called paperbacks?

Now, here's a book.

The old Bible.

The old, dependable Bible.

Filled with stories of people who prayed for stuff...

and got what they prayed for.

Excuse me for a minute, God.

I have to go to the car now with Kyra's suitcases.

[mimicking radio static] Over!

You know, it works better if you read it.

[exhales] Oh, well, I guess it's time to go.

Hmph!

She's been workin' on that speech for over a week.

Bye.

Well, except for good-bye, I guess there's nothing left to say.

Okay, Kyra! [laughing]

You win.

What?

You win, kiddo. You made your point.

Now, I am willing to negotiate. What's your number one demand?

You want a later curfew? You wanna listen to your music louder?

You wanna start calling me Reba? [laughing]

I don't have any demands.

That's not what this is about.

Then what am I doin' that's drivin' you nuts?

Or what am I not doin' that's drivin' you nuts?

Please tell me, because it's drivin' me nuts!

You belong here.

Where, Mom? Between Van and Cheyenne and their kid?

They're the family in this house now, and I'm not in that family.

Oh, Kyra, you're just saying that kind of stuff because you're upset.

I mean, what do you want me to do, kick 'em out? I can't do that.

I know you can't. But I can kick me out.

Hmm, Kyra, you and Cheyenne will always have your differences.

That's what sisters do.

Some sisters sing and dance together and make millions.

Others just argue.

Well, I'm done arguing.

Okay. All right. Hang on just a second.

This is serious.

You need to know that if you do this,

you can't just undo it anytime you want.

Choices have consequences.

If you move out, you don't move back in.

So, do you want to change your mind?

Oh, yeah.

[sniffling]

Good-bye, Mom.

[melancholy music playing]

[slow rock music playing]

Man, it's weird around here without Kyra.

I said something dumb this morning, and no one made fun of me.

[sighs] If I miss Kyra,

imagine how your mom must feel.

When Mom comes in, we are gonna have to cheer her up, okay?

We're gonna have to show her that this is still a happy home.

Hey, you know what we should have? Smiley-face pancakes.

Do you think your mom will make 'em?

[Cheyenne] Hey, Mom!

It's a beautiful day, don't you think?

I know you weren't asking me, Cheyenne, but I do think so.

Don't you agree, Mrs. H?

What do I look like to you?

Aw, geez. Cheyenne?

I mean, do I look like someone who's happy

because one of her kids moved out?

We're just trying to make you feel better.

Well, excuse me if I'm not all happy and don't want to celebrate.

- Neither should you two. - [door opens]

Mom, can I have Kyra's key?

Where's your key? I told you not to lose it.

I didn't lose it. I sold it.

Well, then get it back and give it to me.

What will you give me for it?

A slightly shorter lecture.

Can I have her key?

Nobody gets her key, Van, because she's coming back. Right, Mom?

No, she's not. It's a one-way move.

Then can I have her key? I mean, what if I lose my key?

Stop asking about the key!

I lost my key.

Oh!

I gotta get outta here.

Meet me in the garage later.

I can solve your key problem.

[door opens and then shuts]

Cheyenne, what are we gonna do?

We are gonna go over there, and we are gonna tell Kyra...

that she has got to get her butt back over here.

I don't know.

I mean, I already asked God to do it.

He's gonna think we have no confidence in him.

Well, did you ever think that maybe us going over there

is how God wants it done?

Oh, man! This religion thing is hard.

I mean, who knows?

Maybe we're the ones who are supposed to stop Kyra from leaving.

No! That's not what I asked for!

Well, what did you ask for?

Well, your mom prayed that Kyra would stay,

and I asked God to do it.

And then I closed with a joke.

A joke?

- Yeah. - What joke?

I told him he could throw in a Corvette if he wanted.

Van, you don't joke with God.

Heaven is not Vegas.

God has a great sense of humor. Look at ostriches.

Look, a Corvette.

A Corvette. [loudly] A Corvette!

It's a sign!

- What are you talking about? - My prayer got answered!

God put the Corvette in the cereal.

But, see, I had to pull it out! You see?

You have to make your own prayers come true.

God rewards effort!

So, are you saying that we should go over and get Kyra?

Cheyenne, try to keep up.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, honey. What ya looking at?

[clicks tongue] Do these freshly painted walls

make our furniture look shabby?

I know where this is goin', and I'm out of money.

But we really need new furniture.

Please, Brock?

Barbra Jean, you already bought some furniture, didn't you?

- No! - Oh, man!

Oh, hey, honey. How'd you sleep? Was everything okay?

I'm sorry I didn't have time to move my stuffed animal collection out.

Oh, that's all right. I threw them out on the front lawn.

Oh, you. Oh, God.

Hey!

So, how's your mom doin'? Is she taking everything okay?

Has she been hittin' the goof juice?

Actually...

that's what we came here to talk about.

No. No. No way. I'm not goin' over there to talk to her.

Not after the things she said to me.

We came to talk to Kyra.

Yeah. Okay. Fine. Good. No, that's good.

Hey, Van! Van! How 'bout I give you the grand tour?

- Two guys looking at a house? - Yeah.

I don't think so. [chuckles]

Okay. Barbra Jean.

What do you say you and I go get a piece of that Bundt cake you made?

Okay.

Hey, wouldn't it be crazy

if there were all new plates in the kitchen?

Don't tell me you need help with homework already. Just sound it out.

Okay, Kyra.

I promised Van that I would be nonjudgmental.

[clicks tongue] So, in the spirit of being fair,

I just want to say... you're evil!

And you're blonde, and Van's a doofus.

Did we really need a meeting?

Okay, okay. We got off on the wrong foot.

Cheyenne did not mean that the way it came out.

You are being a self-centered, heartless, selfish little brat.

[chuckles] Again, she slipped.

- Mom's gonna be fine. - No! No, she's not. This is killing her.

You're making her feel like a failure as a parent.

- And you're her success story? - What are you talking about?

[scoffs] "Hey, Mom, guess what. I'm 17, and you're gonna be a grandma!"

Hey, that's different. We didn't have a choice, and you do.

You didn't have a choice?

Since when is getting pregnant required in high school?

Hey, you don't know what's required in high school!

Well, did you do it?

Yeah. Van.

- Yeah? - This feels really wrong.

Wrong like "you're pregnant" wrong or wrong like--

What else is there? Are you pregnant?

I-- I don't know yet. It-- It takes a minute.

It's just this whole thing.

I mean, sneaking around my room, lying to our friends.

Lying to my mother.

We should've planned better. We are smarter than this, Van.

Oh, Cheyenne. No, we're not!

What?

Well, love isn't somethin' you plan. It just happens.

Like athlete's foot.

Love is like athlete's foot?

Well, yeah, kinda.

I mean, both have good consequences and bad consequences.

What good consequences does athlete's foot have?

Well, I'll tell you.

I wash my feet a lot more.

Look, I'm really scared right now, and you're just yapping about your feet.

Okay, honey, honey. Calm down. Okay?

We're both under a lot of stress right now.

You might be pregnant, and I might be the father.

You might be the father?

Ow!

- How could you say that? - I don't wanna be presumptuous.

- It's a little late for that, Van. - [Van] Okay, okay.

Look, I want you to know something.

That if we are pregnant,

this baby will have more love than he'll know what to do with.

So, you'd want to keep the baby?

Of course I do, sweetie. He'll be the best part of you and me.

Oh, Van.

You know, it could be a girl.

Come on. I'm a football player.

Everything I know about genetics, screams "dude."

So, should we go check?

Yeah.

- It's two lines! - Two lines?

- Yes! - Two lines! You're not pregnant.

No. No. No, wait, Van.

No, two lines means that I'm pregnant.

No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't!

I have my whole life ahead of me here!

I thought you said this would be wonderful.

Yeah, I was a kid then. Now I'm an expectant father!

And how come you're suddenly so calm?

I don't know. [sighs]

I guess it's because I know that I am...

and I know what I'm gonna do.

Now, hold on, Cheyenne.

You can't just make a decision.

I mean, this could ruin all our plans, all our dreams.

What about becoming a zookeeper?

I mean, I'm never gonna become a zookeeper, but what if I was?

You can't have wild animals with a baby!

I'm keeping her, Van.

[exhales]

- Wow. - Yeah.

Yeah, and I know that we're gonna have to deal with all of that hard stuff.

But it won't change my mind. I... I mean, I have to.

[both sighing]

Then I wanna be with you, 100% of the way.

- [knocking] - [Cheyenne] Mom!

[chuckling nervously]

This door is not supposed to be closed.

Uh, sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Mrs. H.

- I'm not kiddin'. - Okay, Mom.

You're embarrassing me.

I've got my eye on you two.

[scoffs]

- Your mom is so suspicious! - [Cheyenne scoffs]

Tell me about it. Thanks for trusting us.

So, what's your point, Kyra?

Yeah, we decided that we were gonna have Elizabeth and keep her.

And that you'd get married and move in with us,

making me the one nobody thought about.

Are you saying you moved out because of us?

That's right.

So before you start coming down on me for hurting Mom,

maybe you oughta think about how much of it is your fault.

- Come on, Van. Let's go. - Oh, now you're gonna cry?

No, I'm not gonna cry!

Come on! As if that's the worst thing I've ever said to you.

Although it is right up there with "Mrs. Forrest Gump."

Just leave me alone, okay?

I know I'm a horrible person! I get it. Thank you very much!

[quivering] Stop it, okay?

- I wasn't trying to hurt you. - Yes, you were!

Okay, I was, but I want you to stop crying.

Why are you both so crazy?

[all sobbing]

[sobbing]

Hey, why is everybody cryin'?

Oh, it's okay!

It's okay.

We're gettin' new furniture.

[crying]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

- Reba. - Get out.

- We need to have a family meeting. - We're not a family anymore.

Fine! Then it's a hootenanny without banjos.

I told you, I don't want to see you,

and I don't want to talk to you, dead man.

But we got trouble, Reba.

Look, this whole thing is gettin' out of control.

Cheyenne came over, and she and Kyra got into a big argument.

Cheyenne, you need to mind your own business.

But it is our business.

Because of Elizabeth and God and the Corvette in the cereal.

Right over my hair spray.

It's our fault, Mom. Kyra moved out because of us.

That's why you were mad at us this morning.

- No, it's not-- - [Cheyenne] No.

It's okay. I can handle it, Mom. You can tell me.

I'm a big girl.

I can handle it. [sobs]

- Look, honey. - [Cheyenne sobbing]

Someone very irritating once told me...

that there are millions of suns

circling around millions of galaxies

circling around just one point in the universe.

- And? - That point is not you.

That irritating person was me.

You thought of that? That's really good.

I'm sending it to Reader's Digest.

Look, guys. There's a lot of reasons why Kyra left.

No one person's to blame.

Wait a second. You've been blaming me.

'Cause it's all your fault.

You kill me.

You actually believe everything is my fault.

When this family split up,

you were the only one who had a choice in the matter.

What?

[exhales] Oh, nothing.

Could you please not get that all creased?

I haven't read that section yet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here. You read it first.

Could we go one morning without an argument?

I don't know, Brock.

Could we go one morning where you put the toaster under the counter?

- [scoffs] I forgot. - You didn't forget!

You did it deliberately because you know it bothers me.

I did not! I told you,

I hate having to take it out from under the counter,

then put it back again when I'm gonna use it the next day.

- How hard is it to put it away? - It's hot! I'll get burned!

- Well, somebody's got to put it away. - Why?

Because it doesn't belong here!

Yeah, well, you know what?

Your car doesn't belong on my side of the garage,

so that mine barely fits in there when I get home from work.

I'm tired of having to crawl out the passenger side!

Well, I can't park up against the wall. I'll get burned!

- [toaster thuds] - You know what?

Maybe you should have the whole garage to yourself,

and I should get an apartment

where no one cares where I leave the toaster.

Well, maybe you should.

Really?

Is that what you want?

All I know is, this isn't working anymore.

So, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about taking a break.

I think we could use a little time apart.

- Fine. Then go. - Reba, look--

No. Go! Let me tell you this, Brock.

If you walk through that door,

it may not be open when you wanna come back.

I'll start lookin' for another place.

- [Reba] Okay. - Yeah. Okay.

Mom, you're not gonna let him go, are you?

- Cheyenne! - No, Mom. Go after him!

Talk to him. Work this out.

You heard him. We need a break.

But you told him that he couldn't come back.

I didn't mean it literally.

I just meant, "You're bein' a jerk and I wanna hurt you." He knows that.

Are you sure?

He'll come back.

See? He came back.

He just brought his new wife.

And maybe Kyra will come back with a new mother.

And maybe Brock will come back to a new table.

Fine! I'll go talk to Kyra.

[slow drum beats playing]

Hey.

I just brought you a "welcome to the neighborhood" present.

Did you get that out of Mr. Parker's yard?

Well, yeah. There's not a store between my house and here.

Thanks. So, uh, how are you doing?

- Bad. - What?

I'm doing really bad, and I need to talk to you about it.

I don't think I want to have this conversation.

Oh, I know you don't.

That's because I let you off too easy before, Kyra.

I let you think that your happiness was the only important thing.

But I realized that your happiness is tied in to my happiness.

- Mom-- - No, no, no. Just hear me out.

Kyra,

there are millions of suns circling millions--

And that point is not me. I know, Mom.

I told that to Barbra Jean.

[scoffs]

I love you, Kyra.

And when someone you love rejects you,

your first instinct is to protect yourself by pretending it's no big deal.

But it is. There's no bigger deal.

Why are you telling me this, Mom?

Are you just trying to make me feel awful?

[sarcastically] Oh, yeah! That was my plan.

Come over here, steal a gnome,

tell you I love you just to make you feel awful.

What do you want from me?

[jingling]

Is this my key?

Yeah, you owe Jake five bucks.

It means my door's always open.

I thought you said I couldn't come back.

I didn't mean it.

So why did you say it?

Because sayin',

"Y'all come back now, ya hear?" would've sounded dumb.

Look, Kyra, when I finally realized that you were leavin', I lost it.

I'm not that good at being dumped. Ask your dad.

So, what are you saying?

That apparently, we've been fightin' about everything

except what we're really mad about.

And maybe if I'd known how you felt two years ago, we wouldn't be here.

So, we can keep fighting

just as long as we know what we're fighting about?

We can give it a try. I'm excited.

Okay.

Mom, you know I didn't do this to hurt you.

[softly] I know, sweetie.

So, I guess I oughta be goin'.

Bye, Mom.

Y'all come back now! [chuckling]

Ya hear?

[gentle music playing]

[theme music playing]

[voiceover] ACME! [coughing]