Original subtitles

(footsteps approach)

Hey, how you feeling?

Oh, I'm okay.

The morning sickness has receded.

I am having some really weird cravings though.

Don't give in to those-- that's the fetus

fighting for dominance.

Wait, what time is it?

11:17.

It's 11:17?

It's 11:17?!

Senator Thoroughgood,

this is a good bill

that will put more math and science teachers

into the classroom.

Did you know America's kids rank 32nd

in the world in algebra?

Algebra.

You know that word has Arabic roots.

SKIP: 11:17! It's 11:17!

Sorry. Coming through.

My bad. Hey.

I should've just gone in front of you.

I don't know why I did that. Hi, Momily!

Sorry, sir! It's 11:17.

Thank you for your service.

Oh. Hey, Stacey.

Didn't expect to bump into you here.

Hey. Hey. You come here often?

Yeah. I know... I know you do.

You come here every day.

I can feel your eyes burning through my soul, Patty.

(sighs)

You don't just jump in and ask someone out.

I'm laying groundwork.

I know it's frustrating for you.

The back and forth.

The will-they-or-won't-they.

All right, fine.

Stacey!

Uh, hey, um...

I just wanted to say...

that... before I die, I want to go to Asia.

Me, too.

Wow.

How long have you been waiting for that moment?

Mm.

WOMAN: We're joined by President Dale Gilchrist

and First Lady Emily Nash Gilchrist.

Mr. President, you're pressing for a vote

on a set of controversial

education reforms.

Your critics have said... DALE: Look,

there's nothing controversial

about this bill.

Just common sense steps.

More math and science teachers in the classroom and...

And more support for programs

that actually excite kids about learning.

WOMAN: Interesting.

Mrs. Gilchrist, where do you stand on sleeves?

I'm sorry, Savannah. What?

WOMAN: You're so stylish and your outfits are amazing.

People are talking about your outfits. It's a hot topic.

Well, okay. (chuckles)

First of all, thank you. Um,

but if we could just get back to education--

it really is a passion of mine.

But that's not your only passion. I understand

you studied classical dance.

In fact, I think we have

some video of you in a leotard.

Justin, can we roll that clip?

Oh, Justin, you don't have to do that.

Yes, I was a dancer.

Right before I became a lawyer

for 15 years. And today I am leading

our efforts to... You are rolling that clip, aren't you?

Yes, ma'am.

Wow. Look at those arms.

Any diet tips?

MARSHALL: And tomorrow night, the President and First Lady

will be holding a gala to honor Senator Frohm Thoroughgood

for his 50 years in the Senate.

Yes. How does the President feel

about honoring a man who claimed until 1978

that the Civil War ended in a draw?

President Gilchrist and Senator Thoroughgood

have not always seen eye to eye,

but the President has-has... great respect

for the Senator's long service to this country.

DALE: The man's

a monster. EMILY: He's been on the wrong side

of history for half a century.

In the sixties he tried to ban interracial dancing.

He was the inspiration for Hairspray.

I think you guys are being a little hard on him.

It says here he marched in Selma with Martin

Luther King. And I'm continuing to read,

and it's getting much worse.

There he is with a baton

and a group of men dressed as ghosts.

Look, in the Senate,

you don't get power for being right, you get it for being old.

It's not popular to say, but the Founding Fathers

really screwed the pooch on this one.

(groans) I'm really not looking forward to this ball.

It's just all these events

are so uncomfortable for me now

that the news broke. Look,

pretty soon your brother here is gonna do

something so strange and embarrassing

that the whole pregnancy thing will be quickly overshadowed.

I'm here for you, sis.

Besides, I think the ball is gonna be fun.

The dancing,

the formal wear.

It'll be just like Prom,

the movie about prom.

I've never been to a prom.

You should ask that cute mailroom girl to go with you.

I don't know. I don't want to ruin

what we have. BECCA: You mean you

staring at her every morning

as she walks by? Yeah.

You know what? Sometimes in life

you just have to go for what you want. What's your

favorite thing in the world? Pizza!

No, ninjas. No, pizza.

And fantasy football, which is when I imagine Dad and I

playing football together--

he's the quarterback,

I'm the only receiver he trusts...

Let's go with pizza-- if this girl

were the last piece of pizza on earth,

you'd go for her, right? It depends on when I had lunch.

At the very least, I would lick her

so that no one else would eat her.

Just ask her out, Skip.

Okay.

Good day, sir. Are you the mailroom supervisor here?

That's right.

I would like permission to ask

your employee, Stacey Kim, to be my date

to the formal White House ball tomorrow night.

I'm a good man and a hard worker, sir.

Okay.

I won't let you down.

Skip?

(quietly): Eat the pizza.

What are you doing here?

Can I talk to you for a second?

I have a quick question that could

alter the course of both of our lives.

Okay...

what's up?

Okay. Here goes.

Stacey Kim,

would you do me the honor of being my date--

keep going Skip--

to the gala tomorrow night?

Wow.

That sounds amazing.

But...

we're just going as friends, right?

Yes. Right now we are just friends.

Okay. I would love to go with you as friends.

Awesome. It's a date.

It's not a date. Not a date.

We'll put a pin in the romance.

No pin, Skip. No pin,

Skip. Too sharp.

Yeah. You get pricked.

I'm in! BECCA: Are you?

It really doesn't seem like it.

(sighs) Becca, Becca, Becca.

That sounds like a helicopter.

Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca... Skip, what's your point?

You know how some guys

are really good at picking up girls at bars?

Yeah, you know.

That's not me. Me?

I'm more of a ball guy--

the slimming black tuxedo, the witty repartee.

It all plays to my strengths.

Especially the dancing.

A lot of people have told me I'm like

a young Fred Astaire.

Do you know who that is? Is that a-a compliment?

I just... I don't want you to get hurt.

You know, sometimes your imagination

runs wild. Strangers become friends.

Friends become dates.

Dates...

become...

romantically exclusive.

We'll talk about this

magical night at our wedding.

Our wedding!

I'm s... I'm so sorry.

What-what was your concern?

Just be careful, Skip.

Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca,

Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca...

(sighs)

DALE: That's our priority,

and that means doing a better job stretching

our educational dollar. WOMAN: Speaking of

stretching, Mrs. Gilchrist, as a classically trained

dancer, can you still

touch your head to your knee? (groans)

I just don't like talking about the dancing thing.

It's objectifying.

Be honest, when you hear a woman is a classically trained dancer,

what do you think? Well, it's artistic. It's cultured.

It's sex with a pretzel lady.

We're simple creatures. (groans)

This isn't just about one interview.

What's bothering you?

Just... (sighs)

Remember back in Nevada,

when I was running your campaign for governor?

We were crisscrossing the state in that beat-up van.

Yeah, smelled like cats and the last owner died in it.

Those were good times.

I know, right?

See, back then, we were a team.

Now, I don't know, I...

feel like everyone thinks I'm just this shiny object Honey...

you lug around. Honey, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

And together we're gonna drag that education bill

over the finish line. (groans) It's never getting out of the Senate.

We just need one vote.

I say we take another run at Thoroughgood.

(scoffs) No way.

He's craven, un... principled

and therefore open

to making a deal. Exactly.

(Emily and Dale speaking indistinctly)

MARSHALL: Sir? Thoroughgood is here.

I told him I'd see if you all were ready.

And then he told me he was impressed

by how articulate I am.

(groans) Racist compliments.

Bittersweet. Let's do this.

DALE: Okay, Congress

recesses tomorrow, so they're going

into one of those late-night sessions.

That means the vote is probably gonna be tonight

after the ball. We are not

letting him leave until we reach

an agreement. We can't keep him here forever.

I'm just trying to psych us up. Oh,

that's good.

Mr. President.

Sorry, I'm late.

My aide drives like an Hawaiian.

Well, uh, we won't waste a lot of your time, Senator.

We want your vote

on my education bill.

I didn't realize we were bringing our wives

to the meeting.

(chuckles)

Excuse me? Senator,

we've had our differences, but you know

that boys and girls in your state are gonna benefit

from these investments in math and science.

Well, of course I do.

But my mind has been wracked with other matters. Now,

perhaps if you might address some of my

unrelated concerns-- in the highway bill,

for instance-- I might be able to see more lucidly

the merits of your education reforms.

Well, I'm glad to see you're open

to what Emily has put together here.

Emily, be a doll and fetch me a Sazerac.

Rye or bourbon, whatever's easy.

And if we're building a highway,

we might just well build an off-ramp to a new

army base. Uh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

You should be for this because it's the right thing to do.

Ooh, such strong opinions.

It is my proposal. Well, don't get

hysterical. Men are talking.

All right! You know what?

You may have power,

but you are

a sad, mean, awful man.

And long after you die,

your descendants will apologize

for the shameful legacy that you leave behind.

(inhales sharply)

So what do you say? We have a deal?

(lively big band music plays)

* I'm sitting on top

* Of the world

* I'm floating

* Like clouds in the sky

Excuse me, sir, do you know how to tie a bow tie?

* I'm sitting on top of the world *

Good evening, Mr. Mailroom Supervisor.

Is Stacey ready for the ball?

No idea.

STACEY: Is this okay?

I didn't know if I should wear...

Stacey, shut your beautiful, magical mouth.

You look so elegant,

like Queen Amidala but when she's dressed as Padmé--

Not too showy but still super hot

and ready to take on the Trade Federation.

Thank you.

Believe it or not, that's the look I was going for.

Sir, I assure you,

my intentions are strictly honorable.

I really don't care.

Is that a corsage?

No, they're flowers.

DALE: Look, Senator,

about earlier, uh... Yes, I'm deeply sorry

if my words caused you any...

Your words caused me great injury.

But I can tell you this--

it's gonna be very difficult for me to find the strength

to support your bill while I'm still nursing

these dagger wounds.

Difficult.

But not impossible?

THOROUGHGOOD: What you said hurt me,

but I know that there are others who share your misconceptions.

Now, you tell them I am not the monster they think I am.

Make a toast to me.

Say some flowery words

written by your best Jew.

(quietly): We're back in the game.

I am not telling a bunch of lies

to make that man look good. We're not gonna lie;

we'll just avoid saying the bad parts.

It'll be a short speech.

Hi!

Ah, you must be Stacey. Emperor Thoroughgood, how are you?

Well, who is this

spicy little dumpling?

After a romp with her,

are you horny half an hour later?

Excuse me?

It's okay, Skip.

No, it most certainly

is not okay.

You show some respect,

you old racist bastard!

(room quiets suddenly)

(laughing)

Well...

this boy's got gumption.

(laughter)

(laughter dies)

(chuckles) Oh, Lordy.

Well... look who I

get to sit next to!

Hi. I'm Bunny Thoroughgood.

Wife of the senator.

Hi. I knew several

unwed mothers back in Pacawsha County whose lives

turned out to be worthwhile.

Thank you. And there were two bastards

in the gifted class with our grandson Percy.

And they mixed right in with the non-bastards?

So progressive!

All right, maybe we should find

some pictures and make it a multimedia thing.

Good idea.

Ooh, look, there he is pointing...

EMILY: A fire hose at civil rights protesters.

Should we call in a speechwriter?

The vote's in half an hour.

We got to do this ourselves, like in the old days.

In the old days, I had to write speeches in a bra

'cause there was no air-conditioning in that van.

I can tell you this now.

There was air-conditioning.

That was really sweet of you sticking up for me

back there with Senator Thoroughgood.

Hey, I'm not afraid to speak my mind.

The key is to not consider the consequences.

(laughing)

You're funny.

(strained chuckle): I feel funny.

BUNNY: Single dads--

that's where you should be looking.

They're damaged, too.

Excuse me, ma'am, I was wondering

if I might borrow Becca for a minute?

Really? We were having such a nice time.

Yes, well, I need Becca

to do an interview

on the importance of abstinence.

At this hour? Uh, yes, yes!

It is night, and every minute that we wait,

we are just losing teens to hormones and parked cars...

It's the culture, with Facebook,

alcohol with caffeine in it... I am so sorry.

BUNNY: Go, tell your cautionary tale.

Thank you, thank you.

Uh, hello?

Excuse me? Hello? Testing.

Is this thing on?!

Hey. Uh, my name is Skip Gilchrist.

I'm that man's son,

son of the Free World,

and I would like to say a few words,

a few words about two

very special women.

The first happens to be to my right.

This beautiful dolphin in turquoise. You gave me the courage

to make this night a reality. If it weren't for you,

I wouldn't be standing up here right now. Oh, no.

I don't want to... take any credit

for whatever's about to happen.

Guys, a little, uh, Chris de Burgh, please?

"Lady in Red"?

No? You don't know that?

That's very surprising.

Okay.

Just something mid-tempo romantic, then?

There you go.

Stacey-- would everybody please

divert their eyes and stare at that beautiful Asian in red

right over there.

I believe there's only one Asian in the room,

so it won't be difficult.

Stacey...

we began this night... as friends,

but we are not robots.

None of us are robots.

At least to my knowledge, none of us are.

We feel,

we change and we grow.

Can I get a spotlight, please?

No?

No spotlight? Never mind.

No worries.

Stacey Kim...

in front of all

of these good people, will you be my girlfriend?

Oh, God.

I don't feel comfortable answering that in this forum.

If I asked you in private, would you be my girlfriend?

(quietly): Make him stop.

I can't do this. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Stacey Kim, everybody.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie-- that was very embarrassing.

Son of a bitch.

Spotlight guy's back from break.

Everyone is...

just staring at me right now,

and I'm continuing talking...

to you.

* Somebody

* Stop me

* Please... Skip!

Well, what can you say about Senator Frohm Thoroughgood?

What can you say?

Well, he's a man...

who never stopped fighting

for the causes that matter to him.

(applause) And there he is.

Frohm.

Mm, mm. How many more pieces

of cake before this becomes embarrassing?

Two ago.

Mm.

You know... this is actually the first time

that we've hung out since we broke up.

Since you broke up with me.

Right. Well, you clearly moved on.

Yeah, this was all totally part of my plan, Marshall.

Sorry. Sorry.

Look, I just...

I don't want things to be weird between us.

We had a secret relationship.

You're not pregnant with somebody else's baby.

I have to see you every day.

I work for your father. Who is the most powerful man in the world.

(whispers): What's weird about that?

You name it,

he was there-- women's rights, immigration,

poverty,

he's been right there, fighting the battle.

Hard. Fighting hard.

(light applause)

My God, I can feel my soul burning.

Remember the kids. Homestretch.

So let's raise a glass

to a senator who has really

left his mark-- the one and only...

Frohm Thoroughgod. We love you, Frohmy.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

(laughs)

THOROUGHGOOD: Well, that was one heck of a speech,

young lady-- were those kind words from the heart?

I said 'em, didn't I? You've managed to change my perspective.

I just might back your legislation.

Are you serious? (cackles)

Women! Women are so gullible.

It's a consequence of your skull size.

We had a deal!

Just stick to dancing, toots.

MARSHALL: Sir...

the leadership just called a vote.

All the senators are

heading over now. Oh, can't believe

that we're going down this way.

(groans)

We're down by one vote, right? Yeah.

EMILY: Well, maybe if we can't get him

to vote yes, we can prevent him from voting no.

What are you saying?

Maybe I should listen to Thoroughgood.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have your attention, please?

I know we're wrapping things up here, but I actually

have a special treat in honor of Senator Thoroughgood.

(whispers): Give me a tango.

Word on the street is, you're a pretty good dancer.

I'm surprisingly light on my feet-- what's it to you?

(tango playing)

(gasps, excited chatter, clapping)

*

(music pauses)

*

(applause)

I've got a vote to get to.

Dip me. Prepare to be dipped.

(excited shouts)

Excuse me, madam.

I feel so safe in your arms.

THOROUGHGOOD: I got a vote to get to.

*

Make way.

(whooping, shouting)

(quietly): Nice work, Pretzel Lady.

That's First Pretzel Lady to you.

*

(excited shouts, cheers)

Spin me. Prepare to be spinned.

I'm due at the Capitol.

(applause, cheers continue)

Make way,

you're blocking my egress.

Are you even American?

I am encircled.

So they're basically keeping an elderly wheelchair-bound man

from getting to work? Mm-hmm.

Believe it or not, this is how a lot of bills get passed.

*

Saved you a piece of cake, sweetie.

Oh, is it good?

MARSHALL: Sir, ma'am, good news.

The bill passed by just one vote.

Oh...

God, I'd love to see the look on Thoroughgood's face

when he finds out.

Should we wake him?

(low moaning)

Nah. Let him sleep.

NEWSWOMAN: We're joined by First Lady

Emily Nash-Gilchrist.

Mrs. Gilchrist, where do you stand

on increased funding for the Pell Grant,

vis-a-vis the education budget

for the coming fiscal year?

That... is a great question.