Original subtitles

once upon a time when things were rotten

not just food but also Kings but

everybody take the peasants

[Music]

boy oh boy it was business Goods

expenses

[Music]

so when other Legends are forgotten

we'll remember back from things

[Music]

next day

so when other Legends are forgotten

we'll remember backwards please

according to a little-known clause in

the English Constitution a British king

must set foot on English soil at least

once every 24 months or forfeit his

crown like most laws of great Nations

this one was conceived with forethought

nurtured by free men and written by a

nincompoop

page I must leave the Crusades and go to

England immediately my 24 months are

almost up and I want to keep my crown

yes your majesty I'll arrange for a

weekend pass and no one must know if my

plans unless the information fall into

the hands of my enemies at home whomever

they may be

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

please

yeah

[Music]

seems all right give her anything she

wants

the drinks for my men three tankards of

mail and for me skim milk I'll have a

Harvey Wallbanger make it a double

anybody order a Black Russian

must be at the next table

for all you've done for us ah thank you

I love you know I'm nervous I hope the

sheriff don't show up you're not I sent

the word out all over town that we're

closed tonight for a bar mitzvah

hey forget about the sheriff Ronaldo

besides how many times do we have a

chance to come out and enjoy ourselves

in a town like this huh yeah say what

happened to the music Alice here's a

sovereign get us a little music will you

sure how about something all right

thank you

what's the matter with this jukebox I

just put a coin in there's no music

we'll find out

no wonder Cuke is asleep

wake up this man wants music

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

what have we got against the bomb it's

the boy in there

in their bedroom

what if I were to tell you that Robin

and his parents were in The Tavern what

if I wouldn't

take him to visit

I know they're in there

thanks to my spot

[Applause]

how I can tell

one of Robin's many men is on my payroll

one of the men

[Music]

never mind who

I said to say that we address him as

90046 now go check your cards despite

will be here any moment to collect his

pay

then

[Music]

um

[Applause]

what's Luciana I have no idea gentlemen

if you will excuse me I'm going to spend

some time with the man upstairs fryer

you're not going to pray now are you no

no no no but they're having a hot bingo

game on the second floor

good luck

now that the friar is gone would you

like me to bring on the Bunnies by all

means in keeper

hey you

the bunnies

no no you idiot not those bunnies this

is ridiculous oh I don't know the one in

the corner is kind of cute

is that q9046

you have delivered a robin in this man

as you promised him here's your pay

is when we attack to avoid injury

footsteps someone coming be back inside

before you missed

yeah

down below four six I have some

delicious

sick might be interested in interested

he also sucks his thumb

with little baby

's underwear

say that information's worth that is not

just your life a plugged nickel

uh old man trouble headed my way

[Music]

thank you

thank you

nice going crazy legs thank you Ellen

you know I was just thinking can you

imagine the look on the sheriff's face

that he saw us all here tonight for sure

he'd have an evil smile a drooling lips

and a murderous Twitch in his eye Alan I

I think that's a little bit extreme no

check it out for yourself guy

the sheriff sorry Robin but we're

crashing your party oh that's all right

Innkeeper table for two ringside

make that a table for 50 50. that'll be

a half hour wait cards

[Music]

in this time of desperation give me a

sword

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

s

[Music]

all right

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

where's the secret exit all right Robin

over there I haven't installed yesterday

hello my name is platoon and I've got a

secret

[Music]

storage

you are done for Robin that's what you

think Sheriff quick look behind you

foreign

[Music]

at every exit and entrance the back door

the delivery entrance the the windows

the cellars the hidden bookcase the

trapdoor and the secret exit well where

could they have gone there they just

could have walked out the front door

[Music]

[Applause]

all right what went wrong how did the

sheriff know we'd be at the tavern I'll

tell you how the same way he knew we'd

be in a Royal Vault on Monday and

waiting to waylay the Royal tax coach on

Tuesday and

when we went to the market on Friday to

buy meat why were he and his men waiting

there for us disguised as suckling pigs

Little John is right it was all luck

pure luck piss Posh I say there's a spy

Among Us a spy a spy a spy

this push I know it's strong language

Friar but I got carried away little John

your fears are groundless we're all

loyal comrades and arms here I don't

know Robo the sheriff's had our number

for months and there's only two

explanations for it either there's a spy

or

someone is a tattletale

Alan who among us could be a spy I don't

know

could be anybody

sure sure man when in doubt Blame It On

The Immigrant why me how about Island of

Friar are you me if it was me why would

I bring it up in the first place to

throw us off God because we would not

expect you to bring it up that's crazy

if I were guilty I would know you would

expect me to bring it up so I wouldn't

have brought it up and furthermore what

about you

look

it could be any of us

except me or me or me or me men look you

have to stop these accusations if we

continue this way who knows where we'll

end

next thing you know you you'd be

accusing me of being a spy

that's a hot one

just a darn minute there I'm not a spy

so you admit it could be a spy I didn't

say that that's just what does my would

say yeah

there is no spy here

in this time of dissension lead us to

the path of Brotherhood fill us with

faith in our comrades and help us find

out the dirty Frank who's been squealing

on us I say Amen to them

what do you mean you don't know when

Richard's going to get here

don't toast your brains my leash it's

got to be soon he only has five days

left to set foot on English soil and

then I get to begin and you shall have

to call me Your Majesty

and do you know what I will call you

what

collect

share it share it you have a very

important visitor outside who is it

it's very confidential look may I speak

in front of the prince

but of course you may about him

it's 90046 ah good my spy from the

merryman fetchum in bedroom

Bert you have a spy the merry men yes

a little surprise for you my liege

but I suggest we cease all conversation

of King Richard while he is here

there he is now

it must be truly out there 90046 come in

from the cold

foreign

hiya boss

[Music]

I am so proud proudest punch imagine my

brother Ronaldo the spy oh man not so

loud even the walls have ears around

here

so 90046

The Many Men suspect a spy in their

myths yeah

so let's add another trap but don't let

him slip away like they did last night

it will have to wait we have more urgent

things to attend to

hey what is this we had a deal

I deliver Robin in the men and you make

me king of the forest I thought the lion

was King of the Forest no the lion is

king of the jungle no Tarzan is king of

the jungle what difference does it make

I'm at the bottom of the Barrel in

Sherwood Forest and I want to be on top

and I am so tired of being pushed around

by all those guys oh you'd be much

better off being pushed around by the

sheriff

calm down I give you my word that in

four days hence in show and Forest you

will be the big enchilada

okay let's check on it

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

ERS come on you think I'm the Spy

okay well now you know it's me I I'm

glad I did it glad do you hear me glad

you can kill me Robin but you can't kill

all of us when I pull others will pick

up the torch you can snuff out my breath

but you cannot extinguish the Flames of

freedom

[Music]

not bad right

it's not bad at all hey I thought it was

pretty good myself

how long do I have to pretend I'm a spy

huh until you find out when and where

King Richard's coming back I don't think

they know yet

you were right they're gonna kill him

when he comes do they know that King

Richard's arrival must be witness to be

valid they know it's got to be witnessed

that's why they're going there disguised

as notary publics very clever those who

know them I want you to get back to the

castle and find out everything you can

I'll try but the sheriff don't stress me

that much but he does trust your brother

Bertram

hey Robin why can't I tell the guys what

I'm doing I I hate going behind their

backs like this no one must know about

us we can't say anything until King

Richard lands safely and is on his way

back to the Crusades right

you know Robin I've been thinking how

come Prince John isn't at the Crusades

with King Richard and the other

Christians slaughtering the infidels and

burning their Villages huh

well Ronaldo I guess he's just not a

very religious man

aha

I caught you prior this is the Spy come

on guy what's your proof don't deny it I

saw you swallowing a piece of paper I

bet it had a secret message written on

it everybody knows only two people eat

paper spies and the crazed night of the

forest sir Yule of Gibbons

I wasn't eating paper it was a piece of

candy a likely story a friar I don't

trust them but I trust you even less

it's Marion

come to think of it it could be Marion

no it's Marion she just wrote in oh

he went to visit his grandmother yeah he

got up this morning had a pop and toasty

and left he must find him it's about

Ronaldo is he hurt he may be by now I

just saw him at the castle the castle

yes he was with the sheriff in Bertram

what was Ronaldo doing at the castle he

said he was going to night school but

it's daytime

I knew there was something fishy about

that excuse maybe he's in danger not at

the castle he isn't here he is Ronaldo's

the Spy

thank you

hey birdie I've been looking all over

for you oh did you try my room

ready we're in your room

oh well then you found me yeah right

well anyway I brought us some wine hey

to celebrate us working on the same side

you know the two brothers back together

again like the The Mills Brothers the

the Step Brothers the choice Brothers

to us

yes to us

have a nice sleep birdie you'll be up

for a couple of hours

meantime I have to borrow some of your

clothes

[Music]

well Hubert what's the word when is

Richard arriving I am expecting a

carrier pigeon from the Crusades at any

moment

maybe that's it now

yeah man yes it is

ah come in come in

dear occupants done junk mail anything

else yes I'm a lot

this is the one thank you you have done

your job now leave

bathroom

the information we've been waiting for

King Richard will arrive at

Hill 800.

that's three days

at Last Richard within our grass

this calls for a toast

see

death to King or Richard yeah

[Music]

death to Robin Hood

death to Ronaldo

[Music]

Good Friday good work Ronaldo that gives

me two days to get to France and

intercept Richard and warn him before he

gets back to England but that's not much

time oh I can do it however we'll

require eight hours of hard riding and

42 hours of rigorous swimming but look

man thanks I can use it now when you get

back to Camp not a word to anybody until

we are absolutely sure that King Richard

is safe and on his way back to the

Crusades okay

foreign

[Music]

hey how you doing buddy oh could be

better could be worse

how was your day Ronaldo oh man I hear

you've been going to night school hey

how do you know we've missed you around

camp

yeah well I was busy you know

I'm Bush too hey

I tell you what I'm gonna do though I'm

gonna get me a hot bed right

some ciao

then I'm gonna give me a little sack

time

but uh but first uh a little jogging yes

jogging yeah

you know keeps you in shape joking keeps

doing

tell that to your maker

my maker

man I'm innocent

[Music]

look I'm innocent I'm no spy oh come on

why should I ride on my buddies guys

I've been fighting with for years why

give me one good reason money power Envy

show off I only asked for one Alan

you're gonna let them hang me Alan we

fought together we rode together man we

drank together Alan we did everything

together

look at it this way guy it's time to

start doing things by yourself

[Music]

help me do something Ronaldo I I I I

don't understand I'm a man of the cloth

I don't understand hanging

now if they were to boil you in oil boil

me an oil [ __ ] I understand

say your prayers Ronaldo hey man I don't

want no blindfold it's not for you it's

for me I hate to watch hangings Breyer

put the Noose around his neck me oh I

don't want to do the let down Alan do it

oh not not me but Marion you do it what

what oh no well somebody's got to do it

I would only uh I can't find it

don't look at me Jack

I'm innocent you think I'm guilty then

prove it I demand a trial a trial every

man is innocent until proven guilty says

who

Betty Mason

Ronaldo and you're right regardless of

how we may feel Justice must be served

now Ronaldo is entitled to a fair trial

by a jury of his peers

thank you Marion

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

your honor may I have a word with my

client

yes thank you

look Alan if you want to be my lawyer

you got to tell me what my chances are

well Ronaldo jurors prudentially

speaking

I wish you were in this much trouble why

because now you're in this much trouble

Ronaldo I'm doing the best I can but you

got to tell me what happened you got to

give me something to work with all I can

say is I was a double agent working for

Robin on a secret mission what secret

mission what for I can't say that all

right I'll give you something you can

say I'm talking about a life that's what

you can say

and merryman versus the rotten dirty spy

Ronaldo

and that is why ladies and gentlemen of

the jury I intend to prove Ronaldo

innocent

beyond the shadow of a smile

father was great I was so moved other

guy is innocent I moved for a dismissal

okay I'll take a tuna salad on Rye I'll

have a meatball hero

without mayo

[Music]

where am I

who are you what happened don't try to

speak

okay

push your handsome stranger here

I will answer all your questions in

alphabetical order

[Music]

one

I am Tanya gypsy princess

B

you are in a gypsy camp

OS what comes after B stupid h

h yeah

never mind I have to go I have a mission

no no no

I will nurse you back to health

I love you

no

it's Richard

hi mikh lost my brother

he is dead no he just passed out

are you sure positive

hi good

and let's continue where we left off

you'll get his boots

I'll get the hubcaps

thank you

[Music]

and everything in Readiness

I notified the Milkman and told the post

office to hold all our pigeons until our

return

they wouldn't want to be ripped off

while we're away

have you packed everything we need yes

[ __ ] what about the horses why can't

they pack their own bags

bad trouble

[ __ ] if I've been wondering how are we

planning to get away with killing king

Richard Bertram he will be at Dover

Beach correct hmm we will simply say

that he was killed in a surfing accident

brilliant Sheriff I can just see the

headlines now King pound on beach

stabbed 47 times by wave

finish packing the troops are waiting

foreign

this job requires smaller weapons ones

that are easily concealable uh excuse me

[ __ ]

tab

still the catapult

that's a smaller weapons small weapons

like like daggers daggers daggers that

can be easily concealed up one sleeve oh

[Music]

the pain

would you please State your full name

for the court

Friar Michael Chauncey tuck

something of it foreign

State your occupation I'm in ladies and

men's prayers an admirable profession

now Friar I want you to take a look

around the court Forest

and tell me if you recognize the traitor

M Ronaldo he's the Spy

no further questions you may

cross-examine

there's only one thing left for me to do

I have to take the stand the jury will

listen to me

[Music]

Ronaldo we'd all like to believe you

Innocent but the weight of evidence

against you is overwhelming

I can explain everything

then perhaps you can explain what you

were doing with the sheriff when you

were supposed to be in night school

he was tutoring me

and do you have an explanation for this

bag of gold that we found in your

saddlebags

tuition tuition you say

what about this note found enclosed in

the bag of gold

dear Ronaldo you're the best spy in the

whole world signed your pal Hubert

Sheriff of Nottingham

[Music]

look guys if you would just wait for

Robin to come or he can explain

everything your honor we have received

word that Robin never reached his

grandmother's house perhaps you'd care

to tell us where he is

he

I can't tell you that that's top secret

fire Runner ladies and gentlemen of the

jury I submit that Ronaldo is not only

guilty of spying but may actually be

guilty a foul play against our beloved

leader

foreign

here

we will lay in wait here here and here

catching him in a giant pincer here

and when you're with the pincer I'll be

on the bluff with Dancer and Prancer

just drink my liege once Richard is

disposed of

you will be king of England

yay indeed and once you move up to King

who knows what Heights awaits The Shadow

of United States Marshals

[Applause]

now men it's on to Dover and our

glorious gate with Destiny

[Applause]

[Music]

bathroom I do wish you would have waited

until we mounted up

reverse bring horses back

these buses come

the prosecuting attorney will now

deliver his closing arguments

ladies and gentlemen of the jury

I will be as brief as possible

the creep is guilty as Sin hang them

[Music]

I must admit that up to now I've been on

the fence but his eloquence move me

that concludes the closing arguments the

jury will now retire

[Music]

has the jury reached about it yes we

have your honor the verdict is 12 for

guilty and none for acquittal

12 but there's only six of you I know

but you're so guilty we voted twice

[Applause]

hey man what are we gonna do now don't

worry

I'm going to appeal

a pleasure might give us a break

please the verdict stands The Prisoner

will rise to receive sentence

foreign

[Music]

you have been found guilty of treasonous

charged the sentence is death by hanging

sorry Ronaldo but I just work here

do you have anything to say on your

behalf

yes

something which best expresses the

feelings of a resident alien about to

die for his adopted country

it goes something like this

give me a break come on guys

okay

let's get on with it

hook Beats

that would be Robin he'll tell you the

truth it's Robin's horse where

oh something must have happened to him

oh no he probably didn't get to King

Richard King Richard what's he got to do

with anything I gotta tell you now

King Richard may be in danger at Dover

let Ronaldo speak I am speaking why oh

yes that's right go ahead and speak

there is this law that the king must set

foot on English soil once every 24

months yes

hello

King rich is 24 months is up tomorrow

morning and the sheriff is going to kill

him when he lands on Dover Beach how did

you know that the sheriff told me that's

why I was a double agent I had to find

that out for Robin oh man something must

have happened to him he'll never make it

on time without his horse we will get

the horses we ride to Dover

why didn't Robin tell us what was going

on because he wanted us to act natural

so that the sheriff wouldn't suspect

anything do you mean you were actually

going to let us hang you rather than

endanger King Richard's life yeah I had

to

you were going to let us hang you

you know what you are

what stupid

why didn't you tell us

when you guys oh man you never tell

anybody anything you're so dumb you

could die

hey what what day is today Thursday

night Thursday night I was supposed to

read tea leaves and cheshires tonight no

no no that started listen meatloaf

that's me gloss I'm sorry

that means I've lost an entire day I

won't have a chance to ride to France

I'll I'll have to go directly to Dover

Dover tell me what do you want to go

there for there's no nightlife it's dead

there yeah nobody hangs out there but

White Cliffs I can't explain anymore but

I must go please don't go you are the

first real man I have ever met I love

you I love you that's very flattering

but I must go let him go he's not one of

us stick to your own kind if he goes I

kill him if he stays I'll kill him how

about a compromise how about if I go and

then come right back again

gypsies don't compromise we kill you you

kill me and you kill King Richard

you mean Richie you know good King

Richard wait no I'm quite well he spent

a weekend at our camp on the way to the

Crusade yeah

well we like to call her Anne

I think I can trust you we must get to

Dover Beach to save King Richard from

the clutches of the evil Sheriff of

Nottingham will you help me you got it I

mean for Richie anything good uh there

is one other thing however I seem to

have misplaced some of my personal

effects uh things that I've grown

attached to down through the years like

for instance uh my boots

oops

ah thank you you don't happen uh to have

a sword in there do you sword

oh very good

we ride to Dover oh oh my horse what

happened to my horse

is he a palomino with HR stamped on the

back no

and take him anyway

come on boys

foreign

[Music]

look down there do you see what I see

there it is what we've been waiting for

all these years yes a beat all to

ourselves there he is standing there

like a Sitting Duck

how we have waited for this moment now

we can have what we have always wanted

the perfect turn

[Music]

foreign

are you sure this is the proper approach

to the king positive just pretend that

we are a welcoming committee act cool

and casual

[Music]

okay I suggest we begin with a

preliminary greeting but remember this

conceal all weapons

welcome back to Great Britain your

majesty thank you Herbert

a tubert

Robin Hood tag you're it

after him

[Music]

the king is almost ashore quickly the

old sand in the eye track weren't

thinking

no it's working I can't see his name

[Music]

there is no one can save your now

oh boy

[Music]

wait I must stop him someone get an oven

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

safe what do you mean he's safe you

blind or something I say he's safe and I

say you are an idiot and you're out of

the ball game

and I say kill the Umpire

[Laughter]

made it a home run England is saved

hooray

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Robin we came this close to Hanging

Ronaldo you should have told us he was a

spy Ronaldo a a spy what do you mean you

know he said he was a double agent

working for you I don't know what you're

talking about

hey Robin come on you tell him what is

this something you better tell him now

come on it's no joke

I was just kidding

hey come on boys come on the music is

playing Let's Dance

[Music]

come here your handsome stranger

first step

you put your hand

in your Darkness packet

what do you call this dance

the hustle I don't think we should learn

not to dance and unfortunately we must

bid goodbye to our Gypsy friends when we

turn to Sherwood but let's clean up here

first remember keep

[Applause]

want to talk about your ecologist I ask

you a man like Robin with everything

he's got on his mind if he can take time

out to care about the environment how

about the rest of us what do you say we

make 1197 a banner year first let's use

smaller more efficient horses form horse

pools blow out your candles when you

leave the room put your fires down 10

degrees got a minute

hi

[Music]

hey

[Music]

foreign