Original subtitles

This is called spontaneous Kung-fu

His dick can lift 300 pounds

They say his whole body dicharges electricity

His dick discharges electricity, too

I didn't believe it at first but he said

You don't have to believe it

I'm sorry...

Why do you go straight? Turn left

It's the same to take Chien Kang Road

We always take San Ming Road

What's wrong? What's on your mind?

Stop bothering me. You don't drive

You bought a cake too?

If I had known it I wouldn't have bought one

Leilei, where is Xiaoyun?

She's at Mum's

Xiaoqi, your friend?

This is Wang Changgeng Hi!

My brother. My sister-in-law

Your car looks great

Just had it waxed in the afternoon

He meant your car is beautiful

Xiaoyun...

Mum, we're back

Mr. Zhou, don't eat betelnuts anymore Rinse your mouth

This is blood, not betelnut juice

To be honest

I can no longer tell whether it's blood or betelnut juice

How come? Betelnut juice is sweet and blood is salty

Mum, where is my coat?

Took it to dry cleaners

You're moving out just like this?

Why is Dad so late?

Ask your brother to call him

I think he has forgotten

Today is his 60th birthday

Mum, why are there two identical cakes?

Really?

It's true

What does Changgeng like to eat?

Anything will do

He's coming to our home for the first time

Why didn't you mention it earlier?

He's an overseas student Anything will do

Xiaoyun, Xiaoyun Don't stay so close to the TV

Siming, it's bad for the eyes

Call your Dad Okay

Ouch! You stepped on my foot

Xiaoyun, who is that person on TV?

I don't know

Watch it again Hello, is Doctor Chen there?

It's you. Uncle That is you

Right

Mum, look, it's uncle

It really is you

Gone. Dead

I didn't know you're an actor

Just an extra sometimes

That's how I met her

Xiaoqi, you don't work in the bank anymore?

I sell insurance

Siming, where is Dad?

He said he'll be back as soon as possible He told us to eat first

Water the flowers for me

Changgeng, go help

Hello...

Alicia I've been looking for you all day

Do you know how much insurance you have to pay per year?

More than forty thousand?

I guess so Right, right

That one which costs over 40 thousand is

life insurance as a favor

I've been selling insurance for a long time

I know a little about Physiognomy

I can tell from your look

You won't lose a bit if you buy insurance do you understand?

Sorry, Dad. Sorry

Doesn't matter

Let's eat

Let's make a toast to Dad

Wish Dad a long life!

Good future!

No, no

It's terrible to live so long

High blood pressure. Don't let him drink

It's Dad's birthday

Dad Mum said you have high blood pressure

Your Mum wants me to stay away from meat and sex

To be a monk

Come on, let's drink

Uncle looks very healthy

You don't look seventy at all

Of course not. I'm only sixty

Dad still swims everyday?

Dad looks healthier than Siming

Age doesn't matter Health is the most important

Right. That's why you need

a physical checkup every year

I can arrange it for you

I'm very healthy

You shouldn't say that

Like, weather changes

our fortunes too

The older we are, the higher the premium

And you know

all your income is taxable

But the insurance you get after death is not

Wang Changgeng!

What is he talking about?

He sells insurance

So you're saying old people

like us should buy insurance?

Old people like you should buy it

Let your mum buy it

She has all my money anyway

Mum, speaking of money

Can you mortgage this house

and lend us some money?

No way! You've already got two out of the three houses

This house is under my name

You think those two houses are enough for your brother to play around?

One has already been auctioned by the court

The one we live in

has already been mortgaged a million times

But Mum

I want to move back here after changgeng and I get married

Good! Why not?

But there's not enough room

What if we have children?

Mum can look after the children for you

Mum should move back to help you look after the children

To tell you the truth

your brother and I are too busy to do our things

How can we have time to look after Dad and Mum?

What things?

What's the matter?

What's wrong with Dad and Mum staying with us for a while

Great! You are the good guy

All you do is play Mahjong everyday

And me? I clean up your mess and run around

like crazy to clean up your mess

The business is pretty good, isn't it?

Right, you have just bought a new car

What new car? Just a second hand Benz!

Alright, are you finished yet?

That's enough! I'm not dead yet!

I want to eat the cake

Here comes the cake!

Come on, make a wish

The light went out

Lighter

Don't bother

Xiaoyun

sing a birthday song for your granddad

Happy Birthday to you happy birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you happy birthday to you

You're sixty too, right?

Hello!

Just a moment!

Hello!

OK

Hang it up!

Mum called to remind me to take birth control pills

What day is today?

Sunday

Shit! I haven't taken them for three days

What shall we do?

I'll take them all together

If you had told me I could've worn condoms

No way

Who knows if you use them all with me?

You can buy 30 tickets for your employees

You should not miss it

You can only see it in Las Vegas

There's nothing which can't be done

It depends on how you do it

About Fong...

Xiaoyun, look what you have done!

This is my new Chanel dress...

I told you not to play Why don't you behave?

You are not acting like a girl

Be patient

Xiaoyun, have a hamburger

Eat! Eat! I don't want to eat...

Take a bite Why don't you eat

I want to go back to Grandma's Just talk to Tony

The Friday Restaurant is all set

Friday? Chen Siming I want to go back to Grandma's

You haven't solved your Monday mess yet

and you want to get a Friday going!

Siming wants to borrow some money What do you think?

Don't lend him any money He has never done anything decent

But he did work hard every time

Economy is bad, you can't blame him

As long as he pays us back

Why ask me then?

I think what Changgeng said yesterday was right

We are getting old

But these days we don't have to rely on our children

We can buy life insurance as

a safeguard

Well

you stop talking about age? I am not retired yet

If you ask those young guys to swim with me

They might not be able to beat me in a competition

You keep talking about age You make me feel old

Will the children like it?

Kids like to play with the hula hoops no?

Bring Xiaoyun with you next time

Are you looking for me?

Yes, I need to talk to you

What's wrong? Running out of money again?

Mum, don't you know?

Siming is full of wicked ideas

He had just started his business

But now, he promise to open a Friday Restaurant with a friend

To open a restaurant? What kind of food will it serve?

All kinds of food, but mainly drinks

Mum we'll pay you back the money you lent us

The guy we met just is from the advertising agency

I already talked to him

and I chewed them out!

What kind of lousy propaganda is that?

Mum, I've already told him

to aim their promotion toward children

Children like to play with hula hoops right?

Right

Madam Qin, this price is impossible

You can go and check it out

I've already checked

I like to be straightforward

Sign it or not

Madam Qin can you increase just a little bit?

If you keep bargaining like this

no one will sell you anything again

I'm the Director of the Preschool Education Council

I own 3 kindergartens

Who has more power?

The one buying or the one selling?

Alright, just add fifty cents, OK?

Well... show a little more love For the sake of education

Love?

Please

I'll leave that to the teacher

This is my business

Alright come tomorrow to collect the deposit

Thank you...

I'm sorry! A traffic jam

It's quite alright For the sake of education

Xiaoyun, let's go home

I want to watch this cartoon

Go home and watch

No

Let her watch it

I'll take you for some ice-cream

Great

Mrs. Chen, how late is your husband's dental clinic open?

10:00 PM

Toothache?

I haven't got the time to see the dentist

I'll go tomorrow

Go see my husband, Dr. Chen I'll register for you

I'll give you the phone number and the address

I've got them

This is the address of the clinic

Grandma, let's go Let's go have ice-cream

And this is the phone number

Thanks

Welcome

Robbery

Don't bring the money like this again

Right

Thank you for coming

Thank you

The stockings, take them

They're for you. Bye

Give it to you

No, thanks

Mum

Another hundred thousand?

You lent money to Brother again?

He's running out of money

I've talked to your Dad about buying insurance

It doesn't matter if you buy it or not

You're always like this No principle at all

He is my son, your brother

If you ask for help I will just do the same

This is my principle as a mother

One hundred thousand

Xiaoyun

Have you finished writing?

I'm very tired

Tired? My poor little girl! Come

Let grandma help you, okay?

Which word shall we write?

Let's write the word Xiao

Come, hold the pen

Xiao, just like your name Xiaoyun

Grandma, it's Uncle

He is dead again

Cut

Xiaoqi, you count it every day Are you not tired of it?

Counting others' money isn't the same as counting your own money

I've only got small change

It doesn't matter

Sign your name here

Dr. Chen, I'm Xiaoyun's headmistress

My name is Qin

Your hands are very strong

I'm sorry

A bit rough, my hands What's your problem?

This side hurts It's worse once I open my mouth

It's cracks

It has been like this for two or three months

Please wipe away your lipstick

Open and close your mouth

Relax, relax

Think about something happy

Close your eyes

Think about something happy

What do you feel now? Does it hurt?

Did you hypnotize me? How come it doesn't hurt anymore?

Under a lot of pressure?

Nervous everyday?

The children drive me crazy

Teachers and staff just can't work without me

You're suffering from temporo-palatal joint syndrome

Your teeth have no problems

You are so tense that you grit all the time

And your gritting position is a bit off

Relax

I'll make you a tooth guard

Put it on every night

Then do some open-and-close-your-mouth exercises

The wisdom tooth on the right

need root canal treatment

It's a little bit more complicated

When can you come again?

Any time you want

What about Thursday 7 o'clock in the evening?

Fine. What is root canal treatment?

Sounds horrible

That is to pull out the nerves

They are all damaged

Damaged nerves? Look who's talking

Hey!

Mine

Siming, that bloody manager has run away

These hula hoop dancers

none of them are willing to go on stage What shall we do?

Call the police

Two circles

Here come the police

Show me your ID cards

You're finished. I win!

Who is in charge here?

The one talking on the phone?

Hang up, hang up

Siming, they're asking for the manager

Siming, are you listening?

Siming

Are you waiting for your boyfriend?

Yes, we're celebrating our anniversary

Don't tell my husband

Isn't it beautiful?

Whose is it?

Mine. It's new. Get on

How much?

Eighty thousand

What a spendthrift!

Just some money down

But you promised me to save money together

I have been working hard

Working hard?

You told me to buy a cheap wedding ring

But you spent eighty thousand dollars just like that

You're really selfish

Today is our anniversary

Did you buy any present for me?

Did you?

Wish you good luck! Bye!

Xiaoqi, what is it? Why such bad humor?

Hey! I can make more money

Make more money? When?

We earn money so we can spend it, right?

Changgeng, I've just spent thirty thousand dollars on clothes

As long as you are happy

I should have bought that wedding ring

There will be money for the wedding ring

when the time comes. Don't worry

Are you getting married?

It's up to you

Lean on my right

Relax and close your eyes

Lean on my chest

It won't hurt

It will only sting a bit

But soon you won't feel anything

Coming!

Coming, coming!

Leilei!

Mum, I'm sorry. Can I leave these hula hoops here for a moment?

And...

What's the matter?

Those hula hoop players won't play anymore

The manager ran away. Show is finished

Don't put them here. Don't put them here

Put them inside

Where is Siming?

I don't know

Mum

Xiaoyun why don't you put on more clothes?

You're still up? Come on, I'll put you to bed

I'll get you some medicine

Come again at 10 pm on Friday

But you close at 10, isn't it?

Alright, alright

Whatever you say

See you then

Xiaoyun, be good. Put your legs down

Go to sleep. Let Mum tell you a story

There were once three pigs who wanted to build houses

The first little pig was lazy

He bought some straw

and built a house without much thought

The second pig wanted to build one too

He bought some timber

And built a house within a couple of days

The third little pig also wanted to build one

He kept working and working

till it was finished

One day

a pile of hula hoops

fell down

Then

the house was mortgaged

Nothing left

Nothing

Mum, have you fallen asleep?

Don't you think that you're

a bit too old for this kind of thing?

What do you mean?

I mean being a dentist is no easy job

Don't you think you're too old?

You're my responsibility

Who asked you to take any responsibility?

You're happy and I'm happy, that's enough

I like straightforward women like you

Are you happy?

15!

Longlong is singing. Quick!

Longlong is a gold mine

His fans follow him everywhere

His customers follow him here loyally

Siming how much does he earn every night?

It's hard to tell It depends on whether he likes it or not

Once a customer offered him six hundred thousand

Really?

Guess what for?

For just a kiss

Siming and Tommy

you two have wasted your time for nothing

We might as well change career

Mei Mei, you're lucky

A kiss from me only costs sixty thousand

Cut it out

Sorry to have kept you waiting

There're too many customers today

I bring four of them out first

The others will come later

Hi, madam. To you! How should I address you?

Mrs. Yu Mrs. Yu

Mrs. Yu? No, it's Ms Liu

All who come here are young Miss not Mrs

Siming, Siming

What's up?

I... I feel like going out for a midnight snack

There's some Peking noodles in the fridge

I want to have some sesame pancake and twisted fritters

You make me feel hungry, too

I'll bring some back I'll bring some back

It's okay. I'll come along

You go by yourself then. I'm not going

What's wrong?

What's wrong? Why do you follow me all the time?

I'm tired

I want to be alone, alright?

Why are you in such a bad temper

Can't I have some sesame pancake and twisted fritter?

Can't I have some time to myself?

Can't I? Can't I?

Sure, you can

Then get me two hundred thousand dollars tomorrow

How much money do you think we have at home

I made the money

I don't want to beg

for money anymore

OK. OK

You earned the money

you can spend it anyway you wish

You think I enjoy minding your business

Everyday I think about saving money here and there

Utilities, food, plus bookkeeping

You take care of them all starting tomorrow

You can do whatever you want

Grandpa, please get up

Get up Getting up early is good for your health

Remember this: Health is 1

Beauty is the 0 in the 10

Wealth is the second 0 in the 100

You can keep adding 0 to it

But without Health

Everything goes back to zero

Good morning. Grandpa

Good morning

Grandpa, brush my teeth please

Brush teeth, how?

Upwards and downwards

Hold me, Grandpa

Xiaoyun soon I won't be able to lift you up at all

Breakfast for today: sesame pancakes and twisted fritters

All you have to do is tell me what you feel like eating

Here are twenty thousand dollars for you

Grandpa, you smell good

Brush you teeth

Dr. Chen is not here

He's not available at his clinic these mornings

You may register for the afternoon session

I'm going crazy

Don't get crazy

I have to attend a meeting for board of directors

My life has been so meaningless for years

Look at you. I'm glad I'm not your wife

Be good, help me tidy things up in here

When are you leaving?

I'm not leaving

You've got the guts?

No guts, no gain

Gotta have guts to do this How's my guts

You are truly mad

You wait for me

You talk to Miss Pang

tell the children to be careful

Okay

Madam Qin, how are you?

How are you? Mrs. Chen

How do you feel? Better?

Much better. Pinya... eh... Dr. Chen is very good at his work

Grandma

Time to go home

Madam Qin, look what I've made

Wow! Beautiful!

This is a fan, isn't it?

This is a Popsicle

I see, that's how your Popsicle looks

You are smart

Hey! We should go home

Madam Qin, bye-bye

Bye-bye!

Grandma, Madam Qin smells good

She smells just like Grandpa

Xiaoyun, what did you just say?

I said Madam Qin smells good

And then...

And she smells just like Grandpa

Your mum is waiting for you... wait

You're sweating ask the teacher to clean you up

You'll catch cold like this

Mrs. Chen, what's the matter?

Nothing, nothing

One, two, three, four...

How beautiful!

Is Xiaoyun good? Did you go to school?

I'm good, I do go to school

Grandpa is no good, he didn't go to work

Really?

Xiaozhen, do they belong to Dr. Chen?

Yes, they're Dr. Chen's

He sent me here to pick up some stuff he recently bought

Is there anything else?

Couple trousers

he had asked me to have them altered

What are you up to? You scared me

You didn't go to work today?

No

It is exactly the smell, it must be her!

What are you doing?

What exactly did she see in you?

I even registered for her

I can't imagine the case is over so soon

Either way I'm busted

What do you want me to do?

Why couldn't you just wash off

the smell before coming home?

Even the kid smelled it

It is not the time to discuss the smell

what do you want?

Leave that slut, never do this again

I can't do it

You mean you can't let go a lousy tramp

who comes on to an old fart like you?

I'm not an old fart and she's not a lousy tramp!

What is she then? She is

She is a loving and caring woman

She doesn't nag

She knows how to enjoy life

She is a slut!

Chen Pinyan! I guess you are crazy

You're right! I am crazy It's finally time

Fine. Let's all get crazy

I want a divorce!

I have no objections!

What about the clinic?

I quit

I can finally quit

Then

What about the children?

Do they still need custody?

You can have it

What about the money?

There isn't much left anyway you can keep it all

I want nothing but a bit of freedom

I'm really fed up

I never thought he would just leave

He comes home every evening

All these years

I have never tried to control him or anything

He doesn't even take a piece of clothing with him

What's up with him?

Is there anything wrong?

Nothing

You fill up the form

You go home first, we'll talk later

I don't know what I have done wrong

That Madam Qin

she's just a bit younger than I

Should I go to the Board of Education and report on her?

I will protest in front of the kindergarten

I will tell the truth

so that she can't run the kindergarten anymore

See. He never wore

anything so red and smart

He even buys jeans now

He's 60 year old man. What does he want?

Dad really goes all out

These are all designer labels

He is leaving them all behind?

Ma, you bug him too much about his age

It's probably menopause

He will be back in a few days

Men! Like you always say

They are sometimes like kids just don't mind him

But when I mention divorce

he agreed to it right away

At your age? Getting a divorce?

He got me all crazy. Well, how old am I?

You taught me, didn't you?

Don't be threatening men with breaking up all the time

But look what are you doing

I'm your mother, so I gotta teach you

What about me?

Hello

Siming, can you come back right away?

They say that we haven't shown any respect...

There are rules around here

You give them some drinks first I'll rush there soon

Just be careful, don't say anything

Xiaoyun, don't play with that gun

Put it down, put it down

Little girl, give it back to uncle now

Your mum is scared

Whatever you and Pa decide to do we'll respect it

I've to take care of some things Xiaoqi, you stay with Mum

Stay home for the night

You are just like Dad

words without responsibilities

I don't know how Leilei puts up with you

You manage your Changgeng I'll manage my wife

She really, really loves me

Mum, men are lovable and disgusting at the same time

I will help you get Dad back, OK?

See who is coming, and I'm not lying

I don't even have to bother looking

Tired birds are coming home now

Dad, you look tired

Take a rest

Sweet talk and everything will be fine

I will go now, bye bye!

I've come to get some clothes

You have no shame

Dad, what do you want anyway?

Xiaoqi, it's our business you kids stay out of this

If I were a kid I would stay out of this

But I am an adult now

So what?

You marry someone when you feel like it

or you don't when you don't feel like it

Did I say a word?

You're living with a guy

have I ever stuck my nose in your business?

I respect you as an adult

I respected everyone all these years

Why don't you respect me for once?

I really don't understand

You are the most perfect couple that I know

It has been my dream to have a marriage just like yours

What on earth do you want? Dad!

Dad, do you really love that woman?

Will she take care of you like Mum did for years?

How many years do you think I'll still have?

Dad! I beg you not to leave!

Take care of your Mum

Dad

When you are with parents

please smile a bit more, okay?

I know you're tired after taking care of the children all day...

Okay, that's it. Thanks for you help

A bit more smile a bit more kindness and effort

Mrs. Chen, thank you

Thank you for bringing over the stuff for me

They are Pinyan's

You tell him, if he wants to move he should really do so

Let's not discuss private matters in school

I don't get it you're an attractive woman

Why would you want to be fooled by an old guy?

Who is fooling whom around?

And you claim to be working for education

You are wrong, I'm not an educationist

I'm a business woman in education

Which century do you live in?

Nowadays men and women struggle for a living just the same

You think if you stayed at home and waited on him

he'd be kind to you?

Don't you have a name of your own?

My name has been Chen for years

Well then I am not seducing any teenage kid

Right! You are capable and liberated

For you it is just fooling around nothing serious

But

my husband and my home are my life

They are my life

I just can't stand a woman crying

Okay, please don't cry

Why must you be so uptight?

If it hadn't been me today it would have been somebody else tomorrow

It's just my lousy luck to run

into him at a time like this

You see, what a lousy luck I have?

I have got to carry this huge suitcase home for you

Oh, gosh! Why is it so heavy?

Do me a favor, would you? Help me carry this over to the car

Would you help me, please? Okay?

Come on!

Come on, I'll make a toast to you all

Thanks for taking care of me

But you are not taking good care of me today

Longlong hasn't come to have a drink with me

Tell Longlong to come over, hurry

Siming is like my little brother you are too

We are of the same family

You've got to save my face

Feng, had you mentioned earlier

we would've come to Mr. Chen's assistance long ago

I toast to you, Big Brother Help yourself

Big Brother?

Are you underage?

Hey kid, your whisker is just growing right?

It depends on where you mean

Longlong is here

Longlong, come over here

Longlong Feng

I think I am drunk

Feng, so soon

Why don't you make a toast to everyone ten thousand a shot

Fine, I'll drink to everyone, one by one

Changgeng why on earth should we get married?

Why don't you get some sleep?

Why should two people who are together get married?

And then I wait on you and you support me?

Why is it every time you ask why

I get so sleepy?

Fine we don't have to talk about marriage

I might as well move back to my mum's

You don't care anyhow

Fine. Do as you wish

I really don't know why

Why do you always get so upset

over other people's business?

You made me all confused

Are you confused? Or am I confused?

Other people's business

has nothing to do with our marriage

Don't make things so complicated

Getting married is simple

All that stuff about buying a car and a house before getting married

Just think, after we get married

You make money, and I do, too

We make money together and be happy!

Is it so simple?

I think it is not that complicated

OK! Do you move back to Hong Kong

or stay here after getting married?

As you wish!

What happens when we have children?

We'll spare him a bowl of rice

You don't get what I'm saying, do you?

Do you understand what I am saying?

You don't understand me I don't understand you

why we should be together?

It's up to you!

In this world does one really understand another?

Twenty Ten

Fifteen

Nothing

I like him. Only him

I'm sorry, I'm the boss here

That's right, you're the boss

You make the decision here, boss, right?

Yeah. Boss

You sang very well

Has anyone ever told you that your eyes can speak?

No. You could see them in this darkness?

Since when do you hire foreign workers in your lounge?

Don't you know she's quite popular there?

She is the star not available to everyone

Really?

Isn't it the same at your place?

Isn't that Longlong overseas Chinese from Thailand?

Coming from overseas is always popular

What's it gonna be? Yes or no?

Yes what? No what?

Fifteen

You drink this one for me

Feng, spare me

I have already had three glasses for you today

Feng, let it be Enough

My kidney is in a pretty good shape but not my liver

Not a piece of you is in good shape

Feng, I always win. God damn me

Bottom up for me

He drinks his share You've got to drink up yours

Good, good

Damn! How many tables is Longlong serving tonight?

Doesn't he know I'm here?

I am treating today! He's making me lose face

Is Longlong very popular? Of course

You dance very well

Thank you

Ain't you buying Longlong a Big Drink?

A Big Drink?

You know, a tip for the boy

Three thousand dollars for a glass

It depends on how many you buy

Three thousand for a glass!

One glass is enough

Then one glass

I'll hurt someone if Longlong doesn't come in soon

Feng, don't lose your temper

Master, Master

What's up now?

Do you want me to sit down or go dancing?

Longlong is dancing with a customer now

Three thousand for one session I will buy his whole night

He is dancing?

If he doesn't show up in 30 seconds just wait and see

Should I pay for the dancing?

I mean, buying you a Big Drink

You dance so well, they won't charge you

I dance every morning

Dancing in the morning? Right!

Twenty seconds

Feng, I toast to you

Damn it!

Longlong you don't behave like this with me!

Feng, I have some other customers here

When I am here you aren't supposed to have others

Feng, can I make no deal with you for one day? You can't

You want dance? I have already finished

It's your turn now

You stood me up for this old bitch?

You are the bitch

Mr. Chen, who are you shouting at?

Tell me!

Tell me she's the old bitch!

She is my mum

No wonder you wouldn't come in

You're screwing your boss' mother

You must have good money

Mr. Chen you are bound to be filthy rich

You even make money off you mother

How dare you shout at my son!

Stone, wreck this place up

Got it?

Where is your car? I don't know how to drive

Get a taxi

There is one

It's got someone already!

They got away

Where are they? Go find them!

Auntie

You are... I am Changgeng

Do you know each other?

This way Chase them

Get on the bike, go

You watch it. Don't ever come back!

He is Longlong

This is Changgeng he is my daughter's boyfriend

How do you do? How do you do?

I think what Uncle has for that woman...

is merely sexual desire, not love

So don't you worry

A man of sixty still interested in that kind of thing

What thing?

What Changgeng just said!

What thing did Changgeng just say?

You know... that... Uncle

The last two words

Sex... Sex...

Sexual desire Right

You see, your problem lies right here

You don't even dare mention sex

Uncle is at his menopause

Don't help her find an excuse

I bet... that woman got some

things you don't have

Right, she is younger and bolder

She is liberated and has no shame

She is more exciting

She... is lustful

Good, you're making progress

Got any cigarettes? We'll reward her with one

Don't turn on the light

You are so unromantic, come on!

When is the last time you initiated love-making

None

Is he impotent?

Sex is not the most important thing between couples

The most important thing is

men should be responsible for the family

To provide security to this home

Uncle Chen in my heart is just like

this mountain

Come on! It's fun

You see him as a mountain?

Why don't you see him as a sea?

Sea is too enormous to grasp

Sea is great, it's water

If you got a glass this small

the water is the same size

And if you have a jug this large the water becomes this large

You put water in the sea and flow along in it

Changing and growing all the time sounds good?

That doesn't give me a sense of security

Sense of security?

Do you women provide us men with that?

Sure we do!

Really? Like Xiaoqi?

She wants marriage in one minute and doesn't the next

Does that give me a sense of security?

Do you give her a sense of security?

Of course I do Look what I do for a living

I am an insurance broker I am a good example

I put her name down as beneficiary

for my own insurance policy

Incredible

Have you got any insurance?

Why should I buy insurance in my line of work?

All-round insurance

Not that kind

Let's say you drink too much you get sick

Or if you fight and get hurt you'll be compensated for all that

You're not only insured at this moment but your whole life

Okay, I will buy it

You will?

Now?

Right, we are efficient

I don't want to listen

Xiuyu dentist clinic

We open from

Monday to Saturday

Nine am to noon

two pm to five pm

What is your name?

Cai Deyao

Cai Deyao!

How old are you?

Twenty eight

Education Background?

College graduate

College graduate? Why do you work here then?

Fast money! I'll take off when I earn enough

Occupation: gigolo Where to?

Public relations

I enjoy travelling

I'll pick a country and settle down

What about your parents?

I am alone, they are all dead

Who is your beneficiary?

You can write her name

Me?

Sign

It feels odd

Talking to you both today feels great

I seldom have this kind of feeling while talking to my children

I tell you this: Don't treat your children as children

Treat them as friends

And your husband, treat him as lover

Then you practice talking about sex ten times daily

Sex...

Then lustful...

Mum

Mum

Mum

Mum

Come in

So messy

I want you to know

I am Cai Deyao after work

no more business

This name doesn't match you you are more like Longlong

Of all the stories I heard yours is pretty touching

However

you can only stay here free for one night

You can take a bath

You can sleep in this room

I sleep outside, okay?

Sorry to trouble you I'll just stay for one night

Not one night. It's morning already

Go get some sleep

This is a water bed

Don't be nervous. I bring you clothes

You've got what other women have I've seen them all

Just don't get hurt in my house, OK?

Sorry... I just wanted to tell you that

this lock is broken

Well, let me tell you

electric tube, gas gun, whistle

I have them all

No wonder your husband left

Why don't you go to sleep?

Sorry, sorry

Ouch!

Why don't you shut the door?

Longlong, Longlong

How could I let him down?

Mum, where did you go?

I couldn't find you this morning

A hundred thousand what do you get another hundred for

Household expense

Ma, I am moving back home

Perfect, you take care of the house then

What about you?

I am leaving home temporarily

Where are you going?

Take good care of yourself

Changgeng, that guy is pretty good

Ma'am

Chen Xiaoqi? Are you Chen Xiaoqi?

Hu Qizhong your classmate from primary school

Ah! You've grown up now

I'm wearing glasses

You are just as pretty as when you were young

Really?

Really!

How much do I pay in advance?

Ten thousand

Fine

Mum

Ten thousand

What are you doing?

Someone has to inform his family

He doesn't have relatives in Taiwan

Let's go, better not get involved in this sort of thing

Do you have a sense of responsibility?

It all happened because of me I can't just leave it

This is fine, thank you

Mum, last night did you...?

What...?

I was afraid that he might take advantage of you

He didn't

I initiated it

Mum!

This is all you care about?

But how could I stay in this business

if words get out?

Then you tell them, I am not your mother

Tell them you saw someone else

I didn't mean that

Sometimes

I think I must have spoiled you

You seldom think for others

Only what's good for you

Although your father is making a mistake at his old age

he at least provided me with a good life for years

Have you ever thought of Leilei and Xiaoyun?

Hello!

Hello!

Siming, the police is here to close down our restaurant

He is looking for the person in charge

It's you again

You have such lousy luck always on the phone

Dad has made some tasty soup

Come, try it

Why don't you have some?

It's too hot, I'll have it later

Not so loud

Do you know how long we haven't been together?

You don't have to be the boss yourself

I don't need designer clothes

Didn't you want to have a son?

We are too busy to have

another child

You could find a good job

There are lots of high-pay jobs around

right?

Siming... Siming... Siming...

Look at you

You've got grey hair

Your hands are strong

Of course, I play tennis everyday

Great! You could use that strength later

Use it to vote for me

Of course

Thank you! My hand!

Thank you

Why did you say his hands are strong?

Is this all you are telling me?

Nothing! Nothing!

Give me a vote! Thank you!

Pin

Zhen

Pin

How are you! Where have you been?

I am terribly busy

I heard you got divorced again

My fate is rotten

I've told you not to jump into marriages you never listened

The gentleman is?

Your friend?

This is Mr. Chen

A friend for a screw

The smell of durian reminds me of home

Why don't you go home?

I sure will, when I earn enough money

What do you mean by 'enough'?

Until I am dead beat or I can't stand it anymore

There is much work out there

Why do you especially choose...

To live on women?

I live on women, you live on man

it is all the same

It is not the same

I gave out the best years of my life Thanks

I am tired too

Be careful

If it weren't for people like us

how would your son survive?

I guess he should be alright now

He is a grown up

he should be responsible for himself

Wow! What is it?

You had better not eat durian in the hospital

I miss home

Time for injection Boy, it smells horrible

Head nurse

Has anyone told you that your eyes can speak?

Thank you

Alright!

Put the durian in the fridge

so others won't complain

That is it

Sorry! Head nurse

You are beautiful today

Changgeng is here

Your insurance premium will be ready next week Really?

Really So soon

It's good that we ran into Changgeng

the other day

Right, if I hadn't met you that day

I wouldn't have known Changgeng

Right, if you never met her

you wouldn't need me today, you see

You didn't tell Xiaoqi about me did you?

I have been looking for her for several days

What's the matter? What happened?

She said she wants to be alone for a while

She wants to think a little

I don't know what she needs to think about

Everyone should think a little

What about?

Think about why you want to marry Xiaoqi?

She is so bad-tempered nagging all the time

She has been like this

since the first day I met her

You never know

One day, out of the blue

you might pick on her for this

and that

How can that happen? I fear she will pick on me

Are you tired?

Still alright

Are your parents home?

They have all left

My father walked out on us with another woman

My mother was so angry that she moved out as well

Poor Xiaoqi

Why don't you invite me to your place?

Alright

Come

How dare you banging another man behind my back?

One moment please

What happened?

I am here to sell insurance, but she...

Selling insurance to my wife on the couch Nothing

No

Don't hit him. Don't hit him

Don't hit him

He is dead

Wait a minute

Sorry, I...

I...

Sorry

It not you...

Shall I go?

Fine, bye-bye

What is the matter?

What is the matter?

Hey, one moment please

Hey

Is it my mum? Why does she want to talk to you?

Thank you

Miss, be quick

Thank you

I am the mother of your employee

If I knew my daughter's company

has group insurance Thanks

then as a mother, I feel secure

Because...

You see, this is my daughter

Sit down, please

No thanks

She has been in your company for a year now

So that gives you one more reason to buy this group policy from me

You see I explained to Manager Liu Deputy Manager Xing

and your supervisor the protection this policy

offers to the company

Therefore, to you

You see, if you bought this group policy

I would naturally encourage

her to stay here

and not change her job easily isn't that so?

Yes

I've tidied up the place for you

A home should be like a home

I have never regarded it as a home

Are you happy with it?

Mine

Yours?

I didn't know that I've got a new tenant

I don't want to go home

But I've got no place to go

It's just until my insurance career picks up a little

I'm looking for a place now

I won't trouble you for long

I'm hungry

Coming up

You work on anyone when you get a chance don't you?

She said she needs a job

Should I recommend her to work as an extra?

But she comes to the bank to sell insurance

it's embarrassing

It's right to start with the people you know

You're her daughter

If not you, she'd start

with Longlong, or those gigolos

Who? What gigolos?

How are you getting on with your work?

Has anybody bought insurance from you?

Quite a few. Because I'm long-winded

I tell you, when I'm at home I'm Cai Deyao

I don't do business

I still think the name Cai Deyao

doesn't suit you

Mr. Cai Deyao

Longlong, Longlong, I'm not that lustful

Good

Don't use your hand. Use chopsticks

Alright, you should like my mother

I haven't been anybody's mum for a long time

Check who it is before opening the door

Hey, open the door Who is it?

Changgeng

Let him in

He has a good nose. He can smell the food Xiaoqi is here too

Let me introduce Cai Deyao to you

I know him

He's the one who uses stockings

to collect money from women

That gigolo

No wonder you don't want to go home

It has nothing to do with him

Don't comment on things you don't know

Since you're here let's have dinner together

Why not?

Go eat yourself

C'mon, go get her

You should explain it to her

Do you think she'll understand?

Do you think she'll listen?

I don't want to listen

Alright

What happened?

My dad is being screwed by a young woman

while my mum is screwing a young man

Changgeng what's happened to this world?

What's happened?

Let's get married

Dare I?

Dare I?

Dare I?

Your dad's gone to buy breakfast

He'll be back soon. Sit down

Alright, I'll wait for him

How is Xiaoyun?

Fine

I don't think I have seen you before

No, you haven't It's my mum who picks up Xiaoyun

But now she has moved out to live with someone else

With whom?

With whom?

Strange. Where has he gone?

He's not back yet. I'll be late

Why does it take so long? Dad

Someone wants to see you

Help me get the grocery

Someone wants to see you. Come in

Mum, Dad asks us to come to ask you for money

Come in and have breakfast with us

It's getting cold Why don't you put on more clothes

Why don't you greet people?

Grandpa

Call him uncle

Follow me

What do you want?

I wanted to see how you're doing?

Cut the crap. What do you want?

Dad can you borrow money from Auntie Qin?

I'll pay it back in two weeks

You'll call any woman mum if she gives you money!

I'm not like you I won't do things just for money

Besides money

am I completely worthless?

Come have breakfast quickly

I have a meeting to attend

Auntie Qin

What Auntie Qin? Eat your breakfast

Go home and tell your Dad

I'm not a bank

Don't I send you enough money each month?

It's getting more and more difficult to earn money

The expense are high We should be more careful

Mum, you're going to marry this grandpa

or this uncle?

A kid shouldn't ask so much

Why are you so loud? He's just a kid

I got to go

Dad, I'm going

I have let your mum down but I have treated you fairly

What else can I do other than being a gigolo?

Sign here

Big brother four million really is not enough

What about a little bit more?

Your house has been mortaged for numerous times

I regard it as a loan on credit to you

Nowadays, it's difficult to find such a philanthropist

I donate one million dollars to the charities each year

Don't worry I'm sure I can pay the money back

Of course you don't have to pay it back

But then you should take some calcium tablets

To make your bones stronger!

Hello!

The bank informed us that

Cheng Bao Co's cheque has bounced again

Xiaoyun, look at the mess you've made

Have you found Tony?

He went abroad The landlord has called again

Anyway

we must raise five million dollars before Friday

Don't worry. I can manage it

Come on! Come on!

28...

Be careful Your neck will ache if you play too long

Run Run! It crashed

Don't play

Come over

Take a rest

Very comfortable

You must have been very beautiful when you were young

right?

You haven't worked for a long time An occupational disease?

I told the truth

I can no longer tell what's true and what's not

Right

You think that people like us won't tell the truth

right?

But I tell you

people like us have true feelings too

Nobody has taken care of me like this for a long time

I really want to thank you

I think I can break the rule once

It's tickish

Cai Deyao

You don't have to lick my ear even if you want to thank me

I'll be happy if you get on well

I have caught a cold

It's a bad day today

The accountant resigned

Neighbours reported to the authorities that

our school kitchen is built illegally

I have to find someone

to help settle the matter with the authorities

I don't know how much I'll have to spend

Why do you still give money to your husband?

How annoying!

Things outside are annoying So are things at home

Have you divorced?

Strange How come you've become so annoying too?

I heard that your wife has moved out

There are some problems which can be solved with money

But there are also some which can't be solved with money

I won't get involved with that Do you understand?

Yes!

For you

Thank you

One more time

And what am I gonna get?

You'll get something you never dreamed of A good one?

OK OK

Still! Be still!

I don't want to go to school Be good. Listen to me

There are a lot of new schoolmates here to play with you

Alright?

Be good. Listen to me

Grandma will love you only if you be good

Good morning

Xiaoyun, you are here

Don't worry

Kids are like this in a new environment

Don't worry

Xiaoyun look how many children are playing here

Say goodbye to mum

Goodbye, mum

Goodbye. Be good

Damn it!

Don't forget the goodies. Here!

Damn it! Damn it!

You're real cruel

You're not angry with me, are you?

Why should I? I want to come back myself

Come to see me when you're free

You are some kind of woman

Don't take it to the heart Things are easier that way

Oh! Your hands are still so strong

Dad

You're awake?

You're back

I want to take a rest I've caught a cold

I'll get the hot water running for you

Take some vitamin C first

Take a rest. You'll get well tomorrow

She's getting more and more like her mum

Fuck!

Don't go!

Hello!

Hello!

What am I going to donate to the charities?

Who is it?

Take more calcium tablets The bones will be stronger

You're looking for Chen Siming? So am I

Hello

Hello

Damn you! How dare you hang up on me!

Don't you dare hang up again

I tell you nobody alive dares owe me any money

What do you want?

Watch out for your kid

Hello

Hello...

Will you marry Changgeng?

Any time now

Good, if you have thought it over

How can it be completely thought over?

At least in the last minute before getting married

Dad, let's get Mum back, okay?

Are you afraid that you're not as good as that young man?

Dad, that's the guy

Come on

I'm sorry. Wait a minute

Very beautiful. Don't worry

I dare not. The dress is too short

No, it isn't. Believe me

You look like thirty years old I'm not lying

Is that your mum?

I guess so

Those shoes are too high

Hurry up!

It's a retribution. It's a retribution!

Get up!

They're telling you to get up

No imagination at all

Boss, you look good

Good?

My shop has been smashed up by you

So serious?

Any cigarettes?

yes

How's my mum?

What a question

Where are you going?

Going abroad for business investigation

To see if there's any new product to import

How about you?

Going home

To see your mum?

I am not that lucky

They're all dead

Why do you go back then?

Right. Why do I go back?

Look at these people

Why do so many people go abroad?

Is it better to go abroad?

This bloody place Stay as far away as you can

Come on, Xiaoyun. Get off quickly

Mum, I want to pee

Follow me. Don't run around

Excuse me, is Chen Xiaoqi here?

Mum, I want to pee

Leilei Xiaoqi

Your bank informed me that I don't have enough deposit

Check it out for her, where's Brother? Mum, I can't wait any longer

I haven't seen him the whole day

He should have deposited the money

Ma'am, your account number?

Here is my passbook My account number is there

Can you check it out for me again?

Mum, I want to pee

Two more cheques are rejected

Mum, I can't wait any longer It's impossible

Let me check it out for you

Xiaoyun...

Xiaoyun...

Where have you taken my child?

Your daughter wanted to pee

You're naughty

I've told you

not to talk to strangers

Haven't I?

She is still very young. I'm sorry

Want to cry? Don't cry

Don't cry. Hear me?

Xiaoqi, I'll leave Xiaoyun with you

Take good care of her

Leilei

Mum! Mum!

More gently. Come on change to first gear

Step on the gas

Don't go so fast

Gas costs money, right?

Don't go so fast

Come on, let's try again

Step on the gas gently

Listen

The sound changes

Let out the clutch

The left foot, not the right foot

Your foot, not your hand

I'm sorry Can you put the brake on for me?

I'm afraid there's something urgent Hey!

Ma, Siming is in trouble

Leilei left Xiaoyun with me Can we go?

I need Dad's and your signature to mortgage the house

Leilei

Have you seen her come back?

I don't know

Leilei

Pinyan, Pinyan

Come up, come up

Come up

Comp up!

Come up!

Is death horrible?

You're died so many times

Is death horrible?

I don't know

Imagining it is probably more horrifying?

Moreover death is just a matter of a second

Who knows which second?

How's it? Is it okay?

Yes, I'm alright

I won't leave you alone anymore

Go to sleep

Are you alright?

Nothing

Just took a walk, then went home

It's strange. I feel that really

my home for the first time

That day I had a heart attack I thought I was finished

Suddenly, I saw your face in the water

You stood by the side of the pool waving at me

You seemed to be calling my name

You asked me to keep on swimming and not give up

I felt that I was full of energy

I was completely awake

With my last breath

I swam to the shore

But it's you who saved me at last

I cannot thank you enough

Mum, why don't you listen to me?

Mum, listen

Don't be soft-hearted

I shouldn't forgive him so easily

I shouldn't. I shouldn't

I...

What's the matter?

Pinyan, see who has come?

His name is Cai Deyao

You can call him Longlong

He is the one who took me

in when nobody cared for me

He is my God son now

He is the husband who ditched me at that time

Greet him

God father

Auntie, we all live here together?

That's right

Put it here

This is for you

Xiaoyun, put your toys away

Hang my clothes on the left yours on the right

Dad, can I put it here? I've got no place to put it

There are two more boxes downstairs whose are those?

Go get me that larger suitcase

I'm sorry. Please wait a minute

I'm on the phone

Changgeng remember to meet Longlong at the door

Right, let me give you an example

For example you have one thousand dollars

You put 900 in your left pocket 100 in your right pocket

Those one hundred dollars

are zipped up in the pocket

They belong to you forever. Right

The insurance company offers you a guarantee

You are on your own now!

To recapture the vigor of youth that we once had

The meal is ready!