Original subtitles

- Okay, bug, you got two choices. - [bug buzzing]

Either you fly outta here, or you go out on a tissue.

Hold on. Let me get the door.

Spread the word out there, Reba's house is off-limits to all pests.

We're back!

San Antonio was muy bien.

But I missed you. Did you miss me?

Ooh!

You could say I c-counted every minute,

- every precious minute. - Oh.

Hey. Carl and Ann say hi.

His dental practice is going crazy.

Did you know, according to Smile magazine,

San Antonio is the root canal capital of the world?

Sorry, we don't get Smile magazine. We just get Frown.

- It's such an interesting city. - Mm.

We went to the Alamo. I asked them if they had a rental car.

Oh.

Kyra did that joke once. She was four.

I love San Antonio. Remember, we were gonna move there once.

Yeah, well...

Wait a minute. Are you two thinking about moving?

Now, Reba, don't get upset.

Oh! [whooping]

Well, I'm just excited for you guys.

See, Carl's looking to take on a partner,

- and I just-- - Oh, God bless him!

I always did like Carl. Oh, yeah, good, good man.

Well, we even met with a realtor and saw a few houses.

It'll be so great to get out of our condo into a big fancy home.

One with one of those shiny refrigerators.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, Barbra Jean.

Remember the words we weren't gonna use when we talked about buying a house...

big, fancy, shiny?

Hey, I'm flat broke. But if you're asking me to sell everything I own

and give you the money, consider it done.

But I just hate the idea of leaving you, buddy.

[laughs]

No, buddy.

If you think we have fun together now,

just imagine how wild it'd be if we only see each other once a year.

[quietly] Yes!

You know, it is a fantastic opportunity.

But, well, there's the kids.

- Oh. - I don't know.

The idea of being four hours away from them just doesn't feel right.

Yeah, I understand.

But Barbra Jean could still move down to San Antonio.

Hey, you're back.

- We'll talk about this later. - How was your trip?

You mean our trip? You mean the one to San Antonio?

I almost forgot we went because it was so unremarkable.

I like your hair like that.

The trip was great, sweetheart. Thanks for asking.

- Goodbye. - Ooh!

Dear sweet Reba.

Seein' stars, seein' stars.

Oh!

- [door closes] - So, how was school today?

Interesting. Uh, I got this letter.

Ooh, a letter from school.

I used to have to sit down when Cheyenne would bring me one of these.

- Oh my gosh! - Isn't it hilarious?

Because I got a 4.0 in social studies,

I was invited to the summer semester in England.

It's not hilarious, it's wonderful!

And it's because you're such a good student, and you like tea.

Oh, and you'd get school credit for it too.

Yeah, it would have been nice.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What do you mean, "it would have been nice"?

- Don't you wanna go? - Mom, come on.

You've got five people and a baby in this house.

I don't think you've got an extra 2,000 bucks lying around.

Van eats that much every month in chips.

But, hey, 2,000 isn't so much. I mean, it's barely a thousand.

Plus another thousand.

Oh, Reba, I got to the car, and I just missed you so much.

Kyra, hand me that flyswatter over there.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Ha, hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

[clacking]

Thanks for letting me sell lemonade, Mom.

Oh, sure, Jake. How'd it go?

- Good. - What's this?

I want it to go for Kyra's trip.

Oh, Jake, you sweet little boy.

Oh!

You know how much it would mean to Kyra to get

to go on this trip, don't you?

No. I just know if she goes, she won't be here.

- I know. - I mean, I couldn't believe her.

- She was, like, totally rude. - I know.

And I'm, like, "You're being totally rude."

I know. And she was, like, "I'm not being rude. You're being rude."

Did you see me when she said that?

"Oh, yeah, we're the ones being rude."

And did you see me? I'm like, "Oh!"

She's all, "Whoa, whoa, whoa."

And I'm like... I'm like... [scoffs]

It's a good thing you let him do the talkin'.

Mom, the university's making me take classes this summer.

I bet I know why. 'Cause they're rude.

No, they say if I don't take classes this summer,

I won't have enough credits to be full-time.

- You took all your courses, didn't you? - Yeah, of course I did.

And I finished most of 'em.

- Most? - Mrs. H,

she had American literature at 8:30 in the morning.

You can't study American literature that early.

They should have called it Early American literature.

So you've been dropping classes?

Do you have any idea how much those classes cost?

Yeah, I do... now.

I mean, I guess I just... I didn't think about it then.

So is it okay if I take classes this summer?

Sure. It's fine with me.

Why don't you see if they have a class on keeping your head out of your butt?

You know, I don't think they do, or my counselor would have told me about it.

What I mean is, Mom, I need to borrow the money.

Sorry, kiddo. Any cash I can find is going towards Kyra's trip.

Your dad came up with half of it,

and I'm just one lemonade sale away from coming up with my half.

But then I won't be a full-time student.

I got news for you, Bubbles, you're not.

Mom, we're gonna lose our day care.

- What? - If I'm not a full-time student

Elizabeth loses her spot at the day-care center.

And we might not get her back in for a couple of years.

That's what the rude lady told us. And then she's all, "Duh!"

And I'm, like, "Hey--"

Mom, if we can't use the day-care center, I can't go to college at all.

[sighs] Why do these things always come up when I'm out of money?

Why am I always out of money?

Oh, yeah.

Well, yeah, but look. What I'm saying is if my card is already at my credit limit,

then the obvious answer is to raise my limit.

Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I am making more money now. I got a raise.

- One million dollars a year. - [dial tone]

- Hello? - [knocking]

Reba, I gotta talk to you fast.

- Me first. - Make it snappy.

Okay, I need a favor, and it's a really big favor,

one that would seem more natural if we were still married or I had a gun.

But I need you to lend me my half for Kyra's trip.

Oh, Reba.

Oh, come on, Brock. I'll pay you back.

I'll pay you back with interest.

Okay, maybe I won't,

but I'll pay you back with gratitude.

Something came up at Cheyenne's school.

Reba, you know I'd help if I could, but this is a really bad time for me.

And not my usual bad time where I'm just pretending it's a bad time.

I am tapped out.

Yeah, tapped out like when you pay 50 bucks for a game of golf.

Fifty? You know where I can play for 50?

We put a down payment on a house.

[gasps] You did it! You're buying a house in San Antonio?

- Well, not exactly. - Well, where is it then?

- [beeps] - Twenty-six seconds door to door.

We kinda bought the house around the corner.

Hey, neighbor.

You gonna trim those hedges out front or what?

No! What happened to San Antonio?

You were supposed to buy the house in San Antonio!

Four hours away, not 28 seconds.

Twenty-six.

And that's in heels. [smacks lips]

San Antonio would have been great.

And I would have doubled my income, but I couldn't leave my kids.

Oh, Reba, this is so exciting.

You and me, working together in our community.

You know what we should do first? Organize a Neighborhood Watch group.

Why? It's too late for that now.

Honey, aren't we lucky to live right around the corner

- from a stand-up comedian? - Oh, yeah.

You are gonna emcee the block party, Shecky.

[laughs]

- Barbra Jean, honey, uh, listen. - Yeah.

I've gotta talk to Reba about something else. Could you go back to the house?

Oh, sure. You know, I bet I can beat my record of 26 seconds

if you let me hop your fence in the backyard.

Oh, honey.

I don't think our realtor needs to see that.

- Spoilsport. - Yeah.

Oh, hey, Reba, you wanna hear something really wild?

If I stand on my toilet in my upstairs bathroom,

I can see right into your bedroom window. [squeals]

Kids, we're movin'.

Leave your stuff. Just get in the car!

Van, registration is today. We have to go in there. Come on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's take the baby with us, so she can't hit us.

Van, why are you being so nervous? She said she'd give us the money.

I know. Just I have a feeling it's coming with a big lecture.

And sometimes when your mother is giving us a big lecture,

and she wants to emphasize a point, she likes to give me one of these.

- Come on. - [groans]

- Uh, hey, Mom. - Hey.

Whatcha doin'?

Mom, today's the day that I have to register, you know, for those classes.

- It's on the table. - This is really, really great of you.

- Uh-huh. - Okay, so, um,

I guess that we'll go to registration.

Thank you.

Thanks, Mrs. H. You know what's funny?

We thought you were gonna give us a big lecture.

What?

- Van! - What?

No. No, nothing. Nothing. No.

- Sit down. - [whimpers] My bad.

A lecture?

Why would I give you a lecture?

I mean, if I gave you a lecture and you didn't like it, you'd just drop it, right?

Oh, good one.

I mean... I mean, bad one.

I mean, shut up, Van.

Mom, I swear, we feel really terrible about this.

There's nothing you're gonna say to us

that we haven't already said.

It's also nothing that I haven't told you ten times over the last year.

What I'm waiting for, Cheyenne, is for you to listen.

What I'm waiting for is you two to get it!

It's not like I'm trying to screw up my life on purpose, Mom.

Here's the thing, child. People don't have to try to screw up their lives.

Screwing up is easy. Some people have a gift for it.

The hard part is trying not to screw up.

Not to screw up. Got it.

Sit down.

You asked me a while ago what I was doing.

I was making macaroni and cheese. Do you know why?

Because it's Kyra's favorite meal.

And today I have to tell her that she's not gonna get to go to England.

Something she wants and deserves.

And I'm trying to make up for it by making her macaroni and cheese.

It's not fair!

[yells]

I'm sorry, Mom. I really am.

You still love me, right?

I will always love you, Cheyenne.

[clenched teeth] No matter what.

I'm afraid I'm making a big mistake by bailing you out all the time.

Maybe it'd be best if I just let you fall on your butt.

And if it wasn't for Elizabeth, I swear I would.

Oh, Mrs. H, we are gonna be more responsible. Okay?

We... We're gonna be adults from now on, starting today.

You'll see.

Mom has the keys.

We'll walk.

♪ I'm not a baby child And I look fresh dipped ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm all that and a bag of chips ♪

Mom, hi.

I was just listening to something.

Yeah, I heard. And you, young lady, have a very good voice.

Yeah, right. You can tell you don't know anything about music.

Well, it's about an hour before dinner, so I brought you some pinwheels.

They're your favorites, right?

- Yeah, they are. - Great.

Wait. Dinner's in an hour, yet you're letting me have cookies?

- Right. - Before dinner?

Don't tell Mom. Here, have a pinwheel.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Mmm, these are good. I can see why they're your favorites.

Mm-hmm.

From now on, they're officially my favorite too.

I'm nuts about these things.

I'm not gonna be able to go, am I?

No.

- Look, Kyra-- - Mom. Mom.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Look, sweetie, I'm sorry. I know you're very disappointed.

Yeah, I am, but I knew the money wasn't gonna come together.

See? It pays to be a pessimist.

But thanks for trying, Mom.

[chuckles]

Boy, it'd be nice if this could stop right here.

What do you mean?

Honey, the money did come together.

Then why can't I go?

I had to give the money to Cheyenne for summer session.

She dropped so many classes, she was gonna lose Elizabeth's day care.

- [scoffs] - I made macaroni and cheese.

Oh, come on, sweetie. Let it out.

I know you're mad. Don't keep mad inside.

I mean, you gotta let it out. It's like a sneeze.

No, I'm not mad. It's okay, Mom, I get it.

I know I always give Cheyenne a hard time.

You know, because it's so easy.

But I sort of feel bad for her, you know?

She had this great life going,

and now there's a really tough road ahead of her.

But it's not fair to you.

It's life. And whoever said life was fair, right?

Oh, honey.

No, life isn't fair.

Things that shouldn't come up, come up.

And people who deserve to get things, don't get 'em.

And people who shouldn't buy houses, buy 'em.

You know what else?

Most of the kids going on that trip are geeks anyway.

[quietly] Oh, boy.

[B.J.] Reba!

Hey! I can see you from this bathroom too.

Well-- Oh! [grunts]

Hey there, homeowner.

I don't believe I heard a knock.

What? Are you kiddin'?

You pop into my house uninvited anytime you want,

and you have the nerve to say that to me?

I was jokin'.

So was I.

This place is cool, Dad.

Yeah, well, it'll look a lot better once we get all our furniture in.

You're gonna have furniture? What a waste.

[chuckles] Hey, Reba.

- Thanks for stopping by. - Yeah.

Yeah, but, uh, no housewarming gift?

Oh, wait a minute. Here you go.

Oh, matches?

Yeah, and they told me it's best to keep them in a big old pile of oily rags.

You just can't turn it off, can you, Phyllis Diller?

[laughing]

So, how'd it go with Kyra?

Well, it was actually kind of sweet.

I crushed her dream of going to England,

then I coughed up a cookie.

I guess some mothers just have a special way of doing things.

Yeah. You know, Kyra and I were having a rough time there for a while.

I think we turned a corner. I really think it's gonna be different now.

- Good. - Fancy house, Dad.

Oh, you like it?

Barbra Jean just around the corner from Mom?

- I love it. - Oh.

I know. Isn't it wonderful?

So, Reba, you want me to give you the five-cent tour?

- Do I get the special headphones? - No, I just talk.

Can I get the special headphones?

Oh, you are gonna be so jealous of my house.

Come on.

Look how clean my windows are.

Hey, honey, I'm sorry about your trip.

It's just the way things are.

You know, your mom told me that you handled the news really well.

She is so proud of you, and so am I.

Thanks.

I'll find a way to make this up to you, Kyra. I swear.

Actually, I already thought of a way.

I wanna move in with you and Barbra Jean.

[closing theme music playing]