All language subtitles for Reba.S02E18.And.the.Grammy.Goes.To.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

[doorbell rings]

Grammy's here! I get presents!

- Hi, Jakey.
- You're not a present.

Yeah, you're more like junk mail.

- Is Brock's mom here yet?
- Why? Are you scared?

'Cause you should be.

I'm just so nervous
about Grammy Liz's visit.

I mean, she's just so critical.

She's not critical. She's mean.

Junkyard dog mean.

Well, how'd you learn to deal with her?

I divorced Brock.
But don't take that. That's mine.

What are you doing?
You know she hates a mess.

Not as much as she hates
my old, ratty bathrobe.

But this is like pokin' her with a stick.

Then she's gonna get all riled up,

and then she's gonna come over
to my house.

Hey, put that back.

No, I'm cleaning up. If you're going down,

- you're going down alone, sister.
- Give me that back.

No, you'll never get it back.
I'm bigger than you.

- Give it to me.
- No.

Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy.

You have lost your mind.

Your fear of Brock's mom
has finally pushed you over the edge.

I want her to get mad.

I want her to make her
snide little comments

that I've had to put up
for the last 20 years.

- Oh.
- Ow.

See, I'm not related to her anymore.

Now when she comes in here and says,

"Gee, Reba, how long has your
vacuum cleaner been broken?"

I can say, "Shut up! That's how long."

[Reba laughs]

- [knocking at door]
- [whimpers]

[chuckles smugly]

All right. Pay attention.

You're gonna be wantin' to tell
this story one of these days.

Reba.

Grammy Liz.

You look wonderful!

Really?

I didn't do my hair,

and I've been wearing this old,
ratty bathrobe for a month.

Only you can pull it off.

Okay, then.

I've been so looking forward
to seein' everybody.

And then there's you.

How are you, Barbra Ann?

It's... It's good to see you,
Mom. [chuckles]

Mrs. Hart. [chuckles]

Ma'am.

And, uh, actually my name,
it's Barbra Jean.

Why'd you tell me it was Barbra Ann?

- Are you trying to make me look stupid?
- [gasps] I...

[gasping]

Sorry I didn't have time
to clean up for you.

- I hope you don't mind.
- I don't. I like the lived-in look.

Did I hug you yet? Come here.

[mouthing words]

My house is a pigsty.

Is she a well woman?

Reba, I don't understand it.

Why is she being nice to you
and still being mean to me?

I don't know. She's found
a way to treat you badly,

and make it unenjoyable for me.

- She's very good.
- Yeah.

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Ha, hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

What is it?

It's a dickey.

It's for when you want
the look of a turtleneck

without the extra heat.

Do I have to wear it?

Only while I'm in town.

Okay. But I'm not calling it a dickey.

[clears throat] You know, um,

I've always felt that the dickey
was an underappreciated garment.

You know what else is underappreciated?

The muzzle.

Now, this is for you, Kyra-nut.

Me?

What did I do?

I saw this in the window at Murphy's,

and I said to myself, "That is Kyra."

It's perfect. I'll wear it
Thursday to my bridge game.

Kyra, don't be rude.
Say thank you to Grammy.

Now, why would she do that, Barbra Lynn?

If she doesn't like it,
she doesn't like it.

You think it's a good idea
to teach children to be dishonest?

No.

So you prefer they be rude?

No.

I... [squeaking]

Boy, I wonder how long Reba's
vacuum cleaner's been broken.

[B.J. laughs]

Thanks, Grammy.

I'm gonna go see if Jake wants
to trade for his dickey.

- I made muffins.
- Ooh.

Hope they're not too overcooked.

Reba, those look horrible.

You must be the worst cook in the world.

Why do you let that woman
talk to you like that?

Because I value her opinion.
Her honest opinion.

Really? 'Cause usually you
just tell me to shut up.

Shut up, Barbra Jean.

Hello. We're back.

- [Cheyenne laughs]
- Oh. And you brought the baby.

- Yeah.
- Isn't she precious?

I can't believe you're
finally getting to meet her.

- Oh. She is perfect.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, it was my idea
to name her after you.

- Then why didn't you?
- [laughing]

What?

My given name is Eliza.
Liz is short for Eliza.

Well, yeah. That's her name.

Eliza... Beth.

Grammy, stop it. Van, she's lying to you.

- [Liz laughs]
- That's what she does.

Isn't she great?

Yeah. My grandma used to knit,
but, hey, lying's cool too.

What'd your parents think about
you naming your child after me?

Uh, don't know.

We don't really talk to my father anymore.
No biggie.

His dad thinks Van and I ruined his life

- by getting married.
- Dada. Da.

I guess in every marriage
there's that one in-law

that's critical and annoying
and emotionally dead.

Muffin?

[Elizabeth cries]

[indistinct]
It's time for Elizabeth to take a nap.

- Grammy, are you here for a while?
- All afternoon.

And then she gets to come stay with us.

[laughs]

Lucky, lucky us.

Van, take Eliza Beth upstairs.
I'm gonna go get a bottle.

All right. Come on, Grammy Jr.

[knocking at door]

- Mom!
- Hi, honey. Did you wipe your feet

before you came in?

[chuckles]
No, it's okay. My shoes are clean.

Is that back talk?

Now come here and give me a hug.

- [laughs] Oh, Mom.
- Oh.

- How the heck are you?
- Oh, I'm well, dear.

A little headache, of course,
with your wife being so loud.

Yeah, you know, I know.

My whole life I've been the gal
with the big booming voice.

Boom boom. That's me.

Hey, Boom Boom. Zip zip.

Mom, I can't wait for you to see Henry.

I told the sitter to let him
sleep an extra-long time

so he'll be in a good mood for you.

Oh, yes. I understand you have
a stranger taking care of him.

All right. Wait just a dad-blame minute.

You can say a lot of bad
things about Barbra Jean,

but she is not a bad mom.

Sure, she laughs like a horse

and doesn't have the sense God gave paste,

but she is a good mother.

- Are you through?
- Are you mad?

- Yes.
- Then I'm through.

I'm mad at myself.

- What?
- I crossed a line.

You are a good friend, Reba.

[huffing]

[grunting]

Something bothering you, Mom?

It's your grandmother.

Is she picking on you again?

Worse. She's being nice.

For 20 years that woman has tortured me,
and I couldn't fight back.

And now that I can,
she won't throw the first punch.

Hey, has she said anything
bad about me behind my back?

Why does she have to criticize you first?

Why don't you tell her how you feel?

Because then I'd be pickin' a fight.

Mom always said that was wrong.

I guess I'm gonna have to keep
chumming the waters till she strikes.

Isn't that picking a fight?

- You want a piece of me?
- No.

Look, Mom, I know this is weird.
I love Grammy Liz,

but I have no idea why you
put up with her for this long.

She may be an awful,
judgmental pain in the butt,

but she's a sweet old grandma to you kids.

I had to be nice
so she'd keep comin' around.

Bad news, Ma. You still gotta
be nice to her for Jake.

Are you kiddin'?
She gave the boy a dickey.

He's on my side.

Mom, did I tell you we got
a new dental chair for my office?

Not now, honey.

That's right, Brock.
We need to concentrate.

That's the key to this--
Oh, all right. Yeah, you got me.

You got me there.
But when I was younger, my older sister--

[laughs]

You know, when we played,
we used to say, "Go."

- You say what, hon?
- Go! Ahh!

Did I miss anything?

No, we were just talking
about my new dental chair.

Okay, Mom. Barbra Jean and I have to go.

We gotta get the babysitter.

Lucky for you.

Because I was just about
to make my big come--

I'm sorry, Barbra Jean.

I promise I'll make it up to you.

Okay, Mom. I'll be back
to pick you up for dinner.

Well, it looks like
it's just the two of us.

I have missed you.

- What's wrong with you?
- What?

What's wrong with you?

Why have you suddenly started likin' me?

- I've always liked you.
- [scoffs]

You ran over my foot once.

Oh, I was teasin'.

Like you were teasin'
Barbra Jean just now?

I don't wanna talk about her.

She's not gonna be around
that much longer anyway.

What are you talking about?

What would you say if I told you
Brock was in love with somebody else?

You mean other than himself?

I'm serious. He told me.

I'd say I don't believe
in spreadin' gossip.

So after you give me the name,
it all stops here.

He's in love with you.

[laughs] What?

You're saying Brock's...

How... What?

The person he is in love with is you.

She's very, very good.

Brock's not still in love with me.

What's your game, old lady?

It's not a game. My gosh, Reba.

You must've suspected.

Oh, yeah, you're right.
I knew he was still in love with me

when he came over
and showed me his new baby.

Nevertheless,

you two have the best divorce
of any couple I know.

Oh, yeah. It's the kind
little girls dream of.

In case you hadn't noticed,
Brock is married to Barbra Jean.

He would leave her for you
in a red hot second.

I will not be the other woman
to the other woman.

That's just weird.

When you two separated,

it wasn't because you
didn't love each other.

It's 'cause Brock was
having a midlife crisis.

He was vulnerable,

and that's when he was
stolen away by Barbra Ella.

He wants you back, Reba.

[chuckles]

There is no chance of that ever happening.

Not even if hell froze over,

thawed, froze over again,
thawed, froze ov...

Do you get my point?

Okay, you're a little overwhelmed.

I'm gonna give you some time
to think about it.

I don't need time.

Turn your hearing aid up for this one.
No chance!

Reba, don't you think it was a mistake
for Brock to marry Barbra Jim?

It doesn't matter what I think.

Brock married her. He must love her.

Do you think that Brock
is basically a sane person?

I don't know. Does sanity come
from the father or the mother?

Answer the question.

Yes, I think basically he's sane.

Okay. Listen close.

Would any sane person
choose that woman over you?

Honey. What are you doin'?

Oh, just writin' in my training journal.

Then I bet you that this will feel good.

Aah, that is it right there.

- [chuckles] Yeah.
- A little bit left.

- Okay.
- Up, up, up.

- There it is. The head.
- Oh.

Aah, the head is good.

Van, I think that we should
make peace with your dad.

Stop!

Cheyenne, you can't rub a guy's head

and then start talking about his dad.

Van... it's time that you
end this thing with him.

My mom put up with Grammy Liz
for 18 years because of me.

I think we should do
the same for Elizabeth.

Yeah, but this is different.
Grammy Liz didn't disown your mom

because she threw her
life away on some cheerleader.

He said I was a cheerleader?
I was on drill team.

- Would it kill him to know the difference?
- Good.

Good, good.
You're getting mad at him again.

No, no. I'm just really sick of people
not giving me credit for my work.

Van, I know your dad hurt you.

Whoa, whoa. [chuckles]

He didn't hurt me.

You can't hurt steel.

Okay, first, fix your hair,

'cause everything I tell you,
it looks like you're surprised.

- And he did hurt you.
- Fine, he hurt me. So what?

I swallowed that hurt,
just like I swallow everything else.

All that pain is just
sittin' in my stomach,

like a big black ball of rage and anger.

They don't have a Rolaids
for that, Cheyenne.

Van, you are big enough of a person

to get over what he did to you.

Right. To me.

But I don't know
if I'm a big enough person

to get over what he did
to you and Elizabeth.

We'd be doing this for Elizabeth.

Look, we cannot let this big
black anger-ball

get in the way of Elizabeth's happiness.

But that's what parents do.

They get in the way
of their child's happiness.

That way the kids have someone
to blame their problems on.

- We're doing her a favor.
- Van...

You know deep down inside that Elizabeth

should have a relationship
with her grandparents.

All of her grandparents.

- This is a lot to think about, Cheyenne.
- Mmm.

- And you know I hate to think a lot.
- I know.

[murmurs]

[knocking at door]

Hey, Reba. Where's my mother?

Don't worry about that. We need to talk.

No, we don't. Not with that tone of voice.

Sit down, Brock.

- You want somethin' to drink?
- No, thanks.

You sure?

Don't make a snap decision
you might regret.

For once in your life, think long-term.

Think about the future.

Well, I was only gonna stay a minute,
but I guess I could go a Snapple.

I can give you a Snapple, Brock,

but that's all I can give you.

Do you understand what I'm sayin'?

If you only have the one, I'll pass.

Your mother told me your secret.

Oh. [chuckles]

Uh, which... which, which one?

The big one.

The one where you said
you're still in love with me.

[chuckles] Did she now?

Yeah.

My mother. God rest her soul.

- Brock, it's over.
- Reba--

Look, I understand you're a man.

You're weak. Did you cry
when you finally let it out?

Yeah, okay. Okay. I did say I loved you,

but that was two years ago,
during the divorce,

and as a person I share a history with,
as the mother of my children.

Not the way I love Barbra Jean.

Do you get the difference?

Never mind, then. So, you want a Snapple?

Just hold on a second.

So, you've been sittin' here

thinking that I'm, like, what,

madly in love with you?

Nobody ever mentioned "madly," Brock.
That never came up.

It will when I tell the story.

[laughs]

It was great seein' you all.

Next time you have to come to my house.
There's too much drama around here.

Bye, Grammy. Thanks again for the bib.

You're welcome, honey.

Kyra, why is he wearing it like that?

I told him to.
I consider it your real gift to me.

- Bye, honey.
- Bye, Grammy.

- And Cheyenne.
- [chuckles]

I can't tell you how much it meant to me

that you named Elizabeth after me.

Well, we actually didn't
name Elizabeth after you.

Van wanted to name her Elizabeth
so she'd be Elizabeth Montgomery.

You know, after that
cool lady on Bewitched.

Okay, Mom. Time to go.

I want a minute to talk to Reba.

I don't like it when you talk to Reba.

It's never good when you talk to Reba.

Don't make me come over there.

Treats me like I'm five.

I'm not five. I'm way more than five.

Reba... I wasn't trying to cause problems.

I was trying to make up for some
of the ones I caused in the past.

I guess I've always
felt partly responsible

for you and Brock breaking up.

Don't give yourself too much credit.

I do blame you for a lot of things.

Hurricanes, tornadoes, discos.

That sort of thing. But not
breaking up my marriage.

All marriages go through some hard times.

I guess I was just worried that

my criticism might have
driven a wedge between you.

So, this guilt thing's really buggin' you.

I could learn to enjoy that.

I just wanted what I thought
was best for my son.

What's best for him is for you
to quit interfering in his life.

He's a big boy now. He's not five.

He's way more than five.

Thank you for your advice.

You've always been good with advice.

Guess that's the benefit
of making so many mistakes.

All right. All right.

Let's go.

About time somebody put you in your place.

Gotta warn you though.

I'm a little quicker than Barbra J--

[grunts]

She's very good.

[sighs]

Hey.

[closing theme music playing]