All language subtitles for Reba.S02E14.Seeing.Red.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

Hey, we should put our
handprints in that before it sets.

I'm trying to get back
in football shape,

and this is a high-protein breakfast food

that's supposed to feed
my body and my mind.

It's just an expression.
Don't make fun of me.

Oh. I guess you started without me.

Oh, sorry. Want some of my diet food?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothin'.

But, since I'm gettin'
in shape for football,

it'd be cool if we did it together.

What are you doing?
Are you measuring my waist?

What? No. Why would you say that?

I barely got my arms around you.

What?

I meant I barely got my
arms around you

before you pushed me away.

Well, I am sorry if I had a baby,
and I'm wrecked forever.

But you-- You're not exactly
Mr. Perfect either.

Okay? So, why don't you take care
of yourself, you big tub of goo?

- What's that all about?
- Van called Cheyenne fat.

- Van.
- I did not.

All I did was ask her if she wanted
to go on the diet with me.

And I didn't mean just her.
I think the whole family should try it.

What's that supposed to mean?

Yeah, Van.
What's that supposed to mean?

We need more boys in this house.

He is so wrong.
You know what we do need?

Cell phones.

Kyra, you are not gettin' a cell phone.

Why not?

'Cause you're 13, you don't need
one, they're too expensive,

kids with cell phones
are obnoxious, and life is not fair.

That about wraps it up.

Dad said it's okay. And Barbra Jean
thinks it's a good idea.

Whoa. You are out of arguments
since you're quotin' Barbra Jean.

I hate it here.

Me too. Who should we call about that?

[stomping]

[Reba] Ha, hey!

♪ My roots are planted
In the past ♪

♪ Though my life
Is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who
I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom
Who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids
And never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart
Of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Jake.

How you doing?
How was school?

Timmy Logan got hit in the face
with a ball. It was great.

Jake. It's not funny
when somebody gets hurt.

Oh, you mean Timmy Logan,
the bully that ripped your sweater?

- Yep.
- Ha, ha!

Hope it was a basketball.

I also got homework.

I'm supposed to interview
someone I admire for class.

Oh. All righty then.

I'm ready.

I was born
in McAlester, Oklahoma.

The year's not important, okay?
And--

No. Mom, I want to interview Kyra.

Kyra? Kyra, your sister?

- That Kyra?
- Hey, Kyra.

- Can I interview you?
- Buzz off.

Maybe I'll interview Cheyenne.

- So, how are you?
- Mmm.

Guess what? Jake's gonna be
over at your dad's tonight,

so it's just you and me.

I said, "Mmm."

Oh, come on. Let's go to
that '50s diner...

where all the waitresses
are in their 50s.

[laughs]

Ha, ha.

Kyra, are you still angry
about the cell phone?

You can't get mad at me
every time I tell you no.

Sure I can.

There's gotta be a way
for you and me to get along.

I mean, I'm tired of constantly
fighting over the little things.

Well, what do you
want me to do, Mom?

Pretend I'm all happy?

Attagirl. Let's try that.

I'll call the restaurant.

Forget it.

I'd rather eat dirt.

I can see why you want to
spend time with her.

Give me a glimmer of hope.

Please remind me
that you hated my guts once too.

You bet I did.

And I pulled away too.
But I came back.

Yeah, because
you had a baby.

I might not get
that lucky with Kyra.

- [knocking]
- Oh, good. You're here.

Listen, I need your help
with Barbra Jean.

Brock, I'm having a hard day here.

I don't have time to deal with her.

Look, when she comes in,
you've gotta tell her she looks terrible.

Okay. I could use a pick-me-up.

Mom, no. Whatever happened to

"If you can't say something nice,
don't say anything at all"?

Whoa.

- What is it?
- Well, I've just never seen--

I mean, you just--
Dang, I wish I had my camera.

You know, she's been
like this all week.

She hasn't washed her hair.
She hasn't put on any makeup.

She hasn't even opened
that big toolbox she keeps it all in.

What does it matter?
Henry's the only one I see all day.

He doesn't care
if I look like Sasquatch.

That's who you look like!

Remember when you were a kid?

There was that house you were
always afraid to walk by.

- Yeah.
- We're that house now.

Look, Barbra Jean.
A lot of new mothers...

go through what
you're going through.

I did.

I just didn't throw in
the towel on hygiene.

In fact, I treated myself
to a day at the spa

while Brock watched the kids.

- I could do that.
- Yeah.

- I could get a makeover.
- Oh, honey. That's a great idea.

I'll take care of Henry,
and you go clean up.

Uh, you know, pretty up.

Whatever. Just-- Just get up.

Oh, Reba. This is so excitin'.
Do you wanna come with me?

[laughs] You mean, hang out with you

and go get our hair and nails
done and do all that girl talk thing?

- Yeah!
- No.

Okay. Well, then, how about Cheyenne?

Maybe she'd like to get a makeover.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No way.

Cheyenne's real sensitive
about the way she looks right now.

And I don't know why because
she's perfect the way she is!

[laughs]

- Well, what about Kyra?
- I don't suggest asking Kyra anything.

Ask me what?

Kyra, you wanna get
a makeover with me?

Did you already get one?

- No.
- Sure. Why not?

Great. Then maybe afterwards
we can grab some dinner.

Yeah. I know this great place.
It's right next to a cell phone store.

Kyra.

I don't think cell phones
are a good idea for kids.

What? That's not what
you said before.

I changed my mind.

People with cell phones always
ignore the people they're with.

Think of your friends who have them.

Don't you find them a little annoying?

Yeah. I guess you're right.
Okay. Let's go.

I don't believe it. You said no,
and there was no argument.

Well, of course not. Who could
argue with that sweet child?

Sweet?

Hey, honey. What are you doin'?

Me? Me? Nothin'.

Why would I be doing anything?
Doing things is for jerks.

Look. Honey, I came here
to apologize.

I was being overly sensitive
this morning,

and I was feeling bad, and I took it
out on you, and I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

I know you feel bad
about yourself sometimes.

- What?
- Nothing. Let's just hug.

Why would I feel bad
about myself, Van?

You shouldn't. And that's exactly
what I told everyone earlier.

Everybody thinks that I should
feel bad about myself?

They think you should, like,
take the day off

and do some spa makeover
thing with Barbra Jean.

And I said, "No way."
Just like that. "No way."

Oh. So you're punishing me
because I'm fat?

What? No, I would never
do that. Not that you are.

Oh, really? So even though

I take care of your baby
and go to school

and help out
taking care of the house,

you think that I don't need
a day at the spa?

I think that

you need to tell me...

what I need to say
to get out of this.

Hey, Mom. We're back.

Why are you smiling?
You don't smile.

I had a wonderful day.

- Did you get a cell phone?
- No.

But if I did, I would call my friends
because they'd want to see this.

What are you talking about?

Oh, it'll just be a second.

And for the record,
I had nothing to do with it.

Sometimes the magic
just happens.

Well?

What do you think, huh?
Is it me?

No. It's me!

The ladies at the spa suggested that
if I wanted to shake up my life a little,

I should change my look, and--
[screams]

Couldn't you just get
an eye patch and a parrot?

Van, I just thought of two other
things I'm mad at you for.

Hey, Cheyenne.

Reba, this doesn't bother you,
does it? Us having the same hair?

We do not have the same hair.

Yours came out of a bottle,
and mine's almost all natural.

Hey. We're back, Reba--

Oh, boy.

Cool! It's like Mom

and supersized Mom.

Hey, Kyra, honey.

Why don't you take your
little brother upstairs and hide?

Come on, Jake. We'll go dye your
hair red. Everybody's doing it.

Brock, does this mean you don't
find my hair attractive?

I don't know.

The only time I've seen
that hairstyle, it's been yellin' at me.

Wait. Let's be perfectly clear.

The color is stunning.

- It's everything else that's freaky!
- Oh, now, Reba--

No, Brock. Of all the freaky things
she's done, this is the freakiest.

Well, I just wanted to try
somethin' different. It's my hair!

The only thing different
is you're underneath it!

Hey, you know what? I-- I don't think
it's really all that similar.

Are you kidding? It's like looking
in a carnival mirror.

- Reba, just calm down.
- I am not gonna calm down!

I don't want her anywhere
near my house or my kids.

- She's banned.
- Oh, you can't be serious.

I can't trust her judgement anymore.
Who knows what else she's gonna do?

Worse than banned. She's banished.

Hey, you think
now that I'm a redhead

I'll get all fiery and hot-tempered too?

Oh, that's it!

- [yelling]
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- Yeah! Just like that.
- [continues yelling]

Oh, yeah.
That is what I'm talkin' about.

Those fiery redheads just gettin' up
in everybody's Kool-Aid.

[TV clicks on]

How's it goin'?

Good. Good.

Good.

You're just gonna pretend
you don't notice anything different?

- That was my plan.
- Okay.

Brock, dad-blam it! This is just wrong.

She's tryin' to steal my whole identity.

I mean, she dresses like me,
she got my hair.

Good thing I don't have a accent,
or she'd try to steal that too.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

I mean, she stole me from you,
and you didn't get half this mad.

I lived with you for 20 years.

I should have sent the girl
a basket of muffins.

Reba, I'm sure that
if you ask Barbra Jean,

she'd be more than happy
to change her hair back.

Oh, I'm sure she would,

'cause she's so accommodating
and easy to get along with.

Which is why Kyra likes her
so much better than she likes me.

- What?
- Oh, yeah.

I tell Kyra no,
and it's World War III.

Barbra Jean says no, and they go
skippin' off to the mall for a makeover.

Kyra can't stand me.

And guess who's right
there to step in. Big Red!

What are you saying?
You're jealous of Barbra Jean?

Yes! I'm jealous of Barbra Jean.

I'm jealous of Barbra Jean.
There, I said it.

[moaning]

Reba, all mothers and daughters
have friction. It's totally natural.

Yeah. But not all daughters
have someplace else to go.

What if she gets sick
and tired of me telling her no,

and she decides that she
wants to go live with y'all?

Well, she'd never do that.

You got the big TV in the divorce.

I'm serious, Brock.

What would you say if she asked
to come live with you?

I don't know.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
that you were eating.

I'll come back later
so I don't disgust you.

Wait, Cheyenne. You look
great, and I can prove it.

See? Look at this chart.
Here's your height.

You should be 105.

- I'm fat!
- No, wait! No!

No, no, no. I read--
I read the wrong box.

You should be 205. 205.

Y-You're skinny. You're sick.

Here. Eat a doughnut.

Why are you doing this
to me, Van?

- Why am I doing this to you?
- Yeah.

Why am I doing this to you?

[cries]

[screams]

Cheyenne, please,
tell me what I did wrong.

I'll fix it. I swear.

If you're waiting for me
to figure it out,

we both know
how long that could take.

It was this morning,
and I was getting out of the shower,

and I was naked,
and I told you not to look.

- I didn't. I swear I didn't.
- I know.

- Then what is the problem?
- You always used to look.

What?

You'd turn away, but then...

but then you'd, you know,
look in the mirror,

or pretend you didn't
hear me or something

anything to sneak a peek.

It was like this really,
really cute perverted thing

that you used to do, and then,

this morning you just...
you didn't look.

Well, I'm sorry, Cheyenne.
I can be a pervert. I swear.

Van, I don't want you
to have to try.

Don't you find me sexy anymore?

- Of course I do.
- Do you?

Honey, there are times when I can
barely keep my hands off you.

Like just after you've exercised and

your skin's all pink,
and you've got this glow about you.

That's not what I'm talking about, Van.

- Yes, you are!
- No. No, no, no.

I know why you used to look at me.

But why is it that all of a sudden you
just didn't want to look this morning?

Because Elizabeth was waking up.

What?

Elizabeth was waking up,
I wanted to finish brushing my teeth,

but I thought I heard her cry.

And all that distracted me
from your nakedness.

I just need to focus.

- I guess that's a good reason.
- Honey.

Yeah, we still got the hots
for each other.

Come here. But w--

We got something more too.
Somethin' better.

We've got a life together.

Van.

So you really like the way
I look after I work out?

Oh, yeah.

You should do it more often.

No, no, no, no.

It's okay. I was just--

- Kyra, I want to talk to you.
- Oh, boy.

No, this is a good talk.

This is a talk where I say
I've thought it over,

and I've decided to let you
get a cell phone.

- Really?
- Yes, but there are some conditions.

You have to pay for it
out of your babysitting money.

I get to see the bills, 'cause I wanna
know who you're talking to.

And you can't use it at school,
at dinner or in the car.

So I can use it here in the
living room next to the phone.

Look, I'm trying to
meet you halfway on this.

No, you're not.
You're trying to make it

so you can still say no
but feel good about yourself.

Forget it.
I don't even want a phone.

I say no, and you get mad.
I say yes, and you get mad.

And I'm the one who's unreasonable?

I can't talk to you
when you get like this.

- Don't you walk away from me.
- [knocking]

Hello, Reba.

Barbra Jean.

Why are you wearin' that?
Air escapin'?

I think there's some things
we should talk about.

- Come in.
- Oh, I would, but I'm banned.

Oh, just get in here.

I dyed my hair back.

You'll be happy to know
what little didn't fall out is pink.

Well, why did you dye your hair
like mine in the first place?

You had to think there was a chance
it would bother me.

I thought you'd be flattered.

I mean, if you did
something to look like me, I--

I'd consider it a compliment.

I'd consider it Halloween.

Look, Barbra Jean. I'm sorry.

There's just been a lot
goin' on around here.

I know. Brock told me about
you being jealous of me.

I got all emotional.

Got lightheaded.
I think there was a gas leak.

Nevertheless, if you're jealous,

we should talk about
the jealousy you feel for me.

And that way your jealousy
won't come between us.

- Jealousy can really--
- All right. Just stop sayin' that.

There is something you can do
to make me feel better.

Anything.

Maybe you could spend
a little less time with Kyra.

- Except that.
- I knew it!

You're doin' this on purpose.
You want her to like you.

Yes. I'm evil. I want to be liked
by children everywhere.

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I do, and you're wrong.

I want her to like me because I like her.

She's important to me.

But that shouldn't be a threat to you.

Oh, yeah, right.

Reba, do you know who she talks
about all the time when we're together?

You. It's "Mom" this
and "Mom" that.

I mean, sure, she's mostly
complaining, but--

It's because
you're the important one in her life.

See, I'm just her friend.

You're her mother.

And that's the best
worst job in the world.

- Thank you, Barbra Jean.
- We should hug.

Okay, but I wanna see
the pink hair.

- Hug first.
- Hair first.

- [yells]
- You big cheater!

Acme! [coughing]