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1
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,674
Okay, Louise. That's everything.
2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,343
You're ready to take over. Now, remember,
3
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,595
you don't have to be as good as I was,
4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,514
just better than Reba was.
5
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,566
{\an8}- Lookin' for anything in particular?
- No.
6
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:29,612
{\an8}Just, you know-- When employees
steal office supplies, we all pay.
7
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:32,157
{\an8}Who pays when they steal husbands?
8
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,162
{\an8}Go ahead. Take a stapler.
9
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,998
{\an8}Here you go, Reba.
10
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,500
{\an8}I wrote you a great letter
of recommendation.
11
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,252
{\an8}Basically, I lied.
12
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,755
{\an8}I wasn't that bad.
13
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,215
{\an8}Really? Because the truth
would sound like,
14
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,384
{\an8}"Reba worked here
for three days, then quit,
15
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,928
{\an8}forcing me to hire
someone else at twice the pay."
16
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,097
Hey, I might've stayed for twice the pay.
17
00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,559
Nah.
18
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:07,317
Hi, Brock. Cheat at golf lately?
19
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:09,944
Hello, Eugene.
20
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:14,157
Gee, I guess a stack of malpractice
suits will make a guy hostile.
21
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:17,827
Hi, Dr. Fisher.
22
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,371
Did you come over to borrow
a cup of Novocain?
23
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:30,048
I just found out
that my Louise is now working for you.
24
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,718
- Poacher!
- Don't worry. You'll find someone.
25
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:38,181
You know, there are a lot of people who
want to work for a moron with bad breath.
26
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,518
Yeah, I just had a job like that.
27
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:45,939
Say, I'd be perfect
to replace your Louise.
28
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,440
- Reba.
- So are you available?
29
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,025
- Eugene.
- Yes, I am.
30
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:50,568
- Reba.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
31
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:54,531
- Eugene!
- Game, set, match!
32
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,951
[sighs]
33
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,037
Look, Brock, I know you
and Eugene have some problems,
34
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,499
and maybe my workin' over there
will make you uncomfortable.
35
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,667
[scoffs]
36
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:11,089
But you gotta understand.
For me, it's gonna be a hoot. [chuckles]
37
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,177
[Reba] Ha, hey!
38
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,848
♪ Who I am is who I wanna be ♪
39
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,893
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
40
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,944
Okay. Just so we're all clear on this,
41
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,697
{\an8}I'll be home at 5:30
and take over from Mrs. Wolf.
42
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,824
{\an8}And we're going to have a grand time.
43
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,995
{\an8}- We can bake homemade bread.
- Cool!
44
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,873
{\an8}And maybe later, Kyra,
we could braid your hair.
45
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,334
{\an8}Braids. I'll be the envy
of every girl in the village.
46
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:58,720
{\an8}Oh, it's going to be fun. I've got a box
of sugar cubes in the car.
47
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,763
{\an8}- We can make an igloo.
- Oh, wow.
48
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:07,228
{\an8}"The car"? I wouldn't let her
operate the dishwasher.
49
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,065
{\an8}Seriously, Mom, anybody
would be better than her.
50
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,775
{\an8}Van would be better than her.
51
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,321
{\an8}Can't you quit your stupid groundskeeping
job and stay home with us?
52
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:20,366
{\an8}Not on my second day. Especially
since I called in sick yesterday.
53
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,203
{\an8}Wouldn't be fair to my crew.
54
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,081
{\an8}My man is on a crew.
55
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,044
{\an8}Oh, this is so cool.
He's workin' at the university.
56
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,211
{\an8}He has benefits.
57
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,964
{\an8}Plus, you look so hot in that uniform.
58
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,508
{\an8}Well, hey, it's not just about
makin' the grass look good,
59
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:38,927
{\an8}know what I mean?
60
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,850
{\an8}Okay, kids. I know this
isn't a dream come true for any of us,
61
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,477
but I got a job now,
62
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,521
and your job is to pull together
and help me through it, okay?
63
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:51,940
Right, team?
64
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,859
Ha-ha! That's the spirit!
65
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,155
See you later!
Oh, and don't hurt the old lady.
66
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,043
Excuse me, muscular gardener.
67
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:17,298
Yes, attractive young coed?
68
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:22,053
I was just wondering if you knew
where the physical education building was.
69
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,554
Oh, where is that building?
70
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,808
Because I wanted to
take a hot, steamy shower.
71
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,436
Okay. We better stop now.
72
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,147
This is so cool, Van.
73
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,402
- Who's the babe?
- Hey, calm down, boy.
74
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,321
This is my wife, Cheyenne.
Honey, this is Oscar.
75
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,906
Oh, hi, Oscar.
76
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,910
Oh, some friends that I met want us
to go to this concert on Saturday night.
77
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,246
Oh, the Van's all booked. Tell her.
78
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,749
Yeah. Oscar's havin' a barbecue Saturday
at his place, and I already said we'd go.
79
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,584
Um, excuse me.
80
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:57,005
Could I just talk to my husband
for a second, Oscar?
81
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,466
We are not going to that party with Oscar.
82
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,804
Oscar's cool.
Besides, this is a work thing.
83
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,806
All right? My boss is gonna be there.
84
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,683
These guys are like a big fraternity.
85
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,811
They call themselves the Grass Monkeys.
86
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,980
I wanna be a part of that.
87
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,026
But, Van, this job is just temporary.
88
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:21,195
I mean, the friends that we make
in college will be our friends forever.
89
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,114
Sorry, but I'm goin' to the party.
90
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,366
Well, sorry, but I'm
gonna go to the concert.
91
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,702
What the hell is this? An impasse?
92
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:31,122
- What?
- You heard me, college student.
93
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,166
Oh, yeah. You're right. I did.
94
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,500
- Good.
- Good.
95
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,335
Have fun hanging out
with the Grass Turkeys.
96
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,921
It's Grass Monkeys!
97
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,219
Hey, Kyra.
98
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,680
Man, am I beat.
99
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,267
Mrs. Wolf, I'm back!
100
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,479
Mrs. Wolf?
101
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,106
You'll have to yell louder
than that. She went home.
102
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,649
What did you do to her?
103
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,569
I didn't do anything.
She didn't feel well.
104
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,529
I think she's got a bad case of "old."
105
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,034
You mean you kids have been here
all afternoon alone?
106
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:08,951
I wish.
107
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,747
Hello there, workin' girl!
108
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,710
Hello there, why-are-you-here girl!
109
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,465
Hang on now. Mrs. Wolf
had a little tummy trouble,
110
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,842
and she accidentally hit our number
on the speed dial,
111
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,636
somewhere between "up" and "chuck."
112
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,056
So you've been here all day...
113
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,725
touchin' my stuff?
114
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:35,978
[chuckles awkwardly]
115
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,147
You know, I don't know
if I'm really comfortable
116
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,274
with you bein' here when I'm not.
117
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,944
- Where's the tea?
- Mm-mm-mm.
118
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:48,491
I moved your tea
to the canister marked "tea."
119
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:54,497
See, it's right here near the stove,
next to the teapot,
120
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,791
which I moved
from that cupboard over here.
121
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,419
And I consolidated your mugs
into the same area.
122
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,799
It creates, what I like
to call, a tea triangle.
123
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,184
Barbra Jean, it's not that I don't
appreciate what you're doin',
124
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,102
but I really--
125
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,353
Oh, my gosh. What's that?
126
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,732
Just a little ol' chicken casserole.
127
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,902
You know, I know Brock likes
a hot meal on the table
128
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,697
when he comes home from work, so sit, sit.
129
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,240
Jake, dinner!
130
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:37,832
Well, I guess since it's already cooked
and everything...
131
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:43,045
You know what? Just let me get this
served, and I'll get out of your hair.
132
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,548
- Thank you, Barbra Jean.
- [chuckles]
133
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,759
Did you see the tea triangle?
134
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,482
- ♪ I'm a survivor ♪
- [vacuum whirring]
135
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,321
- [vacuum cuts out]
- There's my workin' girl.
136
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,823
You know, that's really growin' on me.
137
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,326
I gotta tell ya.
The first time I heard it,
138
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,369
I wanted to stick my head in the oven.
139
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,165
There's no room,
'cause I'm making pot roast.
140
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,835
Whoo! I thought
I smelled a reason to keep you.
141
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,299
- Kids okay?
- They're upstairs doin' homework,
142
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,467
happy as clams.
143
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,137
[sighs] How can you tell if a clam
is happy, anyway?
144
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,514
I don't know,
145
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,891
but clam chowder tomorrow night
might make me happy.
146
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,770
- Hint taken.
- [clicks tongue]
147
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,775
Here's your paper.
Oh, and Mrs. Wolf called.
148
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,735
Oh, she's not doin' better, is she?
149
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,656
No, no. She's gonna be
out for a while longer.
150
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,615
Oh-ho.
151
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,159
[sighs]
152
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,829
So, how was work?
153
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,251
- Eugene was in a mood.
- Oh.
154
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,044
This little girl
he was workin' on bit him.
155
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:05,962
[gasps]
156
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,799
But I took care of it.
I referred her over to Brock.
157
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,224
Oh, well,
Brock has enough problems with Louise.
158
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,852
Oh, I shouldn't gossip.
[singsong] Erase, erase, erase!
159
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,314
No, no, no, no.
160
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,984
If anyone deserves a laugh
at Brock, it's me. Go on.
161
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,860
Well, word has it
162
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:34,407
that Louise is a little too friendly
with the laughing gas.
163
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:38,619
She put a huge scratch
in the door of Brock's Lexus.
164
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,871
- [gasps] I'll bet he cried.
- Oh.
165
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,748
Did he cry like a little girl?
166
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,668
Well, not tears, really.
167
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,254
More like whimpers.
[whimpering like puppy]
168
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,507
- Hey.
- [both laughing]
169
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,434
- Hey, what are you guys laughin' about?
- Nothin'.
170
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,644
- No.
- Just a little girl talk.
171
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,898
Hey, Barbra Jean,
are you ever comin' home?
172
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,071
Well, sure. Just as soon as
I get dinner on the table.
173
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:17,450
- Oh, perfect. I'm starvin'.
- Oh, there's not enough for you.
174
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,243
[whimpers]
175
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,954
You haven't made dinner for me all week.
176
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,415
You've been over here slavin' for her.
177
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,834
You can't expect her to work
all day for me
178
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,003
and then come
home and work for you, can you?
179
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,675
Come on! I'm sick of takeout.
180
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,887
The guy at the Chinese place
thinks I'm gettin' divorced again.
181
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:43,392
All right. Relax. We'll grab some chicken
at Wimpy's drive-through.
182
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:48,064
Now, Reba, after the pot roast,
there's apple pie.
183
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,231
Apple pie!
184
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,527
And you just leave the dishes.
I'll get 'em tomorrow.
185
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,281
I'm startin' to see
why you left me for her.
186
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,829
Sure. You're happy.
You're the one with the new wife.
187
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,501
It's always great at the beginning, Reba.
188
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:14,173
I'll be out in the car,
thinkin' about apple pie.
189
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,428
I gotta tell you.
This has been great for me and the kids.
190
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,431
I can't believe how well
it all turned out.
191
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,183
Say, would you top me off there?
192
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,896
I'm so relieved. I was worried
I might be steppin' on your toes.
193
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,315
Hey, you can step on anything you want to,
194
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,609
as long as you're
steppin' towards the oven.
195
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:39,949
I can't believe I'm sayin' this,
but I'm glad you're here.
196
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:40,866
Thanks, Reba.
197
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:45,996
Well, I'd better get goin'.
Bye, Kyra! Bye, Jakey.
198
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,415
Bye, Mommy!
199
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,134
He called me "Mommy."
200
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:02,388
[gasps] Pinch me, Reba.
I think I'm dreamin'.
201
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:03,848
Ow.
202
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,236
- What?
- What?
203
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:21,031
I thought I heard somebody say "Mommy,"
and that's why I answered.
204
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:25,536
'Cause that's who I am.
I'm the mommy. Right?
205
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,037
I'm done!
206
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:32,168
Mom, chill. So he called Barbra Jean
"Mommy." What's the big deal? It's Jake.
207
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,087
Nobody said anything
when he called me "Caca" for two years.
208
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,382
Don't tell me to chill, Caca.
209
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,636
Well, you have to deal with this,
because our other mommy,
210
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,181
the loud one,
is gonna be back later today.
211
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:49,101
[chuckles] No, she's not. I called her
and told her I wouldn't need her anymore.
212
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,021
- So you lied.
- Don't worry about what I did.
213
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:55,065
Just pretend she got
sucked into the tea triangle.
214
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,237
- So you got someone else to watch us.
- Nope.
215
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:04,200
- Cool. I'll be at the pool hall.
- No. You'll be at your friend Marla's.
216
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,285
- What about Jake?
- Don't you worry about Jake.
217
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,163
I have something very special
planned for him.
218
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,540
Okay, Mr. Snyder. I'll see you tomorrow
219
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,668
at 10:00, and we'll
start scrapin' those gums. Okay.
220
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:18,547
- [sighs] Isn't this fun?
- I'm bored.
221
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,133
Well, let's see if
we have something to play with.
222
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,721
Oh, here's some dental floss,
paper clips... and a pencil.
223
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,182
Wait a minute.
224
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:32,728
Is this a pencil, or is it a rocket ship?
225
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,397
[imitates rocket roaring]
226
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,653
- Hello, Doctor.
- Who's this?
227
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,862
Oh, this is my son, Jake.
228
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,697
He's gonna stay with me
for a little while.
229
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,116
Jake, there might be some
fun stuff under the cushions.
230
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,660
Okay!
231
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:52,373
Reba, did I show you where I keep all
the toys and crayons and paste?
232
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,208
- Oh, I didn't know we had any.
- We must!
233
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,877
If we're gonna run a day care center,
we have to have paste!
234
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:02,258
But if we're gonna run a dentist office,
we should have fewer of your kinfolk.
235
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:07,137
Oh, whoa, whoa. Wait. Why do women have to
choose between their work and their kids?
236
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,932
Why can't they work and be with
their kids at the same time?
237
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,102
- And maybe we can fight crime!
- Oh, oh, wait.
238
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,855
Can't we just give it a try?
It'd really bug Brock.
239
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,234
If your son is here and
you're dealing with him,
240
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,403
that means you'll be neglecting your work.
241
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,614
And that's bad. If your son is here
and you're not dealing with him,
242
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,492
that means you'll be neglecting your son,
and that is also bad.
243
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,412
This is what we refer to
as a bad situation.
244
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:35,082
Hey, Reba, Dr. Fisher.
245
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:40,838
- Barbra Jean, what are you doing here?
- To see the rocket take off?
246
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,551
I was just visitin' Brock.
Why is Jake here?
247
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,346
Look, if you need someone to watch your
kid, why don't you ask Barbra Jean?
248
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,348
Here. Take Apollo 13.
249
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,770
I don't need anybody.
He's gonna stay here with me.
250
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,981
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is!
251
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,067
The only reason I'm not going to fire you
252
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,654
is because that idiot across the hall
would say "I told you so."
253
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:07,740
Work something out!
254
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,076
Reba, I don't understand.
255
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:15,164
You would rather risk your job
than leave Jake with me?
256
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,292
Is this about what he called me?
257
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,755
Barbra Jean, I don't know what to say.
258
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,633
No, it's okay. I think I get it.
259
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,802
Barbra Jean, wait just a second. Hang on.
260
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,763
Oh, brother.
261
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,853
[chuckles] He is a cute kid.
262
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,897
Do I have to call the police?
263
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,197
What are you doing?
264
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,158
If I don't have dirt
underneath my fingernails,
265
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,202
the guys at the party
would make fun of me.
266
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,664
Real sorry I'm missin' that party.
267
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,249
[both faking laughter]
268
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,044
- [fake laughter intensifies]
- Cut it out!
269
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:06,006
Hey, hey, kids. Hey.
What's the problem here?
270
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:09,969
I have an important corporate event to
go to tonight, and she won't go.
271
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,222
Yeah? Well, I have a concert
with people who don't smell.
272
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,851
Look, you guys aren't
in high school anymore.
273
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:21,230
You don't have to spend every
second together. Come on now.
274
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983
You have your whole marriage to fight.
275
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,113
- He does have a point.
- Yeah.
276
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,116
I mean, why should
we be joined at the hip?
277
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,951
Absolutely.
278
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,579
Time apart is good for a relationship.
279
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,833
You know, Reba and I
used to do different things all the time.
280
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,752
I'd go play golf, and she would--
281
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,757
Well, I don't know what she'd do.
I was playin' golf.
282
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,095
Um, so you guys...
283
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,722
would spend a lot of time apart?
284
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,893
You know, I really don't
wanna go to that party.
285
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,895
You know, I don't even
like the band that much.
286
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,898
I am great at my job.
I don't need to kiss gardener butt.
287
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:10,237
You know what, Van? I think we should go
get Elizabeth and go on a walk.
288
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,406
Yeah. We'll go get ice cream.
289
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,700
- Together.
- Okay.
290
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,787
What the hell did Reba do?
291
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,503
Brock, is it just me, or were you
here less when we were married?
292
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,007
We need to talk about
this Barbra Jean thing.
293
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,509
[scoffs] Why is it so hard to understand
294
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,137
I would be upset that
Jake would call her "Mommy"?
295
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,306
It's not. I totally get it.
296
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,392
- I mean, I am his mommy, right?
- Absolutely.
297
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,895
I changed his diaper.
I nursed him when he was sick.
298
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,690
I was the one that taught him his alphabet
and believe me, he's no quick study.
299
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,861
Hey, Reba, I understand.
300
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,655
Would you quit agreein' with me?
I wanna argue.
301
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:57,743
Look, Barbra Jean
didn't wanna upset anyone.
302
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,871
I mean, she was just tryin'
to help out because she likes you.
303
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:05,918
Oh, I know.
Man, for one golden week, I had it all.
304
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,714
Clean house, happy kids,
great food I didn't have to cook...
305
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,342
on plates I didn't have to wash.
306
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,305
- It is nice, isn't it?
- Yeah.
307
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:24,103
Say, did she ever make you those little
red potatoes with the butter and parsley?
308
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,855
Parsley? Yeah. Oh, man. I love those.
309
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:29,233
What about the pork chops
with the pear glaze?
310
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,651
- No.
- Oh.
311
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,778
Oh, man!
I bet that was gonna be next week!
312
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,113
[murmurs]
313
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,077
I didn't handle this very well, did I?
314
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,621
I've learned not to answer those
type of questions.
315
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,503
You know, this is gonna sound
kind of stupid, but I do regret
316
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,714
that I didn't talk honestly
with Barbra Jean about this.
317
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:55,509
Hold that thought.
318
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,055
- [phone beeps]
- Red Fire has cooled.
319
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,267
Repeat: Red fire has cooled.
320
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,435
- What are you doin'?
- Nothin'.
321
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,397
Hey, Reba.
322
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:12,067
Barbra Jean has something she
really, really wants to say to you.
323
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,487
About this thing that happened
with Jake, I'm of two minds.
324
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,990
Where in the heck did you borrow one
and a half minds?
325
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,202
Reba.
326
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,206
Just hear her out.
327
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:30,335
On the one hand, I feel awful,
because I know you're so upset.
328
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,922
But on the other hand, I'm thrilled.
329
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,466
I mean, because I think
you're such a wonderful mother.
330
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,261
You see, when Jake called me "Mommy,"
331
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:44,057
it meant for one brief moment
he put me in the same category as you.
332
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:50,272
- My turn?
- Use your words.
333
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,070
Oh, Barbra Jean, I'm not mad at you.
334
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:01,450
I guess, I was just scared that
I could be so easily replaced.
335
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:05,329
Reba, I could never replace you.
336
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,711
I mean with the kids.
337
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,590
Thank you, Barbra Jean.
338
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,134
Ow.
339
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,310
Well, okay. It's all settled.
Hey, you know what would be great?
340
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,438
How 'bout if Barbra Jean
makes dinner for all of us?
341
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,774
Oh, I've got some pork chops
in the refrigerator.
342
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,277
And is there some kind of glaze
that we put on top of 'em?
343
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,446
Hint taken.
344
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,242
I'm just so glad this
whole crazy mess is over.
345
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,327
And I have a wonderful suggestion.
346
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,579
How 'bout if Jake just started
callin' me Mommy Jean?
347
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,665
Uh, no.
348
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,708
Mommy Barb? Mommy Hart?
349
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,293
Mommy Who Can Cook?
350
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,548
How 'bout Mommy With A Pork Chop--
351
00:20:58,548 --> 00:20:59,591
Whoa!
352
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,889
[theme music playing]
353
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,837
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]
28442
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