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1
00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,965
Five minutes to my birthday party!
2
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,261
Mom, Barbra Jean said, and I quote,
3
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:15,598
"Reba, no party is complete
with less than four colors of streamers."
4
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,602
{\an8}I don't think you want
to be quotin' Barbra Jean to me right now.
5
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:25,984
{\an8}All I've heard from that woman all week is
"I got a great idea, Reba.
6
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,278
{\an8}Let's do it my way, Reba.
7
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,698
{\an8}I'm 6' 8", Reba."
8
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,619
{\an8}You know, I gotta say,
Barbra Jean may be pushy,
9
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,663
{\an8}but her party ideas are solid.
10
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,374
{\an8}Look. I made a doggy.
11
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:55,555
{\an8}I'm the mother. I'm supposed to be the one
who gets to plan the party.
12
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,600
{\an8}What do you expect? Barbra Jean
isn't happy coming to the party.
13
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,809
{\an8}She has to be the party.
14
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,311
{\an8}Remember Halloween, she showed up
15
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,229
{\an8}in that outfit and scared everybody?
16
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,482
{\an8}Honey, that wasn't Halloween.
That was yesterday.
17
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,405
[Reba] Ha, hey!
18
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,784
♪ Who I am is who I wanna be ♪
19
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:20,080
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
20
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,541
[doorbell rings]
21
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,960
They're here! They're here!
22
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,297
{\an8}- Come on! Come on!
- Everyone, we have to be quiet.
23
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,633
{\an8}- Elizabeth is trying to sleep.
- Honey, they'll be quiet.
24
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,303
{\an8}It's just a bunch of eight-year-olds
we're pumpin' full of cake and candy.
25
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,806
{\an8}Say cheese!
26
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,724
{\an8}Don't say anything. Just smile.
27
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,560
{\an8}[shutter clicks]
28
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,396
{\an8}Here you go. There's a poster on
the dinin' room table.
29
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,732
{\an8}Stick your picture on it
and sign it. Okay? Have fun.
30
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:51,528
{\an8}- Tiptoe! Tiptoe.
- [sighs]
31
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,989
{\an8}Cheyenne, they're kids.
They haven't taken a vow of silence.
32
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,491
{\an8}- I'm on it.
- Aah! Aah! Aah!
33
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,827
{\an8}- You're off it. [sighs]
- [door closes]
34
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,372
{\an8}Cheyenne, the baby
can't hear us down here.
35
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:06,417
{\an8}You don't understand. If somebody does
wake up Elizabeth, she won't stop crying.
36
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,670
{\an8}Well, she'd learn to
if you didn't pick her up
37
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,921
{\an8}every time she made a peep.
38
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,674
{\an8}It's not a peep, Mom. It's a cry for help.
39
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,301
{\an8}A horrible, irritating cry.
40
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,142
Guys, Elizabeth is six months old.
41
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,728
She needs to learn to soothe herself
so she could fall back to sleep.
42
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,731
But, Mom, letting her just cry
would be so mean.
43
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,109
No, letting her cry
is the best thing for her.
44
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,652
That's what I used to do with you.
45
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,864
[scoffs] What?
46
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,659
Yeah. I used to let you
cry it out sometimes.
47
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:41,744
Wait a minute.
48
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,623
You let me just sit in my crib and cry?
49
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,460
Is your heart made of stone?
50
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,587
Who are you?
51
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:55,174
Mom, I was a baby. I just wanted my mommy.
52
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,135
D-Did you think it was funny?
53
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,098
Did it make you feel powerful?
54
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,433
[doorbell rings]
55
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,940
Hey, Reba. How excitin' is this?
56
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,775
Our little boy is growin' up.
57
00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:16,905
[chuckling] Yeah, it seems like only
yesterday he was my little boy.
58
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,743
Well, look at this.
59
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,537
I thought we talked
about streamer placement.
60
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,581
No. You talked, I ignored.
61
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,001
I'm just gonna go move
these over here where--
62
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,002
They're fine.
63
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,504
- But it would look so much better-- Ooh.
- [shutter clicks]
64
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,552
- Oops. Where'd you go?
- [chuckling]
65
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,554
[sighs]
66
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,224
I'm makin' a poster for Jake. Smile.
67
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,481
Brock, she's gone. You can smile now.
68
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,691
No, I can't.
69
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:57,111
I got a few Botox injections.
70
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,908
What? You?
71
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:06,537
Botox injections?
Isn't that cosmetic and girlie?
72
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,584
No, it's not girlie. It's botulism,
73
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,754
which is a deadly poison,
which is very manly.
74
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,801
Yeah, but is it supposed
to make your face look...
75
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,678
dead and creepy?
76
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,640
No. It's supposed to
take away the wrinkles.
77
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,977
So, I guess it was the wrinkles
that made you look alive.
78
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:33,064
What happened?
79
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,650
I was playing poker
with a few of my doctor buddies.
80
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,945
I ran out of cash.
So I bet a tooth whitening,
81
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,698
Frank raised me a few Botox injections.
82
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,157
I hit a full house.
83
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,119
[chuckling]
84
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,455
Yeah, I think he's...
he's still a little mad about losin'.
85
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:55,295
It's hard to believe that injecting
poison into your face could go so wrong.
86
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,840
Frank said it's only temporary.
87
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,092
Think it makes me look younger?
88
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,430
Oh, absolutely. Younger, dead and creepy.
89
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,141
Come on in. Join the party.
90
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,019
Jake's over there
laughin',smilin', showin' some emotion.
91
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:14,105
I guess he got that from me. Oh, ho, ho.
92
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,232
I gotta get a picture of that. Smile!
93
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,442
Stop it!
94
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,611
And I got pens and paper.
95
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,280
The kids will each write a sentence,
96
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,949
the last word of which
will rhyme with "Jake."
97
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:28,578
Like, "Another great idea
from the big blonde flake"?
98
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,123
Like that.
99
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:35,585
But not that.
100
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,589
And I got pin the tail on the donkey.
101
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,257
Kyra, would you put up the donkey?
102
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,341
Do it yourself.
103
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,135
Kyra!
104
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:48,056
It's okay. Every party has a pooper.
105
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,143
And I guess we found ours.
106
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:57,690
What was that?
107
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,817
You need to watch your mouth, young lady.
108
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,736
Barbra Jean is your stepmother.
109
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,364
You can't talk to her like that.
She deserves some respect. You got that?
110
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,741
You don't respect her.
111
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,994
Yes, I do. I totally do.
112
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,789
[scoffs] You mean like when you said
that Barbra Jean
113
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,749
is where brain cells go when they die?
114
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,087
[laughing]
115
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,676
That's totally different.
116
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,306
Barbra Jean and I have
a special relationship.
117
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,644
You're 13 years old, and you don't get to
speak to her that way.
118
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,523
Now, you're gonna sit right here
until you apologize to Barbra Jean. Okay?
119
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,067
- Okay. Okay.
- All right.
120
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:47,573
I am very, very angry.
121
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,664
Okay. She's almost down,
but she's still a little fussy.
122
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,581
[Elizabeth crying]
123
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,668
Well, she probably wants to go to
the party. You know, kids love cake.
124
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,503
No, Van. She needs a nap.
125
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,171
No, she's not getting a nap.
126
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,049
She's got us running
up and down the stairs every 10 minutes.
127
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,510
She's not a kid, she's a StairMaster.
128
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,348
Maybe we should try what your mom said.
129
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,308
Oh, my God. She's gotten to you.
130
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,644
Elizabeth's only six months old.
131
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,604
Your mom's like a million months old.
132
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,274
Maybe she knows better.
133
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,444
Look, Cheyenne, when you're at school,
134
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,904
I'm the one who has to
take care of Elizabeth.
135
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,032
And I would run to the moon
for that little girl.
136
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,704
But I could also crank up
SportsCenter and just let her wail.
137
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,543
- Van.
- But what if your mom's right?
138
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,837
She raised you, and you
turned out pretty awesome.
139
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,552
- [sighs] I don't know, Van.
- I know. I know.
140
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,512
But we'll never know unless we try it.
141
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,056
Like that time I tried sushi.
142
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,894
- You hate sushi.
- Yeah, but now I know I hate sushi.
143
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:10,656
Kyra's right, you know.
She gets her bad attitude from you.
144
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,074
She does not.
145
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:15,411
If you have a problem
with Barbra Jean, talk it out.
146
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:18,498
Sit down, woman-to-woman, and sort it out.
147
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,251
Sit down and talk with Barbra Jean?
Are you kidding?
148
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,046
'Cause I can't tell.
149
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,636
I'm serious.
150
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,599
You're, like,
addicted to makin' fun of Barbra Jean.
151
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,935
I'm not addicted.
I can stop anytime I want.
152
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:43,022
- Ha-ha-ha.
- I mean it. I'll stop insulting her.
153
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,108
I can. It's not fair to the kids
to make them
154
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:48,319
as bitter towards Barbra Jean as I am.
155
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,532
They'll have to learn that on their own.
156
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,161
Okay, that's the last one.
157
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,248
Guess what! The clown's here.
158
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,336
Yeah, we know.
But who's the guy with the rainbow wig?
159
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,677
Absolutely the last one.
160
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,187
[clown] Okay, who likes magic?
161
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:26,899
Isn't "Mr. Peppers"
a great name for a clown? Yeah.
162
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,570
If I were a clown, what would you call me?
163
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,034
Man, I wish you'd asked me that yesterday.
164
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:44,750
A frog in a blender!
Aaah! Ribit. Ribit. Ribit. Ribit.
165
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,877
- [laughing]
- Come on, guys.
166
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,797
Oh-ho, that's good.
167
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,967
Red and green. You're funny.
168
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,802
[chuckles] What is that, sarcasm?
169
00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:00,182
No, no. Uh, really, you're very good.
I'm-- I'm havin' a great time.
170
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,311
Tell your face.
171
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,028
Everybody's loving
the pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game.
172
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,364
'Cause I hung up the donkey,
173
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:17,867
myself,
174
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,287
as per your instructions.
175
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,874
Look, Barbra Jean, I'm sorry about before.
176
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,000
I was just joking.
177
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,669
Kind of like how my
mom kids you all the time.
178
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,962
Well, that's different.
179
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,424
Your mom and I have
a special relationship.
180
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,511
- Hey, that's what she said earlier.
- She did?
181
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,723
See, I always thought
she teased me because she liked me,
182
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,059
but, you know, you never know for sure.
183
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,145
Oh, yeah. That's why she does it.
184
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,024
And I was just trying
to do the same thing.
185
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,401
But I guess it sounds different
coming from a kid.
186
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,778
Oh, Kyra, don't worry about it.
187
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:58,532
I just hope when you grow up, you find
a special friend like I found in your mom.
188
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:04,288
Me too. Of course,
I'll have to get married first.
189
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,796
Reba, this is terrible.
Nobody can tell what I'm feeling.
190
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,423
- [Barbra Jean] Yoo-hoo!
- How much is that Botox?
191
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,929
That Mr. Peppers is a hoot.
192
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,557
Honestly, Reba, is there anything
like watching a big, silly clown
193
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,351
running around with too much makeup on?
194
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,820
- Not that I can say.
- [chuckles]
195
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:39,281
How about that cake? Everybody
ready to sing for the birthday boy!
196
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:42,034
- [children murmuring]
- Is there somethin' wrong, Reba?
197
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,662
- No, everything's fine.
- Because you're actin' weird.
198
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,207
I'm just really, really glad
that you're here.
199
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,625
That's all. Really glad.
200
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,502
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
201
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,755
Hey, you know what's funny?
202
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,551
Right after high school,
I was gonna go to clown college.
203
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:08,060
- Mm-hmm?
- But I didn't get accepted.
204
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:12,356
Hmm.
205
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,025
Maybe I should've just sent a picture.
206
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,029
Oh, boy.
207
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:24,076
- [Van] Okay! It's "Happy Birthday" time.
- Whoo.
208
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,911
- Does everybody know all the words?
- Yeah!
209
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,622
Here we go. And a one, and a two--
210
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,167
Excuse me! [gasps]
211
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,464
- [door closes]
- I left you alone for two seconds!
212
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:40,176
Oh, don't give me that look.
Oh, I forgot, it's the only look you have.
213
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,637
I'll go talk to her.
214
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,604
Come on, Barbra Jean.
Jake's cake's waitin'.
215
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,648
I don't know what I did
for you to treat me like that.
216
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,984
- Like what?
- Polite!
217
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:03,365
Even Kyra knows
that's not our relationship.
218
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,742
What'd she say?
219
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,828
Well, you know, how-- how you
tease me because you like me.
220
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,830
You know, all the fun zings.
221
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,374
[chuckling] Yeah, right. Right.
222
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:16,670
Well, I guess I hadn't been doin' that
because some people, not me, mind you,
223
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,632
but some people might think
that's a little mean.
224
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,425
Friendship is never mean.
225
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:24,845
See, they don't get that.
226
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,015
- So, you ready to go in, pal?
- You mean it?
227
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,683
Absolutely. Come on.
228
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,020
- You ready?
- Can I give you a hug?
229
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,356
Not if I was chokin'
on a piece of sausage.
230
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,318
- Zing!
- Zing!
231
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,237
There's the Reba I love.
232
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,447
- That's what I was tellin' him.
- I know.
233
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,367
Okay, everybody.
All better. Ready to sing?
234
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,827
Oh, I don't want Reba to sing near me.
235
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,288
I didn't bring my earplugs.
236
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,210
- [laughing]
- What are you doin'?
237
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,170
Zingin' you.
238
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,757
- You know, 'cause I like you.
- [chuckles]
239
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,717
Oh, you got me, all right.
240
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,388
Oh, when's this party gonna be over?
241
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:16,981
Nothin'.
242
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,568
- Reba, did you make the cake?
- Oh, you bet.
243
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,820
No pre-made cake for my little feller.
244
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,446
It's very interesting.
245
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,116
I've never had sawdust cake before.
246
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,826
[laughing]
247
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,082
Okey-dokey. Now, how about
let's open some presents?
248
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,876
- Yay!
- Here you go.
249
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:40,546
This one's from me.
You're gonna love this, Jake.
250
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,173
- Oh.
- It's a birdhouse kit!
251
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,260
You get to build
a birdhouse and then paint it.
252
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,012
Yeah, that's great. [scoffs]
253
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,181
Maybe next year
you'll get him a rat condo.
254
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,687
- Barbra Jean.
- Reba.
255
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,441
Well, you two are even
more special than usual.
256
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,862
This turned out to be a better party
than I thought. Is there coffee?
257
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,323
Oh, come on now, Brock.
You've had Reba's coffee.
258
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,741
It'll make you cry.
259
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,494
Kind of like Cheyenne did when she
was a baby and Reba wouldn't go to her.
260
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,496
[imitates baby crying]
261
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,875
"I want my mommy, but she won't come."
262
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,545
- Oh!
- Be right back.
263
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,256
Me and my pal are gonna go get the coffee.
264
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,257
Okay.
265
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,387
- You know what? I lied.
- Me too.
266
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:32,431
Your cake didn't taste like sawdust.
267
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,643
It tasted like sand. Zing!
268
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,147
Stop that! Stop keepin' score.
269
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:44,234
Which, by the way, if we were doing,
would be about a billion to one!
270
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,280
I'm trying to be honest
with you, Barbra Jean.
271
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,492
I say the stuff I say
because I'm still upset about the...
272
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,285
situation.
273
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,206
- Because I horned in on the party?
- No!
274
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,334
I'm talkin' about the big situation.
275
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,963
I'm talkin' about the thing that we
never talked through, woman-to-woman.
276
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:06,840
- Oh, my gosh.
- Yeah.
277
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,676
You're going through menopause.
278
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:14,473
No, I'm not going
through menopause, you dingbat.
279
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,103
You and Brock. That's what I'm
talkin' about. You wreckin' my marriage!
280
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,270
Uh--
281
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,189
Yea!
282
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,110
Hey, look at you!
283
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:29,738
Whoo! Look at them. Look at that.
284
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,451
I guess I've never actually brought this
up to you and talked about it face-to-face
285
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,370
and that's probably my fault.
286
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,499
And maybe my clever little comments
when you're around are immature,
287
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,960
but that's how I've dealt with this.
288
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,004
[sighs]
289
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,465
This hasn't been easy for me, Barbra Jean.
290
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,592
Well,
291
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,805
- I am very sorry to hear that, Reba.
- Okay.
292
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,850
Because, as you can imagine,
293
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,228
it has just been a freakin' picnic for me!
294
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:12,156
You think your clever little comments
are tough for me to handle?
295
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:16,368
[scoffs] Huh! I'm the other woman, Reba.
296
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,788
I'm the whore of Babylon!
297
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,378
I get looks and whispers
298
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,672
and fingers pointin' at me every day.
299
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,052
But everybody acts friendly,
300
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,763
just like you did today.
301
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,225
Phony smiles and fake sincerity
hurt a whole lot worse
302
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,061
than your clever little jokes,
303
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,856
which, frankly,
aren't all that clever either.
304
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,320
Some of 'em are.
305
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,493
Look, if this is supposed to make
me feel sorry for you, it ain't workin'.
306
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,454
I don't want you
to feel sorry for me, Reba.
307
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,790
I just want to know where you stand.
308
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,793
I want you to be honest with me.
309
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,129
Okay. I can do that.
310
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,215
Your party ideas are stupid.
311
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:15,052
They didn't let you into clown college
'cause you're too big to fit into the car.
312
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,306
And I sing way better than you.
313
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,852
- There's my Reba-ruba-roo.
- [chuckling]
314
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:28,649
And if you call me that again, I'm
gonna slap the blonde right off of you.
315
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,491
[Elizabeth crying]
316
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,455
Hey.
317
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,375
I got you a corner piece.
318
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,419
I don't feel like eating cake right now.
319
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,630
[crying continues]
320
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,841
Why'd you always like the corner piece?
321
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,678
- I remember when you were little--
- My baby is crying, Mom.
322
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,013
Oh, I thought that was Van.
323
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,352
- Cheyenne, I know this is tough.
- Really?
324
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,855
- Do you?
- Yeah, sweetie, I do.
325
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,152
I remember sittin' outside your door
frettin' the same way.
326
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,113
But I knew in my heart
it was the best thing for you.
327
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,991
Well, it doesn't feel right in my heart.
328
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,202
You know, all of these things that are...
329
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,414
that are supposed to be the right things
to do, you know?
330
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,418
In the morning,
when I leave her to go to school.
331
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,588
And when I come home,
and she's already in bed.
332
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,092
And when I have
to study French philosophy
333
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,511
instead of playing peekaboo with her.
334
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,680
These are important things to do, right?
335
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,933
Well, they just...
they don't feel right, Mom.
336
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,437
- Not to me.
- Cheyenne, you're her mother.
337
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,689
Mom, I know what you're gonna say.
338
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:54,067
Yeah. But I get to say it anyway,
because I'm your mother.
339
00:19:56,737 --> 00:20:01,533
Now, you listen to me.
Nobody, not me, not Van,
340
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,078
not those peekaboo-playin'
French philosophers,
341
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,166
know what's right
for your baby more than you.
342
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,752
But I'm telling you.
It doesn't feel right.
343
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,254
- I know.
- So, what are you gonna do?
344
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,924
[crying continues]
345
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,094
I want to go pick up my baby.
346
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,513
Good. 'Cause I want to eat your cake.
347
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,648
Here you go, Mr. Peppers.
348
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,192
Don't spend it all at the big-shoe store.
349
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:36,526
Thank you.
350
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:38,820
Hey, any chance I can get
the big chick's number?
351
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,697
Sorry. She's already seeing a clown.
352
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,327
- You like clowns?
- [horn honks]
353
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:46,912
Go on now.
354
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,163
All right.
355
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,963
[theme music playing]
356
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,369
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]
27791
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