Original subtitles

What's this? "Harris County Courthouse."

Oh. That must be my copy of the final divorce papers.

Congratulations.

I mean, no offense, hon, but gettin' rid of Brock

is like gettin' rid of a wart.

Twenty years of buildin' a life together,

and it all ends with an envelope stuck to a coupon for Popeyes Chicken.

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm fine.

It's not like this came out of left field.

Hey, you don't always have to be the tough gal.

Even gettin' a wart removed is painful.

Let me take you to the spa.

Nothin' helps you forget a cheatin' sack of dirt

like a good mud pack.

I'm fine! I was worried about the kids.

But I've been preparin' 'em for this day so long,

that, when I finally told 'em the divorce was official,

- they were relieved. - Really?

Yeah. Relieved we didn't have to talk about it anymore.

And so am I.

This little paper lets me get on with my life, and I'm ready.

Hallelujah! Time to find you a man.

Oh, I'm not ready for that.

You just don't rush out the day your divorce is final.

I did, all three times.

I don't know.

I never saw myself as one of those desperate divorcees,

goin' to bars, dressin' too young,

- droolin' on every man that walks by. - Hey, watch it. Watch it.

- Hey, Mom. - Hey.

Dad bought me new shoes.

Pretty.

I got slime.

[farting sound]

Speakin' of slime, hello, Lori Ann.

Brock, we were just talking about you

and other unsightly blemishes.

So, shoes, slime,

feeling guilty, ex-husband?

You got your papers.

Yes, I got my papers.

Now where are my new shoes?

Reba, are you okay?

Why does everyone keep askin' me that?

What's not to be okay about?

Because now you're truly, truly alone.

Reba, I just want you to know...

that, if you need us, we are here for you.

[mouthing]

- Let's go. - Yeah.

Okay. Now I'm ready to move on.

[door closes]

[theme song playing]

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Okay. We will find you someone.

I have two megabytes of men.

"Married. Married. Dead.

Gay. Gay. Gay."

Three of 'em are gay?

No, just the one, but he came out in a big way.

What's goin' on?

I am finding your mother a date.

Ooh, I can help. A lot of old guys hit on me.

Should you be a part of this conversation?

Why can't we talk like two mature adults?

You know, I'm a married woman now,

practically a high school graduate.

So you're okay with me dating?

I want you to be happy.

I envy you gettin' back into the dating world.

I miss it.

Okay, here's one.

Dermatologist, tall, real hair.

I don't wanna date a dermatologist.

Okay. How about Jason Stevens?

Pilot, looks great in a uniform.

It's a chance to join the mile-high club.

I'm already a member.

Go, Mom!

[laughs]

Okay.

Okay, you just pick a name and a profession you want.

It's not that easy. I'm out of practice.

Do you realize the last time I was on a date,

before Brock, was with Parker Reynolds?

I have him right here.

- My Parker Reynolds? - Who's he?

He is the man your mother dumped to marry your father.

Oh, this is the double-date story.

Yeah.

I was with Parker, and your father was with Lori Ann.

Must we discuss all our past sins?

[laughs]

Parker was the president of your father's fraternity.

He was on the tennis team, the dean's list--

Had a butt like a pair of honeydew melons.

He and your mother were the perfect overachiever couple.

Just like me and Van.

I didn't know he'd moved back to Houston.

Oh, yeah. He is a big, muckety-muck oil executive.

And by "muckety-muck," I mean loaded.

Give him a call.

[chuckles] Oh, no. I couldn't.

Why not? He sounds great.

Why'd you break up with him?

You know, I don't even remember.

I just liked your father better, for some reason I...

also don't remember.

It's ringing!

Lori Ann, we were in college. He won't remember me.

Hello? Parker, do you remember Reba?

He does.

You know what Mom's doing?

Getting dressed for her date.

I know. She told me...

over and over.

You know what that means. We're getting a new daddy.

We are?

See, when moms get married the second time,

all the kids get adopted, and everyone has to change their last names.

Nah-uh.

And you'll have to share your room with the new children.

New children?

You know, the ones that Mom and new Dad will love more than us.

Okay, here she comes, one hot mama.

[Cheyenne chuckles]

Van, what do you think?

About what?

Oh, men don't notice clothes.

Then why did we spend the last three hours doin' this?

All right, kids. Bye-bye.

Call me on the cell phone if you need me.

- Bye, Mom. - Bye.

What, isn't he picking you up?

No. I thought I'd meet him at the restaurant.

Well, if you're gonna be dating,

I think your friends should pick you up at the house

so we get to meet them beforehand.

Mmm-hmm.

What are you gonna do, cut off my allowance?

[Van] And don't stay out too late.

Oh, and Mom? Start slow.

Yeah. Better safe than sorry.

[laughs] Yeah.

Don't get carried away and end up like me.

[exhales]

- Would you like to order? - Oh, no. I'm waitin' for someone.

It's a date. My first date.

Oh, I've had a date before.

I have three children.

[laughs]

Must have been some date.

There she is.

Parker Reynolds!

I'd have recognized you anywhere.

[chuckles]

You haven't changed one bit.

Oh, I don't believe that, but, hey, I'll take it. [laughs]

- Come on. Sit down. - Okay. Thanks.

- Wow. You look great. - Ah, new pants.

Oh.

I hope this place is okay.

I remember how much you used to like Italian food.

- I still do. - Good.

So...

What have you been up to for the past 20 years?

Oh, nothin' much.

Marriage, three kids, a divorce. You?

Same, except no marriage or kids.

A few serious relationships,

but I guess I'm

still waiting for that special someone.

Well, I just recently found out, I am too.

Are you ready to order?

Sure. The lady will start with a Caesar salad, no anchovies,

and then, for her entree,

she'll have linguine and clams, easy on the cream and--

What on earth am I doing?

Your tastes have probably changed after all these years.

Nope. I still like the same things I liked back then.

Same for me. Thank you.

I was nervous I wouldn't know what to say or do tonight,

but it's great havin' a first date with a guy you've already dated.

You should see me on a second date. Oh, wait. You have.

[chuckles]

So, let me guess.

For dessert, we're gonna head on down to the Dairy Queen and split a Dilly Bar?

Please, we're adults now.

- Oh. - We each get our own Dilly Bar.

Oh, I had a great time tonight, Parker.

I haven't laughed like this since,

- oh, I don't know when. - [chuckles]

Well, I'm so glad I decided to come.

I almost didn't, you know?

- Really? - Yeah.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Oh, I didn't bite you.

Did I?

You broke my heart 20 years ago.

I wasn't sure I wanted to risk that again.

I'm sorry, Parker.

Did you ever wonder what...

what would have happened if we'd...

stayed together?

Yes, I have.

Me too. More often than I'd like to admit.

Oops. I guess I just did admit it.

[laughs]

Why did I ever let you go?

You never gave me a good reason.

For the life of me,

I can't remember the reason.

[romantic music playing]

[music winds down, stops]

[Reba] Now I remember.

Lousy kisser.

So you kissed him and felt absolutely nothing?

It was like kissing your brother or like kissing you.

I could take offense to that.

Oh, you know what I mean.

When those lips touched mine,

it all came back in one boring flash.

[sighs] We dated for five months in college.

I liked him!

He was everything I was lookin' for.

But there was just never any... sparks.

- But with Brock? - Wildfires.

Parker is such a great guy.

Why can't there be any sparks?

Parker Reynolds.

Delete.

Oh, is that a turtleneck you're wearing?

Hickey check.

Things didn't go that well with Parker last night.

Lousy lover?

No. Kisser. Lousy kisser!

Oh, been there.

Oh, how sweet of you. Are those for me?

They were on the front porch. They're for Mrs. H.

It's so boring being married.

"Had a wonderful time.

Counting the hours until we meet again. Parker."

Flowers? Turtleneck? Uh-huh!

Someone got some action last night!

Whoo!

- There was no "action." - Oh, yeah. Been there.

Now you'll be able to move on to somethin' a little more hard-core,

like a dermatologist.

First, I have to break the heart of the sweetest man in the world...

again.

I know. Just date him for a couple of months,

get a few free dinners out of it and then dump him.

You are definitely half your dad.

- Hey. - Speaking of.

We're takin' Jake and Kyra to lunch.

She called and asked for more shoes.

I think we're makin' real progress.

I'll go get 'em.

Reba.

What beautiful flowers!

Are they from someone special?

I don't believe my flowers are any of your business.

So they're not from a man.

- Who says they're not? - [gasps] You do have a man!

Praise Jesus!

Thank you for lifting this burden off of me.

You had a date?

What's the big rush?

It was with Parker Reynolds.

- Who's he? - Reba's lover.

Ooh!

How is old Parker?

Rich, successful, charming.

Pretty much a perfect ten.

Did I leave anything out, Reba?

Nothin' you need to mention right now.

So, uh, you seein' him again?

As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, good for you, Reba.

Good for me?

Yeah. You deserve another ten.

Come on, kids. Let's go.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye.

- She's seeing new Dad again. - She is?

It's okay if you don't like him. He'll probably just give you away.

- [door closes] - Okay, Cheyenne,

what do you wear to dump a guy?

Oh, what you've got on is fine.

Reba. I sure wish you would have let me pick you up.

I want to meet those kids someday.

[both chuckle]

Parker, Parker, Parker.

I sure had a great time the other night.

I did too. Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful.

You know what yellow roses stand for.

Texas?

Loyalty. Now that you're a divorced woman, you could have any man you want.

But you chose me. Know what that means?

Texas?

[both chuckle]

Reba, Reba, Reba.

Parker, Parker, Parker.

I am so glad you're back in my life.

We fit together like a...

like a plug in a socket.

Oh, God! I didn't... I didn't mean--

[both laughing]

That's okay.

Oh, you sure do make me laugh.

Parker, can we try a little experiment?

- Sure. - [exhales]

Okay.

Better make that "to go."

"To go"? Are we leaving?

Parker, I really enjoyed seeing you again, but--

But?

You're a really nice guy, but--

Oh, no.

Two "buts" and a "nice guy." This can't be good.

I'm sorry. This is not gonna work out.

Not gonna work out? Five seconds ago, you couldn't keep your lips off me.

Parker, you don't wanna get tied down to me.

I'm a mother of three. I'm gonna be a grandmother soon.

- It's because I'm short, isn't it? - What?

So I'm shorter than you are. I can wear lifts. You can stoop.

Or wear heels, damn it, and I'll just work on my self-confidence.

Parker, it doesn't have anything to do with your height.

- It doesn't? Then what is it? Tell me. - It's nothing.

It isn't nothing. It's something.

- Is it my hair? - No.

- 'Cause I keep ordering for you? - No.

You did this to me 20 years ago. I have a right to know. Tell me.

All right. It's your kissing.

Ow. I'd rather be short.

Parker.

I'm sorry, but there's just not any...

sparks.

Sparks? Hey, no fair.

You didn't tell me we were goin' for sparks.

I didn't even have time to warm up.

I didn't even get to use my hands.

[sighs]

[whispers] Nothing?

[mouthing]

[Reba sighs]

I felt it.

Call me.

When is my new dad moving in?

What are you talkin' about?

That man you're going to marry after coffee.

Well, first of all, you already have a dad.

And second of all, I'm not gonna marry anyone

for a long time.

So I won't have to change my name to Parker Junior?

Of course not.

Where'd you ever get an idea like--

Kyra!

Hold it.

Honey, why don't you go on upstairs. I wanna talk to your sister.

Uh, thanks, Mom, but I'm all talked out right now.

I'll make you think all talked out. Sit down.

Why have you been torturing Jake?

It's my job, and I take it very seriously.

"Parker Junior"?

You gotta admit that's pretty good. [chuckles]

Kyra, where's all this comin' from?

Are you upset about the divorce?

What's to be upset about?

We've been hearing about it forever.

Well, you gotta admit it's a little scary.

Not for me.

I thought I had all this figured out,

and then the divorce papers came.

I was so afraid of being single again

that I tried to go back to somebody I dated 20 years ago.

Do you like him?

Yeah, as a friend.

But I can't go back. We all have to go forward,

even if it is a little scary.

Honey, are you afraid I'm gonna marry someone

and forget about you kids?

Of course not.

I know the divorce has been hard on you too.

No, it hasn't.

Oh, honey.

[sighs]

You don't always have to be the tough gal.

Gee, I wonder where you got that from.

You know, you're so smart and mature,

sometimes I forget you're only 12.

Twelve and a half.

Twelve and a half.

All right. I've made a list of men I've already kissed,

guaranteed to get your mojo workin'.

I've got mojo?

- Hey. - Oh, don't you have rotting teeth to fix?

No, but there's a mouth I'd sure like to work on.

Hey, Dad.

- Hey. - Hey, Coach.

Van and I are gonna go out to dinner with Dad and Barbra Jean.

Okay.

I hear he's feeling guilty and buying shoes.

Hi.

[chuckling]

So, how's your new beau?

We've decided to stay friends.

He dumped you already?

For your information, Reba dumped him.

You're such a good friend.

Come on, everybody. Let's go eat.

No comment from you?

No.

I gotta give you credit, Brock.

You've handled my first date very well.

Well, you know, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Parker's a real nice guy.

[imitates kissing]

Wait a minute!

Who told you?

You did. 20 years ago when you broke up with him.

It was all about the sparks, or, should I say, the lack thereof.

I'm sure you're disappointed.

Believe it or not, Reba,

I really do hope you find someone that makes you happy.

[sputters]

Don't get me wrong. I'll be jealous as hell.

But that's my cross to bear.

[B.J.] Brock. We're waiting.

That's your cross calling now.

[theme music playing]