Original subtitles

Great, Daddy. Okay, see you Friday night.

Oh, and if you hit any armadillos this time?

Don't feel like you have to show me.

Hey, guess what!

Meemaw and Grandpa are driving down from Muleshoe

to spend the weekend with us.

- Cool. - Great!

[chuckles]

They're stoppin' by on their way to the valley.

They're goin' dove huntin' for their 46th anniversary.

How romantic to celebrate a long, happy marriage by killing birds.

This is the first time your grandparents have come down

since your father moved out,

so be on your best behavior to show 'em how well we're getting along.

In other words, lie.

Yeah. Cheyenne, Meemaw and Grandpa will be sleeping in your room.

Where are we supposed to sleep?

You and Van, take Kyra's room. Kyra, you can bunk with me.

No way are those sex maniacs sleeping in my room.

Put 'em in Jake's room.

I don't want maniacs in my room.

And while my parents are here, there will be no arguing, complaining,

or talk of sex.

What's left?

Hey, Jakey left his backpack at the condo.

Glad you're here. Mama and Daddy are coming to visit this weekend.

J.V. and Helen are coming?

You know my parents' names?

Of course! Your family is Brock's family,

- and Brock's family is-- - ...My family.

Yeah, don't worry. We'll stay clear.

I'm sure that J.V. and Helen are none too thrilled with me right now.

Why?

Brock, Mum and Daddy have known you for 20 years.

If you don't show up, they're gonna think something's wrong.

Hello!

Stop by around 11:30, but be brief.

And come alone.

Who would we bring? [laughs]

[theme song playing]

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

What if your grandparents don't like me?

Oh, why wouldn't they like you?

You're pregnant.

I'm your husband. They're gonna put two and two together.

[doorbell rings]

[Jake] They're here!

Nice, happy family, just like we rehearsed it, okay?

- Oh! - Oh, Ma!

- Honey, you look terrific! - Thanks.

Why aren't you wearing the blouse that I sent you? Don't you like it?

Oh, I love it! I'm gonna wear it tomorrow so you can see me wear it all day long.

Come here, my sweet, little baby girl!

Oh, Daddy, nothin' takes me home

like the smell of Old Spice and gunpowder.

- Hi, Grandpa. - Hey, partner!

Did you bring me something?

Why, I sure did.

Wow! A real knife!

Thanks, Daddy.

I'll put it with the .22 you gave him for Christmas.

Oh, look at you!

[gasps] Well, you've got boobs!

- Aren't they great? - Yeah!

- Hi, Meemaw. - Oh, Cheyenne, honey.

Let me look at you.

- You are glowing! - [giggles]

I'm sorry.

- Hey! - Hi, Grandpa.

Ain't you gonna introduce us to your feller?

Oh!

Grandpa, Meemaw, this is my husband, Van.

- Heard a lot about you, son. - I'm sorry.

Van's a little nervous about meetin' y'all,

under the circumstances.

Oh, hoo-ha!

Listen, J.V. and I were 19 when we got married.

It's not your age that matters.

It's the amount of work that you put into it.

There is no greater achievement in life than a long and happy marriage.

Oh, I'm sorry, Reba.

I'm fine, Mama.

Y'all come on up. You two are gonna be sleeping in Cheyenne's room.

- Oh, we don't wanna put the kids out. - It's no trouble.

Cheyenne's in with Kyra, and Van's with Jake.

And you're all alone.

I'm fine, Mama.

Sure you are.

Well, for heaven's sake, Reba. No wonder she got pregnant.

You let 'em put these two beds together.

Mama, they didn't push the beds together until after they were married.

Honey, I love you,

but you are walkin' around with blinders on.

I got a special lunch planned tomorrow to celebrate your anniversary.

- We don't want to put you to any trouble. - I do. What are you making?

[laughs]

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans.

Whoo! Have I told you you're my favorite?

[laughing]

Hey. We just need to grab our pajamas.

Which we sleep in every night.

Well, I'm gonna go hit the showers.

I hope you still have that fancy little sponge on a stick.

What sponge on a stick?

You old fool.

I told you, that is the toilet brush.

[laughter]

[gasps] I'm gonna go take it out of the bathroom before he gets in there.

Oh, Cheyenne, Van. Come over here. I brought you something.

Oh, Meemaw, you didn't have to do that.

Well, I sure did.

You're my first grandbaby to get married.

Oh.

Your grandfather gave this to me on our third anniversary.

When we got married, we couldn't afford a diamond ring,

so he bought me one three years later

and gave it to me in this locket.

Oh, my God! Is there a diamond ring in here?

No, of course not!

I mean, it's beautiful.

I know when you start out a marriage young,

you don't have a whole heck of a lot,

so you gotta make what you do have special.

- Thank you. - Yes, darling. [chuckles]

I just hope the two of you are gonna be as happy together

as I have been with your granddaddy for the last 46 years.

Now, give me a hand. Let's push these two beds apart.

[sighs] Well, I just finished sweeping the porch.

You swept the porch?

I made the mistake of looking bored in front of Meemaw.

Uh, well, no time to chitchat.

Busy, busy, busy.

Oh, Mama. I'm wearing the shirt you bought me.

Mmm, maybe I should've got that in another color.

Is that all the chicken you made?

You don't think it's enough?

Well, you know me. I don't believe in skimping on portions.

Like I always say,

"If you want to keep your man happy, keep him full."

Oh, crap. I didn't mean that, Reba.

I'm sure it wasn't your cookin' that drove Brock away.

And all this time I thought it was my housekeeping.

Okay, open your eyes.

What's this for?

I was thinking about that locket that Grandpa gave Meemaw.

We need to have memories like those if we're gonna last for 46 years.

Forty-six years! We'll be, like, a hundred.

Van, read the card. I wrote you a poem.

"To my man whose name is Van,

lots of love, your wife, Cheyenne."

[chuckles]

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Now can I open it? - Yes.

Well?

- It... It's a key chain. - Mm-hmm.

And do you know what it's for?

No way! You got me a car?

Oh, yeah!

No, no.

Van, it's a heart key chain,

because you hold the key to my heart.

Isn't that romantic?

Oh, yeah! [guffawing]

Oh, you were serious?

And that, young feller, is how you field dress a deer.

Lunch is almost ready.

I'm not hungry.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be Brock.

He better not make my little carrot-top cry.

- Hey. - Hey, Brock. Come on in.

Mama, Daddy, look who's here.

Hello, Helen, J.V.

Happy anniversary.

Fish bitin' lately?

Nope.

- Did you try my Spam trick? - Yup.

Didn't work?

Caught an eight-pounder.

- Did I tell you? - [laughing]

I brought you some things from the office.

Fuzzy floss?

Three packs.

[chuckling]

You old son of a gun. I can't stay mad at you.

Why don't you stay a while? We're about to eat.

Tie on the feed bag with us.

J.V., no. Uh, Reba didn't make enough chicken.

I told you, we got plenty of chicken, Mama.

Ah, no, I can't stay, J.V.

Buddy of mine's waiting out in the car.

[B.J.] Yoo-hoo!

That's him now.

Brock, honey, you forgot my pie.

Wait. Where are my manners? Hi!

I'm Barbra Jean!

Oh! [laughing]

Oh, I am so pleased...

to meet you, Mrs. McKinney!

Helen.

Mom.

I'm not sure what to call you.

Funny. I've thought of so many things to call you.

- Mom! - Okay, "Mom" it is.

Well, the sweat on the back of my neck tells me it's time to go.

Sorry we can't stay for lunch.

Sure we can! What are we havin'?

Uh, chicken.

Well, I think I'll just take your delightful pie into the kitchen.

[nervous laugh]

Mama, what'd you do that for?

Don't tell me you were gonna eat that woman's pie!

No, of course not, but at least I would've waited till she left

before I threw it out.

How can you let her come into your home and make a fool out of you?

[laughs] One good thing about Barbra Jean,

when you're with her, you never feel like you're the fool.

Well, I am not gonna eat lunch with her.

You have to! It's your anniversary lunch.

- Then you shouldn't have invited her! - I didn't! Daddy did!

Because you let him.

[sighs] Look, Mama.

For the good of the family, I have accepted Barbra Jean

as a reality in my life.

It's not as bad as you think.

Now, I want you to go out there, have lunch and be civil.

- It's not gonna kill you. - What if it does?

Well, then I won't have to wear this shirt anymore.

Boy, you can tell the food is good when no one's talkin'.

Your grandfather hates me.

Look at the way he's holding his knife.

Don't eat too much.

Save room for my pie.

Oh, yeah. What kind was it-- is it?

Blueberry rhubarb. I heard it was J.V.'s favorite.

That rhubarb really cleans out the pipes.

I understand you're a hygienist.

That must be fascinating work, cleaning strangers' dirty teeth all day.

- Mother! - Oh, sorry.

What I meant was, what a lovely blouse!

I got it at the outlet mall, but I added the sparkle myself.

I'm into bedazzlin'.

I love the outlet malls.

Of course, the closest one to us is halfway to Lubbock.

Two tanks of gas to save 40 cents.

Count your blessings. Ours is right up the street.

That's why my shoes are different sizes.

Well, you can't tell, and I'll bet you got a great price on 'em.

Oh, I did.

Hey, when we're done, we should go to the mall

and do some shoppin'!

- What a great idea. - What?

No, B.J., uh, don't we have to do that... that church thing?

But Mom wants to go shoppin'.

Mom?

Yeah, it's my anniversary and I wanna go.

Come on, Reba. It won't kill ya.

But what if it does?

Well, then I guess you won't have to wear that shirt anymore.

- [Cheyenne] Hey. - Hey.

I made you somethin'.

[chuckles] No, thank you.

Oh, try one bite. I made it myself.

Van, that's a Twinkie. Hostess made it.

Please!

Okay, okay.

[muffled] Oh! Ew! What is this?

Your wedding ring.

Yuck. What did you do that for?

I'm being romantic. I saw it in a movie once.

A guy put an engagement ring in a fortune cookie.

Van, you're supposed to do that when you propose.

This is just gross!

- It's better than a stupid keychain. - What?

Nothin'.

Well, at least a keychain is a real gift.

Well, excuse me for being romantic.

I'm sorry if it's not as fancy as that poem you say you wrote.

Hey, what are y'all squabblin' about in here?

I'm sorry.

Is there something wrong with him?

No, it's...

Meemaw told us about that locket you gave her and...

we're trying to make memories, but we suck at it.

I gave her a locket?

You don't remember?

Oh, dude, you are so in trouble.

Don't look so surprised.

Forty-six years is a long, long...

long time.

How do you do it?

Now, here's a tip.

Stop trying.

Look, the thing that makes a marriage last is silence.

Yesterday, we drove nine hours...

from Muleshoe to Houston,

and six of 'em were completely silent.

We're comfortable. Nobody tries to impress the other.

Now, that's what makes a marriage last, silence.

Really?

Yeah, that and playful sex.

Oh, I'm sorry!

[Helen] Did you find anything you like, Reba?

Yeah. Socks.

Ten pair for a dollar.

Socks? Well, you're no fun.

Maybe I'll bedazzle 'em.

[both gasp] Cute!

[both] Jinx!

[music playing on speakers]

Oh, I love this song!

♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care, T.C.B. ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪

♪ Re-re-re-re-re-re-re respect ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me... ♪

All right, stop it.

- [continues singing] - Stop it. Stop it!

What?

How could you do that with her?

I thought you told me to be nice to her.

I meant don't throw her pie away,

not start a mother-daughter lounge act!

For heaven's sakes, Reba, would you make up your mind?

Be nice to her, don't be nice to her.

What do you want from me?

I don't know, but not--

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪

I'm sorry, but in my day the rules were simpler.

A woman who slept with your husband didn't bring you a pie.

Why don't you just come right out and say it?

You think I'm a failure because

my marriage didn't last 46 years like yours did.

Is that what you think?

It's not like you've been subtle about it.

"There's no greater achievement in life than a long, happy marriage."

Or "If you want to keep your man happy, keep him full of chicken."

I never said "chicken."

Look, I know we may not look like a normal family,

but in some weird way,

it's workin'.

I'm just sorry you can't see that.

You know, the first time I saw that woman waltz in

through your front door,

I thought that you weren't standin' up for yourself.

I wanted to defend you.

But now I see you're lettin' her come over here

as a sign of how strong you are, not how weak.

- Do you really think so? - Oh, yeah.

You are one strong, stubborn mule of a woman.

Can't imagine where I got that from.

- Your daddy. - Oh. Yeah.

Listen, it's clear to me that you are doing just great.

The last thing you need is your old mother comin' around

pokin' her nose into your business,

so I am just gonna butt out.

No, don't butt out.

I'll never stop needin' a mama.

- Oh, good. Good! - [chuckling]

'Cause that chicken of yours was a little dry.

Yup.

♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪

Come on, Helen! Shake it!

Yes, Helen!

[closing theme music playing]