Original subtitles

[Reba] This is gonna be worth the wait.

Here you go. Fresh-squeezed orange juice with lots of pulp.

Just like Mama used to make.

More, please.

No wonder Mama's right arm was so huge.

I told you, I'm not going maternity shopping again.

Those women look at me like they know what I did.

But, I need clothes that make it clear I'm pregnant and not fat.

Cheyenne, I have tons of cute maternity clothes

left over from when I had Jake.

No offense, Mom, but you were 35.

I'm, like, half that.

Right. So what are the hip, pregnant teens wearing these days?

Oh, it just felt like a cricket ran across my stomach.

Get a jar!

Sweetheart, that's your baby kicking.

No way. That's the baby?

- [gasps] - Van, you wanna come feel?

[chuckles] No, thanks. I believe you.

Well, hello, my sweet little grandchild.

Nice to meet ya.

Kyra, Cheyenne just felt the baby.

It's probably only gas.

I do not get gas.

Cheyenne, we shared a room.

Come on, Van. Come feel your son or daughter.

- Hey, there really is a baby in there. - [Cheyenne chuckles]

Wow, I made that!

How?

Okay, time to get dressed.

[theme song playing]

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Okay. Well, tell Daddy I love him and thank him for the book.

Yeah, if I ever decide to hunt elk, it'll come in handy.

Okay, love you too. Bye.

- [knocking] - [gasps]

- Lori Ann Garner! - Reba Las Vegas!

Never gonna let me live that down.

Hey, I'm not the one that jumped onstage

and mauled Tom Jones.

I was just trying to get my panties back.

Get in here. What brings you to town?

You are not gonna believe this.

My company is relocating here in the spring.

- You're moving back to Houston? - Can you believe it?

Thelma and Louise back in action.

Mild-mannered suburban women by day, hot divorcees by night.

[laughs] I'm not sure I'm the hot divorcee type.

[chuckling]

Am I?

Of course you are.

You just need to learn the ropes and how to use 'em.

Have a seat.

All right. Catch me up. How's the divorce goin'?

Well, right now we're at the "dissolution of property" stage.

Two words of advice, kill him.

I took Robert for everything he had.

And he deserved it. Sleeping with your housekeeper.

No, that was John, husband number two.

I kinda miss him, and so does my housekeeper.

See, if I have the proper tools the job would--

- [door closes] - Hello, Brock.

Hello, Lori Ann.

My, you've put on a few pounds.

That's my fault. We eat cake in bed.

You must be Barbra Jean.

Please, everybody calls me B.J.

I wonder why.

Hey, Lori Ann, uh, you might wanna run outside,

I think they're about to tow your broom.

Would you go fetch Jake? I'm gonna grab the cordless drill.

Oh, Brock. Here's an idea for you.

Why don't you take all your tools back to your condo?

- Why? - Because you live there.

Brock, the lawyers told us to do an inventory

so we can decide who gets what before we move on to the next step.

Okay. We're off to the Build Your Own Teddy Bear store.

We're gonna build our own teddy bears.

Honey, make sure you build a teddy bear for your new niece or nephew.

Cheyenne felt the baby move today.

Oh, honey, that's gre--

I mean, Reba.

That's great.

I've been feeling our little sprout kicking too.

You wanna feel my belly?

I'll take a rain check.

See ya later.

When you get back, you're gonna go through the garage with me.

All right.

Reba, how can you even let that woman in your house?

I know it seems a little strange, but the kids need to see their father.

And B.J.'s with Brock so she's part of the package.

It was Brock's package

got you into this mess in the first place.

"Although you may have gained seven to 10 pounds,

the fetus weighs in at five ounces."

So, most of that weight is you.

Okay. Stop reading that.

No, no. It's fascinating.

Feeling him move was like my wake-up call.

It's real now.

Hi, baby.

- It's Daddy. - [chuckling]

Talk to the baby, Cheyenne. It says it helps you connect.

Van, I'm pretty much plugged in already.

Hey, do you think he's hungry?

Maybe he'd like a yogurt or a piece of fruit.

Mmm. A banana sounds good.

No, no, no. I'll get it. You stay here.

I wanna do whatever I can to help the baby.

Really? Well, you know what else would be nice?

A foot massage. I mean, for the baby.

You think so?

Mm-hmm. It relaxes me, and if I'm relaxed, so is he.

Makes sense.

Mmm.

[giggles]

Mmm. That feels so good.

The baby is so loving this, Van.

Oh, right there. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!

Mmm. Yeah.

Why does this sound so familiar?

It always amazes me the junk a man can accumulate.

Actually, that's mine.

He was cuter in the catalog.

Boy, there sure are a lot of memories in this old garage.

Yeah, what? Like these beat-up old golf clubs?

[chuckles] I bought those for Brock

when he was in dental school.

Oh, man.

He saw 'em in a store window, and I knew he had to have 'em.

So, I scrimped and saved and gave 'em to him on our third anniversary.

How does it go from that to dissolution of property?

Oh, we had our problems.

When I asked him to move out, it was just to give us a break.

Then he had his midlife crisis.

I thought he'd buy his motorcycle, get tired of it and come home.

Now it's here and he's not.

I'm sorry, honey. Divorce is hard.

But if it's any consolation, the second and third are much easier.

[laughs]

Now why is the sight of two women hugging so sexy?

Because men are pigs.

Well, then you must love bacon, 'cause you keep marrying us.

You know, Brock, the only reason men and women get together

is because the parts fit.

So that's all we're good for, huh?

Some of ya aren't even good at that.

All right, you two. Brock, most of your stuff is over here.

You know, Reba, my storage space at the condo is kinda tight.

Then drive it to the dump on that motorcycle.

Oh, come on. There are a lot of memories in this stuff.

Say, remember the day you gave me these?

You wrapped each club individually.

[chuckling] Yeah, I remember.

Get 'em out of here.

Fine, I'll work something out.

You know, this divorce was going just great till you showed up.

- You think I was too hard on him? - Hell no!

This is all good. You should be celebrating.

I tell you what. Tonight is girls' night out.

Oh, thanks. I don't think I'm ready for the bar scene yet.

Am I?

Hell yes.

- Reba? - Yeah?

When did Brock first start dating Barbra Jean?

Oh, I don't know. Let's see.

We separated a year ago, so it was sometime after that.

- Are you sure? - Why? What are you looking at?

It's a group picture of Brock and some other people

with leis around their neck.

Oh, that must be the dental convention in Hawaii.

I couldn't get away because of the kids.

So he took B.J.?

No. The convention was in '98. He didn't meet her till after that.

Then why is she in the picture?

I can't believe this.

[Reba] Okay, attention, shoppers.

Anything belonging to my cheatin' dog, soon-to-be-ex-husband...

is on sale now at rock-bottom prices.

How much for this old baseball card?

Mister, this is a very rare, Nolan Ryan rookie card.

My husband would die if I sold it.

One buck.

- Thanks. - You bet.

Thank you.

[chuckles]

What do you want for the golf clubs?

Keith, for you, $10.

I only have five.

Sold.

- Now, why did that feel so good? - Revenge always does.

Even at these prices, you're gonna have a nice little pile of mad money.

And I'm just mad enough to spend it all. Drinks on me tonight.

I like bitter Reba.

Reba, what is going on?

It's a garage sale.

Your stuff is flying out of here.

Hey, that's my fishing pole. Hey--

All right, everybody, put everything down and get out of my garage.

What are you, insane?

Where are my golf clubs?

Here they are. They take up less room this way.

Reba, why are you selling all my stuff?

Because most of it isn't flammable.

What did you do to her?

Who did you do in Hawaii?

Brock, let me ask you something. When did you and B.J. get together?

- Oh, come on. We've been through this. - Come on. Tell me when.

I don't know, uh, 10 months ago, after she started working for me. Why?

So, you never knew her before you hired her?

Well, of course not.

You're a liar.

Recognize the woman in the beret?

Reba, where'd this come from?

Wrong answer.

No. I know this looks bad, but it's not what it seems.

Oh, come on, Brock.

She's standing right there in front of you.

But, it's impossible. I didn't even know her back then.

I did not have sex with that woman.

I didn't. Well, not then. Look, I didn't even know her.

Reba, I swear I am telling the truth.

Look, Brock, I've cut you a lot of slack because we've been married for 20 years

and have three beautiful children together.

But you crossed a line.

You were cheatin' on me while you were still living in our house.

No, no, no. Reba, look, you gotta listen to me now.

- Get out. - Reba, I swear I am tell--

- Get out. - Yeah, but--

Out!

Van, did the baby and I spot a brownie in the kitchen?

Yes, you did.

Can I have it?

No, you can't.

Chocolate has caffeine. That's a drug.

Van, the amount of caffeine in a brownie is, like, nothing.

Yeah, maybe to you, but to a five-ounce baby,

it's a major score.

Fine. I'll just watch TV.

- [clicks] - [whimsical music playing]

Oh, no, no, no. No cartoons. They're way too violent.

That dog has a giant mallet behind its back.

[TV turns off]

Van, the baby's in my uterus, not in a pouch looking out.

Okay. It still can affect him.

We need to cut way back on TV.

Let me get this straight.

You want me to give up chocolate and television?

What's next, sex?

About that--

- Oh, no, no, no. - Hey, I like it too, but...

knowing he's right there suddenly makes it weird.

- Please. - Why are you fighting me on this?

You're starting to get annoying.

You didn't complain when I brushed your hair.

That was far less annoying.

- Okay, maybe I'm going a little overboard. - [sighs]

But I wanna be the best father this baby's ever had.

You have no idea how happy that makes me.

But other stuff makes me happy too.

Yeah, I'll admit I'm having second thoughts on sex.

Mmm. Thank goodness. [chuckles]

But only late at night when the baby's sleeping.

And you have to be very quiet.

Hey, I am not the one screaming, "Go, Van."

[Lori Ann] Let's grab that table.

Reba, you have got to quit dwelling on Brock.

What you're doing to yourself isn't healthy.

Bartender, two shots of tequila.

I'm trying, Lori Ann, but it's not easy.

I look back on my life

and wonder how many other lives there were.

That fishing trip he took every year. Was he after bass or B.J.?

[wheezy cough]

And those dental emergencies. Just exactly who was he drilling?

Honey, stop torturing yourself.

The important thing is you're moving on.

That was mine.

I trusted that man.

I swear, if they were right in front of me,

I'd throttle the both of 'em.

Would you settle for one?

Hello, Reba.

What are you doing here?

Oh, wait. I know.

You're waitin' to see if I meet a man

so you can snatch him away from me.

Reba, I understand why you're suddenly so angry at me.

[forced laugh] Suddenly?

But I'm not here on my own behalf.

I'm here because of Brock. I've never seen him so upset.

B.J., I have nothing to say to you.

As for Brock, my lawyer will do the talkin'.

You go, girl.

Reba, I was not at that convention with Brock.

In fact, I didn't even know Brock back then.

I didn't believe Brock and guess what? I don't believe you either.

- But it's the truth. - B.J., you were there!

Whoo.

You were in the picture.

I know. But not with Brock.

I was there with somebody else's husband.

What?

Little old bald man to my right. Dr. Schneider.

Look, there are things I've done in my life

that I'm not very proud of.

It's why I turned to God.

But, unfortunately, before I found Jesus,

I found Dr. Turner, Dr. Baker,

Dr. Martino and Dr. Simpson.

Well, Dr. Schneider you already know about.

The girl's a tooth tart.

I would just die if Brock ever found out about my past.

If she's tellin' the truth, she just put a grenade in your hand.

Brock and I worked together until he moved into the condo.

He would never have done what you think.

B.J.?

It's been a while.

Dr. Gomez.

I gotta go.

[keys rattling]

Hey, Mom. How was your night?

Interesting.

Why're you sleeping down here?

Because I couldn't sleep upstairs.

Van kept waking me up to ask how I was sleeping.

I remember when I was pregnant with you,

your father got a little nuts too.

[exhales]

Do you know he would actually carry me around

so I wouldn't get tired?

Oh, I should've thought of that.

And then when I would get tired, I'd fall asleep in his arms.

And when I'd wake up, I'd find him there just staring at me.

I'd open my eyes and there he'd be,

just smilin' and starin'.

That is so sweet.

Yeah, it was.

[knocking]

Reba.

Well, just don't stand there. These things are heavy.

So, this is what the old condo looks like?

It's nothing like I thought it'd be.

Why, what you'd think it'd be like?

The Playboy mansion.

Brock, I jumped to conclusions yesterday, and...

I'm sorry.

Well...

given the circumstances, I guess it wasn't that far a jump.

So what changed your mind?

It doesn't matter. What does matter is I believe you.

Well, thanks. It means a lot to me.

I know we've gone our separate ways,

but it doesn't erase what we had.

Yeah, we had a lot of great years together.

You know, after what I've done, it's gonna sound kinda crazy,

but, in a way...

I still love you.

I know you do.

But things are different now, and it's time for both of us to move on.

Come by later and pick up the stuff that didn't sell.

Hey, Reba?

Thanks for the golf clubs.

You're welcome.

Oh, and you owe me a hundred dollars for 'em.

That kid, Keith, he's a crook.

[closing theme music playing]