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1
00:00:12,742 --> 00:00:14,641
J.P. Morgan.
Thank you.
2
00:00:26,487 --> 00:00:30,595
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
3
00:00:30,733 --> 00:00:34,530
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
4
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,463
♪ Let's take each other's hand
5
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:40,501
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
6
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,503
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
7
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,540
♪ Yeah! ♪
8
00:00:48,402 --> 00:00:49,921
That's what I like to hear
on a checkup,
9
00:00:50,059 --> 00:00:52,475
the pregnancy's
going very well.
10
00:00:52,613 --> 00:00:54,063
I could've just told you
about this one on the phone.
11
00:00:54,201 --> 00:00:55,237
You didn't
need to come.
12
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:57,308
That's all right.
I like coming with you.
13
00:00:57,446 --> 00:00:59,620
Makes me feel like
I'm part of this thing.
14
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,243
Don't you anyway?
15
00:01:01,381 --> 00:01:03,210
Ah, well, frankly,
sometimes you and the baby
16
00:01:03,348 --> 00:01:04,694
get a little cliquish.
17
00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:05,868
[CHUCKLES]
18
00:01:08,008 --> 00:01:09,285
What?
19
00:01:09,423 --> 00:01:10,804
You know what
you're getting?
20
00:01:10,942 --> 00:01:12,323
The glow.
21
00:01:12,461 --> 00:01:15,567
You're getting that...
That pregnant woman glow.
I am?
22
00:01:15,705 --> 00:01:17,190
Yeah. I think tonight
I may read by you.
23
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,295
[LAUGHS]
24
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:20,918
I'm getting more
than the glow.
25
00:01:21,056 --> 00:01:22,747
Pretty soon we have to
start telling people.
26
00:01:22,885 --> 00:01:25,646
We will.
When?
27
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,614
When we said. You know,
a couple of months.
28
00:01:27,752 --> 00:01:28,788
Yeah, a couple
of months ago.
29
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:32,308
Well, then,
I guess now.
30
00:01:32,446 --> 00:01:33,723
Really?
We're telling people?
31
00:01:33,862 --> 00:01:36,278
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Oh, I don't know.
Are we?
32
00:01:40,869 --> 00:01:42,802
We're having
a baby.
33
00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:44,320
[CHUCKLES]
34
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:45,805
Well, congratulations.
35
00:01:47,323 --> 00:01:48,877
I guess we are.
36
00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:55,504
Oh, let it go.
She's a total stranger.
37
00:01:55,642 --> 00:01:56,746
Yeah, but
you don't know that.
38
00:01:56,885 --> 00:01:58,921
She could know
somebody we know.
39
00:01:59,059 --> 00:02:00,958
It's like that
Kevin Bacon game.
40
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:04,409
What is that,
you drink a shot
every time he does something?
41
00:02:04,547 --> 00:02:05,997
No, that's Bob Newhart.
42
00:02:06,135 --> 00:02:08,586
Kevin Bacon...
43
00:02:08,724 --> 00:02:10,243
Kevin Bacon,
the game is
44
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,659
you can connect any
movie star to Kevin Bacon
in three steps.
45
00:02:12,797 --> 00:02:13,902
Like Robin Williams?
46
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,593
Robin Williams
was in Garp
47
00:02:15,731 --> 00:02:18,423
with John Lithgow,
who was in Footloose
with Kevin Bacon.
48
00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:20,840
Okay?
Marlon Brando.
49
00:02:20,978 --> 00:02:22,496
Marlon Brando
was in Superman
50
00:02:22,634 --> 00:02:24,050
with Ned Beatty,
51
00:02:24,188 --> 00:02:26,431
who did Deliverance
with Burt Reynolds,
52
00:02:26,569 --> 00:02:28,157
who made Striptease
with Demi Moore,
53
00:02:28,295 --> 00:02:30,573
who did A Few Good Men
with Kevin Bacon.
54
00:02:32,196 --> 00:02:33,853
You have too much
time on your hands.
55
00:02:33,991 --> 00:02:36,856
The point is if Marlon Brando
is four steps away
from Kevin Bacon,
56
00:02:36,994 --> 00:02:39,548
that woman could know
somebody that we know.
57
00:02:39,686 --> 00:02:41,653
They get to talking,
they realize they
both know us,
58
00:02:41,791 --> 00:02:43,103
she tells them
we're pregnant...
59
00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:44,933
Boom,
our secret blown.
60
00:02:45,071 --> 00:02:46,935
I'll risk it.
61
00:02:47,073 --> 00:02:50,490
Maybe I'm just upset
'cause you got to
tell the first person.
62
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,182
You know what?
I'll call somebody.
I'll feel better.
63
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,944
No, no, no, no, no,
you can't just start
calling people up.
64
00:02:56,082 --> 00:02:58,912
Why not?
Because people are very funny
about this sort of thing.
65
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,431
Do you remember when
your mom found out
66
00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:02,329
she wasn't the first person
to hear about our engagement?
67
00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:04,676
That was a rough
couple of years.
68
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:07,887
We have to handle this
very carefully,
69
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:11,028
or there could be
a lot of hurt feelings.
70
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:13,133
I can't believe we got
all this food for one meal.
71
00:03:13,271 --> 00:03:14,445
It's Thanksgiving.
72
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:16,136
Hey, it's Thanksgiving.
73
00:03:16,274 --> 00:03:17,413
Everybody's gonna be
over here anyway.
74
00:03:17,551 --> 00:03:19,174
Why don't we just
tell 'em then?
75
00:03:19,312 --> 00:03:21,279
See, now you're thinking.
That's very clever.
Nobody gets hurt.
76
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:22,418
Exactly.
77
00:03:22,556 --> 00:03:24,351
Why Kevin Bacon anyway?
78
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:26,906
Huh? Oh, apparently
they tried it with
Mickey Rourke.
79
00:03:27,044 --> 00:03:28,286
It didn't take.
80
00:03:32,808 --> 00:03:34,327
Oh, by the way, Paulie,
I'm, uh...
81
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,501
I'm not gonna be able to
make it to Thanksgiving.
82
00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:38,331
Why not?
83
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,677
I have a date.
84
00:03:39,815 --> 00:03:40,920
On Thanksgiving?
85
00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:43,094
Yeah. What,
that makes me a pervert?
86
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,374
No, I'm not...
I'm not judging, it's just...
87
00:03:48,410 --> 00:03:49,411
Bring her along.
88
00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:51,240
Ah, we got a big night
planned, Paulie.
89
00:03:51,378 --> 00:03:54,278
We got
the honeymoon suite
at the Pierre.
90
00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:55,382
Can you get out of it?
91
00:03:57,246 --> 00:03:59,007
Yeah, I could.
If I was an idiot.
92
00:03:59,145 --> 00:04:01,043
[CHUCKLES]
93
00:04:01,181 --> 00:04:03,943
It's just that it would...
It would mean a lot
to Jamie and me.
94
00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:05,220
Yeah? Why?
95
00:04:05,358 --> 00:04:07,601
Well, you know,
it's Thanksgiving.
96
00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:11,502
So what?
Paulie, you've had, like,
80 Thanksgivings in a row.
97
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,022
Yeah, well, maybe there's...
There's a reason
98
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,300
that this one's
gonna be special.
99
00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:18,060
Oh, yeah?
Your family gonna be there?
100
00:04:18,198 --> 00:04:19,268
Sure.
101
00:04:19,406 --> 00:04:20,407
You gonna have turkey?
102
00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:21,719
Yeah.
103
00:04:21,857 --> 00:04:23,203
Well, you're right.
That does sound special.
104
00:04:25,378 --> 00:04:27,380
Maybe there's
some reason
105
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,657
you don't want to
miss this one.
106
00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:29,934
Yeah?
What kind of reason?
107
00:04:31,418 --> 00:04:32,868
No reason. No reason.
Just...
108
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,112
You know what?
Come. Don't come.
I don't really care.
109
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,390
Wait... Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
110
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,805
You know what's strange?
111
00:04:38,943 --> 00:04:40,462
Yeah. Having a date
on Thanksgiving.
112
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,704
No.
113
00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:43,085
For a year
you and James
114
00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,363
have talked about nothing
but trying to have a kid.
115
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:48,884
And then suddenly,
you stop talking
about it altogether,
116
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,437
and now there's
some special reason?
117
00:04:51,369 --> 00:04:52,405
So?
Well...
118
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,647
What?
Please.
119
00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:54,890
What?
Just say it.
120
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,029
Say what?
Come on.
121
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,306
Say what?
James and I...
122
00:04:57,444 --> 00:04:58,445
Are having
Thanksgiving...
Are pregnant.
123
00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,550
No, we're not.
Pregnant.
124
00:04:59,688 --> 00:05:00,930
No. No.
We're not...
125
00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:02,725
Yes, yes, okay!
We're pregnant.
126
00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:05,418
Really?
127
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,591
Now, listen to me!
128
00:05:06,729 --> 00:05:08,697
You cannot tell
anybody about this.
129
00:05:08,835 --> 00:05:10,285
If Jamie finds out
I told you,
130
00:05:10,423 --> 00:05:12,804
I swear my...
My kid will only
know me through stories.
131
00:05:12,942 --> 00:05:14,875
Why? What's the big deal?
You gonna tell people,
or aren't you?
132
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,361
Yes, but we just...
We don't want this
information to get out
133
00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:18,638
before it's supposed to.
134
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,743
Information?
What information?
135
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,055
That the, uh,
the Pierre
136
00:05:22,193 --> 00:05:24,506
is having a big
Thanksgiving thing.
Oh.
137
00:05:27,957 --> 00:05:29,890
You called Fran?
I called Fran.
138
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,892
All right.
This is gonna be
such a relief.
139
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,516
I don't know how much longer
either of us could
keep this a secret.
140
00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:37,450
Yeah, well, it's the
worst with your mom.
Ah, most things are.
141
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:41,178
No, no, no. She is relentless.
I just have to avoid her
until the news is out.
142
00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:43,835
Well, you know,
if you did crack
and tell one person,
143
00:05:43,973 --> 00:05:45,389
I would...
I would really understand.
144
00:05:48,185 --> 00:05:49,565
No, no, no,
I won't.
145
00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:51,740
No, but really,
I wouldn't even be mad.
146
00:05:51,878 --> 00:05:53,086
It's not an issue.
147
00:05:53,224 --> 00:05:54,605
All right. Well,
just so you know.
148
00:05:55,571 --> 00:05:56,814
And, like...
149
00:05:56,952 --> 00:05:57,987
You know, I'm sure if
I slipped and told somebody,
150
00:05:58,126 --> 00:05:59,127
I'm sure
you would understand.
151
00:06:01,025 --> 00:06:02,268
You didn't?
152
00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:03,407
No, no, no.
153
00:06:03,924 --> 00:06:04,960
Good.
154
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,102
Maybe Ira.
Paul!
155
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,621
I didn't mean...
You weren't there.
156
00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:13,037
He was all over me.
It wasn't human.
Oh, God!
157
00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:14,142
Great.
158
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,420
So figure by now,
Ira's told Burt,
159
00:06:16,558 --> 00:06:18,387
who, God forbid,
has told Sylvia,
160
00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,286
who's probably
told Debbie...
161
00:06:20,424 --> 00:06:22,046
Told her boss, whose cousin
is Meryl Streep, who was
in The River Wildwith
162
00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:23,806
Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon.
163
00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:33,218
PAUL: Ira.
Hey.
164
00:06:33,356 --> 00:06:35,220
Jamie and I have
something to ask you.
165
00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:37,015
If you tell a single soul,
I'll kill you.
166
00:06:38,119 --> 00:06:39,707
Really more of
a statement, actually.
167
00:06:39,845 --> 00:06:41,019
What are you talking about?
168
00:06:41,157 --> 00:06:42,538
Paul told me
he told you.
169
00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,332
Told me what?
170
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,265
It's okay.
She knows.
171
00:06:46,404 --> 00:06:47,577
Knows what?
172
00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:49,786
Ira, I know you know
I'm pregnant.
173
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:52,824
James!
You're pregnant?
174
00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:54,619
Congratulations!
175
00:06:54,757 --> 00:06:56,241
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
176
00:06:56,379 --> 00:06:57,587
So you haven't
told anyone?
177
00:06:57,725 --> 00:07:00,003
Hey. Did I just
prove nothing to you?
178
00:07:00,141 --> 00:07:01,246
He's got a very
good point there.
179
00:07:01,384 --> 00:07:03,317
Really? No one?
No one.
180
00:07:03,455 --> 00:07:05,699
Well, in the interest
of total honesty,
181
00:07:05,837 --> 00:07:07,839
I did tell one guy.
Oh, my God, who?
182
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:10,773
Oh, relax.
He's completely outside
your sphere.
183
00:07:10,911 --> 00:07:12,326
Who did you tell?
184
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:15,260
What? The guy who cuts
my hair on the corner.
Arturo?
185
00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,089
Yeah.
How'd you know?
186
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:19,471
I recommended him
to you!
187
00:07:19,609 --> 00:07:22,405
Oh.
Whoops.
188
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,683
What are you doing,
going to Jamie's guy?
189
00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:27,721
What? He's a magician.
Feel this.
I don't wanna feel it.
190
00:07:27,859 --> 00:07:30,655
Oh, my God.
Lisa recommended him to me.
191
00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:33,381
James,
let the information
flow naturally.
192
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,728
We're all adults here.
Yeah, right.
193
00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:36,039
No, we're adults,
194
00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:38,386
and you're a big, stupid,
secret-telling baby.
195
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,319
Would you come on?
Huh?
196
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:45,428
So she's telling me
how much her husband
loves her,
197
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,534
and I just
got through cutting
his girlfriend's hair.
198
00:07:47,672 --> 00:07:48,673
[BOTH LAUGHING]
199
00:07:48,811 --> 00:07:50,226
Arturo!
Jamie!
200
00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:51,952
Whatever you do,
don't say anything...
201
00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,298
Oh, my God.
Lisa.
202
00:07:53,436 --> 00:07:54,748
You guys
even get your
hair cut together?
203
00:07:54,886 --> 00:07:56,094
That's so
codependent.
204
00:07:56,232 --> 00:07:58,268
Jamie...
205
00:07:58,406 --> 00:08:00,167
Ira was talking all
about you this morning.
206
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,858
Really?
What'd he say?
207
00:08:01,996 --> 00:08:03,964
Um, do you think that
we could talk to you
just for a minute?
208
00:08:04,102 --> 00:08:06,380
Sure. Listen,
when is the...
Somewhere in private.
209
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:08,106
Please. Maybe.
210
00:08:08,244 --> 00:08:11,005
Jamie, if this is about
you dyeing your hair,
I already know.
211
00:08:11,143 --> 00:08:12,559
I don't dye my hair.
212
00:08:13,249 --> 00:08:15,320
[LAUGHING] Okay.
213
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:16,804
Jamie,
you don't look any...
214
00:08:16,942 --> 00:08:18,116
Hey, Arturo,
215
00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:19,600
you know what
has always
fascinated me
216
00:08:19,738 --> 00:08:22,534
is the ethics
of a beauty parlor.
Mmm.
217
00:08:22,672 --> 00:08:24,778
You know,
I would imagine you
have very strict rules
218
00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:26,504
about not
repeating
something
219
00:08:26,642 --> 00:08:27,988
you hear from
one client
to another.
220
00:08:28,126 --> 00:08:29,783
Are you kidding?
221
00:08:29,921 --> 00:08:31,785
That's the only thing that
keeps me from shooting myself.
[LAUGHS]
222
00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,582
Say the people whom
the thing was about came in
223
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,756
and specifically
asked you not to.
224
00:08:38,895 --> 00:08:39,965
Ah...
225
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,450
This is about you two
having that baby!
226
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,038
[LAUGHING]
227
00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:45,730
What?
228
00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:47,214
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Oh, my God!
229
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,388
That is
so wonderful.
230
00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:50,700
Oh, my God.
Good boy!
231
00:08:50,838 --> 00:08:52,564
[CHUCKLES]
232
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:55,533
Listen, the only reason
Arturo knew before you
was because Ira happened...
233
00:08:55,671 --> 00:08:56,948
You know what?
It doesn't even matter.
234
00:08:57,086 --> 00:08:58,466
Please, don't even
give it a second thought.
235
00:08:58,605 --> 00:08:59,916
Thank you.
236
00:09:00,054 --> 00:09:01,297
Hold it!
237
00:09:01,435 --> 00:09:04,058
Ira knew before I did?
238
00:09:04,196 --> 00:09:06,026
Yes.
You guys blow.
239
00:09:07,199 --> 00:09:08,546
You have to
do me a favor.
240
00:09:08,684 --> 00:09:10,133
You have to promise
not to tell this news
to anyone.
241
00:09:10,271 --> 00:09:11,928
Oh, okay.
Now, I mean it.
242
00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:13,309
Seriously.
243
00:09:13,447 --> 00:09:16,484
What? I can
keep a secret.
244
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,763
Did you know that
Sanford wet his bed
up until college?
245
00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,904
No, because I
can keep a secret.
246
00:09:22,042 --> 00:09:26,149
Lisa, you are going
to have to grow
as a person here.
247
00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:28,635
You can't tell a soul.
Promise me.
248
00:09:30,878 --> 00:09:31,845
Okay.
I promise.
249
00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:33,536
Thank you.
Thank you.
250
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,538
Did you...
Excuse me.
251
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,575
Did you
tell anybody?
252
00:09:37,713 --> 00:09:41,061
I think I said something to
a guy who came in after Ira.
He was a car salesman.
253
00:09:41,199 --> 00:09:43,132
Do you remember
anything else
about him?
254
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,686
His scalp
was very dry.
255
00:09:45,824 --> 00:09:47,032
Do you remember
anything about him
256
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,137
not pertaining
to his hair?
257
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:49,310
His name?
258
00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:50,588
Uh...
Yes...
259
00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:52,175
Mel Slotkin.
260
00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:53,832
Mel Slotkin.
Mel Slotkin.
261
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:55,834
Do we know
any car salesman
named Mel Slotkin?
262
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,042
No.
All right.
263
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,699
So, you know what?
We'll let that one go.
264
00:09:58,837 --> 00:10:00,563
Hey, hey, hey,
who does your hair?
265
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,978
Who... Why?
266
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:03,221
JAMIE: Hey!
267
00:10:03,359 --> 00:10:05,775
Ooh. Gotta go.
Who were you talking to?
268
00:10:05,913 --> 00:10:08,260
Just Sanford.
Did you tell him?
269
00:10:09,054 --> 00:10:10,642
Uh-huh.
270
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:12,610
What, you hold out
for 10 seconds?
271
00:10:12,748 --> 00:10:13,921
I couldn't help it.
272
00:10:14,059 --> 00:10:16,165
Well,
call him back.
Oh...
273
00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:17,545
You see this mousse?
Mmm-hmm.
274
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,478
You put this in,
it disappears.
275
00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:23,621
No one knows you wear it,
makes you look handsome,
people don't know why.
276
00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:25,277
Hey, honey? Listen...
277
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:28,246
You can't say a word about
what I just told you, okay?
Don't...
278
00:10:28,384 --> 00:10:31,525
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet.
279
00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:33,872
Okay.
Guess what
Sanford just did.
280
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,979
What?
Well, he called this
muzak station he listens to,
281
00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:38,428
you know, WDED,
282
00:10:38,566 --> 00:10:40,154
and he dedicated
a song to you.
283
00:10:40,292 --> 00:10:41,742
Oh, God, to us?
Yeah.
284
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,917
You're Having My Babyto Paul and Jamie Buchman
285
00:10:44,055 --> 00:10:45,608
Oh, my God!
286
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,921
Great. So now
only people with
electricity will know.
287
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:49,577
Oh, God.
288
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,614
Not to mention
they have to listen to
You're Having My Baby.
289
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,547
Gimme that.
I'm gonna call the
station and stop it.
290
00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,100
You probably
won't get through.
291
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,515
It's five blocks away.
I can be there
in five minutes.
292
00:10:56,654 --> 00:10:57,655
Godspeed, woman.
293
00:11:00,002 --> 00:11:02,383
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait! [SIGHS]
294
00:11:02,521 --> 00:11:03,764
James?
295
00:11:03,902 --> 00:11:05,628
Oh, for God's sake.
296
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,526
Fran!
Hi!
297
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:08,838
I missed you.
298
00:11:12,566 --> 00:11:14,154
FEMALE DJ: [OVER RADIO]
Now here's an
old favorite of mine,
299
00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:16,950
and you know what it always
means when we play it.
300
00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:18,606
♪ Having my baby
301
00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:25,441
♪ What a lovely way of saying
What you're thinking of me
302
00:11:26,614 --> 00:11:28,547
♪ I can see it
303
00:11:29,652 --> 00:11:32,620
♪ Your face is glowing ♪
304
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,415
Fran, we'll get together.
Right now...
I know.
305
00:11:34,553 --> 00:11:37,004
You're too busy.
You've been meaning to call.
There's no time.
306
00:11:37,142 --> 00:11:39,731
Look, if you're
tired of me, then just
do the humane thing.
307
00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:41,250
Cut me loose
right now.
308
00:11:41,388 --> 00:11:43,217
Fran, you're my friend.
You're my best friend.
309
00:11:43,355 --> 00:11:45,254
But right now I've got to go,
I'm sorry!
310
00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:48,706
♪ I can see it
311
00:11:50,121 --> 00:11:51,812
♪ Your face is glowing
Hey!
312
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:53,952
Hello! Hello!
313
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,436
♪ I can see it
314
00:11:55,574 --> 00:11:56,748
Hello!
315
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,096
Hello! Hello!
316
00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:02,478
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
317
00:12:02,616 --> 00:12:04,480
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
318
00:12:04,618 --> 00:12:06,758
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
319
00:12:09,692 --> 00:12:11,452
♪ Having my baby ♪
320
00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:13,523
That's You're
Having My Baby,
321
00:12:13,661 --> 00:12:17,251
going out to Paul
and Jamie Buchman
from Sanford and Lisa.
322
00:12:17,389 --> 00:12:18,494
Congratulations.
323
00:12:18,632 --> 00:12:19,909
[SHRIEKING]
324
00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:31,826
Hiya, Pop.
Hi.
325
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:35,105
What did you do
to your hair?
326
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,280
You like it?
327
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:38,592
Well...
328
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,007
Do you think I'm handsome,
but you don't know why?
329
00:12:43,907 --> 00:12:45,461
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
330
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,015
That's what I'm goin' for.
Hey! You wanna play
poker tonight?
331
00:12:49,154 --> 00:12:51,432
Tonight? Oh,
you know what,
Poppy, I can't.
332
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:52,606
Are you still playing
with the same guys?
333
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,021
Yeah, you know,
same as usual.
334
00:12:54,159 --> 00:12:56,782
Miller, Bryant,
Slotkin, Campanella.
335
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,197
Slotkin?
336
00:12:58,335 --> 00:13:00,061
Yeah, Mel Slotkin.
Oh, he's a cheater.
337
00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:04,721
Mel Slotkin.
Does he have dry scalp?
338
00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:07,241
How the hell
would I know?
How would I know?
339
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:10,175
He's just a crooked
car dealer who wormed
his way into our game.
340
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:11,659
He's a car dealer?
Yeah.
341
00:13:11,797 --> 00:13:13,454
You know what,
I think I will
stop by for a few hands.
342
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,111
Oh, good, good, good.
343
00:13:15,249 --> 00:13:16,733
Okay.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING]
344
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:19,909
Ira, shut up.
345
00:13:20,047 --> 00:13:22,359
Ira, who's watching
the register?
346
00:13:22,498 --> 00:13:23,775
There's nobody here,
uncle Burt.
347
00:13:23,913 --> 00:13:26,674
Why don't you just put out
the "please rob me" sign?
348
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,920
Hey, Paulie, James
get the flowers I sent?
349
00:13:32,404 --> 00:13:34,544
You sent her flowers?
Yeah.
350
00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:35,890
To the apartment?
351
00:13:36,028 --> 00:13:37,064
Yeah. Wait till
you see the card.
352
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:38,617
It's a little
blue and pink and...
353
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,999
Ira, Debbie's
in the apartment
right now making pies.
354
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:44,105
So what?
So she'll read the card.
She'll know.
355
00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:45,900
Paulie, would you
just give it up?
356
00:13:46,038 --> 00:13:48,938
This is like a virus.
Information is spreading
all over the place.
357
00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:52,251
You know, there's a monkey
in Africa who knows
you're pregnant.
358
00:13:57,222 --> 00:13:58,188
Hi.
359
00:13:58,326 --> 00:13:59,327
Oh, Paul.
360
00:13:59,465 --> 00:14:00,743
Make fun of my hair,
I'll slap ya.
361
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,848
No. No, it's good.
362
00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,263
Yeah, all right, good.
Whatever.
363
00:14:04,401 --> 00:14:06,680
Did we get any...
A package come
for Jamie or me?
364
00:14:06,818 --> 00:14:08,198
No. You were
expecting something?
365
00:14:08,336 --> 00:14:09,821
Uh, no.
366
00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:12,133
Then why...
Just because we get
packages constantly.
367
00:14:12,271 --> 00:14:13,272
Shut up.
PAUL: Literally.
368
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:14,722
Like the phrase,
"Did anything come?"
369
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,482
That's pretty much
replaced "hello"
around here.
370
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:18,657
Paul, are you
all right?
371
00:14:18,795 --> 00:14:20,038
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
372
00:14:20,176 --> 00:14:21,246
I just...
373
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:22,696
Maybe a little
pre-Thanksgiving stress.
374
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,145
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
375
00:14:24,283 --> 00:14:26,251
I'm fine. Why?
Hello.
376
00:14:26,389 --> 00:14:28,011
How could you?
377
00:14:28,149 --> 00:14:30,220
How could I what?
What?
378
00:14:30,358 --> 00:14:33,085
You two are having a baby,
and you didn't tell me.
379
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:37,503
Oh, gee, uh, Theresa,
um, I'm so sorry.
380
00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:39,505
Sorry about what?
381
00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:40,817
How long have you known?
382
00:14:40,955 --> 00:14:42,336
Um, three...
383
00:14:42,474 --> 00:14:43,475
Months?
384
00:14:43,958 --> 00:14:45,615
Yes.
385
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:47,583
THERESA: [OVER PHONE]
Are you telling me
that all the time
386
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:52,139
my marriage was crumbling
you knew this, and you
didn't even bother to tell me?
387
00:14:52,277 --> 00:14:54,244
I... You know...
THERESA: It's all right.
388
00:14:54,382 --> 00:14:57,972
It was rather enjoyable
hearing about it on the radio.
389
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,837
Again, I can only
apologize about that.
390
00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:03,012
My little girl
is having a baby.
391
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,254
Oh!
392
00:15:04,392 --> 00:15:05,393
[LAUGHS]
Uh, yeah.
393
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:06,843
Do you know what
that makes me?
394
00:15:06,981 --> 00:15:09,466
Yeah, that
makes you, um...
395
00:15:09,605 --> 00:15:11,607
Um, one of those
women-people.
396
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,161
You can say the word.
I don't mind.
397
00:15:14,299 --> 00:15:16,094
In fact I wanna hear it.
I wanna hear it.
398
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:17,682
Say it, Paul.
What word?
399
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:19,131
Well, you know...
400
00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,168
Well, it makes you a...
401
00:15:21,306 --> 00:15:22,756
[OVEN DINGS]
There's a pie.
402
00:15:22,894 --> 00:15:24,896
You know what?
I gotta go.
403
00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:26,483
Okay. Bye.
404
00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,209
Paul, what was
that about?
405
00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:29,417
That...
That was nothing.
406
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,281
Nothing?
That was nothing.
407
00:15:31,419 --> 00:15:32,558
None
of your business.
408
00:15:32,697 --> 00:15:34,077
You're not gonna tell me?
PAUL: No.
409
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:35,320
How can you not tell me?
410
00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:37,149
Because when you
need to know, you'll know.
411
00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:38,841
Fine. Fine.
412
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,188
If that's the way you're
gonna be, that's fine.
413
00:15:41,326 --> 00:15:42,776
Hey, Deb, I'm
a big boy now.
414
00:15:42,914 --> 00:15:45,226
If I have a secret
I don't wanna tell ya,
you can't make me.
415
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:48,816
Fine. But sisters
whose brothers
keep secrets from them
416
00:15:48,954 --> 00:15:50,749
don't help with
the Thanksgiving pies.
417
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:53,407
I didn't know
that was a rule.
418
00:15:53,545 --> 00:15:54,788
Hello.
419
00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:56,652
Yes.
Excuse me!
420
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,757
I believe
these are yours.
Thank you. I got it. Okay.
421
00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:00,656
Would you please have
your delivery people
422
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,071
be more precise
in future?
423
00:16:02,209 --> 00:16:04,521
This exact same thing
happened in 1991
424
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,695
with that muffin basket.
425
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:07,007
Sorry about that.
Gimme the card.
426
00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:08,077
No!
Gimme that card.
427
00:16:08,215 --> 00:16:09,147
No.
Debbie, give it to me.
428
00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:10,458
What a wonderful
role model
429
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:12,081
you're going to be
for this child.
430
00:16:12,219 --> 00:16:13,772
Child?
I'm afraid so.
431
00:16:16,982 --> 00:16:20,227
I swear you and Ira are
the only ones who know.
432
00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:22,160
[COUGHS OSTENTATIOUSLY]
And her.
433
00:16:23,437 --> 00:16:26,923
Two things, one,
congratulations, Paulie.
434
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:29,581
This is wonderful news.
I'm so happy I could cry.
435
00:16:29,719 --> 00:16:30,962
[LAUGHS]
Thank you.
436
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,653
Two, you're
a son of a bitch.
437
00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:35,794
Hey, Deb...
438
00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:37,693
What have you done
to your hair?
439
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,557
I'm so tired of you.
440
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,285
I haven't seen her
in forever,
441
00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:46,460
and she just blows me off.
442
00:16:46,598 --> 00:16:48,358
What could've been
so important?
443
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,540
I've set up the pizza
in the kitchen,
444
00:16:57,678 --> 00:16:59,231
which is exactly where
you'll be eating it
445
00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:01,371
because I don't want
stains on the carpet.
446
00:17:01,509 --> 00:17:03,201
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm leaving
447
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:06,929
before the universe ends
from a woman being
at a poker game.
448
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,378
Let's eat.
449
00:17:08,516 --> 00:17:10,173
Pizza?
I shouldn't.
450
00:17:10,311 --> 00:17:11,519
I got
an occlusion.
451
00:17:11,657 --> 00:17:14,039
You coming,
Slotkin?
Give me a minute.
452
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,637
Sylvia. Sylvia...
453
00:17:25,775 --> 00:17:27,639
Let me show you a picture
of my new grandson.
454
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,504
Oh,
he's beautiful.
455
00:17:30,642 --> 00:17:31,781
Yeah, isn't he?
456
00:17:31,919 --> 00:17:33,438
Yeah,
would you like
to see a picture
457
00:17:33,576 --> 00:17:34,750
of my
new grandson?
458
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,441
Yeah.
So would I.
459
00:17:40,031 --> 00:17:41,273
Mom, hi.
Oh.
460
00:17:41,411 --> 00:17:43,310
Where you going?
I'm going to
your wife's house
461
00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:46,796
to help her prepare
the only Thanksgiving dinner
in America
462
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,936
without a kiddie table.
463
00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:51,214
All right,
but don't try and talk...
All right.
464
00:17:52,975 --> 00:17:54,217
Hi.
Hey.
465
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:55,529
Is my dad
in there?
466
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:56,979
You're Burt's son.
467
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,808
The one having the baby.
468
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:00,120
Mel Slotkin.
469
00:18:00,258 --> 00:18:01,638
Yeah.
Yeah, hi. Okay.
470
00:18:01,777 --> 00:18:03,330
Listen...
About that, I would
really appreciate it
471
00:18:03,468 --> 00:18:04,987
if you didn't tell
my father about it.
472
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,818
[SCOFFS] I wouldn't
give Burt the satisfaction.
473
00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:11,441
He and I have
a lot of bad blood.
474
00:18:13,443 --> 00:18:15,618
Well, whatever the motivation,
it's just that
475
00:18:15,756 --> 00:18:17,206
we're not really
telling people yet,
476
00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:19,380
so I think he would be hurt
if he found out from...
477
00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:21,106
Oh, if it
will hurt him...
478
00:18:21,244 --> 00:18:23,488
Excuse me.
Wait, wait wait.
Wait a second.
479
00:18:23,626 --> 00:18:25,007
You can't tell him.
480
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:27,147
Yes, I can.
481
00:18:27,285 --> 00:18:29,011
Right, I grant you
that physically you can.
482
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,184
I'm just saying...
483
00:18:30,322 --> 00:18:31,876
Come on. Morally?
[SCOFFS]
484
00:18:32,324 --> 00:18:33,429
Ethically?
485
00:18:35,017 --> 00:18:36,501
I'll pay you
not to.
How much?
486
00:18:37,329 --> 00:18:38,641
50 bucks?
A hundred.
487
00:18:39,538 --> 00:18:40,643
75.
488
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:42,921
For 75, I drop hints.
489
00:18:43,059 --> 00:18:44,889
All right, fine.
Okay, here. 100 bucks.
490
00:18:46,545 --> 00:18:49,307
Well, look who's here.
Slotkin, this is
my boy Paulie.
491
00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:51,033
Yes, we've met.
492
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,829
Dad, Dad, listen,
uh, it turns out
I can't play
493
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:54,968
'cause I gotta run home,
494
00:18:55,106 --> 00:18:56,383
gotta stop
a big thing.
495
00:19:02,423 --> 00:19:03,908
Is it that you
don't want kids?
496
00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:05,495
No, we do.
497
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:08,291
Because I have to say,
that is a very
selfish attitude.
498
00:19:08,429 --> 00:19:10,224
We want them.
We plan to have them.
499
00:19:10,362 --> 00:19:11,639
Plan? Plan when?
500
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:14,090
Soon.
"Soon."
Three months soon?
501
00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:15,851
Ten years?
Soon soon.
502
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,507
So you'll never
have a child.
503
00:19:17,645 --> 00:19:19,475
That is a choice
you can make.
504
00:19:19,613 --> 00:19:20,959
That won't happen.
505
00:19:21,097 --> 00:19:23,479
My son
will die childless.
506
00:19:23,617 --> 00:19:25,032
But the important
thing is,
507
00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:27,690
you will have had a lot
of nice dinners out.
508
00:19:27,828 --> 00:19:29,485
All right, Sylvia.
509
00:19:29,623 --> 00:19:31,245
I know I'm gonna regret this,
but the truth is...
510
00:19:31,383 --> 00:19:32,384
No, wait.
Don't. Don't. Don't.
511
00:19:32,522 --> 00:19:34,352
Don't what?
512
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:35,629
Put marshmallows
in the yams.
513
00:19:38,874 --> 00:19:40,254
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
514
00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,774
[CRYING]
Joan, what's wrong?
515
00:19:42,912 --> 00:19:43,913
Oh, nothing.
516
00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:45,777
Well, you don't cry
over nothing.
517
00:19:45,915 --> 00:19:47,917
I was on my way up
to see Paul and Jamie.
518
00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:50,333
Uh, Debbie and I had
our first big fight.
519
00:19:50,471 --> 00:19:51,645
Over what?
520
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,647
Well, I knew something,
and I didn't tell her.
521
00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:56,063
It's not good
to have secrets.
What was it?
522
00:19:56,788 --> 00:19:58,514
[CLICKS TONGUE]
523
00:19:58,652 --> 00:20:01,034
Where I come from,
they call this
524
00:20:01,172 --> 00:20:02,967
a straight flush.
525
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:04,900
[GROANS]
526
00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:06,522
[LAUGHS]
527
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,386
Your son's having a kid.
528
00:20:13,322 --> 00:20:16,014
[PAUL TAPPING ON WINE GLASS]
PAUL: Everybody, can I
have your attention, please?
529
00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:17,636
We have a little
announcement to make.
530
00:20:17,774 --> 00:20:18,983
I wonder what
that could be.
531
00:20:19,121 --> 00:20:20,605
Oh, what?
You're buying
a new house.
532
00:20:20,743 --> 00:20:22,262
All right.
All right.
533
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,642
Paul and I
534
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,886
are having a baby.
535
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:27,577
Yeah, yeah,
good for you.
536
00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:32,789
Hey, could we eat now?
537
00:20:32,928 --> 00:20:34,999
Hey, hey, come on,
this is big news.
538
00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:37,346
It's not big news.
It's old news.
539
00:20:37,484 --> 00:20:39,589
You handled this
very badly.
540
00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:41,660
Oh, come on,
let's not worry about
who found out when.
541
00:20:41,798 --> 00:20:43,145
Oh. Oh, easy for
you to say.
542
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,491
You knew
before they did.
543
00:20:44,629 --> 00:20:46,907
PAUL: Uh, all right,
all right, look,
544
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,289
admittedly we didn't
do the best job
545
00:20:49,427 --> 00:20:51,187
of making
this public, but...
546
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,361
Come on.
We're new at this.
547
00:20:52,499 --> 00:20:54,432
You know, maybe next time
we'll do better.
548
00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:57,918
But regardless of who
here found out first,
549
00:20:58,056 --> 00:21:00,541
the important thing
is that you,
550
00:21:00,679 --> 00:21:02,819
our family,
our friends,
551
00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:06,306
the people closest to us
in the world,
552
00:21:06,444 --> 00:21:09,171
you are the only
people on the planet
553
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,689
who know this information.
554
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,797
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
555
00:21:18,145 --> 00:21:19,595
Just a second.
556
00:21:20,976 --> 00:21:22,805
Is this Hal and
Maggie's apartment?
557
00:21:22,943 --> 00:21:24,531
Uh, no, actually,
they're across the hall.
558
00:21:24,669 --> 00:21:26,015
I know you!
559
00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:27,948
You're the couple
from the elevator.
560
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,191
Hey, Kev,
561
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:31,124
these are the people
I was telling you about.
562
00:21:31,262 --> 00:21:32,815
Oh, yeah!
563
00:21:37,475 --> 00:21:38,924
How you doing?
564
00:21:39,063 --> 00:21:40,857
I hear you're having
a baby. That's great.
565
00:21:48,796 --> 00:21:50,281
Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
566
00:21:56,528 --> 00:21:59,014
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
567
00:22:00,222 --> 00:22:01,257
[HOOTING]
568
00:22:03,673 --> 00:22:06,366
[CHITTERING]
569
00:22:06,504 --> 00:22:08,161
[SCREECHING]
570
00:22:09,748 --> 00:22:11,198
[CHITTERING]
571
00:22:15,513 --> 00:22:16,824
[HOOTING]
572
00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:18,619
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
573
00:22:23,038 --> 00:22:24,694
[CHIMPANZEE HOOTING]
574
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,600
[SCREECHING]
575
00:22:37,845 --> 00:22:39,330
[CHIMPANZEE HOOTING]
576
00:22:40,089 --> 00:22:42,367
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
41058
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