All language subtitles for Golden Girls S02E02 Ladies of the Evening.DVDR.NonHI.cc.en.BNVST

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:06,672 ♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND 2 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,608 ♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE ROAD AND BACK AGAIN 3 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:12,210 ♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE 4 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:16,481 ♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE 5 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:21,153 ♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY 6 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:24,155 ♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW 7 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:29,895 ♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME 8 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,764 ♪ AND THE CARD ATTACHED WOULD SAY 9 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:39,070 ♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪ 10 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:56,988 YEP. 11 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,390 YEAH. 12 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,460 UH-HUH. 13 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,529 - YEP. - WELL? 14 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,543 YOUR INFESTATION PROFILE IS THREEFOLD. 15 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,834 YOU HAVE SILVERFISH AND WATER BUGS IN THE DRAINAGE AREAS. 16 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,770 UNDER THE BASEBOARDS YOU HAVE BLATTARIA ANDROPOLIS. 17 00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:16,675 HEAR THAT? THE GREEK PRESIDENT LIVES UNDER OUR BASEBOARD. 18 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,279 BLATTARIA ANDROPOLIS IS A COCKROACH. 19 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,648 MAYBE HE'LL BE VOTED OUT NEXT ELECTION. 20 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,984 WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET RID OF THEM? 21 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,387 THE NEXT STEP IS TO ASCERTAIN THE CONDITION OF YOUR EXTERIOR. 22 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,600 FOR THIS I NEED TO PERFORM A CURSORY 23 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,293 INSPECTION OF YOUR SUBTERRANEAN SUBSTRUCTURE. 24 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:38,063 - CRAWL UNDER THE HOUSE? - EASY TO MAKE IT SOUND STUPID. 25 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,334 POOR MAN, HOW DOES HE FACE HIMSELF EVERY DAY 26 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,437 KNOWING HIS LIFE IS DEVOTED TO KILLING LIVING THINGS? 27 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,340 ROSE, I DON'T THINK A GUY WHO DRIVES AROUND 28 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,809 WITH A FIBERGLASS TERMITE ON HIS VAN 29 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,211 PONDERS MANY DEEP QUESTIONS. 30 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:57,182 - OH! - BLANCHE, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 31 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,017 OH, GIRLS, I'M JUST IN ECSTASY. 32 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,453 MY BODY IS TINGLING ALL OVER. GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED. 33 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:07,092 WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT PART OF THE MIDDLE EAST IS HE FROM? 34 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,830 I JUST WON THE RAFFLE AT THE MOVIE THEATER. 35 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,333 TICKETS TO THE PREMIERE OF BURT REYNOLDS' NEW MOVIE TOMORROW. 36 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,569 - THAT'S NICE. - YES. 37 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,705 AND PASSES FOR ME AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS 38 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,540 TO THE PRIVATE PARTY AFTERWARDS 39 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:27,745 TO BE HOSTED BY NONE OTHER THAN MR BURT REYNOLDS HIMSELF. 40 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,223 WHOO-OO! WHOO-OO! 41 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,558 WHOO-OO! WHOO-OO. 42 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,962 - SOPHIA, HONEY... - OH, NO. 43 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,699 NOT THIS TIME. I'M TIRED OF BEING TONTO OF THE GROUP. 44 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,202 I COULDN'T GET ANOTHER TICKET. 45 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:54,072 THEN THIS TIME WE'LL DRAW CARDS. I MISSED OUT ON EVITA. 46 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,575 MA, I'M NOT GIVING UP A CHANCE TO MEET BURT REYNOLDS. 47 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,545 - ME NEITHER. - ET TU, BLANCHE? 48 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,983 SOPHIA, BURT REYNOLDS IS ONE OF OUR FINEST LIVING ACTORS. 49 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,952 HE SHOULD HAVE WON THE OSCAR FOR DELIVERANCE. 50 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,955 NOT TO MENTION STARTING OVER. 51 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,756 THAT ACADEMY'S JUST JEALOUS. 52 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:16,428 PUT SIR LAURENCE OLIVIER IN CANNONBALL RUN, SEE WHAT HE CAN DO. 53 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,565 OH, I'M SORRY, SOPHIA, BUT THE ANSWER'S NO. 54 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,401 FINE. BREAK AN OLD LADY'S HEART. 55 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:26,605 I'LL BE OUT BACK WITH THE REST OF THE GARBAGE. 56 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,274 DON'T WORRY, SHE'LL GET OVER IT. 57 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,677 AND EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T, WHO CARES? 58 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,679 WE'RE GONNA MEET BURT REYNOLDS! 59 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:43,555 I ALWAYS GET THIS REACTION WHEN I WEAR THE TIGHT JUMPSUIT. 60 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,524 - WHAT DID YOU FIND? - BAD NEWS. YOU'VE GOT TERMITES. 61 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:51,195 - NO! CAN YOU GET RID OF 'EM? - HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OUR MOTTO? 62 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,998 - WHAT IS IT? - "WE GET RID OF TERMITES". 63 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:58,336 WE'LL TENT THE HOUSE. YOU'LL HAVE TO MOVE OUT FOR TWO DAYS. 64 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,272 WHERE WILL WE STAY? 65 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,341 HOW ABOUT A BEAUTIFUL HOTEL OVER ON MIAMI BEACH? 66 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:07,278 WE'RE MEETING BURT REYNOLDS. LET'S MAKE A WEEKEND OUT OF IT. 67 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,381 WE CAN'T AFFORD A HOTEL THERE. 68 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,751 I'LL FIND ONE WE CAN AFFORD. WHAT DO YOU SAY? 69 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,419 - I THINK IT'S A TERRIFIC IDEA. - OK. 70 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,956 OK, YOU CAN START TOMORROW. 71 00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:23,028 I'M OFF TO FIND US THE PERFECT HOTEL FOR OUR PERFECT WEEKEND. 72 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,931 MA, MA, A HOTEL ON THE BEACH. DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN? 73 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:30,835 I CAN GO? I DON'T GET GASSED WITH THE TERMITES? 74 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,940 OH, DOROTHY, YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD DAUGHTER. 75 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:38,309 SHE'LL GET OVER IT. AND IF SHE DOESN'T, WHO CARES? 76 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,345 WE'RE GOING TO MEET BURT REYNOLDS! 77 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:52,223 YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO THE TV OR THE WINDOW? 78 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,759 THE BED NEXT TO BURT REYNOLDS. 79 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,196 FINE, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE. 80 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:03,168 - MA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? - YEAH, YEAH. 81 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,037 JUST A LITTLE RELAPSE FROM MY PNEUMONIA. YOU REMEMBER. 82 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:11,676 I RAN SIX MILES IN THE RAIN TO BRING YOU THE CANNOLI FOR YOUR LUNCHBOX. 83 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,112 MA, PLEASE. 84 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,914 DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 85 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:19,017 YOU ALL GO SCHMOOZE WITH BURT AND HIS BUDDIES. 86 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,820 I'LL STAY HERE AND HACK MYSELF UNCONSCIOUS. 87 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,490 THAT'S BEING A GOOD SPORT. 88 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:29,561 DOROTHY, YOU THINK BURT'S GONNA LIKE THIS DRESS? 89 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,029 YEAH. 90 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:35,900 THAT PLUNGING NECKLINE WILL REALLY SHOW OFF HIS CHEST HAIR. 91 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,971 THE LAST TIME I WORE THIS WAS AT THE 1972 PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION. 92 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,840 I DANCED IN THE ARMS OF THE PRESIDENT. 93 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:46,411 THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP STILL IN HIS ARMS. 94 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,347 BLANCHE! YOU AND NIXON? 95 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,317 NIXON? YUCK! 96 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,951 NO. 97 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,354 I CAN'T EVEN PICTURE NIXON NAKED. 98 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,759 HE MUST LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE LITTLE DRESS-UP DOLLS. 99 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:06,097 LITTLE MOUNDS OF PLASTIC TO INDICATE WHERE THINGS OUGHTA BE. 100 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,568 NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT MR WILLIAM "BUSTER" COLLIER. 101 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,237 THE PRESIDENT OF THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE. 102 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,039 OH, THAT PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION. 103 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:17,642 BUSTER WANTED ME TO BE HIS FIRST LADY 104 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,612 - BUT HE DIED TWO DAYS LATER. - OH, I'M SORRY. 105 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,081 HE WAS PERFORMING HIS FIRST OFFICIAL FUNCTION: 106 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,017 BREAKING A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE OVER THE NEW TOLLBOOTH. 107 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:29,053 BUT BEFORE HE COULD STEP OUT OF THE WAY, 108 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,923 HE WAS RUN OVER BY TEN SHRINERS ON MINIBIKES 109 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,927 WHO JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE THE EXACT CHANGE. 110 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:40,265 SO MANY OF OUR GREAT LEADERS HAVE GONE THAT WAY. 111 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,501 THERE'S A STORY IN THE PAPER ABOUT THE PARTY TONIGHT. 112 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,037 - REALLY? - LOOK WHO'S GONNA BE THERE. 113 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,806 - DOM DELUISE. - WOW! 114 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,409 - LONI ANDERSON. - WOW! 115 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,678 CHARLES NELSON REILLY. 116 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,417 CHARLES NELSON REILLY! 117 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,986 WHO ELSE? 118 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,355 - JOHN FORSYTHE. - MR JOHN FORSYTHE! 119 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,659 OH, MY GOD. HE'S JUST THE SEXIEST MAN IN TELEVISION. 120 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,862 AND BURT IS THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE MOVIES. 121 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:14,999 I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. ALL THAT MANLINESS IN ONE CROWDED ROOM. 122 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,303 HOT CROWDED ROOM. EVERYBODY'S STEAMY BODIES ALL PRESSED... 123 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,272 BLANCHE, BLANCHE, BLANCHE. 124 00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:22,707 RELAX. YOU'LL SET OFF THE SMOKE DETECTOR. 125 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,212 HELLO? THIS IS ROSE NYLUND. 126 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,883 WHAT? 127 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:36,354 I'M ONE OF THE WINNERS OF THE PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE? 128 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:40,625 ED MCMAHON WANTS TO SEE ME RIGHT AWAY? 129 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:44,629 LEAVE MY BURT REYNOLDS TICKET ON THE DRESSER BEFORE I GO? 130 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,100 MA, GET OFF THE PHONE! 131 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,336 MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 132 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:56,941 GUESS WHAT. I THINK THIS IS SOPHIA. 133 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,889 WHICH ROOM'S AVAILABLE? 134 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,591 ROOM 506. 135 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,328 THE ROOM IS 50, THE YOUNG LADY'S 100. 136 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:19,864 MAKE IT QUICK. I'M NOT RUNNING A HOTEL HERE. 137 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,842 GIRLS, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE OUR HOTEL? 138 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:34,912 IT'S MUCH NICER THAN THOSE BIG CHAINS. HOW DID YOU FIND IT? 139 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,615 IT'S IN OUR PRICE RANGE, NEAR THE BEACH 140 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,552 AND IT HAD THE MOST MEN IN THE LOBBY. 141 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,455 LET'S GO. WE DON'T WANNA KEEP BURT WAITING. 142 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:47,291 WAIT A MINUTE. LET'S HAVE A QUICK DRINK IN THE BAR. 143 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:50,361 - OH, BLANCHE. - COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN. 144 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,064 OK, BUT LET'S MAKE IT QUICK. MISS. 145 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:59,271 GIRLS, YOU SEE THAT MAN OVER THERE STARING AT ME? 146 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,340 HE'S UNDRESSING ME WITH HIS EYES. 147 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:06,878 - DO YOU WANNA MOVE TABLES? - NOT YET, HE'S ONLY HALF DONE. 148 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:12,484 EXCUSE ME, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. 149 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:16,887 MY FRIENDS AND I WOULD LIKE TO BUY YOU LADIES A DRINK. 150 00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:19,624 THANK YOU, BUT WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. 151 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,828 - THIS IS CARL AND THIS IS JOHN. - WE'RE ALL FROM KENOSHA. 152 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,130 I KNOW A JOHN FROM KENOSHA. 153 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,835 I'LL BET YOU KNOW A LOT OF JOHNS. 154 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,870 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 155 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,006 IT MUST BE REGIONAL HUMOR. 156 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:39,310 - WE'RE AT THE CLOTHING SHOW. - OH, IS LEATHER BIG THIS YEAR? 157 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,179 IT IS WITH CARL. 158 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:45,016 YEAH. AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO PAY EXTRA. 159 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,489 EVEN I DON'T GET THAT ONE. 160 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,759 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 161 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,796 BLANCHE. THESE ARE MY FRIENDS ROSE AND DOROTHY. 162 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,866 SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU GIRLS BEEN WORKING? 163 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,101 THAT'S AN ODD LEAD-OFF QUESTION, CARL. 164 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:07,438 BUT ACTUALLY I'VE BEEN WORKING, OH, ABOUT 30 YEARS. 165 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,476 YOU MUST REALLY KNOW YOUR BUSINESS. 166 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,545 DOROTHY'S A VERY EXPERIENCED TEACHER. 167 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,247 EVERYBODY WHO'S HAD HER SAYS SHE'S GREAT. 168 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:22,921 LET'S GET SOME DRINKS, GO UPSTAIRS AND HAVE DOROTHY TEACH US THE THREE RS. 169 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,589 READING, WRITING, RUNNING AROUND THE BED. 170 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,793 AS ENTICING AS THE OFFER IS, 171 00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:32,296 - WE REALLY MUST PASS. - OH, SCUSAMENTE. 172 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:38,035 IF YOU LADIES DON'T WANNA PARTY, THERE ARE YOUNGER GIRLS THAT'LL TAKE OUR MONEY. 173 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:42,006 GIRLS WHO'LL TAKE THEIR MONEY. YOU KNOW WHAT HE THINKS WE ARE? 174 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,175 WAITRESSES? 175 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,178 NO, ROSE. HOOKERS! 176 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,814 GOD, THAT MUST MEAN EVERYBODY HERE IS... 177 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,650 EVERYBODY IS UNDER ARREST. IT'S A RAID. 178 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,536 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY STAY RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE. 179 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,558 THE WAGONS WILL BE HERE MOMENTARILY 180 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,341 TO TRANSPORT ALL OF YOU DOWNTOWN. 181 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:19,010 DOWNTOWN? HE MEANS JAIL! 182 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,881 OH, REALLY, ROSE. I THOUGHT HE MEANT NEIMAN MARCUS. 183 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,816 OH, I'VE NEVER BEEN IN JAIL. 184 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,887 I WON'T MAKE IT. THEY ALWAYS PREY ON THE WEAK AND INNOCENT. 185 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:33,524 THEY'LL TAUNT ME FOR TRYING TO EXCEL AT MY WORK IN THE LAUNDRY. 186 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,694 I'LL FALL IN WITH A BAD CROWD 187 00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,197 WHOSE LEADER LOOKS LIKE ETHEL MERMAN. 188 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:43,501 I'LL BE FORCED TO ENGINEER A PRISON BREAK USING MY LAUNDRY CART. 189 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,771 FROM THAT TIME ON I WON'T KNOW A MOMENT'S PEACE. 190 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,040 I'LL SCAR MY FINGERPRINTS WITH BATTERY ACID 191 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:55,513 AND RUN FROM TOWN TO TOWN TAKING JOBS THAT PEOPLE HAVE WHO GOT BAD GRADES. 192 00:11:55,615 --> 00:12:00,517 THEN ONE DAY THEY'LL FIND ME, HOLED UP IN A SHACK IN THE LOUISIANA BAYOU. 193 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:04,288 A SHERIFF NAMED BULL WILL CALL MY NAME OVER A MEGAPHONE. 194 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,458 WHEN I RUN, HE'LL RIDDLE MY BODY WITH BULLETS. 195 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,894 PLEASE DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME DOWNTOWN! 196 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,196 I WANNA LIVE! I WANNA LIVE! 197 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,601 YOU'RE NOT GOOD IN A CRISIS, ARE YOU, ROSE? 198 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,303 DOROTHY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 199 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:23,307 WE'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT THIS IS ALL A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. 200 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,110 OFFICER. 201 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:30,114 WHAT CAN I DO FOR THE SENIOR STATESMAN OF THE GROUP? 202 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,586 I'LL LET THAT PASS BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND. 203 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,889 MY FRIENDS AND I ARE TOTALLY INNOCENT. 204 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,324 - I'M INNOCENT TOO. - ME TOO. 205 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,660 QUIET, YOU TRASH. 206 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:45,964 GO ON, DOROTHY. 207 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:49,366 OFFICER, IF I COULD SEE YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT, 208 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,670 I'M SURE WE COULD SETTLE THIS MATTER TO YOUR SATISFACTION. 209 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,606 FORGET IT. I HAPPEN TO BE A MARRIED MAN. 210 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,975 ALL OF YOU DOWNTOWN. WE'RE MOVING NOW. 211 00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:02,480 OFFICER, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO SEE BURT REYNOLDS. 212 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,983 DON'T YOU DARE DRAG BURT'S GOOD NAME INTO THIS. 213 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,318 MOVE. 214 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,688 MOVE, ALL OF YOU! LET'S GO. MOVE IT. COME ON. 215 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,023 COME ON, COME ON. 216 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,298 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. ARRESTED. 217 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,833 I'VE NEVER BEEN IN JAIL IN MY LIFE. 218 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,965 RELAX, HONEY. WITH THE NOTCHES YOU MUST HAVE 219 00:13:25,989 --> 00:13:28,973 ON YOUR GARTER BELT IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. 220 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:36,180 OH, ROSE. ROSE, HONEY. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 221 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,717 I WAS BOOKED. FINGERPRINTS, MUG SHOTS. 222 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,721 I'M A KNOWN CRIMINAL. I CAN'T GO BACK TO MY HOME TOWN. 223 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,625 - NOBODY'S EVER GONNA FIND OUT. - OH, YES, THEY WILL. 224 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,660 THE ST OLAF COURIER DISPATCH 225 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:53,064 IS KNOWN FOR ITS INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING. 226 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,100 YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT SERIES THEY DID ON OAT FUNGUS 227 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,836 WAS AN UNCOMPROMISING PIECE OF JOURNALISM. 228 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,506 DAMN. I BET YOU BURT IS GREETING HIS GUESTS RIGHT NOW. 229 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,842 I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GONNA MISS IT. 230 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:07,178 I WON'T ACCEPT IT. 231 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,518 OH, EXCUSE ME. OH, OFFICER. 232 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:18,689 A GRIEVOUS INJUSTICE HAS BEEN PERPETRATED AGAINST MY FRIENDS AND ME. 233 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,458 WE ARE TOTALLY INNOCENT. 234 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,061 WE'RE JUST THREE HELPLESS FEMALES, 235 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:28,466 DESPERATELY IN NEED OF A BIG STRONG STRAPPING MAN LIKE YOURSELF. 236 00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:35,706 OOH, WHAT CUTE EARRINGS. 237 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,809 DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD GET US OUT 238 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,744 BY FLIRTING WITH THAT GUARD? 239 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,247 - YES, IF HE'D BEEN A MAN. - SURE. 240 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:47,318 IT'S ALWAYS A MAN WITH YOU. MEN AND SEX, SEX AND MEN. 241 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,421 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING CAREER-ORIENTED. 242 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:55,493 IT'S YOUR OVERACTIVE SEX DRIVE THAT GOT US INTO THIS MESS. 243 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,930 WHO PICKS A HOTEL BECAUSE OF ALL THE MEN? 244 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,903 JUST GET OFF MY BACK. YOU THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT BEING ARRESTED? 245 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,706 YOU THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT MISSING BURT REYNOLDS 246 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,809 OR ABOUT BEING LOCKED UP WITH THIS GUTTER TRASH? 247 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,078 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 248 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,115 OH... WHAT CUTE EARRINGS. 249 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,818 NOBODY CALLS ME NAMES. 250 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,222 COME ON, I'LL LET YOU HAVE THE FIRST PUNCH. 251 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,257 PUNCH? HEAVENS. 252 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,325 FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT. 253 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,728 FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! 254 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,030 YOU CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW. 255 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,999 I'M GONNA TEAR YOU APART. 256 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,735 FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! 257 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,037 LISTEN... YOU PUNK! 258 00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:44,208 YOU WANNA FIGHT, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT ME. 259 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,512 BUT I WARN YOU, I DID TIME IN ATTICA. 260 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,414 ATTICA'S A MEN'S PRISON. 261 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:54,485 I KNOW. I WAS THERE A YEAR BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT. 262 00:15:56,923 --> 00:16:00,357 SORRY, CHIEF. I DIDN'T MEAN TO RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS. 263 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,628 OH, DOROTHY. THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT. 264 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,864 HOW DID YOU EVER PULL THAT OFF? 265 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,868 I WORK IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM. IT'S NOT THAT DIFFERENT. 266 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,641 OH, BLANCHE. I'M SORRY I YELLED AT YOU. I APOLOGIZE. 267 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,910 DON'T YOU WORRY. WE'RE ALL ON EDGE. 268 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,713 THIS IS THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE. 269 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,248 YES. 270 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,917 AND I'VE KNOWN SOME REAL DISAPPOINTMENT, BELIEVE ME. 271 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:33,090 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL US THAT STORY ABOUT THE EXPLODING PIG AGAIN, ARE YOU? 272 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:36,794 I NEVER TOLD YOU A STORY ABOUT AN EXPLODING PIG, DOROTHY. 273 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,197 IT WAS A PEG-LEGGED PIG. 274 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,003 OUR POSSUM WAS THE ONE THAT EXPLODED. 275 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:52,009 FORGIVE ME, ROSE. THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY POSSUM EXPLOSIONS, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK. 276 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,079 SO WHAT WAS THIS GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR LIFE? 277 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,115 BUTTER. I WANTED TO BE BUTTER QUEEN. 278 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,752 AW, YEAH. WHAT AN ACTRESS. 279 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:04,088 SHE WAS SO GOOD IN GONE WITH THE WIND. 280 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,793 I WANTED TO BE MISS OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND MYSELF. 281 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,696 - BLANCHE, ARE YOU LISTENING? - BITS AND PIECES. 282 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,632 GO ON, ROSE. 283 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,234 WELL, BUTTER QUEEN WAS OUR TOWN'S HIGHEST HONOR. 284 00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,504 FROM THE TIME I WAS BORN MY FOLKS GROOMED ME FOR IT. 285 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:24,008 SINGING LESSONS, DANCING LESSONS, JUNIOR BUTTER PAGEANTS. 286 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:28,779 FOR 16 YEARS MY ENTIRE LIFE REVOLVED AROUND BUTTER. 287 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:34,152 YOU WERE VERY FORTUNATE. SO MANY OF US WASTED OUR YOUTH. 288 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,989 WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR THE PAGEANT, I WAS INCREDIBLE. 289 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,125 I SHOWED POISE IN THE EVENING-GOWN COMPETITION. 290 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,828 I WAS BRILLIANT IN THE BUTTER QUIZ. 291 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:48,232 THEY COULDN'T EVEN TRIP ME UP WITH A TRICK MARGARINE QUESTION. 292 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,669 THAT EVENING BUTTER WAS SPELT R-O-S-E. 293 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:55,639 ROSE, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. PLEASE DON'T GO ON. 294 00:17:55,741 --> 00:18:00,044 I HAVE TO. I'VE KEPT THESE BITTER BUTTER MEMORIES TOO LONG. 295 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,648 AS THE PAGEANT DREW TO ITS FRENZIED FINALE, 296 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,351 THERE I WAS, ALONGSIDE THE OTHER TWO FINALISTS, 297 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,186 CHURNING MY GUTS OUT. 298 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:14,158 WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, FOR NO APPARENT REASON, MY CHURN JAMMED. 299 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,527 - OH, NO. - YES. 300 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,597 AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT WAS OVER. 301 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,766 I'D LOST. 302 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:25,503 IT WAS THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY LIFE. 303 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:29,239 IT WAS SMALL CONSOLATION TO FIND OUT, YEARS LATER, 304 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:33,076 THERE HAD BEEN CHURN-TAMPERING INVOLVED. 305 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:37,681 BLANCHE. ROSE, WE'RE GOING TO THE OTHER END OF THE CELL. 306 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,584 DON'T CROSS THIS LINE. 307 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:51,161 DID I HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE FROM ST OLAF? 308 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,298 - YES. - I'M FROM ST GUSTAF. 309 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,467 WE'RE NEIGHBORS. MY NAME'S MEG. 310 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,005 I'M ROSE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MEG? 311 00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,841 I WAS ARRESTED FOR BEING A HOOKER, LIKE YOU. 312 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,944 I'M NOT A HOOKER. I WAS ARRESTED BY MISTAKE. 313 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,747 THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS TELL THE JUDGE, TOO. 314 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:12,583 HOW DID YOU GET MIXED UP IN THIS? 315 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,618 I DON'T KNOW. 316 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,553 THINGS WERE BAD AT HOME. 317 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,555 I ENDED UP IN MIAMI. 318 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,625 IT JUST... HAPPENED. 319 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,826 NOTHING COULD BE BAD ENOUGH AT HOME 320 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:26,297 FOR YOU TO END UP DOING... WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 321 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,700 I DON'T NEED A LECTURE. 322 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,569 BUT YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE. 323 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:36,607 - I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. - IF YOU EVER WANNA TALK, 324 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,743 YOU KNOW, NEIGHBOR TO NEIGHBOR, I'M HERE. 325 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,784 - OH! - MA, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE. 326 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,486 ARRESTED FOR PROSTITUTION. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 327 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,288 SOPHIA. 328 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,990 SOPHIA, WE'RE INNOCENT. 329 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,628 HOW CAN THESE COPS THINK ANYONE WOULD PAY TO SLEEP WITH YOU? 330 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,769 SOPHIA, DID YOU COME TO BAIL US OUT? 331 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:09,740 NO, ROSE, SHE'S DROPPING OFF A MANICOTTI WITH A FILE IN IT. 332 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,709 WE'RE GONNA SEE BURT AFTER ALL. 333 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,745 I THOUGHT THESE TICKETS WERE GONNA GO TO WASTE. 334 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,281 WHICH ONE OF YOU ISN'T GOING? 335 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,053 WELL... I'M THE ONE WHO WON THE TICKETS. 336 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,322 IT'S MY MOM WHO'S BAILING US OUT. 337 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:28,726 I LOST BUTTER QUEEN. HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH? 338 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,729 - WE'LL DRAW STRAWS. - NO. 339 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,797 - WE'LL FLIP A COIN. - NO. 340 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,199 SOPHIA, NOW TRY AND BE UNDERSTANDING. 341 00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:40,537 UNDERSTANDING? I CAME TO BAIL YOU OUT AND YOU WON'T LET ME GO? 342 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,607 MA, STOP COMPLAINING AND GET US OUT OF HERE. 343 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,043 WHERE ARE YOUR ROOMMATES, MRS PETRILLO? 344 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,178 - THEY'RE NOT HERE. - MA! 345 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:52,015 DON'T "MA" ME, YOU CHEAP FLOOZY. 346 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,553 MA, YOU WOULD DO THIS TO YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD? 347 00:20:55,655 --> 00:21:01,358 YOU'LL GET OVER IT. IF YOU DON'T, WHO CARES? I'M OFF TO SEE BURT REYNOLDS. 348 00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,071 AND THEN, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS, 349 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,608 DOM DELUISE INSISTS I TELL BURT THE STORY. 350 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,044 SOPHIA, I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE. 351 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:24,748 NOT EVEN THE PART WHERE BURT AND DOM INSISTED I TELL IT TO LONI? 352 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,884 THAT'S IT. I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANOTHER WORD. 353 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,786 CINDERELLA'S BACK FROM THE BALL 354 00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:32,389 AND HER WICKED ROOMMATES ARE JEALOUS. 355 00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:40,164 WE ARE NOT JEALOUS, MA. WE ARE ANGRY. YOU LEFT US IN JAIL. 356 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:43,467 I SENT BAIL MONEY. YOU WERE OUT AN HOUR LATER. 357 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:48,972 THAT WAS ABOUT THE TIME I WAS NIBBLING A GIANT SHRIMP OUT OF JERRY REED'S HAND. 358 00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:52,342 YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP JUST TO RUB IT IN. 359 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,578 YOU HAVE NEVER MET THESE PEOPLE. 360 00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:59,083 JEALOUSY IS A VERY UGLY THING, DOROTHY. 361 00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:01,718 AND SO ARE YOU IN ANYTHING BACKLESS. 362 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:15,765 I'VE DECIDED THAT LAST NIGHT WAS A BIGGER DISAPPOINTMENT THAN LOSING BUTTER QUEEN. 363 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:18,802 - DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? - NO. 364 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:24,808 MEG! COME IN. 365 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:26,744 I CAN'T, MY TAXI'S WAITING. 366 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:30,213 I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND SAY THANK YOU. 367 00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:33,684 - FOR WHAT? - FOR CONVINCING ME TO GO HOME. 368 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:36,052 I FIGURED I'D GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY. 369 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,388 OH, THAT'S GREAT! 370 00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:41,025 WHAT WAS IT I SAID? 371 00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,426 NOTHING. 372 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:47,531 I DIDN'T WANNA BE YOUR AGE AND STILL BE IN THE BUSINESS. 373 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,103 WELL, GOOD LUCK. 374 00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,710 I'VE NEVER FELT SO GOOD... 375 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,815 AND SO CHEAP IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 376 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:10,220 AT LEAST SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THAT HORRIBLE NIGHT. 377 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,863 HELLO. 378 00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:39,483 - SOPHIA AROUND? - OH, HI, BURT. 379 00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:46,389 - HOW ABOUT A LITTLE LUNCH? - HOW ABOUT A BIG LUNCH? 380 00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:48,659 MY GOD. 381 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,661 YOU'RE MR BURT REYNOLDS. 382 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,264 I HOPE SO, OTHERWISE I GOT THE WRONG UNDERWEAR ON. 383 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,733 - THESE YOUR ROOMMATES? - YEAH. 384 00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:59,670 - WHICH ONE'S THE SLUT? - I AM. 30748

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