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1
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♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,608
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
3
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:12,210
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
4
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:16,481
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
5
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:21,153
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
6
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,155
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
7
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:29,895
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
8
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,764
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
9
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:39,070
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
10
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:59,891
THEY SAY THE EVERGLADES ARE
DRYING UP AND BEING BUILT ON.
11
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,193
- NO!
- YES. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
12
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,864
EVENTUALLY, THERE WON'T BE
ANY LAND ANYWHERE. IT'S A SHAME.
13
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,833
OH, IT IS. IT REALLY IS.
14
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,035
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S ALSO A SHAME?
- WHAT?
15
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,570
WHEN YOU SIT DOWN
AND YOUR THIGHS
16
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:15,274
BECOME TWICE THEIR
SIZE, THAT'S A SHAME.
17
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:21,546
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
MINK BREEDING IS GREAT IDEA.
18
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,848
- I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LIKE IT.
- WHY?
19
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,184
I KNOW HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT ANIMALS.
20
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,454
SINCE IT'S FOR FUR,
THEY'LL HAVE TO BE KILLED.
21
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:33,692
- I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LIKE IT.
- DO THEY HAVE TO BE KILLED?
22
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:38,396
NO, ROSE. MANY WOMEN LIKE
WEARING COATS THAT URINATE.
23
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:45,003
I UNDERSTAND. I
GREW UP ON A FARM.
24
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,506
I'M USED TO IT.
YOU SEE, FARMERS,
25
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,442
THEY LOVE ANIMALS BUT KILL
'EM 'CAUSE IT'S THE CYCLE OF LIFE.
26
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:54,445
GOOD ANIMALS SERVE
MAN AND GO TO HEAVEN.
27
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,414
- HEAVEN?
- YES!
28
00:01:56,517 --> 00:02:00,485
HEAVEN'S FULL OF COWS AND
CHICKENS AND HORSES AND PIGS.
29
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,720
I HOPE HEAVEN HAS BOOTS.
30
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,124
ISN'T BLANCHE GONNA HELP?
31
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,260
SHE WON'T COME OUT OF HER ROOM.
32
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,628
SHE'S NEVER BEEN
IN THERE THAT LONG.
33
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,798
EXCEPT FOR THAT TIME
WITH THE LIFEGUARD.
34
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,368
SHE MUST REALLY BE DEPRESSED.
35
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,803
SHE'LL CHEER UP
WHEN THE MINKS COME.
36
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,705
IF THEY COME FROM NEIMAN MARCUS.
37
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,675
DID STAN EVER GET
YOU A MINK COAT?
38
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,745
STAN WOULDN'T GET A
POPCORN AT THE MOVIES.
39
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,847
I ALWAYS WANTED MINK.
40
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,650
I THOUGHT I WOULD LOOK
ELEGANT AND IMPRESSIVE.
41
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,618
WE DIDN'T HAVE MINK IN SICILY.
42
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,321
TO IMPRESS SOMEONE,
YOU SHOT THEIR BROTHER.
43
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:41,626
OH, BLANCHE, YOU
MUST BE FEELING BETTER.
44
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,462
BETTER? BETTER?
45
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,971
- BLANCHE? WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
46
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,953
- WHAT IS IT, BLANCHE?
- NOTHING.
47
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,710
YOU'VE BEEN CRYING, HONEY.
OR ARE THOSE TEARS OF JOY?
48
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:02,214
JOY! JOY! JOY!
49
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,016
- WAS THAT JOY?
- IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE JOY.
50
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,930
- WHAT IS WRONG?
- I'M EATING.
51
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,987
- EATING IS GOOD.
- I'M NAUSEATED.
52
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,089
THEN STOP EATING.
53
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,592
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? HOW?
54
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,534
- WHAT, BLANCHE?
- OH, MY GOD.
55
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,896
BLANCHE, PLEASE,
TELL US WHAT'S WRONG.
56
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:21,600
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. NOTHING'S SO
TERRIBLE WE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
57
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,236
YOU CAN TELL US. WHAT IS IT?
58
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,272
I'M PREGNANT.
59
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,978
- ROSE!
- ROSE!
60
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,883
ROSE! ROSE! ROSE!
61
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,985
PLAY NICE, GIRLS.
62
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,987
SOPHIA!
63
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,056
SHE FAINTED.
64
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,025
OH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, HONEY?
65
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,595
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I
JUST SAW STARS AND BLACKNESS.
66
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,998
IT WAS LIKE BEING
AT THE PLANETARIUM.
67
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,101
- IT WAS THE SHOCK OF THE NEWS.
- SORRY, BLANCHE.
68
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:59,271
NO, IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
IT WAS SHOCKING NEWS.
69
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,272
I WOULD HAVE FAINTED MYSELF,
70
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:05,610
ONLY I WAS AFRAID I'D FALL DOWN
AND CHIP MY BEAUTIFUL TEETH.
71
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:09,180
- WHAT SHOCKING NEWS?
- BLANCHE IS PREGNANT.
72
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:12,384
HOLY COW.
73
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,086
OH, BLANCHE, ARE YOU SURE?
74
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,189
I DID A HOME PREGNANCY
TEST. IT'S RIGHT HERE.
75
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,425
IT LOOKS LIKE A PERFUME SAMPLE.
76
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,428
PUT IT BEHIND YOUR EARS, ROSE.
77
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:30,469
SEE, IT STARTS OUT RED, AND
IF IT DOESN'T CHANGE COLOR,
78
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,371
THEY SAY YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.
79
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,173
IF YOU ARE, IT
TURNS PINK OR GREY.
80
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,375
I HAD DRAPES THAT COLOR.
81
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,145
I THINK IT'S CALLED PUCE.
82
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,047
IS THAT PUCE? I ALWAYS WONDERED.
83
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,982
SO THE DECORATOR TOLD ME.
84
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:48,386
- IT LOOKS LAVENDER TO ME.
- I HATED THOSE DRAPES.
85
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,388
LAVENDER BRINGS OUT MY EYES.
86
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,657
- YOUR EYES AREN'T LAVENDER...
- GIRLS!
87
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,293
BLANCHE, WHO'S THE FATHER?
88
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,595
THE FATHER?
89
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,432
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
90
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:04,302
YOU'D BETTER FIGURE IT OUT.
WHEN WAS YOUR FERTILE PERIOD?
91
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:09,340
I'M NINE WEEKS LATE, IT WAS TWO
WEEKS BEFORE, SO 11 WEEKS AGO.
92
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:13,311
NINE WEEKS LATE AND YOU JUST
REALIZED SOMETHING IS WRONG?
93
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,547
YES. I KINDA LOST TRACK.
94
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,351
GET YOUR BOOK AND FIND
OUT WHAT YOU DID THAT WEEK.
95
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:23,188
WE KNOW WHAT SHE DID.
WE DON'T KNOW WITH WHO.
96
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:31,563
WE HAD A PIG ONCE. THE MALE
PIGS LOVED HER. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.
97
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,934
AND SHE GOT PREGNANT AND WE
NEVER KNEW WHO THE FATHER WAS.
98
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,804
OH, MY GOD, ROSE. WHAT
DID YOU DO ON FATHER'S DAY?
99
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:43,841
- WEEK OF THE 7TH. LET'S SEE.
- WHO WAS IT?
100
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:45,876
- BLANCHE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
101
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,880
BUT, BLANCHE,
WHO DID YOU... SEE?
102
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,483
THAT WAS A PARTICULARLY
ACTIVE TIME FOR ME.
103
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:56,755
I LOOKED STUNNING. I'D HAD
MY TEETH BONDED. IRRESISTIBLE.
104
00:05:56,857 --> 00:06:01,392
- WHO, BLANCHE?
- A FEW PEOPLE.
105
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,462
HOW MANY IS A FEW?
106
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,831
TWO?
107
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,166
THREE?
108
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,136
DO WE HEAR FOUR?
109
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,172
WELL, THAT WAS MORE LIKE
A TEN-DAY TWO-WEEK SPAN.
110
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,508
FOR ME, THAT'S A LIFETIME SPAN.
111
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:20,278
NOT EVEN.
112
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:25,583
YOU REALIZE I'LL BE 65 WHEN THIS
CHILD GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL?
113
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,752
TRY 70.
114
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,654
I'LL BE THE OLDEST MOTHER.
115
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:34,191
WHAT I LOVED ABOUT MY CHILDREN WAS
EVERYBODY THOUGHT I WAS THEIR SISTER.
116
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:36,428
MY BODY WON'T RECOVER THIS TIME.
117
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,097
IT BARELY DID LAST TIME.
118
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,133
THIS IS TOO DEPRESSING.
I'M GOING BACK TO BED.
119
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,135
A BABY.
120
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,304
SHE'S GONNA HAVE A BABY.
121
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:50,575
SHE CAN NAME IT AFTER ITS
FATHER, RICK JOE BOB DON DAVE.
122
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,485
WE'VE DONE EVERYTHING
TO GET THEM IN THE MOOD.
123
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,322
MUSIC, SOFT LIGHTING.
WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO?
124
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:09,361
LEAVE THEM ALONE. YOU'RE
ALWAYS HERE, LOOKING. IT'S SICK.
125
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:12,797
I'M NOT ALWAYS
HERE, SOPHIA. I WORK.
126
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,900
YOU CALL AT LUNCHTIME.
SOPHIA, GO TAKE A LOOK.
127
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,002
THEY NEED AN APHRODISIAC.
128
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:21,439
AN AFRICAN WHAT?
129
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,809
AN APHRODISIAC. IT'S A SUBSTANCE
THAT MAKES YOU FEEL SEXY.
130
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,711
REALLY? LIKE WHAT?
131
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:30,448
- LIKE SPANISH FLY.
- SPANISH FLIES?
132
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,717
FLY. FLY, ROSE. ONE FLY.
133
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,420
OH, COME ON, DOROTHY.
I'VE BEEN TO SPAIN.
134
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,989
IT'S NOT THE CLEANEST
COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
135
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:41,226
THEY GOT THOUSANDS
OF FLIES. VALENCIA ALONE...
136
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,061
IT IS NOT A FLY, ROSE.
137
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,831
- SPANISH FLY IS NOT A FLY?
- IT'S A BEETLE.
138
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,701
- A FLY THAT'S REALLY A BEETLE?
- YES.
139
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:54,639
- HOW DO THEY KNOW IT'S SPANISH?
- IT WEARS A LITTLE SOMBRERO!
140
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:58,009
WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL
IT A BEETLE, SPANISH BEETLE?
141
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,144
BECAUSE THEY
CALL IT SPANISH FLY.
142
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:04,716
- WHAT DO THEY CALL THEIR FLIES?
- I DON'T CARE, ROSE! FORGET IT.
143
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:09,287
I DON'T CARE. THE MINKS CAN SIT
THERE AND WE'LL LOSE OUR MONEY.
144
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:12,090
JUST DON'T MENTION
SPANISH FLY TO ME AGAIN.
145
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:16,294
YOU'RE REALLY TOUCHY ABOUT
THESE SPANISH FLIES, AREN'T YOU?
146
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,264
BLANCHE, WHAT DID
THE DOCTOR SAY?
147
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,400
SAY? SAY?
148
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:34,312
BLANCHE? BLANCHE,
WHAT HAPPENED? BLANCHE!
149
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,748
- BLANCHE?
- SHE'S IN THERE.
150
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,353
REALLY, COLUMBO?
151
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,322
YES.
152
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,091
- BLANCHE, COME ON.
- WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
153
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,261
- THE WORST THING!
- OH, NO, HONEY.
154
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,130
IT'S NOT. IT'S OK. THE
BABY'S GONNA BE FINE.
155
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,767
SWEETHEART, YOU'LL HAVE
AMNIOCENTESIS, AND THE BABY WILL BE FINE.
156
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,770
WE'LL HELP YOU. THE BABY
WILL HAVE THREE MOTHERS.
157
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:04,842
IT'LL BE FUN. WE CAN TAKE TURNS
FEEDING HIM, WAKING UP WITH HIM.
158
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,579
I CAN DO THE CAR
POOLS FOR SCHOOL.
159
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,181
I'LL HELP WITH
HOMEWORK. I'M A TEACHER.
160
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,951
THEN WE CAN SEND HIM TO
THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA.
161
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:21,793
MINNESOTA. ARE YOU CRAZY,
ROSE? THIS KID IS GOING TO HARVARD.
162
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:26,564
OH, DOROTHY. THOSE IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS
ARE SO SNOTTY WITH THOSE PREPPY PEOPLE.
163
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:30,135
- MINNESOTA HAS A NICE MIX.
- OF CATTLE, MAYBE.
164
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,172
- THIS BOY GOES TO HARVARD.
- WHO SAYS? WE'LL VOTE.
165
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,608
NOBODY IS GOING TO VOTE FOR
MINNESOTA OVER HARVARD, ROSE.
166
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,578
- OH, REALLY?
- HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
167
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,981
- IT'S A GIRL?
- NEITHER. I'M NOT PREGNANT.
168
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,151
IT'S WORSE. IT'S MUCH WORSE.
169
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:51,823
- BLANCHE, WHAT IS IT?
- MY LIFE IS OVER.
170
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,725
OH, BLANCHE. I'M SORRY.
171
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,996
I'M SORRY FOR THINKING ALL
THOSE BAD THINGS ABOUT YOU
172
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,264
WHEN I THOUGHT
YOU WERE PREGNANT.
173
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:04,501
LIKE WHAT A SLUT YOU WERE
FOR HAVING ALL THOSE MEN.
174
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,838
THE THINGS ONLY
A TRAMP WOULD DO.
175
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,176
BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE DYING,
PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW.
176
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,312
I AM NOT DYING, BUT
I MIGHT AS WELL BE.
177
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:20,518
IT'S MENOPAUSE. AS FAR AS I'M
CONCERNED, THIS IS THE END OF MY LIFE.
178
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,699
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M
SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST.
179
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,869
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T
GOTTEN OUT OF BED ALL WEEK.
180
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:42,306
YOU DON'T EAT OR SLEEP, JUST
CRY. YOU SEE HIM OR WE DO.
181
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:46,110
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU
ALL HAVE TO BE WITH ME.
182
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:49,180
BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING
LUNCH AT WOLFIE'S AFTER.
183
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:59,090
SEE HIM? TOTAL FRUITCAKE.
WE'RE TALKING SERIAL MURDERER.
184
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:04,095
WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES TO MURDER HIS
CEREAL, HE SHOULD SEE A PSYCHIATRIST!
185
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:12,236
DON'T TALK FOR THE
REST OF THE AFTERNOON.
186
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,641
MA, PERFECTLY NORMAL
PEOPLE SEE PSYCHIATRISTS.
187
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,511
IT'S LIKE TALKING TO AN OLD,
KNOWLEDGEABLE, GOOD FRIEND.
188
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:25,116
BUT THEN THEY WOULDN'T CALL THEM
PSYCHIATRISTS. THEY'D CALL THEM FRIENDS.
189
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:29,420
PSYCHIATRISTS MEANS
"PSYCH". FOR PSYCHO.
190
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,691
- IT DOES NOT.
- SHE'S RIGHT.
191
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:37,362
I'M NOT STAYING. HE'LL THINK I'M CRAZY
'CAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE?
192
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,396
- BLANCHE.
- TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
193
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:45,336
I WON'T TALK TO A PERFECT STRANGER WHO
THINKS I'M CRAZY AND REVEAL MY SECRETS.
194
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,372
I WON'T DO IT. I CAN'T.
195
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:51,542
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, FOR GOD'S
SAKE! YOU'RE IN A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE!
196
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,361
- BLANCHE DEVEREAUX.
- OH, MY GOD.
197
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:59,416
YOU GO ON, HONEY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
198
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,160
SEE HIM? BANANA BOAT
TIME. HE'S TALKING TO HIMSELF.
199
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:14,231
HE IS NOT. HE'S WEARING
DENTURES AND THEY KEEP SLIPPING.
200
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,534
SURE, RIGHT.
201
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:29,046
EXCUSE ME, SIR, ARE YOU
TALKING TO YOURSELF?
202
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:32,181
FRANWOK IS TALKING
TO ME. HE'S MY MARTIAN
203
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:35,486
FRIEND WHO LANDED HIS
SPACECRAFT IN MY YARD.
204
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,957
SEE YOU AT WOLFIE'S.
205
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,608
BUT WHY IS YOUR LIFE OVER?
206
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,844
BECAUSE IT IS. BECAUSE
IT MEANS I'M OLD.
207
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,981
IT MEANS I'M NOT A
REAL WOMAN ANYMORE.
208
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:07,051
IT REALLY MEANS YOU CAN
NO LONGER BEAR CHILDREN.
209
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,853
IT MEANS MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
210
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,356
I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED.
211
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,692
ONLY YESTERDAY, I
WAS MAGNOLIA QUEEN.
212
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,698
I REMEMBER MY AUNT LYNETTE
GOING CRAZY ABOUT THAT TIME,
213
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:25,270
MY MOTHER SAYING TO ME IN A HUSHED
VOICE, "SHE'S GOING THROUGH THE CHANGE."
214
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:29,206
I THOUGHT, "POOR AUNT LYNETTE HAVING
TO GO THROUGH THIS CHANGE THING."
215
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:35,313
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS, BUT I KNEW
IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME.
216
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,916
- HERE I AM. I'M AUNT LYNETTE.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
217
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:43,021
YOU'RE BLANCHE, AND ALL THAT'S
HAPPENING IS A BIOLOGICAL PROCESS,
218
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:48,059
WHICH MEANS ONE THING AND ONE THING
ONLY: YOU CAN NO LONGER HAVE CHILDREN.
219
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:52,663
OH, IT MEANS MORE
THAN THAT. MUCH MORE.
220
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:57,235
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE I'M REALLY
HERE. AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE,
221
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,304
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE HAVING
THIS CONVERSATION ABOUT ME.
222
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,541
- IT'S HARD FOR YOU TO ACCEPT.
- NOBODY IN MY FAMILY
223
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,376
HAS EVER SEEN A PSYCHIATRIST.
224
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,245
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, WHEN
THEY WERE INSTITUTIONALIZED.
225
00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,649
IT'S JUST SO AWFUL.
226
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,186
BUT YOU'RE A MAN. YOU
WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
227
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,255
WHY WOULDN'T I UNDERSTAND?
228
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:21,492
WELL, YOU DON'T GET OLD AND LOSE
YOUR APPEAL THE WAY WOMEN DO.
229
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:27,598
CARY GRANT CAN HAVE ANY WOMAN HE WANTS
IN HIS 80S. SHOW ME A WOMAN LIKE THAT.
230
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,269
DON'T SAY JOAN COLLINS. SHE
BELONGS IN A WAX MUSEUM.
231
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:36,273
OK, IT'S NOT JUST MENOPAUSE.
IT'S WHAT IT REPRESENTS TO YOU.
232
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,175
- GROWING OLDER.
- YES.
233
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,811
REPRESENTING A LOSS
OF ATTRACTIVENESS.
234
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:41,913
YES.
235
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:46,217
- IS THAT ALL IT IS, SEX APPEAL?
- YES.
236
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,086
MEN ONLY VALUE THAT IN YOU?
237
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:55,459
THEY USED TO. NOW MY ONLY HOPE IS TO BECOME
AN INTELLECTUAL AND FIND A RETIRED JEW.
238
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:03,334
BLANCHE, YOU HAVE TO
CHANGE YOUR THINKING.
239
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:06,737
YOU HAVE TO FIND ALL
THE OTHER THINGS YOU ARE,
240
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,274
ALL THE OTHER WAYS
YOU PLEASE PEOPLE.
241
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,109
THERE'S MORE TO
YOU THAN YOU KNOW.
242
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:16,480
SOMETIMES I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE MY MOTHER LOOKING AT ME.
243
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,382
NOT ALL THE TIME.
244
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,685
JUST NOW AND THEN, WHEN
THE LIGHT'S TOO BRIGHT,
245
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:25,723
OR IT'S TOO EARLY, OR
LATE, OR I LOOK REAL FAST.
246
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,293
THERE IT IS, MY MOTHER'S FACE.
247
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,261
IT SCARES ME TO DEATH.
248
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,163
IT JUST SCARES ME TO DEATH.
249
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:37,201
I GET SO DEPRESSED, I DON'T WANT
TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING.
250
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:41,672
I DON'T WANT TO GET
OUT OF BED EVER AGAIN.
251
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,990
I HOPE DR PARKS CAN GET
THOSE MINKS IN THE MOOD.
252
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:02,559
HE'S A WONDERFUL VET.
HE'LL SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
253
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,362
BLANCHE, YOU'RE OUT OF
BED. THIS IS WONDERFUL.
254
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,384
NO, IT IS NOT
WONDERFUL, DOROTHY.
255
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:12,302
I WAS IN BED, EATING. IF I DON'T
GET UP, I'LL BE LIKE A HIPPO.
256
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:16,473
AND LIFE HAS TO GO ON IN
ONE FORM OR THE OTHER.
257
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:20,077
I'LL JUST SPEND MY REMAINING
YEARS IN THE COMPANY OF WOMEN.
258
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:25,416
ONLY REASON I'M STICKING AROUND IS
TO READ DANIELLE STEEL'S NEXT BOOK.
259
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,551
THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE CHANGE?
260
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,520
GOD, I HATE THAT EXPRESSION.
261
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,222
WHAT IS THE BIG
DEAL? IT'S NOTHING.
262
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,859
LOOK AT THIS WAY. YOU DON'T
GET CRAMPS ONCE A MONTH.
263
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:40,030
YOU DON'T GO ON EATING
BINGES ONCE A MONTH.
264
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,701
YOU JUST GROW A BEARD.
265
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,942
DON'T LISTEN TO HER, BLANCHE.
266
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:54,745
BELIEVE ME. I WOKE UP ONE
MORNING, I LOOKED LIKE ARAFAT.
267
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,047
OH, MY GOD.
268
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:02,753
- I NEVER GREW A BEARD.
- YOU NEVER GREW BRAINS, EITHER.
269
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,457
WELL, I TELL YOU, MENOPAUSE
WAS WONDERFUL FOR ME.
270
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,592
IT MEANT NO MORE PMS.
271
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,462
- I NEVER HAD PMS.
- NEITHER DID I.
272
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:14,565
BUT I HAD A BMW.
273
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,435
A RED ONE. CHARLIE
BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
274
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,337
PMS!
275
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:24,842
PRE-MENSTRUAL SYNDROME, ROSE. YOU
MEAN, YOU NEVER GOT CRAZY ONCE A MONTH?
276
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,077
- NO.
- BOY, I DID.
277
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:31,114
I WOULD CRY, SCREAM, CARRY
ON, PUT ON 10LBS OF WATER.
278
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,652
MENOPAUSE PUT AN
END TO THAT. I LOVED IT.
279
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,320
HOW COULD YOU LOVE IT?
280
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:40,758
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE IT AS HAVING
ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY SEXUALITY.
281
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,093
I AM EXACTLY THE SAME I WAS.
282
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,195
- UNFORTUNATELY.
- THANK YOU.
283
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:49,433
MEN ARE SO LUCKY. THEY NEVER
GET PERIODS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
284
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,735
THEY NEVER HAVE
TO GO THROUGH THIS.
285
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,706
THEY BLAME US FOR BEING
CRAZY WHEN WE GET 'EM.
286
00:17:55,808 --> 00:18:00,077
THE FIRST TIME I GOT MY PERIOD,
NOBODY HAD TOLD ME ANYTHING.
287
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,113
YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T TELL YOU?
288
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,348
SHE WAS VERY PRIM AND PROPER.
289
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,650
OH, WHAT A SURPRISE.
290
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:11,121
WELL, MY WHOLE CHILDHOOD, I
KEPT HEARING ABOUT THE CURSE.
291
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:16,694
HOW WHEN I WAS 13, I WAS GOING TO GET
THE CURSE. I WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED.
292
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,496
THE YEAR OF MY 13TH BIRTHDAY,
293
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,265
I SLEPT WITH THE
LIGHTS ON ALL YEAR.
294
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,702
I WAS SURE THERE WAS A
WITCH BEHIND EVERY WISTERIA.
295
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,171
I DIDN'T GO OUT ON HALLOWEEN.
296
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,007
BUT THE YEAR WENT
BY AND NO CURSE.
297
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,977
THEN THE NEXT YEAR
WENT BY, NO CURSE.
298
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,447
FINALLY, WHEN I WAS 15,
MAMA TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR.
299
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:40,651
AND HE SAID, "BLANCHE, DO YOU
MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PERIOD?"
300
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:45,489
I SAID, "OF COURSE I HAVE MY PERIOD,
YOU FOOL. FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS!"
301
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,892
"IT'S THE CURSE I DON'T HAVE."
302
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:57,034
I GOT IT, OR I DIDN'T
GET IT, NOBODY TOLD ME.
303
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:01,238
I FIGURED, "THIS IS LIFE,"
AND ATE MY MEATBALLS.
304
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:06,277
THEN WHEN I STOPPED, IT JUST HAPPENED.
A FEW HOT FLASHES AND THAT WAS IT.
305
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,980
- I'VE HEARD ABOUT THOSE.
- THEY DIDN'T BOTHER ME.
306
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:14,318
IN FLORIDA, WHO CAN TELL A HOT
FLASH FROM A WEATHER FRONT?
307
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,587
OH, BUT IT'S ALL SO DEPRESSING.
308
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:23,261
MY COUSIN DIDN'T GET HER PERIOD FOR
20 YEARS. THEN AT 72, SHE GOT PREGNANT.
309
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,765
- MA, THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
- YES, IT DID.
310
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:31,202
THEN IT MUST BE IN THE
GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS.
311
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:35,572
IT IS. THE SICILIAN ONE. THE
GARIBALDI BOOK OF RECORDS.
312
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:39,109
MA, NO 72-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
EVER BECAME PREGNANT.
313
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:41,779
SO WHAT? IT CHEERED HER UP.
314
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:46,884
SHE'LL CHEER UP WHEN SHE REALIZES IT
MAKES NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL IN HER LIFE.
315
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:51,155
IT IS JUST A CONCEPT. IT
IS NOT BASED ON REALITY.
316
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:56,460
- NO. IT'S RAINED ON MY PARADE.
- OH, DR PARKS, COME RIGHT IN.
317
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,729
- WHO IS THAT?
- THE VET.
318
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:02,133
- I DON'T THINK YOU MET BLANCHE.
- NO, HE HAS NOT.
319
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:05,569
I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
320
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:09,306
A MAN AS BRILLIANT AS
YOU MUST BE TERRIBLY BUSY.
321
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,810
THE CHANGE OF LIFE
DIDN'T CHANGE HER LIFE.
322
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:16,814
WELL, IT'S NO MYSTERY. THE MINKS
WON'T BREED BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO OLD.
323
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,717
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- ISN'T HE BRILLIANT?
324
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:23,053
SOMEBODY SOLD YOU MINKS
THAT ARE TOO OLD TO BREED.
325
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,222
THEY'RE WORN OUT.
THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED.
326
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:28,993
- YOU CAN BE TOO OLD?
- RODENTS CAN BE, NOT HUMANS.
327
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:35,031
IS THAT A THEORY OR IS THAT
BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE?
328
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:37,067
BOTH.
329
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:40,738
DOCTOR, THERE'S A LIZARD OUT ON
THE LANAI THAT'S LOOKING PIQUED.
330
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:44,441
- I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND.
- NOT AT ALL.
331
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:49,380
I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT THE POOR
LITTLE THING, I JUST CAN'T SLEEP AT ALL.
332
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,815
I'M SUCH A LOVER OF ANIMALS.
333
00:20:53,886 --> 00:21:00,191
SHE COULD BE IN A COMA. PUT A MAN WITHIN
FIVE MILES, AND SHE'D SHAVE HER LEGS.
334
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,834
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY SOLD
US MINKS THAT ARE TOO OLD.
335
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,970
- WHO CAN YOU TRUST?
- NO ONE.
336
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:17,207
I LEARNED THAT IN SICILY.
WORKS IN MIAMI, TOO.
337
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:22,012
WELL, WE WOUND UP SPENDING
$678 IN THE MINK BUSINESS.
338
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,049
- WHAT DID WE MAKE?
- MAKE? A MISTAKE, ROSE.
339
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,918
A VERY LARGE, EXPENSIVE MISTAKE.
340
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,421
- HELLO.
- OH, HI. HOW DID IT GO?
341
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,257
- IS YOUR LIZARD STILL ALIVE?
- HE JUST LOVED ME.
342
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,271
OF COURSE, HE WOULD. I'M
SOPHISTICATED, WORLDLY, GLAMOROUS.
343
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:41,165
MAYBE HE'S TOO DOWN TO EARTH, NICE
AND DECENT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
344
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,133
- YES.
- YES.
345
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:47,237
WELL, I HAD A GOOD
TIME. HE WAS VERY NICE.
346
00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:51,309
THE BEST PART IS, I THINK I'M
OVER MY MENOPAUSAL DEPRESSION.
347
00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:55,212
HONEY, YOU JUST NEEDED THE CONFIDENCE
TO KNOW YOU'RE STILL ATTRACTIVE.
348
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,081
DR PARKS HELPED DO THAT.
349
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:01,752
MAYBE A LITTLE. I KNOW THAT BEAUTY
LIKE MINE CANNOT FADE OVERNIGHT.
350
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:05,890
HE DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH
TO DO WITH IT. IT WAS YOU GIRLS.
351
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:10,227
YOU LET ME GO AND BE CRAZY
AND YOU WERE RIGHT THERE.
352
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,362
WE LIVE HERE.
353
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:15,966
YOU WERE CARING AND
SUPPORTIVE AND I THANK YOU FOR IT.
354
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,668
I'M LUCKY TO HAVE
FRIENDS LIKE YOU.
355
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,805
THE LITTLE RATS ARE STILL HERE!
356
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,873
THE ANIMAL PEOPLE
ARE COMING TOMORROW.
357
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:24,942
- NO, THEY AREN'T.
- I CALLED.
358
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,111
- I CANCELED.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
359
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:30,914
WE ARE NOT GIVING AWAY
FLUFFY, MUFFY, BUFFY AND JOANNE.
360
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,384
ROSE, THEY ARE
NON-BREEDING MINKS,
361
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:37,454
WHO EAT THEIR WEIGHT IN
FOOD EVERY DAY. JOANNE?
362
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,656
DOROTHY, THIS IS THEIR HOME NOW.
363
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:42,159
EAT THEIR WEIGHT
IN FOOD EVERY DAY?
364
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:45,795
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED, SO
DO I. NO, ROSE, THEY GO.
365
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:47,731
NO, THE MINKS STAY.
366
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:50,401
- THEY SERVE MAN, WE SERVE THEM.
- COME ON!
367
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:55,572
ARE YOU SAYING THAT BECAUSE THEY'RE
TOO OLD TO BREED, THEY'RE USELESS?
368
00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:57,541
THE MINKS STAY.
369
00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:58,976
RIGHT.
370
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:02,045
COME ON. LET'S COOK
THEM SOMETHING TO EAT.
371
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:05,415
- OH, MY GOD!
- WHAT?
372
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:08,518
- I THINK THEY'RE MAKING...
- WHAT?
373
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:10,754
THEY'RE MAKING A STOLE.
374
00:23:10,856 --> 00:23:13,090
LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE.
375
00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:18,662
- YEP. WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS.
- OH, PLEASE.
376
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:21,732
THEY ARE, DOROTHY.
THEY REALLY ARE.
377
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:26,403
OH, THEY CERTAINLY ARE.
378
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,439
BUT DON'T COUNT YOUR MONEY YET.
379
00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:31,909
THOSE ARE THE TWO MALES.
30852
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