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1
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Those who will be born later,
the others won't forget.
2
00:01:08,263 --> 00:01:10,743
Everything we learned can be told.
3
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:14,879
Speaking
in a secretly inherited language
4
00:01:14,903 --> 00:01:18,463
of transhumance, craftswomen,
Amazons and witches.
5
00:01:19,143 --> 00:01:21,263
History, our history,
is told inward,
6
00:01:22,023 --> 00:01:23,063
but you have come here,
7
00:01:23,423 --> 00:01:26,503
moved by a desire
that will allow you to listen.
8
00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:30,263
Our desire does not know
the law of the World
9
00:01:30,503 --> 00:01:32,903
already forgotten while being learned.
10
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:39,903
Clarity was imposed on us,
and yet we grew up in mystery.
11
00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:44,399
If I take us out
from this absurd light of the day
12
00:01:44,423 --> 00:01:46,663
that leaves no folds,
and I rescue the night,
13
00:01:46,863 --> 00:01:50,183
who will fear more? You or I?
14
00:01:52,463 --> 00:01:56,319
Those born after us
will cast a sigh towards me,
15
00:01:56,343 --> 00:02:00,303
who loved with profound determination,
towards you, my desire.
16
00:03:02,623 --> 00:03:07,623
OTHERNESS
17
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,903
Good morning!
18
00:03:22,103 --> 00:03:24,143
Let's have breakfast.
Are you hungry?
19
00:03:25,303 --> 00:03:27,463
Look at this nice breakfast
we prepared.
20
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,063
Like every day...
21
00:03:29,863 --> 00:03:31,143
Look how good it is.
22
00:03:37,263 --> 00:03:40,023
It's coming. But look,
you have one in there already.
23
00:03:40,143 --> 00:03:41,623
Look at this.
24
00:03:45,943 --> 00:03:48,063
What is it? Yes!
25
00:03:48,183 --> 00:03:49,503
This juice is so good.
26
00:03:49,623 --> 00:03:51,423
- Huh?
- This juice is really good.
27
00:03:51,543 --> 00:03:54,503
Yes, strawberry and orange
is a good combination.
28
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:55,863
We should make more.
29
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:58,183
We're going to Mirador del Migdia.
Do you want to come?
30
00:03:58,663 --> 00:04:00,343
- I wanted to work.
- Work?
31
00:04:00,463 --> 00:04:02,503
To do some coursework and all this.
32
00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:08,143
And if I have time
I'll go to the pool for a moment,
33
00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:11,103
and pay
and say we're not going today.
34
00:04:12,743 --> 00:04:17,023
Well,
today our cutie pie starts swimming.
35
00:04:17,143 --> 00:04:21,783
And we have a situation
that Carla will luckily manage.
36
00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:26,183
And that is, for me, of course,
going to a swimming pool...
37
00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:29,143
Changing rooms and all of that
is something…
38
00:04:29,263 --> 00:04:32,783
we were talking about transition,
of the different phases…
39
00:04:33,263 --> 00:04:36,063
I suppose there will be a day
when I will dare to it.
40
00:04:36,183 --> 00:04:39,823
In fact I have already been
in a women's locker room once.
41
00:04:39,943 --> 00:04:41,063
There in Tarrega.
42
00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:43,703
- But of course it's a...
- Accompanied by people you knew.
43
00:04:43,823 --> 00:04:47,303
- Accompanied by people I knew.
- And LGBTI people.
44
00:04:47,423 --> 00:04:49,023
Yes, it was an environment...
45
00:04:49,143 --> 00:04:50,783
There were more trans people
around there,
46
00:04:50,903 --> 00:04:53,503
it was an easy environment.
47
00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:58,263
But, of course,
it's a part of the upbringing
48
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:01,703
that I'm sadly missing out.
49
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:05,383
And at the same time, well...
some burden that I can't take on,
50
00:05:05,503 --> 00:05:07,943
it has both things:
It is something
51
00:05:08,063 --> 00:05:10,503
that Carla must take care of right now
52
00:05:10,623 --> 00:05:11,783
and that I'm missing out.
53
00:05:11,903 --> 00:05:14,423
I mean,
because being in a swimming pool...
54
00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:21,663
You'll have a great time.
So much fun.
55
00:05:27,183 --> 00:05:31,903
Okay, I keep the little one, thanks.
Very generous of you.
56
00:05:35,663 --> 00:05:37,383
I find it very amusing
to be able to say
57
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,503
that the child
has two biological mothers.
58
00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:44,183
People don't get it, it's so funny.
Two biological mothers, how?
59
00:05:44,703 --> 00:05:46,023
Open your mind!
60
00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:51,463
We said this to a lady in Mallorca.
We told her, "Open your mind!"
61
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:54,823
And she said,
"But how, what are you saying?"
62
00:05:54,983 --> 00:05:56,463
So funny...
63
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:59,783
Because that lady…
I think she never saw me
64
00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:02,623
as trans, that rarely happens,
65
00:06:02,743 --> 00:06:05,423
but sometimes happens
that people don't see me as trans.
66
00:06:09,143 --> 00:06:10,623
Well, it is like this.
67
00:06:10,943 --> 00:06:12,703
We are two dykes, who were lucky
68
00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:14,663
that we didn't have to go through...
69
00:06:15,183 --> 00:06:19,063
Through the whole
reproductive process, right?
70
00:06:19,543 --> 00:06:21,623
The in vitro and all of that… Well…
71
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:23,623
Assisted reproduction.
72
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:06,943
In Canada I first looked
like straight,
73
00:07:07,063 --> 00:07:09,783
because I had long hair,
when I cut my hair,
74
00:07:09,903 --> 00:07:11,063
suddenly I was a lesbian.
75
00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:16,303
Suddenly I have long hair again,
I'm straight, so...
76
00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:19,343
I didn't stop. Are we judging people
by their haircuts?
77
00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:28,223
In fact, when I cut my hair,
I couldn't stop flirting.
78
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:30,903
So heavy.
79
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,263
They see me as an Indian person.
80
00:07:33,383 --> 00:07:35,463
They don't see me as a person
81
00:07:36,103 --> 00:07:39,543
whose sexuality they can say
straight-forwardly that is straight,
82
00:07:40,223 --> 00:07:43,983
because queer gay
or lesbian people don't exist in India.
83
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,903
According to many people,
and that's not true.
84
00:07:47,023 --> 00:07:50,663
In fact, India has been colonized,
has been destroyed
85
00:07:50,783 --> 00:07:56,143
by the colonization of white people,
oppressed…,
86
00:07:56,263 --> 00:08:00,063
in every issue
related to sexuality in India,
87
00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:03,263
and India was a very queer place,
88
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:08,303
very gay, very lesbian before this.
89
00:08:08,703 --> 00:08:11,183
The femphobia is very strong.
90
00:08:12,303 --> 00:08:15,423
I don't know, it is pure hatred
towards women.
91
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:16,743
Being a lesbian person,
92
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,583
I don't understand
how they can have femphobia in a way.
93
00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:25,223
How can you hate women to be women
94
00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:30,063
the way they want to be,
and then go to bed with women?
95
00:08:30,183 --> 00:08:34,783
I don't understand,
but well, it's something that I don't...
96
00:08:34,903 --> 00:08:37,343
I don't regret it that much anymore.
97
00:08:37,463 --> 00:08:39,823
When I was young I wanted
98
00:08:41,023 --> 00:08:42,743
to refuse this fem part.
99
00:08:42,863 --> 00:08:47,143
If they don't like that I'm fem now,
go to hell, you know?
100
00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:51,183
These are things
that I'm not worried about right now.
101
00:09:30,743 --> 00:09:32,663
It's so funny
that you're making a second…
102
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:36,343
a second impression of me, you know?
103
00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:38,103
It's so cool.
104
00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:52,503
- It is moving.
- Yeah,
105
00:09:53,223 --> 00:09:57,423
maybe the caliber of the plate
is not so good.
106
00:10:00,063 --> 00:10:04,423
Well, it's a 3D that is organically weird,
hard to print.
107
00:10:06,183 --> 00:10:07,663
It's gonna be pretty basic.
108
00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:10,503
Basically what happens to me
is that my whole life…
109
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,183
has been an experiment.
110
00:10:13,303 --> 00:10:19,903
I always considered myself a cyborg
because I never did what was expected,
111
00:10:20,023 --> 00:10:23,903
neither for a woman
nor for a man nor for...
112
00:10:24,063 --> 00:10:27,423
I mean neither for a lesbian woman
nor for...
113
00:10:28,463 --> 00:10:31,663
So, my life has always been
an experiment
114
00:10:31,943 --> 00:10:35,023
in which I have brought
my body to the extreme,
115
00:10:35,663 --> 00:10:40,103
I have experimented to the maximum
everything I could, by putting...
116
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:44,423
objects inside my body,
117
00:10:46,223 --> 00:10:50,703
taking my body to the extreme
at a level of pain, for example.
118
00:10:51,263 --> 00:10:56,463
And all of this, for me, is what makes up
a cyborg entity and a trans entity
119
00:10:57,703 --> 00:11:00,223
that likes to experiment.
120
00:11:05,743 --> 00:11:06,823
How do you see yourself?
121
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,983
Aligned.
122
00:11:12,823 --> 00:11:15,383
Well, it could be any girl, though.
123
00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:19,423
Compare her to the other one.
124
00:11:19,663 --> 00:11:20,703
Yes.
125
00:11:23,863 --> 00:11:26,063
The most stable thing
in my life is change.
126
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,063
I love it.
127
00:11:33,103 --> 00:11:34,903
Yes, 2019 - 2022.
128
00:11:35,703 --> 00:11:36,703
Yes.
129
00:11:41,423 --> 00:11:44,023
Missing the curly moment in between.
130
00:12:15,143 --> 00:12:19,663
What made me run away
from the city was, on the one hand,
131
00:12:19,783 --> 00:12:22,943
a very big feeling of emptiness
that I had at that moment.
132
00:12:23,223 --> 00:12:26,423
This whole political world I was in…
133
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:31,063
Assemblies, activities and so on,
they didn't fulfill me.
134
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,703
I didn't feel that it made me happy.
135
00:12:34,823 --> 00:12:35,823
I felt empty, you know.
136
00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:39,503
Also the relationships…
Even though I shared with a lot of people,
137
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:42,623
these relationships were not deep.
In the end...
138
00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:45,632
they were quite concrete.
139
00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:48,025
With my friends, of course, but...
140
00:12:48,505 --> 00:12:52,625
The rest, we would meet
to carry out activities
141
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:56,785
and then I knew almost nothing
about the other person.
142
00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:03,185
And I felt it like an internal call
to go towards...
143
00:13:03,305 --> 00:13:04,385
the countryside.
144
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:33,345
Get out of there.
Get out! Go outside.
145
00:13:35,905 --> 00:13:36,945
Shall I do that?
146
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,065
A little kick here and there.
147
00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:47,025
I mean,
I also like to be mistaken for a boy.
148
00:13:48,145 --> 00:13:53,065
I find it very funny
when the ladies tell me,
149
00:13:53,185 --> 00:13:56,825
"Hey, boy!" And... I like it.
150
00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:59,265
I mean, it doesn't bother me.
151
00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:02,465
It also seems
152
00:14:03,185 --> 00:14:05,945
that when this happens to you,
when they confuse your gender,
153
00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:08,505
it's like the worst thing
that can happen to you,
154
00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:09,785
that they say to you.
155
00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:17,705
In the sense of getting out,
from that identity, from that role.
156
00:14:18,105 --> 00:14:23,065
Have you ever thought about taking hormones
or microtransitioning or similar?
157
00:14:23,545 --> 00:14:28,785
Well I think that if I were
in the more urban context,
158
00:14:29,665 --> 00:14:37,065
the fact of transiting or taking hormones
would have been surely…
159
00:14:37,505 --> 00:14:38,585
easier, you know?
160
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,425
And maybe I would be on that path,
161
00:14:40,545 --> 00:14:45,065
but also because the context
always conditions, you know?
162
00:14:45,825 --> 00:14:50,785
And it always can push you to look,
163
00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:52,825
to try.
164
00:14:54,665 --> 00:14:56,385
But the truth is that...
165
00:14:56,945 --> 00:15:02,185
Well, I like the way I am,
I have no need to change.
166
00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:25,945
More milk.
I need more milk, it's too thick.
167
00:15:26,465 --> 00:15:28,665
- More milk?
- Yes, it's too thick.
168
00:15:29,425 --> 00:15:30,425
More milk, more milk.
169
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,785
Pour a good amount.
170
00:15:34,785 --> 00:15:35,945
A good stream.
171
00:15:37,225 --> 00:15:38,225
Enough.
172
00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,145
This can go…
173
00:16:04,425 --> 00:16:08,265
We are neither man nor woman,
it's another story.
174
00:16:08,545 --> 00:16:10,385
Ours is different.
175
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:15,465
We already had that perception
of running away from stereotypes.
176
00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:19,985
We did want to create
our culture,
177
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:23,345
make just a lesbian culture,
but how?
178
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,665
We wanted to create it from us,
179
00:16:26,145 --> 00:16:28,865
and we were getting things
from abroad
180
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:33,265
because maybe abroad
they were more advanced than us.
181
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,905
We also brought those. Books.
182
00:16:35,105 --> 00:16:36,785
We were very lucky to be able to go
183
00:16:36,905 --> 00:16:39,545
to the feminist book fairs
that were held...
184
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,785
in Amsterdam, in Berlin.
185
00:16:41,945 --> 00:16:45,465
It was held in Barcelona in the 90's,
we went to Australia…
186
00:16:45,785 --> 00:16:48,545
With the books
you could certainly know…
187
00:16:48,865 --> 00:16:52,465
With the workshops and the talks
you could share and see.
188
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:58,745
And also here, we were trying
to reproduce whatever it was
189
00:16:59,425 --> 00:17:01,505
within the lesbian world.
190
00:17:02,225 --> 00:17:06,345
Because it was very clear for us.
191
00:17:07,225 --> 00:17:10,585
We wanted to live the experience
of a separatist world
192
00:17:10,705 --> 00:17:13,865
because it was our idea
and it was our desire.
193
00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:17,385
Although
it has never quite come to fruition
194
00:17:17,785 --> 00:17:20,825
but we did define ourselves,
and we still do,
195
00:17:21,105 --> 00:17:23,985
and I still do
even though I can't practice it at all,
196
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:27,865
but I still define myself
as a lesbian separatist.
197
00:17:28,705 --> 00:17:29,705
But, of course,
198
00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:36,145
society also marks you the priorities
and the moment, the environment and...
199
00:17:36,785 --> 00:17:37,865
And you do what you can.
200
00:17:37,985 --> 00:17:40,585
How would you define
lesbian separatism?
201
00:17:41,545 --> 00:17:42,785
How would you define it?
202
00:17:42,905 --> 00:17:44,881
To make it clear for people
who don't know what it is.
203
00:17:44,905 --> 00:17:49,305
Yes. What is lesbian separatism?
204
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:54,425
Well, it is a radical idea
that lesbianism goes to the extreme
205
00:17:54,745 --> 00:17:59,585
of only having relationship and action
and interaction with women.
206
00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:04,265
And in a world that could be
totally of women and lesbians,
207
00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:09,185
where women would have no patriarchal
influences and patriarchal role models
208
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,625
that could mark us.
209
00:18:11,585 --> 00:18:15,225
The desire is that you could be
totally autonomous,
210
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,065
totally yourself.
211
00:18:18,585 --> 00:18:21,265
But it is also a kind
of an inner perception.
212
00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:26,345
It is not only a physical action
in a life or material level.
213
00:18:26,585 --> 00:18:29,225
It is also an inner perception
of saying: I am capable.
214
00:18:29,345 --> 00:18:31,865
I don't need patriarchal models
215
00:18:32,065 --> 00:18:35,065
that have crushed us so far
in order to be able to follow them.
216
00:18:35,265 --> 00:18:39,625
And now my computer is restarting,
I don't know what was wrong with it.
217
00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:47,185
But as I have the flash drive here…
Look, I'll pass you this one and...
218
00:18:49,105 --> 00:18:51,505
and you are going to put
one of the three.
219
00:18:51,665 --> 00:18:53,145
- All three.
- Okay.
220
00:18:53,745 --> 00:18:55,345
I'm missing... We're at the 6th.
221
00:18:56,385 --> 00:19:02,105
Okay? So we did physical violence
and sexual violence 1.
222
00:19:02,665 --> 00:19:03,665
And we're missing these.
223
00:19:03,785 --> 00:19:07,665
And finish tying these two together
that are mixed up a little bit.
224
00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:11,865
For example, at the very beginning…
225
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,185
Do you have the right title?
226
00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:17,985
Yeah, we can go to the first one…
you see?
227
00:19:19,865 --> 00:19:20,865
Here.
228
00:19:59,705 --> 00:20:02,065
- Muse?
- Yeah, it's an agency from New York.
229
00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:05,745
They contacted you?
230
00:20:05,865 --> 00:20:07,785
I have a casting tomorrow.
231
00:20:09,025 --> 00:20:10,665
- Wow.
- Amazing.
232
00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:13,305
The New York one is online,
233
00:20:13,425 --> 00:20:15,345
but I do it from Francina's computer
234
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,785
because they want me to be there.
235
00:20:16,825 --> 00:20:19,265
They say my house has bad lighting.
236
00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:21,305
Okay.
237
00:20:21,665 --> 00:20:23,705
- Come on, they're right.
- Yes, they're right.
238
00:20:24,425 --> 00:20:28,945
So they're both online?
One is in Francina and…?
239
00:20:29,065 --> 00:20:32,625
One is in person. The London one
is with them tomorrow at Francina.
240
00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:34,145
Okay wow.
241
00:20:34,265 --> 00:20:35,785
I didn't even search these agencies,
242
00:20:35,905 --> 00:20:38,225
it would be nice do it,
because I haven't checked them.
243
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,745
It's great, baby.
244
00:20:44,705 --> 00:20:47,145
When I was younger
it was very contradictory for me
245
00:20:47,265 --> 00:20:50,145
to think that I like women,
and I'm a Muslim.
246
00:20:50,265 --> 00:20:52,865
It was more of Islam
and my culture,
247
00:20:53,265 --> 00:20:55,625
of what my family would say, right?
248
00:20:56,305 --> 00:20:59,185
That is to say,
as a child I always grew up
249
00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:01,585
with the typical feast of the lamb,
the end of Ramadan,
250
00:21:01,705 --> 00:21:03,745
the birth of the prophet
or things like that.
251
00:21:04,025 --> 00:21:06,305
And I like all this.
252
00:21:06,425 --> 00:21:09,785
Being with your family, the happiness
of having spent a month together,
253
00:21:09,905 --> 00:21:14,585
so intimate, you know,
the whole family together to eat.
254
00:21:14,705 --> 00:21:16,025
I like all these things.
255
00:21:16,265 --> 00:21:17,905
But I think that Islam,
256
00:21:18,025 --> 00:21:20,625
as in any religion
and almost any practice,
257
00:21:21,385 --> 00:21:24,385
has been very much modified by men
and it's been very much changed…
258
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,105
Yes, by cis men.
259
00:21:26,225 --> 00:21:29,545
So how can a book
that was interpreted
260
00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:31,305
by a man can represent me?
261
00:21:31,465 --> 00:21:34,025
That's the relationship
I have now with Islam.
262
00:21:34,265 --> 00:21:37,545
For me, religion in its purity
is just peace.
263
00:21:37,665 --> 00:21:41,025
It's a book of advice,
just like the Bible and the Torah
264
00:21:41,225 --> 00:21:45,265
and a book of Buddhism
won't say you shall not drink or kill.
265
00:21:45,385 --> 00:21:47,665
I mean, if the police can fine you
for killing,
266
00:21:47,785 --> 00:21:52,065
why can't Islam "condemn" you
for killing?
267
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:53,385
But in the end I don't believe
268
00:21:53,465 --> 00:21:55,505
that everything is based
on being good or being bad,
269
00:21:55,585 --> 00:21:57,785
but it's a guide, a book of advices
270
00:21:57,905 --> 00:21:59,905
to be able to act correctly
in this life.
271
00:22:00,265 --> 00:22:04,865
That's why I don't consider
that smoking a joint is haram,
272
00:22:05,185 --> 00:22:06,825
or drinking alcohol is haram.
273
00:22:06,945 --> 00:22:08,985
It's haram
because you are harming your body,
274
00:22:09,105 --> 00:22:11,785
but it is not haram
because alcohol is haram, you know?
275
00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:15,185
So I don't consider it wrong either,
276
00:22:15,305 --> 00:22:18,665
for a person with pussy
to eat another pussy
277
00:22:18,785 --> 00:22:20,945
and a person with a penis
to suck another penis.
278
00:22:21,065 --> 00:22:23,585
Because in the end
as long as I'm not hurting anyone,
279
00:22:23,705 --> 00:22:27,705
or myself or whatever pronoun
you want to say, you know?
280
00:22:28,505 --> 00:22:29,705
…and I could DJ.
281
00:22:30,025 --> 00:22:31,225
Wait a minute, no kidding,
282
00:22:31,345 --> 00:22:34,665
when the Poble Sec parties
were going on,
283
00:22:34,785 --> 00:22:37,865
I was thinking, "I want to DJ
in the festivities of my neighborhood
284
00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:39,785
and I want to DJ in Os de Balaguer."
285
00:22:40,185 --> 00:22:42,585
- Okay.
- But I see it so feasible.
286
00:22:42,705 --> 00:22:43,905
Yes, it is.
287
00:22:44,025 --> 00:22:47,705
I don't think they have
a lot of people saying,
288
00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,265
"I want to DJ in Os de Balaguer."
289
00:22:49,385 --> 00:22:53,505
No, and besides they will say,
"Oh, how exotic", you know?
290
00:22:54,505 --> 00:22:57,425
They don't know
I'm your girlfriend in your town.
291
00:22:57,825 --> 00:22:59,265
Well, your friends do.
292
00:22:59,705 --> 00:23:03,825
But they'll say,
"Is that black girl Gina's cousin?"
293
00:23:04,905 --> 00:23:07,505
No, they know we are not cousins.
294
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:10,025
Well, they know we are…
so they'll think we're friends.
295
00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:11,545
I don't know.
296
00:23:11,785 --> 00:23:13,105
It would be very funny.
297
00:23:14,945 --> 00:23:17,465
I don't know
what connections they can make
298
00:23:17,585 --> 00:23:21,425
with the little amount of black people
in your town.
299
00:23:21,545 --> 00:23:23,025
Well, friend or girlfriend.
300
00:23:23,185 --> 00:23:24,905
That is you. Well, girlfriend.
301
00:23:25,945 --> 00:23:29,025
We act friendly in public.
302
00:23:29,145 --> 00:23:31,145
- In my town?
- Yes.
303
00:23:31,265 --> 00:23:33,345
But we've already been there
many times.
304
00:23:33,585 --> 00:23:35,265
Yes, but just with your friends.
305
00:23:35,385 --> 00:23:37,265
But when we walk
through the village in general.
306
00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:40,905
Because I don't like people
who are very gossipy.
307
00:23:41,065 --> 00:23:42,905
- Gossipy.
- It's true.
308
00:23:44,665 --> 00:23:46,665
I threw it there, girl,
you don't get anything.
309
00:23:47,345 --> 00:23:50,025
Come on, look, over there.
310
00:23:57,305 --> 00:23:58,905
Where is it? It's here.
311
00:24:02,345 --> 00:24:03,345
Alright.
312
00:24:12,345 --> 00:24:15,985
I don't take hormones as a trans boy,
I do it…
313
00:24:16,185 --> 00:24:21,385
For example, if a trans guy
applies 8 daily doses of cream,
314
00:24:21,505 --> 00:24:24,185
I take four,
and sometimes I even take three,
315
00:24:24,305 --> 00:24:25,745
and sometimes I take two.
316
00:24:25,945 --> 00:24:27,625
I'm a bit…
317
00:24:29,825 --> 00:24:33,265
in a limbo, a bit like in the limit
of neither one thing nor the other,
318
00:24:33,945 --> 00:24:37,905
and well,
there are no studies that talk about
319
00:24:38,025 --> 00:24:40,065
what is happening with the body.
320
00:24:40,305 --> 00:24:41,665
Well, there are, but very few,
321
00:24:42,225 --> 00:24:44,985
and it is not very well known,
322
00:24:45,385 --> 00:24:49,665
but it is something that can be done,
I am the proof of that.
323
00:24:51,385 --> 00:24:56,985
Now it's been a week without hormones
and I'm waiting like this…
324
00:24:57,105 --> 00:24:58,945
Well, I've been
progressively stopping it.
325
00:25:00,945 --> 00:25:02,465
Why did you stop taking hormones?
326
00:25:03,145 --> 00:25:06,905
Because…
Well, the truth is because,
327
00:25:07,225 --> 00:25:10,185
since I had the recording on Friday,
328
00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:14,465
I said, maybe if I stop taking them
my voice will clear up a bit.
329
00:25:15,745 --> 00:25:19,065
But it's not true,
so that the vocal folds…
330
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:22,545
once the vocal cords change,
they don't go back to...
331
00:25:22,665 --> 00:25:24,665
It is one of these things
that are irreversible.
332
00:25:25,425 --> 00:25:27,305
It's an irreversible change.
333
00:25:27,785 --> 00:25:29,385
But I do it a lot.
334
00:25:29,505 --> 00:25:32,745
Suddenly I feel like
stopping taking hormones.
335
00:25:33,145 --> 00:25:36,025
And suddenly I want to go back,
and now
336
00:25:36,145 --> 00:25:42,105
I want to stop taking them
and I'm doing it.
337
00:25:42,665 --> 00:25:45,225
My mother says
that I play too much with my body,
338
00:25:46,865 --> 00:25:50,145
but I think that if I have a body,
it's for something, right?
339
00:25:50,545 --> 00:25:51,545
To play with it.
340
00:25:52,065 --> 00:25:53,425
Girl, not here!
341
00:25:54,305 --> 00:25:57,705
The fact I have waited ten years…
342
00:25:57,825 --> 00:26:01,385
Putting up with my own body,
day after day,
343
00:26:02,465 --> 00:26:06,025
meant for me
that when I decided to take hormones,
344
00:26:07,545 --> 00:26:11,945
I was very happy and I didn't wanna change
anything about my own body.
345
00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:15,065
This doesn't mean I can't say tomorrow
"Oh, shit,
346
00:26:15,185 --> 00:26:16,705
I don't feel comfortable
with my boobs.
347
00:26:16,745 --> 00:26:17,745
I want to take them off."
348
00:26:18,145 --> 00:26:21,225
It doesn't mean that I can't do it,
because I can perfectly do it,
349
00:26:22,305 --> 00:26:24,985
but I think it's given me
a sense of maturity
350
00:26:25,265 --> 00:26:28,145
and having to put up with my body
in no other way,
351
00:26:28,385 --> 00:26:31,625
and ending up loving the way it is
and the choices it gives me
352
00:26:31,745 --> 00:26:33,105
and the opportunities it gives me.
353
00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:35,225
Because in the end I was very afraid
354
00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:38,425
of ending up changing myself
for others,
355
00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:40,385
not for me.
356
00:26:41,305 --> 00:26:44,865
And I have come to the conclusion
that I don't want to change myself.
357
00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:47,105
It is the rest who must change.
358
00:26:48,865 --> 00:26:55,065
I wanted to show you a T-shirt
my friend Borja Pony made for me.
359
00:26:55,705 --> 00:26:59,425
Now I can't untie the… Okay
360
00:27:04,385 --> 00:27:05,625
Girls with guns.
361
00:27:12,225 --> 00:27:14,745
It's getting old a little bit,
It makes me a bit sad.
362
00:27:16,305 --> 00:27:19,065
Anyway,
I wore it for the occasion today.
363
00:27:19,825 --> 00:27:24,705
I really like to wear it normally
when I'm dressed in a suit,
364
00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:28,465
with suit pants
and suddenly this T-shirt,
365
00:27:28,825 --> 00:27:32,785
that shows off my boobies
and it says Girls with guns.
366
00:27:32,905 --> 00:27:36,385
If I have something important
from work or something.
367
00:27:40,905 --> 00:27:47,825
Look at a heron!
That black and white one. You see it?
368
00:27:48,985 --> 00:27:51,345
It's down here,
look how beautiful it is.
369
00:27:51,905 --> 00:27:54,345
Looks like a seagull eh.
Have you seen it?
370
00:27:58,105 --> 00:27:59,905
It's hiding.
371
00:28:02,265 --> 00:28:06,265
Our plan to raise without gender,
372
00:28:06,705 --> 00:28:11,585
is something we didn't discuss much
373
00:28:11,705 --> 00:28:14,545
because it was practically
obvious and unavoidable.
374
00:28:14,665 --> 00:28:19,665
In fact, if you look
at trans couples in which one…
375
00:28:19,825 --> 00:28:21,745
at least one
of the two people is trans,
376
00:28:22,105 --> 00:28:24,225
it's a very common thing.
377
00:28:24,505 --> 00:28:27,945
The day our baby was born,
378
00:28:28,265 --> 00:28:30,585
you are so happy, you know?
379
00:28:30,705 --> 00:28:34,265
You call your mother,
"Well, congratulations grandma!"
380
00:28:34,905 --> 00:28:38,585
Everything is fine but she says,
"Your father wants to talk to you."
381
00:28:40,545 --> 00:28:42,905
And he goes and tells me,
382
00:28:43,185 --> 00:28:45,865
"Well, it's just that this
you're doing is not good at all!"
383
00:28:46,185 --> 00:28:51,065
It's okay you're not telling us
if it's a boy or a girl,
384
00:28:51,185 --> 00:28:53,305
but we want to know
if it's male or female.
385
00:28:53,425 --> 00:28:54,825
Male or female!
386
00:28:54,985 --> 00:28:56,265
"We have to be able to say it!"
387
00:28:56,385 --> 00:28:59,905
As if it were a right.
Because, of course, what a shame!
388
00:29:00,025 --> 00:29:03,825
"What a shame when we're asked
and we don't know what to say."
389
00:29:04,505 --> 00:29:09,705
They have to accept it,
and sooner or later they end up doing it,
390
00:29:09,825 --> 00:29:15,265
although they didn't always fully agree
with what we have asked them.
391
00:29:15,385 --> 00:29:18,105
And in the end
we got tired of asking.
392
00:29:18,225 --> 00:29:21,665
I mean… I don't know…
393
00:29:23,545 --> 00:29:27,145
But, well, with this situation,
394
00:29:28,185 --> 00:29:33,105
three days after the baby was born,
395
00:29:34,345 --> 00:29:39,185
of course there was a very odd
atmosphere in our family.
396
00:29:39,585 --> 00:29:42,145
They didn't come to visit us
as there was COVID.
397
00:29:42,345 --> 00:29:44,745
A good thing was
that visitors couldn't come to the hospital
398
00:29:44,865 --> 00:29:47,425
and this gave us
a much-needed peace of mind.
399
00:29:48,785 --> 00:29:51,265
But three days later,
when we were home,
400
00:29:51,785 --> 00:29:54,585
chatting on Whatsapp
with my mother,
401
00:29:54,705 --> 00:29:57,065
she told she was very sad,
she couldn't stop crying,
402
00:29:57,185 --> 00:30:01,265
because she couldn't explain
what was the gender and so
403
00:30:01,665 --> 00:30:04,385
and then
I had not yet come out of the closet
404
00:30:05,745 --> 00:30:08,545
and that was the moment
when I came out on WhatsApp.
405
00:30:08,705 --> 00:30:13,745
I said, "Look, mom, let's see
if this way you understand it better".
406
00:30:14,225 --> 00:30:21,385
And I was like "you really don't see,
it's been a few years now"
407
00:30:21,625 --> 00:30:24,145
I don't even grow a beard,
that I don't...
408
00:30:24,265 --> 00:30:27,585
That I always wear make-up,
that I dress feminine,
409
00:30:27,705 --> 00:30:29,945
that Carla
always speaks to me in feminine,
410
00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:31,785
and she refers to me in feminine.
411
00:30:32,105 --> 00:30:34,305
Don't you see that these things
are happening?
412
00:30:34,785 --> 00:30:39,105
And she, "Well, you have always been
very extreme",
413
00:30:40,665 --> 00:30:42,785
and then chatted
about something else.
414
00:30:42,905 --> 00:30:45,065
"Hey, mom,
I want to emphasize this,
415
00:30:45,425 --> 00:30:46,425
you haven't noticed..."
416
00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:48,425
And in the end I was like,
417
00:30:48,545 --> 00:30:51,745
"I don't know how long ago
that I've been living as a girl,
418
00:30:51,905 --> 00:30:54,865
that I feel like this,
that my name is Manoly,
419
00:30:54,985 --> 00:30:56,465
that so and so."
420
00:30:58,105 --> 00:31:01,785
And then the lady,
acting truly wonderfully,
421
00:31:01,905 --> 00:31:06,065
she said,
"I don't know what to tell you now.
422
00:31:06,545 --> 00:31:14,505
I can't get it, but I love you very much,
and we'll talk about it."
423
00:31:15,385 --> 00:31:17,625
And that was it.
424
00:31:17,745 --> 00:31:20,025
It's the best answer
that she could give me
425
00:31:20,145 --> 00:31:21,385
if she was in shock.
426
00:31:21,865 --> 00:31:25,105
And then one thing
she told me in the following days
427
00:31:25,225 --> 00:31:27,945
when we were chatting,
she was very sorry.
428
00:31:28,065 --> 00:31:30,265
She was for a long time
with the recurring idea,
429
00:31:30,905 --> 00:31:36,105
that she felt a very deep sorrow
that she didn't realize before.
430
00:31:37,105 --> 00:31:39,465
And for her too, I mean,
it was a liberation.
431
00:31:39,585 --> 00:31:44,145
With my family
I had always led hidden lives,
432
00:31:44,545 --> 00:31:48,785
I had never felt at ease
or with the capacity to open up.
433
00:31:50,025 --> 00:31:54,185
And now the relationship
has improved a lot after this.
434
00:31:55,025 --> 00:31:57,825
Well, they think
and do their thing,
435
00:31:57,945 --> 00:32:01,385
and although they don't fully get it,
and they don't know how to deal
436
00:32:01,505 --> 00:32:05,625
with the gender-neutral parenting,
it does make more sense.
437
00:32:06,105 --> 00:32:10,025
And as a result of that they look at it
from a more respectful point of view
438
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:14,425
and careful with our views.
439
00:32:29,545 --> 00:32:34,145
Well, I think
it's a place that really…
440
00:32:34,865 --> 00:32:38,225
I mean, I was very much against
the whole issue of ableism,
441
00:32:39,265 --> 00:32:43,745
linked to the image
and the understanding they make
442
00:32:43,865 --> 00:32:45,745
of the child's behavior.
443
00:32:45,865 --> 00:32:49,505
It's the same as with gender
there is an erroneous vision, right?
444
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:52,745
Well, the ableism vision
for me was also wrong.
445
00:32:53,825 --> 00:32:57,305
But in reality it is something
that if you look at it outside of…
446
00:32:59,785 --> 00:33:07,225
of being as if you were observing
some deficits, that is to say...
447
00:33:09,585 --> 00:33:11,985
I mean, outside of this understanding
it's cool
448
00:33:12,545 --> 00:33:16,225
and I think all children
should have access to, right?
449
00:33:16,345 --> 00:33:19,665
Especially all mothers and fathers
450
00:33:19,785 --> 00:33:22,705
because it is still
an accompaniment
451
00:33:23,305 --> 00:33:26,385
when you have no idea, right?
Because you are a novice.
452
00:33:27,345 --> 00:33:29,625
And it is an accompaniment
to development.
453
00:33:30,185 --> 00:33:32,145
You basically go there to play, right?
454
00:33:32,265 --> 00:33:34,185
And they tell you things.
455
00:33:35,465 --> 00:33:36,985
They give you clues, right?
456
00:33:37,665 --> 00:33:42,345
Things you can do, I don't know,
it's been good for us,
457
00:33:43,545 --> 00:33:45,985
for me and Carla as adults, you know?
458
00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:48,345
To gain skills.
459
00:34:21,345 --> 00:34:24,825
I usually read about topics
that are pretty much the same,
460
00:34:25,785 --> 00:34:29,065
but then I like to read
this kind of stuff.
461
00:34:29,185 --> 00:34:32,105
I would love to read Stephen Hawking,
for example,
462
00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:33,705
it's interesting.
463
00:34:45,065 --> 00:34:46,945
We are already in my neighborhood.
464
00:34:58,345 --> 00:35:01,945
My father,
well, he might know because once,
465
00:35:02,345 --> 00:35:07,465
I remember when I was very young,
when I was 22 or so,
466
00:35:08,185 --> 00:35:10,265
I was about to go on a date.
467
00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:13,945
I was at my father's house
and then I was going on a date.
468
00:35:14,225 --> 00:35:18,225
So I was putting on my makeup,
getting ready, I don't know.
469
00:35:18,665 --> 00:35:20,305
And my father said,
"Where are you going?"
470
00:35:21,065 --> 00:35:24,465
I'm going to see my friend Kathleen…
471
00:35:24,945 --> 00:35:27,225
"Oh, that's so cool!
What are you going to do?"
472
00:35:27,345 --> 00:35:28,665
"Well, we'll have dinner".
473
00:35:28,785 --> 00:35:32,185
"You're looking very pretty.
Is it a date?"
474
00:35:32,545 --> 00:35:37,025
And I suddenly got very nervous.
475
00:35:37,145 --> 00:35:39,201
I don't know why I didn't expect that
from my father.
476
00:35:39,225 --> 00:35:43,905
My father is a guy who doesn't ask
about a lot of things, like a basic guy.
477
00:35:44,665 --> 00:35:47,905
He doesn't ask at all, you know?
Super basic.
478
00:35:48,025 --> 00:35:51,025
Then, all of a sudden,
my dad comes in, he's worried,
479
00:35:51,145 --> 00:35:58,385
not worried, but asking about me,
my romantic life, I don't know.
480
00:36:00,385 --> 00:36:01,985
It made me very nervous.
481
00:36:02,105 --> 00:36:04,625
I don't know,
it was a moment where...
482
00:36:05,225 --> 00:36:06,985
Now I always think
of that moment,
483
00:36:07,105 --> 00:36:08,921
because it could have been
a really cool moment,
484
00:36:08,945 --> 00:36:14,385
when I could've talked to him,
came out of the closet, all this stuff.
485
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:19,025
But I was so in shock
that I didn't seize the moment.
486
00:36:19,185 --> 00:36:20,625
"No, no, no, no way!",
487
00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:24,145
and then I closed the bathroom door,
488
00:36:24,545 --> 00:36:27,665
and I was like super nervous,
I ran out of his house.
489
00:36:28,345 --> 00:36:31,905
We never spoke again about that day,
even though I'd like to,
490
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:34,585
but now it's been like 10 years.
491
00:36:35,305 --> 00:36:36,465
I'm not going back to my dad,
492
00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:38,825
"Do you remember 10 years ago
when you asked me
493
00:36:38,945 --> 00:36:40,401
if I was going on a date with the girl?
494
00:36:40,425 --> 00:36:44,425
Well, I had a date with a girl,
and she was my girlfriend."
495
00:36:44,745 --> 00:36:48,105
I also think that my blood family
496
00:36:48,225 --> 00:36:50,745
is not my family either,
they're my family that doesn't know.
497
00:36:50,865 --> 00:36:53,265
In the end they don't know
much about me.
498
00:36:53,705 --> 00:36:57,265
You know?
My family is my gay, queer family,
499
00:36:58,545 --> 00:37:01,185
rainbow family that...
500
00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:03,225
they really know me.
501
00:37:26,145 --> 00:37:29,225
Look me in the eye. Close here.
502
00:37:31,505 --> 00:37:33,785
- Here.
- Okay, it's going away.
503
00:37:33,905 --> 00:37:35,945
- Here!
- Yes!
504
00:37:36,865 --> 00:37:38,825
But not with the head,
only with the eyes.
505
00:37:40,185 --> 00:37:41,985
What a beautiful chin.
506
00:37:43,985 --> 00:37:48,585
It was like...
I don't know whether to call it a crush.
507
00:37:48,985 --> 00:37:50,425
Does that really exist?
508
00:37:50,545 --> 00:37:52,241
It hadn't happened to me
with another person,
509
00:37:52,265 --> 00:37:57,025
but it was like a connection of...
"I want to know, I want to know"
510
00:37:57,145 --> 00:38:01,065
and obviously physically
I loved them and I love them.
511
00:38:01,185 --> 00:38:05,145
With hair, without hair,
with skirt and with pants
512
00:38:05,465 --> 00:38:07,825
I mean... A lot.
513
00:38:08,465 --> 00:38:12,665
I don't know,
it was like a I want to know more,
514
00:38:12,785 --> 00:38:16,385
I wanna meet them and wanna know more,
I wanna have them around.
515
00:38:18,985 --> 00:38:19,985
I'm sorry.
516
00:38:28,625 --> 00:38:30,345
Why didn't you do it in the middle?
517
00:38:32,385 --> 00:38:34,865
I didn't either.
Because I don't like it.
518
00:38:35,385 --> 00:38:36,385
Okay.
519
00:38:37,185 --> 00:38:39,065
- Do you want me to do it for you?
- No.
520
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:41,985
That day…
521
00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:44,065
The day you came with your friend,
522
00:38:44,865 --> 00:38:47,225
- you left your ID card around here.
- Okay.
523
00:38:47,905 --> 00:38:50,825
And I went to see
your name to call you by your name
524
00:38:50,945 --> 00:38:54,065
and not to say: "Hey!,
you left your ID card".
525
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:58,385
And then I was super worried that…
526
00:38:59,105 --> 00:39:01,265
I mean,
it's kind of complicated to tell this.
527
00:39:01,385 --> 00:39:02,601
We didn't introduced ourselves.
528
00:39:02,625 --> 00:39:04,025
We didn't know our names.
529
00:39:04,145 --> 00:39:07,745
And, of course, at that time,
I mean, I had a lot of problems...
530
00:39:07,865 --> 00:39:10,105
I didn't know if she liked girls,
531
00:39:10,225 --> 00:39:11,385
or didn't like girls,
532
00:39:11,545 --> 00:39:14,585
or who she liked.
I didn't even know if...
533
00:39:14,745 --> 00:39:16,505
What was your life,
I didn't know anything.
534
00:39:16,785 --> 00:39:19,425
And then of course.
Since I already have some experience
535
00:39:19,545 --> 00:39:23,945
with people rejecting you just because
you are the way you are,
536
00:39:24,265 --> 00:39:26,945
not just for being a lesbian
537
00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:28,985
or for being trans
or for being non-binary
538
00:39:29,105 --> 00:39:30,345
or being whatever you are,
539
00:39:30,585 --> 00:39:33,265
not for how you are on the inside.
540
00:39:34,225 --> 00:39:39,385
Well, I was really afraid
that she would be biased.
541
00:39:40,225 --> 00:39:42,241
That she'd say,
"I don't even want to meet this person
542
00:39:42,265 --> 00:39:44,865
because this person is a deviant,
543
00:39:44,985 --> 00:39:46,265
some form of otherness, right?"
544
00:39:46,505 --> 00:39:48,305
There are
a lot of people like that, honey,
545
00:39:48,425 --> 00:39:50,706
you're not like that,
but there are many people like that,
546
00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:53,465
and I've come across many people
during my life.
547
00:39:53,745 --> 00:39:57,865
And the truth is you get to a point
that you close yourself off and say,
548
00:39:57,985 --> 00:39:59,785
"I don't want to meet
these kind of people."
549
00:39:59,985 --> 00:40:02,865
Or, "I'll try to get
through this suffering"
550
00:40:03,025 --> 00:40:05,905
of they getting to know me
as I am and like me,
551
00:40:06,025 --> 00:40:07,385
and open their mind
and tell them…
552
00:40:07,505 --> 00:40:10,345
People... I mean,
but in her case,
553
00:40:11,025 --> 00:40:12,425
of course I didn't know what...
554
00:40:12,905 --> 00:40:15,105
I mean,
I didn't know what she was like.
555
00:40:15,425 --> 00:40:18,585
And so I was very afraid
556
00:40:19,425 --> 00:40:24,785
that she would know that I was
non-binary and she would get scared.
557
00:40:25,585 --> 00:40:27,505
Lower a little, no, the eye.
558
00:40:46,865 --> 00:40:50,625
Much better, thank you, love.
I love it.
559
00:41:34,425 --> 00:41:40,025
In all the communities I've lived in,
well, not all of them, but...
560
00:41:40,545 --> 00:41:42,025
yes, there were dykes.
561
00:41:42,345 --> 00:41:44,665
For me it's super important
that there are dykes
562
00:41:44,865 --> 00:41:47,185
in the communities, and nearby,
563
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,625
because they have another vibe.
564
00:41:49,745 --> 00:41:53,865
The communication,
the language, the jokes,
565
00:41:53,985 --> 00:41:55,945
I mean,
it's your identity, isn't it?
566
00:41:56,065 --> 00:41:57,185
It's like...
567
00:41:58,065 --> 00:42:02,625
So everywhere I've been
there were dykes.
568
00:42:02,945 --> 00:42:04,185
I'll get some water later,
569
00:42:04,305 --> 00:42:09,625
because I was a little absent-minded
and I left a tap running.
570
00:42:09,945 --> 00:42:11,945
- You emptied it all.
- I know.
571
00:42:12,065 --> 00:42:14,545
There doesn't seem to be much oil.
572
00:42:15,305 --> 00:42:17,625
- I think there must be some.
- Is it two-stroke oil?
573
00:42:17,745 --> 00:42:20,305
- No, it's engine oil.
- Okay.
574
00:42:21,785 --> 00:42:25,345
- Well, there it is.
- Great.
575
00:42:25,705 --> 00:42:27,585
And vroom, vroom, vroom.
576
00:42:27,705 --> 00:42:29,145
And that's it.
577
00:42:29,665 --> 00:42:33,785
And the truth is
that I've always had the desire
578
00:42:34,225 --> 00:42:41,345
or tried to project the whole issue
of the relational hierarchy
579
00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:47,145
and to have
some big affective networks, right?
580
00:42:47,305 --> 00:42:49,705
It seems that if you don't have
a sex-affective bond,
581
00:42:49,825 --> 00:42:52,705
the bond isn't that strong.
582
00:42:53,425 --> 00:42:56,785
I've seen a lot of friends suffer
a lot too,
583
00:42:56,905 --> 00:43:00,625
who had a bond with someone
and that person disappeared.
584
00:43:01,865 --> 00:43:05,225
It's a very interesting topic.
585
00:43:05,425 --> 00:43:07,665
You know, I would like to have this.
586
00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,625
My ideal couple
is three of us at least, you know?
587
00:43:12,385 --> 00:43:14,665
Because this way,
I have my time for me.
588
00:43:16,665 --> 00:43:18,585
And, I don't know,
everything is more diluted.
589
00:43:18,865 --> 00:43:22,465
But I also think that...
I mean, I used to think a lot too…
590
00:43:22,625 --> 00:43:25,705
about the collective upbringing.
591
00:43:25,825 --> 00:43:28,385
You start from that ideal,
and then you see it doesn't work,
592
00:43:28,505 --> 00:43:31,105
that the mother is the mother
and the baby is the baby
593
00:43:31,225 --> 00:43:34,305
and they have a bond
that you can share and be there,
594
00:43:34,425 --> 00:43:36,905
but it's not that easy.
595
00:43:37,585 --> 00:43:40,025
There are other things,
and it's also cool
596
00:43:40,545 --> 00:43:42,265
to let things be like that.
597
00:43:42,985 --> 00:43:48,665
Anyway, the ideal is there too
and it's cool.
598
00:44:06,025 --> 00:44:08,905
I was out there living
and people started to say,
599
00:44:09,025 --> 00:44:12,105
"Alf is coming with some goats!"
600
00:44:12,225 --> 00:44:14,825
And I said, "Who is this?
Who is Alf with some goats?"
601
00:44:15,065 --> 00:44:19,905
But you already knew it was me.
We've met before.
602
00:44:20,025 --> 00:44:22,305
Yes, but I didn't remember
your name, actually.
603
00:44:22,425 --> 00:44:24,705
Yeah, I'm very bad with names.
604
00:44:24,825 --> 00:44:25,905
I didn't remember.
605
00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:29,465
So from here on
we started living together.
606
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:31,665
- Living together.
- It made us love each other.
607
00:44:31,785 --> 00:44:33,665
I love you very much,
we love each other.
608
00:44:33,785 --> 00:44:35,185
I love you too.
609
00:44:35,745 --> 00:44:37,505
This is our story.
610
00:44:37,625 --> 00:44:39,425
And we do a lot together.
611
00:44:39,545 --> 00:44:41,505
- Yes, of course.
- In the end,
612
00:44:41,625 --> 00:44:44,705
we are our dyke team
in the area.
613
00:44:45,305 --> 00:44:48,225
- There used to be more dykes around.
- From the municipality!
614
00:44:48,385 --> 00:44:50,105
There were a few of us.
615
00:44:50,265 --> 00:44:52,425
Me and Alf could have made out,
616
00:44:52,545 --> 00:44:54,905
because we like
more or less the same things.
617
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:58,705
We have a lot in common,
but we live together too.
618
00:44:59,225 --> 00:45:01,185
And then sometimes I think,
619
00:45:01,305 --> 00:45:03,785
"Okay, I may like Alf a lot
620
00:45:03,905 --> 00:45:05,665
because of the way Alf is."
621
00:45:05,865 --> 00:45:11,785
But I don't want our living space
to stop being a safe space
622
00:45:11,905 --> 00:45:13,361
so we have to start taking care of it.
623
00:45:13,385 --> 00:45:17,105
"Listen, there's this girl coming
to spend a weekend with me",
624
00:45:17,225 --> 00:45:19,265
then she may say,
"Shoot, I don't want to see that."
625
00:45:19,385 --> 00:45:20,801
- Or something like that.
- Yes, of course.
626
00:45:20,825 --> 00:45:24,385
It's a big deal.
So Alf becomes a person who doesn't...
627
00:45:24,505 --> 00:45:28,625
- Better to build a friendship.
- Yes.
628
00:45:29,625 --> 00:45:32,545
And then the same thing
with Casanova, you know?
629
00:45:32,665 --> 00:45:35,185
The thing is
you can be with someone,
630
00:45:35,305 --> 00:45:37,001
and I don't feel like being
with that person,
631
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:39,665
because I don't like endogamy.
632
00:45:40,265 --> 00:45:42,265
And if you you make out
with three people
633
00:45:42,385 --> 00:45:43,705
then there's no one else here.
634
00:45:44,665 --> 00:45:46,785
- It's the truth.
- Yes, it's like that.
635
00:45:46,905 --> 00:45:48,305
And there is no one in Valls.
636
00:45:48,425 --> 00:45:50,481
And if there is, she's also a friend
of a friend of yours
637
00:45:50,505 --> 00:45:51,785
or she's an ex of an ex of yours
638
00:45:51,905 --> 00:45:53,945
and wee're back
in the topic of endogamy.
639
00:45:54,385 --> 00:45:57,745
And if you get into apps,
what you get is a reality.
640
00:45:57,865 --> 00:45:59,825
The rural areas are deserted
641
00:46:00,145 --> 00:46:02,705
and that what young people do
is to go to the city.
642
00:46:02,945 --> 00:46:07,025
And then you think,
I have come to live here.
643
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,305
I don't want to create
an emotional bond
644
00:46:09,425 --> 00:46:12,025
or I don't feel like creating
an emotional bond with someone
645
00:46:12,185 --> 00:46:13,905
who is more than an hour away by car,
646
00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:19,225
and on top of that, the economic expense
that involves getting there and back.
647
00:46:36,905 --> 00:46:38,585
Lesbos was...
648
00:46:39,105 --> 00:46:41,985
I was fifty years round,
sorry, sixty!
649
00:46:42,385 --> 00:46:44,185
Yes because we celebrated your...
650
00:46:44,305 --> 00:46:46,865
60th birthday.
She came to my birthday.
651
00:46:46,985 --> 00:46:48,825
And I didn't know
whose birthday was.
652
00:46:49,185 --> 00:46:51,345
And she didn't know
who was celebrating the birthday.
653
00:46:51,465 --> 00:46:53,945
I signed up for the birthday
because when they did one there,
654
00:46:54,065 --> 00:46:57,025
they brought little things,
everybody participated…
655
00:46:57,145 --> 00:46:59,985
And they told me,
"It's her birthday".
656
00:47:00,105 --> 00:47:05,025
I didn't even know her name,
and I signed up to eat ham.
657
00:47:05,465 --> 00:47:06,825
I still remember.
658
00:47:07,065 --> 00:47:11,545
This happened
at the bar La Nostra Illa.
659
00:47:11,825 --> 00:47:14,265
We turned 60 in March,
660
00:47:14,385 --> 00:47:15,625
and this was in August.
661
00:47:16,265 --> 00:47:18,665
It was a year,
662
00:47:18,785 --> 00:47:22,185
since I had left a second partner I had.
663
00:47:22,505 --> 00:47:23,825
For eight years.
664
00:47:25,545 --> 00:47:27,105
We split up.
665
00:47:27,225 --> 00:47:31,265
Our goals were not the same
and it was over.
666
00:47:32,065 --> 00:47:36,705
And I had been single
for a year and a half.
667
00:47:36,865 --> 00:47:39,625
For year and a half
that I was available,
668
00:47:39,745 --> 00:47:43,945
I had no intention of formalizing
669
00:47:44,065 --> 00:47:48,265
a continuous, serious,
monogamous relationship,
670
00:47:48,385 --> 00:47:50,825
with a single woman.
671
00:47:51,345 --> 00:47:54,585
I had no intention, I was in no hurry.
672
00:47:54,705 --> 00:47:55,865
What do you mean by that?
673
00:47:55,985 --> 00:48:01,065
I mean that I wanted no commitment
of mandatory loyalty.
674
00:48:01,305 --> 00:48:06,545
I didn't want to just be a...
675
00:48:06,705 --> 00:48:09,545
a couple, I didn't want to go back
to having a steady partner again,
676
00:48:09,785 --> 00:48:12,345
so to say.
677
00:48:13,665 --> 00:48:15,745
But things were the way they were.
678
00:48:16,665 --> 00:48:19,865
But the relationship was a bit scary
at the beginning.
679
00:48:20,745 --> 00:48:22,865
I mean, for each of us,
680
00:48:23,185 --> 00:48:25,545
you were fine with the other person,
681
00:48:25,665 --> 00:48:27,905
but we both wanted to live alone.
682
00:48:28,145 --> 00:48:32,145
So there was a rational part
683
00:48:32,705 --> 00:48:36,305
that said "let's see what happens".
684
00:48:36,745 --> 00:48:39,065
And another said, "Right now?"
685
00:48:39,225 --> 00:48:43,585
Start and change everything,
but I'm fine now,
686
00:48:43,785 --> 00:48:45,585
I mean, why do I have to change things
687
00:48:45,705 --> 00:48:47,345
if there could be problems later,
688
00:48:47,465 --> 00:48:49,505
I'm fine, I'm on my own",
689
00:48:50,025 --> 00:48:52,065
and she thought the same.
690
00:48:52,185 --> 00:48:55,185
So we were saying, "Shoot…"
691
00:48:55,865 --> 00:48:59,425
To the point that this year
we couldn't stand it any longer
692
00:48:59,545 --> 00:49:00,585
and we got married.
693
00:49:00,785 --> 00:49:02,705
True, I didn't remember!
694
00:49:03,505 --> 00:49:07,145
We got married more legally than…
695
00:49:07,465 --> 00:49:08,505
Yes.
696
00:49:09,545 --> 00:49:13,785
And then, of course, we went there
to sign the papers
697
00:49:13,905 --> 00:49:16,665
and they told us
that we had to go to a judge,
698
00:49:16,785 --> 00:49:18,145
that we have to say some things.
699
00:49:18,625 --> 00:49:21,345
But it's not necessary,
we sign the paper and that's it.
700
00:49:21,665 --> 00:49:24,785
Well no,
the lady did like a mini wedding
701
00:49:24,905 --> 00:49:28,465
because they wouldn't let
all the people in.
702
00:49:28,785 --> 00:49:32,025
Because it was in full pandemic,
on March, May!
703
00:49:32,185 --> 00:49:34,865
- My son came.
- And my sister.
704
00:49:34,985 --> 00:49:37,865
And her sister,
and then, when it was time to...
705
00:49:38,305 --> 00:49:41,905
- The two of them signed.
- And then we ate a little bit...
706
00:49:42,025 --> 00:49:45,585
- We went for lunch, and that's it.
- That's what we did.
707
00:49:46,145 --> 00:49:49,305
Has the idea of love changed in you
708
00:49:49,425 --> 00:49:51,185
as lesbians over the years?
709
00:49:51,345 --> 00:49:53,145
Or has it not?
Or has it stayed the same?
710
00:49:53,865 --> 00:49:57,265
Referring to what that people say,
"when you grow up you'll see."
711
00:49:58,025 --> 00:50:00,585
When you grow up you'll see,
I don't know what you have to see.
712
00:50:00,705 --> 00:50:02,465
Because what does it mean to grow up?
713
00:50:03,705 --> 00:50:11,545
Love stays the same,
because attraction and desire,
714
00:50:12,105 --> 00:50:18,705
if it's alive and new,
then it's like this at 60, 50 and 70.
715
00:50:19,545 --> 00:50:24,065
Sincerely it has not changed for me
716
00:50:24,225 --> 00:50:30,345
and that idea of reason and prudence
and be cautious,
717
00:50:31,025 --> 00:50:33,425
maybe this does make you a bit...
718
00:50:33,625 --> 00:50:37,145
Age slows you down a little bit,
it makes you be a little more prudent.
719
00:50:37,265 --> 00:50:39,745
And maybe the experience
from before, well...
720
00:50:39,905 --> 00:50:41,825
- Of course, it's important.
- Yes.
721
00:50:41,945 --> 00:50:46,065
But, you know,
in fact we jumped in anyways.
722
00:50:52,025 --> 00:50:57,585
Two. One space. Three.
723
00:50:58,865 --> 00:51:00,865
Names of murdered women.
724
00:51:01,025 --> 00:51:02,065
Seventy...
725
00:51:03,305 --> 00:51:05,425
We have to leave
a space, just in case.
726
00:51:05,545 --> 00:51:07,025
Up to October 31.
727
00:51:08,745 --> 00:51:13,665
- Women killed.
- So far.
728
00:51:15,425 --> 00:51:17,345
For some women, being at home
729
00:51:17,465 --> 00:51:19,705
doesn't mean peace, but violence.
730
00:51:20,225 --> 00:51:21,625
This one is missing.
731
00:51:24,345 --> 00:51:26,985
You can also put it.
I can put it too.
732
00:51:27,185 --> 00:51:29,505
Okay, this one and this one.
733
00:51:29,905 --> 00:51:35,305
Send by Whatsapp.
734
00:51:40,305 --> 00:51:41,745
Okay, let's see.
735
00:51:57,545 --> 00:52:00,825
Okay, but let's do it
where we have put the mark.
736
00:52:01,385 --> 00:52:04,625
And we work around this,
if later we see we don't, then...
737
00:52:05,225 --> 00:52:06,985
As today they will have the lights.
738
00:52:07,505 --> 00:52:09,225
Maybe they can orient themselves better.
739
00:52:09,345 --> 00:52:10,825
Sure. That's it.
740
00:52:10,945 --> 00:52:14,265
There's no better mark
than a spotlight, you know?
741
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:23,385
My mother worked it out,
her dream was always to be a grandmother.
742
00:52:23,745 --> 00:52:25,505
She wanted to be a grandmother
743
00:52:25,785 --> 00:52:29,145
and between this and the fact
that she felt bad for not seeing me...
744
00:52:29,465 --> 00:52:34,585
For not having seen me before
how I was and her desire to establish...
745
00:52:36,025 --> 00:52:39,585
a strong relationship
with her daughter, right?
746
00:52:39,785 --> 00:52:43,745
All her life she has always sought
to understand me.
747
00:52:44,025 --> 00:52:45,305
And she never understood me.
748
00:52:45,945 --> 00:52:48,905
And now all of a sudden,
she had a door to understand me deeply,
749
00:52:49,025 --> 00:52:50,785
to understand many things, right?
750
00:52:51,225 --> 00:52:55,425
And the truth is
that I am very happy
751
00:52:55,545 --> 00:52:58,705
of the role she has played.
752
00:52:58,985 --> 00:53:01,665
I remember one day
that really touched me.
753
00:53:02,185 --> 00:53:06,025
We were having lunch at her house,
and she came to me,
754
00:53:06,265 --> 00:53:09,705
"Well, Manoly, look..."
755
00:53:09,905 --> 00:53:12,665
Do you remember this bracelet
that we gave you and your sister
756
00:53:12,785 --> 00:53:14,305
when you were eighteen years old?
757
00:53:14,865 --> 00:53:18,945
A horrible gold bracelet
that I put away...
758
00:53:19,425 --> 00:53:21,745
I don't want this,
and I never used it.
759
00:53:22,185 --> 00:53:25,305
It had written my deadname on it,
and when she told me this I was,
760
00:53:25,425 --> 00:53:27,465
"Mum, don't fuck it up".
761
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:30,345
Don't bring that jewel back
because I don't want it.
762
00:53:30,825 --> 00:53:33,385
And suddenly she gave it to me,
it's this one here.
763
00:53:34,105 --> 00:53:36,905
The lady had taken it
764
00:53:37,025 --> 00:53:40,585
to a jewelry store
to have the name changed.
765
00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,825
And it is still ugly as hell
because it is,
766
00:53:44,065 --> 00:53:47,745
but I've never taken it off since then
because it's so beautiful.
767
00:53:48,385 --> 00:53:51,865
I mean, that gesture was…
Carla and I were there like...
768
00:53:52,985 --> 00:53:54,345
What's just happened?!
769
00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:57,705
I mean, how cool is that?
Isn't it wonderful?
770
00:53:57,825 --> 00:54:02,545
And then I knew that's it, right?
That's it.
771
00:54:02,865 --> 00:54:04,505
Now she have to assume
that I'm a lesbian,
772
00:54:04,745 --> 00:54:06,505
I don't know
if she's thought about it,
773
00:54:06,625 --> 00:54:08,825
I haven't told her either,
"Mom, I'm a lesbian",
774
00:54:09,185 --> 00:54:13,145
I mean, it's a closet
that I didn't have to come out from.
775
00:54:19,425 --> 00:54:22,105
I'm thinking we won't go upstairs...
776
00:54:23,185 --> 00:54:26,905
I'll try to see what happens
if I take them like this...
777
00:54:27,265 --> 00:54:29,945
It's closer anyway,
to see how it goes.
778
00:54:30,305 --> 00:54:32,025
Like fake it from underneath.
779
00:54:34,345 --> 00:54:36,745
We'll put this here,
if it works, great, and if it doesn't...
780
00:54:38,625 --> 00:54:41,305
This is
what I wanted to tell you before.
781
00:54:41,425 --> 00:54:42,825
I know.
782
00:54:44,225 --> 00:54:46,905
Anyway, it doesn't get too hot.
783
00:54:47,185 --> 00:54:48,665
No, nothing.
784
00:54:49,305 --> 00:54:51,345
I lose my train of thought.
785
00:54:52,625 --> 00:54:57,825
We got a very nice technician,
but he's so patronizing…
786
00:54:59,585 --> 00:55:03,345
I'm telling you things
that you already know.
787
00:55:07,785 --> 00:55:11,785
You never get out of this one.
There is always someone
788
00:55:13,745 --> 00:55:15,705
who exudes good vibes.
789
00:55:19,865 --> 00:55:21,185
You know that already.
790
00:55:29,985 --> 00:55:31,265
The only time I've...
791
00:55:31,385 --> 00:55:32,465
Does Kokoko ring a bell?
792
00:55:33,825 --> 00:55:36,185
No, with a K?
793
00:55:38,825 --> 00:55:41,705
I don't know if it's familiar for Joko
or like Kokoko...
794
00:55:42,705 --> 00:55:45,705
- I mean, Joko as in...
- With Ks.
795
00:55:46,465 --> 00:55:50,665
They have released a movie
and they will release it today
796
00:55:50,785 --> 00:55:54,425
or they will do something today
and I wanted to go,
797
00:55:54,625 --> 00:55:58,025
to tune my musical ear.
798
00:55:58,585 --> 00:55:59,945
Will you come to sleep later?
799
00:56:00,265 --> 00:56:02,745
Yes, I told you so.
800
00:56:04,105 --> 00:56:05,705
Cool, I want to cuddle.
801
00:56:08,385 --> 00:56:09,465
Okay.
802
00:56:10,105 --> 00:56:14,545
Some cuddles.
Give me some cuddles.
803
00:56:16,265 --> 00:56:17,425
I'm good with that.
804
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:19,825
Cuddles.
805
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:24,705
Basically the judgment
that we can receive
806
00:56:24,825 --> 00:56:26,865
from people from the Afro community,
807
00:56:27,065 --> 00:56:28,385
especially older people,
808
00:56:28,505 --> 00:56:32,465
is that they are critical within,
I wouldn't even say ignorance,
809
00:56:32,585 --> 00:56:35,425
but within what they have in society.
810
00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:37,585
If one grows up in a Muslim society,
811
00:56:37,705 --> 00:56:40,041
back in Senegal, for example,
which is what I can talk about
812
00:56:40,065 --> 00:56:41,145
because that's what I know.
813
00:56:41,225 --> 00:56:42,305
Even if you are not Muslim,
814
00:56:42,385 --> 00:56:44,585
you are in a majority Muslim country.
815
00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:47,745
So there are a lot of things
that have crossed over from religion
816
00:56:47,865 --> 00:56:49,545
to the culture as such, you know?
817
00:56:49,865 --> 00:56:53,465
So it's not an attack like
"You fucking dyke!",
818
00:56:53,585 --> 00:56:56,305
but the thought of:
These European girls…
819
00:56:56,425 --> 00:56:58,905
These African girls
who have grown up in Europe,
820
00:56:59,065 --> 00:57:01,745
have adopted
the bad habits of Europe.
821
00:57:01,865 --> 00:57:02,865
From the West.
822
00:57:02,985 --> 00:57:04,641
For example, I actually know
that with my mother,
823
00:57:04,665 --> 00:57:07,065
all her drama comes
from this sentence I just said.
824
00:57:07,185 --> 00:57:10,145
It is not that she thinks
that I am committing a sin.
825
00:57:10,345 --> 00:57:14,145
It's more like I've let my daughter
to be poisoned by Europe.
826
00:57:15,145 --> 00:57:16,945
And it's something
that makes me laugh a lot,
827
00:57:17,065 --> 00:57:19,305
especially from people
like our parents.
828
00:57:19,425 --> 00:57:21,505
My mother now is very religious.
829
00:57:22,425 --> 00:57:25,185
And you say that Islam
has never been instilled in you…
830
00:57:25,305 --> 00:57:27,025
First of all,
is what I said the other day,
831
00:57:27,145 --> 00:57:30,745
if you raise a daughter or a son
with a white person,
832
00:57:30,865 --> 00:57:32,521
there's a lot of things
you have to expect.
833
00:57:32,545 --> 00:57:35,785
And if the child is raised in that country,
I don't know,
834
00:57:35,905 --> 00:57:38,465
you better lock me in the house
to memorize the Koran.
835
00:57:38,585 --> 00:57:40,705
Then maybe
I wouldn't come out as dyke,
836
00:57:40,825 --> 00:57:42,785
but I think I would
and knowing the Koran.
837
00:57:42,945 --> 00:57:45,665
I think we all have
a little bit of this duality
838
00:57:46,145 --> 00:57:47,585
about your identity.
839
00:57:47,745 --> 00:57:50,345
That's what you were saying,
for example,
840
00:57:50,465 --> 00:57:53,505
when I go to Guinea,
I am 100% white there.
841
00:57:53,625 --> 00:57:56,905
In Senegal, I am white
and as you can see I am not white.
842
00:57:57,025 --> 00:58:00,345
Of course. It is due to the fact,
843
00:58:00,465 --> 00:58:01,785
we have grown up here in Europe,
844
00:58:01,905 --> 00:58:05,465
the way we are dressed,
the way we think,
845
00:58:05,585 --> 00:58:08,785
is not the same as what they have.
846
00:58:09,505 --> 00:58:12,265
So you're here
and you don't obviously just identify
847
00:58:12,385 --> 00:58:14,145
with society because it's like...
848
00:58:15,265 --> 00:58:17,145
No, not really.
849
00:58:17,385 --> 00:58:22,425
So I think
that you have to build your identity...
850
00:58:23,425 --> 00:58:27,145
Sometimes I've come to the conclusion
that it is not necessary to say,
851
00:58:27,265 --> 00:58:29,585
"Well, I am such and such..."
852
00:58:30,065 --> 00:58:31,265
Less labels.
853
00:58:31,385 --> 00:58:36,145
Yes, it's a bit more ambiguous in a way…
854
00:58:37,465 --> 00:58:39,905
I don't know, it's like I don't...
855
00:58:41,145 --> 00:58:48,665
I don't want to end up
defining myself as Afrocatalan.
856
00:58:48,785 --> 00:58:52,225
I don't know,
I don't want to put any label on it
857
00:58:52,345 --> 00:58:54,665
because at the end of the day
nothing really represents me,
858
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,105
because there will always be...
859
00:58:56,225 --> 00:58:58,705
I mean, even if I am Catalan
860
00:58:58,865 --> 00:59:00,425
and I was born
with the Catalan culture,
861
00:59:00,625 --> 00:59:03,465
somehow society has this racism
862
00:59:03,585 --> 00:59:05,225
against people who are not white,
863
00:59:05,345 --> 00:59:07,145
so I can't quite identify
864
00:59:07,265 --> 00:59:09,665
with a society that in some way
is also rejecting me.
865
00:59:10,025 --> 00:59:12,985
So it's like... Well, to find...
866
00:59:13,225 --> 00:59:16,305
I think you need to find the way
that you feel comfortable
867
00:59:16,425 --> 00:59:20,425
and also find people
with whom you can relate,
868
00:59:20,545 --> 00:59:25,185
who share in some way
the same experience as you
869
00:59:25,745 --> 00:59:29,265
and how to be comfortable
with this duality.
870
00:59:35,785 --> 00:59:38,145
Sara Glossy! What's up?
871
00:59:38,945 --> 00:59:39,945
Can you hear me?
872
00:59:40,065 --> 00:59:42,745
- Yes, and you?
- Yeah, me too.
873
00:59:42,865 --> 00:59:45,265
How many people are we?
874
00:59:45,385 --> 00:59:49,945
We're like six, seven, eight, nine.
Maybe ten?
875
00:59:50,425 --> 00:59:52,265
- Eight?
- More or less.
876
00:59:52,425 --> 00:59:54,985
I don't think
the alcohol-free beers are needed.
877
00:59:55,105 --> 00:59:56,665
Because there's a lot of things.
878
00:59:57,225 --> 00:59:58,625
- You sure?
- Yes.
879
01:00:00,465 --> 01:00:02,465
Then I'll get something else or…
880
01:00:02,825 --> 01:00:05,265
We're fine.
881
01:00:07,065 --> 01:00:09,385
- Sit dawn. Sat down?
- Sit down.
882
01:00:09,505 --> 01:00:11,305
- Sit down over there.
- Sit dawn or sat down?
883
01:00:11,665 --> 01:00:13,145
Sit down.
884
01:00:13,625 --> 01:00:15,265
Sit dawn!
885
01:00:16,745 --> 01:00:18,185
Sit down where you can.
886
01:00:19,985 --> 01:00:25,265
Okay, this is coconut rice,
with beans and carrots.
887
01:00:25,625 --> 01:00:26,945
All vegan.
888
01:00:29,505 --> 01:00:30,985
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
889
01:00:32,745 --> 01:00:34,465
Rosana, the salad for last, right?
890
01:00:34,665 --> 01:00:36,745
- Huh?
- The salad for last, right?
891
01:00:36,865 --> 01:00:37,945
It's here.
892
01:00:39,585 --> 01:00:41,665
- I already got it.
- I also want some.
893
01:00:42,145 --> 01:00:45,425
- The last thing. Thanks.
- It's there.
894
01:01:03,905 --> 01:01:07,905
In my life not only have I had
to come out of the closet
895
01:01:08,025 --> 01:01:11,585
and say I'm gay,
but I also had to come out
896
01:01:11,705 --> 01:01:14,185
and say that I'm a whore and...
897
01:01:14,625 --> 01:01:17,425
it's crazy
that there are people who...
898
01:01:17,865 --> 01:01:20,265
There are whores, sorry, lesbians,
899
01:01:20,665 --> 01:01:22,945
I made a mistake,
lesbians who don't accept this.
900
01:01:23,065 --> 01:01:26,105
They have to come out of the closet
and live with discrimination,
901
01:01:26,465 --> 01:01:29,625
and when I come out
saying I'm a whore,
902
01:01:30,785 --> 01:01:34,265
it's like if they almost had forgotten
903
01:01:34,385 --> 01:01:37,985
that they suffered
discrimination too, you know?
904
01:01:38,585 --> 01:01:40,185
And this seems crazy to me.
905
01:02:04,785 --> 01:02:08,025
I have experienced rejection
from lesbians talking about my work,
906
01:02:08,345 --> 01:02:12,505
because maybe they see it as...
907
01:02:13,745 --> 01:02:17,745
a betrayal to my sexuality, right?
908
01:02:18,865 --> 01:02:21,145
Which really has nothing to do
with my sexuality.
909
01:02:21,265 --> 01:02:23,185
My work has nothing to do
with my sexuality.
910
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,025
Our jobs in general
911
01:02:25,145 --> 01:02:26,825
have nothing to do
with our sexuality.
912
01:02:27,305 --> 01:02:29,025
It's kind of absurd to think that.
913
01:02:29,185 --> 01:02:35,305
To say, "Oh, you are a nurse,
then you're gay, right?"
914
01:02:35,425 --> 01:02:39,065
Our sexuality has nothing to do
with our work.
915
01:02:39,545 --> 01:02:46,585
But since I work with my body
and I work with sex for my job...
916
01:02:47,545 --> 01:02:51,465
They often relate that my sexuality
has something to do with it.
917
01:03:02,825 --> 01:03:04,105
I love this square.
918
01:03:27,105 --> 01:03:33,265
I have many doubts when it comes
to calling myself a lesbian,
919
01:03:33,385 --> 01:03:37,305
because then someone will come and say,
"you can't be a lesbian because you…
920
01:03:37,665 --> 01:03:39,585
You work with guys."
921
01:03:40,345 --> 01:03:44,705
My job, obviously,
is sex work and it involves sex
922
01:03:44,825 --> 01:03:46,465
with cis men.
923
01:03:46,785 --> 01:03:50,265
I feel like there's
like a certain level of gatekeeping
924
01:03:50,385 --> 01:03:54,185
and also that idea
of being a gold star lesbian,
925
01:03:54,345 --> 01:03:56,945
is also a really good example
of gatekeeping, right?
926
01:03:57,185 --> 01:04:02,505
Deciding who is really
a lesbian and who is not, right?
927
01:04:02,945 --> 01:04:05,665
A gold star lesbian means
928
01:04:05,785 --> 01:04:09,785
someone who has never ever
fucked a guy in her life.
929
01:04:10,665 --> 01:04:17,225
And really if we think that,
then we exclude people who don't…
930
01:04:17,705 --> 01:04:19,345
meet those requirements.
931
01:04:19,465 --> 01:04:21,945
So a lot of lesbians
wouldn't be lesbians,
932
01:04:22,065 --> 01:04:28,545
because a lot of people lived
in the closet or lived other lives
933
01:04:28,745 --> 01:04:30,425
before they came out.
934
01:04:31,305 --> 01:04:32,825
So gatekeeping
935
01:04:32,945 --> 01:04:37,425
can affect
any truly marginalized group.
936
01:04:37,785 --> 01:04:40,345
Like trans women,
937
01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:42,985
racialized women,
women who are whores,
938
01:04:43,145 --> 01:04:44,905
women with functional diversity.
939
01:04:46,185 --> 01:04:50,465
And really...
Yeah, I don't know, it's something
940
01:04:51,825 --> 01:04:53,185
that also happens in many spaces,
941
01:04:53,305 --> 01:04:57,865
not only in the lesbian world,
obviously.
942
01:04:58,025 --> 01:05:02,585
Another thing that they never bring up
is that I have women clients as well.
943
01:05:02,985 --> 01:05:04,265
There are female clients.
944
01:05:04,985 --> 01:05:07,625
There are female clients
who are wonderful.
945
01:05:10,625 --> 01:05:12,065
And I don't know.
946
01:05:12,505 --> 01:05:15,265
I know a lot
of very cool lesbians
947
01:05:15,385 --> 01:05:17,785
who have been in a couple
for a lot of years,
948
01:05:17,945 --> 01:05:19,345
and they've hired a whore.
949
01:05:19,465 --> 01:05:22,985
I think that's awesome,
the coolest thing you can do.
950
01:05:23,985 --> 01:05:26,825
You want a consultation
on something sexual,
951
01:05:26,945 --> 01:05:29,545
why don't you… Oops!
952
01:05:30,665 --> 01:05:33,705
If you want a sexual consultation
about something in your relationship,
953
01:05:33,825 --> 01:05:38,345
why don't you go directly to a whore
who works with sex on a daily basis?
954
01:05:38,465 --> 01:05:40,865
I think this is very cool.
955
01:05:41,265 --> 01:05:43,985
I'm at a point in my life now that,
I haven't reached yet,
956
01:05:44,105 --> 01:05:45,625
but I'm reaching it and above all,
957
01:05:45,745 --> 01:05:47,905
and I'll repeat it a thousand times,
thanks to therapy,
958
01:05:48,385 --> 01:05:51,945
which is knowing that they will talk
whatever you do.
959
01:05:52,545 --> 01:05:56,385
And even more so being women
and more so in a Muslim society,
960
01:05:56,505 --> 01:05:59,065
they will talk no matter what you do:
That you don't get married;
961
01:05:59,105 --> 01:06:00,425
That you get married.
962
01:06:00,945 --> 01:06:04,105
Like, that you send money,
963
01:06:04,305 --> 01:06:06,705
that you don't send money,
why is she not?
964
01:06:06,825 --> 01:06:09,865
Whatever you do, they will talk.
This is something that…
965
01:06:09,985 --> 01:06:11,745
has always been
one of my biggest traumas,
966
01:06:11,865 --> 01:06:13,305
I just didn't know what to do
967
01:06:13,425 --> 01:06:14,905
to keep my society from talking.
968
01:06:15,185 --> 01:06:16,225
They're going to talk.
969
01:06:16,345 --> 01:06:19,305
If I wear blue, they'll talk;
I'm wearing pink, same;
970
01:06:19,425 --> 01:06:21,465
I've shaved my head,
"she shaved her head"
971
01:06:21,585 --> 01:06:24,465
but then four black girls do it,
"they shaved".
972
01:06:24,585 --> 01:06:28,825
It's like... "you do you
and they solve their own problems".
973
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:32,985
What I am doing is exist
without them knowing, you know?
974
01:06:33,105 --> 01:06:34,985
But without hiding it either,
975
01:06:35,105 --> 01:06:37,345
because that is also another burden
that we are carrying.
976
01:06:37,385 --> 01:06:40,105
At the time
when my Instagram was private,
977
01:06:40,225 --> 01:06:42,121
if I posted pictures with my girlfriend
on Facebook,
978
01:06:42,145 --> 01:06:45,745
because I used to do that,
"Friend, I love you so much."
979
01:06:45,905 --> 01:06:47,305
Why should I be lying?
980
01:06:47,425 --> 01:06:50,305
Just give the information
that you have to give.
981
01:06:50,425 --> 01:06:51,465
I mean, on my Facebook,
982
01:06:51,585 --> 01:06:53,041
which is where I have
all my family in Senegal,
983
01:06:53,065 --> 01:06:54,545
I don't have any pictures with Gina.
984
01:06:54,665 --> 01:06:58,025
I post my selfies on Facebook,
985
01:06:58,145 --> 01:07:00,905
me on the beach,
me modeling and that's it.
986
01:07:01,065 --> 01:07:03,305
My Instagram is open,
they can find it,
987
01:07:03,425 --> 01:07:04,665
I'm not hiding anything,
988
01:07:05,145 --> 01:07:06,345
but I post what I feel like it
989
01:07:06,385 --> 01:07:08,425
because this is
my life from here, you know?
990
01:07:23,385 --> 01:07:24,865
- What are you laughing at?
- Nothing.
991
01:07:44,705 --> 01:07:47,465
Did your friends ever call you,
"Hey, lesbian!"?
992
01:07:47,785 --> 01:07:52,945
Yes... My friends from Las Palmas.
My nicknames were black girl and lesbian.
993
01:07:54,425 --> 01:07:56,945
But at that time
I didn't see it as a problem
994
01:07:57,065 --> 01:08:00,865
until I started to deconstruct myself,
realizing that you can call me girl,
995
01:08:00,985 --> 01:08:03,225
you can call me brown eyes,
996
01:08:03,345 --> 01:08:05,945
you can call me short hair,
pink hair, yellow hair
997
01:08:06,065 --> 01:08:07,505
because I used to have colored hair.
998
01:08:07,545 --> 01:08:09,305
But you use black girl and lesbian?
999
01:08:09,785 --> 01:08:12,745
It's like...
Your white privilege is showing off,
1000
01:08:12,865 --> 01:08:14,505
cause I'm not calling you "white boy!"
1001
01:08:15,305 --> 01:08:16,865
or white straight.
1002
01:08:18,225 --> 01:08:19,465
You should have.
1003
01:08:26,585 --> 01:08:31,825
A bag... this is too big.
1004
01:08:35,825 --> 01:08:37,665
Yeah, well, this.
1005
01:08:40,385 --> 01:08:45,545
OK. Toys, makeup, tooth brush,
1006
01:08:57,025 --> 01:08:58,145
What else?
1007
01:09:08,265 --> 01:09:10,945
When I arrive I like to put
all my stuff, like...
1008
01:09:12,425 --> 01:09:15,105
And, like, in the place... I don't know,
1009
01:09:15,425 --> 01:09:16,865
even if I'm not going to use it.
1010
01:09:30,065 --> 01:09:31,865
It's like a necklace.
1011
01:10:06,265 --> 01:10:09,105
Anyone who has
a dissident sexuality
1012
01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:12,345
is in danger
when we criminalize sex workers.
1013
01:10:12,985 --> 01:10:15,665
Because all of those things
are so intersectional.
1014
01:10:15,785 --> 01:10:18,025
It's impossible to separate it, right?
1015
01:10:18,265 --> 01:10:20,225
So, if we criminalize sex workers,
1016
01:10:20,345 --> 01:10:22,305
we're also criminalizing
trans people.
1017
01:10:22,425 --> 01:10:26,265
Queer people, gay people,
people with functional diversity.
1018
01:10:26,705 --> 01:10:30,425
So it is something
that we have to start thinking about,
1019
01:10:30,545 --> 01:10:33,345
we are not only fighting
for the rights of sex workers,
1020
01:10:33,465 --> 01:10:37,585
but so that we can all
have sexual freedom,
1021
01:10:37,905 --> 01:10:41,265
that we can do what we want
in our actions
1022
01:10:41,385 --> 01:10:43,465
as long as it is with consent.
1023
01:10:44,225 --> 01:10:50,545
My dates with queer people
have always been amazing,
1024
01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:54,865
very uplifting because maybe
there's a different kind of care.
1025
01:10:55,505 --> 01:11:01,185
For example,
different kind of understanding
1026
01:11:01,305 --> 01:11:03,785
also of what sex is.
1027
01:11:04,345 --> 01:11:09,185
And sex is not just focused
on the straight point of view
1028
01:11:09,305 --> 01:11:13,505
of penetration,
someone has to cum no matter what.
1029
01:11:16,065 --> 01:11:18,945
Dates are more sensual,
in general.
1030
01:11:19,505 --> 01:11:22,545
We try to connect in a way…
1031
01:11:24,265 --> 01:11:28,705
let's say
very deep way of connecting,
1032
01:11:30,145 --> 01:11:34,585
not only in a sexual way,
but also intellectually.
1033
01:11:34,745 --> 01:11:39,265
Or maybe
there's a different connection.
1034
01:11:39,385 --> 01:11:43,665
Obviously,
since I'm not a straight person,
1035
01:11:43,785 --> 01:11:46,105
when I'm on a date
with straight guys,
1036
01:11:46,225 --> 01:11:48,545
I feel like I'm role-playing.
1037
01:11:51,185 --> 01:11:56,465
Acting in a way
where I'm not really that authentic.
1038
01:11:57,185 --> 01:12:00,705
And when I'm on my dates
with queer people, well...
1039
01:12:01,345 --> 01:12:06,145
I don't have to do this acting thing,
being an actress,
1040
01:12:06,265 --> 01:12:07,665
to do a performance.
1041
01:12:07,985 --> 01:12:12,385
It's something more natural
and comes out more beautiful.
1042
01:12:12,505 --> 01:12:14,945
I don't think it's better or worse,
1043
01:12:15,065 --> 01:12:20,625
just that I feel better
not having to put on a show
1044
01:12:21,665 --> 01:12:25,665
or feel pressure
to do that performance, right?
1045
01:13:03,745 --> 01:13:04,865
Blackbird!
1046
01:13:09,065 --> 01:13:11,385
Let's see if the turtledoves come.
1047
01:13:12,785 --> 01:13:17,025
This one works the other way around,
I give them a little...
1048
01:13:20,465 --> 01:13:21,625
Well, today...
1049
01:13:25,305 --> 01:13:27,825
Also in the little houses too.
1050
01:13:28,065 --> 01:13:30,465
Oh, there are only husks.
1051
01:13:31,025 --> 01:13:32,905
They must be very hungry.
1052
01:13:38,465 --> 01:13:41,105
I'll catch you.
1053
01:14:00,465 --> 01:14:03,345
Well, let's see
if you don't get scared and come.
1054
01:14:06,705 --> 01:14:09,985
I think it is very important
to consider that you will grow old,
1055
01:14:10,625 --> 01:14:14,585
and that you have to get used to it,
you have to think about it
1056
01:14:14,945 --> 01:14:17,465
because, of course,
at the moment,
1057
01:14:17,585 --> 01:14:19,945
there are things
that we can no longer do,
1058
01:14:20,225 --> 01:14:23,865
and this makes you think
a little bit,
1059
01:14:23,985 --> 01:14:25,305
"Wow, this now, really?"
1060
01:14:25,585 --> 01:14:27,785
and instead
you still feel young in spirit.
1061
01:14:27,905 --> 01:14:30,545
But there are things you don't...
You can't.
1062
01:14:30,865 --> 01:14:34,225
When I didn't have a partner,
sometimes when you think about it
1063
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:37,025
when you're alone,
you think about it.
1064
01:14:37,625 --> 01:14:40,585
Sure, you'll end up
in a nursing home.
1065
01:14:41,225 --> 01:14:46,305
But it's always been clear to me,
and that's what I've always thought,
1066
01:14:46,745 --> 01:14:50,345
even if it's
an all-gender nursing home,
1067
01:14:50,465 --> 01:14:53,225
that it would be
the last thing I would choose,
1068
01:14:55,225 --> 01:14:56,985
I will never go back to the closet.
1069
01:14:57,305 --> 01:15:01,465
No. Never.
I must be accepted or not accepted,
1070
01:15:01,705 --> 01:15:03,945
or I just don't go.
1071
01:15:04,305 --> 01:15:07,025
Because I had thought about it,
that I wouldn't...
1072
01:15:07,305 --> 01:15:09,825
Having to hide from being a lesbian
1073
01:15:09,945 --> 01:15:13,025
and having to change my life
or hide?
1074
01:15:13,145 --> 01:15:16,905
Please no,
unless another Franco comes along.
1075
01:15:58,465 --> 01:16:00,425
What are the advantages
of being a dyke.
1076
01:16:00,545 --> 01:16:04,225
One, of course, that you can have
sexual relations
1077
01:16:04,345 --> 01:16:07,985
without the worry
of having to create a life.
1078
01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:09,145
That this is a relief
1079
01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:11,065
from what I've been told
by my friends.
1080
01:16:11,185 --> 01:16:14,665
Having to create a life how?
Ah, to get pregnant, okay.
1081
01:16:14,785 --> 01:16:16,865
Bringing life to this planet.
1082
01:16:17,385 --> 01:16:21,025
The second one,
I invite the male gender people
1083
01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:23,825
to get their act together
with something, right?
1084
01:16:23,865 --> 01:16:26,265
That this body you also know it.
1085
01:16:26,385 --> 01:16:32,345
So… You understand each other,
you last longer too.
1086
01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:34,786
This also happens,
the other day we were talking about it,
1087
01:16:34,985 --> 01:16:38,385
that we don't get so tired,
that we can repeat.
1088
01:16:38,625 --> 01:16:39,865
This is a good advantage.
1089
01:16:40,185 --> 01:16:41,385
I also think an advantage
1090
01:16:41,505 --> 01:16:45,545
would be the fact that there are not
so many things written.
1091
01:16:45,665 --> 01:16:49,185
In the sense of what should be
a relationship between two people
1092
01:16:49,305 --> 01:16:51,065
socialized as women or…
1093
01:16:51,305 --> 01:16:53,905
non-binary people or people...
1094
01:16:54,665 --> 01:16:56,025
There's not as much written
1095
01:16:56,145 --> 01:16:58,825
as when it's a cis guy
and a cis girl.
1096
01:16:58,945 --> 01:17:00,545
Then is like, this so, that so,
1097
01:17:00,665 --> 01:17:04,585
and you do the dishes
and you keep the house.
1098
01:17:04,705 --> 01:17:06,305
In my experience,
1099
01:17:06,425 --> 01:17:07,785
I think this is a very nice thing.
1100
01:17:07,865 --> 01:17:12,625
And somehow you can rewrite
1101
01:17:12,745 --> 01:17:15,545
how you want to relate,
how you want to be in bed,
1102
01:17:15,665 --> 01:17:19,545
Try to change
some ways of doing.
1103
01:17:21,225 --> 01:17:22,985
I like this a lot actually.
1104
01:18:11,185 --> 01:18:15,025
But I also ask myself,
was it necessary?
1105
01:18:15,665 --> 01:18:18,785
I mean,
was it necessary to take hormones?
1106
01:18:19,425 --> 01:18:21,225
Because taking them
1107
01:18:21,345 --> 01:18:23,825
has made me change my singing voice.
1108
01:18:23,945 --> 01:18:25,105
So I've lost something,
1109
01:18:25,225 --> 01:18:27,345
or as my singing teacher says,
maybe not,
1110
01:18:27,465 --> 01:18:31,385
now I'm taking lessons
and maybe I have gained another one.
1111
01:18:31,745 --> 01:18:35,385
So, really,
I don't want to see it like,
1112
01:18:36,465 --> 01:18:37,945
what would happen
if I hadn't done it?
1113
01:18:38,025 --> 01:18:39,065
But the other way around.
1114
01:18:39,225 --> 01:18:44,385
It's just another process that I lived
and I liked it and I'd live it again.
1115
01:18:44,785 --> 01:18:46,345
And if I went back, I'd do it again.
1116
01:18:47,185 --> 01:18:49,465
And maybe later on
I'll go back to taking hormones.
1117
01:18:49,585 --> 01:18:54,305
But what I do think
is that I consider a lot
1118
01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:58,105
if I did it for myself
or because of the vision of others.
1119
01:18:59,185 --> 01:19:02,185
Because of this misogyny,
because of this insecurity
1120
01:19:02,665 --> 01:19:04,505
and, of course,
this is very problematic.
1121
01:19:05,985 --> 01:19:08,865
I have not had any surgery,
1122
01:19:09,185 --> 01:19:11,425
I haven't made any physical changes,
1123
01:19:12,065 --> 01:19:15,505
But I don't question
if you want to have surgery.
1124
01:19:15,625 --> 01:19:16,785
I mean,
1125
01:19:17,065 --> 01:19:22,265
I'm in favor of physical changes
in every sense of the word.
1126
01:19:22,905 --> 01:19:26,705
Both cyborgs and trans or whatever.
1127
01:20:17,385 --> 01:20:19,705
In the end
it's all fluid a spectrum.
1128
01:20:19,825 --> 01:20:22,065
That's why I already at the beginning
1129
01:20:22,185 --> 01:20:24,745
of my deconstruction
of gender and sexuality,
1130
01:20:24,865 --> 01:20:26,705
I kind of said,
"I don't like labels",
1131
01:20:26,825 --> 01:20:27,945
so now I'm going back there,
1132
01:20:28,105 --> 01:20:30,865
because I don't always feel the same.
1133
01:20:31,105 --> 01:20:33,665
Why do I always use
the feminine pronouns?
1134
01:20:33,785 --> 01:20:37,105
Maybe it's a habit,
but I am still a non-binary person.
1135
01:20:37,225 --> 01:20:38,945
So I kind of prefer
not to have labels,
1136
01:20:39,105 --> 01:20:41,785
because in the end
it's another object of society
1137
01:20:41,905 --> 01:20:43,425
to be able to continue to classify us.
1138
01:20:43,505 --> 01:20:45,825
You're a man, you're a woman,
you're white, you're black,
1139
01:20:45,945 --> 01:20:49,465
you're Chinese, you're a lesbian,
you're gay, you're transgender.
1140
01:20:49,665 --> 01:20:52,425
But we're all people in the end
and we're governed by the same thing.
1141
01:20:52,545 --> 01:20:54,865
In the end,
the energy that moves us all
1142
01:20:54,985 --> 01:20:56,905
is what you said, that is love.
1143
01:20:57,025 --> 01:21:01,265
So why do we have to look
for labels within this love?
1144
01:21:01,385 --> 01:21:04,665
I prefer this fluidity
with which I live now
1145
01:21:04,785 --> 01:21:07,025
- because I feel...
- More comfortable.
1146
01:21:07,185 --> 01:21:09,145
It's just
that all this has to be changed
1147
01:21:09,265 --> 01:21:10,625
from within society.
1148
01:21:13,465 --> 01:21:16,345
Honestly, the only people
who can change this
1149
01:21:16,465 --> 01:21:17,785
are racialized people.
1150
01:21:17,905 --> 01:21:19,625
Because a white person,
a white man?
1151
01:21:19,745 --> 01:21:22,585
How many white gay men
have a high position?
1152
01:21:22,905 --> 01:21:25,025
How many trans women are there
in high positions?
1153
01:21:26,345 --> 01:21:30,905
How many white gay men
are there in important top companies?
1154
01:21:31,025 --> 01:21:34,465
How many black LGBT people
do you know who have that?
1155
01:21:34,665 --> 01:21:39,625
In the end it's all about
the person's oppressions.
1156
01:21:39,905 --> 01:21:42,905
After a lifetime,
I'm about to turn 40
1157
01:21:44,665 --> 01:21:46,625
and I've found this place of peace,
1158
01:21:47,105 --> 01:21:51,105
but I also like to think about myself
and try not to be rigid
1159
01:21:51,225 --> 01:21:54,225
and say, I don't know
who I will be in the future.
1160
01:21:54,385 --> 01:21:59,585
I don't know what it holds,
just like when I was younger
1161
01:21:59,705 --> 01:22:02,145
there wasn't all the vocabulary
1162
01:22:02,265 --> 01:22:04,185
to define yourself as non-binary.
1163
01:22:04,785 --> 01:22:07,145
And this tool worked
very well for me.
1164
01:22:07,825 --> 01:22:11,705
I don't know if in the future,
the new generations
1165
01:22:11,825 --> 01:22:17,985
will offer us things that you'll say:
"Wow, this is so clever!"
1166
01:22:18,105 --> 01:22:19,905
And then this also works for me.
1167
01:22:20,025 --> 01:22:24,745
The best thing in the world,
is to be able to be something else.
1168
01:22:24,905 --> 01:22:28,705
And I think
the whole issue of the rigidity
1169
01:22:28,825 --> 01:22:31,465
of identities and lesbian identity.
1170
01:22:32,105 --> 01:22:34,145
What should be the lesbian identity?
1171
01:22:34,265 --> 01:22:37,105
It must be closed and hermetic.
1172
01:22:37,505 --> 01:22:43,705
It surely is
as a way of protecting itself
1173
01:22:43,905 --> 01:22:46,225
from an environment
that is very aggressive.
1174
01:22:46,345 --> 01:22:47,865
Or even harmful.
1175
01:22:49,185 --> 01:22:56,185
But I also like to think
that the limits are not so clear.
1176
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:59,665
They are not so marked
and can be much more diffuse,
1177
01:22:59,785 --> 01:23:03,745
especially because this makes us
freer people in the end.
1178
01:28:48,265 --> 01:28:52,121
Those born after us
will cast a sigh towards me,
1179
01:28:52,145 --> 01:28:56,105
who loved with profound determination,
towards you, my desire.
1180
01:30:23,812 --> 01:30:27,772
TO EVERYONE WE TALKED TO
OR CONTACTED AT SOME POINT,
1181
01:30:27,804 --> 01:30:30,324
WHO SHARED YOUR EXPERIENCE
WITH US: THANK YOU.
95786
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