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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,770 [theme song plays] 2 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:06,873 [audience cheers and applauds] 3 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,177 Hello, everyone. I'm Andy Woodhull 4 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,747 and welcome to "Totally Funny Animals." 5 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,182 Think of us as your own personal Noah's Ark, 6 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,486 except we have way more than just two of every animal 7 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,088 and we don't have anyone on the crew named Noah. 8 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,189 [audience laughs] 9 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,091 So I guess it's Andy's ark. 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,493 [audience laughs] 11 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,795 You know, it's funny how dog is man's best friend 12 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,197 but diamonds are a girl's best friend. 13 00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,400 It doesn't seem fair-- to girls. 14 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:34,467 [audience laughs] 15 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,835 I've never heard of a diamond 16 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,670 with two million Instagram followers. 17 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,839 [trap music plays] 18 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,075 Come on, you can get it! 19 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,777 Keep going! 20 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,780 So close! 21 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:49,749 It's going to be so worth it when you finally get it. 22 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,051 [audience laughs] 23 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:54,020 ♪♪♪ 24 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:58,625 That was a lot of work for a very little reward. 25 00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,893 [audience laughs] 26 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,694 "Megan, sit back honey." 27 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,230 [audience laughs] 28 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,366 WOMAN: So what are you doing? 29 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,268 Putting snails on my face. 30 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,569 WOMAN: Why? 31 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:10,937 I don't know, they're cute. 32 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:12,172 WOMAN: They are cute. 33 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,607 ANDY: "Cute" is such a subjective term. 34 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:16,176 [girl screams] Oh, my God! 35 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,243 ANDY: The best thing about 36 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,878 sledding with Allie pulling is, 37 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,413 you don't really need the sled. 38 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:22,682 [audience laughs] 39 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,919 Charlie is the most patient dog... 40 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,520 MAN: Charlie, stay. 41 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,389 - CHILD: Stay. - MAN: Stay. 42 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,623 ANDY: ...in the world. 43 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:31,758 MAN: Stay. 44 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,426 CHILD: Stay. 45 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,762 [children and man laughing] 46 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,897 ANDY: What he won't do for his family? 47 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,466 MAN: I can't hold my phone steady 48 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,834 I'm laughin' so hard. 49 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,504 ANDY: Even the most patient dog in the world has limits. 50 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,106 MAN: Aw! [indistinct] 51 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,641 ALL: Aw! 52 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,444 [rock music plays] 53 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,346 ANDY: And we're off! 54 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:54,814 ♪♪♪ 55 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,817 [baby laughs] 56 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,285 Come on, baby Emily, 57 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,654 it's time for a little doggy rodeo! 58 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,790 [baby laughs] 59 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,659 Yeehaw, baby Emily, yeehaw! 60 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:08,995 WOMAN: Kenna. 61 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,663 Kenna, tell me what happened. 62 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:13,199 I got into the cupboards 63 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,702 and I looked at something pretty. 64 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,771 - WOMAN: Was it the paint? - Yeah. 65 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,107 ANDY: Oh, it was the paint, all right. 66 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,877 WOMAN: Let's look at Jasper over there. 67 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,145 Here kitty, kitty, kitty. 68 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:27,547 Well, he's not white anymore, isn't he? 69 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,048 Jasper. 70 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,618 Yeah, he's orange and pink. 71 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,454 ANDY: You know, orange and pink is the new calico. 72 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:38,491 [audience applauds] 73 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,594 Animals are often the most treasured members of the family 74 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,263 and I use the word "treasured" 75 00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,498 because they can cost a small fortune. 76 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,300 So, tonight, we're counting down 77 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:51,004 the top 10 times you wondered why the pet got so expensive. 78 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:53,206 Let's start it off with number 10. 79 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,908 [mysterious music plays] 80 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,243 Hmm, a money trail. 81 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,679 Time to track down the culprit. 82 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,748 [man laughs] 83 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:04,150 Eddie, how could you? 84 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,652 [audience laughs] 85 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,954 [audience applauds] 86 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:11,090 When people enviously say, "It's a dog's life," 87 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,725 I think they're referring to the fact 88 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,595 that some dogs sleep about 17 hours a day, 89 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,463 which is what I aspire to. 90 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,532 [upbeat music plays] 91 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,501 Kailyn was enjoying her vacation 92 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,803 away from the daily grind of kindergarten. 93 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,073 Wind in her hair and plenty of snacks. 94 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,342 [audience laughs] 95 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,311 Well, still has the wind in her hair. 96 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,179 [audience laughs] 97 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,714 WOMAN: The bubble's coming? 98 00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:36,149 Are the bubbles coming? 99 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,418 ANDY: Oh, the bubbles are definitely coming 100 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,521 and the anticipation is palpable. 101 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:45,358 [dogs barking] 102 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,432 It really is the highlight of their day. 103 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,766 [audience laughs] 104 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,268 - WOMAN: Look in that bucket. - Wow! 105 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,804 ANDY: In her defense, the only crabs she had ever seen 106 00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,306 were animated in cartoons about mermaids. 107 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,709 - WOMAN: Don't touch it! - [girl screams] 108 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,248 ANDY: Other dogs may be content with the doggie paddle 109 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,816 but he likes to shoot the curl, 110 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,352 hang ten and break with the waves. 111 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,389 It's why locals call him Whitewater Jones. 112 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:22,161 "And that concludes my morning laps." 113 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,597 "Jeeves, fetch me my towel 114 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,165 and a tuna martini." 115 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,270 MAN: Bluto... 116 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,238 What are you doing? 117 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,640 ANDY: "You know what I'm doing. 118 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,642 "Today is spa day. 119 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:36,809 "Where's my cucumber?" 120 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,946 When you're a tiny creature on vacation 121 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,548 and often dismissed for being cute, 122 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,417 you need to stand up for yourself. 123 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,319 WOMAN: Ow, he's pinching me! 124 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,487 I feel it there. 125 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,821 ANDY: Oh, he may be little 126 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,057 but he will not let you ruin his vacation. 127 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,659 WOMAN: Ow, oh, my God! 128 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:55,228 [audience applauds] 129 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:58,998 Having a dog costs so much, I should be able to claim mine 130 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,900 as a dependent when I do my taxes. 131 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,068 [audience laughs] 132 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,070 And so we count down the top 10 times 133 00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,706 you wondered why the pet got so expensive. 134 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:07,874 Here's number nine. 135 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,642 ♪♪♪ 136 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,411 When Midnight gets his weekly allowance, 137 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:14,113 don't be thinking that you can ask him for a loan 138 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,349 because it will not go well. 139 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,984 WOMAN: Can I get the money? 140 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,153 - [woman screams] - [man laughs] 141 00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,555 [audience applauds] 142 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,223 I love that my dog snores. 143 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,426 When I hear it, I know she's close by, 144 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,262 plus I've gotten so many cute pictures of her 145 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:30,863 in her sleep apnea mask. 146 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,198 [audience laughs] 147 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:34,701 [gentle piano music plays] 148 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:37,203 [dog snores] 149 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,408 [audience laughs] 150 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,711 [dog snores] 151 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,348 - [audience laughs] - [dog snores] 152 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,485 [dog snores] 153 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,091 [dog snores] 154 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,726 [audience laughs] 155 00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,095 [dog snores] 156 00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,963 [audience laughs] 157 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,769 [audience applauds] 158 00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:13,239 ANDY: And the countdown continues with number eight. 159 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,142 WOMAN: Give that to me, no! 160 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,610 No, give it to me. 161 00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,278 Give it to me. 162 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,848 ANDY: Why does Gigi always grab the C note? 163 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:23,983 WOMAN: Bring it back! 164 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,385 ANDY: Stakes are just too low 165 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,986 if it was a twenty or a ten. 166 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:30,656 When Gigi grabs a hundred, she knows the chase is on. 167 00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,258 WOMAN: Gigi, bring it back! 168 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,227 Give it to me. 169 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,264 [audience applauds] 170 00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:40,733 We have only just begun to bring you the goods, 171 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,703 so stick around for more "Totally Funny Animals." 172 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,439 [audience cheers and applauds] 173 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,943 [electronic music plays] 174 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,545 ♪ One ♪ 175 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,347 ♪ Two ♪ 176 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,548 ♪ Three ♪ 177 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:56,716 ♪ Now work ♪ 178 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,051 [audience laughs] 179 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:00,720 ♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪ 180 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:02,722 ♪ Now work ♪ 181 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,624 [audience laughs] 182 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:07,994 [dog snarling] 183 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,162 WOMAN: I want your bone. 184 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,396 [dog growls] 185 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,931 ♪ Now work ♪ 186 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,599 ♪ To the left ♪ 187 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,401 ♪ To the right ♪ 188 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:16,903 ♪ Go back ♪ 189 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,571 [woman laughs] 190 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,140 [audience applauds] 191 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,077 We are counting down the top 10 times 192 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,780 you wondered why the pet got so expensive 193 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,082 and ka-ching, ka-ching! 194 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,918 We're up to lucky number seven. 195 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,886 ♪♪♪ 196 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,254 Polly want a cracker? 197 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,958 More like Polly want a pizza delivered in the next half hour. 198 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,526 [audience laughs] 199 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,862 And a tip for the driver. 200 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,297 [audience laughs] 201 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:48,334 [audience applauds] 202 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,570 I love big, wacky comedies 203 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,873 with crazy characters in totally absurd situations, 204 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,908 and the more animals in it, the better. 205 00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,543 The only disappointment I ever had 206 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,978 was the movie Animal Farm. 207 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,247 Whoo! That movie wasn't funny at all. 208 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,315 [audience laughs] 209 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,683 Actually kind of depressing. 210 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,054 That's why I'm so excited about this new movie coming out. 211 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,758 Butch is a city dog. 212 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,894 Cowabunga! 213 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:17,964 But when his owner decides to move to a horse farm... 214 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,832 WOMAN: You ready? Give me the paw. 215 00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:23,135 ANDY: ...this old dog will have to learn some new tricks. 216 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,570 [country music plays] 217 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,772 "That's enough runnin' for today." 218 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:28,941 With the help of some new friends, 219 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,410 he'll have to learn to strut his stuff... 220 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:35,081 "Right foot, left foot, right foot." 221 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,616 [audience laughs] 222 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,451 ...and pull his weight. 223 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:42,255 "This is humiliating." 224 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,758 Because sometimes, you hit your lowest lows... 225 00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:49,762 "I'm just a no-good skateboarding punk city dog, 226 00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,564 "and that's all I'll ever be." 227 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,800 ...before you can reach your highest highs. 228 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,270 Coming this summer. 229 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,139 City Lickers! 230 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:01,207 Rated PG. 231 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,544 [audience applauds] 232 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:05,745 I love the snow. 233 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,079 It's pretty, it's fluffy 234 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,248 and it can really wake you up when you're tired 235 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,050 if you put a handful of it down your pants. 236 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,452 Whoo, boy, that is brisk! 237 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,889 Let's go to a magical winter wonderland. 238 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,960 WOMAN: Paige, what are you doing? 239 00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,428 Are you gonna go out, or not? 240 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,297 ANDY: "I am ready for adventure!" 241 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:29,268 [man and woman laughing] 242 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,070 MAN: She disappeared! 243 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,339 Look, look, where's she going? 244 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,441 ANDY: "Where no kitty has gone before." 245 00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,576 MAN: She's over there! 246 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,478 [woman laughs] 247 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:40,813 Sage! 248 00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,683 [man and woman laughing] 249 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,917 What are you doing, Sage? 250 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,286 ANDY: "Yeah, on second thought, 251 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,821 "adventure is kind of chilly." 252 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,323 [audience laughs] 253 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,292 ...two, three! 254 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,394 [man laughs] 255 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,563 ANDY: Is it possible to be bad at snow? 256 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,533 Because I think Miko is bad at snow. 257 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,969 [audience laughs] 258 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,073 One, two, three! 259 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:08,975 [audience laughs] 260 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,612 ANDY: Nothin' like a warm dip in the jacuzzi on a snow day. 261 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,915 [audience laughs] 262 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,084 No need to shovel the walkway... 263 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,154 [woman laughs] 264 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,689 ...the dogs will get it. 265 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,791 [woman laughs] 266 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,028 [woman laughs] 267 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,931 Snow angels are for everyone! 268 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,602 Snowy weather means cold paws, 269 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,039 and dogs with cold paws sometimes need some comfort. 270 00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:43,509 [audience laughs] 271 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:44,810 "There, there, buddy, 272 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:46,278 "spring's just around the corner." 273 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,314 [audience laughs] 274 00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,616 [audience applauds] 275 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,853 We've been counting down the top 10 times 276 00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:56,355 you wondered why the pet got so expensive. 277 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,858 Let's cash in, with number six. 278 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:02,495 Whiskers loved it when the tooth fairy was lazy 279 00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:04,664 and just put the cash on the bedside table 280 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,399 instead of under the pillow. 281 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,467 Made it so much easier to lift. 282 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,403 "Thank you, tooth fairy!" 283 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:14,273 [audience laughs and applauds] 284 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:15,875 Throw on a velour shirt, 285 00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:18,678 some platform shoes, a wide, plaid tie 286 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:21,514 and maybe even a teal-polyester leisure suit 287 00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,382 because we are totally rewinding time 288 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,152 to watch some Retro Pets. 289 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,354 [retro music plays] 290 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,860 If Buck hadn't held her back, that vacuum would've been sorry. 291 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,666 "It's hard out here for a dog." 292 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:46,305 WOMAN: What're you doin', boy? 293 00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:47,940 ANDY: "Uh, little help?" 294 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,542 WOMAN: What're you doin'? 295 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:51,877 [woman laughs] 296 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:54,980 ANDY: "Hello?" 297 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:56,515 [audience laughs] 298 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,218 "Some messes you just gotta clean up yourself." 299 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,321 "Oh, no! 300 00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:05,624 "That inflatable killer whale seems to be in trouble! 301 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,827 "I got this! 302 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,897 "A canine lifeguards job is never done." 303 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:13,299 [audience laughs] 304 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:16,902 "And thanks for not eating me." 305 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,738 [audience laughs] 306 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,640 They did this every morning. 307 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,442 Hammy's lost a few ounces, 308 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,745 Beakley, not so much. 309 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,581 Exercise is easier when you have a buddy. 310 00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:30,382 [audience laughs] 311 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,184 Terry knew the mouse was in there... 312 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,552 [audience laughs] 313 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,856 ...and he was not coming out. 314 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:41,594 But Terry was a problem solver. 315 00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:43,329 [audience laughs] 316 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,067 "There ya go." 317 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,369 [audience laughs, applauds] 318 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,873 Our countdown rolls on. 319 00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,374 Here's number five. 320 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:59,111 WOMAN: What'd you do, huh? 321 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,247 What'd you do? 322 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,751 Did you do this? 323 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,053 ANDY: What? He needed half a dollar for bubble gum. 324 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:09,855 WOMAN: Did you eat this? 325 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:12,358 Did you eat this? 326 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,629 [audience applauds] 327 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,664 Don't even think about going anywhere 328 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:20,566 because there's more "Totally Funny Animals" 329 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,667 coming right up. 330 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:24,069 [audience cheers and applauds] 331 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:30,109 [jazzy music playing] 332 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,629 [audience applauds] 333 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,733 All show long, we have been counting down 334 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:58,137 the top 10 times you wondered why the pet got so expensive, 335 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,574 and we have gleefully reached number four. 336 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,577 WOMAN: Now, Linda, 337 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,479 do you want the coffee, or the money? 338 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,914 [audience laughs] 339 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:10,549 ANDY: Linda's not a coffee drinker. 340 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,787 [audience applauds] 341 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,456 In this country, all accused animals are innocent 342 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:18,924 until proven guilty, 343 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,393 even though they're almost always guilty. 344 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,062 [audience laughs] 345 00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:26,699 And that process always unfolds judiciously in Critter Court. 346 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,436 WOMAN: Look at these dogs. 347 00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:31,804 ANDY: These are the culprits. 348 00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:35,407 WOMAN: Look at my house. 349 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,243 [audience laughs] 350 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,413 ANDY: And this is the crime scene. 351 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,283 [audience laughs] 352 00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,485 Children, avert your eyes. 353 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,120 [audience laughs] 354 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,389 WOMAN: It gets better. 355 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,124 ANDY: I don't think she means that. 356 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:53,759 [audience laughs] 357 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,561 WOMAN: Oh, my God. 358 00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,463 [audience laughs] 359 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,366 ANDY: Rare footage of the neighborhood 360 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,067 late-night marshmallow napper! 361 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,907 This dog is guilty of being a rebel. 362 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,008 MAN: Sit. 363 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,309 I gotta talk to you, 364 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:11,977 you gotta stop biting people, okay? 365 00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,246 ANDY: Ow! 366 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,349 It's as easy as stealing flowers from a child. 367 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,818 Oh, no! 368 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:26,225 WOMAN: So I heard a noise coming out of the one bedroom... 369 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,161 and what did I find? 370 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,598 Oh, what happened here? 371 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:33,966 [audience laughs] 372 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,334 What happened? 373 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,703 ANDY: "Uh, it's kind of a long story." 374 00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:44,243 Caught red-handed... 375 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,678 [audience laughs] 376 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:47,046 and blue-eyed? 377 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,884 [audience applauds] 378 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,019 We are headed back to the countdown 379 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,287 with number three! 380 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,756 WOMAN: Hey, Reba. 381 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,758 We're not gonna go to the store for a new bone. 382 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,860 You have all kinds of bones here, okay? 383 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,162 Mama doesn't have the money 384 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,797 to go to the store for a new bone. 385 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,765 ANDY: Like a Charles Dickens tale, 386 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,234 the story of Reba was a harrowing journey 387 00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,136 of struggle and suffering... 388 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,806 WOMAN: Okay? Come on, 389 00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,307 let's find one you have here, honey. 390 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,408 Come on. 391 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,110 ANDY: ...and some pickpocketing. 392 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,178 WOMAN: Hey! 393 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:20,913 Excuse me. 394 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,349 What are you doing? 395 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,284 Reba! 396 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,153 ANDY: It's not much, but it's a start. 397 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:31,256 WOMAN: Did you just take money out of my purse? 398 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:34,927 [audience applauds] 399 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,029 Sometimes you really gotta slow down 400 00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,564 and take your time to enjoy 401 00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,799 every last bit of something you love. 402 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,868 A good book, an ice cream sundae, 403 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,838 an entire pizza alone in your house on a Friday night. 404 00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,439 [audience laughs] 405 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,174 The same goes for animal videos. 406 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:52,311 It's always a good time to Slow Your Roll. 407 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,581 Make a wish! 408 00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,551 Now make a run for it! 409 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:07,326 The best way to make dental hygiene fun. 410 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,269 Ah, uhh, itchy nose! 411 00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:21,206 Ahh, that's better. 412 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,176 Time to leap over Boomer... 413 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,114 and he didn't even move a little. 414 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,783 [audience laughs] 415 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,285 [audience applauds] 416 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,323 We've been spending cash like it's goin' out of style, 417 00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,626 as we count down the top 10 times 418 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,828 you wondered why the pet got so expensive. 419 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,663 Here it is, number two. 420 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,000 She didn't even care that it was out in the open. 421 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:51,904 Kitties do brazen things to get that next hit of catnip. 422 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:53,105 [audience laughs] 423 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,774 "Oh. Hey, Lenny." 424 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,977 [audience applauds] 425 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,747 Don't even think of changing that channel 426 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,382 because we're so close to revealing 427 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,918 the number one entry on our countdown 428 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:08,454 when "Totally Funny Animals" continues. 429 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:11,023 [audience cheers and applauds] 430 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,361 [Western music plays] 431 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,349 What are you doing? 432 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,018 WOMAN: Justice at his ball. 433 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:44,022 Oh, Kerry! Oh, no! 434 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,858 Dwayne, he popped it! 435 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,193 [audience laughs and applauds] 436 00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,164 Okay, enough horsing around. 437 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,133 All night, we've been counting down 438 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:57,736 the top 10 times you wondered why the pet got so expensive, 439 00:18:57,769 --> 00:19:00,272 but before we pony up with number one, 440 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,207 let's take a look back at the first nine. 441 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,644 Number 10-- The money shredder. 442 00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,615 Number nine-- The cash grab. 443 00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:12,885 Number eight-- 100 reasons to run. 444 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,286 WOMAN: Bring it back! 445 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:17,322 ANDY: Number seven-- Sticky Talons McGee. 446 00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:21,260 Number six-- The anti-tooth fairy. 447 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,063 Number five-- Digesting dinero. 448 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,165 WOMAN: What'd you do? 449 00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,367 ANDY: Number four-- Gimme that. 450 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,335 WOMAN: Hey! 451 00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:31,937 ANDY: Number three-- Puppy purse perpetrator... 452 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,172 WOMAN: Excuse me! 453 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,974 ANDY: ...and number two-- The buck boost. 454 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,576 [audience applauds] 455 00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:40,913 And now, on our countdown of the top 10 times 456 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,248 you wondered why the pet got so expensive, 457 00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:46,018 we proudly present number one. 458 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,755 MAN: Mikey's tryin' to get twenty dollars. 459 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:52,357 ANDY: It blew right off the table when he got his check 460 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:53,792 and if he didn't get it back, 461 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:56,161 they were gonna make him wash dishes for his meal. 462 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,629 [audience laughs] 463 00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:59,331 MAN: Get your twenty dollars, Mike! 464 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,633 ANDY: And then, a furtive fish fiend 465 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,736 used his five-fin discount and took Mike's money. 466 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,306 MAN: No! The fish took it! 467 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,274 WOMAN: Oh, my God! 468 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,277 [audience cheers and applauds] 469 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,947 The ark is back on land 470 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,682 and we're ready to let the animals off, 471 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:17,883 two-by-two. 472 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,618 Let's do this again real soon, 473 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,153 on "Totally Funny Animals." 474 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,387 Good night, everybody! 475 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:25,657 [audience cheers and applauds] 476 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:33,498 ♪♪♪ 30570

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