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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:08,464
Okay, give it to me.
3
00:00:08,532 --> 00:00:10,300
What...
4
00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:11,801
Honey, what the
hell are you doing?
5
00:00:11,869 --> 00:00:13,069
It's 4:00
in the morning.
6
00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:15,538
God! You know, I was just
trying to get a head start
7
00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,840
Getting things ready
for the baby shower.
8
00:00:17,908 --> 00:00:19,776
There is so much to do.
9
00:00:19,843 --> 00:00:21,644
Because I have
40 people coming.
10
00:00:21,712 --> 00:00:23,045
How long have you
been up, Joy?
11
00:00:23,113 --> 00:00:24,747
I don't know.
Couple hours.
12
00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:27,250
But, you know, Eddie, we're gonna have
to get used to this schedule anyway,
13
00:00:27,317 --> 00:00:29,552
'cause this is what it's gonna
be like when the baby arrives.
14
00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:31,854
Joy, we're not the
parents this time.
15
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:34,056
Doug and Ally
stay up all night.
16
00:00:34,124 --> 00:00:35,291
They raise the baby.
17
00:00:35,359 --> 00:00:38,127
You and I, see, we get
to sleep through the night
18
00:00:38,195 --> 00:00:41,297
So we can wake up rested
and then spoil the baby.
19
00:00:41,365 --> 00:00:43,733
Trust Doug and Ally
with my grandchild?
20
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,301
I don't think so.
21
00:00:45,369 --> 00:00:48,070
All right, look, I know
Doug is a bit of a wacko,
22
00:00:48,138 --> 00:00:51,674
But our little girl is a stable
and...and a good kid and...
23
00:00:51,742 --> 00:00:55,344
Yeah, as long as she's not responsible
for another living creature.
24
00:00:55,412 --> 00:00:58,681
Do you remember how many pets
are buried in our backyard?
25
00:00:58,749 --> 00:01:01,350
When it rains, the lawn
shakes itself off.
26
00:01:02,386 --> 00:01:04,754
Ok, look. You wanna
stay up, stay up.
27
00:01:04,821 --> 00:01:05,821
I don't care.
28
00:01:05,889 --> 00:01:08,791
Okay. Listen, I...
I gotta make a list
29
00:01:08,859 --> 00:01:11,460
Of all the lists
I have to make.
30
00:01:11,528 --> 00:01:14,563
Honey, look,
I hesitate to say this,
31
00:01:14,631 --> 00:01:16,699
But don't you think
you're getting
32
00:01:16,767 --> 00:01:19,568
A little carried away
with all this stuff?
33
00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:23,172
You do have the tendency
to do that a lot.
34
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,274
No. Come on. I'm fine.
35
00:01:26,343 --> 00:01:29,378
Oh! 200 eggs to devil.
36
00:01:38,221 --> 00:01:39,522
Babe, are you awake?
37
00:01:39,589 --> 00:01:41,157
What?
38
00:01:41,224 --> 00:01:43,059
Are you awake?
39
00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:45,828
I am now.
40
00:01:45,896 --> 00:01:48,731
What's wrong?
Why are you awake?
41
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:51,000
Well, the vacuuming
woke me up,
42
00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:53,336
But then I started
worrying about something.
43
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:55,504
Oh! I know, Doug.
44
00:01:55,572 --> 00:01:58,040
Will there ever be
another "star wars" movie?
45
00:01:58,108 --> 00:02:00,176
Don't worry.
There won't be.
46
00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:02,244
No. No, besides that.
47
00:02:02,312 --> 00:02:04,413
I'm worried that
there's gonna be
48
00:02:04,481 --> 00:02:06,716
A big show about you
havin' a baby,
49
00:02:06,783 --> 00:02:09,318
And then the baby'll never
appear on camera again,
50
00:02:09,386 --> 00:02:11,253
Because that's what
happens in sitcoms.
51
00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,956
Baby's born, and then
you don't see it
52
00:02:14,024 --> 00:02:16,292
Until it's 4 years old
and sarcastic.
53
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,062
Oh, honey, I think it's time
you go see Dr. Bialik again.
54
00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:22,999
That's fine, because I
like my scenes with her.
55
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:27,436
In fact, I don't know why
she doesn't have her own show.
56
00:02:27,504 --> 00:02:28,738
Oh, you should tell her that.
57
00:02:28,805 --> 00:02:30,740
I'm sure she'd be
pleased to hear it.
58
00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:32,775
I mean, "Blossom"
was a great show.
59
00:02:32,843 --> 00:02:35,244
It has Joey Lawrence, who
was really good-lookin',
60
00:02:35,312 --> 00:02:36,345
And he said, "whoa,"
61
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:38,914
And, it had Blossom's
best friend, Six,
62
00:02:38,982 --> 00:02:42,518
Played by Jenna von Oy, who
was really cute and sassy,
63
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:45,121
And her brother Anthony,
who conquered drug addiction
64
00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:46,422
And became a paramedic.
65
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:49,125
Did you know that his name
is, Michael Stoyanov
66
00:02:49,192 --> 00:02:50,593
And he's still an actor?
67
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:53,929
In fact, he played one of the
clowns in "the dark knight."
68
00:02:53,997 --> 00:02:56,365
Well, why do you know
so much about "blossom"?
69
00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:58,401
I don't know.
70
00:02:58,468 --> 00:03:01,470
I didn't know anything
about it until this episode.
71
00:03:07,744 --> 00:03:10,079
Is the coast clear?
Baby shower over?
72
00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:11,781
Yes, it is.
73
00:03:11,848 --> 00:03:15,251
Wow! For the first time, the
carpet matches the drapes.
74
00:03:18,055 --> 00:03:20,523
How did we do?
How was the take?
75
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:23,726
How was the haul? How
much loot did we make?
76
00:03:23,794 --> 00:03:25,895
Oh, little bit
underwhelming, I would say.
77
00:03:25,962 --> 00:03:28,664
We... well, we got
a bunch of rattles.
78
00:03:28,732 --> 00:03:31,400
And a highchair,
a year's supply of diapers,
79
00:03:31,468 --> 00:03:33,669
And a pair
of flammable pajamas.
80
00:03:33,737 --> 00:03:35,971
Mom, I don't know why
you're being so negative.
81
00:03:36,039 --> 00:03:37,673
I mean, aside from
the flammable pajamas,
82
00:03:37,741 --> 00:03:39,141
We could use
all this stuff.
83
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:40,376
Hey, everybody!
84
00:03:40,444 --> 00:03:43,446
So, I'm not familiar
with baby showers.
85
00:03:43,513 --> 00:03:45,481
Is this...is this
good or bad?
86
00:03:45,549 --> 00:03:47,616
Bad. But hardly
anyone showed up.
87
00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:49,552
You guys didn't want
to invite anybody,
88
00:03:49,619 --> 00:03:51,687
And apparently Eddie and I
have no friends.
89
00:03:51,755 --> 00:03:54,223
What about the
Woodcocks or Kenny?
90
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:57,426
And the other 5 girls
who've played Ally?
91
00:03:57,494 --> 00:04:01,030
How about the, rich neighbor
next door and his hot wife,
92
00:04:01,098 --> 00:04:04,767
Or was it too expensive to
fly 'em out from New York?
93
00:04:04,835 --> 00:04:07,303
He's having a relapse of sitcomosis.
94
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,704
He's seeing
Dr. Bialik.
95
00:04:08,772 --> 00:04:10,973
I already made an appointment for him.
96
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,908
Yeah, not that it's
gonna make any difference,
97
00:04:12,976 --> 00:04:15,478
Because when we're not on
camera, none of us exist.
98
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:19,381
Ok, Doug, for the last time,
we are not in a sitcom,
99
00:04:19,449 --> 00:04:21,350
And we exist
all the time.
100
00:04:21,418 --> 00:04:24,220
Ok, then why do I have these
giant gaps in my memory?
101
00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:26,422
Oh, I'd like to take a crack at that.
102
00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:28,757
Could it be because
all the weed you smoked?
103
00:04:28,825 --> 00:04:31,660
Okay. You see? How come we
can't even have a conversation
104
00:04:31,728 --> 00:04:32,962
And talk like
normal people?
105
00:04:33,029 --> 00:04:35,731
How come everything has to
be part of a running gag?
106
00:04:35,799 --> 00:04:37,533
Maybe because you're
a walking joke.
107
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,637
I'll go talk to him.
108
00:04:41,705 --> 00:04:45,074
He always gets like this
toward the end of the season.
109
00:04:45,142 --> 00:04:46,575
Not like I would know.
110
00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:49,311
Yeah, because you
weren't here last season.
111
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:50,846
Okay, honey. Come on!
112
00:04:57,937 --> 00:05:01,139
I'm telling you, Whitey, her behavior's
getting more and more manic.
113
00:05:01,207 --> 00:05:03,808
She's up all hours of the
night doing housekeeping
114
00:05:03,876 --> 00:05:05,544
Or working on
her crazy lists
115
00:05:05,611 --> 00:05:06,945
Or obsessing
about the baby.
116
00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:08,647
That's not
unusual, Eddie.
117
00:05:08,714 --> 00:05:10,615
It's called maternal
transference.
118
00:05:10,683 --> 00:05:12,951
For instance, when
my sister got pregnant,
119
00:05:13,019 --> 00:05:14,486
My mother started lactating.
120
00:05:14,554 --> 00:05:19,191
On the upside, I didn't have to
pay for half-and-half for 6 months.
121
00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,792
Look at this crazy
list she made here
122
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:22,794
Of all the stuff she
wants to get the baby.
123
00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:26,164
And everything on this
list, the best money can buy.
124
00:05:26,232 --> 00:05:27,933
Why does it have to be the
best? We're not the best.
125
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,268
Why can't it be,
pretty good
126
00:05:30,336 --> 00:05:32,971
Or not bad if you're
feelin' flush, right?
127
00:05:33,039 --> 00:05:34,940
And look at this
baby stroller.
128
00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:37,008
This costs more
than my first car.
129
00:05:37,076 --> 00:05:39,544
Yet she still buys me
generic heart medicine.
130
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:43,181
Well, it's a stokke. That's
the best you can get there.
131
00:05:43,249 --> 00:05:47,052
You get disc brakes and a rollover
bar, a chemical toilet onboard.
132
00:05:47,119 --> 00:05:49,054
Well, how do you
know about this?
133
00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:51,223
I have one.
Why would you have one?
134
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:54,059
I collect things
with wheels, Eddie.
135
00:05:54,126 --> 00:05:56,561
Wow. That's
a lot of things.
136
00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:57,762
Yeah, it sure is.
137
00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,798
You got cheese
and hamster and ferris.
138
00:05:59,865 --> 00:06:01,967
There's a whole
round world out there.
139
00:06:02,034 --> 00:06:06,438
Anyway, I would
like to give Doug and Ally,
140
00:06:06,505 --> 00:06:09,174
That stokke as a gift.
141
00:06:09,242 --> 00:06:11,209
Well, are you sure, Whitey?
142
00:06:13,613 --> 00:06:14,479
Whitey?
143
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:16,748
Yes. Yes, I'm sure.
144
00:06:16,816 --> 00:06:21,419
It would be good for me, and
it would be good for the baby.
145
00:06:21,487 --> 00:06:25,156
Wow. That I... thank you.
You are an amazing friend.
146
00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:28,860
I don't think you and I could be
closer if one of us was a florist.
147
00:06:30,229 --> 00:06:31,162
More coffee?
148
00:06:31,230 --> 00:06:32,430
Appreciate it.
Thank you!
149
00:06:32,498 --> 00:06:33,832
You bet.
150
00:06:33,899 --> 00:06:36,501
So everything
with wheels, huh?
151
00:06:36,569 --> 00:06:37,569
Oh, yeah!
152
00:06:37,637 --> 00:06:40,238
I have spent hours
at the VA hospital.
153
00:06:46,212 --> 00:06:47,379
Joy.
154
00:06:48,681 --> 00:06:50,148
What? Where are you?
155
00:06:50,216 --> 00:06:51,783
I'm in the bathroom.
156
00:06:51,851 --> 00:06:53,418
What's wrong
with the toilet seat?
157
00:06:53,486 --> 00:06:54,953
I can't get it up.
158
00:06:55,021 --> 00:06:57,956
Is that one problem or two?
159
00:06:59,058 --> 00:07:01,293
Stop screwin' around,
Joy. I've gotta pee.
160
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,428
What's wrong with
the toilet seat?
161
00:07:03,496 --> 00:07:05,764
Oh, I put a lock on it.
162
00:07:05,831 --> 00:07:07,098
What?!
163
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:09,301
I put a lock on it.
164
00:07:09,368 --> 00:07:11,536
Is there something
valuable in there?
165
00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:14,372
No. It's babyproofing.
166
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,640
Okay. Listen to me.
167
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,709
I don't
have time for this.
168
00:07:17,777 --> 00:07:19,377
How do you
unlock it?
169
00:07:19,445 --> 00:07:22,280
You put your hand
under the thing,
170
00:07:22,348 --> 00:07:24,816
And then you put
your right index finger,
171
00:07:24,884 --> 00:07:28,586
And you find the little latch,
and you pull the latch forward.
172
00:07:31,757 --> 00:07:33,591
Are you taking a shower?
173
00:07:33,659 --> 00:07:35,493
Part of me is.
174
00:07:38,831 --> 00:07:40,899
Almost done.
175
00:07:46,038 --> 00:07:48,373
Joy-Joy, honey...
176
00:07:48,441 --> 00:07:51,843
We... we have to
have a conversation.
177
00:07:51,911 --> 00:07:54,546
You're out
of your mind.
178
00:07:54,613 --> 00:07:56,381
No, you know what?
No. You're wrong.
179
00:07:56,449 --> 00:07:58,083
I've never been
more in my mind.
180
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:02,120
If we don't take care of this kid,
then who's gonna take care of it, huh?
181
00:08:02,188 --> 00:08:03,555
Okay, listen to me.
182
00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:08,126
The baby won't even be walking
on his own for at least a year.
183
00:08:08,194 --> 00:08:11,596
We don't have to go around
now and start locking toilets
184
00:08:11,664 --> 00:08:13,965
Or buying everything
that's on your lists.
185
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,901
I wanna do everything
in advance.
186
00:08:16,969 --> 00:08:20,672
Baby, we're gonna have the best
grandchild in the whole world.
187
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:23,641
He's...he's gonna be
a genius.
188
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:26,511
Don't say that, Joy.
We don't want a genius.
189
00:08:26,579 --> 00:08:28,847
Geniuses can't deal
with the real world.
190
00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:31,916
They become creeps
or serial killers
191
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:32,917
And "Simpsons" writers.
192
00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:34,786
What we want,
really, is a kid
193
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,821
Who could throw
a football 80 yards.
194
00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:38,790
We don't want
a baby genius.
195
00:08:38,858 --> 00:08:40,625
We want
a baby Tom Brady.
196
00:08:40,693 --> 00:08:43,261
Why? Because quarterbacks
get to sleep with supermodels.
197
00:08:43,329 --> 00:08:44,362
Do you understand?
198
00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:46,765
Now get in here and help
me unlock the toilet,
199
00:08:46,832 --> 00:08:49,567
Or else you're gonna
have to retile the shower.
200
00:08:59,585 --> 00:09:01,186
This is weird.
201
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:02,754
Tell me about it.
202
00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:05,357
These people used to be part
of my fake life on "Blossom,"
203
00:09:05,424 --> 00:09:07,759
And now we're sitting here
making a reality show
204
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:09,561
About people who used
to be on sitcoms.
205
00:09:09,629 --> 00:09:11,863
I mean, it really doesn't
get much weirder than that.
206
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:14,165
And we're actually
paying to be here.
207
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:15,400
Oh, shut up, Michael!
208
00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,268
Don't tell me to shut up.
I was in "Dark Knight."
209
00:09:17,336 --> 00:09:18,737
Okay, I've seen the film,
like, 10 times.
210
00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:20,271
I still don't know
which clown you were.
211
00:09:20,339 --> 00:09:21,439
The funny one.
212
00:09:21,507 --> 00:09:22,841
They're not supposed
to be funny.
213
00:09:22,908 --> 00:09:24,676
You know, well, it's not
like you been doin' anything.
214
00:09:24,744 --> 00:09:26,177
Ah, actually I did
an episode of "Cold Case."
215
00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:28,146
It was the one about
your missing career.
216
00:09:28,214 --> 00:09:29,147
Oh, bravo!
217
00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:31,383
Oh, and I also did
a "Family Guy."
218
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:32,384
Really?
219
00:09:32,451 --> 00:09:33,551
Does his wife know?
220
00:09:33,619 --> 00:09:35,553
Wow. That's your joke?
Still got it.
221
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:37,088
That's the joke? Good.
Zing.
222
00:09:37,156 --> 00:09:38,356
Okay. We're...
223
00:09:38,424 --> 00:09:39,591
We're losing focus here.
224
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,393
We're...we're here
to help Doug.
225
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,728
Who did you play
on the show?
226
00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:46,931
Were you that guy in the
party scene with tobey maguire?
227
00:09:46,999 --> 00:09:49,167
No. I wasn't
on "Blossom."
228
00:09:49,235 --> 00:09:51,269
Why are you here?
Why is he here?
229
00:09:51,337 --> 00:09:55,573
Doug believes that he's
living in a sitcom right now,
230
00:09:55,641 --> 00:09:58,343
So I thought it would be good
for him to see the distinction
231
00:09:58,411 --> 00:10:00,945
Between people who were
actually on a sitcom
232
00:10:01,013 --> 00:10:05,550
Versus the fantasy of believing
you're currently in one.
233
00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:07,252
And you
really believe that?
234
00:10:07,319 --> 00:10:09,721
Yep. I do, actually.
235
00:10:09,789 --> 00:10:11,656
Okay, so when is
your show "on"?
236
00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:14,759
Well, it's not
actually on right now.
237
00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:17,629
Uh, I don't...
I don't think.
238
00:10:17,697 --> 00:10:19,998
Uh, I mean,
239
00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:22,467
We've had a lot of
different time slots
240
00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:24,269
And, like, 5 different actresses
241
00:10:24,336 --> 00:10:25,270
Playing my wife.
242
00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:27,272
You know, we had
a little saying
243
00:10:27,339 --> 00:10:28,740
On the "Dark Knight" set.
244
00:10:28,808 --> 00:10:31,409
If you are not on,
you are not on.
245
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:34,012
Said that a lot
on "Dark Knight," huh?
246
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,413
That's right.
247
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,882
Christian Bale,
nice guy?
248
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:40,552
Who?
249
00:10:41,353 --> 00:10:42,520
We're drifting again, folks.
250
00:10:42,588 --> 00:10:44,789
Let's try and focus
on Doug's problem.
251
00:10:44,857 --> 00:10:47,092
I don't really understand
what Doug's problem is.
252
00:10:47,159 --> 00:10:48,426
He's not on a sitcom.
253
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:51,763
I mean, if he is, he's
on one nobody's ever seen.
254
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:54,332
But...but sometimes
I see booms or...
255
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,468
Or lighting guys
and stagehands.
256
00:10:56,535 --> 00:10:59,437
Maybe you're on
a Tyler Perry Show.
257
00:10:59,505 --> 00:11:02,373
I don't think so.
258
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:06,311
Who is this guy?
259
00:11:06,378 --> 00:11:09,180
Oh, this is Gary Shapiro.
He thinks he's Joey.
260
00:11:09,248 --> 00:11:11,349
Listen, Gary, you
may have Joey's hair,
261
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:13,551
But you sure don't
have his body.
262
00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:16,921
I'm working on it.
Dr. Bialik,
263
00:11:16,989 --> 00:11:19,524
I thought these sessions
were supposed to be supportive.
264
00:11:19,592 --> 00:11:22,060
It's the worst
35 bucks I've ever spent.
265
00:11:22,128 --> 00:11:24,562
35 dollars?
You're charging me 70.
266
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:25,730
You were
in "dark knight."
267
00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:27,632
I was
clown number 3!
268
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,267
Complain to your agent,
michael, not to me.
269
00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:31,770
If I could get him on the
phone, don't you think I would?
270
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:34,372
Hey, hey, hey!
Everybody,
271
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,842
I don't think fighting
is gonna help any of us.
272
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:39,644
Doug is right.
You know, I think
273
00:11:39,712 --> 00:11:42,013
This may not have been
a very good idea.
274
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:45,150
I thought it would be good to
mix a little reality with fantasy,
275
00:11:45,217 --> 00:11:46,985
But I'm sorry, Doug.
I was wrong.
276
00:11:47,052 --> 00:11:48,086
Yeah, you sure
were, sister.
277
00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:51,322
Can I get a prescription
for percocet?
278
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,690
No.
279
00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:54,826
Then why am I here?
280
00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:56,661
Come on, fake joey.
281
00:11:56,729 --> 00:11:59,931
Let's go get wasted and try
and get on Dr. Drew's show.
282
00:12:04,403 --> 00:12:06,304
Can you validate me?
283
00:12:07,406 --> 00:12:09,107
You're a great actress.
284
00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:11,442
Oh! Thank you.
285
00:12:11,510 --> 00:12:12,443
Good luck, Doug.
286
00:12:12,511 --> 00:12:13,444
Oh, thanks.
287
00:12:13,512 --> 00:12:15,747
Oh, and,
if you ever do
288
00:12:15,815 --> 00:12:17,649
Change wives again on the show,
289
00:12:17,716 --> 00:12:18,716
I'm available.
290
00:12:18,784 --> 00:12:21,519
I could be your wife
number 6. Hello!
291
00:12:21,587 --> 00:12:23,555
Hey! That could happen.
On our show,
292
00:12:23,622 --> 00:12:26,024
We've gone through more
actresses than warren beatty.
293
00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:29,260
Well, here's my card.
294
00:12:29,328 --> 00:12:30,495
Stay in touch.
295
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:33,698
By the way, you were
always my favorite one.
296
00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:36,401
I always thought
you were the hot one.
297
00:12:39,805 --> 00:12:41,973
Not smart, Doug.
We're done here.
298
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,675
Uh, really?
299
00:12:43,742 --> 00:12:45,310
22 minutes, we gotta
wrap everything up.
300
00:12:45,377 --> 00:12:47,912
Rusty, cue theme song.
301
00:12:57,256 --> 00:12:58,923
Hey, Whitey!
302
00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:00,124
Hi, Joy!
303
00:13:00,192 --> 00:13:02,861
Oh, my God!
It's a stokke.
304
00:13:02,928 --> 00:13:03,862
Yes, it is.
305
00:13:03,929 --> 00:13:07,832
Wow. The kids are
gonna be so stokked.
306
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,701
Eddie didn't tell you?
307
00:13:09,768 --> 00:13:11,202
I thought he was
kidding, you know?
308
00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:13,771
I thought it was one of those
jokes you freaks play on each other.
309
00:13:13,839 --> 00:13:15,874
No, Joy. It's no joke.
310
00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:19,210
This is... this is my
little gift to the new baby.
311
00:13:19,278 --> 00:13:21,479
That is an extremely
generous gift.
312
00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:23,548
I mean, these things
cost a fortune.
313
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:26,117
Oh, no! The cost...
is meaningless
314
00:13:26,185 --> 00:13:29,187
When it comes to the happiness
of Eddie's grandchild.
315
00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:30,555
And my grandchild.
Yeah.
316
00:13:30,623 --> 00:13:32,156
Whatever.
317
00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:36,327
Well, thank you.
I wanna show it to the kids.
318
00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:38,963
Yeah. You know,
one of the great things
319
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:42,634
About these strollers is they can
also be used as a car seat and...
320
00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:43,534
Bassinet. Yeah!
321
00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:44,569
I know.
It's fabulous.
322
00:13:44,637 --> 00:13:45,570
It's fantastic.
Yeah.
323
00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:46,871
I'm gonna go
show it to Ally.
324
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,306
Okay. You know,
maybe I should show you
325
00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:51,309
How to, you know,
work some of these features.
326
00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:53,544
Oh, you don't
have to show us.
327
00:13:53,612 --> 00:13:55,380
No, we'll...
we'll figure it out.
328
00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:57,515
It was so,
so generous, again,
329
00:13:57,583 --> 00:14:00,318
Of you to give it to...
330
00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:01,819
Us.
331
00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:03,755
All righty.
332
00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:04,989
Okay, then.
333
00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:08,593
So I guess
I'll just go.
334
00:14:08,661 --> 00:14:09,594
Okay.
335
00:14:09,662 --> 00:14:10,595
Yeah. Well,
336
00:14:10,663 --> 00:14:14,065
Good-bye, Cynthia.
337
00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:15,633
My name's Joy.
338
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:17,635
I wasn't talking to you.
339
00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:24,943
Ally! G-mama
is in the house!
340
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:26,377
Come in!
341
00:14:26,445 --> 00:14:28,179
Surprise!
342
00:14:28,247 --> 00:14:29,747
Got somethin'
for the baby.
343
00:14:29,815 --> 00:14:32,383
Stop, mom.
Stop right there.
344
00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:33,751
What?
345
00:14:33,819 --> 00:14:36,154
Look at this place. There isn't
any room for anything else.
346
00:14:36,221 --> 00:14:37,922
There isn't even any room for the baby.
347
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:39,557
Oh, stop it.
Don't be ridiculous.
348
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,559
Once we get everything
out of the boxes
349
00:14:41,627 --> 00:14:43,828
And set it all up,
it's gonna be perfect.
350
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:46,064
No, no. It's too much.
Look, I don't even know
351
00:14:46,131 --> 00:14:47,632
What to do with half
of this stuff.
352
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,000
I appreciate
what you're doing,
353
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,302
But, you know, I just wanted
a simple papoose sling,
354
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:52,603
Not some giant stroller.
355
00:14:52,671 --> 00:14:54,572
Ally, your hormones
are going crazy.
356
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,009
You don't know what you want.
You need all this stuff.
357
00:14:58,077 --> 00:14:59,277
Read any baby blog.
358
00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:01,879
I didn't have any of this
stuff when I was a baby,
359
00:15:01,947 --> 00:15:02,880
And I turned out fine.
360
00:15:02,948 --> 00:15:04,315
You're homeless
and pregnant.
361
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:06,784
You're a banjo and a cleft
palate away from "deliverance."
362
00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:10,088
And you've got a banjo.
363
00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:11,889
Come on, babe. Listen.
364
00:15:11,957 --> 00:15:13,891
Your dad and I, we did...
365
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:16,160
We did a lot
of things wrong.
366
00:15:16,228 --> 00:15:17,562
No. No, you didn't.
367
00:15:17,629 --> 00:15:21,399
I love that beer can mobile
that was strung above my crib.
368
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,500
That wasn't a mobile.
369
00:15:22,568 --> 00:15:24,802
We didn't have room
in the fridge.
370
00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:26,838
Well, look. I'm gonna
be perfectly fine,
371
00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:28,973
And the baby's
gonna be perfectly fine.
372
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:30,441
There's nothing
to worry about.
373
00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:33,644
I don't think I like
your attitude, young lady.
374
00:15:33,712 --> 00:15:34,779
What?
375
00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:37,215
All this "everything's
gonna be perfectly fine"
376
00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:38,649
La-di-da attitude.
377
00:15:38,717 --> 00:15:41,319
Come on. If the greatest
generation had said,
378
00:15:41,387 --> 00:15:43,921
"everything is gonna be fine,"
after pearl harbor,
379
00:15:43,989 --> 00:15:46,758
We'd all be
speaking japanese.
380
00:15:46,825 --> 00:15:49,694
Are you comparing the fact
that I don't want a stroller
381
00:15:49,762 --> 00:15:50,695
To world war I?
382
00:15:50,763 --> 00:15:52,997
And clearly we've
got to get this kid
383
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,133
Into a better school
than you went to.
384
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,368
Mom, I think you're just
being a little over the top.
385
00:15:57,436 --> 00:16:00,538
Oh, yeah? If I'm over the top,
then you're under the bottom.
386
00:16:00,606 --> 00:16:02,573
Mom, look at this place.
387
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:05,576
I mean, I think it looks like
the inside of your head right now.
388
00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:08,179
It's cluttered and filled
with unnecessary stuff.
389
00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:09,580
It's just too much.
390
00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:11,849
Okay, this is not clutter.
391
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:12,784
This is love.
392
00:16:12,851 --> 00:16:14,519
It's clutter.
393
00:16:15,821 --> 00:16:18,122
Doug? Where are you?
394
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,525
I'm on the bed.
I fell asleep,
395
00:16:20,592 --> 00:16:22,727
And then there
was a cave-in.
396
00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:23,961
See? It's too much.
397
00:16:24,029 --> 00:16:26,764
Don't worry, honey.
I'm comin' to get ya.
398
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:28,766
I can't feel my legs.
399
00:16:36,177 --> 00:16:37,110
Hey, Whitey.
400
00:16:37,178 --> 00:16:38,011
Hi, Eddie.
401
00:16:38,078 --> 00:16:38,879
What's this?
402
00:16:38,946 --> 00:16:42,215
It's a stokke, just exactly
like the one I gave you.
403
00:16:42,283 --> 00:16:44,418
Well, why?
She's not havin' twins.
404
00:16:44,485 --> 00:16:48,689
I know. I need the one
I gave you back... Cynthia.
405
00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:50,624
Why are you
calling me Cynthia?
406
00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:52,159
No, that's
the stroller's name.
407
00:16:52,226 --> 00:16:54,494
Everything I own
has a name, Eddie.
408
00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:59,266
I mean, the gloves are
Johnny Winter and Edgar.
409
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,068
I don't understand.
410
00:17:01,135 --> 00:17:03,837
I'm a hoarder, Eddie.
I am a hoarder.
411
00:17:03,905 --> 00:17:05,505
I hoard things.
412
00:17:05,573 --> 00:17:08,542
I can't let go of anything
I've ever touched.
413
00:17:08,609 --> 00:17:11,645
I mean, you wouldn't believe
my collection of doorknobs
414
00:17:11,713 --> 00:17:14,981
And place mats and lamps and
license plates and eyeglasses
415
00:17:15,049 --> 00:17:17,784
And nude photos
of mailmen and...
416
00:17:17,852 --> 00:17:19,519
Okay, I get it.
I get it.
417
00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:20,721
You're...
you're a hoarder.
418
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:23,623
Yeah. And I thought
I could get over it,
419
00:17:23,691 --> 00:17:25,992
You know, using my desire
to help you,
420
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:27,694
But it just didn't work.
421
00:17:27,762 --> 00:17:29,496
Anyway...
422
00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:31,598
My skin has never
touched this stroller,
423
00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:34,501
So I have no emotional
connection. I wonder if you cou...
424
00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:38,138
If you could just trade 'em
out with me, that would be...
425
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:40,507
Okay. Sure. You want me
to switch the strollers.
426
00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:42,375
Please.
Okay. All right.
427
00:17:42,443 --> 00:17:45,245
I will do that.
I will go get you cindy.
428
00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:47,314
No, no!
It's Cynthia.
429
00:17:47,381 --> 00:17:49,516
Cindy is a bowling ball.
430
00:17:50,918 --> 00:17:53,553
Thanks. And a tip
of the henry to you.
431
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:55,422
Okay.
432
00:17:58,392 --> 00:17:59,226
Me!
433
00:17:59,293 --> 00:18:00,460
It's open.
434
00:18:00,528 --> 00:18:02,996
Hey, I was gonna
make some lunch...
435
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,798
Where the hell
is everything?
436
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,032
It's in the garage.
437
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,467
Oh, good thinking.
438
00:18:07,535 --> 00:18:08,502
We could paint.
439
00:18:08,569 --> 00:18:11,471
'cause I have an idea
for a cowboy mural.
440
00:18:11,539 --> 00:18:13,673
Or trains.
'cause boys love trains.
441
00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:15,642
No. Mom, no more.
I told you.
442
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:17,577
I don't want any
more of the stuff.
443
00:18:17,645 --> 00:18:20,847
And I told you that I
want you to have everything,
444
00:18:20,915 --> 00:18:22,849
And I'm bigger than you.
445
00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:23,850
Wait! What is that?
446
00:18:23,918 --> 00:18:25,719
Oh, it's a gift
from uncle Charlie
447
00:18:25,787 --> 00:18:26,653
And his partner
Terrence.
448
00:18:26,721 --> 00:18:27,721
It's called
Bi-curious George.
449
00:18:27,789 --> 00:18:29,556
Let me take him
out of his closet.
450
00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:31,057
He's been there
long enough.
451
00:18:32,794 --> 00:18:34,895
He talks, too.
452
00:18:34,962 --> 00:18:36,463
I need a man
453
00:18:36,531 --> 00:18:39,466
In a big yellow hat.
454
00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:43,036
Huh. God, you know,
I should have thought of that.
455
00:18:43,104 --> 00:18:45,572
I don't know why
I didn't think of that.
456
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,074
Educational toys. I'm gonna
get some more of those.
457
00:18:48,142 --> 00:18:50,043
No, no, mom, stop.
Look, I am the mother.
458
00:18:50,111 --> 00:18:51,578
The mother has control
over the child.
459
00:18:51,646 --> 00:18:53,580
Exactly, and I
am your mother.
460
00:18:53,648 --> 00:18:56,817
That means you do
whatever I tell you to do.
461
00:18:56,884 --> 00:18:57,884
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
462
00:18:57,952 --> 00:19:00,253
No, I don't.
Yes, you do!
463
00:19:00,321 --> 00:19:01,221
Mom, what are
you doing?
464
00:19:01,289 --> 00:19:02,656
I don't know! I'm having
465
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:05,091
A nervous breakdown because
my baby is having a baby!
466
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:08,395
I thought that I was ok with all
this, Ally, and I'm really not,
467
00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:12,265
Because now it's real. I mean, a
baby is gonna come out of my Ally.
468
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,935
I mean, not my alley,
but my...your...
469
00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:17,771
You know what I'm saying.
It's gonna come out,
470
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:19,472
And then what
are we gonna do?
471
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,509
I mean, somebody in this house
is gonna say, "mommy,"
472
00:19:22,577 --> 00:19:24,511
And they're not gonna
be talking to me.
473
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:26,713
Oh, God, I'm so terrified.
474
00:19:26,781 --> 00:19:28,548
Oh, mom.
475
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:32,586
Oh, where are you?
I'm here.
476
00:19:32,653 --> 00:19:35,589
Come here. I gotta
talk to you. Come here.
477
00:19:35,656 --> 00:19:36,590
Listen to me.
478
00:19:36,657 --> 00:19:38,592
I have to tell you
something
479
00:19:38,659 --> 00:19:41,027
That nobody
knows about me,
480
00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:44,231
And I've never said this
to anyone ever before.
481
00:19:44,298 --> 00:19:48,168
But I am a little bit
of a control freak.
482
00:19:48,236 --> 00:19:50,003
No, mom. You don't...
483
00:19:50,071 --> 00:19:51,137
Shh! Let me finish!
484
00:19:51,205 --> 00:19:53,673
This whole
baby thing,
485
00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:57,577
It's... it makes me feel
like I'm out of control,
486
00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:58,745
And I'm freaked out.
487
00:19:58,813 --> 00:20:00,714
I mean, not just
a little bit,
488
00:20:00,781 --> 00:20:02,749
But I am
a lot freaked out.
489
00:20:02,817 --> 00:20:05,752
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm pretty freaked out, too,
490
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,753
A lot.
491
00:20:07,822 --> 00:20:09,289
What a pair we make.
492
00:20:10,358 --> 00:20:12,859
All right.
Well, come here.
493
00:20:12,927 --> 00:20:17,497
I guess we'll just try
to get through this,
494
00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:19,499
This whole thing
together.
495
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:23,470
And if I ever
get to be too much...
496
00:20:23,537 --> 00:20:24,471
Oh, no. Mo...
497
00:20:24,538 --> 00:20:25,872
Shh! Let me finish!
498
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:30,911
If at any time you
feel like I'm too much
499
00:20:30,978 --> 00:20:32,646
Or I'm doing
too much
500
00:20:32,713 --> 00:20:34,848
Or maybe I'm
saying too much,
501
00:20:34,916 --> 00:20:36,850
Tell me to stop.
502
00:20:36,918 --> 00:20:38,952
Mom, stop.
503
00:20:40,187 --> 00:20:42,122
We're gonna get through this,
504
00:20:42,189 --> 00:20:43,823
The two of us.
505
00:20:45,126 --> 00:20:47,160
Don't you mean
the three of us?
506
00:20:47,228 --> 00:20:50,063
Yeah. I guess I do.
507
00:20:51,599 --> 00:20:53,033
I love you.
508
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,601
I love you, too, mom.
509
00:21:01,509 --> 00:21:03,743
Please stand by.
510
00:21:03,811 --> 00:21:06,313
Excuse me a second.
511
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,648
You're a good aim.
Was just...
512
00:21:08,716 --> 00:21:10,116
It's that high?
513
00:21:10,184 --> 00:21:14,120
It was just one-inch area that
could have affected it, and you...
514
00:21:14,188 --> 00:21:16,423
It's called
maternal transference.
515
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:20,160
For instance, my sister,
when she got pregnant...
516
00:21:20,227 --> 00:21:23,563
I'm sorry. Just went
to bermuda for a second there.
517
00:21:23,631 --> 00:21:25,932
Okay, come on!
518
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,033
How was it there?
519
00:21:27,101 --> 00:21:29,536
It was quite nice,
actually. Thank you.
520
00:21:29,603 --> 00:21:30,604
Where you stayin'?
521
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,500
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
522
00:21:33,550 --> 00:21:38,100
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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