All language subtitles for Til Death s03e19 Keeper.eng

Sync by fant0m
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'Til Death is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.

What are you doing?

You have cheeto
dust in your hair

and on the waistband
of your sweatpants.

What is going on?

It's complicated.

Your brother and his
new boyfriend

Are gonna be here
any second.

We wanna make
a good impression.

Honey, look. You know
I love my brother.

But it's gonna be
a weekend filled

With antiquing, musicals

And expensive salads
with grapefruit on 'em.

Let me just be a guy
until the doorbell rings.

Fine.

I'm so excited that
they're coming.

Charlie made a reservation
at a wine bar tonight.

Yeah, all I'm hearing is no peanuts,
no pinball, and no handsy cougars.

How dare they
call themselves a bar.

Oh, that's them!
Turn that off.

You, come here.
How are you?

Oh, hello, pal.

Nice of you
to get dressed for me.

What? What? These
are my best sweats.

Yeah,
very nice, very nice.

I'm flattered.

Everybody,
this is Terence.

Terence, this is my brother
Eddie, his lovely wife Joy.

My pleasure.
Nice to meet you.

I've...I've heard
a lot about you both.

Well, likewise.
You look good, Charlie.

It's all smoke
and mirrors

And a very aggressive
man girdle.

Listen, I'm sorry
we're late.

There was
construction on 95,

And then we had
to take a detour,

And this one
inuists on driving

And refuses to ask
for directions.

Won't even listen
to the g.P.S. Lady.

All I need is a map
and the big dipper,

And I can get us
anywhere.

I use
the dipper, too.

Oh, great! Great.

You're both geniuses.

Anyway, I come
bearing gifts.

There you are.

Thank you, Charlie.
And you.

Thank you.

Oh, honey, I think
I got yours.

No, no, no. Those are for you.

They're mint green
for your eagles games

As you hold up
your mugs of beer.

What do you think?

Is there
a gift receipt?

Yeah, it's
in the bag.

I love 'em.

I told him.

Yeah.

Wow, that is one
great sweatshirt.

Where did you
get that?

Oh, I work for the n.B.A.

I get 'em for free.

I can send you one
if you want.

Really? Well...

I would love that.
Thank you.

You know, the knicks are
playing the 76ers right now.

We were listening to it
in the car.

And I was watching
it on tv

And then she made me
turn it off.

He made me turn it off.

Well, let's turn it
back on.

Eddie.

How can one
group of men

Beating another group
of men in a sports game

Possibly make a
difference in your life?

Yeah, but listening
to les mis 1,000 times,

That makes sense.

Oh! I wonder how
it's going to end?

So, who is psyched for that wine bar?

I hear they have
amazing tapas.

Oh, yeah. In fact,
I hear that they have

These
prosciutto-wrapped figs

Infused
with truffle oil.

Are those cheetos?

So, where are
you guys staying?

El Cheapo, he
made a reservation

At a place
called big 6.

Trust me. It's
not as fun as it sounds.

Are these, like,
extra cheesy?

You bet they are.

I take the orange
powder from the old bag,

Put it in the new one.

If I wasn't in love
with your brother,

And you weren't
married and straight,

You'd be in trouble
right now, buddy.

Oh, right back at ya.

So, we should,
we should probably go.

We don't want to
miss our reservation.

You know what?
Why don't you two go

And Terence and I will stay
here and watch the game.

Well, honey.

Don't you think we
should all be together?

Yeah, you know,
you're right.

Why don't we order the
pizzas and you grab the beers.

Or, since they don't want
to watch the game anyway,

They could get
the pizza and the beer.

Welcome to the family.

Miller at half court

with a chance
to take the lead.

No! Don't
shoot the 3.

Do not shoot the...just take
the 2 po...and tie it up.

You're not
gonna make it.

You're not
gonna make it.

Miller buries it!

He made it!

He made the 3!

Great game, buddy.

Hey, great game to you.

Don't worry about it, T.

You're gonna
get us next time.

Buried the 3.

Look at
these two.

Acting like they just
played the game.

They're sweating
like they did.

No, that's
the flaming onion rings.

Offensive, but delicious.

Okay, game's over.

We could, probably
make last call.

Honey, last call?

Double overtime.

It's almost 11:30 P.M.

I mean, burp me
and put me to bed.

No, no, no.

We were gonna have a drink.

I thought we were gonna see the town?

Oh, the town will
be there tomorrow.

Yep, and so will
college football.

So, everybody get
here at 11:00 A.M.

No! No, what happened
to antiquing?

All right.

Get here at 10:30.

I'll walk you
through our basement

And show you a lot
of old crappy things.

Night-night!

My, all right.

And brunch is here.

Where's T?

Who's T?

You know, Terence.

Oh, he got
a phone call from work.

So, he had to go back
into the city

For some sort
of basketball emergency.

But he didn't
even say good-bye.

Well, he sends his regrets
and big mwah-mwahs.

But we were supposed to
watch college football today.

Well, now you
can join us.

We were gonna play
some board games

And then
go antiquing.

That's like the opposite
of college football.

And also, I was gonna
introduce him to kenny.

From everything
I've heard from Eddie,

He sounds like
a magical man.

Well, the man is magic.

I guess you're
just stuck with me.

Who are you?

Eh, just
my brother Charlie.

Oh... okay,

It's my favorite beverage.

Wine.

Vodka. Gin.

It comes from a fruit.

Pina colada.

I drink it for breakfast.

I said pina colada.

You squeeze it.

Oh! A forbidden word.

"Squeeze."
She said "squeeze."

A forbidden.
All right.

Okay. Last week
at that restaurant,

Eddie was obsessed
with this.

Our waitress'
slammin' booty.

No.
No, he was.

He told me
in the bathroom.

Couldn't stop
talking about it.

Ok. All right.

Your time is up.

That means we don't
talk anymore.

Ok, it's our turn. Ok.

All right. You
ready, Eddie?

Oh, I am. But first,
do you have the time?

Yes, I do.

It happens to be
ass-kicking time!

Ass-kicking time.

And go.
Okay.

All right.
This is something

That I have
in my vestibule.

A chair.
A bench.

No. No, it's...

It's right above
the credenza.

Ok, where... the one
that Terence gave me

For our anniversary.

A credenza. Is that
gay for table?

I don't know. I don't
know anything anymore.

Are you all right?

No.

No, Terence and I
broke up last night.

Oh, but I...I thought

He had important n.B.A.
Basketball business.

Oh, please.
I made all that up.

Oh, we had a huge fight
at the hotel.

Oh, my God, Charlie.
Are you okay?

No.

Would it be weird for you if
t and I still kept in touch?

I need some tea.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Go talk to him.

I can't.

Why not?

Look, I would like
to help him,

But I'm
not good at that.

Why don't you go
in there, talk to him,

And when you're done,

Reach into the cheese drawer
and bring out whatever you find

And I'll meet you
in front of the fun box.

Eddie, he's your brother.

I know, and he's
your brother-in-law.

That's the law.

And that's not me. That's
your own government talking.

Man, you guys want me to
go in there and talk to him?

I'm just gonna
bounce, all right?

Come on.

What are you
so afraid of?

Honey, I'm not afraid.

It just...I can't
fix this.

It's not
about fixing it.

It's about listening.

It's about validating
his feelings.

We've been together
25 years.

Have I ever once validated
any one of your feelings?

Remember when your grandma
died and you were crying

And I tried to play
with your boobs?

You're right.
You suck.

But you gotta learn
how to do this some time,

So get in there.

All right.

Fine.

I'll do it.

But you owe me.
Why?

I don't know.

I want to talk
to you about...

How you're feeling.

And I wanna
do that now.

So, how you feeling?

I mean about
you and Terence

And the relationship.

Look at you.

Aren't you sweet?

All right.

All right,
with me and Terence,

It's very complicated.

I mean, you know,
physically, it's fantastic.

You know when you're
with somebody

And your bodies
just fit?

So...

How you doing?

Not so good.

I don't know
what went wrong.

Hey, Charlie!

It's a...it's
a relationship.

These things happen.

Don't get me wrong.

When we first met,

It was fantastic.

You know, but after
the chase was over,

It was like
he stopped caring.

I swear, he just spent
90% of the time

Sitting on the couch,

Aimlessly flipping
through channels.

No, no, no...

He totally took
me for granted.

He put no effort
into how he looked.

Or what he was wearing.

Or what he ate.

He just sat
on the couch.

Expected me to wait
on him hand and foot.

Joy! Jelly!

I have too much
self-respect

To be in
a long-term relationship

With somebody
who stops caring

And just refuses
to change.

Sometimes, you must
just wanna punch him

In his big,
fat face.

Hey, wow! You were
down there a long time.

Is Charlie okay?

He's all right.
All right.

Listen, I'm sorry I
wasn't down there to help,

But you know, you're so
much better than I am at that

And so...
Give me the skinny.

What happened?

Well, you know,
Charlie just realized

That Terence is selfish
and insensitive,

Disconnected...
you know what, honey?

This is only
a 20-second timeout,

So can you hit me
with the highlights?

He just stopped trying.
That's that.

Well, you know, maybe
Charlie knows what he's doing.

I mean, we're on this
earth for a very short time,

And maybe he
feels he can do better.

Yeah, that's what
I was thinking.

Am I in trouble?

I was talking
to your brother

And I realized you're a
whole lot like Terence.

Oh, honey, I am
nothing like Terence.

How are you
different from him?

Well, plug
my tv back in

And I'll show you
at halftime.

That's not what
I'm talking about.

I know. Good, 'cause it's
still light out anyway

And it's so...

You know, Charlie standing
up for himself inspired me.

We're gonna make a few
changes in this relationship.

Honey, now, look. That
doesn't make any sense.

I mean, we are
almost at the finish line.

All we gotta do is lean
forward a little bit

And we can just snap
that ribbon right now.

And the finish line,
that's death?

Yes. The big "d."

Babe, I don't want to be
one of those couples

That stops caring.

Why?

Not caring is great.

That's what keeps
marriages together.

I mean,
if we cared too much,

We would be out there
looking for something better.

And trust me,
we would find it.

And it would be
pretty good.

Here's what
we're gonna do.

From now on, we are
going to sit at the table

And connect
over dinner.

Oh, and that
stays off.

Well, you know,
just so you know,

Studies have shown
that no tv in the bedroom

Leads to more sex.

So, consider yourself
warned.

Morning.

Morning.

How you doing today?

Oh, so much better.

Glad to hear that.

I hear that,
you and Joy

Had quite the conversation
last night.

Oh, yeah. She's a wonderful listener.

Oh, is she?

Because with me, she just
did a whole lot of talking.

Really?
About what?

Oh, lots of things.

How everything I do is bad

And nothing I ever do
is good.

Wonder where she got
that idea.

Oprah?

No, you see, Oprah's on tv.

And I wasn't allowed to have my
tv on in my bedroom last night

Because of you.

Because of me?
Mm-hmm.

You see, apparently
I'm her Terence.

And you got her
all riled up

About how one day
we might turn into you two.

Oh, jeez!

I didn't mean
to do that.

But now that I think
about it,

You and Terence do have
a lot of similarities.

Well, you know
what they say...

You marry your brother.

Charlie, you're gonna
fix this.

You're gonna go up to Joy

And you're gonna tell her
that you were wrong,

And you're gonna do it
before dinner,

Because if I have to
talk to her

And choke down her pot roast
at the same time,

I swear to God,
someone's gonna die.

Listen, I'm doing you
a favor.

I'm gonna help
your marriage.

Being honest and open
is the best policy.

Oh, really? Really?
Being honest and open?

You know what, that's
a great idea, Charlie.

So I'm gonna be
honest and open.

You know what
I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna call grandma,

And I'm gonna tell her
you're gay.

Don't you dare.
Don't you dare!

That woman is as homophobic
as she is adorable.

You know what,

I liked Terence the minute
he walked through that door.

As a matter of fact,

I'm starting to see
his side of things.

You take that back,
you hear me?

You take that back.

No, no, not gonna
take it back.

Not gonna take it back.
You want to know why?

Because I think
he's pretty great.

And I would be dating him
myself if I was single.

And gay.

Which I'm not.

Well, you go ahead, you
think whatever you want.

But I'm right
about Terence,

And Joy is right
about you.

No, she's not.

As a matter of fact,
you're both dead wrong.

Typical. Always
blaming the women.

You're a man!

How are you enjoying
the pot roast?

It's perfect.

Joy, you have
outdone yourself,

And I appreciate
the effort.

By the way,
you look lovely tonight.

Well, thank you.
You do, too.

Thank you.

And I wasn't fishing.

What a shame Eddie
couldn't join us.

Not from where I'm sitting.

You enjoying
yourself over there?

I'm having a blast.

Remind me to never eat
in a chair again.

What's up, Stark family?

What's going on here?

Well, kenny, you can either
join me on the couch,

Or you can
throw on an ascot

And sit in
a straight-back chair

With lady chatterly
and my wife.

You know, I was in
the neighborhood,

So I just figured
I'd stop over,

But your family's
awkwardness

Seems to be
at an all-time high.

So I think,

I'm just gonna bounce.

Hey, Terence!

What are you doing here?

Hey, Eddie!

I'm here to apologize
to Charlie.

I've been a big jerk.

Charles!

Why? Wait, hold on,
hold on.

Terence, Terence,
he's not here.

What...what's
the matter?

He's right.

I should pay him
more attention.

I should give him
more compliments.

I should...I should put
a little more energy...

Bup bup bup bup bup
bup bup bup bup.

Listen, listen, you
have done nothing wrong.

Truly. I mean, if
anybody has to apologize,

It's him, okay?

So, let's get rid
of these,

Because nothing says
"I'm weak" like flowers.

No, no,
but he's right.

I have been distant
and cold and uncaring.

Terence,
you're awesome.

Come on, you just want
to eat on the couch

And watch
a game in peace.

You're like
a blond gay me.

And my brother is
like a gay male Joy.

And if blond gay me
apologizes to gay male Joy,

Then real straight me has to
apologize to real mad Joy,

And then it's gonna...
It's not gonna be good, Skipper.

But I miss him so much.

I know, I know.

And you know what, Terence,
he misses you, too.

And you guys, you're
gonna work it out.

But you see, we have to...
We have to hold strong

Because, you know,
women respect strength,

Especially my brother.

Terence.

What are you
doing here?

Charlie, I'll tell you
what he's doing here.

He came here to tell you
that...that your behavior

Is unacceptable,

And your expectations
of him are unreasonable.

And, yes, he would like
to stay together with you,

But in order
for that to happen,

You're gonna have to
accept him just as he is.

Right?

God, you look good.

Well played.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong,
you were right.

I can change.

See, Eddie, not all
men are like you.

I'm gonna make it
up to you.

Oh, silly putty.

I can't stay mad
at you.

Come on, choo-choo,
let's go.

Silly putty?

Hard to believe
he used to kick my ass.

So, this is nice.

Yes, it is nice.

It's a great way
for us to connect.

Yes, connecting is good.

Love the connecting.

So how was your day?

Good. Good. After
work I bought a rake.

Went to the hardware store
to pick one out

And couldn't find them.

Thought they were
out of them.

They moved the display.

I found 'em.

And bought one.

Maybe after
dinner, we'll,

Go in the garage
and look at it.

How was your day?

It was good, yeah.

Work was fine.

I had a little bit
of lunch with Susan.

And... I had
a tuna sandwich.

Wasn't really in
the mood for tuna.

But I didn't know
what else to order so...

I got it.

Cool.

Do you want to watch...
Yes!

Okay.
All right.

Yeah?
Yeah.

See, this is nice,
too, right?

You're gonna
watch Top Chef?

Yeah, I kinda want to.
All right.

You know what, I'm
gonna hop upstairs

And watch the game.

And then we'll meet
up for the news.

Enjoy it!

Okay, and if
I fall asleep,

I'll leave the remote
on my chest.

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