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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,149 --> 00:00:06,719 I'm leavin' on a jet plane 2 00:00:06,753 --> 00:00:11,556 I don't know when I'll be back again 3 00:00:11,591 --> 00:00:13,325 oh, babe 4 00:00:13,359 --> 00:00:14,126 [sighs] 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,660 You know I hate to go 6 00:00:16,495 --> 00:00:17,929 Johnny Unitas, you're never gonna get that much 7 00:00:17,963 --> 00:00:19,063 for that thing. 8 00:00:19,097 --> 00:00:22,000 I'm leaving on a jet plane 9 00:00:22,034 --> 00:00:23,334 [sighs] 10 00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:27,271 You're insulting me to my face, but I don't even care. 11 00:00:27,305 --> 00:00:30,440 How could I care about anything but those dimples? 12 00:00:30,474 --> 00:00:31,575 Much better. 13 00:00:31,609 --> 00:00:33,844 You know I hate to go 14 00:00:35,613 --> 00:00:37,681 So, your brother turned out to be a real [Bleep] 15 00:00:37,715 --> 00:00:39,182 Who could have seen that coming? 16 00:00:39,216 --> 00:00:40,684 Um, I believe I saw that coming. 17 00:00:40,718 --> 00:00:42,218 He arrived, and I believe I said, 18 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:44,387 and I quote, "he's a real [Bleep]" 19 00:00:44,422 --> 00:00:46,156 You all need to lose weight. 20 00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:47,858 He's got that Jaime Lannister "Game of Thrones" thing 21 00:00:47,892 --> 00:00:48,991 happening, am I right? 22 00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:50,960 - Is that the dwarf? - No. 23 00:00:50,994 --> 00:00:52,561 Hot blond one with the dragon? 24 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,029 - Can we move on? - Sorry. 25 00:00:54,064 --> 00:00:55,030 [Sighs deeply] 26 00:00:55,065 --> 00:00:56,531 I can't believe we're going home. 27 00:00:56,566 --> 00:00:57,599 Do we have to? 28 00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:59,368 Husband, let's go over the facts again 29 00:00:59,402 --> 00:01:01,503 to make sure that we're doing the right thing. 30 00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:04,239 Plus, it's smart to catch up those two Tim Allen fans 31 00:01:04,274 --> 00:01:05,807 who accidentally tuned in. 32 00:01:05,842 --> 00:01:07,009 Of course. 33 00:01:07,043 --> 00:01:09,144 We're barely on speaking terms with the Weavers. 34 00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:11,546 The community turned against me in favor of my brother, 35 00:01:11,581 --> 00:01:13,014 who convinced our 10-year-old genius 36 00:01:13,048 --> 00:01:15,083 to move to Boston so he can attend Harvard, 37 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,918 and then gave our teenage son a pill 38 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,920 to enable him to turn human. 39 00:01:19,755 --> 00:01:21,255 Where is it?! Where's my pill?! 40 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,556 I know you hid it, father. 41 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,891 I did. 42 00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:25,660 I will not allow my son to alter his genetic makeup 43 00:01:25,727 --> 00:01:27,194 and become human just for a teenage crush. 44 00:01:27,228 --> 00:01:29,196 Amber is not just a teenage crush! 45 00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:30,765 She's the love of my life! 46 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,365 [Sighs] - Goodness, Reggie Jackson. 47 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,268 Stop talking like you're in a Kate Hudson film. 48 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,535 Yes, and if you insist on it, 49 00:01:35,569 --> 00:01:37,304 at least start using "Fool's Gold" dialogue. 50 00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:39,206 Oh! My God! 51 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,407 - What? - Aah! 52 00:01:40,441 --> 00:01:41,541 Oh, it's all right. 53 00:01:41,575 --> 00:01:43,476 I was just... Under a little bit of stress. 54 00:01:43,544 --> 00:01:44,644 [Inhales deeply] 55 00:01:44,679 --> 00:01:46,413 - Ooh. My left arm is tingling. - [Gasps] 56 00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:48,648 My goodness, do you think that you... 57 00:01:48,682 --> 00:01:49,922 No, no, no, no, I'm... I'm fine. 58 00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:51,350 I am staying with Amber! 59 00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:53,119 Dick: And I am going to Harvard! 60 00:01:53,153 --> 00:01:54,386 Do you know how rare it is 61 00:01:54,454 --> 00:01:56,155 for someone my age to get into college? 62 00:01:56,189 --> 00:01:57,756 Here's the roster, alphabetically... 63 00:01:57,790 --> 00:01:59,691 Butkus, Dick; Howser, Doogie. 64 00:01:59,726 --> 00:02:01,460 That's it! So get on board! 65 00:02:01,495 --> 00:02:04,330 The only thing we are getting on board is our spaceship. 66 00:02:04,364 --> 00:02:06,265 [Door opens, closes] Pack up those boxes. We leave in eight hours. 67 00:02:06,299 --> 00:02:08,000 Hey, have you guys seen Max and Abby? 68 00:02:08,034 --> 00:02:09,468 Oh, so now you're talking to us? 69 00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:10,736 Oh, Jackie, not now. 70 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,690 They're not in their rooms, they're not anywhere, 71 00:02:12,705 --> 00:02:14,006 and they left a note... 72 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,109 "Ran away to outer space. We'll try to Skype around 8:00." 73 00:02:17,143 --> 00:02:18,376 Dick, where are your friends? 74 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:20,979 I'll never tell you! You can waterboard me, for all I care! 75 00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:22,648 Dick. They're in that box. 76 00:02:25,518 --> 00:02:27,385 Debbie: Guys. 77 00:02:28,219 --> 00:02:30,387 I mean, we had to try. 78 00:02:30,422 --> 00:02:32,189 They're going to outer space! 79 00:02:32,223 --> 00:02:33,958 It does sound like kind of fun. 80 00:02:33,992 --> 00:02:35,759 We could go for a long weekend. 81 00:02:35,793 --> 00:02:37,260 Nah, I got a thing Monday. 82 00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:38,995 83 00:02:39,029 --> 00:02:42,866 sync and corrections by bellows www.addic7ed.com 84 00:02:45,135 --> 00:02:47,671 And don't you go anywhere near that spaceship! 85 00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:49,773 God! 86 00:02:49,807 --> 00:02:52,509 I'm gonna miss saying things like that. 87 00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:54,845 I can't believe the Bird-Kersees are leaving. 88 00:02:54,879 --> 00:02:56,980 We had one little fight. So what? 89 00:02:57,014 --> 00:02:59,482 We're best friends. 90 00:02:59,516 --> 00:03:00,516 What are you doing? 91 00:03:04,221 --> 00:03:06,022 Got something you want to say to me about this, Deb? 92 00:03:06,056 --> 00:03:08,057 Why are you holding a used pregnancy test? 93 00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:09,558 Ugh! Marty, wash your hands. 94 00:03:09,593 --> 00:03:11,227 How could it happen, Deb? I don't understand. 95 00:03:11,261 --> 00:03:14,030 We've been so careful. We've been infrequent. 96 00:03:14,064 --> 00:03:16,032 We've been aggressively infrequent and... 97 00:03:16,066 --> 00:03:17,467 Wait. Wait. You don't think... 98 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,600 Marty, I'm not pregnant. 99 00:03:18,634 --> 00:03:20,402 Deb, I found this in our bathroom, okay? 100 00:03:20,436 --> 00:03:22,137 So if you're not pregnant, then who... 101 00:03:22,171 --> 00:03:23,372 [Exhales sharply] 102 00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:30,512 My father can't do this. 103 00:03:30,546 --> 00:03:31,713 I mean, if I want to become human, 104 00:03:31,747 --> 00:03:33,081 I should be allowed to become human. 105 00:03:33,116 --> 00:03:34,349 All right, let's slow down. 106 00:03:34,384 --> 00:03:36,718 Maybe this is a good opportunity to think about everything. 107 00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:38,253 You said you loved me, Amber. No backsies. 108 00:03:38,287 --> 00:03:39,586 There's no backsies on "I love you." 109 00:03:39,621 --> 00:03:40,587 No, no, no, no, no. 110 00:03:40,622 --> 00:03:41,688 Reggie, I do love you, 111 00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,824 and I'm very excited about you becoming human. 112 00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:45,926 It's a game changer. Total game changer. 113 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,761 I just think maybe you haven't thought this through. 114 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,763 I mean, before, you were a Zabvronian, you know? 115 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:53,300 And now... you're just gonna be another Asian guy. 116 00:03:53,335 --> 00:03:54,535 No, I'm going to work really hard 117 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:57,771 and excel at math and violin to distinguish myself. 118 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,640 Oh, my God! I'm not just going to be human! 119 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:00,841 I'm going to be Asian! 120 00:04:00,875 --> 00:04:01,875 [Gasps] 121 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:03,643 Does this mean I can't karaoke anymore? 122 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,611 It's a little on the nose. 123 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:06,946 And, plus, you don't even know where the pill is. 124 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,081 Ah, but I have a plan. 125 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,615 Dick. [Snaps fingers] 126 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,018 You wanted to see me, brother? 127 00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:13,886 As the youngest Zabvronian, 128 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,356 Dick was born with a heightened sense of smell. 129 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,590 You follow? 130 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,725 No, but this is the kind of stuff I'm gonna miss. 131 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,295 Dick, the pill was last inside this box. 132 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,996 Actually, I'm pretty busy applying for Harvard, so... 133 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,631 Ooh! [Sniffing] 134 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:27,399 Got it. 135 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,403 He'll find it. He's like a Ginger Lojack. 136 00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:40,645 Honey, we need to prioritize what we're taking home. 137 00:04:40,679 --> 00:04:42,012 We don't have enough room. 138 00:04:42,046 --> 00:04:44,181 Oh, but we have to take the toothpick statue 139 00:04:44,215 --> 00:04:46,449 you made of Marty Weaver when we first met them. 140 00:04:46,484 --> 00:04:48,285 And the critics thought we wouldn't ever last. 141 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:49,085 Hmm. 142 00:04:49,119 --> 00:04:51,087 Ohh! Look! 143 00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:53,523 It's the animated gingerbread man I used 144 00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:54,557 to terrorize the PTA lady 145 00:04:54,558 --> 00:04:56,359 when she wouldn't listen to Debbie Weaver. 146 00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:57,328 [High-pitched] Hey, guys! 147 00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:58,536 I'm surprised you didn't bust me out for the holidays. 148 00:04:58,562 --> 00:05:01,564 [Chuckling] Ohh! He's so creepy. 149 00:05:01,599 --> 00:05:03,633 - I know. - Can't leave without this guy. 150 00:05:03,668 --> 00:05:04,734 - Mm. - No! Get off me! 151 00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,269 No! Leave me alone! Not back in the box! 152 00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:07,636 Aah! [Muffled] I hate the box. 153 00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:09,305 And look! 154 00:05:09,339 --> 00:05:10,973 It's the puppet that Dick Butkus made 155 00:05:11,008 --> 00:05:13,742 of Marty Weaver for his first Halloween-ween. 156 00:05:13,811 --> 00:05:16,145 [As Marty] Hey, Deb! Deb! Fantasy football! 157 00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,479 Deb! Deb! 158 00:05:17,514 --> 00:05:18,747 [Both laugh] 159 00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:20,283 Ohh. 160 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,484 We're never going to see the Weavers again, are we? 161 00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:23,652 With the time change, 162 00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,720 they'll be dead by the time we back to Zabvron. 163 00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:29,356 [Sighs] I don't want to go, husband. 164 00:05:29,391 --> 00:05:31,292 I don't, either. 165 00:05:31,326 --> 00:05:33,027 But I lost the community. 166 00:05:33,061 --> 00:05:35,629 And our children are abandoning us one by one. 167 00:05:35,663 --> 00:05:39,199 But, Larry Bird... you don't understand the complexity of the situation. 168 00:05:39,234 --> 00:05:42,369 You're not dealing with what I'm dealing with. 169 00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:45,839 Of all the times to not have my best friend to talk to. 170 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:48,274 I wonder what she's doing right now. 171 00:05:52,246 --> 00:05:55,114 Max wouldn't just pee on that thing for fun, would he? 172 00:05:55,182 --> 00:05:57,851 He might, but it wouldn't be positive. 173 00:05:58,385 --> 00:05:59,352 Hey. What's up? 174 00:05:59,386 --> 00:06:00,906 - Are you pregnant? - Are you pregnant? 175 00:06:01,588 --> 00:06:04,090 Oh, my God. Yes. So pregnant. 176 00:06:04,124 --> 00:06:06,091 Amber, answer your father. 177 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,893 Father, I'm not pregnant. 178 00:06:07,928 --> 00:06:09,795 I know this because the furthest I've ever gone with a guy... 179 00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:11,497 Stop answering your father. Stop now. 180 00:06:11,531 --> 00:06:12,798 - All right, go to your room. All right. - I'll see you at dinner. 181 00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,700 Don't forget... make it hearty. I'm eating for two now. 182 00:06:14,768 --> 00:06:15,835 Go away, please. 183 00:06:15,869 --> 00:06:18,437 Aww. Your grandson kicked. 184 00:06:18,472 --> 00:06:21,039 She's a terrible person. Terrible person. 185 00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,942 So, wait a minute. Who is pregnant? 186 00:06:22,976 --> 00:06:25,910 This is what Dick was wearing when he said his first words. 187 00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:29,414 "I can change myself, woman. Hands off the merchandise." 188 00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,383 [Gasps] So many memories. 189 00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:35,386 Are you absolutely positive that we have to leave? 190 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:38,022 Do you want Reggie to become just another puny human 191 00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:39,390 destined for mortality? 192 00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:40,959 And what about Dick? 193 00:06:40,993 --> 00:06:44,028 Do you want him to become just another spoiled Harvard grad 194 00:06:44,062 --> 00:06:46,330 destined for the "Simpsons" writers' room? 195 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:47,331 I do. 196 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,733 Me too. His spec script was so good. 197 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:50,934 - Ohh. - Oh! 198 00:06:50,969 --> 00:06:53,471 - Husband? - No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 199 00:06:53,505 --> 00:06:56,173 Whew. At least my left arm is completely numb now. 200 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,041 Oh. 201 00:06:57,075 --> 00:06:58,109 [Inhales sharply] Oh! 202 00:06:58,143 --> 00:06:59,543 If you'll excuse me... Aah! 203 00:06:59,577 --> 00:07:02,279 I'm just gonna take a nap on the floor of the bathroom. 204 00:07:02,314 --> 00:07:03,381 Okay. 205 00:07:04,748 --> 00:07:05,815 [Inhales deeply] 206 00:07:05,849 --> 00:07:06,949 You're fine, Larry. 207 00:07:06,984 --> 00:07:09,285 Just keep it together till you get home. 208 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,622 Just eight more hours and a couple of light-years. 209 00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:15,958 Someone's in here! 210 00:07:15,992 --> 00:07:17,259 [Sniffing] 211 00:07:17,294 --> 00:07:18,360 Wait a second. 212 00:07:18,395 --> 00:07:19,629 [Sniffing] 213 00:07:19,663 --> 00:07:20,530 Dick. 214 00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:23,198 Don't freak out. 215 00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:25,066 [Sniffs deeply] 216 00:07:28,438 --> 00:07:29,337 Does this mean...? 217 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,173 You're the only one who knows, Dick. 218 00:07:34,743 --> 00:07:36,276 Daddy's pregnant. 219 00:07:44,878 --> 00:07:46,779 Oh, Dick. 220 00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,714 What am I going to do? 221 00:07:48,748 --> 00:07:51,317 I personally think this is very exciting news. 222 00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:53,386 You're going to be a great father. 223 00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:55,087 Third time's a charm, right? 224 00:07:55,121 --> 00:07:57,790 Thanks, Dick. That hurts and helps all at once. 225 00:07:57,824 --> 00:07:59,625 I can't tell your mother yet. 226 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,994 She wanted to have a baby here so badly. 227 00:08:02,028 --> 00:08:04,262 And the truth is, I did, too. 228 00:08:04,297 --> 00:08:07,332 But no Zabvronian has ever given birth in a human form. 229 00:08:07,366 --> 00:08:10,435 I mean, how do I know my baby would be safe? 230 00:08:10,469 --> 00:08:13,438 How do I hide my back bump from the humans? 231 00:08:13,472 --> 00:08:16,108 What hole would it come out of? 232 00:08:17,442 --> 00:08:19,377 Father, who are you more worried about... 233 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:20,544 The baby or yourself? 234 00:08:20,578 --> 00:08:21,645 Oh, definitely myself. 235 00:08:21,679 --> 00:08:23,847 I haven't gotten very attached to the baby yet. 236 00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,582 Sounds to me like you've gotten attached 237 00:08:25,617 --> 00:08:27,718 to a great deal of things around here. 238 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,621 What a wit on him. 239 00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:31,922 [Door closes] 240 00:08:31,956 --> 00:08:35,626 What a shame he'll never get to run the Harvard lampoon. 241 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:40,095 Oh. Hello. 242 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:41,897 Hi, Jackie. 243 00:08:41,932 --> 00:08:44,934 I know we're not speaking, but we really need to talk. 244 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,636 Oh, I'm so happy to hear you say that, Debbie Weaver, 245 00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:47,769 because you're my best friend. 246 00:08:47,804 --> 00:08:50,004 Jackie, we found this in our bathroom. 247 00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:52,006 Oh, it's beautiful! What is it? Can I hold it? 248 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,408 No, Jackie, it's a pregnancy test. 249 00:08:53,443 --> 00:08:55,377 You pee on it, and it tells you if you're pregnant. 250 00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,713 What does it tell you if you poop on it? The weather? 251 00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:58,947 Ha! Up high! 252 00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:00,482 Actually, no. Don't touch me. 253 00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:03,385 [Gasps] Wait a second. Debbie Weaver, are you... 254 00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,580 No, no, no, Jackie. It's not from anyone in our family. 255 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,628 And when I think of things that aren't in our family 256 00:09:07,656 --> 00:09:10,991 but are always in our house, I think of you guys. 257 00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:12,827 [Laughs] Don't be ridiculous. 258 00:09:12,861 --> 00:09:15,663 You know that the men in our species carry the babies. 259 00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:19,567 And if Larry Bird were pregnant, he'd be exhibiting symptoms. 260 00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:22,168 He'd be moody... 261 00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:26,906 Give my son the remote!! 262 00:09:26,974 --> 00:09:29,008 Depressed... 263 00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:30,509 I'm hideous. 264 00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,178 If I get any more bloated... 265 00:09:32,212 --> 00:09:34,246 "Something, something, Rush Limbaugh." 266 00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:37,249 He'd be having symptoms akin to your... heart attacks. 267 00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,686 I think someone must have left a hole in my cat bag. 268 00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:45,557 The cat's out... of... the bag. 269 00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:46,792 The cat bag. 270 00:09:46,826 --> 00:09:48,060 Anyways... 271 00:09:48,095 --> 00:09:49,028 Meow. 272 00:09:49,062 --> 00:09:50,695 - I'm pregnant. - [Gasps] 273 00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:53,731 Yes, you heard correctly, my darling, my love. 274 00:09:54,865 --> 00:09:57,033 I have a little baby bird nestling in my back. 275 00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,836 We're having a baby! Ohh! 276 00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:00,971 Oh, my God! [Laughs] 277 00:10:01,005 --> 00:10:03,039 We're gonna have a baby! 278 00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:04,674 I mean, no jumping! No jumping! 279 00:10:04,709 --> 00:10:06,577 Whoa. Ho. Wait. One... one s... 280 00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:09,346 What was the pregnancy test doing in our bathroom? 281 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:10,647 Well, I'm not gonna pee on my floor. 282 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:13,016 We're having a baby! Why am I still holding this? 283 00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:16,285 Oh, Marty! We can give them Abby's bassinet! 284 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,787 We can give them Abby for all I care! 285 00:10:17,822 --> 00:10:19,956 No one in our house is pregnant! This is the best day ever! 286 00:10:19,991 --> 00:10:22,025 [Sighs] - We have to go, don't we? 287 00:10:22,059 --> 00:10:24,427 Now I see why you were so insistent. 288 00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:25,194 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 289 00:10:25,229 --> 00:10:26,195 Don't think for a second 290 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,510 I'm gonna let you guys leave now. 291 00:10:27,531 --> 00:10:29,933 Oh, you don't understand, Debbie Weaver. 292 00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:32,234 Well, how is Larry Bird going to hide 293 00:10:32,268 --> 00:10:34,036 his adorable baby back bump? 294 00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,805 What hole will it even come out of? 295 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,540 Or will it make its own hole? 296 00:10:38,574 --> 00:10:39,441 Ugh! 297 00:10:39,475 --> 00:10:40,876 It's not just the baby. 298 00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:43,278 Everything is out of control. 299 00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:45,047 Jackie: Ohh. 300 00:10:46,716 --> 00:10:48,050 - You. - Unh-unh. 301 00:10:49,784 --> 00:10:50,751 - Me? - Y... you. You. 302 00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:52,085 Definitely you. 303 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,252 [Stomps feet] 304 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,220 Larry! 305 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,555 You're always saying, you know, 306 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:56,956 "I'm the supreme leader of this," 307 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,491 "I'm the supreme leader of that." 308 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,460 You know... lead! 309 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,295 [Theme from "Bridge over the river Kwai" plays] There'll always be 310 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:03,896 other Harvards and genetic-altering pills 311 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,732 and... scary male pregnancies 312 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,600 and DJ Jazzy Jeffs... 313 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,975 [Music distorts, slows] The things that have come 314 00:11:08,976 --> 00:11:10,878 out of my mouth this season... 315 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,265 Baby, stay on point. Stay on point. 316 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,071 Yeah. 317 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:14,473 [Music normalizes] Larry... 318 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,876 Going back to Zabvron isn't fixing your problems, okay? 319 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,310 It's running away from them. 320 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:23,047 You are a supreme leader. 321 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,684 If you lead, they will follow. 322 00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,218 I know we would. 323 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,621 'Cause that's what friends are for? 324 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:30,622 No. 325 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:34,191 No, because that's what family is. 326 00:11:34,225 --> 00:11:36,326 Get over here. 327 00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:39,697 You know, that's the first time we have hugged! 328 00:11:39,731 --> 00:11:41,365 Yes, I know. And I-I didn't like it. 329 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,767 And if you don't do that again, 330 00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:46,504 I shall go out and try and win back my community. 331 00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:47,505 [Squeals] 332 00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:49,573 Never feels good helping him. 333 00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:57,913 What the hell are you doing? 334 00:11:57,947 --> 00:11:59,147 Oh, hey. 335 00:11:59,182 --> 00:12:00,682 I figured my father maybe hid the pill in my room 336 00:12:00,717 --> 00:12:02,250 because he knew it'd be the last place I'd look. 337 00:12:02,284 --> 00:12:05,153 Reggie, I need you to hear me right now. 338 00:12:05,188 --> 00:12:07,222 I want you to see what it means to really be human. 339 00:12:07,256 --> 00:12:08,356 What's that? 340 00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:10,759 It's a book. It's called "Everyone poops." 341 00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:12,227 And it's... 342 00:12:12,261 --> 00:12:13,894 Accurate. Everyone poops. 343 00:12:13,929 --> 00:12:15,963 If you become human, you will, too. It's not great. 344 00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,264 Amber... 345 00:12:17,298 --> 00:12:20,234 Photographs of Asian men with male pattern baldness. 346 00:12:20,268 --> 00:12:23,170 Your hair is not human. It's going to become human. 347 00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:25,005 Can you handle knowing that? 348 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,208 Amber, I love you... 349 00:12:27,242 --> 00:12:28,876 This is a bloomin' onion. 350 00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:31,345 It's 2,200 calories. 351 00:12:31,379 --> 00:12:32,713 You will want to eat it. 352 00:12:32,748 --> 00:12:33,948 You will eat it. 353 00:12:33,982 --> 00:12:35,514 It will make you nauseous. 354 00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:36,649 Amber... 355 00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:38,918 And, eventually, after you eat enough of them 356 00:12:38,952 --> 00:12:41,154 and do a million other bad things to your body, 357 00:12:41,188 --> 00:12:42,355 you will die. 358 00:12:42,389 --> 00:12:45,391 You will be old and bald and weak 359 00:12:45,426 --> 00:12:47,226 and then... dead. 360 00:12:47,261 --> 00:12:50,263 And I need you to hear that... Really hear that... 361 00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:51,597 Because I don't know if I'm ready 362 00:12:51,631 --> 00:12:54,100 for you to take all that on just for me. 363 00:12:55,134 --> 00:12:56,634 I love you, Reggie. 364 00:12:57,203 --> 00:13:01,038 I might even love you too much to let you do this. 365 00:13:08,947 --> 00:13:11,014 Remember, everyone... Just the bare necessities. 366 00:13:11,049 --> 00:13:12,116 [Sighs] 367 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,351 Kevin, aren't you excited? 368 00:13:14,386 --> 00:13:15,952 [Grunts] - You're gonna be back to your old self again. 369 00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:17,788 And no one's gonna remember the joke we played 370 00:13:17,822 --> 00:13:19,502 when we said we were all coming as alpacas. 371 00:13:19,523 --> 00:13:20,456 [Grunts] 372 00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:22,292 Stop taunting Kevin, brother. 373 00:13:22,326 --> 00:13:24,995 This has gone far enough. 374 00:13:25,029 --> 00:13:28,431 Remember, you're like my Michelle Obama. 375 00:13:28,465 --> 00:13:30,666 Despite my dip, your ratings remain high 376 00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:32,936 because of your aspirational arms. 377 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:35,071 If this all goes wrong, jump in 378 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,540 and talk about child obesity or something. 379 00:13:37,674 --> 00:13:40,475 Brother, your time here has... 380 00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:41,543 That's right! 381 00:13:41,577 --> 00:13:42,811 You tell him, Lar! 382 00:13:43,245 --> 00:13:44,379 Sorry. 383 00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:46,215 We got... we jumped the gun just a little bit. 384 00:13:46,248 --> 00:13:47,549 Community! 385 00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:50,385 We were happy before he arrived, were we not? 386 00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:52,354 "Happy's" a strong word. 387 00:13:52,388 --> 00:13:55,123 Well, we were fond of this place... 388 00:13:55,157 --> 00:13:58,793 Of their iPhones and their Adam sandler comedies. 389 00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:00,347 - "Spanglish." - "Spanglish." - "Spanglish." 390 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,029 And their Starbucks. 391 00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,031 Actually, we've got a Starbucks on Zabvron now. 392 00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:05,365 Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! - Oooh! 393 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,499 Kareem: I was about to throw out my gift card! 394 00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,135 Let's get out of here! 395 00:14:08,169 --> 00:14:09,669 [Clears throat] 396 00:14:09,703 --> 00:14:12,505 [American voice] Our children are too fat. 397 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,707 The children are very fat. 398 00:14:14,742 --> 00:14:16,809 She really does have great arms, doesn't she? 399 00:14:16,844 --> 00:14:18,677 My fellow Zabvronians, 400 00:14:18,711 --> 00:14:22,581 I have made some mistakes since I've been here. 401 00:14:22,615 --> 00:14:25,050 But the one mistake I won't make 402 00:14:25,084 --> 00:14:27,485 is leaving this planet and leaving our friends 403 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,087 before our mission is over 404 00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:32,858 just because what we face is uncertain and a bit scary. 405 00:14:32,892 --> 00:14:33,926 [Grunts] 406 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,361 This isn't a command, but a request... 407 00:14:37,395 --> 00:14:38,930 stay with me. 408 00:14:38,964 --> 00:14:42,867 Continue our exploration of earth, 409 00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:45,836 continue growing our relationship with the weavers. 410 00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:48,905 For if we stand strong together, 411 00:14:48,939 --> 00:14:51,941 there's nothing that can break us apart! 412 00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:53,343 [Exhales deeply] 413 00:14:53,378 --> 00:14:55,712 And if that's not reason enough to stand with me... 414 00:14:55,746 --> 00:14:58,047 I'm having a baby! 415 00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,649 Aah! [Laughs] - I'm having a baby! 416 00:14:59,683 --> 00:15:02,251 - Go, Larry! Ah! Yeah! - I'm having a baby! 417 00:15:02,286 --> 00:15:03,486 I'm having a baby! 418 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,788 I'm... having... 419 00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,660 How will he hide his back bump? 420 00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:14,929 What hole will it even come out of? 421 00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:18,199 I think we should call this. The ship is sinking. 422 00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:19,467 DJ Jazzy Jeff: All right, I'm gonna go ahead 423 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,535 and call pre-boarding for all Zabvronians 424 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,970 with elite status. 425 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:25,573 Ah... Oh. No, wait. 426 00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:28,442 That's... - [Chuckling] That's only me. 427 00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:30,311 Suck it, coach trash. 428 00:15:32,114 --> 00:15:33,380 [Grunts] 429 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:35,781 [Indistinct conversations] 430 00:15:35,816 --> 00:15:37,150 And remember... 431 00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:42,322 Calisthenics are good for both mind and body. 432 00:15:42,356 --> 00:15:43,590 Screw it. [Clears throat] 433 00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,593 Well, that's not good. 434 00:15:57,341 --> 00:15:58,874 Kareem, you'd really leave me 435 00:15:58,909 --> 00:16:00,743 after everything we've been through? 436 00:16:00,777 --> 00:16:02,579 I mean, they have a Starbucks now, so... 437 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:03,379 But... 438 00:16:03,414 --> 00:16:04,880 [Exhales sharply] 439 00:16:04,915 --> 00:16:06,616 [Sighs] 440 00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:08,850 There was a month where I wanted you. 441 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:09,618 Mm... 442 00:16:11,087 --> 00:16:13,121 Mary Lou Retton! 443 00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:15,056 Me too. 444 00:16:15,091 --> 00:16:16,325 Mm... 445 00:16:18,828 --> 00:16:20,529 Surely, not you, too, Johnny U? 446 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,131 It's just... I already made all the shirts. 447 00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:31,371 Father wants a word. 448 00:16:33,707 --> 00:16:34,841 [Beep] - Hi, daddy. 449 00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:37,744 Your brother tells me you're with child? 450 00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:38,711 Mm, I am. 451 00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:40,413 And you're going to stay there? 452 00:16:40,448 --> 00:16:43,150 What hole will the baby even come out of? 453 00:16:43,184 --> 00:16:45,818 Everyone, stop talking about the hole! 454 00:16:45,853 --> 00:16:46,886 God! 455 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,688 Son, we will likely never speak again. 456 00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:52,724 You are a total embarrassment 457 00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:54,860 and an abject failure. 458 00:16:54,894 --> 00:16:56,061 But despite that... 459 00:16:56,095 --> 00:16:57,163 [Tablet chimes] 460 00:16:57,197 --> 00:17:00,432 Oh, crap. I have another call. 461 00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:01,467 Bye. 462 00:17:05,972 --> 00:17:07,072 Last chance. 463 00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:10,175 [Sighs] 464 00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,177 All right. 465 00:17:12,211 --> 00:17:14,345 Goodbye forever. 466 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:17,983 [John Denver's "Leaving on a jet plane" plays] 467 00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:21,153 [Engines roaring] 468 00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:30,060 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane 469 00:17:30,095 --> 00:17:33,696 don't know when I'll be back again 470 00:17:35,332 --> 00:17:40,103 oh, babe, I hate to go 471 00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,504 [leaves rustling] 472 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:47,110 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane 473 00:17:47,144 --> 00:17:50,446 don't know when I'll be back again 474 00:17:52,348 --> 00:17:57,752 oh, babe, I hate to go 475 00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:04,192 [sighs] 476 00:18:04,227 --> 00:18:07,229 I don't know what to do now. 477 00:18:07,297 --> 00:18:11,400 I just don't know what's next. 478 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,736 Dick, if you want Harvard, you should go to Harvard. 479 00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:16,669 I won't stop you. 480 00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:19,572 Reggie... 481 00:18:19,607 --> 00:18:21,641 If you want to be human, I won't stop you, either. 482 00:18:23,076 --> 00:18:24,377 I'm all out of answers. 483 00:18:24,445 --> 00:18:25,445 Enough. 484 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,948 But I... - I said "enough." 485 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,251 Larry Bird, I have never doubted you 486 00:18:31,285 --> 00:18:33,753 on this mission... Not once. 487 00:18:33,787 --> 00:18:35,921 You said "name yourself Jackie Joyner-Kersee." 488 00:18:35,956 --> 00:18:36,956 You'll fit right in." 489 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,057 I did it. 490 00:18:38,091 --> 00:18:39,591 "New Jersey is the garden state," you said. 491 00:18:39,626 --> 00:18:41,160 "It will be beautiful." I listened. 492 00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:43,962 It's a great pep talk, but do you have a point? 493 00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:46,097 My point, husband, 494 00:18:46,131 --> 00:18:48,734 is that you are wrong a great deal of the time. 495 00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:50,802 But if there's one thing I can count on, 496 00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:53,238 it's that you will be confident and doubtless 497 00:18:53,272 --> 00:18:55,974 even when you are completely clueless. 498 00:18:56,008 --> 00:18:58,810 It's what I love most about you, Larry Bird. 499 00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,411 Well, that's kind of depressing, isn't it? 500 00:19:00,445 --> 00:19:01,979 - Shh! - Shh! - Shh! - Shh! 501 00:19:02,513 --> 00:19:05,382 We were surrounded by our brethren for a decade. 502 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:08,718 There was safety in that, but... we're all alone now. 503 00:19:08,753 --> 00:19:09,953 Not entirely. 504 00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,654 Hey, you won't be getting rid of us any time soon. 505 00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:13,257 Uh-huh. The Weavers aren't going anywhere. 506 00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:14,524 Got nowhere to go. 507 00:19:14,558 --> 00:19:16,493 We couldn't move if we wanted to. Couldn't afford it. 508 00:19:16,527 --> 00:19:17,694 Adjustable interest rates! 509 00:19:17,728 --> 00:19:19,596 Look like we're gonna be stuck in our townhome 510 00:19:19,630 --> 00:19:20,864 till the day we die. 511 00:19:20,899 --> 00:19:22,399 [Chuckling] Okay, okay. Well, you guys... get it. 512 00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:24,300 You know what? Screw Harvard. 513 00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:27,470 Zuckerberg didn't need them. Neither does the Butkus. 514 00:19:27,505 --> 00:19:28,971 I stand with you, father. 515 00:19:29,006 --> 00:19:31,140 [The Fray's "Love don't die" plays] 516 00:19:36,881 --> 00:19:40,884 I would go bald and poop for you, Amber, in a heartbeat. 517 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,919 But there's only four of us left on this entire planet, 518 00:19:42,953 --> 00:19:46,522 and we can't afford to lose any more Zabvronians. 519 00:19:47,556 --> 00:19:48,523 Not today. 520 00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:53,528 So... I won't lie to you. 521 00:19:53,562 --> 00:19:55,964 I don't know what things are going to look like this time next year, 522 00:19:55,998 --> 00:19:58,099 but I know we're going to make it. 523 00:19:58,134 --> 00:20:01,403 I can't see the path yet, but it's there. 524 00:20:01,437 --> 00:20:03,171 - Wednesdays? - You never know. 525 00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:04,672 I've heard whispers about ABC Family? 526 00:20:04,706 --> 00:20:06,340 - Oh, screw that. - Ooh! 527 00:20:06,374 --> 00:20:09,677 Every step along the way, they've counted us out. 528 00:20:09,711 --> 00:20:12,447 No one thought we would last this long, 529 00:20:12,481 --> 00:20:14,615 and we did. 530 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:18,486 And so help me, we'll do it again. 531 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,087 Love don't die 532 00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:22,657 no matter where we go 533 00:20:22,691 --> 00:20:25,860 we can rebuild this community. 534 00:20:25,894 --> 00:20:28,495 We just need to stick together! 535 00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:31,731 There's nothing coming that we can't handle 536 00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:35,069 on this or any other planet. 537 00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:37,304 Love don't die 538 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:47,347 Here come the humans. 539 00:20:56,684 --> 00:20:58,985 Well, here we are. 540 00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:01,019 [Sighs] 541 00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:03,488 Honey, I was worried I was gonna have buyer's remorse, 542 00:21:03,556 --> 00:21:06,858 but I love it more every time I see it. 543 00:21:06,925 --> 00:21:08,626 Well, it's all yours, baby. 544 00:21:12,732 --> 00:21:15,099 Oh. I wonder - what the neighbors are like. 545 00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:16,934 Oh, please make them normal. 546 00:21:18,637 --> 00:21:20,772 Oh, crap. 547 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:25,372 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39516

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