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1
00:00:03,257 --> 00:00:04,424
Late for work! Late for work!
Kisses. Mwah!
2
00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:06,059
Man hug! All right!
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,444
- Kiss or man hug?
- Guess.
4
00:00:07,478 --> 00:00:09,913
Ooh! Correct.
Coffee breath.
5
00:00:09,964 --> 00:00:11,097
Oh! Phone, phone, phone.
6
00:00:11,766 --> 00:00:13,833
Nice! We are a machine.
7
00:00:13,868 --> 00:00:15,769
I love this stupid family!
8
00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:17,354
All: Weavers!
9
00:00:17,405 --> 00:00:20,573
Ignoring you only because
you repeatedly asked me to.
10
00:00:20,607 --> 00:00:22,909
[ Door opens, closes ] Hey.
11
00:00:22,943 --> 00:00:24,828
I need to talk to mom.
12
00:00:24,862 --> 00:00:26,279
- But...
- Now.
13
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:30,466
Sit down.
14
00:00:30,517 --> 00:00:32,084
What did I do?
15
00:00:32,102 --> 00:00:34,737
I haven't talked to you
about any bands
16
00:00:34,788 --> 00:00:37,073
and I don't tweet at you anymore
or retweet.
17
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,225
I don't like you,
even though I love you.
18
00:00:39,259 --> 00:00:40,743
- You're not in trouble.
- Oh.
19
00:00:40,777 --> 00:00:42,595
But you can't tell dad
because he'd freak.
20
00:00:42,629 --> 00:00:44,613
Something interesting
has happened.
21
00:00:45,148 --> 00:00:47,416
Nothing bad, but I feel the need
to talk about it.
22
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:49,818
Sort of like...
Girl talk.
23
00:00:49,869 --> 00:00:52,237
Ooh! [ Laughs ]
I love that!
24
00:00:52,272 --> 00:00:54,790
I'm a girl!
Stop doing that.
25
00:00:54,824 --> 00:00:57,092
Jackie!
26
00:00:57,126 --> 00:00:58,844
[ Panting ] I have a secret!
27
00:00:58,878 --> 00:00:59,912
I have a secret!
28
00:00:59,946 --> 00:01:01,613
Did you just run over
from next door?
29
00:01:01,648 --> 00:01:02,714
Mm-hmm.
30
00:01:02,749 --> 00:01:04,366
Oh, you really need to do
some more cardio.
31
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,017
[ Blows ]
32
00:01:06,535 --> 00:01:07,752
Amber's dating a new boy.
33
00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:09,854
His name is Zak.
He's a college boy.
34
00:01:09,888 --> 00:01:12,290
I know I should be freaked out,
he's a college boy and all...
35
00:01:12,324 --> 00:01:14,976
But you know if you just walked
around the block once a day,
36
00:01:15,027 --> 00:01:17,045
it would really help with...
But you know what?
37
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:19,080
Amber's always been
way beyond her years.
38
00:01:19,131 --> 00:01:20,815
- And screw it! She confided in me!
- Oh!
39
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:22,867
No agenda, just some girl talk.
40
00:01:22,901 --> 00:01:24,886
DJ Jazzy Jeff:
Did someone say girl talk?
41
00:01:24,937 --> 00:01:26,738
I could get me some of that.
42
00:01:26,805 --> 00:01:27,956
[ Pants ]
43
00:01:28,507 --> 00:01:31,225
Jackie, are you shooting
a soap opera?
44
00:01:31,260 --> 00:01:33,127
Oh, of course!
You two haven't met.
45
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,263
This is my brother-in-law,
DJ Jazzy Jeff.
46
00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:36,314
Oh.
47
00:01:36,348 --> 00:01:37,615
DJ Jazzy Je...
48
00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:39,083
[ Smooches ] Jeff.
49
00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:41,786
I thought you guys took the
names of professional athletes,
50
00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:43,354
like Dick Butkus, Larry Bird...
51
00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:46,806
Yes, well, it's, uh...
Totally embarrassing.
52
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:48,525
In my research, I came across
53
00:01:48,559 --> 00:01:50,760
a celebrity softball match
on MTV.
54
00:01:50,795 --> 00:01:52,562
DJ Jazzy Jeff hit a home run.
55
00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:54,697
I was packing,
half concentrating.
56
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:55,999
Anyway...
57
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,284
Debbie... Weaver.
58
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,719
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
That's me.
59
00:01:59,754 --> 00:02:02,405
[ Sniffs deeply ]
60
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,957
Jackie, you weren't kidding.
61
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,542
She's a peach.
62
00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:06,943
I think I dropped my jaw
somewhere.
63
00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:08,945
Oh, my God.
Just...
64
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,663
Isn't he wonderful?
65
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,732
I have missed you,
brother-in-law.
66
00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:13,900
You, too,
sister-in-law.
67
00:02:13,951 --> 00:02:15,835
Oh, get a room.
It'll last longer.
68
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,604
Good morning, brother!
Suck cheese.
69
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,855
Come on, we were just...
70
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,090
Was it "suck" or "cheese"?
71
00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:22,084
Which part of "suck cheese"
didn't you understand?
72
00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:23,542
I'm going out!
73
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,577
[ Sighs ]
74
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,078
[ Door opens, closes ]
75
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,930
We've got some
unresolved issues.
76
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,381
Yeah. Is he okay?
77
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,750
Where does he go every day?
78
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,654
My life is in chaos.
Chaos!
79
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,890
That Weaver woman
is constantly bursting in,
80
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:40,810
chatting up my wife, who
suddenly wants another child.
81
00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:43,379
The two teenagers
are in this ridiculous
82
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,397
interspecies love quadrangle.
83
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,317
And I know my father has sent
my brother to check up on me
84
00:02:48,351 --> 00:02:51,020
and to get my community
to move back home.
85
00:02:51,454 --> 00:02:52,554
[ Sighs ]
86
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,656
You guys have a lot going on.
87
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:56,124
Oh, we're really going for it.
88
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:57,175
We're all in.
89
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:59,861
We're leaving nothing
on the table.
90
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,863
91
00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:04,866
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
92
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:05,934
As you all know,
93
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,120
my good-for-nothing
younger brother
94
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,706
has arrived from Zabvron
to check up on us
95
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,125
under the guise
of a family visitation.
96
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:14,493
But we all know why he's here.
97
00:03:14,544 --> 00:03:15,911
We're not fooled by his act.
98
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:16,828
Are there any questions?
99
00:03:16,879 --> 00:03:18,163
Johnny Unitas.
100
00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,631
Your brother seems cool.
101
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,483
That's not true,
and it's not a question.
102
00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:23,051
High pants.
103
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:24,870
I like the way he looks.
104
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:27,122
That's irrelevant, strange,
and also not a question.
105
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,373
Mary Lou Retton.
106
00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,208
Is he single?
107
00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:31,760
Okay, yes, that was a question.
108
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,094
But it was a moronic one.
109
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,329
All: [ Groan ]
110
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,331
I implore you,
be on your best behavior.
111
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,966
Let's keep things high and tight
112
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,801
so he has nothing
to report back.
113
00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:42,888
To who?
To father?
114
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:45,507
My fellow Zabvronians,
115
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:49,945
I have no desire to report
anything back to my father.
116
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,731
I'm just here to see my family.
117
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:53,982
And, time permitting,
118
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,117
"August: Osage county."
119
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,486
[ Giggles ]
120
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,204
Jude Law called.
He wants his face back.
121
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:02,824
[ Sighs ]
122
00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:05,544
I mean, it's not like
I'm over Reggie,
123
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,912
but there's
something about zak.
124
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:08,246
There's a maturity there.
125
00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,965
It's like I don't have to
explain everything to him,
126
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:10,999
you know?
127
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,200
That is great, hon.
128
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,236
Now, do you think
that's because he's in college
129
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:15,837
or he's actually a human being?
130
00:04:15,871 --> 00:04:17,222
It's possible...
131
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:21,059
Hey, guys. I took off work
a little early.
132
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:22,978
Am I interrupting something?
133
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:25,413
- Not at all.
- No.
134
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:26,998
Okay.
135
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,267
Thank you for the help
with the homework, mom.
136
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,902
Uh, you're welcome.
137
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,940
Would you like me to help you
with more homework upstairs?
138
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,741
- I think that would be helpful.
- Yeah.
139
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,110
What?
You don't have any books?
140
00:04:39,161 --> 00:04:40,862
Just studying...
Gonna keep going, huh?
141
00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:43,081
Okay. All right.
142
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:45,617
I didn't like that.
143
00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:47,369
Oh, it's crazy, I know.
144
00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:50,005
But suddenly it's
all I can think about.
145
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,591
Another baby.
How exciting!
146
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,809
What would you want...
A boy or a girl?
147
00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:56,745
- Both!
- You can get that here?
148
00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:58,463
Yes. I think it's called
a David Bowie.
149
00:04:58,514 --> 00:04:59,648
Ohh.
150
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:00,882
Well, I've got to run.
151
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,100
I promised Reggie
I'd pick him up after debate.
152
00:05:02,151 --> 00:05:03,068
Ohh.
153
00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,502
Ooh!
I think I'd want...
154
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,188
A girl!
You want a girl.
155
00:05:07,222 --> 00:05:09,057
Yes.
156
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,426
Jackie Joyner Jr.
157
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:12,660
Oy-vey.
158
00:05:16,331 --> 00:05:18,065
Oy-vey.
159
00:05:18,099 --> 00:05:20,217
Hello, nephew.
160
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:22,203
Nice to see after so many years
on this planet
161
00:05:22,237 --> 00:05:23,587
you've held onto your yiddish.
162
00:05:23,622 --> 00:05:26,724
Fourth grade is killing me,
Uncle, just killing me.
163
00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,359
I'm so bored.
164
00:05:28,393 --> 00:05:30,711
Hmm. School wasn't
my favorite, either.
165
00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:33,163
I'm kind of like a mini you,
aren't I?
166
00:05:33,214 --> 00:05:34,297
Very much so.
167
00:05:34,349 --> 00:05:37,117
But you've also got to be better
than me, Dick.
168
00:05:37,151 --> 00:05:40,854
If it's too easy for you,
challenge yourself, okay?
169
00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:43,223
My God! It's like
looking in a mirror.
170
00:05:47,895 --> 00:05:50,197
Come on, people!
Back to work!
171
00:05:50,231 --> 00:05:51,748
- Look lively.
DJ Jazzy Jeff: Brother.
172
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:54,368
I'm gonna go pick up
my nephew from school.
173
00:05:54,402 --> 00:05:55,435
You want shotgun?
174
00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:56,803
Yes, I want a shotgun...
175
00:05:56,837 --> 00:05:58,739
And a crossbow
and a polo mallet.
176
00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:00,357
Right.
177
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:02,509
Well, you know what they say.
178
00:06:02,543 --> 00:06:06,396
If you can't beat them,
look great in a scarf.
179
00:06:06,447 --> 00:06:08,732
Man: Hey, bro!
Woman: Hey, jazzy!
180
00:06:08,783 --> 00:06:09,783
Looking good, DJ
181
00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:10,967
he seems real cool.
182
00:06:11,002 --> 00:06:13,303
He's not cool!
Don't fall for it.
183
00:06:13,337 --> 00:06:15,839
Yeah, stack money
184
00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:18,725
watch me, watch me
get busy, busy
185
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,728
yo, travel 'round the world
looking busy, busy
186
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,264
stackin' money, stackin' chips
all around the globe
187
00:06:24,298 --> 00:06:25,816
boy, you're filthy
188
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:27,150
I got what you want
189
00:06:27,185 --> 00:06:29,653
boy, you're filthy
190
00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:32,806
maybe he's a little cool.
191
00:06:41,547 --> 00:06:42,613
Thanks again for stopping by.
192
00:06:42,631 --> 00:06:46,568
What can I say?
I had an Amber craving.
193
00:06:46,602 --> 00:06:50,655
Well, that sounded kind of
creepy and weird.
194
00:06:50,689 --> 00:06:51,840
Mm-hmm.
195
00:06:51,874 --> 00:06:55,210
Wow! I must be the weirdest guy
you've ever dated.
196
00:06:55,261 --> 00:06:57,679
Thanks for the ride,
Uncle DJ Jazzy Jeff.
197
00:06:57,713 --> 00:06:58,847
Actually...
198
00:06:58,881 --> 00:07:01,399
Hey, Reggie!
Hey, Jane.
199
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:04,252
This is my... Zak.
200
00:07:05,486 --> 00:07:07,054
Please, call me Zak.
201
00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:09,206
Only my grandmother
calls me "my Zak."
202
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,357
I was just going!
203
00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:12,742
I stopped by because I had
an Amber craving.
204
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,680
Jane: Oh, well, I should
probably get going, too.
205
00:07:24,004 --> 00:07:24,937
Okay!
206
00:07:24,971 --> 00:07:26,822
Well, I'm going to exit
uncomfortably
207
00:07:26,857 --> 00:07:29,208
and replay that weird
moment in my head
208
00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,793
just a few thousand times.
209
00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:32,928
Oh, I'm an expert at that.
I can give you some tips.
210
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,450
I see Jane is developing
some sarcasm.
211
00:07:37,501 --> 00:07:39,635
She's been taking
night classes, yes.
212
00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:43,906
So, zak's much Tom Cruise-ier
than I imagined be.
213
00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:44,990
Shut up.
214
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:46,575
No! Congrats.
He's very pretty.
215
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,661
I'm going right out
to buy his action figure.
216
00:07:48,695 --> 00:07:49,895
You're an ass.
217
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,464
[ Chuckles ]
218
00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:56,302
Okay, I should probably go.
219
00:07:56,336 --> 00:07:58,170
Okay.
220
00:07:58,205 --> 00:08:00,606
Okay.
221
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,125
Okay.
222
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:06,462
[ Clears throat ] Romeo.
223
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,297
What was that?
224
00:08:09,315 --> 00:08:12,233
That's...
That is... I...
225
00:08:12,268 --> 00:08:13,401
I don't know.
226
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:15,954
Jane is your Zabvronian
soul mate, yes?
227
00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:18,556
The one with whom the cosmos
paired you?
228
00:08:18,590 --> 00:08:20,408
Yes, we've been linked since
birth. Our hearts beat as o...
229
00:08:20,426 --> 00:08:21,787
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know the drill.
230
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,394
And Amber is your...
231
00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:26,396
Amber.
232
00:08:26,447 --> 00:08:30,867
Much as I'd like to try and
convince myself otherwise,
233
00:08:30,902 --> 00:08:32,286
she's my Amber.
234
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,020
Ah.
235
00:08:34,038 --> 00:08:35,372
We're from different worlds,
though.
236
00:08:35,406 --> 00:08:37,624
I mean, if she was Zabvronian
or if I was human...
237
00:08:37,659 --> 00:08:38,659
I know what you're gonna say,
238
00:08:38,693 --> 00:08:39,760
that I should throw caution
to the wind.
239
00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:41,912
Oh, nephew,
I've spent my entire life
240
00:08:41,963 --> 00:08:44,114
throwing caution
to that damned wind.
241
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,666
And that's what makes you
so cool.
242
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:46,833
I'm a failure.
243
00:08:46,868 --> 00:08:50,470
I'm the laughingstock,
pretty boy of the family.
244
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,105
Jane is your soul mate.
245
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:55,391
You made a commitment to her
before you were born.
246
00:08:55,425 --> 00:08:56,776
Don't mess it up.
247
00:08:56,810 --> 00:08:58,361
Or you'll end up like me.
248
00:08:58,395 --> 00:09:01,364
And trust me, it's not half
as cool as it looks.
249
00:09:01,398 --> 00:09:04,150
[ Panting ] I found a pen.
250
00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:05,968
[ Sighs ]
251
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,703
[ Chuckles ]
252
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:08,854
[ Breathing heavily ]
253
00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:11,524
Don't let this undermine
what I was just saying.
254
00:09:11,558 --> 00:09:12,792
[ Chuckles ]
255
00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:18,497
[ Insects chirping ]
256
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:20,982
Hey, babe.
257
00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:23,051
- Want a little wine?
- No, thanks.
258
00:09:23,102 --> 00:09:24,352
- You want a lot of wine?
- No, thanks.
259
00:09:24,387 --> 00:09:26,121
I'm good.
260
00:09:26,572 --> 00:09:29,007
So, I've been trying to get you
alone all day.
261
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:31,292
What's going on with Amber?
262
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:33,561
Ohh.
263
00:09:33,795 --> 00:09:35,630
Marty, I promised.
264
00:09:35,664 --> 00:09:37,448
What? You had to promise
her not to tell me?
265
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:38,399
I did.
266
00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:39,634
Well, it'd be a lot easier
267
00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,002
for you to tell me your secrets
268
00:09:41,036 --> 00:09:42,470
with a little bit
of wine in you.
269
00:09:42,504 --> 00:09:43,621
Come on.
270
00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:45,973
Marty, she's confiding in
me for the first time.
271
00:09:46,008 --> 00:09:47,308
Just let me have one more day.
272
00:09:47,359 --> 00:09:49,076
Then we'll all sit down
and talk about it.
273
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:51,279
It's sit-down bad?
274
00:09:51,313 --> 00:09:52,847
No, no!
275
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:54,699
In the grand scheme of
things, it is not that bad.
276
00:09:54,733 --> 00:09:56,217
If it was bad,
I would tell you.
277
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:58,319
Just give me another day.
278
00:09:58,370 --> 00:10:00,955
Drink the wine. Here.
Just smell... smell it.
279
00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:03,247
You love this. It's your favorite.
I don't want any wine!
280
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:08,195
Hey, hey, J.J.K,
what do you say?
281
00:10:08,246 --> 00:10:10,547
Oh, your brother and I
stayed up last night
282
00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:12,399
looking through
the boys' baby albums.
283
00:10:12,433 --> 00:10:15,168
Look! Look!
It's dick's first handprint.
284
00:10:15,219 --> 00:10:16,553
Oh, God.
285
00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:17,920
We've talked about this.
286
00:10:17,938 --> 00:10:20,023
My brother can provoke chaos
all he wants,
287
00:10:20,057 --> 00:10:22,158
but we're in no position
to have another...
288
00:10:22,176 --> 00:10:24,127
I know, DJ Jazzy Jeff
helped me realize
289
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,863
that this family is in no
position to have another baby.
290
00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,565
Well, that's just because
he's not the one to raise it
291
00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:31,384
or de-bone it or...
Wait. I'm sorry. What?
292
00:10:33,954 --> 00:10:35,004
Butkus.
293
00:10:35,022 --> 00:10:37,089
Bird.
What are you doing?
294
00:10:37,124 --> 00:10:39,141
Oh, just powering through yet
another mind-numbing essay.
295
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:41,277
I know it's rough,
but it's important.
296
00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:42,662
I know.
Uncle spoke to me.
297
00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:44,430
He did?
Forget everything he told you.
298
00:10:44,464 --> 00:10:46,849
He told me that if the work
isn't challenging enough,
299
00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:49,718
then it's my job
to find the challenge.
300
00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:51,403
Like when I de-boned
myself!
301
00:10:51,437 --> 00:10:53,538
Oh.
Where are you going?
302
00:10:53,589 --> 00:10:56,624
Just delivering a little gift
for the love of my life.
303
00:10:56,642 --> 00:10:58,360
[ Rattles ] My baby teeth.
304
00:10:58,394 --> 00:10:59,661
Enough with Amber!
305
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:00,746
You have a soul mate!
306
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,614
I know.
Uncle said the same thing.
307
00:11:02,665 --> 00:11:03,782
This is for Jane, father.
308
00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:07,836
What the hell
is my brother up to?
309
00:11:07,870 --> 00:11:10,355
Getting everyone to do
exactly as I wish.
310
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:11,890
Huh. That's it.
311
00:11:11,924 --> 00:11:14,810
I'm gonna have to bring in
the big guns.
312
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,095
Jazzy Jeff,
313
00:11:17,129 --> 00:11:20,314
Larry has been having a lot
of feelings since you arrived,
314
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:23,334
and it might be helpful for him
to express them
315
00:11:23,368 --> 00:11:25,369
in a safe adult setting.
316
00:11:25,421 --> 00:11:26,921
- Okay.
- Larry?
317
00:11:30,375 --> 00:11:31,123
Pbhhhhhhht!
318
00:11:39,518 --> 00:11:41,135
And, so, that was Larry.
319
00:11:41,153 --> 00:11:42,453
He's always had a
way with words.
320
00:11:42,504 --> 00:11:44,522
What color are your eyes?
321
00:11:44,556 --> 00:11:45,573
Focus. Focus!
322
00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:49,893
Brother, I don't know why
you hate me so much.
323
00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:51,261
I know father sent you.
324
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,629
I know you're here
to convince our community
325
00:11:52,663 --> 00:11:53,930
to come home with you.
326
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,949
Your whole act is a lie.
327
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:59,002
"Everyone love me.
Everyone fall in love with me."
328
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:01,137
You're completely full
of a word
329
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,548
that I would never be allowed
to say on national television.
330
00:12:05,593 --> 00:12:08,928
[ Sighs ] People have
always like me. It's true.
331
00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:11,581
And I won't lie... I've always
had a way with the ladies.
332
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,716
[ Giggles ] You really do!
333
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,935
Pull yourself together,
Dr. Hartley, please.
334
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:19,488
But the only person
I've ever wanted to like me
335
00:12:19,522 --> 00:12:21,323
never has.
[ Shudders ]
336
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,391
Brother.
337
00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:25,060
All right.
I'll admit it.
338
00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:26,946
I've done some things
in the past
339
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,848
that maybe would make you
not want to trust me.
340
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,016
[ Scoffs ]
341
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:33,903
But I've come all this way
to make amends.
342
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:35,721
I've grown up!
343
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,206
But what else can I say?
344
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,391
Except I love you.
345
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,776
[ Sighs ]
346
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,779
And I only hope that one day
you'll say the same.
347
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,070
W-wait. Um...
348
00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:54,205
I'm not apologizing
or anything,
349
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,124
but it has to be said
that I have been under
350
00:12:56,158 --> 00:12:57,875
a tremendous amount
of pressure lately.
351
00:12:57,893 --> 00:12:59,344
I know.
352
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:01,496
And you wouldn't believe how
much this witch is charging me
353
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,614
to sit there
staring in judgment.
354
00:13:03,632 --> 00:13:05,249
I know. Sorry.
355
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:06,701
If...
And this is only an "if"...
356
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:09,604
I have been behaving
like a neurotic fool,
357
00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:12,507
do you think
you could ever forgive me?
358
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,527
- Don't you know, brother?
- I already have.
359
00:13:19,181 --> 00:13:22,067
Oh, there, there.
360
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,952
[ Sighs ]
361
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,453
[ Chuckles ]
362
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:27,639
Wonderful.
363
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,390
- Just wonderful.
- Dr. Hartley.
364
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,458
Please.
365
00:13:31,693 --> 00:13:32,809
Oh. I apologize.
366
00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:33,910
It's all right.
367
00:13:33,928 --> 00:13:35,178
Good night, brother.
368
00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:36,947
I'm so glad we did that today.
369
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:37,914
Larry:
I love you, brother.
370
00:13:37,948 --> 00:13:38,882
I love you.
I love you.
371
00:13:38,916 --> 00:13:39,833
I love you.
372
00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:50,293
So?
373
00:13:50,311 --> 00:13:53,430
We have them just where
we want them, father.
374
00:13:53,464 --> 00:13:55,899
I read machiavelli
the whole way here.
375
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:57,867
And I ordered something
on Skymall,
376
00:13:57,885 --> 00:14:00,170
which reminds me...
If my package arrives,
377
00:14:00,204 --> 00:14:02,189
it's my solar-powered
swing hammock.
378
00:14:02,223 --> 00:14:04,341
The Weaver family is the key.
379
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:07,377
If our community
is to return home,
380
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,297
you must destroy the bond
between the two families.
381
00:14:11,831 --> 00:14:12,998
I know, dad.
382
00:14:13,032 --> 00:14:16,885
I'm telling you, everything is
going according to plan.
383
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,370
And if you're wrong?
384
00:14:18,404 --> 00:14:21,623
If, in that unlikely
first-time event,
385
00:14:21,657 --> 00:14:25,210
I have just the thing
386
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:29,181
to make sure the Bird, Kersee,
and Weaver friendship ends
387
00:14:29,215 --> 00:14:30,716
for good.
388
00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:33,719
Wait.
389
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:36,221
What are you sitting in?
390
00:14:36,272 --> 00:14:38,857
Did you snake my hammock?
391
00:14:38,892 --> 00:14:40,726
What? No!
392
00:14:40,777 --> 00:14:42,644
Dad!
Someone's here.
393
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:45,013
Got to go.
Whoop.
394
00:14:45,031 --> 00:14:47,366
Gah.
395
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,319
[ Inhales sharply ]
396
00:14:59,906 --> 00:15:01,640
You must be Marty.
397
00:15:01,658 --> 00:15:03,959
I'm Larry bird's brother.
398
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,395
Oh, right!
DJ Jazzy Jeff.
399
00:15:06,446 --> 00:15:08,413
Really nice meeting you.
I should get to work.
400
00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:09,782
Nice to meet you, too, Marty.
401
00:15:09,817 --> 00:15:12,584
And may I say,
you're holding up very well
402
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:13,969
considering the circumstances.
403
00:15:14,003 --> 00:15:15,921
From what Jackie tells me
about Amber,
404
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:18,056
I'm shocked you let her
out of your sight.
405
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,558
Right? [ Chuckles ]
406
00:15:19,592 --> 00:15:21,293
What?
407
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:22,661
What? DJ Jazzy?
408
00:15:22,695 --> 00:15:24,847
Mr. Jazzy. What did you s...
What?
409
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:26,765
[ Sniffles ]
410
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:28,066
Ooh, I know. Phone!
411
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,501
Oh.
412
00:15:29,536 --> 00:15:30,802
Amber's dating a college boy?
413
00:15:30,837 --> 00:15:33,322
That doesn't qualify as really bad?
Are you kidding me?!
414
00:15:33,356 --> 00:15:35,474
- Told him?
- What? No!
415
00:15:35,508 --> 00:15:38,243
I forbid this, Amber.
I forbid you from seeing him!
416
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:42,063
First of all, please stop
talking to me like it's 1840.
417
00:15:42,097 --> 00:15:43,764
She's only 17, Debbie.
418
00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:47,151
And Zak is only 18, which makes
this really not a big deal.
419
00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:48,853
Mom, I hope that you
enjoyed our girl talk
420
00:15:48,887 --> 00:15:50,938
because it's going to have to
hold you for the next 50 years.
421
00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:52,573
Oh, no, no, no, no. I didn't
find out from your mother.
422
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:55,142
I had to find out
from DJ Jazzy Jeff.
423
00:15:55,177 --> 00:15:57,595
- The rapper?
- The neighbor!
424
00:15:57,629 --> 00:15:58,662
Wait a second!
425
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,020
You told?
What?
426
00:16:06,104 --> 00:16:07,855
I told you Amber's secret
in confidence.
427
00:16:07,906 --> 00:16:09,006
Amber made me promise
not to tell Marty.
428
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,975
I didn't tell Marty.
429
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:12,442
[ Mockingly ]
I didn't tell Marty.
430
00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:13,327
What's with the
emphasis on "Marty"?
431
00:16:13,378 --> 00:16:14,811
No, you didn't tell Marty.
432
00:16:14,846 --> 00:16:16,280
You told DJ Jazzy Jeff!
433
00:16:16,314 --> 00:16:17,247
Hmm.
434
00:16:17,282 --> 00:16:19,049
You always do this, Jackie.
435
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,317
I can trust you just about
as far as I can kick you.
436
00:16:21,352 --> 00:16:24,704
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy,
shia lebeouf, that's my line.
437
00:16:24,738 --> 00:16:26,639
Do me a favor and stay out
of this, okay, Larry?
438
00:16:26,674 --> 00:16:28,508
Oh, did Marty find out about
Amber's college boyfriend?
439
00:16:28,542 --> 00:16:30,527
Shut...
You told him?!
440
00:16:30,561 --> 00:16:32,278
What?
Why the emphasis on "him"
441
00:16:32,329 --> 00:16:33,296
like I'm Marty?
442
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:35,181
Jackie, trust...
443
00:16:35,216 --> 00:16:38,334
[ All shouting ]
444
00:16:47,393 --> 00:16:49,177
- Oh.
- Hi, Uncle DJ Jazzy Jeff.
445
00:16:49,211 --> 00:16:50,913
What's going on down there?
446
00:16:50,947 --> 00:16:53,949
Oh, chaos ensuing.
You know, the usual.
447
00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:57,719
Nephew, I fear I gave you
some bad advice yesterday
448
00:16:57,753 --> 00:16:59,037
regarding Amber.
449
00:16:59,072 --> 00:17:00,822
No, you gave me sound advice.
450
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,991
We're a different species,
Amber and I.
451
00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:05,727
Love can't conquer all,
much as I'd like it to.
452
00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:08,730
What if I told you it could?
453
00:17:13,036 --> 00:17:14,202
You're gonna keep saying that?
You're gonna keep saying that?
454
00:17:14,237 --> 00:17:15,971
No, you heard me.
So there!
455
00:17:16,005 --> 00:17:18,557
Say it again. Say it one more time,
Larry, and I will knock your block off.
456
00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:20,125
- Farty Marty!
- Oh, my God.
457
00:17:20,176 --> 00:17:21,710
Oh!
458
00:17:21,744 --> 00:17:23,779
Everyone, stop yelling.
459
00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:25,380
Have news.
460
00:17:25,415 --> 00:17:26,582
Per my Uncle's advice,
461
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:29,017
I've decided to challenge myself
academically.
462
00:17:29,052 --> 00:17:30,836
I applied for Harvard.
463
00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:33,055
I'll most likely be moving
to Boston in the fall.
464
00:17:35,491 --> 00:17:37,109
[ All shouting ]
465
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,811
466
00:17:59,581 --> 00:18:01,081
Reggie, now's not a good time.
467
00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:02,766
I just got into it
with my parents.
468
00:18:04,352 --> 00:18:07,004
Do you love me?
469
00:18:07,038 --> 00:18:08,455
What?
470
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:10,407
We've been over this
a million times.
471
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:11,542
I know.
472
00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:14,795
And I know that we can't be
together because of...
473
00:18:14,829 --> 00:18:15,829
What I am.
474
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:17,681
But the thing is,
475
00:18:17,715 --> 00:18:20,134
what if I told you
that inside this box
476
00:18:20,168 --> 00:18:22,052
is something
that could make me human?
477
00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:26,974
If I told you that,
would that be enough?
478
00:18:27,008 --> 00:18:28,826
What are you talking about?
479
00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:32,129
480
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:34,314
I love you, Amber.
481
00:18:34,349 --> 00:18:37,551
I've loved you since
the very first moment I saw you.
482
00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:39,670
I could leave tomorrow
and you would remain
483
00:18:40,404 --> 00:18:42,705
the great love of my life
until the day I died.
484
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:46,826
Just... pretend I'm just
another kid from New Jersey.
485
00:18:46,861 --> 00:18:48,478
If I could be that,
could you...
486
00:18:48,512 --> 00:18:49,595
Yes.
487
00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:51,998
I'm still in love with you
488
00:18:52,032 --> 00:18:53,516
yes.
489
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,085
I think I'm gonna have
to hear you say it.
490
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,638
The way my beats
when you walk into the room
491
00:18:58,672 --> 00:19:00,189
You're gonna make
me say it, huh?
492
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:02,992
I'm about to completely
alter my genetic makeup.
493
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,594
I'd like to hear the words.
494
00:19:06,428 --> 00:19:10,598
Reggie Jackson, you are
a gigantic pain in my ass
495
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:14,068
and, I fear, the great
love of my life.
496
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:15,636
I'm still in love with you
497
00:19:15,671 --> 00:19:17,689
I love you, Reggie.
498
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,907
I've always loved you.
499
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:24,462
The way my heart beats
when you walk into the room
500
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,498
[ All shouting ]
501
00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:29,851
Everyone,
I have an announcement.
502
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,509
I'm going to become human.
503
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:39,761
Where did you get that?
504
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:40,812
Son, you can't be...
505
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,896
I am.
506
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,631
This is the only way
for Ramber...
507
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:45,082
Don't call us Ramber.
508
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,985
- Amgie.
- No.
509
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:51,222
This is the only way for
Amber and I to be together.
510
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,824
I don't care what you say,
father. I'm going to do this.
511
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,108
Reggie Jackson,
512
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:56,194
have you really thought
about what you're saying?
513
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,329
You'd give up everything you are
to be with Amber.
514
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,782
What is with the emphasis
on "Amber"?
515
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,667
He could do a lot worse
than Amber, Jackie.
516
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,803
[ All shouting ]
517
00:20:13,728 --> 00:20:15,312
Enough!
518
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,115
Dick.
519
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,600
You are not moving to Boston.
520
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:21,452
Reggie, you are not
turning human.
521
00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:24,455
Pack up the house.
522
00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:26,657
We leave tomorrow.
523
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:30,261
But...
I am the supreme leader
524
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,645
and that is an order, Reggie.
525
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,814
All of you,
526
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,584
our mission to earth is over.
527
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:40,171
This has gone too far.
528
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,922
We're going home.
529
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:44,959
Congratulations, brother.
530
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,710
You win.
531
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:50,965
Well, I suppose
I should say something.
532
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:54,134
How did you put it
so eloquently?
533
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:59,755
Pbhhhhhhhht.
534
00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:06,663
Keep secrets from me, right?
535
00:21:06,881 --> 00:21:09,122
We're the weavers, right?
We're supposed to keep secrets.
536
00:21:09,282 --> 00:21:11,984
It's a secret-free house!
Secret-free!
537
00:21:15,071 --> 00:21:17,322
[ Sighs ]
538
00:21:22,495 --> 00:21:23,512
What the...
539
00:21:25,598 --> 00:21:27,282
I told you we were
going for it.
540
00:21:27,283 --> 00:21:28,283
Yes.
541
00:21:28,284 --> 00:21:30,984
Wait till you see what
happens next week.
542
00:21:31,285 --> 00:21:34,185
sync and corrections by bellows
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543
00:21:34,235 --> 00:21:38,785
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