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1
00:00:03,349 --> 00:00:05,269
I thought you said
you were going to the library.
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:07,051
I thought so, too, but I literally
can't get off Facebook.
3
00:00:07,085 --> 00:00:08,703
I literally don't think
you know what "literally" means.
4
00:00:08,737 --> 00:00:09,787
Oh, knock it off, Marty.
5
00:00:09,838 --> 00:00:11,956
I joined to connect
with my classmates.
6
00:00:11,990 --> 00:00:14,225
Three days later, I'm friends
with everyone I've ever known,
7
00:00:14,259 --> 00:00:15,993
including all our friends
from Bayonne.
8
00:00:16,028 --> 00:00:18,679
Remember that crazy guy who lived on
our block, with the pet porcupine?
9
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,348
Petey porcupine!
Of course I do!
10
00:00:20,382 --> 00:00:23,284
- We're friends. He's got a parakeet now.
- Oh, I got to see this.
11
00:00:24,303 --> 00:00:25,703
There he is! Petey!
12
00:00:25,737 --> 00:00:28,072
What, um...
What party is that?
13
00:00:28,106 --> 00:00:30,641
Uh, the album says
"Kevin's 40th."
14
00:00:31,576 --> 00:00:34,694
I don't remember
getting an invitation to that.
15
00:00:34,746 --> 00:00:35,796
Me neither.
16
00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:38,849
Is that Kristen's
engagement party?
17
00:00:38,883 --> 00:00:41,234
I can't believe
she didn't invite me!
18
00:00:41,252 --> 00:00:44,087
Deb, Deb, I'm sure
that was just an oversight.
19
00:00:44,138 --> 00:00:45,505
She wouldn't do that.
20
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:47,474
Oh, my God.
We've lost touch.
21
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:49,459
Now we're off the invite list!
22
00:00:49,494 --> 00:00:52,813
Maybe they're angry because
we never invited them here.
23
00:00:52,847 --> 00:00:54,127
We never even had
a housewarming.
24
00:00:54,148 --> 00:00:56,116
Well, what the hell have we
been doing with ourselves?
25
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:58,685
♪ On the first day of Oscar,
my true love gave to me ♪
26
00:00:58,719 --> 00:01:00,804
♪ Sandra Bullock
defying Gravity ♪
27
00:01:00,855 --> 00:01:03,540
Hello, Weavers!
Do you know it's Oscar season?
28
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:05,509
Yes, Larry. You called us
the morning of the nominations.
29
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,010
I'm making our
Oscar-night itinerary.
30
00:01:07,044 --> 00:01:08,378
I thought we could
start watching
31
00:01:08,412 --> 00:01:10,614
the "what are they going to wear
at the pre-show pre-show,"
32
00:01:10,648 --> 00:01:12,666
followed by the "most likely
to not fit in their dress"
33
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,351
red carpet special,"
followed by the Oscars.
34
00:01:14,385 --> 00:01:17,120
Weavers, why are you not
rejoicing in Oscar merriment?
35
00:01:17,155 --> 00:01:19,239
Does someone need
some Oscar caroling?
36
00:01:19,273 --> 00:01:22,876
♪ On the second day of Oscar,
my true love game to me ♪
37
00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,061
Osage county" ♪ and
Sandra bullock defying Grav... ♪
38
00:01:25,113 --> 00:01:26,546
Guys, guys, I'm sorry,
39
00:01:26,581 --> 00:01:29,681
but we're in the middle of some
heavy Facebook stalking here.
40
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,233
Our old friends from Bayonne
41
00:01:31,268 --> 00:01:32,818
stopped inviting us
to their parties.
42
00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:34,870
We've just been so preoccupied
with our own lives.
43
00:01:34,905 --> 00:01:36,121
Impossible.
44
00:01:36,156 --> 00:01:38,240
You, Debbie Weaver,
thinking only of yourself?
45
00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:39,275
Crazy ***
46
00:01:39,309 --> 00:01:41,160
Marty, maybe we should have
a party,
47
00:01:41,194 --> 00:01:42,695
get the gang back together.
48
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,930
It's a great idea, Deb,
but a party for what?
49
00:01:44,964 --> 00:01:46,565
I mean, the Super Bowl's over.
50
00:01:46,599 --> 00:01:48,617
♪ On the third day of Oscar,
my true love gave to me ♪
51
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:50,719
♪ Captain Philips
fighting pirates ♪
52
00:01:50,754 --> 00:01:53,005
♪ and a skinny McConaughey ♪
53
00:01:53,039 --> 00:01:55,724
He only ate
one chicken breast a day.
54
00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:57,209
Now, that is acting.
55
00:01:58,144 --> 00:02:00,778
Let's throw an Oscar party!
Reconnect the old gang!
56
00:02:00,812 --> 00:02:02,247
They'll forget
we ever left Bayonne.
57
00:02:02,281 --> 00:02:03,531
It'll be like old times.
58
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,466
♪ Bradley Cooper hustling
59
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,885
♪ Robert Redford sailing
60
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:10,572
♪ "12 years a slave"
♪ "12 years a slave"
61
00:02:10,623 --> 00:02:12,875
not exactly like old times.
62
00:02:14,627 --> 00:02:18,430
♪ We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey ♪
63
00:02:18,464 --> 00:02:22,267
♪ we took names like Larry Bird
and Jackie Joyner-Kersee ♪
64
00:02:22,318 --> 00:02:24,436
♪ then the humans
moved next door ♪
65
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:26,574
♪ started testing
all our limits ♪
66
00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:29,076
♪ so sit right down,
enjoy the show ♪
67
00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:31,509
♪ we'll be done in 30 minutes. ♪
68
00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,012
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
69
00:02:33,013 --> 00:02:35,381
And the DVR is set
for Oscar night.
70
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,549
Oh, I'm so excited
to catch up with everyone.
71
00:02:37,584 --> 00:02:40,302
I have never laughed harder
than at Kevin's Halloween party.
72
00:02:40,337 --> 00:02:42,588
Oh, God. His Lady Gaga
impression is hilarious.
73
00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:44,456
Who? Who's hilarious?
74
00:02:44,474 --> 00:02:45,758
- Our friend Kevin.
- No, no,
75
00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:47,910
I'm your hilarious friend.
Remember?
76
00:02:47,944 --> 00:02:49,228
Me?
77
00:02:49,262 --> 00:02:50,346
Wife, remind them.
78
00:02:50,397 --> 00:02:53,065
Oh, do you remember his
bit about the black box?
79
00:02:53,099 --> 00:02:55,818
Why don't they just make the
whole plane out of that thing?
80
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,492
He's like a white Jim Gaffigan.
81
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:03,942
Okay, let's see if anyone
has responded to our invite.
82
00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:07,396
Well, this is awkward.
We didn't get our invite yet.
83
00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:09,098
Yeah, we just assumed
you'd show up.
84
00:03:09,132 --> 00:03:12,034
Oh, great. Yeah.
Okay, we'll be there.
85
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,987
Sidney Crosby!
Slap shot!
86
00:03:16,006 --> 00:03:18,323
- Max!
- No house hockey!
87
00:03:18,341 --> 00:03:21,143
But I have to practice.
I've got tryouts this weekend.
88
00:03:21,177 --> 00:03:23,929
Oh, my God.
I totally forgot about that.
89
00:03:23,963 --> 00:03:25,297
Hey, mom.
90
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,616
Did you see that I accepted
your Facebook friend request?
91
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:28,517
Yes! Thanks so much
for doing that...
92
00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:29,835
So, now that we're friends,
93
00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:32,170
I feel totally cool about
asking you to borrow the car.
94
00:03:32,188 --> 00:03:33,672
I want to go to an art exhibit.
95
00:03:33,690 --> 00:03:36,675
Well, actually, it's a concert,
but it's a Kanye concert.
96
00:03:36,693 --> 00:03:38,477
And he is the greatest artist
to walk the planet,
97
00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,662
- according to Kanye.
- Fine. You can use the car
98
00:03:40,697 --> 00:03:43,198
as long as you take your
brother to his hockey tryouts.
99
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,867
You know what?
Take Abby with you
100
00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:46,802
because we have a lot to do
for this party,
101
00:03:46,836 --> 00:03:48,454
and we don't want
any distractions.
102
00:03:48,488 --> 00:03:50,355
Oh. So, now that
I'm doing you a favor,
103
00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:52,341
I guess there's no more
need to brownnose.
104
00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:54,176
- What? What are you doing?
- I'm de-friending you.
105
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:56,395
De-friend?
Humans do that?
106
00:03:56,429 --> 00:03:57,913
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
107
00:04:00,216 --> 00:04:03,168
Family, thank you all for
assembling on such short notice.
108
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,602
Make this quick. I have a batch
of shrinky dinks in the oven.
109
00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:06,839
It's come to our attention
110
00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:08,707
that humans have no problem
111
00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:11,643
getting rid of friends
they deem "unnecessary."
112
00:04:11,678 --> 00:04:13,145
Long story short...
113
00:04:13,179 --> 00:04:15,180
There's a possibility
that we could be de-friended
114
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,381
by the Weavers.
115
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,733
They're having an Oscar party
116
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:20,903
in which they're going to
reconnect with their old friends.
117
00:04:20,937 --> 00:04:22,237
When the
Weavers left Bayonne,
118
00:04:22,272 --> 00:04:24,323
we thought they had left
their old life behind them.
119
00:04:24,357 --> 00:04:25,924
But it appears
that their old friends
120
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:27,743
hold a very special place
in their hearts...
121
00:04:27,777 --> 00:04:29,060
A special place
122
00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:31,530
which may not have room for us.
123
00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:34,750
So we'll cut open their
hearts to make room.
124
00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:35,868
Aren't you guys overreacting?
125
00:04:35,902 --> 00:04:37,753
You were invited to the party,
weren't you?
126
00:04:37,787 --> 00:04:38,904
Only after we asked.
127
00:04:38,922 --> 00:04:41,423
Dear God.
We invited ourselves?
128
00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:42,875
We've become those people.
129
00:04:42,909 --> 00:04:45,010
Father, we've always been
those people.
130
00:04:45,044 --> 00:04:46,211
We must figure out
how to become
131
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,014
as indispensable to the
Weavers as oxygen...
132
00:04:49,048 --> 00:04:50,299
Or reality television.
133
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,885
All right, "operation
indispensable to the Weavers"...
134
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:54,987
Let's brainstorm.
There are no bad ideas.
135
00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:56,655
- Well, we could try to...
- That's a terrible idea. Reggie?
136
00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:59,775
We paint them a wall mural
but work really, really slowly
137
00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:01,059
so every day, they need us
138
00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:03,445
to come over and paint
just a little more.
139
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,747
That is genius.
140
00:05:05,782 --> 00:05:08,000
But we don't have any smocks.
141
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:09,017
Oh, damn it.
Oh, well.
142
00:05:09,052 --> 00:05:10,769
Wife?
143
00:05:10,803 --> 00:05:13,205
If the Weavers
want to throw an Oscar party
144
00:05:13,239 --> 00:05:14,623
for their Bayonne friends,
145
00:05:14,657 --> 00:05:17,392
let's help them make it
the best Oscar party ever.
146
00:05:17,427 --> 00:05:19,528
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
147
00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:21,447
I'm only saying the one
thing, so probably.
148
00:05:21,481 --> 00:05:23,132
My dinks!
149
00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:30,139
I bet you Sidney Crosby
doesn't have his sisters
150
00:05:30,173 --> 00:05:31,273
cramping his style.
151
00:05:31,307 --> 00:05:33,459
Just lay low and
don't embarrass me.
152
00:05:34,326 --> 00:05:36,477
It smells like feet in here.
153
00:05:36,512 --> 00:05:37,762
That would be the men.
154
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,564
Boy, am I glad hockey
season's starting.
155
00:05:39,598 --> 00:05:41,616
They started letting girls
on my son's soccer team.
156
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:43,668
Now it's all, "my cleats
don't match my ponytail."
157
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,803
Thank God for hockey.
158
00:05:45,837 --> 00:05:48,277
If I wanted to watch women ruining
sports, I'd watch the WNBA.
159
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,107
Just kidding.
160
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,010
I'd never watch the WNBA.
161
00:05:52,044 --> 00:05:55,647
It's 2014.
Are we still making WNBA jokes?
162
00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:58,116
Abby, hear me out.
163
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,034
There comes a time
in every woman's life
164
00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:01,869
when she must put aside
fear and doubt
165
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,638
and boldly confront
the masculine barriers
166
00:06:03,672 --> 00:06:04,772
that keep us down.
167
00:06:04,807 --> 00:06:07,408
Not following.
Try less words.
168
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,360
There's a glass ceiling
in this hockey rink,
169
00:06:09,378 --> 00:06:10,762
and it needs to be shattered.
170
00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,213
But glass ceilings are nice.
171
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,766
They let in sunshine,
and you can see the clouds.
172
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,951
Okay, Abby, I need you to sign up for
the hockey team and beat the boys.
173
00:06:16,986 --> 00:06:20,003
Oh.
Why didn't you say so?
174
00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:27,344
Abby, what are you doing?
175
00:06:27,362 --> 00:06:28,895
My name is Abby Weaver,
176
00:06:28,946 --> 00:06:32,215
and I would like to audition
for your hockey show.
177
00:06:34,552 --> 00:06:35,802
How's it looking, babe?
178
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,904
Not good.
Only two couples are coming.
179
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,289
The rest wrote things like,
180
00:06:39,324 --> 00:06:41,708
"we really wanted to see
your fancy new house,
181
00:06:41,743 --> 00:06:43,293
"but I guess
it's just another night
182
00:06:43,328 --> 00:06:44,628
in stinkin' Bayonne
for us."
183
00:06:44,662 --> 00:06:45,962
They resent us, Marty.
184
00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:48,264
We moved on up.
We're the Jeffersons.
185
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,283
So, what do we do, weezie?
186
00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:53,337
I think we need to throw
an old-school Bayonne shindig.
187
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,537
That way, the couples
that do come
188
00:06:54,555 --> 00:06:56,423
will go back and tell
everyone else that we're
189
00:06:56,474 --> 00:06:58,709
the same down-to-earth
Marty and Debbie from Bayonne.
190
00:06:58,742 --> 00:06:59,642
I'll make Bayonne bombers.
191
00:06:59,643 --> 00:07:01,311
Ooh! Who can resist
three parts beer,
192
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:02,879
one part pineapple
juice, and an olive?
193
00:07:02,947 --> 00:07:06,383
Marty, you know what
this party really needs?
194
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,070
Big Deal Lasagna?
195
00:07:10,104 --> 00:07:12,656
Five meats, four cheeses,
three sauces,
196
00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,190
eight delicious layers!
197
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:16,960
Nothing screams "Bayonne" like
rolling out the B-D-L, baby.
198
00:07:16,994 --> 00:07:18,495
Okay, we only have a few hours.
199
00:07:18,513 --> 00:07:20,514
If we rush,
we can get back in time
200
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:22,832
to throw in the lasagna
and ladle some bombers.
201
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:25,168
Good idea. We do a quick trip to the
store, just get what we need.
202
00:07:25,186 --> 00:07:28,021
A quick trip to the bulk store
is not possible for us.
203
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:30,524
I didn't need that tire,
but for $39? Come on.
204
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,192
Okay, let's pull it together
205
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,412
for a chill, laid-back
Oscar night.
206
00:07:36,614 --> 00:07:37,748
Look, everyone!
207
00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:40,217
It's America's
favorite couple...
208
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,351
The Weavers!
209
00:07:41,386 --> 00:07:43,403
Larry, what's going on?
210
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:47,357
You wanted an Oscar party.
We give you the Oscar party.
211
00:07:47,391 --> 00:07:49,960
How's that
for indispensable friends?
212
00:07:49,994 --> 00:07:51,595
Why are Carrot Top
and Erik Estrada
213
00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:53,096
in our living room?
214
00:07:53,131 --> 00:07:53,930
Oh, my God.
215
00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:54,931
Chips?
216
00:07:54,966 --> 00:07:56,466
Dude, that's classic.
217
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,335
Chips... didn't need to go
to the trunk for that one.
218
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,221
What charity
is this for, again?
219
00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:03,440
I have no idea.
I-I come to everything.
220
00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:06,109
We sent out handwritten
invitations to 500 celebrities,
221
00:08:06,144 --> 00:08:08,061
and the best two showed up!
222
00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:11,448
Welcome to your star-studded
Oscar party!
223
00:08:11,482 --> 00:08:14,451
Brought to you by
the Bird-Kersees and Magnum!
224
00:08:14,485 --> 00:08:16,653
The ice cream, not the condoms.
225
00:08:16,687 --> 00:08:17,654
Enjoy your gift bags!
226
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:21,158
Indispensable friends!
Indispensable friends!
227
00:08:21,192 --> 00:08:22,292
Indispensable friends!
228
00:08:22,326 --> 00:08:23,966
Hold on a second.
I got something for you.
229
00:08:23,995 --> 00:08:25,028
Let me see.
230
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,529
Indispensable friends,
could you find me
231
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,248
a glue gun and maybe a picture
232
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,816
of Jennifer Aniston...
Or Courteney Cox?
233
00:08:29,851 --> 00:08:30,951
Thanks, Marty.
234
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
235
00:08:40,289 --> 00:08:41,606
I don't know what to say.
236
00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:43,108
Aww, we know.
You're welcome.
237
00:08:43,142 --> 00:08:44,443
What the hell is that?
238
00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:47,129
Looks like someone's never seen
a caviar fountain before.
239
00:08:47,163 --> 00:08:49,214
I used to have one of these
in the '80s.
240
00:08:49,216 --> 00:08:53,452
Hello, Weavers, and welcome
to your Oscar party!
241
00:08:53,486 --> 00:08:54,669
I used to have one of these
cue my opening number.
242
00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,471
No, dick, they cut your number
for time, remember?
243
00:08:56,506 --> 00:08:57,773
Are you freakin' kidding me?!
244
00:08:57,807 --> 00:09:00,909
And now
for a final touch of glamour...
245
00:09:00,943 --> 00:09:03,545
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie...
246
00:09:03,579 --> 00:09:06,815
What?
247
00:09:06,849 --> 00:09:07,749
Look-alikes.
248
00:09:07,784 --> 00:09:09,084
Steve Watson and Tina menendez!
249
00:09:09,118 --> 00:09:11,019
Well, I mean,
I guess if you squint,
250
00:09:11,053 --> 00:09:12,454
they kind of look like them.
251
00:09:12,488 --> 00:09:14,389
Marty, we have to get rid of
all of this stuff
252
00:09:14,407 --> 00:09:15,723
before our friends show up.
253
00:09:22,148 --> 00:09:25,600
You sure about this?
It gets pretty rough out there.
254
00:09:25,635 --> 00:09:28,270
Max, I've seen "The Little
Mermaid on Ice" three times.
255
00:09:28,304 --> 00:09:29,287
I think I'll manage.
256
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,651
Poor kid.
257
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:43,735
Look at this.
258
00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:46,204
Someone's lacing up
her figure skates.
259
00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:48,590
Hey, Kyle, there's gonna
be a girl on the ice.
260
00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:50,125
Don't let her slow you down.
261
00:09:50,159 --> 00:09:52,027
Her? Please.
262
00:09:54,029 --> 00:09:55,897
Abby, get Kyle.
263
00:09:55,932 --> 00:09:57,065
On it.
264
00:10:06,726 --> 00:10:07,742
Hey!
265
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:20,956
Way to go, Abby!
266
00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:23,358
Don't let those boys
slow you down!
267
00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:27,510
Don't worry.
Kyle could always join the wnba.
268
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,114
Oh, this is so fancy.
269
00:10:31,149 --> 00:10:33,383
This is not exactly
what we were expecting.
270
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,852
Yeah, when did you guys start
hanging out with celebrities?
271
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:36,820
Oh, we don't.
272
00:10:36,854 --> 00:10:38,105
I think they know
our neighbors.
273
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,990
You know us. We're the same
down-to-earth people.
274
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:42,509
Yeah, I mean, just because
we don't live in Bayonne anymore
275
00:10:42,543 --> 00:10:44,611
doesn't mean we're not
Bayonne people, right?
276
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,913
Can I please just get some ice?
277
00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:48,999
"Can I please get some ice?
Can I please get some ice?
278
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:50,553
Can I please get some ice?"
279
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:52,486
Here. Aghhhh.
It's a party.
280
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,738
See? It's like
we never left Bayonne, right?
281
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,173
I hope you guys brought
your appetites,
282
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,391
'cause guess what I got
in the oven.
283
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,643
Uh-oh.
Did someone make a B-D-L?
284
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,862
You got it.
285
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,248
Hey, hey, if that stands for
"big deal Latino"
286
00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:06,883
I'm already here.
287
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,334
Sorry, Mr. Estrada.
288
00:11:08,352 --> 00:11:10,820
It stands for
"Big Deal Lasagna,"
289
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,271
and it's gonna be
an even bigger deal
290
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:13,339
than you guys even remember.
291
00:11:13,374 --> 00:11:14,557
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
292
00:11:15,191 --> 00:11:16,625
Who wants a Bayonne bomber?
293
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,993
Champagne?
294
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:20,980
Hey, I haven't had champagne
since my wedding. This is fancy.
295
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,516
Actually, Larry, we were just
about to have some Bayonne...
296
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:26,635
You must be Kevin. I hear you do
a killer Lady Gaga impression.
297
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,137
I dabble in impressions myself.
298
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,471
Deb!
299
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,907
Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!
300
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,342
I can't find my pants!
301
00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:35,144
See, I'm Marty.
302
00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:36,729
And that's...
That's his wife.
303
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,113
Deb!
304
00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:41,216
You guys have met
some new, interesting friends.
305
00:11:41,251 --> 00:11:43,218
Don't mind them.
They're just our neighbors.
306
00:11:43,253 --> 00:11:44,803
Just neighbors.
307
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,022
We've been been such
indispensable friends.
308
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,107
We've thrown them
309
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,375
the Oscar party to end
all Oscar parties.
310
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,626
How could this happen?
311
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,228
Okay, listen up, everyone.
Lasagna's almost ready.
312
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:55,312
Pardon.
313
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,164
Hey, Debbie,
314
00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:58,734
I'm gonna need you to clear this
area for the big dance number.
315
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,935
It's got a really cool finish.
316
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,770
Oh! Oh! Oh!
317
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,207
Had a really cool finish.
318
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:12,247
Now, that is what I call
smashing the glass ceiling.
319
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,498
It wasn't that hard.
320
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,517
I'm pretty sure
I'm the best skater out here.
321
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,437
Great.
322
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,789
Now she's gonna get
the last spot on the team.
323
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:21,957
Well, she is good.
324
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,341
But for once I wanted to be
325
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,310
the Weaver
that's good at something.
326
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,062
I mean,
Abby's good at everything.
327
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,382
Now I'll never be
the goodest at anything.
328
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,000
"Goodest" isn't a word.
329
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:35,270
Yeah, because that's exactly
what I needed to hear right now!
330
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,824
I am woman!
Watch me score!
331
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,393
Taste it, Kyle!
332
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,645
I've created
a feminist monster.
333
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,364
And now an interpretive dance
334
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,417
inspired by the hit movie
"Gravity."
335
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,741
Blast off.
336
00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:07,419
Beep-beep.
Boop-boop-boop-boop.
337
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,420
Beep-beep-beep. Beep.
338
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,771
Beep-beep-boop-boop.
Beep-beep-beep-beep.
339
00:13:09,806 --> 00:13:11,256
Beep-beep.
Boop-boop.
340
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,274
Beep-beep-beep-beep.
341
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,338
No! No!
342
00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:30,073
This party has been
hijacked, Marty.
343
00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:31,675
Our friends are gonna
go home tonight,
344
00:13:31,693 --> 00:13:33,694
and they are gonna think
we are total weirdos.
345
00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:35,785
We're never gonna be invited
to anything ever again!
346
00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:36,637
Don't freak out, Deb.
347
00:13:36,681 --> 00:13:38,398
We're gonna get this
party back on track.
348
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,600
B-D-L, baby.
349
00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:40,901
B-D-L.
350
00:13:58,836 --> 00:14:01,154
Thank God.
351
00:14:01,189 --> 00:14:04,908
Who remembers this old dish?
352
00:14:04,943 --> 00:14:06,593
B-D-L, baby!
353
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,295
Aw, with all the caviar
and the Magnum,
354
00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:09,479
I can't eat another bite.
355
00:14:09,514 --> 00:14:12,249
Mm, yeah, I'm so full,
I can't even look at it.
356
00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:13,984
I'm stuffed full
of entertainment.
357
00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:16,253
That interpretive journey
of Dick and Reggie's
358
00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:17,821
from space station
to space station
359
00:14:17,839 --> 00:14:19,706
- was a revelation.
- All right, that's enough!
360
00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:21,791
This lasagna was supposed
to remind our friends
361
00:14:21,809 --> 00:14:24,494
of the time we spent together
in Bayonne...
362
00:14:24,528 --> 00:14:28,081
When we got get together
and, you know, ate lasagna.
363
00:14:28,716 --> 00:14:30,600
This isn't about lasagna,
is it?
364
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:31,801
No, it's not.
365
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:34,103
It's about the party,
which you have ruined.
366
00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:36,138
Oh. We don't deserve that,
Debbie Weaver.
367
00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:38,808
All we've done is put on
the Oscar party of the century
368
00:14:38,826 --> 00:14:40,627
and shown your
friends a good time.
369
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:42,045
Well, they are not
having a good time.
370
00:14:42,079 --> 00:14:43,546
Actually, we're having
a pretty great time.
371
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:45,014
It's fine, guys
372
00:14:45,049 --> 00:14:47,409
- you don't have to pretend
that this is not weird. - Weird?
373
00:14:47,418 --> 00:14:50,270
Well, all this time,
we were afraid
374
00:14:50,304 --> 00:14:52,421
that you were going
to de-friend us.
375
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:53,606
Well, status update...
376
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:56,125
The Bird-Kersees
are de-friending the Weavers...
377
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,945
And putting an end
to this Oscar charade.
378
00:14:58,979 --> 00:15:01,064
Just a spoonful of sugar.
379
00:15:02,399 --> 00:15:03,867
Oh, my God.
380
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:05,401
What did I miss?
381
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:07,453
Family! Out!
382
00:15:11,659 --> 00:15:13,927
Now, this is
an awkward pause, huh?
383
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:16,746
Awkward paws?
384
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:18,540
- Shut up, carrot top!
- Shut up, carrot top!
385
00:15:29,486 --> 00:15:32,588
Yeah!
Nice shot, Abby!
386
00:15:32,622 --> 00:15:34,956
You're a real Sidney Crosby!
387
00:15:37,027 --> 00:15:39,378
Hear that?
I'm a real Bill Cosby.
388
00:15:39,412 --> 00:15:41,430
Abby, this might
sound confusing,
389
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:43,732
but I need you to take
a dive for Max...
390
00:15:43,766 --> 00:15:45,117
Just pull back a little.
391
00:15:45,168 --> 00:15:47,469
What about shattering glass
with woman power?
392
00:15:47,503 --> 00:15:49,488
Well, all those
things still apply.
393
00:15:49,522 --> 00:15:52,124
But just this once, we're
gonna make an exception
394
00:15:52,175 --> 00:15:53,492
'cause he's your brother.
395
00:15:53,526 --> 00:15:54,493
I don't know.
396
00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:56,812
You can't put a lid
on greatness.
397
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:02,935
Hey, we didn't mean for
this party to get so crazy.
398
00:16:02,986 --> 00:16:05,120
I mean, all of this...
It's not really us.
399
00:16:05,155 --> 00:16:07,756
Our neighbors can get a
little out of hand sometimes.
400
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:10,258
Ah, don't worry about it.
We got to get going anyway.
401
00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:12,393
I don't trust my wife
around Estrada.
402
00:16:12,428 --> 00:16:13,728
Yeah, he's my hall pass.
403
00:16:13,762 --> 00:16:14,862
Wait a minute.
You guys are leaving?
404
00:16:14,897 --> 00:16:16,147
I mean, the Oscars
haven't even started yet.
405
00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:17,582
Yeah, I got to get
to work in the morning,
406
00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:20,018
and the drive back
is really long.
407
00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:22,120
Plus, the turnpike is horrible
on Sunday.
408
00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:24,539
I wish you guys
wouldn't have moved so far away.
409
00:16:24,573 --> 00:16:25,423
What?
410
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,658
I mean, we thought you guys
411
00:16:26,692 --> 00:16:29,244
didn't invite us to parties
in Bayonne anymore
412
00:16:29,278 --> 00:16:31,696
because you didn't
want to hang out with us.
413
00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:34,682
No, we just assumed you didn't
want to make the drive back.
414
00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:37,452
But it seems like you've made
some really great new friends.
415
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:39,420
Yeah, and they're so
creative and fun.
416
00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,055
You must never be bored.
417
00:16:41,089 --> 00:16:43,591
Yeah, well, there's actually
never a dull moment around here.
418
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,243
Yeah, I mean,
that Reggie kid
419
00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:49,129
choreographed a heart-wrenching
interpretive dance using silks.
420
00:16:49,164 --> 00:16:50,230
I mean, who does that?
421
00:16:50,265 --> 00:16:51,815
Pretty much only them.
422
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,401
That was pretty
amazing, actually.
423
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:57,387
I wish I had friends who would
throw a party like this for me.
424
00:16:57,422 --> 00:16:59,840
Well, crap.
425
00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:01,375
We are the worst, aren't we?
426
00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:02,292
We are.
427
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:19,192
♪ Fire and ice
428
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:23,230
♪ you come on like a flame,
then you turn a cold shoulder ♪
429
00:17:23,264 --> 00:17:27,167
♪ fire and ice
430
00:17:27,202 --> 00:17:28,669
♪ I wanna give you my love
431
00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:33,357
♪ but you'll just take
a little piece of my heart ♪
432
00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:37,544
♪ you'll just tear it apart
433
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:42,032
♪ I've seen you
burn 'em before ♪
434
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:45,752
♪ fire and ice
435
00:17:45,787 --> 00:17:49,740
♪ you come on like a flame
then you turn a cold shoulder ♪
436
00:17:49,774 --> 00:17:52,459
♪ fire and ice
437
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:55,646
♪ I wanna give you my love
438
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,733
♪ but you'll just take
a little piece of my heart ♪
439
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:01,201
Yeah!
440
00:18:01,236 --> 00:18:04,771
All right, Max!
441
00:18:04,789 --> 00:18:06,590
- Good shot, Max!
- Go, Weaver!
442
00:18:11,145 --> 00:18:14,064
We're good sisters.
443
00:18:14,098 --> 00:18:16,133
The goodest.
444
00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:19,068
Who is it?
445
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,720
- It's us.
- Us who?
446
00:18:20,854 --> 00:18:22,171
It's Marty and Debbie.
447
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:23,439
Marty and Debbie...
448
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:26,242
Oh, you mean our acquaintances
from next door?
449
00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:27,577
Open the door, Larry.
450
00:18:29,213 --> 00:18:32,231
Guys, look, we messed up, okay?
451
00:18:32,266 --> 00:18:33,816
We're really, really sorry.
452
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,201
How could you do that?
453
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:38,721
And on Oscar Sunday, no less.
I don't understand.
454
00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:40,006
You're right.
455
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,575
We were totally focused on doing
things for our old friends
456
00:18:42,609 --> 00:18:44,210
that we failed to appreciate
457
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:46,596
all the wonderful things
you guys did for us.
458
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:49,815
They were pretty wonderful,
and you didn't even get to
459
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:52,618
the poorly edited
"tribute to editing" montage.
460
00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:55,454
So, what do you say we spend
some quality time together
461
00:18:55,488 --> 00:18:57,924
watching the greatest
awards show on television
462
00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,292
with our greatest friends?
463
00:18:59,326 --> 00:19:00,893
She means us, right?
464
00:19:00,911 --> 00:19:02,111
Yes!
465
00:19:02,162 --> 00:19:05,298
You guys are a very big deal.
You're our lasagna.
466
00:19:05,332 --> 00:19:08,017
What about your friends
from Bayonne?
467
00:19:08,051 --> 00:19:10,236
Oh, they left early
because the drive was so far.
468
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:13,072
It turns out that's why they stopped
inviting us to their parties.
469
00:19:13,106 --> 00:19:14,790
It was a lot easier
470
00:19:14,841 --> 00:19:16,909
thinking it was because
we were too fancy,
471
00:19:16,927 --> 00:19:19,829
but it's rough to find out that
we're just not worth the drive.
472
00:19:19,863 --> 00:19:22,348
I'm really sorry to hear that.
473
00:19:22,382 --> 00:19:24,400
I'm not.
They're idiots.
474
00:19:24,451 --> 00:19:26,369
- Larry?
- Yeah, they're idiots.
475
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:28,304
I mean, if they don't
come and visit you
476
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:30,013
because it's too far,
then they're idiots.
477
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:31,939
There's no drive too long
478
00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:33,575
that would prevent us
from coming to visit you.
479
00:19:33,609 --> 00:19:35,627
♪ stronger together
480
00:19:35,661 --> 00:19:38,546
we would go to the ends of the
universe to see our best friends.
481
00:19:38,581 --> 00:19:39,865
♪ We'll carry on
482
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:41,984
there's nowhere you could go
where we wouldn't find you...
483
00:19:42,035 --> 00:19:44,737
Literally nowhere.
♪ we'll be forever
484
00:19:44,771 --> 00:19:48,291
Wherever you go,
we will find you.
485
00:19:48,325 --> 00:19:50,893
You'll never get away from us.
♪ where we belong
486
00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:55,414
Those tracking devices we implanted
will help. ♪ where we belong
487
00:19:55,448 --> 00:19:57,717
We'll just... we'll deal...
We'll deal with that later.
488
00:19:57,751 --> 00:19:59,168
Guys, let's go watch the Oscars.
♪ ooh, stronger together
489
00:20:00,887 --> 00:20:02,922
I can't wait to see what the
phone from "Her" is wearing.
490
00:20:02,956 --> 00:20:04,807
♪ I believe in you
491
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,131
You know, the caviar
492
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,132
really brings out the flavor
of these corn chips.
493
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,317
- Chip?
- Yes?
494
00:20:17,351 --> 00:20:18,968
That never gets old,
probably, huh?
495
00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:21,471
None for me.
I'm watching my weight.
496
00:20:21,489 --> 00:20:22,355
Nice!
497
00:20:22,406 --> 00:20:23,356
Ginger pound.
498
00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:25,825
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
499
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,577
Facebook friends photo, anyone?
500
00:20:27,612 --> 00:20:30,313
Aww, Jackie,
that's exactly what I wanted.
501
00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:32,165
Quick. Before the "in
memoriam" montage starts
502
00:20:32,199 --> 00:20:33,199
and I mess my face.
503
00:20:33,251 --> 00:20:34,301
From soup to nuts,
504
00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:36,419
this has been an Oscar day
to remember.
505
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:41,841
Hands off, ponch.
506
00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:43,827
Photo bomb!
507
00:20:43,861 --> 00:20:45,244
Shut up, Carrot Top!
508
00:20:45,269 --> 00:20:48,269
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
509
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,148
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
510
00:20:52,198 --> 00:20:56,748
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38466
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