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1
00:00:04,785 --> 00:00:06,485
Finish your poptart, guys.
2
00:00:06,586 --> 00:00:08,686
Eat while you walk, baby,
you're gonna be late for school.
3
00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:13,187
It's too hot, the filling
is burning my mouth
4
00:00:13,588 --> 00:00:15,488
Well, mouth it really fast sweetie.
5
00:00:15,489 --> 00:00:17,589
I'll get some neosporin later.
6
00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:18,990
Can't wait to get my
car out of the shop.
7
00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:20,691
- This is killing me.
- Killing you?
8
00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:23,692
I'm the one who has to drop you
at work every day this week
9
00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:25,293
it's like driving Ms Daisy
10
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,194
oh my God, Tad and Larke Hollander
ten o'clock.
11
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,095
Did they see us?
12
00:00:32,496 --> 00:00:33,396
- Yep, they saw us.
- Ohh
13
00:00:33,397 --> 00:00:35,397
I cannot stand those two.
I know.
14
00:00:35,398 --> 00:00:38,298
Last week when their kid beat
Abby at the gymnastics meet
15
00:00:38,399 --> 00:00:40,399
Debbie you did such a good job.
16
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,183
It's more the way she said it,
than the what she said.
17
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:45,053
- Ugh. - Yeah, no, I know
exactly what you mean.
18
00:00:45,304 --> 00:00:47,256
If I have to listen
to their "we're better than you"
19
00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:49,091
breathy hyena laugh
one more time,
20
00:00:49,142 --> 00:00:51,460
I cannot be held
responsible for what I do.
21
00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,080
- Oh, hi, guys!
- Hi, guys!
22
00:00:54,414 --> 00:00:55,347
You!
23
00:00:55,382 --> 00:00:56,815
Oh, I just love that you guys
24
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:59,268
- drop off your kids together, too.
- Mm-hmm.
25
00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:02,254
There is nothing like a
relaxing drive to school
26
00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:03,555
to digest a big breakfast.
27
00:01:06,158 --> 00:01:08,427
Today I made
a smoked salmon Benedict
28
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,795
on these homemade
croissant that I do.
29
00:01:10,829 --> 00:01:12,531
It's just... you know,
it's fun and easy.
30
00:01:13,065 --> 00:01:14,500
So, guys,
big day for the weavers.
31
00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:16,118
Our fam
wants to invite your fam
32
00:01:16,152 --> 00:01:20,155
to a big bash we are throwing
on Halloween night.
33
00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:22,841
- Here. - Would you...
Bup. Yeah. Bup!
34
00:01:28,147 --> 00:01:29,231
I... scary, huh?
35
00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:32,084
I designed that.
I design cards now.
36
00:01:32,118 --> 00:01:34,386
So, are you guys in?
37
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:36,989
You know, ooh, we,
um, have, uh...
38
00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:38,140
Another party.
...Church.
39
00:01:38,174 --> 00:01:39,791
We have
a Halloween church party.
40
00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:42,144
- We're wiccan.
- Yeah.
41
00:01:42,578 --> 00:01:45,013
Oh, well, you know what?
You're probably better off.
42
00:01:45,547 --> 00:01:48,483
We're having
a family-costume contest.
43
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,451
You know, and we do have something
really special planned.
44
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:52,420
- But, you know, whatever.
- Tad, don't oversell it.
45
00:01:52,454 --> 00:01:53,571
Oh, aah, guilty.
46
00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:54,739
He's not, though.
47
00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,707
It really is...
It's quite a costume.
48
00:02:01,447 --> 00:02:03,364
You know what?
We... we could...
49
00:02:03,398 --> 00:02:05,299
We could probably
make your party, after all.
50
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,919
Yeah, and FYI, we have
a pretty spectacular
51
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,921
family costume planned,
as well, so...
52
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,772
Oh, good. Okay.
But what about your church party?
53
00:02:11,807 --> 00:02:12,940
We're thinking
of quitting church.
54
00:02:12,975 --> 00:02:15,526
- Too many parties.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,311
Fab!
That's such good news.
56
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,298
Guys, no hands.
No hands!
57
00:02:20,332 --> 00:02:22,483
Oh, that's
so... that's so stupid.
58
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:25,469
Marty, we have got to win
that costume contest!
59
00:02:25,487 --> 00:02:27,605
It's become the new focus
of my entire life. Yes.
60
00:02:27,623 --> 00:02:28,623
Ohh.
61
00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:30,842
Aah!
I know. I know.
62
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:36,230
- sync and corrections by bellows -
www.addic7ed.com
63
00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:40,167
We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey
64
00:02:40,218 --> 00:02:44,004
we took names like Larry Bird
and Jackie Joyner-Kersee
65
00:02:44,055 --> 00:02:46,173
then the humans
moved next door
66
00:02:46,224 --> 00:02:48,392
started testing
all our limits
67
00:02:48,426 --> 00:02:50,527
so sit right down,
enjoy the show
68
00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:53,931
we'll be done in 30 minutes.
69
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:58,602
Children, have you ever met
the bogeyman before?
70
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,104
No, of course, you haven't
71
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,439
for you're much too good,
I'm sure
72
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:06,610
don't you be afraid of him
if he should visit you
73
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,279
he's a great big coward,
so I'll tell you what to do
74
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,566
Family, I have an announcement.
75
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,918
I was just in a thing
called a Jewish deli
76
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,552
because I was intrigued
by something in the window
77
00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:17,054
called a kosher pickle.
78
00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:19,056
Oh, Amber eats those
during lunch.
79
00:03:19,124 --> 00:03:21,558
It makes her kisses
taste extra sour.
80
00:03:21,593 --> 00:03:22,810
Stay focused.
81
00:03:22,844 --> 00:03:24,094
Now, the man behind the counter
82
00:03:24,128 --> 00:03:25,346
told me about a Jewish holiday
83
00:03:25,397 --> 00:03:26,847
called C-Chanukah.
84
00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:30,734
Ooh, I love that "c-ch" sound
you just made. Tell me more.
85
00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:33,070
Well, a very long time ago,
86
00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:35,322
a Jewish temple
was trashed by bad guys,
87
00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:37,107
and there was an oil lamp
in the temple
88
00:03:37,141 --> 00:03:38,692
that was never supposed
to go out.
89
00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:41,195
And there was only enough oil
to burn the lamp for one day.
90
00:03:41,246 --> 00:03:42,529
Let me guess.
91
00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:45,165
So the lamp burned for one night
and then ran out of oil.
92
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,167
No, that little bit of oil
93
00:03:47,202 --> 00:03:49,954
burned for eight days
until they could get more.
94
00:03:49,988 --> 00:03:51,672
But how, papa?
95
00:03:51,706 --> 00:03:53,340
It was a miracle.
96
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:54,675
So to celebrate,
97
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:56,844
the jewishes light candles
and get presents
98
00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:58,345
every night for eight nights.
99
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,531
I wish Halloween
was eight nights.
100
00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:03,050
Family, a mission.
101
00:04:04,152 --> 00:04:06,420
We shall take the two
best holidays on this planet
102
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:09,456
and combine them into one new,
ultimate holiday.
103
00:04:09,491 --> 00:04:10,975
All right, I'm in!
104
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:13,360
But how does one celebrate
flag day-ramadan?
105
00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:15,979
No, woman. I'm talking
about Challo-nukah-ween.
106
00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:18,065
Hanuk-loo-kah-wah-kah-kah-kah.
107
00:04:18,099 --> 00:04:19,767
Hallo-haka-hah!
108
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,218
I have it!
109
00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:22,903
Drumroll, please, dick!
110
00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:30,344
Dick, I haven't got all day.
Come on. Pick up.
111
00:04:36,868 --> 00:04:41,005
We shall combine...
Halloween and Chanukah.
112
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,975
It's called...
113
00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:46,193
Challoweenukah.
114
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,112
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Cool!
115
00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:50,247
Well, it's cute,
but it's no Flamadan.
116
00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:55,919
So, Halloween...
117
00:04:56,153 --> 00:04:58,438
I was thinking
I'd go as young Yoko Ono,
118
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,923
and you could go
as old Yoko Ono
119
00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:01,524
because we already have the hair.
120
00:05:01,559 --> 00:05:02,909
Actually,
I'm going to spend Halloween
121
00:05:02,943 --> 00:05:03,943
with my family this year.
122
00:05:03,978 --> 00:05:06,596
Father is inventing
the greatest holiday
123
00:05:06,614 --> 00:05:08,565
of all time.
124
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,633
Oh.
125
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,368
I-is that okay?
126
00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:13,069
Yeah.
Totally.
127
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,571
Are you sure?
128
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,539
Uh-huh.
129
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:18,158
Is this a thing?
130
00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:19,125
Not a thing.
131
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,710
Reggie, what do I always say?
132
00:05:21,145 --> 00:05:22,245
"Take your finger out
of your nose, Reggie.
133
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:23,329
It's disgusting."
134
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:23,980
True that.
135
00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:25,248
But I also say I'm
not the type of girl
136
00:05:25,282 --> 00:05:27,618
that needs to spend every second
with her boyfriend.
137
00:05:28,569 --> 00:05:29,819
Exactly... it's one of
ther easons that I'm glad
138
00:05:29,853 --> 00:05:31,187
I'm with you
and not crazy Jane.
139
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:32,989
Nor do I mind
that you once again
140
00:05:33,023 --> 00:05:34,290
brought up
your stalker soul mate
141
00:05:34,324 --> 00:05:35,958
while blowing me off
on a major holiday.
142
00:05:35,993 --> 00:05:37,060
It doesn't bother me at all.
143
00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:38,377
- Great.
- Great.
144
00:05:38,412 --> 00:05:41,030
Great...Is how I cleaned
this counter... so great.
145
00:05:41,065 --> 00:05:42,031
Great, great, great.
146
00:05:42,066 --> 00:05:45,151
Hmm.
147
00:05:45,202 --> 00:05:46,786
Reggie, take your finger
out of your nose.
148
00:05:46,837 --> 00:05:48,471
It's disgusting.
149
00:05:48,505 --> 00:05:51,373
Chanukah is a holiday
about miracles
150
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:53,359
that lasts for eight days.
151
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:57,363
And Halloween is about
candy and adorable costumes.
152
00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:58,498
And we shall combine the two
153
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,517
for an unprecedented
eight days of candy...
154
00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:03,369
Dreidels,
155
00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:04,437
pumpkins, and miracles.
156
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:05,772
- Aww! - Aww!
- Aww!
157
00:06:05,806 --> 00:06:06,856
Any questions?
158
00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:09,192
Yes, the, uh,
cutie-patootie up front.
159
00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:10,326
Well...
Not you.
160
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,661
The bite-sized ginger snap
to your left.
161
00:06:11,695 --> 00:06:13,162
It appears Halloween
and Chanukah
162
00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:14,864
have nothing in common...
Annoying!
163
00:06:14,898 --> 00:06:15,965
Yes. You.
164
00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:17,467
What's the deal
with candy corn?
165
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:19,769
It's not candy,
and it's not corn, so...
166
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,270
No, not a good question.
Sorry.
167
00:06:21,304 --> 00:06:22,989
Yes.
168
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,040
Is it "C-Chanukah"
or "Chan-ukah"?
169
00:06:24,074 --> 00:06:26,492
Who cares?
It's eight days. Yes.
170
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:29,128
- What is a miracle?
- A miracle is an unexpected,
171
00:06:29,179 --> 00:06:30,963
completely extraordinary event
172
00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:32,682
that occurs
when you least expect it.
173
00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:33,850
Oh, like when we found out
174
00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:35,151
we were pregnant with dick.
175
00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:36,486
No, that was an accident.
176
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,538
Hey, guys.
I'm sitting right here.
177
00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:41,257
You were planned.
178
00:06:45,094 --> 00:06:46,511
So, we're gonna come up
179
00:06:46,562 --> 00:06:49,564
with the ultimate
family Halloween costume.
180
00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,366
We're gonna go to the hollanders,
and we're going to...
181
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,034
Well, how do I
put this delicately?
182
00:06:53,069 --> 00:06:54,452
Demolish them!
183
00:06:54,487 --> 00:06:56,788
Kick their smug,
spray-tanned butts!
184
00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:58,256
Yeah, but delicately.
185
00:06:58,291 --> 00:06:59,808
They think they're so fancy
186
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:02,511
with their good hygiene
and their top-shelf healthcare.
187
00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:05,263
"Ooh, we're the Hollanders.
We have all our vaccinations.
188
00:07:05,314 --> 00:07:06,781
We can't get the smallpox."
189
00:07:06,816 --> 00:07:09,901
They deserve everything
they got coming.
190
00:07:09,952 --> 00:07:13,238
And Blake Hollander is the most
annoying kid in my class.
191
00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:16,291
He calls show-and-tell
"my time to shine."
192
00:07:18,094 --> 00:07:19,377
And whenever I play house
with Lanie Hollander,
193
00:07:19,428 --> 00:07:22,681
she makes me be the maid,
and I have to empty my pockets
194
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:25,317
to prove I didn't steal
the good silver.
195
00:07:25,351 --> 00:07:27,819
I hate the Hollanders!
196
00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,487
Hey, hey!
Weavers don't hate.
197
00:07:29,522 --> 00:07:30,939
- We apprec...
- Destroy!
198
00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:32,941
Really?! Come on!
199
00:07:32,975 --> 00:07:35,327
"Weavers don't hate.
We appreciate," is your line.
200
00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:37,696
Amber, we're gonna need
100% participation
201
00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:38,997
to pull this off.
202
00:07:39,031 --> 00:07:41,917
Yeah, I'm in. It's not like
I have anything better to do.
203
00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,568
That's so great.
You got nothing.
204
00:07:43,603 --> 00:07:44,669
Thank you for that.
205
00:07:44,704 --> 00:07:46,171
Okay.
Let's brainstorm.
206
00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:53,011
What's spooky and miraculous
and lasts for eight days?
207
00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:55,680
Larry, now is not a good time.
the best holiday
208
00:07:55,715 --> 00:07:59,351
it's called Challoweenukah
- Larry, we have to...
209
00:07:59,385 --> 00:08:02,137
So, come spend
the next eight days with
210
00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:04,723
- Oh?
me and Jack...
211
00:08:06,943 --> 00:08:08,026
Didn't even get to the bridge.
212
00:08:15,273 --> 00:08:18,040
All right, come on. What is
a good five-person costume?
213
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:19,008
Everyone, think.
214
00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:20,827
We can be the seasons.
215
00:08:20,861 --> 00:08:22,512
There's only four, baby.
216
00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:23,646
Nuh-unh!
217
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,949
Winter, spring,
218
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,917
summer, autumn,
219
00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:29,085
and fall.
220
00:08:30,554 --> 00:08:32,655
One problem at a time.
221
00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:35,825
We will be celebrating
Challoweenukah
222
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,110
without the Weavers
223
00:08:37,161 --> 00:08:39,779
because they have callously
rejected our invitation
224
00:08:39,813 --> 00:08:41,614
to join us for Challoweenukah.
225
00:08:41,682 --> 00:08:43,933
Chop-chop, everyone.
Let's get our Challoweenukah on.
226
00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:47,871
Challoweenukah starts tonight.
It's spooky and miraculous.
227
00:08:47,905 --> 00:08:49,706
Be there or be square.
228
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,508
Challoweenukah...
A new holiday by Larry Bird.
229
00:08:52,543 --> 00:08:54,410
Join me tonight.
230
00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:58,031
231
00:08:58,065 --> 00:09:01,000
Nobody's gonna
know we're the Obamas.
232
00:09:01,051 --> 00:09:02,802
What if we paint our faces?
233
00:09:02,853 --> 00:09:04,437
- No, no. - No, Abby.
- That's a bad idea.
234
00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:05,521
What?
235
00:09:05,555 --> 00:09:07,740
236
00:09:15,232 --> 00:09:18,001
The dreidel won't spin.
237
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,252
We don't need the Weavers
238
00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:23,673
any more than the maccabees
needed the, um...Uh...
239
00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:27,943
Are you seriously
looking at me for this?
240
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,964
The cast of "Sex and the city."
Now, this could work.
241
00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:35,433
I don't know
what looks more delicious...
242
00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:39,838
That cosmo
or the hunk serving it.
243
00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,723
- No. - Too creepy.
- Absolutely not.
244
00:09:41,757 --> 00:09:42,891
245
00:09:48,147 --> 00:09:51,049
Husband, we haven't
had one trick-or-treater.
246
00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:53,552
This is worse than your one-man show.
247
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:56,705
"Keep calm and Larry on"
was a masterpiece.
248
00:09:56,739 --> 00:09:58,557
Was it?
249
00:09:58,991 --> 00:10:02,594
See?
We're basket Weavers
250
00:10:02,628 --> 00:10:05,313
'cause our last name is Weaver!
251
00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:07,549
We had a better shot
at winning in blackface.
252
00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,284
Children?
253
00:10:10,219 --> 00:10:13,221
Come take treats
from my candy menorah.
254
00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,556
255
00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:16,891
Oh, trick-or-treaters,
where are you?
256
00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:20,345
Children?! Anyone?!
257
00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,365
Why doesn't anyone
like my holiday?
258
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:27,501
Oh, husband,
maybe we should get ready
259
00:10:27,536 --> 00:10:29,220
to celebrate Halloween classic.
260
00:10:29,271 --> 00:10:31,188
You can write off
Challoweenukah as...
261
00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:32,673
As a-a noble failure
262
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:35,543
like the American jury system
or MySpace.
263
00:10:35,577 --> 00:10:37,378
You want to give up?
264
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:39,764
No, way, Monet.
265
00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:41,515
We just need one miracle.
266
00:10:41,549 --> 00:10:43,901
Face it, father. We should
just have a regular Halloween.
267
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,352
- No "ukah"?
- No "ukah."
268
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:46,704
- A little "ukah"?
- No more "ukah."
269
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:48,339
- Damn.
- Hmm.
270
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,508
You infidels
give up if you want to.
271
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,060
The Weavers dismissed me.
Why shouldn't you?
272
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:56,113
But we still have
two days of Challoweenukah left.
273
00:10:56,164 --> 00:10:58,115
And if the children
won't come to me,
274
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:01,385
then I shall
bring my holiday to them.
275
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,639
Challoweenukah
may have been a bust,
276
00:11:05,674 --> 00:11:07,441
but I love that you and I
277
00:11:07,475 --> 00:11:09,293
are spending time together
without Amber.
278
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:13,314
I can't figure out why
she isn't answering my texts.
279
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,683
Oh, who knows why women
do the things they do?
280
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,817
It started around the time
281
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:18,436
I told her I was going
to spend Halloween
282
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,421
with my family and not her.
283
00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,589
It seems
fairly obvious that she...
284
00:11:21,623 --> 00:11:24,225
That there's no way
of knowing what's wrong.
285
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:26,444
Are you ready to carve
our Jack-o-lanterns?
286
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,595
Yeah.
287
00:11:28,613 --> 00:11:30,381
I'll get the stencils.
288
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,250
What?!
289
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:34,719
Last year, he spent Halloween
with Amber.
290
00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:36,220
So this year,
he should spend it with me.
291
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:37,288
Just like last month,
292
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,939
he spent their anniversary
with her.
293
00:11:38,974 --> 00:11:41,075
So this month,
he'll have to spend it with me.
294
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,626
Yeesh!
295
00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,933
Remember I have karate
after school today.
296
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,184
Nope, not going.
297
00:11:51,219 --> 00:11:52,802
We're hunkering down
and figuring out a costume
298
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,487
for tonight if it kills us.
299
00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:55,822
Why would it kill us?
300
00:11:55,856 --> 00:11:57,374
Scram!
301
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,793
I still like basket Weavers.
302
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,813
Aah! Aah! Aah!
303
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,816
Geez! How are we giving these
to our children?!
304
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,735
Marty, you spit pop-tart
all over me!
305
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:09,986
Aah!
306
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,789
Oh, it's burning my skin.
These really are hot.
307
00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:16,092
Beep!
308
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:17,928
Beep!
Uh-oh.
309
00:12:17,962 --> 00:12:20,346
Deb, you have some...
Some crumbs on your...
310
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,899
Thanks, larke.
311
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,401
Super-excited
for tonight.
312
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,369
Yeah, well,
our costumes can't lose.
313
00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,005
Well, then, how about
we make a friendly wager?
314
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,741
Let's say $5,000...
315
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,210
Honey, they can't afford that.
Have you seen their house?
316
00:12:34,245 --> 00:12:36,563
How about instead,
whoever loses the contest
317
00:12:36,597 --> 00:12:38,565
has to wear their
ugly costumes to drop-off
318
00:12:38,599 --> 00:12:39,866
every morning for a week?
319
00:12:39,901 --> 00:12:41,651
Ha ha!
320
00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,203
You got a deal.
321
00:12:43,237 --> 00:12:45,071
Well, then,
this is gonna be a hoot.
322
00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:47,040
Ciao!
323
00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:48,341
Ciao.
324
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,343
Ha ha!
325
00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:52,762
They didn't think
we could afford the bet!
326
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,014
We can't.
I know!
327
00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:55,165
I hate them so much!
328
00:12:55,199 --> 00:12:57,017
I hate them, too.
329
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,401
This is probably not the time,
330
00:12:58,436 --> 00:13:00,020
but you have pop-tart
in your hair.
331
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:01,321
I know!
I smell it burning!
332
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,109
Children?
333
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,777
Gather 'round!
334
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:11,615
I've created
a magical new holiday.
335
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:16,119
And the weavers don't care,
so I've brought it to you.
336
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,587
Come closer.
337
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:21,124
Come closer to my van.
338
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:25,128
Now...Who wants candy?
339
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,430
Mom!
340
00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:37,023
Happy challoweenukah.
341
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:48,325
Ohh. Amber still hasn't
returned any of my texts.
342
00:13:48,376 --> 00:13:49,927
If only I knew
what I did to upset her.
343
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:51,545
If she was happy, I'd be happy.
344
00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:53,614
Oh, you're happy now.
No, I'm not.
345
00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:54,982
You're thrilled.
Don't over-think it.
346
00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:56,467
I feel like death!
347
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:59,253
Oh, I can't! Ohh!
348
00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:00,420
Amber is upset
349
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:01,705
because she wants to spend
Halloween with you,
350
00:14:01,756 --> 00:14:03,207
but you have chosen to spend it
with your family instead.
351
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,876
No way. She always says
she's not one of those girls.
352
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:06,944
When women on this planet say,
353
00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,261
"I'm not one of those girls,"
it means...
354
00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:09,763
"I'm
definitely one of those girls,
355
00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:11,081
"but it would
make me feel better
356
00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:14,084
if you pretended that I wasn't
but treated me like I was."
357
00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,086
That's so complicated!
358
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,421
I know, son.
359
00:14:17,455 --> 00:14:20,190
Females on earth
can get a bit ridiculous.
360
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:23,026
Mother, did you know
she felt this way all along
361
00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:25,512
and withheld the truth in order
to spend more time with me?
362
00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,798
Of course not!
363
00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,533
I'm not one of those mothers.
364
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:30,834
Okay, good.
365
00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:33,136
I'm gonna figure out
how to fix things with Amber.
366
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:35,806
Hmm.
Thank you, mother.
367
00:14:35,857 --> 00:14:38,275
I'm very proud of you,
Jackie joyner-kersee.
368
00:14:38,309 --> 00:14:39,927
You did the right thing.
369
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:43,080
I know.
I just wish it wasn't so hard.
370
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:45,549
Ohh, what the hell?!
371
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,173
Strange.
That's never done that before.
372
00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:54,575
Hmm.
373
00:14:54,609 --> 00:14:58,545
I got to say, guys,
we really did it.
374
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:01,515
BLT, assemble.
375
00:15:02,749 --> 00:15:04,316
This is awesome!
376
00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:08,204
We might really win this thing.
377
00:15:08,339 --> 00:15:10,122
Okay, but you guys
have to stand next to me.
378
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:11,441
Out of context,
I look like poo.
379
00:15:11,775 --> 00:15:13,659
Oh, don't worry, honey.
We will not leave your side.
380
00:15:13,694 --> 00:15:15,011
Now, let's
go wipe those smug looks
381
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,496
off the Hollanders'
nip-tuck faces!
382
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:17,630
Yes!
383
00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:20,366
Larry Bird is in jail!
Cancel all your plans!
384
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,185
We have to go to the
police station right now
385
00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:24,537
and rescue him s...
Great costume.
386
00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:26,439
You guys should enter
it in a contest.
387
00:15:26,473 --> 00:15:27,824
Larry's in jail?!
388
00:15:27,858 --> 00:15:30,827
Does he even have I.D.
or fingerprints?
389
00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:33,045
Come on, everyone.
Out of these costumes.
390
00:15:33,079 --> 00:15:34,213
We've got to go help him.
391
00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:35,715
Hurry!
Costumes off!
392
00:15:37,518 --> 00:15:38,768
All right, costumes stay on.
393
00:15:38,819 --> 00:15:40,069
- Come on.
- Okay, let's go.
394
00:15:40,103 --> 00:15:41,154
Screw it.
It's Halloween.
395
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,238
We won't be the only ones
396
00:15:42,272 --> 00:15:43,589
at the police station
in costume.
397
00:15:45,592 --> 00:15:47,093
Nope.
We're the only ones.
398
00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,678
My bad.
399
00:15:48,712 --> 00:15:51,597
He's right over here.
400
00:15:51,632 --> 00:15:54,066
Oh, my darling husband!
401
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,368
Wife!
402
00:15:55,402 --> 00:15:57,203
Get me out of this cage.
403
00:15:57,237 --> 00:16:00,373
They built a toilet
with no walls.
404
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,642
And my roommate is not modest.
405
00:16:02,676 --> 00:16:04,644
Larry, why were you
406
00:16:04,678 --> 00:16:07,313
trying to lure kids
into a van with candy?
407
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:09,414
Because I just wanted someone
408
00:16:09,432 --> 00:16:10,849
to celebrate
Challoweenukah with me.
409
00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:12,250
Challo... what?
410
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:13,886
Don't you remember
my invitation song?
411
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,354
What? The thing
with the ukulele?
412
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:16,388
Yes!
413
00:16:16,423 --> 00:16:17,723
You know, the next time
414
00:16:17,757 --> 00:16:20,526
someone sings you
an invitation song, listen.
415
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,027
'Cause the chances are
416
00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:23,228
they worked very hard on it.
417
00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:24,446
I'm sure they had
a very good reason
418
00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:26,298
for ignoring you, husband.
419
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:30,936
Yeah, well, we were, uh,
busy getting ready for a party.
420
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:35,224
Oh, but I'm sure
it was a Halloween fundraiser
421
00:16:35,275 --> 00:16:36,792
for sick children.
422
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,011
No, we were trying to
impress people we hate.
423
00:16:39,045 --> 00:16:41,797
Oh, but I'm sure you hate them
424
00:16:41,831 --> 00:16:43,882
because they hurt you
or your loved ones.
425
00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:47,019
No, we hate them
because they're rich and happy.
426
00:16:47,053 --> 00:16:49,855
Oh. So...
427
00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:52,341
They're good people, Jackie!
We're the bad people!
428
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:53,992
It's us. Right here.
429
00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:55,828
Someone tell me
what's happening here.
430
00:16:55,862 --> 00:16:57,663
And why is she
dressed like poop?
431
00:16:57,697 --> 00:16:59,515
Did I not say
that I looked like poop?
432
00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,833
BLT, assemble.
433
00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:06,388
Still awesome!
434
00:17:06,423 --> 00:17:07,723
You should enter that in a contest.
435
00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:08,791
Mm-hmm.
436
00:17:08,925 --> 00:17:09,725
It's a good thing
437
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,444
my cousin was
on duty tonight, Larry.
438
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:12,644
Yes, congratulations
439
00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:15,663
on your well-connected
police-officer cousin, Marty.
440
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:18,717
At least one Weaver amounted
to something in this world.
441
00:17:18,751 --> 00:17:19,885
So fulfilling to help you,
Larry.
442
00:17:19,919 --> 00:17:21,553
Really a priceless feeling.
443
00:17:24,891 --> 00:17:26,325
What's this?
444
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,193
I hope I'm not too late, Amber.
445
00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:33,332
I was hoping that we could go
as bacon and eggs this year.
446
00:17:33,366 --> 00:17:36,969
This is just
'cause you want to, right?
447
00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:38,837
- 'Cause you know I...
- I know.
448
00:17:38,871 --> 00:17:42,641
-
The cable car begins to move
- you don't care.
449
00:17:46,446 --> 00:17:48,564
-
You grab the bar
- I don't want to go to the party.
450
00:17:48,615 --> 00:17:51,083
-
I look at you
- I want to stay here with Reggie.
451
00:17:51,117 --> 00:17:54,620
But without you,
your family's just an LT
452
00:17:54,654 --> 00:17:56,988
And nothing is more
important to your family
453
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,874
than their precious
costume party.
454
00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:00,058
I don't get it, Larry!
455
00:18:00,093 --> 00:18:02,327
Why is Challoweenukah
so important to you?!
456
00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:03,929
Because it's not fair!
457
00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,197
Every few weeks,
458
00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:07,983
you get to explain
a new holiday to us.
459
00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:11,153
Larry, if we're annoying you,
we'll stop.
460
00:18:11,187 --> 00:18:13,205
No, we love celebrating
with you guys.
461
00:18:13,239 --> 00:18:15,073
You gave Jackie
a Thanksgiving dinner
462
00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:16,175
with her sisters,
463
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:18,961
all of us our first
Christmas morning,
464
00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:20,963
and remember Dick's face
465
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:22,631
when he blew out
his birthday candles?
466
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:25,601
I thought it would be nice if,
for once,
467
00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:28,287
I could be the one
doing that to your faces.
468
00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:32,441
You grab the bar, I look at you
- Stupid, I know.
469
00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:35,410
We're gonna be dressed as
bread for a week, aren't we?
470
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,579
Well, at least
we're not the poop.
471
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:38,714
Larry.
472
00:18:39,866 --> 00:18:44,119
Could we spend Challoweenukah
with your family?
473
00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:48,140
This is not some one-way mirror - Well,
I mean, if that's what you all want,
474
00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:51,760
looking out at the world we're in
- I-I mean, I-I-I won't stop you.
475
00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:56,331
we are the
love, we are the love we give
476
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:59,201
It's really coming down out there.
477
00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:00,419
We should probably stay in
478
00:19:00,453 --> 00:19:02,754
and give out candy to the
kids who are already out.
479
00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:03,805
We don't have enough.
480
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,807
Officer Watson
confiscated all my candy.
481
00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:07,476
I have only one bag left.
482
00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:09,978
And how will we make
one bag last all night
483
00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:12,147
on this, the eighth night?
484
00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:13,782
Well, I think with the storm...
485
00:19:13,816 --> 00:19:15,651
There aren't gonna
be many kids out.
486
00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:17,836
There might be enough
just to last the night.
487
00:19:17,871 --> 00:19:20,072
It's a miracle.
488
00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:24,409
Oh, boy.
I think a tree hit the power.
489
00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:26,912
It sure is dark in here.
490
00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:28,914
Oh, wow!
491
00:19:28,948 --> 00:19:30,415
Not to worry.
492
00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:32,000
This should last us
through the night.
493
00:19:32,051 --> 00:19:35,888
This is even more like the oil.
494
00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:37,222
Dad, we're following it.
495
00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:39,208
You don't have to hit
everything so hard.
496
00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:44,930
Trick or treat!
497
00:19:44,964 --> 00:19:47,649
We're celebrating
Challoweenukah.
498
00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:48,817
I can explain.
499
00:19:48,851 --> 00:19:51,336
Challoweenukah
is a combination of...
500
00:19:51,371 --> 00:19:52,354
Well, you know what?
501
00:19:52,405 --> 00:19:56,024
Hey, Larry.
You want to take this one?
502
00:19:56,459 --> 00:19:58,426
A long, long time ago,
503
00:19:58,461 --> 00:20:00,829
I was in a thing
called a Jewish deli,
504
00:20:00,863 --> 00:20:03,648
intrigued by something
called a kosher pickle.
505
00:20:03,683 --> 00:20:07,652
An old man told me
about a wonderful holiday
506
00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:09,237
called Chanukah.
507
00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:10,238
Chanukah...
508
00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:12,073
Best Challoweenukah ever, huh?
509
00:20:12,808 --> 00:20:14,442
Definitely top five.
510
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,843
Have a nice day, guys.
511
00:20:24,878 --> 00:20:26,328
Yeah, we love you.
512
00:20:26,346 --> 00:20:27,796
We love you, too.
513
00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:31,833
We're really sorry about
what we're about to do.
514
00:20:31,851 --> 00:20:33,519
Truly, deeply.
515
00:20:33,553 --> 00:20:36,472
Who are you, crazy bread lady?!
516
00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:39,141
Stay away from me!
Come on, Abby!
517
00:20:39,175 --> 00:20:40,943
Let's get away
from these strangers
518
00:20:40,977 --> 00:20:43,845
who we don't know
and aren't our parents!
519
00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:46,848
Remember, we gave you life!
520
00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:49,568
And a beautiful Challoweenukah!
521
00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:53,455
This feels wrong.
522
00:20:53,490 --> 00:20:56,792
Yeah.
Let's go, baby.
523
00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:59,884
- sync and corrections by bellows -
www.addic7ed.com
524
00:20:59,934 --> 00:21:04,484
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