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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,785 --> 00:00:06,485 Finish your poptart, guys. 2 00:00:06,586 --> 00:00:08,686 Eat while you walk, baby, you're gonna be late for school. 3 00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:13,187 It's too hot, the filling is burning my mouth 4 00:00:13,588 --> 00:00:15,488 Well, mouth it really fast sweetie. 5 00:00:15,489 --> 00:00:17,589 I'll get some neosporin later. 6 00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:18,990 Can't wait to get my car out of the shop. 7 00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:20,691 - This is killing me. - Killing you? 8 00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:23,692 I'm the one who has to drop you at work every day this week 9 00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:25,293 it's like driving Ms Daisy 10 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,194 oh my God, Tad and Larke Hollander ten o'clock. 11 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,095 Did they see us? 12 00:00:32,496 --> 00:00:33,396 - Yep, they saw us. - Ohh 13 00:00:33,397 --> 00:00:35,397 I cannot stand those two. I know. 14 00:00:35,398 --> 00:00:38,298 Last week when their kid beat Abby at the gymnastics meet 15 00:00:38,399 --> 00:00:40,399 Debbie you did such a good job. 16 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,183 It's more the way she said it, than the what she said. 17 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:45,053 - Ugh. - Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean. 18 00:00:45,304 --> 00:00:47,256 If I have to listen to their "we're better than you" 19 00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:49,091 breathy hyena laugh one more time, 20 00:00:49,142 --> 00:00:51,460 I cannot be held responsible for what I do. 21 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,080 - Oh, hi, guys! - Hi, guys! 22 00:00:54,414 --> 00:00:55,347 You! 23 00:00:55,382 --> 00:00:56,815 Oh, I just love that you guys 24 00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:59,268 - drop off your kids together, too. - Mm-hmm. 25 00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:02,254 There is nothing like a relaxing drive to school 26 00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:03,555 to digest a big breakfast. 27 00:01:06,158 --> 00:01:08,427 Today I made a smoked salmon Benedict 28 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,795 on these homemade croissant that I do. 29 00:01:10,829 --> 00:01:12,531 It's just... you know, it's fun and easy. 30 00:01:13,065 --> 00:01:14,500 So, guys, big day for the weavers. 31 00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:16,118 Our fam wants to invite your fam 32 00:01:16,152 --> 00:01:20,155 to a big bash we are throwing on Halloween night. 33 00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:22,841 - Here. - Would you... Bup. Yeah. Bup! 34 00:01:28,147 --> 00:01:29,231 I... scary, huh? 35 00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:32,084 I designed that. I design cards now. 36 00:01:32,118 --> 00:01:34,386 So, are you guys in? 37 00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:36,989 You know, ooh, we, um, have, uh... 38 00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:38,140 Another party. ...Church. 39 00:01:38,174 --> 00:01:39,791 We have a Halloween church party. 40 00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:42,144 - We're wiccan. - Yeah. 41 00:01:42,578 --> 00:01:45,013 Oh, well, you know what? You're probably better off. 42 00:01:45,547 --> 00:01:48,483 We're having a family-costume contest. 43 00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,451 You know, and we do have something really special planned. 44 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:52,420 - But, you know, whatever. - Tad, don't oversell it. 45 00:01:52,454 --> 00:01:53,571 Oh, aah, guilty. 46 00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:54,739 He's not, though. 47 00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,707 It really is... It's quite a costume. 48 00:02:01,447 --> 00:02:03,364 You know what? We... we could... 49 00:02:03,398 --> 00:02:05,299 We could probably make your party, after all. 50 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,919 Yeah, and FYI, we have a pretty spectacular 51 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,921 family costume planned, as well, so... 52 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,772 Oh, good. Okay. But what about your church party? 53 00:02:11,807 --> 00:02:12,940 We're thinking of quitting church. 54 00:02:12,975 --> 00:02:15,526 - Too many parties. - Yeah. 55 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,311 Fab! That's such good news. 56 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,298 Guys, no hands. No hands! 57 00:02:20,332 --> 00:02:22,483 Oh, that's so... that's so stupid. 58 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:25,469 Marty, we have got to win that costume contest! 59 00:02:25,487 --> 00:02:27,605 It's become the new focus of my entire life. Yes. 60 00:02:27,623 --> 00:02:28,623 Ohh. 61 00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:30,842 Aah! I know. I know. 62 00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:36,230 - sync and corrections by bellows - www.addic7ed.com 63 00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:40,167 We came from outer space and settled in New Jersey 64 00:02:40,218 --> 00:02:44,004 we took names like Larry Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee 65 00:02:44,055 --> 00:02:46,173 then the humans moved next door 66 00:02:46,224 --> 00:02:48,392 started testing all our limits 67 00:02:48,426 --> 00:02:50,527 so sit right down, enjoy the show 68 00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:53,931 we'll be done in 30 minutes. 69 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:58,602 Children, have you ever met the bogeyman before? 70 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,104 No, of course, you haven't 71 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,439 for you're much too good, I'm sure 72 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:06,610 don't you be afraid of him if he should visit you 73 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,279 he's a great big coward, so I'll tell you what to do 74 00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,566 Family, I have an announcement. 75 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,918 I was just in a thing called a Jewish deli 76 00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,552 because I was intrigued by something in the window 77 00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:17,054 called a kosher pickle. 78 00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:19,056 Oh, Amber eats those during lunch. 79 00:03:19,124 --> 00:03:21,558 It makes her kisses taste extra sour. 80 00:03:21,593 --> 00:03:22,810 Stay focused. 81 00:03:22,844 --> 00:03:24,094 Now, the man behind the counter 82 00:03:24,128 --> 00:03:25,346 told me about a Jewish holiday 83 00:03:25,397 --> 00:03:26,847 called C-Chanukah. 84 00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:30,734 Ooh, I love that "c-ch" sound you just made. Tell me more. 85 00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:33,070 Well, a very long time ago, 86 00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:35,322 a Jewish temple was trashed by bad guys, 87 00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:37,107 and there was an oil lamp in the temple 88 00:03:37,141 --> 00:03:38,692 that was never supposed to go out. 89 00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:41,195 And there was only enough oil to burn the lamp for one day. 90 00:03:41,246 --> 00:03:42,529 Let me guess. 91 00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:45,165 So the lamp burned for one night and then ran out of oil. 92 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,167 No, that little bit of oil 93 00:03:47,202 --> 00:03:49,954 burned for eight days until they could get more. 94 00:03:49,988 --> 00:03:51,672 But how, papa? 95 00:03:51,706 --> 00:03:53,340 It was a miracle. 96 00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:54,675 So to celebrate, 97 00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:56,844 the jewishes light candles and get presents 98 00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:58,345 every night for eight nights. 99 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,531 I wish Halloween was eight nights. 100 00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:03,050 Family, a mission. 101 00:04:04,152 --> 00:04:06,420 We shall take the two best holidays on this planet 102 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:09,456 and combine them into one new, ultimate holiday. 103 00:04:09,491 --> 00:04:10,975 All right, I'm in! 104 00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:13,360 But how does one celebrate flag day-ramadan? 105 00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:15,979 No, woman. I'm talking about Challo-nukah-ween. 106 00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:18,065 Hanuk-loo-kah-wah-kah-kah-kah. 107 00:04:18,099 --> 00:04:19,767 Hallo-haka-hah! 108 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,218 I have it! 109 00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:22,903 Drumroll, please, dick! 110 00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:30,344 Dick, I haven't got all day. Come on. Pick up. 111 00:04:36,868 --> 00:04:41,005 We shall combine... Halloween and Chanukah. 112 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,975 It's called... 113 00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:46,193 Challoweenukah. 114 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,112 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Cool! 115 00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:50,247 Well, it's cute, but it's no Flamadan. 116 00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:55,919 So, Halloween... 117 00:04:56,153 --> 00:04:58,438 I was thinking I'd go as young Yoko Ono, 118 00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,923 and you could go as old Yoko Ono 119 00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:01,524 because we already have the hair. 120 00:05:01,559 --> 00:05:02,909 Actually, I'm going to spend Halloween 121 00:05:02,943 --> 00:05:03,943 with my family this year. 122 00:05:03,978 --> 00:05:06,596 Father is inventing the greatest holiday 123 00:05:06,614 --> 00:05:08,565 of all time. 124 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,633 Oh. 125 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,368 I-is that okay? 126 00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:13,069 Yeah. Totally. 127 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,571 Are you sure? 128 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,539 Uh-huh. 129 00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:18,158 Is this a thing? 130 00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:19,125 Not a thing. 131 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,710 Reggie, what do I always say? 132 00:05:21,145 --> 00:05:22,245 "Take your finger out of your nose, Reggie. 133 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:23,329 It's disgusting." 134 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:23,980 True that. 135 00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:25,248 But I also say I'm not the type of girl 136 00:05:25,282 --> 00:05:27,618 that needs to spend every second with her boyfriend. 137 00:05:28,569 --> 00:05:29,819 Exactly... it's one of ther easons that I'm glad 138 00:05:29,853 --> 00:05:31,187 I'm with you and not crazy Jane. 139 00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:32,989 Nor do I mind that you once again 140 00:05:33,023 --> 00:05:34,290 brought up your stalker soul mate 141 00:05:34,324 --> 00:05:35,958 while blowing me off on a major holiday. 142 00:05:35,993 --> 00:05:37,060 It doesn't bother me at all. 143 00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:38,377 - Great. - Great. 144 00:05:38,412 --> 00:05:41,030 Great...Is how I cleaned this counter... so great. 145 00:05:41,065 --> 00:05:42,031 Great, great, great. 146 00:05:42,066 --> 00:05:45,151 Hmm. 147 00:05:45,202 --> 00:05:46,786 Reggie, take your finger out of your nose. 148 00:05:46,837 --> 00:05:48,471 It's disgusting. 149 00:05:48,505 --> 00:05:51,373 Chanukah is a holiday about miracles 150 00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:53,359 that lasts for eight days. 151 00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:57,363 And Halloween is about candy and adorable costumes. 152 00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:58,498 And we shall combine the two 153 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,517 for an unprecedented eight days of candy... 154 00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:03,369 Dreidels, 155 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:04,437 pumpkins, and miracles. 156 00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:05,772 - Aww! - Aww! - Aww! 157 00:06:05,806 --> 00:06:06,856 Any questions? 158 00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:09,192 Yes, the, uh, cutie-patootie up front. 159 00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:10,326 Well... Not you. 160 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,661 The bite-sized ginger snap to your left. 161 00:06:11,695 --> 00:06:13,162 It appears Halloween and Chanukah 162 00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:14,864 have nothing in common... Annoying! 163 00:06:14,898 --> 00:06:15,965 Yes. You. 164 00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:17,467 What's the deal with candy corn? 165 00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:19,769 It's not candy, and it's not corn, so... 166 00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,270 No, not a good question. Sorry. 167 00:06:21,304 --> 00:06:22,989 Yes. 168 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,040 Is it "C-Chanukah" or "Chan-ukah"? 169 00:06:24,074 --> 00:06:26,492 Who cares? It's eight days. Yes. 170 00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:29,128 - What is a miracle? - A miracle is an unexpected, 171 00:06:29,179 --> 00:06:30,963 completely extraordinary event 172 00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:32,682 that occurs when you least expect it. 173 00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:33,850 Oh, like when we found out 174 00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:35,151 we were pregnant with dick. 175 00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:36,486 No, that was an accident. 176 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,538 Hey, guys. I'm sitting right here. 177 00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:41,257 You were planned. 178 00:06:45,094 --> 00:06:46,511 So, we're gonna come up 179 00:06:46,562 --> 00:06:49,564 with the ultimate family Halloween costume. 180 00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,366 We're gonna go to the hollanders, and we're going to... 181 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,034 Well, how do I put this delicately? 182 00:06:53,069 --> 00:06:54,452 Demolish them! 183 00:06:54,487 --> 00:06:56,788 Kick their smug, spray-tanned butts! 184 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:58,256 Yeah, but delicately. 185 00:06:58,291 --> 00:06:59,808 They think they're so fancy 186 00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:02,511 with their good hygiene and their top-shelf healthcare. 187 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:05,263 "Ooh, we're the Hollanders. We have all our vaccinations. 188 00:07:05,314 --> 00:07:06,781 We can't get the smallpox." 189 00:07:06,816 --> 00:07:09,901 They deserve everything they got coming. 190 00:07:09,952 --> 00:07:13,238 And Blake Hollander is the most annoying kid in my class. 191 00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:16,291 He calls show-and-tell "my time to shine." 192 00:07:18,094 --> 00:07:19,377 And whenever I play house with Lanie Hollander, 193 00:07:19,428 --> 00:07:22,681 she makes me be the maid, and I have to empty my pockets 194 00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:25,317 to prove I didn't steal the good silver. 195 00:07:25,351 --> 00:07:27,819 I hate the Hollanders! 196 00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,487 Hey, hey! Weavers don't hate. 197 00:07:29,522 --> 00:07:30,939 - We apprec... - Destroy! 198 00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:32,941 Really?! Come on! 199 00:07:32,975 --> 00:07:35,327 "Weavers don't hate. We appreciate," is your line. 200 00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:37,696 Amber, we're gonna need 100% participation 201 00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:38,997 to pull this off. 202 00:07:39,031 --> 00:07:41,917 Yeah, I'm in. It's not like I have anything better to do. 203 00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,568 That's so great. You got nothing. 204 00:07:43,603 --> 00:07:44,669 Thank you for that. 205 00:07:44,704 --> 00:07:46,171 Okay. Let's brainstorm. 206 00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:53,011 What's spooky and miraculous and lasts for eight days? 207 00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:55,680 Larry, now is not a good time. the best holiday 208 00:07:55,715 --> 00:07:59,351 it's called Challoweenukah - Larry, we have to... 209 00:07:59,385 --> 00:08:02,137 So, come spend the next eight days with 210 00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:04,723 - Oh? me and Jack... 211 00:08:06,943 --> 00:08:08,026 Didn't even get to the bridge. 212 00:08:15,273 --> 00:08:18,040 All right, come on. What is a good five-person costume? 213 00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:19,008 Everyone, think. 214 00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:20,827 We can be the seasons. 215 00:08:20,861 --> 00:08:22,512 There's only four, baby. 216 00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:23,646 Nuh-unh! 217 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,949 Winter, spring, 218 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,917 summer, autumn, 219 00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:29,085 and fall. 220 00:08:30,554 --> 00:08:32,655 One problem at a time. 221 00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:35,825 We will be celebrating Challoweenukah 222 00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,110 without the Weavers 223 00:08:37,161 --> 00:08:39,779 because they have callously rejected our invitation 224 00:08:39,813 --> 00:08:41,614 to join us for Challoweenukah. 225 00:08:41,682 --> 00:08:43,933 Chop-chop, everyone. Let's get our Challoweenukah on. 226 00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:47,871 Challoweenukah starts tonight. It's spooky and miraculous. 227 00:08:47,905 --> 00:08:49,706 Be there or be square. 228 00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,508 Challoweenukah... A new holiday by Larry Bird. 229 00:08:52,543 --> 00:08:54,410 Join me tonight. 230 00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:58,031 231 00:08:58,065 --> 00:09:01,000 Nobody's gonna know we're the Obamas. 232 00:09:01,051 --> 00:09:02,802 What if we paint our faces? 233 00:09:02,853 --> 00:09:04,437 - No, no. - No, Abby. - That's a bad idea. 234 00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:05,521 What? 235 00:09:05,555 --> 00:09:07,740 236 00:09:15,232 --> 00:09:18,001 The dreidel won't spin. 237 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,252 We don't need the Weavers 238 00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:23,673 any more than the maccabees needed the, um...Uh... 239 00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:27,943 Are you seriously looking at me for this? 240 00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,964 The cast of "Sex and the city." Now, this could work. 241 00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:35,433 I don't know what looks more delicious... 242 00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:39,838 That cosmo or the hunk serving it. 243 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,723 - No. - Too creepy. - Absolutely not. 244 00:09:41,757 --> 00:09:42,891 245 00:09:48,147 --> 00:09:51,049 Husband, we haven't had one trick-or-treater. 246 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:53,552 This is worse than your one-man show. 247 00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:56,705 "Keep calm and Larry on" was a masterpiece. 248 00:09:56,739 --> 00:09:58,557 Was it? 249 00:09:58,991 --> 00:10:02,594 See? We're basket Weavers 250 00:10:02,628 --> 00:10:05,313 'cause our last name is Weaver! 251 00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:07,549 We had a better shot at winning in blackface. 252 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,284 Children? 253 00:10:10,219 --> 00:10:13,221 Come take treats from my candy menorah. 254 00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,556 255 00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:16,891 Oh, trick-or-treaters, where are you? 256 00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:20,345 Children?! Anyone?! 257 00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,365 Why doesn't anyone like my holiday? 258 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:27,501 Oh, husband, maybe we should get ready 259 00:10:27,536 --> 00:10:29,220 to celebrate Halloween classic. 260 00:10:29,271 --> 00:10:31,188 You can write off Challoweenukah as... 261 00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:32,673 As a-a noble failure 262 00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:35,543 like the American jury system or MySpace. 263 00:10:35,577 --> 00:10:37,378 You want to give up? 264 00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:39,764 No, way, Monet. 265 00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:41,515 We just need one miracle. 266 00:10:41,549 --> 00:10:43,901 Face it, father. We should just have a regular Halloween. 267 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,352 - No "ukah"? - No "ukah." 268 00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:46,704 - A little "ukah"? - No more "ukah." 269 00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:48,339 - Damn. - Hmm. 270 00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,508 You infidels give up if you want to. 271 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,060 The Weavers dismissed me. Why shouldn't you? 272 00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:56,113 But we still have two days of Challoweenukah left. 273 00:10:56,164 --> 00:10:58,115 And if the children won't come to me, 274 00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:01,385 then I shall bring my holiday to them. 275 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,639 Challoweenukah may have been a bust, 276 00:11:05,674 --> 00:11:07,441 but I love that you and I 277 00:11:07,475 --> 00:11:09,293 are spending time together without Amber. 278 00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:13,314 I can't figure out why she isn't answering my texts. 279 00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,683 Oh, who knows why women do the things they do? 280 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,817 It started around the time 281 00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:18,436 I told her I was going to spend Halloween 282 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,421 with my family and not her. 283 00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,589 It seems fairly obvious that she... 284 00:11:21,623 --> 00:11:24,225 That there's no way of knowing what's wrong. 285 00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:26,444 Are you ready to carve our Jack-o-lanterns? 286 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,595 Yeah. 287 00:11:28,613 --> 00:11:30,381 I'll get the stencils. 288 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,250 What?! 289 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:34,719 Last year, he spent Halloween with Amber. 290 00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:36,220 So this year, he should spend it with me. 291 00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:37,288 Just like last month, 292 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,939 he spent their anniversary with her. 293 00:11:38,974 --> 00:11:41,075 So this month, he'll have to spend it with me. 294 00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,626 Yeesh! 295 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,933 Remember I have karate after school today. 296 00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,184 Nope, not going. 297 00:11:51,219 --> 00:11:52,802 We're hunkering down and figuring out a costume 298 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,487 for tonight if it kills us. 299 00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:55,822 Why would it kill us? 300 00:11:55,856 --> 00:11:57,374 Scram! 301 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,793 I still like basket Weavers. 302 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,813 Aah! Aah! Aah! 303 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,816 Geez! How are we giving these to our children?! 304 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,735 Marty, you spit pop-tart all over me! 305 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:09,986 Aah! 306 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,789 Oh, it's burning my skin. These really are hot. 307 00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:16,092 Beep! 308 00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:17,928 Beep! Uh-oh. 309 00:12:17,962 --> 00:12:20,346 Deb, you have some... Some crumbs on your... 310 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,899 Thanks, larke. 311 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,401 Super-excited for tonight. 312 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,369 Yeah, well, our costumes can't lose. 313 00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,005 Well, then, how about we make a friendly wager? 314 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,741 Let's say $5,000... 315 00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,210 Honey, they can't afford that. Have you seen their house? 316 00:12:34,245 --> 00:12:36,563 How about instead, whoever loses the contest 317 00:12:36,597 --> 00:12:38,565 has to wear their ugly costumes to drop-off 318 00:12:38,599 --> 00:12:39,866 every morning for a week? 319 00:12:39,901 --> 00:12:41,651 Ha ha! 320 00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,203 You got a deal. 321 00:12:43,237 --> 00:12:45,071 Well, then, this is gonna be a hoot. 322 00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:47,040 Ciao! 323 00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:48,341 Ciao. 324 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,343 Ha ha! 325 00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:52,762 They didn't think we could afford the bet! 326 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,014 We can't. I know! 327 00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:55,165 I hate them so much! 328 00:12:55,199 --> 00:12:57,017 I hate them, too. 329 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,401 This is probably not the time, 330 00:12:58,436 --> 00:13:00,020 but you have pop-tart in your hair. 331 00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:01,321 I know! I smell it burning! 332 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,109 Children? 333 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,777 Gather 'round! 334 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:11,615 I've created a magical new holiday. 335 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:16,119 And the weavers don't care, so I've brought it to you. 336 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,587 Come closer. 337 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:21,124 Come closer to my van. 338 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:25,128 Now...Who wants candy? 339 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,430 Mom! 340 00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:37,023 Happy challoweenukah. 341 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:48,325 Ohh. Amber still hasn't returned any of my texts. 342 00:13:48,376 --> 00:13:49,927 If only I knew what I did to upset her. 343 00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:51,545 If she was happy, I'd be happy. 344 00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:53,614 Oh, you're happy now. No, I'm not. 345 00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:54,982 You're thrilled. Don't over-think it. 346 00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:56,467 I feel like death! 347 00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:59,253 Oh, I can't! Ohh! 348 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:00,420 Amber is upset 349 00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:01,705 because she wants to spend Halloween with you, 350 00:14:01,756 --> 00:14:03,207 but you have chosen to spend it with your family instead. 351 00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,876 No way. She always says she's not one of those girls. 352 00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:06,944 When women on this planet say, 353 00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,261 "I'm not one of those girls," it means... 354 00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:09,763 "I'm definitely one of those girls, 355 00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:11,081 "but it would make me feel better 356 00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:14,084 if you pretended that I wasn't but treated me like I was." 357 00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,086 That's so complicated! 358 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,421 I know, son. 359 00:14:17,455 --> 00:14:20,190 Females on earth can get a bit ridiculous. 360 00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:23,026 Mother, did you know she felt this way all along 361 00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:25,512 and withheld the truth in order to spend more time with me? 362 00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,798 Of course not! 363 00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,533 I'm not one of those mothers. 364 00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:30,834 Okay, good. 365 00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:33,136 I'm gonna figure out how to fix things with Amber. 366 00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:35,806 Hmm. Thank you, mother. 367 00:14:35,857 --> 00:14:38,275 I'm very proud of you, Jackie joyner-kersee. 368 00:14:38,309 --> 00:14:39,927 You did the right thing. 369 00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:43,080 I know. I just wish it wasn't so hard. 370 00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:45,549 Ohh, what the hell?! 371 00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,173 Strange. That's never done that before. 372 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:54,575 Hmm. 373 00:14:54,609 --> 00:14:58,545 I got to say, guys, we really did it. 374 00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:01,515 BLT, assemble. 375 00:15:02,749 --> 00:15:04,316 This is awesome! 376 00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:08,204 We might really win this thing. 377 00:15:08,339 --> 00:15:10,122 Okay, but you guys have to stand next to me. 378 00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:11,441 Out of context, I look like poo. 379 00:15:11,775 --> 00:15:13,659 Oh, don't worry, honey. We will not leave your side. 380 00:15:13,694 --> 00:15:15,011 Now, let's go wipe those smug looks 381 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,496 off the Hollanders' nip-tuck faces! 382 00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:17,630 Yes! 383 00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:20,366 Larry Bird is in jail! Cancel all your plans! 384 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,185 We have to go to the police station right now 385 00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:24,537 and rescue him s... Great costume. 386 00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:26,439 You guys should enter it in a contest. 387 00:15:26,473 --> 00:15:27,824 Larry's in jail?! 388 00:15:27,858 --> 00:15:30,827 Does he even have I.D. or fingerprints? 389 00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:33,045 Come on, everyone. Out of these costumes. 390 00:15:33,079 --> 00:15:34,213 We've got to go help him. 391 00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:35,715 Hurry! Costumes off! 392 00:15:37,518 --> 00:15:38,768 All right, costumes stay on. 393 00:15:38,819 --> 00:15:40,069 - Come on. - Okay, let's go. 394 00:15:40,103 --> 00:15:41,154 Screw it. It's Halloween. 395 00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,238 We won't be the only ones 396 00:15:42,272 --> 00:15:43,589 at the police station in costume. 397 00:15:45,592 --> 00:15:47,093 Nope. We're the only ones. 398 00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,678 My bad. 399 00:15:48,712 --> 00:15:51,597 He's right over here. 400 00:15:51,632 --> 00:15:54,066 Oh, my darling husband! 401 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,368 Wife! 402 00:15:55,402 --> 00:15:57,203 Get me out of this cage. 403 00:15:57,237 --> 00:16:00,373 They built a toilet with no walls. 404 00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,642 And my roommate is not modest. 405 00:16:02,676 --> 00:16:04,644 Larry, why were you 406 00:16:04,678 --> 00:16:07,313 trying to lure kids into a van with candy? 407 00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:09,414 Because I just wanted someone 408 00:16:09,432 --> 00:16:10,849 to celebrate Challoweenukah with me. 409 00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:12,250 Challo... what? 410 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:13,886 Don't you remember my invitation song? 411 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,354 What? The thing with the ukulele? 412 00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:16,388 Yes! 413 00:16:16,423 --> 00:16:17,723 You know, the next time 414 00:16:17,757 --> 00:16:20,526 someone sings you an invitation song, listen. 415 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,027 'Cause the chances are 416 00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:23,228 they worked very hard on it. 417 00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:24,446 I'm sure they had a very good reason 418 00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:26,298 for ignoring you, husband. 419 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:30,936 Yeah, well, we were, uh, busy getting ready for a party. 420 00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:35,224 Oh, but I'm sure it was a Halloween fundraiser 421 00:16:35,275 --> 00:16:36,792 for sick children. 422 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,011 No, we were trying to impress people we hate. 423 00:16:39,045 --> 00:16:41,797 Oh, but I'm sure you hate them 424 00:16:41,831 --> 00:16:43,882 because they hurt you or your loved ones. 425 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:47,019 No, we hate them because they're rich and happy. 426 00:16:47,053 --> 00:16:49,855 Oh. So... 427 00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:52,341 They're good people, Jackie! We're the bad people! 428 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:53,992 It's us. Right here. 429 00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:55,828 Someone tell me what's happening here. 430 00:16:55,862 --> 00:16:57,663 And why is she dressed like poop? 431 00:16:57,697 --> 00:16:59,515 Did I not say that I looked like poop? 432 00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,833 BLT, assemble. 433 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:06,388 Still awesome! 434 00:17:06,423 --> 00:17:07,723 You should enter that in a contest. 435 00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:08,791 Mm-hmm. 436 00:17:08,925 --> 00:17:09,725 It's a good thing 437 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,444 my cousin was on duty tonight, Larry. 438 00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:12,644 Yes, congratulations 439 00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:15,663 on your well-connected police-officer cousin, Marty. 440 00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:18,717 At least one Weaver amounted to something in this world. 441 00:17:18,751 --> 00:17:19,885 So fulfilling to help you, Larry. 442 00:17:19,919 --> 00:17:21,553 Really a priceless feeling. 443 00:17:24,891 --> 00:17:26,325 What's this? 444 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,193 I hope I'm not too late, Amber. 445 00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:33,332 I was hoping that we could go as bacon and eggs this year. 446 00:17:33,366 --> 00:17:36,969 This is just 'cause you want to, right? 447 00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:38,837 - 'Cause you know I... - I know. 448 00:17:38,871 --> 00:17:42,641 - The cable car begins to move - you don't care. 449 00:17:46,446 --> 00:17:48,564 - You grab the bar - I don't want to go to the party. 450 00:17:48,615 --> 00:17:51,083 - I look at you - I want to stay here with Reggie. 451 00:17:51,117 --> 00:17:54,620 But without you, your family's just an LT 452 00:17:54,654 --> 00:17:56,988 And nothing is more important to your family 453 00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,874 than their precious costume party. 454 00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:00,058 I don't get it, Larry! 455 00:18:00,093 --> 00:18:02,327 Why is Challoweenukah so important to you?! 456 00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:03,929 Because it's not fair! 457 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,197 Every few weeks, 458 00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:07,983 you get to explain a new holiday to us. 459 00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:11,153 Larry, if we're annoying you, we'll stop. 460 00:18:11,187 --> 00:18:13,205 No, we love celebrating with you guys. 461 00:18:13,239 --> 00:18:15,073 You gave Jackie a Thanksgiving dinner 462 00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:16,175 with her sisters, 463 00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:18,961 all of us our first Christmas morning, 464 00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:20,963 and remember Dick's face 465 00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:22,631 when he blew out his birthday candles? 466 00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:25,601 I thought it would be nice if, for once, 467 00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:28,287 I could be the one doing that to your faces. 468 00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:32,441 You grab the bar, I look at you - Stupid, I know. 469 00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:35,410 We're gonna be dressed as bread for a week, aren't we? 470 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,579 Well, at least we're not the poop. 471 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:38,714 Larry. 472 00:18:39,866 --> 00:18:44,119 Could we spend Challoweenukah with your family? 473 00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:48,140 This is not some one-way mirror - Well, I mean, if that's what you all want, 474 00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:51,760 looking out at the world we're in - I-I mean, I-I-I won't stop you. 475 00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:56,331 we are the love, we are the love we give 476 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:59,201 It's really coming down out there. 477 00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:00,419 We should probably stay in 478 00:19:00,453 --> 00:19:02,754 and give out candy to the kids who are already out. 479 00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:03,805 We don't have enough. 480 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,807 Officer Watson confiscated all my candy. 481 00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:07,476 I have only one bag left. 482 00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:09,978 And how will we make one bag last all night 483 00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:12,147 on this, the eighth night? 484 00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:13,782 Well, I think with the storm... 485 00:19:13,816 --> 00:19:15,651 There aren't gonna be many kids out. 486 00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:17,836 There might be enough just to last the night. 487 00:19:17,871 --> 00:19:20,072 It's a miracle. 488 00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:24,409 Oh, boy. I think a tree hit the power. 489 00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:26,912 It sure is dark in here. 490 00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:28,914 Oh, wow! 491 00:19:28,948 --> 00:19:30,415 Not to worry. 492 00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:32,000 This should last us through the night. 493 00:19:32,051 --> 00:19:35,888 This is even more like the oil. 494 00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:37,222 Dad, we're following it. 495 00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:39,208 You don't have to hit everything so hard. 496 00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:44,930 Trick or treat! 497 00:19:44,964 --> 00:19:47,649 We're celebrating Challoweenukah. 498 00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:48,817 I can explain. 499 00:19:48,851 --> 00:19:51,336 Challoweenukah is a combination of... 500 00:19:51,371 --> 00:19:52,354 Well, you know what? 501 00:19:52,405 --> 00:19:56,024 Hey, Larry. You want to take this one? 502 00:19:56,459 --> 00:19:58,426 A long, long time ago, 503 00:19:58,461 --> 00:20:00,829 I was in a thing called a Jewish deli, 504 00:20:00,863 --> 00:20:03,648 intrigued by something called a kosher pickle. 505 00:20:03,683 --> 00:20:07,652 An old man told me about a wonderful holiday 506 00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:09,237 called Chanukah. 507 00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:10,238 Chanukah... 508 00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:12,073 Best Challoweenukah ever, huh? 509 00:20:12,808 --> 00:20:14,442 Definitely top five. 510 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,843 Have a nice day, guys. 511 00:20:24,878 --> 00:20:26,328 Yeah, we love you. 512 00:20:26,346 --> 00:20:27,796 We love you, too. 513 00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:31,833 We're really sorry about what we're about to do. 514 00:20:31,851 --> 00:20:33,519 Truly, deeply. 515 00:20:33,553 --> 00:20:36,472 Who are you, crazy bread lady?! 516 00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:39,141 Stay away from me! Come on, Abby! 517 00:20:39,175 --> 00:20:40,943 Let's get away from these strangers 518 00:20:40,977 --> 00:20:43,845 who we don't know and aren't our parents! 519 00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:46,848 Remember, we gave you life! 520 00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:49,568 And a beautiful Challoweenukah! 521 00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:53,455 This feels wrong. 522 00:20:53,490 --> 00:20:56,792 Yeah. Let's go, baby. 523 00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:59,884 - sync and corrections by bellows - www.addic7ed.com 524 00:20:59,934 --> 00:21:04,484 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37789

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